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In Vegas, Reynolds's wife Jennifer finds Theresa and is a total bitch about Patrick' chances, but Theresa handles her with surprising equanimity. Also, Brennan takes Patrick and Johnny to dinner with a bunch of other champion fighters who have been screwed at one point or another by Barry, with the idea of forming a separate association. Barry turns up to Patrick's hotel room and gives him proof that El Diablo not only threw the fight but did so at Brennan's behest, which THANK YOU for the vindication of my suspicions on the first point (and I give Stacy Keach a lot of credit for not buying into the hype of that moment). With the confidence of that win stripped from him, Patrick of course must fear for his life, but he's also apparently worried about his soul, as he goes to confession to make a clean breast of everything he's done during the run of the show. The sympathetic priest, however, tells Patrick that God is with him, which at least seems to give him some solace. Also, Stacy Keach counsels Patrick once again to pick his spots and wait for his moment, and assures Patrick that no matter what may have happened pre-fight, El Diablo was coming for him for real, and goes on that whatever happens, they're not letting this one go to a decision.
When the fight starts, as predicted, Reynolds dominates, knocking Patrick out of the ring in the very first round, and Patrick barely gets to his feet ahead of getting counted out. We also get an early indication that the ref is in Barry's pocket, but Patrick survives the round. In the second, however, Patrick starts to hit back, causing Reynolds to look slow, but although Patrick seems to win the round, Reynolds opens up a cut over Patrick's eye, as I must point out that I also predicted. In the third round, Reynolds starts off better, but Patrick's onto his rhythm by now and eventually knocks him down. The crooked ref stops the fight so the doctor can look at Patrick's eye, but luckily, the doctor is in Brennan's pocket, so the fight goes on. When Patrick knocks Reynolds down again, Reynolds barely struggles to his feet, dazed and disoriented, and after another barrage from Patrick, the ref is forced to stop the fight and call Patrick the winner. Afterward, though, Patrick can't remember who won, and even though he meets the press as the champion once again, it's a bittersweet ending with many questions for the future. Questions which, of course, to which we will never know the answers.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Patrick dreams of the end of the fight five years ago, interspersed with memories from the rest of the season. We see both Reynolds and Patrick looking extremely unsteady, and when Reynolds is declared the winner by split decision, Patrick loses consciousness and falls to the ring floor...
...and then he wakes up to hear Katie calling insistently for him. When he comes into the hall, she hugs him and cries, "He hurt you! He hurt you!" and she begs him incessantly not to go for about sixteen years and oh, GREAT, could there by a cheaper way to shorthand the reservations everyone has about this fight than giving Patrick's young daughter a nightmare? Lame. So, so lame. And that's the whole cold open! God, how I won't miss this show. Credits.
At the gym, Stacy Keach is shadowboxing in the ring when Patrick appears, dressed up in a sport jacket, and asks what round they're in. Stacy Keach tells him it's the seventh, and "he's" punched himself out, and Patrick gets in the ring with him for some synchronized boxing as they move in for the kill. Patrick keeps punching in earnest as Stacy Keach goes on that Patrick will have worked Reynolds's body to the max, and "kill the body, and the head will fall." Just chopping it off seems more efficient, but I'm guessing that's against the rules. Johnny then rings the bell, announcing his presence, and Patrick smiles that they should get going. Johnny affirms that the limo is outside, and then tells Patrick that he went to the city the day before and "everyone" is talking about the fight. It's probably unseemly to opine that that sounds like how "everyone" has been watching this show, but with a line like that they were kind of asking for it. The good mood is dampened somewhat when Patrick announces the news that the girls will not be joining them, as "they don't need to see this." Well, it won't stop Ava and Daniella given that they watched the El Diablo fight on TV, but it's better than him explaining about Katie and her STUPID NIGHTMARE so I will take what's given. The Leary men head out, with Patrick stopping to take a long last look at the gym...
...and then we cut to Vegas, where Reynolds is speaking to reporters outside the hotel about how Patrick's been playing "Mr. Mom" for the past five years and all of a sudden thinks he's going to "Riverdance" back and take Reynolds's belt. Faith and begorrah, it's because he's Irish! Reynolds goes on that he'll knock Patrick out in the first round, and just then, Patrick pulls up and Riverdances out of the limo and into the hotel while Stacy Keach stays to talk to the press...
