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Let's meet Patrick Leary, better known as "Lights Out" or simply "Lights," a prizefighter who, five years ago, lost a big fight on a controversial decision, soon after which he retired at the behest of his wife. Now, he's living in a McMansion in northern New Jersey with the wife Theresa, who's in med school, and three daughters, running a boxing gym with his coach/father Stacy Keach and his brother/business manager Johnny, and finding that his name is no longer sufficing to pay the enormous bills he and his family keep running up. Things get worse when the IRS shows up at the behest of Johnny's bitter ex-wife, which means he's not going to be able to borrow any more money from this real-estate development they have going. However, Theresa certainly will not entertain any thoughts of Patrick returning to the ring, even though he secretly wants to, so Johnny tries to find him other work. All he can come up with, though, is a job for Patrick working as muscle for some Newark bookie, which goes bad when Patrick chooses to beat a guy who owes the bookie a lot of money up in front of witnesses. Also, he takes on some bar jerk in a street fight for cash, which signals both his growing desperation and his continuing desire to fight. So he's got financial pressures, a demanding wife to whom he probably can't come clean, and…I feel like I'm forgetting something…oh! He's got pugilistic dementia, which could lead to Alzheimer's. Sounds compelling, right? If only the writing and acting lived up to the premise.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!So! Here we are, with a show about a prizefighter. Just to head it off, obviously, there are many people who believe that boxing is a barbaric sport. I trust that those people are likely not actually watching this show, but regardless, you can take it on faith that writing about the show is not any kind of statement on the sport one way or another. (In other words, don't email me boxing-related rants.) However, also to get it out of the way, I must tell you that, at least as far as the first episode goes, my opinion is that the writing is lazy and the acting pretty unimpressive, so fair warning if that assessment is going to put you off. And now:
We open on an overhead shot of a beefy dude's face, which, as it happens, is swollen and covered in streams of blood that are dried to varying degrees, and while it's a jarring enough start, it certainly also seems like a quick way for the viewing audience to assess whether they can handle what this show is all about. After we linger on him long enough to ascertain that he is, in fact, breathing, we cut to a longer overhead shot from which we see him lying on a metal table, and given that he's shirtless as is standard for pugilists, I'd think that would feel really cold if, of course, he could feel anything at all at the moment. Also, his boxing trunks are green and there's a shamrock on them, and I have no idea what that means but I will certainly keep recording the clues as they're offered forth.
The unconscious boxer, by the way, is played by a forty-six-year-old actor named Holt McCallany, whose acting career has not managed to cross paths with my viewing history to this point but is certainly good-looking enough in a very bruiser-y way. A woman enters the shot, and when we cut to a close-up, we see she's played by British actress Catherine McCormack; she looks distraught as she tentatively touches his face, but pulls herself together when there's a knock at the door. A guy wearing a boxing jersey enters and asks "Theresa" if he should get the "doc," but she tells him they're fine, and after she repeats that assertion off his questioning look, he withdraws. Gathering her resolve, she grabs what I can only assume is a bottle of smelling salts or the equivalent and twists it under the boxer's nose. His eyes fly open...
...and then he's in a flashback to, presumably, the fight he just had against an African-American gentleman dressed in yellow trunks. Our Irish (wild guess) boxer clearly has the upper hand even as the guy who came in asking about the doctor and an old guy who just so happens to be Stacy Keach yell at him to protect his eye, and while this kind of violence generally doesn't force me to turn away from the screen like it does some people, I am rather squeamish when it comes to anything in the, shall we say, King Lear realm, so I can definitely say I'm behind these guys' advice. For now, however, such exhortations are moot, as our guy ("Lights Leary," as the commentators refer to him) has proceeded to beat the shit out of his opponent, locking him up in a corner and pounding until the guy seriously has a look on his face that could be used in a "Calgon, take me away" ad. Fortunately or unfortunately, though, depending how you look at it, the round ends, and after the other guy's trainer helps him stagger to his stool, Leary (well, his given name's "Patrick," I'm certainly not going to call him "Lights" or "Lights Out" or whatever else) heads to his corner, where Stacy Keach tells him he's ahead on points, so he should, essentially, box conservatively for the rest of the bout, staying out of the corners and off the ropes so, I presume, as to minimize his chances of his opponent getting in position to knock him out. Patrick thinks the guy is ready to fall, obviously intimating that he wants to go for the KO, but Stacy Keach (well, he's his father, you'll find out soon enough) snaps that he should just box. By the way, despite his dominance in the last round, blood is flowing freely from a cut over Patrick's right eye, so that advice regarding it, it seems, was not idle. And we're far from "vile jelly" territory, but let's just not go any further there, shall we? Patrick gets up, but the image goes blurry...
