Holy shit, how much did I miss last week? Sun's garden has gotten amazingly out of hand, with what looks like acres upon acres of corn, growing row on row. And not only that, but somebody discovered a car? Or possibly we're jumping right into the flashback this week. A green convertible drives through our shot, from up above, and, judging by the hair, it's driven by a blonde woman or someone from the band Poison. The car parks, and the woman gets out and opens the trunk, which looks empty until she lifts up where the spare tire well, which holds instead several license plates from various states, which she has apparently taken the trouble to fasten down, since they are arranged rather neatly. She selects one, and gets to work removing the Alaska one from the back of her car.
Behind her, a family checks out of a motel, which is right by a huge field, so maybe Kevin Costner built this right after the ball diamond. The cleaning woman wheels her tray of cleaning supplies down the walk, and after she goes into a room to make it up, Blondie strolls by (which means she took that plate off amazingly quickly), grabbing a couple of towels and some shampoo and darting into the just-vacated room, switching the "please make up as soon as possible" door-hanger over to the "please do not disturb" side.
Inside, Blondie -- and can I point out how annoying it is that the director has gone to such pains to avoid showing her face, when WE ALL KNOW it's Kate -- strips down to her bra and goes to work stripping the blonde from her hair, in a Janet Leigh-esque shower scene that doesn't end up with her getting stabbed. It ends with Blondie (now Brunettie) turning around so that we see that it's -- gasp -- actually Kate.
Kate walks into some hotel, I guess, and she's wearing these giant sunglasses that totally don't make her appear to have something to hide, and she tells the dude there that she's expecting a letter, "one for guest arrival" is what it sounds like she says, and she says her name is "Joan Hart" and the dude pulls out a box of letters and finds the one marked Joan Hart, and we get a quick shot of her new license plate, from Ohio, and you're like, "Why are you showing us this now?" and then you realize the state slogan is "The heart of it all," like, nice one, Kateser Soze.
Outside, Kate reads a letter that makes her cry a whole lot more than any letter has ever made me cry, especially one that also contained a bunch of twenty-dollar bills.
Kate's on the beach, playing with that toy plane that she killed a bunch of bank-robbing idiots to get, and if you were to ask yourself, "Who am I not in the mood to be annoyed by right now?" the answer would likely be Charlie, so that means you're out of luck, because he yells "platinum" from behind Kate, and he strolls up, unfortunately with his guitar strapped on, and he sits down and says he figures that Driveshaft's album sales probably spiked big time when everyone found out that he likely died in a catastrophic plane crash. He's so deluded. Is that really the reaction when someone from a one-hit wonder dies? Like, would you rush out looking for a Dexy's Midnight Runners album if that guy died in a plane crash? I'm guessing no. But Kate just indulges Charlie's fantasy of how insane it's going to be when he comes back. She takes this to mean he believes the raft will be successful. "Of course it'll work! Take a look at that thing! It's not a raft. They built a sodding boat!" says Charlie. And he blathers on about the rafters being picked up, then the helicopters coming, making them "eternally and ridiculously famous." In a surprising twist, Kate looks conflicted, which Charlie takes to mean that she doesn't want to be famous, and I guess Charlie's lone brain cell is completely preoccupied with plucking away on the guitar.
“ So when I saw Mackenzie Astin's name in the credits, I freaked somewhat, worried that I was going to have to deal with two annoying hobbits this week, but then I remembered that that was Mackenzie's brother Sean. ”
Mercutio's telling Kate tough luck, since there's four of them on the raft, and that's it. Kate's all incredulous, including Sawyer? Mercutio says that Sawyer had stuff they needed, so he bought his way onto the raft. Kate says that Sawyer doesn't know anything about boats, unlike her, who spent two summers crewing J-boats. She even tries pointing out that the deal Mercutio made was for the first raft, which burned, but Mercutio doesn't want to argue semantics. Tough noogies, Kate. And then she tries acting all surprised that Mercutio's taking his son, what with how dangerous it is. As opposed to, I suppose, leaving him without his father on the worry-free island. Anyway, it's the wrong tack to take with Mercutio, who snaps that he'll decide what's best for his boy. In this case, that means getting off the island.
Flashback. Kate's carrying a huge bouquet of flowers, which let's all assume she stole, through a hospital corridor. She looks more made up than she does on the island (makes sense, I'll admit), and I have to say I much prefer the freckled-faced "natural look" of Island Kate, but that's neither here nor there. She tells the woman at the desk that she has a delivery for "Diane Janzen," and the woman says Diane just came up from ICU and gives Kate (with the audio not matching up to the video at all) directions to her room. Kate's all smiles going around the corner, at least until she sees a state trooper sitting on a chair in the hallway, presumably outside Diana's room. She shifts the bouquet of flowers so that it blocks her face from the trooper's view and strolls on by the trooper. So the police are looking for Kate? In that case, why not have a couple of plainclothes cops in the hospital? Why scare her away from this person's room? And if this cop is supposedly here because of the possibility of Kate showing up, why is he not checking out the people in the hallway, especially a woman of Kate's build who has a bouquet of flowers suspiciously hiding her face?
So when I saw Mackenzie Astin's name in the credits, I freaked somewhat, worried that I was going to have to deal with two annoying hobbits this week, but then I remembered that that was Mackenzie's brother Sean. Anyway, Mackenzie appears to be a doctor at the hospital, and he gets into his car in the parking lot, and his car happens to have a Kate in the back seat. He's startled but seems pleasantly surprised, calling her "Katie." He asks what she's doing there, and she tells him (his name is Tom) that Diane's dying of cancer, and Kate felt she owed it to her to come back. "I heard," he says. "I'm sorry." She says she is too. He then asks if there's any particular reason she's hanging out in the backseat of his car, and she tells him she needs his help. I think some sweet smiling and batted eyelashes are upcoming.
Back on the island, Sun comes up to Jin, who's working on the raft and asks if he's going. He doesn't respond. "Please, Jin, talk to me," she says. So he pauses for a moment and tells her that he is, indeed, going. Dude can hold a grudge, can't he? Sun sadly (yet sexily!) walks away.
“ 'Your only chance of running's getting on that raft, ain't it?' he calls after her, theorizing that after the rafters get picked up and rescuers come for the rest of them on the island, there's going to be a big ol' asterisk to her name. Is this a steroid thing, or is it because Kate played more games in a season than the Babe did? ”
Jack's following Sayid through the jungle, bitching all the way, since Sayid hasn't told Jack where they're going, and Sayid says he felt it's better if Jack sees it (the hatch, I'm presuming) for himself. Not surprisingly, Jack doesn't agree, and says he's turning around and going back right now if Sayid doesn't tell him where they're going. Just then Locke pops up, to say that he asked Sayid not tell Jack what was up, because he wanted Jack to keep an open mind. "Open mind about what?" says Jack, but Locke just points through the trees, and the three of them continue on to the hatch excavation site. Jack's stunned. "My god. What is this thing?" Locke: "Exactly. I guess it's time we talked about that." Locke's all smiles, and you'd think that, considering everything that's gone on with Locke lately, he'd be just a titch less smirky.
Back at the raft construction site, Sawyer's asking Mercutio why Jin's packing a bunch of fish if they're heading out onto the ocean. "We can't catch fish?" asks Sawyer. Mercutio asks if Sawyer knows anything at all about surviving on the ocean. Sawyer's a little taken aback before asking if Mercutio himself does. Mercutio's response is that it doesn't matter, since he built the damn raft. Then he says maybe Sawyer's not the best person to go out onto the ocean with. "You're going to vote me off, Mickey?" asks Sawyer. Mercutio doesn't say anything, so Sawyer follows up: "And who the hell's gonna take my place?"
Why, it's Kate! She's burning the picture in a passport beyond any recognition when Sawyer stomps up, demanding to know what the hell she thinks she's doing. She smiles all innocently and says, "Sorry?" and he growls at her not to turn the "'oh, golly' eyes" on him. He says Mercutio told him she was jockeying for Sawyer's spot on the raft. She gets up to leave and says she was just asking questions; Mercutio must have misunderstood. Sawyer, though, ain't havin' it: he grabs her arm and hisses that he knows what she's up to, just like he knows why she wanted the Haliburton case, that she was the prisoner the U.S. Marshal was escorting. "Let go of me," she says, and shakes herself free. "Your only chance of running's getting on that raft, ain't it?" he calls after her, theorizing that after the rafters get picked up and rescuers come for the rest of them on the island, there's going to be a big ol' asterisk (which he pronounces "asterick") to her name. Is this a steroid thing, or is it because Kate played more games in a season than the Babe did? Sawyer tells Kate that her secret is safe with him, but there's no way she's taking his place on the raft. He turns to leave, but her anger turns to a smirk. "Hey Sawyer. I want your spot? I'll get your spot." Sawyer watches her leave, which really isn't the least enjoyable activity ever.
Back at the accelerated raft construction site, Walt tosses his dad a bottle of water, then sits down and asks Mercutio what he and Sawyer were arguing about. "Told him something he didn't want to hear," says Mercutio, sitting down to him. "Why does he want to get on the raft so much?" asks Walt, and Mercutio tells him it's because Sawyer knows it's going to work. Walt wants to make sure that once they get rescued, they'll come back for the rest of the lostaways. Mercutio, who a moment ago had no problem promising his son that they were going to be rescued, then warns Walt that it might be hard to find the island again, though he assures him that they will look. "But there's no guarantees. That's why you and me --" but we never get to hear the end of that sentence, because Mercutio suddenly starts grunting and wincing and clutching his stomach, crumpling to the ground. Walt starts shouting, and Mercutio stops puking long enough to tell his son to go get Jack. Commercials.
“ Tom's on the phone with 'Adam,' either looking to score some weed or to get some time with the MRI machine as a favour for a friend of friend. Probably the latter; the former might have been me, looking for something to take the edge off the growing annoyance of this show going nowhere. ”
Turns out Walt was also born to run, as he's tearing through the jungle, coming upon Sun (note: she's holding a water bottle just like Mercutio's) and Kate, who want to know what the problem is. Walt explains that it's his dad. "His stomach is really bad." Sun's eyes widen slightly. Kate tells her to take Walt back to Mercutio while she fetches Jack. Only after she goes running off that she doesn't seem to know where he actually is, and decides that coming to a halt and screeching "Jack!" while the camera spins around her is the best option available to her at the moment.
The hatch. Jack wants to know how long Locke has known about it, and Locke says about three weeks. "You been out here for three weeks, digging this thing up, and you never told me about it," says Jack. "All due respect, Jack, but since when do I report to you?" says Locke. Good question. Jack shoots back with, "All due respect, John, but you lied." Sayid, taking this all in, looks at Locke like, "Oooh, snap." Locke asks how long Jack had the case of guns before the rest of them needed to know. "You used your best discretion, I used mine," says Locke. Jack's got no answer to that one, so he finally just asks how they get it open. This sets Sayid a-spazzin', surprised that Jack wants to open it. "I brought you here to talk him out of this insanity! Anything could be inside," he says, and Jack shrugs and says best-case scenario, there are supplies. Worst case, it's a shelter. Sayid says he can think of worse cases than that, and points out that there's no handle anywhere visible. "Could the reason for that be more obvious?" I'm wondering if he's going for something specific until he says, "Maybe it was never meant to be opened from the outside."
The trio are on their way back when they hear Kate's urgent shouting. She meets up with them, and tells Jack something's wrong with Michael, and everybody starts running back.
On the beach, Jack quizzes an agonized Mercutio on what he's eaten that day (fruit and fish), if he's drinking enough water (two or three bottles), and where he got that water (the caves, like everyone else). Jack tells him to stay in the shade and not move so much. Mercutio tries to get up, since he needs to get the raft ready to launch tomorrow. Jack says he knows, but insists Mercutio lie down. Kate, Sun, and Walt prepare to take over the ongoing caregiver role, and we zoom in on Kate as we get ready for another flashback.
She's in Tom's kitchen, looking at pictures of the man and his young family, while Tom's on the phone with "Adam," either looking to score some weed or to get some time with the MRI machine as a favour for a friend of friend. Probably the latter; the former might have been me, looking for something to take the edge off the growing annoyance of this show going nowhere. Tom gets off the phone, notices Kate looking at the photo of him holding his young son. "His name's Conner," he tells her, and Conner will be 22 months week. Kate says he's beautiful, which Tom attributes to Rachel. "Where is she?" asks Kate, even if the top she's wearing might cause Tom to answer, "Where is who?" Instead, he says Rachel's visiting her folks in Cedar Rapids and gets back on Sunday.