...and soon after, in the room, Patrick is watching Mikey Fumbles tell Stacy Keach about Reynolds's vow to take Patrick down in one round, and Stacy Keach replies that no one does that to Patrick, not even with a bat. That dentist from the pilot should certainly know. Patrick then hears a knock at the door and tells "Johnny" he's coming, and then there's a more insistent knock, which anyone who's ever watched TV knows means it's not who Patrick thinks it is, and sure enough when he opens the door it's that guy who's Brennan's muscle and whose overacting gets more and more irritating every time I see him. Lucky thing about that! The guy tells Patrick that Brennan would like to take him and Johnny out to dinner, and adds, "Why don't you put on something nice. I'll wait." The scenery begs for mercy, and is rewarded with a cut...
...to the interior of some restaurant that's empty except for Brennan and his party. Brennan comes over and welcomes Patrick and then leads him farther in, and Patrick is surprised to see several other boxers in attendance (including four world champions, according to Johnny; I'm assuming they're from various weight classes, obvs). Patrick starts glad-handing everyone...
...while elsewhere, Theresa steps out of the hotel bar she's in (I'm assuming they're keeping her away from Patrick to avoid any distractions) to wrap up a phone conversation with Katie. Right as she finishes, Jennifer, Reynolds's wife, catches sight of her and approaches; after a little kiss-kiss, Jennifer takes a seat without an invitation and mentions the "training-camp celibacy" that's been forced upon her. Having seen her husband's body, I agree she has cause for complaint. Also, I would never have known if I hadn't caught her name in the opening credits, but Jennifer is played by Reiko Aylesworth, whom you might remember fondly from her days as Michelle on 24. You'll forgive me for not recognizing her sooner, given how much bronzer she's been wearing. My skin is hyperventilating just looking at her.
Back at the boxer dinner, someone's complaining that he took home less than a hundred grand from a two-million dollar purse on his last fight (mentioning Barry's son, and good job having brought him up several times and never producing him, show). He told Barry they were done, and after that, he couldn't get a fight, even in Europe. Another guy says that if they take Patrick and band together as "United Boxers, like Mr. Brennan talks about," no one will be able to stop them. Patrick doesn't even look surprised that he's the last to know about this as Brennan gets to his feet and speechifies about the fall of empires and whatever, and says that if Patrick joins with them, they could knock Barry out of the game for good. Yes, Patrick certainly has been one step ahead of Barry at every turn this season. Patrick says he wants ten percent, and after there's an extremely well-acted chorus of "Say what"s from the peanut gallery, he clarifies that ten percent off the top of every fight UB promotes will go to a boxers' health fund, to take care of their own. After a moment to consider, the sheep start clapping, and Brennan, whether he likes it or not, is forced to join in. Yay?
Theresa is just finishing looking at some video of Jennifer's son, and when that's done she asks how long Jennifer and Reynolds have been together, and the answer is three years, so HOW HAVE THESE TWO EVEN MET BEFORE? Theresa asks if she goes to Reynolds's fights, and she tells her she's been to the last six, but they're just over so darn quickly! Theresa tries to defend her man, but Jennifer amps up the bitchitude, saying that the last fight was so long ago and yet Patrick hasn't let it go yet. She does tell the truth in saying that after the scene in her restaurant, she told Reynolds he should just walk away, but when Theresa admits that it wasn't Patrick's best moment (REMEMBER WHO THREW THE FIRST PUNCH?), Jennifer, with a sugary smile, notes that he hasn't had a lot of good ones lately. God, shut up, Jennifer. You're making me want to root for Theresa and Patrick both. Anyway, Theresa, handling this better than I would expect of her or really anyone who can hear or read lips, cautions Jennifer that while Reynolds is one of the best fighters she's ever seen, so is Patrick, and she said a prayer that day for both of them. "You should too." Jennifer, however, instead of hearing this, jumps up to grab the check away from Theresa, the subtext obviously being that she's the one who can afford it. What's the female analogue of dick-measuring?
The morning, Patrick and Johnny are eating breakfast as Stacy Keach tells the former not to give this United Boxers bullshit any of his attention, which sounds like great advice on general principles, so the clarification that he doesn't need the distraction with the fight upcoming seems superfluous. Johnny points out that Brennan thinks they're with him, but Stacy Keach doesn't care, and besides, who's to say Brennan and Barry aren't in cahoots? By the way, we never will get a clear explanation for that secret meeting, but I have a feeling it was about the upcoming El Diablo revelation. And if not, who cares? Anyway, referring to the upcoming weigh-in, Stacy Keach tells his boys not to engage in any funny business. "We get in, and we get out." If that's his motto, no wonder his wife kept leaving.
