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Cate is in a tizzy about an impending visit from Lux's caseworker to determine whether she and Baze are fit to be parents. Baze, on the other hand, is in the sauce. He and Cate spend much of the episode negotiating Lux's carpool schedule to school and sniping at each other for this, that and the other. All in a day's work with you two-time one-night stand-slash-baby-makin' partners, right? To his discredit, Baze makes several monumentally dumb calls, from leaving a lamp made out of a bong in his apartment to allowing unlicensed Lux to drive his car. And, you know, living above a bar. Where's there's booze. For her part, Cate makes a horrendous call by toeing the company line at work and reading a producer-mandated statement on-air that she doesn't in fact have a 16-year-old kid.
Hearing Cate's denial and observing the general discontent between her bioparents goes a long way in convincing Lux that she should have stuck with the harebrained scheme she and her besty from the orphanage made to get emancipated and use her savings to move in with their boyfriends. Before Cate betrayed her before an audience of -- I don't know -- thousands, Lux had told her buddy that she wanted to stay with Cate and see about this new life. Feeling betrayed, Lux's friend does everything possible to throw a wrench in Lux's idyllic new existence, including but not limited to stealing Cate's engagement ring and being a first-class bitch. In the end, though, the sticky-fingered ragamuffin makes good and urges Cate to see things through. Baze, too, gets a much needed pep talk from -- of all people -- Math, who tells him to stop being such a frigging coward. Ryan closes out the trifecta by telling Lux that she really is wanted and to give this new arrangement a little time. He seals the deal by showing Lux her very own decked-out-by-Delia*s bedroom he's been constructing in Cate's attic, complete with a Spin Doctors poster to put horrible images in Lux's mind as she goes to sleep at night.
Things end on a mostly positive note. The only hitch: Cate receives primary custody, meaning Lux can't live with Baze. He seems a bit disheartened, and I'm certain it will create issues later, but for now it's all sunshine and flowers. Except for those flowers that Lux plowed down in Baze's truck. Whoops!
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see what vlogger Sean Crespo thinks about Life when he has No Prior Knowledge!
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: Nobody wanted serial foster kid Lux, so she had to track down her birth parents -- bar owner Baze and radio personality Cate -- to secure her freedom from leering ginger foster brothers. Portland's meanest judge called Lux out on a technicality. Lux found herself homeless, and Cate (who is engaged to her co-host Ryan) literally stumbled upon her after a shamefully reminiscent one-night stand with Baze. Cate decided to make things right and took Lux in. There was birthday cake. Everybody wins!
Dreary Portland. Cate takes her daily 5 a.m. run. The cellulite isn't going to keep itself at bay, you know. Meanwhile, Baze and his buddies play beer pong. Cate cooks and bakes and does all things domestic. Those clichés aren't going to manifest themselves, you know. Baze kicks ass at beer pong. Cate fails at making French toast... which I made successfully (many times) in my seventh grade Home Ec class. Seriously? We learn that Cate is in a Frenchy frenzy because Lux's caseworker is coming tomorrow. She worries that her inability to bake will disqualify her from getting the "MOM" stamp of approval. Well, not having a flaming home probably goes a bit farther than foiled attempts at cookie making... so there's that. Ryan mercifully tries to pacify her, but she finds something new to worry about -- that ol' good-for-naught, baby-makin', beer-swillin' Baze. He has to get the stamp of approval, too. Ryan deflects her anxiety by teasing her about her "hot soccer mom" hair. He thinks the stability in her life from their engagement will also help with the caseworker. Not satisfied to have even a second that isn't utterly uptight, she moans that the dynamic of their show doesn't lend itself to their getting married. Speaking of the show, they need to head to the station. Cate rouses Lux to say goodbye. Cate has all the bases covered -- except she's forgotten to secure Lux a ride to school.
Cut to Baze's bar. He picks up his phone and gives an entirely too enthusiastic (read: drunk) "Heeeeeey!" Cate asks for a ride, which Baze is more than happy to give... just not today. Cate immediately starts talking shit about him to Ryan, all of which he hears but will probably be too drunk to remember anyway. Hey, I have an idea! Let's have the drunk guy drive a 16-year-old to school! Cate is on board, y'all. So Baze hems and haws about how hard he's been "working" and how he has to get ready for the social worker's visit. Of course he doesn't even have the day right. It's today, not tomorrow. Even his wasted bros know that. Cate takes it to the serious place, telling Baze he needs to get his bidness together, starting with the lotion on the nightstand. She says there is no way they're losing Lux over his fuckery. Baze pulls it together. For now. By which I mean he's cognizant enough to know that his ex, Jogger Bra Tracy, is completely unwilling to help with his 16-year-old screw-up and to ask if anyone is sober enough to drive Lux to school. Cut to several hours later. Lux is waiting on Cate's front porch like poor little Manny in Modern Family, but with snazzier shoelaces. Moments later Baze and his bro show up in a cab, screaming like football hooligans.
Over at the radio station, Cate argues that being slutty is much more efficient (and cheaper and skinnier) than trying to self-apply drunk goggles when you're not that into a guy. They cut to a commercial and are met by a producer chastising Cate for her on-air admission that she's dating Ryan. She furthermore hands Cate a slip of paper coaching her on how to handle any ideas she might have about mentioning Lux on the program. And by "handle" we mean, deny, deny, deny. Cate thinks people want the truth, but the suit begs to differ.
Meanwhile, the cab-alleros arrive at Lux's impressively run-down school. Lux makes a break for it, but Baze grabs her by the backpack strings and makes an earnest effort at being paternal. Realizing that such instinct is utterly absent, he asks what time he should pick up Lux. She says she'll find a ride. The minute she skips off, Cate calls to check up on them. They managed to make Lux an hour late to school because they were lured in by the temptations of drive-through cuisine. Cate angrily realizes that Baze is in a cab and puts it together that he is just as soused as she suspected. He gets indignant, insisting that he's done everything she asked by picking up Lux and taking her to school. Of course, while he's on his "Don't underestimate me" tirade, Lux is skipping back down the stairs so she can play hooky.
She ends up in Chinatown. She knocks on a door, and an older boy with a shaved head and a neck tattoo answers. He pulls her in and they make out. Scandal! Inside, Lux greets another guy and girl, her friends from foster care it turns out. The girl is pissed that Lux has bagged on their plan for all four of them to get emancipated and move in together. Lux says she's stuck with how things are now because she couldn't actually tell the judge that her life plan was to shack up with her high school dropout BF. We quickly learn that the girl was pretty much just planning on using Lux's money to finance her own freedom from foster care. Without Lux's savings, there's no way she's getting emancipated. So not so much about solidarity as survival of the moochiest, huh? She guilts Lux into going to (and vacating) Cate's.
Radio station. The producer finds Cate in the parking lot, and Cate gets a serious case of verbal diarrhea, admitting that she slept with Baze. This shit makes the producer's day. She gets all holier-than-thou, claiming Cate was self-sabotaging so she wouldn't be accountable for her life with Ryan and Lux. Cate insists it was an accident, but the producer is way too self-satisfied with her smug armchair diagnosis to let it go.
Across town, Lux and her truant friends are foraging through Cate's stuff. They turn on the radio to make sure that Cate's still on-air across town while gal pal half-jokes about "borrowing" Cate's clothes, and her donut shop employee boyfriend considers pawning Cate's engagement ring. Lux tries to rein in the larceny, but it's pretty obvious this is going nowhere good in the 40 minutes or so. Neck Tats calls the Donut A-Hole out of the house, and Lux's pal starts working on her some more. She notes that Lux is sleeping on the couch and says it must mean Cate doesn't plan on her staying very long. She tells Lux she's one mistake from getting kicked out, just like all the other foster homes she's been in. Lux says she's happy to finally have a family, so her "friend" says she thought that she was Lux's family. She rags on Baze for being drunk when he took her to school. Lux points out that Baze and Cate aren't like her other foster parents and that she's seen much worse -- like sharing a room with six other kids or being chained to a bed in some crack den. She says she actually feels wanted for the first time in her life. She wants to stay. As Lux's friend starts huffily exiting room, Lux has a chance to return her attention to the radio program. Cate reads the prepared statement denying that she was ever pregnant in high school and denying Lux's existence. Lux's BFF happily throws that in her face. With friends like these...
Over at the loft, Cate supervises as Baze gives the hardass caseworker the grand tour, complete with beeping out-of-batteries smoke detector. Baze thinks that the place is perfect for a teenager, since it's got a pinball machine and other time-wasting knickknacks. He even clutches his arm around Cate awkwardly to show just how family-friendly this place is. Unsurprisingly, the social worker takes issue with the fact that there's all that booze downstairs, ripe for the drinkin'. (In fact, I strongly suspect "Lux getting shitfaced" will probably be the theme of an entire episode by the end of the season.) She tells him that he needs to hand in his medical records and parenting references, then turns her attention just behind him to a bong that's been fashioned into a lamp. He shows it off nearly as proudly as the dad displays his leg lamp in A Christmas Story. The caseworker takes a photo for evidence and decides she needs to take a second look at the place to make sure she didn't miss anything else child-destroying. While she looks around, Cate takes Baze to task for not de-fratting the place sufficiently. Baze says the decor didn't bother her the other night. He guesses she hasn't told Ryan what happened between them. She snarks that the only thing between them is "the lingering smell of your Axe body spray." Heh. Baze tells her to calm down because there's nothing damning to find. Famous last words. The caseworker reappears with an inflatable, lingerie-clad sheep.
Later, Cate is back at home with Lux, Ryan and a much-needed bottle of wine. She bitches about Baze's place while Lux does homework and Ryan pulls out the plates for their takeout pizza dinner. Ryan says he can't believe Cate had sex with Baze. An extremely nervous glance passes between Cate and Lux before Ryan starts yammering about his first time with a Jersey girl, and they realize he's talking about the sex they had 16 years and nine months ago -- not, say, a couple nights ago. Cate cuts Ryan off before he gets too detailed in describing the slats underneath the Seaside boardwalk. He asks Lux about school. Cate worries about her missing an hour that morning, but she says she just missed homeroom and Sex Ed. And "Who needs to know how to wear condoms, anyway?" Well, I've got a couple candidates for you, Lux, you bastard! Ryan awkwardly changes topics again, saying the pizza he bought is half pepperoni, half Canadian bacon. [While I personally think that's awesome, who orders that for a group of three people without asking first? - Zach] Lux informs them she doesn't eat meat and takes off for bed early.
She heads off, leaving Cate and Ryan to wonder why Lux is in a sour mood. [Not having anything to eat but ham? - Zach] She asks Ryan to talk to her, but Ryan says that's definitely her job. Speaking of jobs, Cate thinks she blew it by reading the statement on air today. She tries to deflect blame on Ryan for bringing the subject up, but he thinks that the decision to read the statement and the decision to welcome Lux into her home were entirely her choices. He backtracks a little, saying he's not upset at her about it but that he's had a lot to process in the last several days. He takes off to clear his head. Lux comes back down in her pajamas. Cate tries to make a peace offering by giving Lux money for a cab to school the morning since she doesn't trust Baze to take care of it. While she looks for money, she notices that her engagement ring is missing. Lux looks on paralyzed as Cate tears through the house in a tizzy.
The morning, Lux diverts her cab to school and drops by Chinatown to get Cate's ring back from her hoodlum friends. The Donut A-Hole claims his innocence while his girlfriend once again makes it all about Lux thinking she's better than the rest of them. Even Lux's boyfriend turns on her, piling on the guilt that she's abandoned her real family. Lux apologizes and offers them a ride to school. Her BFF says she's going to her emancipation hearing and tells Lux to bugger off. They walk away, leaving Lux alone on the fishy-smelling sidewalk.
That afternoon, Lux leaves school and finds Baze has come to collect her. Mind you, he's asleep behind the wheel from his late-night bar-nanigans. He apologizes for flaking on her that morning, explaining that he ended up falling asleep before it was time to take her to school. He tries to make it up to her by teaching her how to drive. That way she can drive herself to school eventually. She is hesitant, but Baze thinks it will be fun. They roll up to Cate's house, where the uptight radio host herself is potting a massive plant. As soon as she spots Lux at the wheel, she starts screeching. Before you can say obvi, Lux careens into the massive pot, narrowly avoiding Cate. Lux blames it all on Baze, as 16-year-olds are wont to do. Cate reams him for making such an obvious mistake as letting an unlicensed minor drive his car up to the house when he very well knows the caseworker is expected. She accuses him of trying to screw it up, saying he doesn't really want to be Lux's parent. Lux takes a moment to interject, "Like you do?" She says she heard that radio show and says Cate shouldn't have pretended to want her if she really didn't. In the distance, we hear the click of a closing car door. What do you know? It's the caseworker, come to take in this blissfully familial scene!
Cate and Baze take the caseworker inside for a little private conversation. She says the judge probably put Lux with them because they were the last resort. It's her job to determine whether they're even a resort at all. So far, epic fail. Baze inadvertently cops a feel as he gesticulates wildly in trying to assure the caseworker that they're BFFs. Naturally, she brings up the fact that he can't even be bothered to change the batteries in his smoke detector. She questions his parental instincts and informs them she's going to tell the judge she doesn't think they're up to the task of raising Lux.
Over in Chinatown, Lux puts tail between legs and apologizes profusely to her friend. The turncoat is fairly unsympathetic as she has been denied emancipation and is packing her things to return to the orphanage. As she shoves crap into garbage bags, the phone rings. Lux offers to answer it. She starts into her friend's bag, but old BFF tries to stop her. Too late! Lux finds Cate's ring in there. Who didn't see that coming? The friend tries to turn it into some symbolic battle where Cate stole Lux, so she decided to steal the ring so Lux, prompting Cate to kick Lux out and thereby forcing Lux back into the street urchin fold. Then she guilts Lux some more about what a lucky bitch she is for suddenly having a less shitty life than before. Slap her, Lux! Slap her! Alas, instead she just looks at her like, "Man, that's effed up," and leaves.
Loft. Baze interrupts the bros playing Wii Tennis to tell them Lux won't be moving in after all. While one bro tries console him, Math brings up that damn smoke detector and gives him a dressing down for not trying hard enough. He tells Baze it's a punk move that's he's made Cate single-handedly take care of Lux both when they were 16 and now.
Chinatown. Cate shockingly doesn't have a hanky over her nose as she knocks on the door to the Petty Thief's place. PT takes a moment to be starstruck before telling Cate that Lux took off with her boyfriend. His name is Bug. Ohhhh, that's rough. Cate tells PT to have Lux call her when she returns. And guess what PT does? She springs the guilt trip on Cate for having a better life, too. Cate takes her point, albeit snotty, though, and asks PT if she thinks Lux would be better off with someone else. PT throws the radio statement in her face and gives her a little background on their ragamuffin days in the orphanage. Apparently that scoundrel PT used to get in a lot of trouble, and the Mrs. Hannigans of Sunnyvale would make her sip Tabasco as punishment. Lux spent a month collecting change from the couch cushions so she could replace the Tabasco with V8. PT tells Cate about their emancipation scheme before her caseworker honks the horn to deposit her back at Sunnyvale. PT admits she took the engagement ring and apologizes. Without missing a beat, Cate says, "What I took? It was worse." Don't validate her, Cate! There's evil under those witchy red ringlets! Completing her voodoo spell, PT tells Cate that Lux has seen some really horrible things in her days as a foster kid and is actually better off with Cate. She concludes on a pep talk-ish note, saying that Cate being Lux's birth mom is everything to her.
Elsewhere, Cate drives up to find Baze repairing the broken plant in front of her house. She tells him she won't be able to live with herself if she doesn't fight for custody of Lux. She gives him an easy out, but he refuses to take it. He wants to fight, too. He rambles about wanting to be a dad, putting aside their indiscretions, and partnering with her in raising Lux. Some time later, they're back in Chinatown (how big is this damn place?) where they've tracked down the caseworker to give her Baze's paperwork. She tells them she doesn't appreciate the ambush, so they proceed to barrage her with every reason why they would be terrible parents. Reverse psychology? The caseworker begins to lose patience, so Cate goes to her back-up speech. She shames the woman that someone in her department made false promises about Lux being sent to a good home and asks her why they wouldn't leave a 16-year-old with two gainfully employed 32-year-olds when they were certainly willing to leave an infant with two teenagers. Not exactly the strongest argument, but fair enough. Cate reminds the caseworker about the terrible foster homes Lux has lived in and says that their house surely must be better. Plus, she adds, they can give Lux one thing that no one else has -- love. Wipe away a single tear with me now! But it's all for naught. The caseworker says she just interviewed Lux, and she specifically asked to be returned to Sunnyvale. Cate and Baze are stunned.
Cate's. Ryan finds Lux packing her bags. She breaks the news to him, though he's already heard it from Cate. Ryan calls her out for bailing on Cate before Cate can bail on her. Lux says she realizes Cate is terrified of taking her on and says she doesn't think there's room for her in Cate's life. Ryan counters that Cate is a perfectionist and doesn't take on anything at which she can't succeed. He saw it when they first began their talk show, and he sees it now. He says he sees a lot of that in Lux, too. He tells Lux that everyone will find a place, she just needs to give Cate some time to figure out where everyone, including him, can fit comfortably in her world. He tells her he's got a surprise for her. He pulls down the stairs to the attic where they've been doing renovations. Up there, he shows Lux the room they've prepared for her. They were waiting until they got approved to tell her. Lux runs around like a new housemate on The Real World, finding the new clothes that Cate bought her (the one PT was considering "borrowing") and the iPod on which Cate uploaded all of Lux's favorite bands. Lux has never had her own room before. At that moment, Cate pops up to ask her if she likes it. Lux says she loves it.
The day at the courthouse, the caseworker tells newly formed happy family that everything is set for Cate and Baze to get joint custody of Lux. One condition: Cate is Lux's primary caregiver, so Lux has to live at her place. Baze takes the news kind of hard and looks like he's feeling left out already, but they all hug at the start of something good.
That night, Lux is still marveling at her new room. She spots a poster on the wall and asks who the Spin Doctors are. Cate bluntly tells her they were playing when she was conceived, then apologizes for TMI. She sits down and earnestly apologizes for denying she'd had Lux on the radio. She said it's part of a larger fear of commitment but that Lux deserves better. She asks Lux who chose her name. Lux says a nurse chose it because she was a blonde kid from two brunette parents and because it means "light." Cate heads downstairs. Lux heads across the room to turn off her lamp. It's the bong!
The morning, Cate makes an announcement on her radio show: Things have been illuminated (thud), and she sees them in a different light now (thud). She tells the world, for real this time, about her new daughter love. As she says this, school-bound Lux heads out to Baze's car where he is once again asleep at the wheel. Cate says Lux has come into her life for a reason -- so she and everyone around her can grow up.
week: Lux meets the parents!
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see what vlogger Sean Crespo thinks about Life when he has No Prior Knowledge!