...and then reforms, and we see Catherine McCormack STITCHING UP THE CUT IN CLOSE-UP, like, show, didn't you hear what I just said? All right, I guess it wasn't technically his eye, but a needle so close to it is, well, too close for comfort. Obviously having done this before (we'll learn why later), she finishes that errand and then uses her thumbs to probe his face for, I'm guessing, any breaks in the bone as he sits, dazed and confused, and not in the good way. She then checks his pupils with a penlight before he finally speaks: "I got robbed, Theresa." Well, that's confusing. I thought all this was from the fight. Theresa somewhat impatiently says she knows (and this of course means, despite his unconsciousness, that the fight was settled by decision and not by knockout, because otherwise there wouldn't be any possibility of "robbery"), and when he tries to tell her he's fine, she counters that he blacked out. She puts an icepack on his cheek as he somewhat distantly claims "the ring was crowded," and I'm not sure if that's a bit of boxer jargon or if he's just babbling nonsensically. Seeming to favor the latter, Theresa tells him he has a concussion, but he assures her, "I got a hard head." It's no "You should see the other guy's fist," but at least he's got a sense of humor about it. She snarks that she knows that too, and goes to get something else to treat him, but when he mumbles that time he won't give the guy the chance to steal the fight, she does not want to hear about any time, pointing out that he could have died out there. And while I'm not a big fan of people invoking the specter of Death haphazardly, she's got a pretty strong case here, helped by the fact that when he says he's okay and tries to hop off the table, he loses his balance and almost collapses to the floor, necessitating her rushing over and helping him back into a sitting position. He tries to joke, "Good catch," but she isn't having it, her British accent coming out as she telling him she can't do this anymore, and his daughters miss him. She goes on that she loves him too much to watch him die, and I realize the stakes are high but her acting is a bit unconvincing here and as such is coming off melodramatic. (That assessment is probably not helped by my already having seen the whole episode.) She settles down, though, to give him this ultimatum: "Either you stop, or we stop." He foggily regards her...and then we get the Lights Out title card, with a boxer's shadow and people cheering on the soundtrack. Yeah, we'll see about that.
When we return, we're looking down a long driveway at a McMansion and a chyron that informs us it's "Five Years Later." We cut inside, and the only thing that distracts us from the tacky-assed architecture is the lip-smacking on the soundtrack that's turned up to eleven, like, if this is what we're hearing five hundred yards from the bedroom I can only imagine at least one of the participants spent the past five years out at sea. Whatever the case, though, after we pan past some art that's basically on the architecture's level and some family photos showing Patrick, Theresa, and their three daughters, we hear Theresa repeatedly urging Patrick, presumably, not to stop, like, I know his mind's probably a little addled from the boxing but I'm sure other parts of his body have no intention of desisting. At least, that is, until one of the girls comes to their door and calls for Theresa, asking if it's morning yet and pointing out that the sun is up. Patrick suggests she go back to bed, and she somewhat sleepily accedes to his request, but no sooner have the parents resumed thrusting than the alarm goes off. Patrick knocks it off the beside table in order to silence it, and since this is a sports show it seems fitting for me to tell you to mark that down on your scorecard as the first of many hopeless clichés we'll have on tap for this evening's entertainment.
The second comes in quick succession, as the phone rings (I won't score every instance in this entire sequence as a separate entry, but the "couples repeatedly interrupted while trying to Do It" TV idea needs to be given a Rip van Winkle's nap-length rest), and Theresa and her bizarre accent (seriously, there's no indication the character is supposed to have come from England, but if she's this bad at doing an American accent she shouldn't even try) feel compelled to answer, as she's "on a new rotation." After a quick exchange, she tells Patrick she has to go attend to the victims of a "three-way crash," but he's not psyched for her to leave, and I'd imagine that coupled with the need to get his rocks off is a fervent wish not to be the only male in the household for all eternity. A shot of Patrick's bare ass lets us know that he has not stopped working out in the time we missed, and then, after he collapses onto the bed and Theresa scurries around for a bit, he tells her he'll make breakfast for the girls...
...and then we cut to him pouring some pancake batter from a bowl out onto the stove's grill, like, as if you're going to make pancakes from scratch on a rushed weekday morning, guy. Oatmeal I could just barely buy. The two sisters we haven't met yet, both significantly older than the third (I'd put one in high school and one in middle school) come sweeping down the stairs on a wave of teen-speak I'll be happy enough to ignore, and the older one asks Patrick for forty bucks for after-school coffee, since she claims it's her "turn to buy," but the younger one blows up her spot and says it's for a bikini wax before asking for money to buy a new biography of Eleanor Roosevelt. Okay, older one, sexy liar, middle one, goody nerdshoes. Got it. Patrick gives them both the requested money, which makes me think he does not pay much attention to the nuances of his daughters being girls, and then they rush out the door without waiting for the pancakes to be ready. If TV characters listened to me, they would lead much better lives.
Sometime later, Patrick is running on his treadmill at a nice clip, rattling his nearby trophy case as he goes, and his sweaty tank suggests he's been at it for a good while. He has a few quick flashes back to the fight, and his running gets more intense as a result, but presently, his youngest daughter's voice cuts through the haze, and he kills the machine and greets "Katie-bear." She tells him she's hungry, so he goes to see what can be done about that. Well, I know some pancakes that didn't get eaten! However, Patrick apparently lost track of time, because when he glances at the time, he seethes, "Oh, shit!" prompting an overacted yet still amusing gasp from his daughter. He apologizes, and they go rushing out of the room...
...and then they're driving in what looks like an old Ford sedan, like, their house is fugly but it was surely also expensive, so you'd think he'd have a bit sweeter a ride. This isn't even good on an ironic level. Katie is singing "Frère Jacques," but on the second line, instead of "Dormez-vous?" she sings "Do re mi," which I would loosely classify as a hate crime...
...and then Patrick's rushing her into a class that's already in session, and from the uniforms and the fact that the teacher is just asking the kids what they gave up for Lent, we can come to the conclusion that we are in a school of the Catholic persuasion here. Patrick hands the (male) teacher a plastic bag and apologizes for their tardiness, taking the blame, and the teacher's like, "Chill, I can't say I even noticed," so Patrick bails, leaving the teacher to take out the contents of the bag, which proves to be some autographed boxing gloves. The teacher doesn't go jumping for joy, but wait till he prices those things on eBay.
Theresa and her mind-bending accent are in scrubs and on the phone, and I guess the idea is that Patrick doesn't normally take Katie to school and he "forgot," which, I'm guessing, WILL BE IMPORTANT LATER. Theresa then asks if his brother is sending "the tuition check," which is severely clunky, but otherwise we wouldn't know what the woman who appears chasing after Patrick like a street fundraiser is on about. Patrick bravely runs away from the woman and her financial demands...
...and then we get a quick montage of some local sights and Patrick driving and looking around. What's the Irish version of "keepin' it real"? He then arrives at a boxing gym, fist-bumps a couple guys on his way in, and then stops to give a kid advice on how to work the speed bag, like, if he doesn't have that down at this point he should perhaps find another hobby. The speed bag is the training wheels of boxing; it's only going to get harder from here. Patrick pauses to give a couple guys sparring (one of them apparently is named "Omar," if the cries of "Get him, Omar" are any indication) in the ring an appraising eye...
...and then we cut inside the office, where the dude with Stacy Keach from earlier, who so happens to be "Johnny," Patrick's brother, is involved in a conversation that by all appearances is not going well. After Patrick enters, he tells the guy on the other end that their lawyers will have to hash the matter out in court, and then he hangs up and asks Patrick if he's ready for his "big interview." It'll save time if I put this out there, but Johnny is played by Pablo Schreiber, an actor about whom I had heard many good things but in this pilot is embarrassingly terrible. McCormack is, as I said, melodramatic and McCallany doesn't exhibit a lot of nuance, but at least they're trying; Schreiber, on top of being totally actor-y, seems like he's phoning it in from Moment One, which I guess at least fits with our introduction to him.
Anyway, Patrick snarks that he can't wait to find out what happened to him, prompting Johnny to reply that it's the fifth anniversary of the fight, like, that is not a natural thing to respond and is a good example of how lazily expository the writing is. Instead of leaving us to figure out the occasion for the interview (not particularly difficult given that we already know it's five years later), or to wonder about it and then telling us at a more natural time later (such as when the interview actually occurs) the show just dumps the information in our laps. I feel like it's reasonable to expect more from this network; this pilot exhibits a strong premise weighted down by a script that's verging on insultingly simplistic. Pursuant to that, Patrick asks about the check, and when Johnny says he doesn't have it, points out that he made thirty grand from a beer commercial, but Johnny says that was over a month ago. I won't do this with every instance of the lazy writing or I'd be here forever, but here's another instance; it's not logical for them to be having this conversation now; Patrick clearly already asked for the money, and from Johnny's reaction now there's no reason they wouldn't have gone over the financial situation when he did. I mean, I get that they're wildly irresponsible with money -- it happens with athletes all the time -- but it still makes no sense that this information wasn't already exchanged.
Anyway, in case it proves to be important, Johnny adds that the money went to pay Patrick's mortgage and the gym's debts, so, indicating a model of what looks like a yacht club, Patrick says they'll have to take some more out of "The Landing." Johnny, however, says that's impossible, as the phone call he got was from one of their primary tenants pulling out, and then they put all examples of over-exposition to shame as they exchange information they obviously would both already know. I mean, at this point they might as well start talking to each other about their family members like the other doesn't know them. "You, my brother, would not believe how hard it was when my mother was dying of cancer!" (I don't know anything about the mother, btw. But am I right?) Anyway, here's what you need to know: Patrick was heavyweight champion for nine months until he "walked away," he sent Johnny to business school so he could become his manager, the two of them are financially well and truly fucked to the point where Patrick takes down Johnny's diploma and smashes the frame in frustration, and Johnny actually addresses his brother as "Lights." !
Cut to the interview, where an interviewer named "Steve" (he looks familiar, like he might actually be an ESPN guy, but I don't watch enough sports to know for sure) is asking "Lights" if he's bitter about the fight. Patrick laughs and says he doesn't think about it too much, and instead of drawing attention to the fact that Patrick's pants have burst into flames, Steve further inquires as to who, on those incredibly rare occasions when the fight does cross Patrick's mind, he thinks won, and Patrick smiles that Steve saw the fight. "Who do you think?" Well, it's either the guy who passive-aggressively opines that he was robbed without actually saying it, or the other guy. One in two shot! Steve points out that even though Patrick's opponent ("Death Row Reynolds" is his name, and I am not kidding) began the last round still dazed from the shellacking Patrick had just administered, Patrick didn't go after him, and asks if he thought he had the fight won at that point. Patrick looks askance at the TV in the interview room, which starts to play, and we cut in close as we see the guy on the ropes and hear Stacy Keach yelling at Patrick to stay away from him, like, that's not very nice, Stacy Keach. I mean, sure he smells bad after eleven and a half rounds, but he has feelings, too.
Patrick talks some bullshit about how it does no good to second-guess the past, and then we cut to Stacy Keach watching and, one would guess, gnawing at the inside of his cheek in consternation at how he screwed the pooch on that coaching decision. Steve asks if that means he has no regrets about not trying to finish the guy when he had the chance, and Patrick replies that he "went out a champion," which I guess means that it wasn't a title fight but, you'll notice, DOESN'T ANSWER THE QUESTION, and then Patrick fumbles his way in with his arms laden with groceries, which is a noisy enough scenario that Stacy Keach is able to click off the TV without Patrick even noticing. Stacy Keach then asks Patrick what's up with "the monkey suit," and I guess it makes sense for him not to want Patrick to know he was watching the interview as it's likely not a comfortable subject of discussion, but it only emphasizes the point that we haven't heard any explanation or even speculation for why Stacy Keach made such a grievous tactical error in his coaching, which means the show is now throwing in parts that are underwritten to go with the parts that are overwritten. Auspicious start, really. Anyway, Patrick says he has a "gig" later and then asks Stacy Keach if he watched the interview, which only makes it seem like from his point of view there's no emotional problem, and at this rate I'm going to write twenty pages about what's wrong with this show, so let's move on to Stacy Keach lying that he missed it before asking why Patrick bothers doing those things anymore. Patrick says he needs to keep his name out there, but Stacy Keach asks what for: "You got enough, right?" Look, Stacy Keach, I can certainly believe you're unaware of the financial house of cards your sons have built on the unsteady foundation of Patrick's name, but the man owns a boxing gym. People come into places like that because of names like Patrick's, and names like Patrick's need to be promoted continually so they're not forgotten. It's not rocket science, Lord.
Patrick does not point this out, instead saying that Johnny thinks publicity such as today's might lead to a commentating gig, and Stacy Keach seems to accept that before "cagily" asking if the interviewer talked a lot about the last round of the fight, and now Patrick lies that it went by so fast he doesn't even remember. Wow, are the writing and acting unconvincing in portraying a real conflict here. Stacy Keach changes the subject and asks about the girls, and Patrick says they're "growing like weeds," which is not a thing that actual people say, ever. He then invites Stacy Keach over to the house for dinner on Sunday, but Stacy Keach begs off with something about the car ride being bad for his hip, and you can tell that they both know he's not being truthful, so I'm assuming he and Theresa Do Not Get Along. Patrick tries to tell him that it's only half an hour, and it seems clear he's referring to the drive, but Stacy Keach snorts, "Keep telling yourself that, kiddo," which sounds derisive but in reality MAKES NO SENSE ON ANY LEVEL. Jesus.
On his half-hour OR IS IT drive home, Patrick calls Johnny, not on a hands-free device by the way, and Johnny, sitting in his office in the dark for some reason, tells him he nailed the interview and that the whole gym watched. Patrick hopes that will lead to the phone ringing, but Johnny tells him the only offer they got is from some ticket broker in Newark who wants to hire Patrick as muscle. Patrick scoffs that he's not a thug, but Johnny says it's not like that - some dentist who's a sports buff owes the broker money, and the broker thinks that sending Patrick over will impress him, or something. It doesn't sound like a convincing plan, but it would pay fifty grand; nevertheless, Patrick orders Johnny to tell the guy to shove it up his ass, which even using large bills would be quite a feat. Johnny assures Patrick that something good will come along...
...and then we're with Patrick at his "gig," which is...calling Bingo numbers someplace. It seems like a fairly high-end establishment, which does not fit with my concept of Bingo in any way, shape, or form, but regardless, some dude in a suit calls Bingo and comes up to turn in his card, and then Patrick tries to warm up the crowd by saying he had a dog named Bingo when he was a kid, like, at least say that Bingo was his name-o if you want the room to react, guy. After examining the card, though, some Asian dude who is apparently the judge informs the guy one of his numbers was never in fact called, and the guy loudly calls out "Bullshit," which is, of course, just the sort of lovely, classy reaction you'd expect in an expensive...restaurant? Private club? No idea where we are, no idea why an aged boxing star is calling numbers, no idea why Bingo even exists, etc. Anyway, the guy claims that Patrick said his number, and a bunch of people around him murmur agreement, and I think the show is trying to paint Patrick as forgetful again, but I don't understand how that means he could have said "fourteen" WHILE LOOKING AT A BALL WITH THE NUMBER FIFTEEN ON IT, nor is the Asian guy's contention that the number was never called consistent with that having happened, so seriously, show, can you work on maybe one scene making some narrative sense? Patrick then suggests to the guy they take a picture together, and the guy gives him a well-deserved WTF-times-a-million look in response...
...and then later, the Asian dude is writing out a check for Patrick as Patrick tells him that "it" isn't that big a deal, so...is he now saying he did fuck that up, and the Asian dude covered for him? None of this makes any sense, but the Asian guy tells him he's sure he's right, and even though this line was delivered in a more bored than snide manner, Patrick has to get all "I don't like your tone" about it, but the guy is singularly unimpressed, asking if he's going to beat him up before handing him the check and suggesting he tell Johnny there won't be any more favors coming. And after that sequence that was edited down to the point of making no sense, we then spend a full five seconds watching Patrick's back as he walks out of the place. I cannot BELIEVE Terriers couldn't make it on this network.
Theresa arrives home and, when Patrick points out that she's home late, breathlessly tells him that she was out celebrating with "some of the other fourth-years," like, I know they have a nanny but don't married people with kids check in with each other when they're going to be unexpectedly late? Whatever, as a gay man I'm not supposed to understand this institution anyway. Patrick informs Theresa that Katie was up when he got home because the nanny let her watch the interview and she saw clips from the fight, which upset her. Thankfully, this does not turn into a big thing, and it turns out Theresa had good reason for celebrating, as she got her first choice for residency, although the fact that she got such big news makes it even more bizarre to me that she didn't, you know, give her husband a call to share it with him. She thanks him for everything he's done for her and adds that she'll finally be able to contribute financially, as residents get paid thirty-four grand a year, and I wonder what she'd say if she knew that her husband could make more than that in one night by going to some dude's house and looking tough. They toast wordlessly, and then...we're out of the scene? Where's the emotional turn? Good God, this show.
The day, Patrick's on the phone with someone who asks for his SSN, and he cannot dig it out of his memory on the fly, which frankly is a lot tighter a way to convey he's having problems with dementia than that goddamned Bingo scene. He gives up and asks if he can provide it the day, and on hearing an apparent affirmative, confirms that his appointment is at ten a.m. before inquiring, "Do I have to fast or anything the night before?" Just so you know I'm not entrenched in the negative, that was a tightly written scene, which gave some information but also led me to want to know more. Of course, it only lasted twenty seconds, but hey, it's progress!
Patrick wanders into the gym and sees Stacy Keach holding pads for some dude in the ring. Patrick asks if someone's in with Johnny, and Stacy Keach replies, "I tell you, Omar here is the real deal, he don't stop," like, first off, way to allude to a sensitive subject for your son that you yourself caused, and on top of that, I HATE HATE HATE when people on TV ignore a direct question like that, and as Stacy Keach has done that twice in two scenes so far he is verging on becoming dead to me in the first twenty minutes of this series. Patrick then sees a young boy who tells "Uncle Patrick" that he shouldn't go into Johnny's office until "the men in suits" leave, so Patrick peers in and sees two guys disappearing stage right with some garbage it looks like they're repossessing, and after Johnny kicks a chair (Whoa, guy. WHOA!) in frustration, Patrick enters and asks if another tenant's pulling out. Johnny tells him he wishes it were only that -- they were IRS. "Don't worry, champ, I'll take the hit." I do not know what that means, and neither does Patrick, so Johnny spells it out: He's been taking care of Patrick's many expenses, including the gym, which he dubs a "sinkhole" in spite of the fact that it makes their father happy; he also lists Patrick's house, Theresa's medical school, and the girls' expenses before telling Patrick that essentially, he "borrowed" money from "The Landing" to cover Patrick's obligations, and Johnny's apparent ex-wife "Cindy" "dropped the dime" on him because she's in "scorched-earth mode," and I'd like to put forth the supposition that this Cindy is in "scorched-earth mode" because of Johnny's propensity to use expressions like "dropped the dime." However, in Johnny's defense, unless I misunderstood, Patrick was advocating doing the exact same thing with respect to Katie's tuition, so I guess it's consistent that he doesn't seem morally outraged or even surprised, but he does ask how bad it is, and Johnny does THAT THING I HATE SO MUCH when he non-answers that the irony is, he doesn't even like blondes. Hey, Alanis Morrisette isn't a blonde -- maybe you should give her a call and discuss irony.
Johnny tells him the Feds can't take his house as long as he's living in it, which is true, I think, as long as he continues to make his payments, which I'm guessing is no small matter. Johnny goes on that he covered the girls' tuition out of his savings, which should "piss Cindy off," like, if divorce proceedings have been initiated I'm pretty sure you're still going to be on the hook for that money, guy, but it's true I didn't go to business school. Patrick proves he doesn't quite understand the concept of "scorched earth" when he points out that by bringing the IRS in, Cindy will end up with less, but Johnny sighs that it's also "the kid," like, what parent wouldn't refer to his child by name except the biggest of d-bags, and explains that she's going for sole custody, "not that she even likes Dylan." He assures Patrick he'll get them out of this, but Patrick is like, "No. Don't," which I guess the show thinks sounds good but then what is his plan, exactly? Right now, it's to exit the office and snap at Dylan when he asks him if he'll teach him how to fight, but Patrick only gets a few steps away before turning back and apologizing, saying that he's "a little caught up with things right now." Dylan asks if that's like his dad is, and Patrick acknowledges that before making a date with Dylan for Sunday morning. I don't mean this in a snarky way, Patrick, but you might want to write that down.
Patrick gets into his car and has another quick flash to the fight; after taking out a bottle of pills from the glove compartment and popping one, he gets a bunch more quick flashes, and before you know it, it's night and he sees Stacy Keach coming out of the gym. Stacy Keach gets in the car like he was expecting Patrick to be there even though it's clear hours have passed, which I guess shouldn't surprise me at this point but even after all these years nothing hurts me quite like bad TV that thinks it's good. Cut to them driving, and Stacy Keach is still on about that stupid boxer, but Patrick tells him he needs to talk to him, and what does Stacy Keach do but IGNORE THAT IN FAVOR OF GOING ON ABOUT HIS STUPID PROTÉGÉ, although we do get the information that Johnny used to box as well, so Patrick has to ask him if he knew the IRS was in there earlier. This at least gets Stacy Keach's attention, and he gravely gives his son some good advice as he says he's seen the IRS come after fighters all his life. "You don't play cute with them." Thank you for that, Stacy Keach, but when he tells Patrick to pay whatever they say he owes, Patrick has to admit that he's broke. Stacy Keach is shocked, and asks how, but Patrick can only sigh, "I don't really know." Okay, we're getting somewhere; they could have cut out ten minutes of bullshit but stuff is starting to get marginally real. Pursuant to that, Stacy Keach blames Theresa, saying that while he loves her, "there was big money on the table and she took you out of the game." Patrick's answering silence suggests that he doesn't entirely disagree, and he then notes that things were a lot simpler growing up. They drive on into the night...
...and the morning, he's asleep with his head on the kitchen table for some reason when his bikini-waxing eldest daughter arrives home. He tells her he was waiting up for her, like, if something actually had happened to her it's nice that you were ASLEEP ALL NIGHT, but she reminds him she told him she was staying at a "Jenny's." I was worried that she was taking advantage of his memory issues here, which would be meaner than I'm comfortable with but I could totally buy. However, she has the technological goods to back up her statement, as she produces her phone and points to her call log as evidence that she called him a little after eleven and they agreed it was too late for her to drive home. He gruffly dismisses her and then asks the middle sister, who appeared at some point, what the older one is up to, getting this response: "Don't ask, don't tell." I wouldn't have transcribed that, as bad a line as it is, except it gives me an opportunity to LAUGH IN JOHN MCCAIN'S FACE HA HA HA RETIRE ALREADY YOU CRAZY RELIC. Theresa comes downstairs and tells Patrick that she just heard from Jenny's mom, who was under the impression that the girls were staying with them. Oh, snap, "Ava," you are in up to your bikini wax. Or not, as they seem not really to care, but Theresa suggests he talk to Katie, as she's still freaked out about the fight and wondering whether "Reynolds" is okay. Poor girl.
Sometime later, Johnny is in his car but is actually using a headset SEE THAT PATRICK, is telling his brother that he spoke with a guy who used to work for the IRS, and his advice was to show them they have a plan to pay what they owe and they'll move on. Er, did you disclose the actual amounts involved to this dude? Not to mention I'm looking forward to hearing said plan, what with your balloon payment coming up (this was mentioned earlier) and tenants pulling out left and right. Regardless, Johnny assures Patrick he's going to make everything all right, and Patrick says that's great as he looks out the window at his family getting into their Mercedes SUV, like, wake me up when shit actually starts going down here. Johnny then adds that he told the dude from earlier that Patrick was turning his offer down, and in response he raised the offer for Patrick's cut to fifteen percent, which if you're keeping track would be seventy-five grand. Patrick does flinch this time, but says no once again...
...and then he's turning up to the hospital for his appointment. Cut to him getting a CAT scan as he recites Hail Marys, and then later, the doctor is telling him that he's got chronic traumatic encephalopathy, or as it's more commonly known..."pugilistic dementia," Patrick supplies. Yikes. The doc goes on that his symptoms could lead to Alzheimer's in as few as two years, but it also might never come to that. As we intercut with a shot of Patrick watching Katie get out of school, he asks what happens if Alzheimer's does set in, and he's told he can expect disorientation, memory loss, anxiety, and loss of body control. Katie then gets to the car and gives her father an expectant look, and he tells her, referring to the fight footage she saw, that they have some serious talking to do, but first, they're going to get ice cream. Hey, that may be out of an old playbook but it still holds up. After a quick shot of them in the ice cream parlor (no one says that anymore, right?), they arrive home, and as Katie starts to run into the house, she tells him they're good, but he calls, "Hugs and kisses?" and she turns back: "Kisses and hugs." Aw. After they have their moment and Katie heads inside, Patrick calls Johnny and asks what he has to do. Johnny has some reservations having to do with involving his brother in something shady and his competence at actually pulling off the job, but Patrick won't be denied, so Johnny tells him this is a one-off, and that he's better than this. After they disconnect, we pull up to an overhead shot, from which we can see that Patrick is still on his knees from talking to his daughter, which metaphorically might be A BIT MUCH. I'm surprised they didn't have him stretch his arms out to the sides when he was lying on the CAT scan table.
So Patrick comes into the living room to find Theresa speaking in hushed tones to the wayward oldest daughter Ava, and a dude who was involved somehow in her night out, "Brent," who was mentioned in the last scene but as part of a convoluted and boring explanation, so I skipped it. Whatever, they're teenagers, and Theresa says she gets that but trust is important to her and Patrick, as Patrick looks like he wants to take out five years of inaction on Brent, while Brent looks like whatever he ate for lunch might momentarily be coming out one end or the other. Theresa tells them that the "family motto" is "trust or bust," which is totally lame and also I don't really sense that you trust your husband very much, and finally Ava notices the beams of death that are threatening to burn Brent to a crisp where he stands and tells Patrick to stop it. He kicks Brent out, after which Ava tells him she hates him and departs as well, and I don't have much sympathy for the fickle sensitivities of teenaged girls, but for someone worried about being branded a thug that was some awfully intimidating behavior there, not to mention the part where it trampled all over Theresa's attempt to handle the situation...
...but we have other thuggery to attend to, as Patrick has arrived at the house of the dentist he's supposed to be shaking down. As it happens, the guy has people over for brunch or something, and is regaling them with an incredibly dickfaced story about smashing a bouncer's face into a windshield on behalf of his "wingman" who was getting kicked out of a bar, which he says cost him "a night in the tank" but was worth it, punctuating his assholishness by fist-bumping one of the other male guests. One, ugh, and two, SUPER INTERESTING CHOICE to make the guy Patrick has to shake down a complete turd of a human being. The doorbell rings, and when the guy answers he's at first impressed to see who it is, but is taken aback when Patrick invites himself in...
...and then Patrick's at the table eating and making everyone kind of uncomfortable with a speech about breadwinning and blah, like, I know you're trying to make a point about your situation but WE GET IT and THIS IS DUMB. It's not helping him achieve his goal and I don't buy that he would do it, not to mention the guy apparently HASN'T EVEN ASKED why Patrick is there...
...but thankfully, we cut to sometime later, where in the dude's office, Patrick tells him he needs a half a million from him. Once the guy ascertains that he's not joking, he figures out that Patrick is working for Brennan and can't believe he's stooped so low, and then takes a bat off the wall and tells Patrick to get his "broken-down ass" out of his house. Patrick is unimpressed by this jerk, as well he might be, but he's not there for violence, it seems, as he starts to head out quietly enough, although not without mentioning that Brennan may not take this so lightly...
...and then he's in a bar having a drink, where the TV just so happens to be playing the interview again, and considering it's already been aired once that we saw the coincidence is yet another bridge too far for me, but at least we get to hear some more of it this time, as Patrick asserts that while Reynolds was a warrior in the ring, "he knows who won," and then goes on to say that despite his happiness with his life now, he sometimes misses hitting people. Well, you did just have a golden opportunity. Some jerk then tells the bartender "Enough of this asshole!" and the bartender flinches and apologizes to Patrick, who tells him it's okay and starts to settle up, but the d-bag, who apparently still hasn't seen Patrick, goes on to fist-bump one of his friends that Patrick's wife is "a choice piece of ass," like, shitty writing rears its ugly head again, as this is two opponents in a row the show has painted with a degree of nuance generally reserved for cartoon characters and silent-film villains.
Anyway, when Patrick rounds the bar, the fist-bumpee at least looks abashed, but when Patrick magnanimously says not to worry about it, the d-bag belligerently asks why he would worry about it, and seriously, I have met a lot of assholes in my life, but none so stupid that they would not be scared of a beatdown from a FORMER HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION. Jesus. Patrick still almost gets out the door, but the guy is all, "Told you he was half a fag," like, I don't even know what that means and also I'm so sure you happened to be talking about him at some earlier point, but the guy truly is begging for it. Patrick, however, merely wishes him good night...
...but then, in the car, he takes a cigarette from behind the sun visor and lights up...
...and then he returns to the bar and asks the jerk, "How much money you got?" To not kick the shit out of him, I guess? I wish everyone on this show weren't so classy. It's an intimidating bar being set.
At the house, Ava comes into Patrick's office and apologizes for her behavior before asking him to give Brent a chance. Patrick gives a speech about people who tell lies doing it to "hide themselves," like REAL INSIGHTFUL, guy, and then tells her how much she loves her. She gets a little embarrassed and changes the subject by asking what happened to his hand, which is currently soaking in a bowl of ice water, and he lies...I mean, "HIDES HIMSELF" by saying he hit the heavy bag too hard, and I guess either the guy didn't willingly pay up, or maybe they bet on the outcome of their fight, but either way this is feeling a LITTLE on the nose, and I'm not talking about the jerk in the bar. The phone then rings, and Patrick tells Johnny he'll never do that again, which Johnny says is too bad since the dentist made good on his debt. For all Johnny's seeming reluctance earlier with his "You're better than this" business and his assertion that he was going to make everything right, he tells Patrick that there are no other moneymaking opportunities, like, way to do an exhaustive search and give up in TWO WHOLE DAYS. Patrick hangs up...
...and then apparently flashes back to what happened at the bar, as in fact, they did bet money and go out to the parking lot for a fight, and it turns out that the jerk played left tackle for the Giants and has a hundred pounds on Patrick, which certainly is quite significant but that still ignores the fact that BOXING IS A SKILL, and he goes on that "to make it fair" he'll give Patrick the first punch, like, I think this guy's insane already but if he thinks Patrick can't knock him out with a free punch he's got whatever the football equivalent of pugilistic dementia is. Patrick apparently agrees that that would be too easy, as he merely stands and waits for the guy to land a solid blow to his gut, but after the guy's friends congratulate him, we switch to the guy's POV, and Patrick comes on like a Mac truck and his fist flies into the guy's face. Sleep well, douchebag.
Sometime later, Patrick shirtlessly sits up in bed, and then he flashes back to the conversation with Katie we didn't see. The non-linear progression is designed to emphasize his LIES, because as he tells Katie he doesn't hurt people anymore, they intercut further footage not just of him kicking the football player's ass, but also him twisting the bat out of the dentist's hand and doing something very damaging to his arm in front of all the guests. After a quick flash to the Reynolds fight, we see Patrick take his money for knocking the football player out...
...and then back in the present, Patrick lumbers downstairs to find his wife drinking wine and attitude, as she snits, "Something you want to tell me?" I suppose in this case, however, she has reason to be upset, as when she flicks on the TV, we see Reynolds and his promoter "Barry Ward" giving a press conference announcing a rematch with Patrick six months hence. Patrick tries to tell her he knows nothing about it, which is obviously true, but she and her RIDICULOUS ACCENT call bullshit and tell him she will NOT go through this AGAIN, like, fine, honey, but be sure to keep those principles when you're living in a boxcar. After Theresa's stomped upstairs, Patrick clicks the TV back on for a moment and then calls Johnny, who's back in the same diner we saw him in earlier, like, are times that tough that this is your new office? He asks if Theresa's pissed, and upon hearing she is, pointedly tells Patrick, "You beat someone up in the ring, at least it's legal." So...he knows about Patrick beating the dentist up, but didn't mention it earlier when he referenced talking to Brennan? Johnny tells him the purse would be ten million, but Patrick hangs up on him...
...and then the day, he's teaching his nephew some boxing as promised. He's good with the kid and they have some fun until Dylan requests a break, and, as much to himself as the boy, he stresses the importance of breathing. He says it again, this time only to himself, and we're out. I will say I've seen the second episode already and it's an improvement, but still, this show has far to go before it's anything I would watch without getting paid for it. We'll see how things go.
John Ramos is a writer and film producer living in Los Angeles. He writes about film and television on his blog "Pull Up A Chair," which he would just love for you to visit. Also, you can follow him on Twitter here, or get information about his most recent film "East Fifth Bliss," starring Michael C. Hall, Lucy Liu, and Peter Fonda, here.