Patrick weighs in at 209, and then Reynolds tips the scales at 225. The two of them then get in each other's face and have to be separated. Barry then asks the press for questions, so Mikey Fumbles, The Only Speaking Reporter In Not Just New Jersey But The Entire Country, asks Reynolds to elaborate on the double standard he claims is going on with this fight. Reynolds essentially says that since Patrick is white, no one cares that he's been accused of a bunch of serious crimes, but if the situation were reversed, everyone would think he's guilty. And while I'm not arguing the point, I do think it's valid to point out that the nickname "Death Row" seems to encourage that kind of thinking...
...but later, watching the broadcast on TV, after Reynolds goes on that Patrick isn't any kind of role model, Patrick concedes that Reynolds has a point, and I'm not giving him a huge amount of credit but it is nice to hear him admit that. Johnny starts to head out, but there's a knock at the door, and when he answers, it's Barry, a folder in his hand. He says he needs to talk to Patrick alone, and after Patrick nods his assent, Barry enters and Johnny withdraws. Turns out Barry's there because he heard about the meeting the night before, and he in the same sentence dubs the group the "Justice League Of America" and the "Boxer Rebellion," and man, I hope Reg E. Cathey soon gets work on another show I watch. Patrick points out that Barry has an option on his fight (his two, actually, but who's counting), but Barry tells him there won't be a fight - he's too slow to make up for a twenty-pound weight disadvantage, and Reynolds is going to kill him. Patrick, rather too conveniently, points out that people said the same about El Diablo, giving Barry just the perfect opportunity to ask Patrick why, if Brennan is so set on cleaning up the game, he made El Diablo take a dive in their fight. Patrick doesn't believe him, but Barry goes on that two weeks before the fight, ED committed statutory rape again, and Brennan cleaned up the legal mess and paid off the family in exchange for ED throwing the fight. I mean, I said it at the time, but how could no one other than Stacy Keach have questioned how easily Patrick took him, with compromised vision to boot? These people talk all the time about how dirty boxing is, yet no one even gave a passing thought to the idea of a fix? On top of that, we're twenty minutes into the last episode; we're barely going to get any kind of significant reaction from Patrick. Anyway, Patrick is still skeptical, so Barry tells him he doesn't really care if he believes him, as he doesn't have a chance against Reynolds regardless, but the contents of the folder, which he leaves, will back him up. After he's gone, we get this RIDICULOUS slow pan over to the folder, like, this is the SERIES FINALE and we've got a heavyweight championship here, and we're wasting time on camera moves that make it look like a paper folder is going to bite Patrick's hand off? GOD!
When we return, it's the morning and Patrick is looking at the contents of the envelope, like if he was going to wait that long I'm surprised he's bothering at all, but we see pictures of Brennan and El Diablo together in broad daylight, which I'M SO SURE. Patrick then puts on a recording of the end of his fight with El Diablo, which I guess he carries around for some reason, and watches it a few times before there's ANOTHER knock at the door, and if it weren't Patrick who never learns you'd think he'd go hide in the bathroom rather than answer. However, this time it's Theresa, and they're awkward around each other and she seems really nervous, and she comes in and chokes out the wish that he get home safe before handing him a promotional postcard advertising Reynolds singing with Jay-Z at his victory party. "They're underestimating you." Well come on, Theresa, you have to book these things in advance! Patrick, probably thinking about El Diablo, says he hopes so, and they share an awkward peck, but after Theresa leaves, Patrick follows her into the hallway and they have a long makeout session. Damn, you two, I know it's Vegas, but take it back into the room, huh?
Stacy Keach and Johnny are headed to the ring as the former gives the latter some orders regarding Patrick's pre-fight preparations, and when they reach their destination Johnny points out to Barry that they have a twenty-foot ring when the contract calls for eighteen. I would have thought Team Leary would have welcomed some extra room for Patrick to use in running away from Reynolds, but of course, given that we're halfway through already, it may not be an issue because we MAY NEVER FIGHT. I mean, given how much they treaded water through the season AND they advertised a "war," would it have been too much to ask for most of this episode to focus on the actual fight?
No, now it's time for church, as Patrick is confessing his seasonal sins, albeit in a far more general way that I think is the idea, to a priest. The priest sympathetically says it sounds like Patrick's had a heavy cross to bear, but Patrick tells him that's no excuse, and adds that the worst thing is that he asked his daughter to lie for him. All credit for coming clean, but...that's worse than breaking an old dude's wrist? Or a dentist's arm? Anyway, the priest tells Patrick that he's a good man, prompting a tear to run down Patrick's face, and after he gives him his penance (and again, I'm not Catholic, but it sounds pretty light to me; I think if Patrick had confessed the specific nature of everything he did he'd be saying a lot more Hail Marys here), he tells Patrick that God is with him, as he always has been. Patrick looks like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders, which is good, because he's got enough of an uphill battle ahead of him as it is.
After some official signs off on Patrick's gloves and the representative from Reynolds's camp essentially tells Patrick it's been nice knowing him, Stacy Keach goes over the strategy again, and we all know what it is at this point and they're going to change it on the fly anyway, so let's get to the part where Patrick confesses that Stacy Keach was right about the El Diablo fight. Stacy Keach, however, tells Patrick that ED is a psycho, and regardless of what he may have agreed to beforehand, when he got in the ring he was trying to kill Patrick. Whether or not that's true, it's a decent angle to take, and since Stacy Keach doesn't know about it, I'll throw in the part where Patrick did beat that MMA guy, which was pretty damn impressive. Patrick doesn't lose the hangdog expression, however, so Stacy Keach grabs him by the shoulders and tells him something else - he has to take Reynolds down. No decisions. Patrick perks up at that, and then Johnny enters and tells them it's showtime, and if you weren't convinced that a six foot five inch man should never wear a newsboy cap, you should be now.
There's some bullshit going on in the ring as Patrick and his team walk down the halls, but finally, they come into view of the crowd, which cheers at his intro. From the ring, Patrick gives Theresa an encouraging smile, and then Reynolds comes out. The two of them get rid of their robes, and after the ref gives them his spiel about the three-knockdown rule being in effect (i.e., if you get knocked down three times in the same round, you are history), the two of them touch gloves and head back to their corners for some last-minute advice...and then the bell rings and the fight is on, at Minute 33 of the last episode, FINALLY. Reynolds charges Patrick and quickly starts landing blow after blow, and when Patrick tries to tie him up, the ref yells at him that there's no holding. This continues in the same vein for a while, with the lead commentator opining that it's a great start for Reynolds and a terrible one for Patrick, and after Patrick gets Reynolds up against the ropes and ties him up for the fifth time, the ref literally tries to pull him off, like (a) I think that's beyond his purview, and (b) that's a good way to like, DIE. He issues Patrick a formal warning before telling him once again to box, and after Reynolds lands several more blows he knocks Patrick through the ropes and out of the ring. Patrick is very slow to get up, so over the ropes, the ref starts to count him out, but Patrick happens to be right to Mikey Fumbles, who echoes his sentiment from several episodes ago that Patrick never quits. This seems to give Patrick enough motivation to roll back into the ring and get to his feet, and given that the ref is in Barry's pocket I'll opine that that was a pretty generous count there. After the ref is satisfied that Patrick is okay to go on, Reynolds advances again, and when Patrick ties him up, Reynolds pushes a forearm into his throat, which the commentators note is illegal. However, the ref yells not at Reynolds but at Patrick for holding, and then Patrick trips getting out of Reynolds's way but the ref rules it another knockdown and gives Patrick a mandatory eight-count, which frankly he looks like he could use, but as I mentioned earlier, another knockdown and the fight is over. Brennan points out, for the benefit of the slow class, that Barry has the ref, and then Reynolds gets Patrick into a corner and starts beating the crap out of him, but just as it looks like Patrick is going to lose his feet for the third and last time, the bell saves him. Not that, from the look on his face, he sees it that way.
When we return, it's still the break, and Stacy Keach asks Patrick if he wants him to stop the fight, like, apparently Stacy Keach has not inspected his bank account lately. Patrick, however, is more up on such matters, and as such tells Stacy Keach he wants to continue, so Stacy Keach tells Patrick to take control and surprise Reynolds. It seems apparent that he's changing the strategy (a) because of the crooked ref's refusal to let Patrick tie Reynolds up, and (b) the fact that there's no way Patrick can take even one more round of the punishment he's receiving via the original plan. Despite that, however, the second round starts pretty much where the first one left off, but after a bit of that, Patrick comes off the ropes and lands the best punch he's thrown so far, catching Reynolds flat-footed, and they look far more evenly matched as Patrick presses his attacking strategy. In fact, at one point Reynolds resorts to tying Patrick up, and after the commentators make note of the fact that the ref is allowing this, they speculate that Reynolds put out so much energy in the first round that he doesn't have much left.
Despite the fact that the ref continues his shady behavior, Patrick continues with his new tactics, and he clearly ends up winning the round, with Reynolds looking fairly dazed by the end. Not so dazed, though, that when his wife yells at him to get off the ropes, he doesn't fix her with a "You want to get in here and do this?" look. Heh. By the way, I don't want to forget to give credit where it's due, so let me say that as it has consistently been during the run of the show, the fight choreography has been superb, as has the camerawork in the fight scenes. Really impressive stuff. In the Leary corner, Johnny is working on Patrick, as he's got a cut above his eye OH WHAT A SURPRISE, prompting Brennan to tell his muscle to go inform the doctor that this fight does not stop. Stacy Keach counsels Patrick on how to turn the fact that Reynolds will be going after his eye to his advantage, and then, after Patrick gets to his feet and exchanges a meaningful look with Theresa, it's on to Round Three...after a commercial break.
When the round starts, Reynolds warily circles Patrick rather than charging him like he did in the first two. He does get Patrick up against the ropes and manage to land some shots, but Patrick responds with a stunning blow and then baits Reynolds into coming for him again while he rope-a-dopes, and soon, Patrick lands a series of haymakers that sends the clearly tiring Reynolds to the mat. The ref is slow to start the count but eventually has no choice, but then when Patrick starts hitting Reynolds hard again, the ref RIDICULOUSLY stops the action so the doctor can take a look at Patrick's now-liberally-bleeding eye. However, when the doctor of course clears Patrick to continue, the ref's hands are tied for the moment, but Stacy Keach urgently warns Patrick that the ref will take any excuse to stop the fight, so Patrick has to knock Reynolds out now. Patrick lets Reynolds throw the first punch so he can get an opening, and when he does, he comes in hard, and within five shots, Reynolds has hit the deck again, and this time he doesn't look at all like getting up.
However, after a couple aborted attempts, Reynolds gets to his feet at the count of eight, and it says something about how dazed he looks that the crooked ref asks him if he's okay to continue and actually seems interested in the answer. Patrick doesn't even bother protecting his face as he comes in, and after he gets Reynolds up against the ropes and lands several more shots with no hint of resistance, he asks the ref if he's going to stop the fight. Rather than let Barry's prize pig get seriously hurt in a lost cause and with him really looking like he's barely conscious, the ref reluctantly calls the fight for Patrick, prompting Team Leary to storm the ring and Ava and Daniella to celebrate, and even Barry to applaud the result. After embracing his family, Patrick holds up his belt in triumph as some dude in a tux literally carries Reynolds out of there in his arms, and all I can say is that's going to be one story to tell the drycleaner. Patrick opines to the press that Reynolds is a warrior, but with the cut, Stacy Keach told him he had to take him out. Stacy Keach also mentioned the crooked ref, but Patrick diplomatically omits that part. Barry and Brennan exchange a knowing? Respectful? Happy? look, and then Barry takes the opportunity to step in and tell everyone how happy he is for Patrick and his family...
...but later, after Patrick has cleaned up to the best degree possible, he looks in the mirror and then flashes to an image of himself fighting against an invisible opponent, and I didn't know exactly what that meant at first and as it turns out it was better that way. Because, after he wanders out into the hall and kind of stumbles cluelessly around for a bit, and by the way the acting from McCallany here is terrific, Theresa finds him and tells him everyone's waiting for his press conference, prompting him to ask, "Who won?" OUCH. After all my problems with this show, that one still got me, right at the end. The color seems to drain from Theresa's face, and Patrick looks like he's going to cry...
...but sometime soon after, presumably, the two of them appear, hand in hand, and find Johnny, Stacy Keach, Barry, and Brennan waiting. Barry leads them all into the press room and announces Patrick, who faces the cheering crowd...and that's it for Lights Out. Can't say I imagine there were many people reading these, but thanks to those who did all the same!
John Ramos is a writer and film producer living in Los Angeles. He writes about film and television on his blog "Pull Up A Chair," which he would just love for you to visit. Also, you can follow him on Twitter here, or get information about his most recent film "East Fifth Bliss," starring Michael C. Hall, Lucy Liu, and Peter Fonda, on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr.