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Daniella acts out at school, and after almost telling Theresa about the dementia, she spills the beans to Margaret, who's all, "And?" Patrick's eye hasn't completely healed, causing him to resort to shady measures to pass his eye exam; also, Stacy Keach is training the hell out of Patrick to the point where he's losing tons of weight and everyone, even Johnny, is concerned it's too much, but Stacy Keach tells Patrick he's going to need every bit of this conditioning in order to outlast El Diablo. And then? Theresa ends up coming to the fight, Patrick KOs ED in the second round, and Theresa and Daniella are like, "Boxing, yay!" It's…ridiculous. Well, except for the part where Stacy Keach tells Patrick he's still nowhere near ready to fight Reynolds, and when Patrick disagrees in favor of going for the ten million dollar purse, quits as his trainer. But essentially, everything's now great on every front, and seriously, we waited seven episodes for this?
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!We open with ED and Patrick in the ring; they stare at each other, the ref hilariously tells them to have a "nice clean fight," then the bell rings and ED, who's got a huge tattoo of a cross on his chest, comes straight at Patrick...
...and then we're in the diner, where Patrick is eating in a booth with...Reynolds. Well, that's unexpected, but it makes sense when Reynolds, after quoting some bit of philosophical wisdom, hands Patrick a folder that he says is his dossier on ED. Patrick asks why he's giving it to him, to which Reynolds replies, "We are all threads in the tapestries of each others' lives." I would have gone with "Because as I have said to your thick Irish ass in exactly so many words, I want to get back in the ring with you and settle our business once and for all," but I'll admit his sounds better. Reynolds goes on that ED doesn't deserve to be in the same ring with Patrick, and he doesn't know what Barry was thinking. Patrick, apparently not ready to think of Reynolds as an ally, asks why he doesn't just ask Barry, since he's his "guy," but Reynolds, not without amusement, tells him that Barry is Barry's guy and no one else's, and adds that no one will remember Barry's place in history, but they'll remember the rivalry between the two of them. Well, if you do say so yourself, Reynolds. Patrick, continuing to be unimpressed, merely replies, "Take care, Richard," prompting Reynolds, after a long look, to put on his shades and get out of there. Patrick watches him head into the opening credits...
...and then he's at the gym, taking off his shirt and weighing himself. Geez, Patrick, if you want results I'd get on the scale before the lumberjack breakfast. He has to cover his bad eye to read the thing, but then records his weight at 208 on a log taped to the inside of his locker, and I cannot believe they didn't take the opportunity also to have a picture of his family for him to sigh over in there. That is a pleasant surprise, by the way. Oh, also, it looks like 208 was his target weight from the way that number is written in large red numerals on the calendar, so kudos to Patrick for training all those extra pounds away. I doubt that'll help if he's still seeing like Mr. Magoo, but it's a nice achievement on its own merits.
Stacy Keach then comes in and says Margaret told him about Reynolds being in the diner, and Patrick hands over the file on ED, prompting Stacy Keach to inquire about Reynolds, "What's he, J. Edgar Hoover now?" HA! That got me off on the idea of Reynolds dressing up as a boxing slut to gather information on an unsuspecting ED. I have no doubt he'd bring fierce undercover realness to the situation. Stacy Keach then says they should get in the ring, and they don't have time for head games...
...but Patrick has no choice in the matter, at least in a way, since his vision is still going bazoo. As Johnny plays with Dylan on the sidelines, Stacy Keach barks orders at Patrick, but then Dylan answers the gym's phone and tells Patrick that it's Theresa with an emergency...
...and then he, Theresa, and Daniella are in with the last's headmistress or principal or whatever, who tells Patrick and Theresa that one of their teachers noticed that a girl in her class was drunk, and when the teacher asked the girl where she got the alcohol, she blamed Daniella. NARC! See if Daniella hooks you up again! Apparently, though, Daniella supplied a bunch of classmates, and the headmistress (it sounds scarier) produces a hairspray bottle that Daniella sullenly admits contains peach Schnapps. Ick. No wonder they told on you, Danni; that stuff is disgusting.
Patrick asks her what's going on, but she doesn't respond, and then the headmistress asks her to wait outside; when she's gone, the woman offers that this behavior is entirely out of character, so...any trouble at home? Theresa and Patrick gape like beached fish for a moment, but Patrick offers that he hasn't been home much lately..."because I've been training," and I wasn't raised Catholic but I wonder if telling half-truths to a nun is something you have to bring up in confessional. The sister says that ordinarily, she'd suspend a student for this, but she'd like to give Theresa and Patrick the chance to handle this themselves. Boy, it's lucky Daniella's been such a goody two-shoes up until now. I bet Ava would have been tossed out for a month without even a parental meeting. Theresa assures the sister that she would not BELIEVE how handled this is going to be...
...and out in the hallway, she tells Daniella that she's got the attention she wants, so what the hell is up? Daniella doesn't deign to reply, so Patrick starts in, prompting Daniella to ask sardonically if they're a team now. Theresa asks if she's been drinking, getting this snide reply, "That's your department, Mom." Okay, maybe I decided I hated Daniella too readily. Patrick tells her to go wait in Theresa's car (which must magically unlock when a Leary taps on the door) but Theresa, who it's only just become apparent is in scrubs, says she has to get back to the hospital. Patrick counters that he's got his physical, leaving Daniella open to snark that they don't need to worry, she'll just hitchhike home. Heh.
Patrick, however, probably realizes this is an opportunity to score some points with Theresa and says he'll drop Daniella off, so Theresa thanks him and runs. When she's gone, Patrick tells Daniella she needs to pull herself together, as she's supposed to be his good girl, and wow, I cannot imagine a dumber thing to say to her. She replies that she's doing whatever she wants, just like everyone else, and before I decide I hate Daniella again I will at least do her the favor of rewatching this whole exchange.
The doctor has come to Patrick's motel room, which seems odd for more than one reason, and in answer to his question, Patrick tells him he's been KO'd once in his career, adding that it was a short count. The doctor notes with some surprise that Patrick is twelve pounds lighter than when he last competed, adding that most boxers come back heavier, but Patrick tells him how Stacy Keach wanted to train him like he's twenty-two again. The doctor's like, okay, sure, and tells Patrick to eat, sleep, and hydrate more before adding that his brother tells him ED is a beast, and Patrick will need his strength. There's no particular indication to back this up, but given that Patrick once mentioned Brennan's brother and they seem to have cast two similar-looking actors, I'm going to assume that's who we're looking at until I learn otherwise.
Patrick, a little too eagerly, asks if he's cleared to fight, and the guy tells him that he still needs an eye exam. Patrick tries to say he doesn't want to miss any more training, so if he could just sign off on that, but the dude is quite clear that Florida law requires the exam to be administered by an ophthalmologist. And Patrick, I know you're a fighter, but I hope I don't really have to explain the logic here.
Patrick is reciting what sounds like a mnemonic (maybe to keep his memory active?) as he runs, and when he turns into the parking lot, he sees Brennan getting out of his car. After a mention of Patrick's car being in the shop, Brennan uses it as a metaphor to suggest that Patrick is perhaps moving a bit too quickly with his choice of opponent here. He goes on that sometimes a father training a son isn't ideal, as it's hard for the former to see things clearly, and honestly this scene is ringing a bit false to me, since I can't believe Brennan thinks Patrick, given his financial situation, would back away from this fight no matter what Stacy Keach said. Anyway, Patrick tells Brennan that while he'll get his cut of the purse, he's still supposed to be a silent partner, and Brennan at least doesn't contest the point.
Margaret shows up to Stacy Keach's house, and despite the fact that she's bearing his dinner, he's instantly suspicious she has an agenda, which she admits - she thought Patrick looked a little thin to Reynolds. Instead of addressing that, however, Stacy Keach takes the opportunity to ask why she let Reynolds into the place, which is kind of hilarious. I mean, he's the reigning heavyweight champion of the world and his nickname is Death Row. I know she grew up in Bayonne, but I still think he'd be a little much for her to handle. Stacy Keach then gets back to her point and says he's got to train Patrick as hard as possible to make up for all the time he spent away from the game, and adds that Patrick passed his physical, but Margaret snorts, "Pop, they'd clear you to fight if you wanted to." Given what we saw of that medical exam, I'm not sure I can bring myself to disagree. Stacy Keach, however, opines that Patrick being in the gym is the best thing for him, given his family situation...
...which brings us to a quick shot of a conflicted-looking Theresa as an ovary warbles on the soundtrack. We then see Patrick returning to the motel, also looking fairly forlorn, and then Ava comes in to see Daniella and gleefully orders a double. Heh. Daniella doesn't look up from her book (The Invisible Man. Oh, show), but Ava, after reveling in Daniella's newfound rebelliousness for a moment, drops the smile and inquires what's going on. Daniella petulantly asks what she cares, but we don't get to hear her answer, because Theresa calls Daniella's name...
...and then we cut to the dining-room table, at which Theresa asks her again what her damage is, saying she can't help if she doesn't know the problem. Daniella, however, spits that she won't do anything anyway, and calls her out for not even acknowledging the obvious fact that she and Patrick are separated. Theresa starts to say that things are in flux, but Daniella goes on that the lack of discussion of family issues has been constant - for example, she doesn't even know if "Grandma Leary" is alive or what happened to her, nor do they ever see Theresa's "family in England." Well, I guess they had to give a story nod to Theresa's accent, but since she wasn't in the original pilot I'm guessing this was mandated by practical considerations rather than anything they felt was organic to the story. Theresa starts to say it's not a good time to discuss all that, which again seems like the exact wrong way to handle this, but Daniella whine-shouts the question of when it will be a good time, and after a long pause, Theresa asks what she wants to know. Well, she did just put two rather large questions on the table there, Theresa. I took the time to recap them, so you could at least pay attention.
Instead of pushing those subjects, though, Daniella asks why Theresa is "letting" Patrick box again, and whines that if he fights, they're going to lose him, but Theresa firmly tells her Patrick always gets back up. Daniella takes a long pause during which I'm sure she's considering telling Theresa about the dementia, and honestly if she's going to do it that it does seem like now is the time, but she once again backs off. Theresa encourages her to come clean if there's anything else bothering her, but Daniella keeps mum, so Theresa tells her she loves her and heads upstairs. I hope you at least locked the liquor cabinet there.
Patrick weighs himself on the motel room's old scale (you'd think he'd only use the doctor's-model one at the gym, but I give points for the fact that the thing is chained to the sink) and comes in at 204, and given that he said earlier that the bottom for his class is 200, I can see why Margaret is worried that he's being overtrained. This is even with clothes on, here. Patrick's cell then rings, and it's Theresa, who says she got his letter and the ticket he sent, which brought back a lot of memories. Patrick asks if she'll come, and upon getting a decidedly equivocal reply, tells her he hasn't had a fight without her in fifteen years, and begs her to attend. She resists, but not especially convincingly...
...and then he's sparring. After Patrick dodges a blow, Stacy Keach tells him that's the idea. "I want you to be a ghost!" Given the opponent, perhaps not the best turn of phrase there, Stacy Keach. Anyway, Stacy Keach is happy with how things are going until Patrick doubles over with a head rush, and in case the implication is unclear, once again, he's been losing too much weight. Stacy Keach tells him to get back at it, even refusing his request for water, but after Johnny tries to step in on Patrick's side and Stacy Keach tells Patrick to finish the round, Johnny rings the bell, at which point Patrick gets back down on one knee and starts panting in earnest. Johnny pulls Stacy Keach aside for a chat, but on the way, Stacy Keach implacably tells Patrick that he needs to get in shape, and I'd like to think Patrick has a snappy comeback for that one, but with the way he's sucking wind it's a moot question.
In the office, Stacy Keach barks a "What!" at Johnny, but Johnny is unbowed, telling Stacy Keach that Patrick is so devoted to him that he'll go too far. "Do you want him to win?" Stacy Keach tells him of course he does, but right now he's in training, "and if he's not suffering he's not doing it right!" If that's also his theory about relationships, I can understand why we've never met Mrs. Stacy Keach. Johnny still is of the opinion that Stacy Keach is overtraining Patrick, but Stacy Keach counters that Johnny's the one that overmatched him, and without this level of training Patrick won't stand a chance. By the way, Stacy Keach adds, it's Johnny's fault that Patrick is in such a financial hole that he has to take this fight, and Johnny at least owns that he effed all that up, but tells Stacy Keach he's "screwin' up the boxer" -- which Patrick enters just in time to overhear. Off his questioning look, Johnny asks if he's ready for the eye exam...
...in which, with his good eye, Patrick reads off two of the more difficult lines correctly, at which point the doctor has him switch over. We see that he has trouble even with the easiest size, but he's got something up his sleeve, as he tells the woman he's in kind of a hurry, so could they just skip to the last line? Presumably not expecting any trickery (although given the stakes you'd think she might be hip to this sort of thing), she tells him sure, and when she puts it up, he starts murmuring that same mnemonic to himself -- which just so happens to be words whose first letter is the one on the chart. So...he somehow found out the chart she was going to use before the exam, and then only bothered to memorize that last line? I...never mind. Not worth it. The subterfuge works, and she signs off on his apparent twenty-twenty vision. And if you think it's ironic that Patrick had to rely on his compromised memory to cover for his failing eyesight, you're not the only one.
Patrick turns up to Stacy Keach's and finds his father watching tapes of ED, again. Stacy Keach tells him that he's totally dirty, and will try to get on the ref's blind side, so Patrick will need to take care not to block the ref's line of sight. Patrick's only half-listening, but Stacy Keach gets his attention by, rather surprisingly given the familial lack of communication Daniella bleated about earlier, asking if Patrick heard what he and Johnny were discussing. Patrick admits that he caught a bit of it, so Stacy Keach tells him that he is not overtraining him -- no one has ever knocked ED out, but Patrick is going to have to.
He urgently tells Patrick that he's going to need at least eight rounds before ED starts to wear himself down, and even at that point, his chances to take ED down will be very limited. Patrick is intimidated by the assessment, as he points out that means taking a lot of dirty shots, so maybe if he sees an earlier opening? Stacy Keach tells him he'll do the thinking, but Patrick's "Right" has a bit of a tone in it, prompting Stacy Keach to ask if Patrick thinks it's his fault that Reynolds took his belt, and even though Patrick doesn't say yes, Stacy Keach explains with some regret that he was worried, both about the cut by his eye and how much gas he had left. "I've thought about it a thousand times." I'm guessing that's a low estimate. Patrick, without rancor, says he knows, but his point is that he can take ED. Stacy Keach says he knows he can, of course, but the pull-out to a two-shot to end the scene emphasizes the idea that he's not saying everything he might.
Miami! Everyone's assembled for a press conference in what looks like the lobby of a beachfront hotel, but Patrick is off in the bathroom slugging water from the sink, like I know the doctor said he needs to hydrate more but surely they have some bottled stuff on hand...oh, I see, they're weighing in, and I guess Patrick is worried he's underweight. Jesus, putting someone who just dropped fifteen to twenty pounds in against ED seems crazy. Train as hard as you want, but eat the calories to make up for it, guy. Outside, Barry wonders where Patrick is, and murmurs to Stacy Keach that in another few minutes, the rules will allow him to dock Patrick twenty-five bucks for lateness. It's a ridiculous thing to say, especially given that Barry has an interest in Patrick, but it does set Stacy Keach up nicely: "I'll give you fifty dollars right now if you go to hell." Heh.
Patrick emerges, strips down to his shorts, and gets on the official scale, and the reading is 201, so from what I saw him guzzle he definitely needed the liquid help to make weight. ED, in a ridiculously incongruous red Speedo, then tips the scales at 218, which is a CRAZY weight advantage, seriously. ED then kisses his biceps like a total cheeseball before pointing a machete at Patrick and saying he'll kill him, and when even Barry is like, "Um, let's take it down a notch" you have to wonder if this guy is fit to be out of prison. They move in close for photos, but when ED makes a suggestive comment about Theresa, Patrick shoves him, and Barry has to intervene to prevent an unscripted remake of his earlier publicity stunt from going down. They establish, in no uncertain terms, that the fight is tomorrow...
...which quickly becomes today, and Stacy Keach wraps Patrick hands as an official-looking dude looks on. Margaret comes in to tell Daniella it's fight time, but Daniella and her whiny voice tell Margaret that she's not watching, and by the way, boxing's barbaric. Hilariously, Margaret tells her not to be ignorant, and goes on that fighting is noble when done right, and she comes from a long line of "gentleman fighters." Finally, though, Daniella blurts out the news about the pugilistic dementia. "He could die!" You know, it's been a little while but I don't remember the doctor saying anything about the potential consequences should Patrick box again -- that was all the way back in the pilot, when the possibility wasn't even on the table. Maybe she read something on line, but I find it weird that she keeps being all "He could DIE!" without even having heard a medical opinion of same. Agreeing with me, Theresa offers that people give boxers that diagnosis all the time, but Daniella SO WHINILY OH MY GOD says that he forgets things. Honey, I've never taken a real punch in my life but I am about Patrick's age, and guess what? IT HAPPENS. Margaret then asks if Theresa knows, and Daniella caws that no, she doesn't, and Margaret CAN'T TELL HER, like, real consistent for her to be so protective of this information now. Margaret is like, whoa, honey, don't blow a gasket, and then sits on the bed and tells her Patrick will be okay. "He knows what he's doing." She sounds, however, like some doubt has entered her mind...
...while the Boxing Commission guy (I'm guessing) is just now signing off on Patrick's taping job. Patrick asks Johnny to hang out for a moment before tasking Stacy Keach with going to watch ED's hands get taped. I guess he's afraid of the official watching that process being on the take; in any case, Stacy Keach goes to check things out. Patrick then dismisses the non-speaking extras, although I'm glad to see the Commission guy does linger across the room, and then Johnny sits down (the better not to tower over his brother) and starts stretching out Patrick's hands as he apologizes for causing him to be set up against this goon. Patrick, however, thinks it might be for the best: "If I beat him, I'll know I still have it." Forgive me, Patrick, but I think the question is what you'll know if you don't win. If anything. Johnny assures him he's still got it, but Patrick nervously reminds us all he hasn't fought in five years. Johnny, however, tells him he's been fighting all year, and the physical business he's doing of massaging his brother's hands really does add something to the scene. Johnny goes on that no matter what Patrick's been through, everything will fade away when he gets into the ring, because he's going home. Aw. I mean, ow, but also aw.
In the other room, they're just finishing with ED's hands, but Stacy Keach, in a voice that will brook no dissent, tells them to start over. I mean, I don't necessarily buy that ED wouldn't tell him to fuck his old ass off, but whatever, I'll still allow it. In his room, Patrick's punching the air when Johnny reappears, and the look on his face tells us it's showtime. "No fear," he intones, and he's definitely been redeeming himself lately but that's still EASY FOR YOU TO SAY. We get Patrick's brightly-lit POV as he heads to the ring, and then once he's in, we see him waving to the fans before taking in ED in the same shot that opened the episode. As before, the ref calls them forth, but when he sends them back to their corners, we see Theresa has indeed decided to attend, and she nods supportively at him. Stacy Keach then gives him some advice as he sticks in his mouth guard, and then we're on. Well, on into a commercial, but still on.
When we return, we see Daniella has also decided to watch, but the news to this point isn't good as the commentator says that with less than a minute to go in the first, it's been all ED. Back in the ring, Patrick tries to tie ED up and gets head-butted in reply, which opens up a cut over Patrick's right eye that SOUNDS FAMILIAR. On the sidelines, Brennan and his brother wince, and then ED comes in and starts punching away at the gash while at home, Ava finds it hard to watch and Margaret reassures her that Patrick's okay. We then see ED land what's politely termed a low blow but what on Twitter I've seen referred to as a "cockpunch," and even though I'd imagine Patrick is wearing a cup, the warning the ref gives ED still seems wholly insufficient punishment given the crime. The ref does also offer Patrick five minutes if he wants it, but he declines, so they're off again.
Patrick manages not to get knocked down for the round, but after the bell rings and he turns to head to his corner, ED gives him a late shot to the back of his head. From my point of view, it looked like only a glancing blow, but of course it's the thought that counts, and the ref has to hold Patrick back from charging ED. ED gets a one-point deduction as a penalty, which in my understanding of the points system is not insignificant, and then, in the corner, Stacy Keach counsels Patrick to stay away from ED as Patrick struggles to get his vision under control.
Patrick looks really out of it until he glances Theresa's way and sees her looking supportively in his direction, and he gives an answering nod...and, as soon as the round starts and ED charges him, he ducks down and punches him in the junk. Ha! I was not expecting that, and Ava and Margaret guffaw at home as Theresa nods approvingly and Barry and Reynolds look surprised. ED takes a good long while getting up off the mat, and even though he too declines the five minutes, Patrick looks emboldened by this success to the point where the commentators note that it "looks like a different Lights Leary." And I could drag this out, but from this point forth ED offers absolutely no appreciable resistance -- it's like all his mojo leaked straight out of his balls. Which, as I understand, can happen. Theresa gets to her feet and clamors for Patrick to finish him off (if you're going to come to the fight, might as well not half-ass it), and soon, Patrick obliges her with a haymaker that sends all consciousness from ED's eyes, as he falls back onto the ropes, which then pitch him forward and onto the mat. He twitches a bit, but there's no way, and the ref quickly counts him out. Everyone's thrilled, and Patrick raises his arms in triumph...
...and then later, still in the ring, Patrick is saying how thankful he is just to get back in the ring when Reynolds butts in and says that he looked good, and he proved that he's finally ready for a rematch. Barry just about babbles himself to death in anticipation...
...and then later, Stacy Keach and Patrick are packing up their gear when Theresa enters their ready room. She's like, you were great, tee hee, let's go home, and seriously, the first time I watched this I was wondering if it was all an extended dream sequence, because between how amazingly tough ED was supposed to be and how Theresa kicked Patrick out of the house over this fight, it can't all be this easy, right? Stacy Keach and his furrowed brow seem to be the only ones that might agree with me, as Johnny enters and jumps all six foot five inches of himself into his brother's arms, like, I hope his balls and kidneys have healed up.
They hug, and into his brother's ear, Johnny tells him Barry pulled him aside and told him there's ten million on the table, so he should call, but Patrick rehires him with a "You call him. See if you can get more." Johnny smiles, and tells them they should enjoy the hotel's best suite, which he got them on him. And when we cut to it, the room certainly doesn't feel like anything special, but I suppose the point is the thrusting Theresa and Patrick are currently sharing. , the Learys return home, and even Daniella's like, what pugilistic dementia, which sure, great, everything's rainbows and balloons...
...until Patrick turns up to the diner and hears Stacy Keach tell him he's not ready to fight Reynolds, especially since ED only giving him two rounds leaves question marks about his fitness. He goes on that Patrick's reactions were slow, and he's worried about him, but Patrick firmly tells him he's not waiting to fight Reynolds. In that case, then, Stacy Keach tells him he'll have to go it alone. "Good luck, son." He leaves, and Margaret watches from down the aisle as Patrick hangs his head...and we're out. And seriously, I can't believe Stacy Keach is the only one that thinks the way that fight went down wasn't one hundred percent inspiring (and by the way, it wouldn't surprise me to learn it was fixed, either), but I suppose everyone else was so focused on the fact that Patrick scored a lot of cash without getting hurt that they're blind to it. Regardless of the win, though, that was seriously unsatisfying from a dramatic standpoint. Anyway, see you time.
John Ramos is a writer and film producer living in Los Angeles. He writes about film and television on his blog "Pull Up A Chair," which he would just love for you to visit. Also, you can follow him on Twitter here, or get information about his most recent film "East Fifth Bliss," starring Michael C. Hall, Lucy Liu, and Peter Fonda, on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr.