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A storm's a-brewin' in Portland, and I'm not just talkin' 'bout the weather. Cate hits the ground running when she proposes to Ryan (he accepts) and asks Lux to be her Maid of Honor. She makes a quick call to Abby, who naturally assumes that MoH duties are reserved for the sister. To break the news that she's been bumped, Cate makes a surprise appearance at Abby's yoga class and finds Baze engaged in a suspicious downward dog. She intuits that he is the "mystery man" her mom said Abby's been seeing and flips out. Abby's plus-one invite to the wedding is hereby rescinded. Cate tries to run away from her problems by suggesting she and Ryan elope on the coast that very night. Since he, too, is unexcited about his crazy relatives making fireworks on the big day, he agrees. They book a hotel and a minister for the morning. And then the storm hits.
Cate heads over to Baze's loft to pick up MoH Lux. Except she's not there. She's gone to Jones's house for a party and overreacted epically when she saw Jones kissing another girl (after she full-out rejected him not five minutes before, mind you). Ryan picks up Lux, and they take shelter in the radio station because the storm has knocked out the power and forced road closure. Lux shares her life story (Too! Many! Flashbacks!), and Ryan diagnoses her almost crippling fear of rejection -- he's seen plenty of it in her mom! Speaking of, the fit hits the shan at the loft when Cate and Abby have it out and Cate lets it slip that she never really wanted Abby as her MoH in the place. Baze kicks Abby when she's down by breaking up with her via the first -- and worst -- lie he can muster. He tells Abby he can't date her because he has feelings for Cate. Of course Cate hears this and freaks out. It's her go-to response. Baze ultimately comes clean to both sisters, though Abby suggests there may be more to his fib than he lets on. For her part, she admits that she may have been bedding Baze as a way to get to Cate. Long story short, she felt pushed out when Cate got knocked up and started distancing herself from everyone. With all this mess out on the table, the whole gang gathers together for an unnaturally joyous liquid brunch, in which Cate and Ryan announce their nuptials will take place in two weeks. Everyone's invited. So bring it, suckas.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: The family endured an intense therapy session that simultaneously ripped them apart and brought them closer together. Lux, too, was torn between Bug and Jones. And Baze tore it up in the bedroom with Cate's sister Abby before deciding to give monogamy a shot. Now there are pieces aplenty to pick up on all fronts.
It's a particularly dreary morning in Portland, and a storm seems to be a-brewin'. Luckily, Cate and Ryan are uncharacteristically lying in bed, happy as clams, and listening to a repeat of their show in the background. Across town, Baze wakes up to find Abby moving some of her stuff into his sock drawer. Premature much? He pulls her back into bed, mainly to avoid getting girly panties mixed up with his boxers. Meanwhile, Cate brings Ryan breakfast in bed. Or, should I say, a proposal in bed. He agrees to marry her. Again.
Westmonte. Jones is giving Lux the silent treatment after the dance debacle. He's pretty worthless at it, though, because it only takes about two sentences from her before he's inviting her over to a party he's throwing that night, since his parents have left town. He snarks that she should bring her boyfriend, because it's been too long. Honestly, he's being a pretty good sport about the whole thing.
Back at the house, Cate and Ryan look at a website that espouses to simplify the wedding planning process with an easy (250-item) checklist. Ryan is surprised that Cate's getting into the whole bride thing. She says she's turned over a new leaf, and it's a sign of her commitment. She scans down the list to see the check for "Choose Maid of Honor." She wonders if Lux will say yes. I wonder what her floozy of a sister will think getting snubbed for the newbie like that. That afternoon, Cate's dolled up in the dress from the wedding expo as she asks Lux to be her MoH. Lux is honored by the request. Cate moves on to whether her dress might have bad mojo.
Before Lux answers, the phone rings. On the other end is Abby, bitching that Cate has kept her out of the loop with her many engagements, un-engagements, and re-engagements. Honestly, I'm barely in the loop, and I write this crap down. So don't feel so bad, sister who only shows up to make horrible decisions and give dreadfully awkward sex talks. Abby whines that she heard the news in a voicemail from their mother and that it's like they're not even sisters. Cate says she heard Abby's been "shacking up with some mystery man" of late. Lux takes that as her cue to exit as fast as humanly possible. Cate extends the offers that mystery man can be Abby's plus-one, and Abby sidesteps that disaster-in-wait by saying she'll probably be too busy with her Maid of Honor duties. Cate grimaces as Abby starts planning the bridal shower.
In her presumptuous planning frenzy, Abby snatches Math's breakfast right out from under him, shoots him a shit-eating grin, and heads into Baze's room. Math loudly mocks Baze for wearing a Kabbalah bracelet, which apparently Abby said was the "new LiveStrong." Baze tells Math to keep it down. Math shoots back that it would have been useful for Baze and Abby to do the same the night before: "It sounded like cats drowning... more cats!" Heh. Side note: Shouldn't Math, Cate's ultimate defender, be a little miffed about this whole Baze-Abby thing? It's so obviously rife with inevitable conflict only a dolt like Baze and a selfish hag like Abby would fail to notice it.
Cate tries to break it to Abby that she's already asked Lux, but Abby keeps machine-gunning along until she says she has to go and hangs up. She asks if Baze is joining her for yoga. He is. Math also finds this suspect. They make it to yoga class, of which Abby is instructor. In Baze's "I'd tap that" keg shirt, it's worth noting. Abby serenely talks about sending out good intentions -- hers were to meet a man, and she has -- as Cate runs in mid-tizzy. On cue, Cate clocks Baze with her yoga mat and wonders aloud why he would be there. As she rolls out her mat, she looks at Abby and notices something is amiss. She asks Baze, "Don't you have that same shirt?" Then she notices the Kabbalah bracelet. She puts it together instantly and her stage whispers build to a full-on shriek as she accuses Baze, "You are the guy my sister's sleeping with?!" Cut to nasty looks from the no-longer-tranquil yogi. Credits.
We return to yoga, where the yogi hit downward dog and Cate packs up. Abby approaches to avoid a scene. Good luck, sister. Cate mentions the obvious that Baze effs up everything he touches, and asks how long they've been sneaking around. Baze tries to dance around the truth, but oblivious Abby comes out with it that they first slept together after Winter Formal and have been every day since. Cate is hurt that her kind gesture (Zima!) was sullied by Baze's man-whoring. She asks how she's going to explain it to Lux, then ascertains from their uncomfortable looks that Lux knows. Cate says it's no wonder Lux doesn't respect Baze if she knows he's having some sort of "gross, pseudo-incestuous fling with her aunt." Abby argues that it's not a fling, then shouts at the class to get in plank position (why the hapless yogi are still listening her and trying to find their inner peace with this scene going on, I don't know). Baze throws it in Cate's face that she's always telling him to grow up. He says this is his (poorly conceived) attempt at that, and Cate can't complain just because she doesn't approve of the person he's chosen. Now really, can we consider having a secret affair with your baby mama's sister growing up? Adding insult to injury, Baze tells Cate to deal with it and proves that, though it's never a shock, he really is a world-class ass-hat. Abby shoots wounded-looking Cate a steely stare.
That night, Lux finds herself in a game of Suck & Blow at Jones's party. Très Clueless! Jones pulls an Elton and removes the card from his lips before passing it Lux, forcing them into a lip lock. She asks what that was about since he knows she's with Bug. He admits he still has feelings for her but promises to back off. She tries to leave, but he convinces her to stay.
Meanwhile, Cate and Ryan are both sampling many "flavors of dysfunction" (© Tamra Barney 2010), and let me tell you, their families offer a real smorgasbord. Cate is arguing with her mother about Abby's place in the seating arrangement. Ryan has a creepy uncle Walter and a bad memory of turducken to contend with. The storm knocks out their reception and they collapse onto the couch together from the stress of it all. Cate rattles off all their family issues and gets swept up in the notion of running off with Lux and eloping immediately, if not sooner. Ryan is game. Impressive, considering the ringer Cate has put him through. Though I suppose there literally isn't one more thing she could screw up, so now's as good a time as any.
Cate starts making calls to book their rooms at a bed and breakfast on the coast that can marry them the morning if the weather permits. Ryan's excitement builds as he packs. Cate heads off to collect Lux from Baze's while Ryan offers to finish packing. It seems painfully obvious this arrangement should be the other way around, but then we wouldn't have the anvilicious drama to come, now would we? The soon-to-be-newlyweds share a kiss filled with hope as they part ways. Hold on to that memory, kids. Tonight could be a real doozy.
Back at Jones's, Lux is wandering around in search of a bathroom. Instead, she finds Jones sucking face with some random on his parents' washer. She overreacts, yelling, "Oh my God!" before running out of the room. Jones follows her and spells it out that she straight-up rejected him and therefore he had no reason to wait around, nor did she have any reason to be hurt or think he was trying to make her jealous (by discreetly making out in a room where he could have never expected her to walk into, mind you). But then he loses it by taking the low road and sticking it to her: "It's not like we're going to Winter Formal later, and I just slept with someone." Oh, Jones, why'd you have to go there? The facts stood for themselves. Lux didn't have a leg to stand on in making this all about her, and you just gave her one. Party foul, buddy. Jones wonders why she's so upset, but she screams at him and storms out... into the storm. From the frying pan into the fire, as they say.
Baze's. The roof is leaking, the guys take the opportunity to express their unhappiness with Abby's sudden move-in as they put down pans to catch the drips. Baze assures them it's no different from his other girlfriends who spent the night, but the Jersey Shore marathon on the DVR begs to differ. Math finally gets to the point I expected him to make a while ago -- Baze's decision to date Cate's sister is not only stupid but possibly cataclysmic for the long-term possibility of success in this weird little family he's got going. On cue, Abby walks in and tells Baze she changed her relationship status online and needs him to confirm. A split-second later, Cate comes in from the maelstrom. She barely acknowledges Abby, save a snotty look, and says she's here to pick up Lux. Baze tells her Lux is out, and Cate grows increasingly frantic as the news reports about road shutdowns make it clear she is not getting out of town tonight. Baze wonders why she's so worked up, so she spills that she and Ryan are eloping. Baze looks confused, incredulous. Says Math, "You can't. We're stuck." Then the power goes.
They light candles as Cate bitches about being trapped -- and with no phone service, at that. She says it's all Baze's fault, and he takes it in stride because she has clearly hopped aboard the crazy train at this point. Abby barrels full-speed into the most contentious subject possible, saying she would have never gotten married without Cate. Math takes that as a cue to ask the guys to come "look for a leak" he hears somewhere else in the loft.
Meanwhile, Ryan has rescued Lux and taken her with him to the radio station, saying it was lucky Jones lives so close that they could take shelter. Lux sits down at the mic, and he "interviews" her about what's getting her down. Lux lays out what happened with Jones, saying she doesn't know why she got jealous. Ryan jokes that she's a chip off the old block for her "irrational, inexplicable jealousy." She affirms that she's with Bug and wants to be with him. She gives their back story: They've been together, on and off, for a couple of years. Tasha introduced them, and he five-finger discounted a Slurpie for her on their first date. Ah, ragamuffin teen romance! Lux throws in her background with Tasha, now with more flashbacks! Long story short, they met at Sunnyvale when they were both seven, and Tasha was the first person Lux could truly count on.
Back at the bar, Baze and his boys have retreated downstairs. Math and The Other One put it to Baze that he's in over his head with Abby. It seems the DVR's not all she's hijacked. There's now a meditation corner in their frat den. Math asks why Baze has such impeccably bad taste, choosing the one worst person in the world to sleep with. Baze says Lux walked out on him because she saw his thing with Abby as a fling, so he wanted to prove that he could be part of something real -- "like Cate and Ryan." Of course, Math points out, that still doesn't justify why it had to be Abby. Frankly, she's pretty friggin' annoying and dangerously out-of-touch for a therapist. And not what Baze really wants.
Speaking of, upstairs Abby pushes Cate to get her to admit she's jealous. Cate denies it. Abby decides to take another tack and go for the jugular, accusing Cate of being angry that Baze chose her over Cate. Oh, honey, get it straight. You're just a distant second place. Cate isn't as mean as I am, though, so she tells Abby that, in fact, her issue is with Abby. She has insinuated herself into Cate's life in "the most insane ways" and "taken family dysfunction to a whole new level." Abby says it's dysfunctional that Cate asked her to be Maid of Honor then tried to sneak off and elope without her. Cate doesn't hold back, saying she never asked and/or made a show of asking Abby to be her MoH. She always wanted Lux. Realization and hurt flash across Abby's face. Or maybe it's just lightning. That hussy isn't the most perceptive.
Back at the station, Lux shares more of her story with Ryan. Tasha was her only constant as she bounced around the foster system. Tasha and, as we see in another flashback, the hope that her real mom would eventually come back for her.
Loft. Baze asks the guys (since they have so much amazing relationship experience) what to do about Abby. They say in no uncertain terms to cut her loose, no matter what tactics, lies, or cruelties he must employ. "Git 'er done." Nice, guys. Real nice. There's a reason you a-holes don't have any other friends.
Because Baze is a freaking moron, he chooses not to wait until they're not stuck in a storm to break it off with Abby. He acknowledges the tension it's causing with Cate. Abby counters that he's always in some sort of dramatic situation with Cate. Strike one. He turns to the sock drawer and says they're moving too fast. She dredges up her memories of Psych 101, saying he's just afraid to have her because he's afraid to lose her. Strike two. He tries to just give it to her straight and say he can't do it. She demands a valid reason. He grabs the first, most problematic lie he can think of and claims he has feelings for Cate. And guess who walks in on the bloodbath just then? Hint: Rhymes with "fabricate."
Cate can't believe (and she shouldn't) Baze's confession. She freaks out how this is going to impact the dynamic of their relationship, the custody sharing with Lux, and most importantly her relationship with still-jealous Ryan. Abby explodes at Cate, saying she manages to find a way to bitch about Baze regardless of the circumstance. Fair point. Baze excuses himself. Abby lays into Cate for having feelings for Baze herself, saying Baze's confession wouldn't matter to her if she didn't. She throws her stuff against the wall and falls onto the bed. She composes herself and tells Cate the least she can do is appreciate what Baze just said.
Cate heads to the other room to talk to Baze. She says she didn't mean to seem ungrateful, that's she's actually flattered. He stops her there, checking to see if Abby can hear, then admitting he lied to get her out of his sock drawer. He admits his whole ill-fated scheme to prove he's "relationship material" to himself, Lux, and Cate. He further acknowledges that he cares what Cate thinks about him. Cate bypasses the sliver of sympathetic information there and focuses on how Baze lied to her and her sister. "Wanna know what I think of you?" she asks. "Not much."
Radio station. Lux picks back up her story as she is rejected by a family for not wanting them. The irony stings. Lux now says that was that was the point when she knew she had to secure emancipation so she could no longer be cast aside. She says it was less than a year before she was handed over to Cate and Baze. She notes even more irony that she could only get what she wanted by giving up on her dream. Ryan takes in the heaviness of it all, then says he knows why she reacted how she did with Jones. She's only human, he says, and felt rejected by him, even though she didn't really want him. He urges her to explain things to Jones. Lux says she's glad Cate is marrying Ryan. He says he is, too.
Loft. Baze checks in on Abby, who is pretending to sleep. He comes clean that he lied about his feelings for Cate and finally tells her the truth that he's still trying to make things right with Cate and Lux. She was a reminder of the person he was in high school. Abby takes it pretty well, but she does throw in one more free session of psychoanalysis. She says that it's telling that his go-to lie was about Cate, that there's probably more truth to the lie than he realizes. Then we're slapped in the face by metaphor as the lights miraculously come back on. Baze lets out a self-aware chuckle.
Out in the living room, Lux has made it over and heads inside to wake up Cate, who's sleeping on Baze's couch. Lux says she and Ryan were trapped in the station all night, immediately sympathizing that Cate got a worse lot. Lux apologizes for not saying anything, but Cate says at least now she understands why Lux was mad at Baze. Lux says it's okay for Cate to be mad at Baze. Cate says she's more mad at herself for letting herself be jealous. She doesn't want to think about (or let Ryan think about) what that means. Lux echoes Ryan's advice that she's only human.
Just then Abby walks out of Baze's room. Lux excuses herself so they can talk. Abby says she felt cut off after Cate learned she was pregnant, like Cate didn't want anyone to be there for her. Cate says it was just the opposite, she wanted someone to be there, and she felt no one was. Abby tearfully says she wants to be in Cate's life again and maybe dating Baze was her misguided attempt to force her way in. Cate appreciates the candor -- and the feeling of someone wanting her again. They hug it out.
Ryan drives Lux to Jones's house. He opens the door, and they share a silent smile. Inside the car, Cate confesses that her elopement scheme may have just been a way to avoid dealing with the Baze-Abby drama, not to mention their 31 different flavors of family dysfunction. At the core of it, she's still afraid she might mess things up. She has realized she can't run away or gloss over the fact that Baze and Abby's relationship upset her. Ryan says he has made peace with her history with Baze. He gets why it stirred up so many emotions. He tells her she doesn't need anyone's approval, but if it makes her feel better she's got his. He throws says eloping on the coast is still an option. She suggests they go somewhere closer. Before she can say, Lux hops in the car to reports that Jones understood why she reacted so badly. That happily settled, Ryan asks where they're headed.
Could it be Baze's loft? Because that's where we go as he gives Abby back her box of belongings. In walk Cate, Ryan and Lux with the makings for mimosas and Bloody Marys. Baze wonders why they're not on the coast, so Cate tells him they decided to get married in Portland so all their wackadoo gaggle of friends and family can come. The big day is set for two weeks. Cate says she's going to need two Maids of Honor to pull it off. They pop the champagne. Lux toasts to Cate and Ryan. Baze is the only one to echo her, and it's weirdly bittersweet.
week: Road trip! Cate confronts her long-lost dad, and Lux confronts Baze on his feelings for Cate.
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