Pilot

S01E01

A nice crane shot leads us to the Carnival. Deborah runs through and giggles that Dino is looking at Jackie, but Jackie claims that she doesn't care. Dino is joined by the rest of the Trio. Jonathan announces that there's beer over by the bingo tent, but Dino doesn't want to drink until hockey season is over. His friends give him shit, but Dino stands strong. Ben asks if Jackie is still freezing Dino out, and Dino says that she is, but that it'll change. Ben says that it always does. Am I supposed to like Jackie? How could a girl who is so firm (dirty!) about her sexual boundaries be so lax with her emotional ones? Dino's plan is to apologize and pretend he doesn't want sex, forcing Jackie to get all horned up and demand sex. Then The Trio refers to their genitalia as "Mini-Me" and "tiny turtles" and that's just unacceptable. I think teenage boys would just say "dick," but maybe that's not allowed in this post-wardrobe malfunction landscape. But seriously. Tiny turtles?

Dino finds Coach Scott, who is the hockey coach, working in a game booth. They tease each other, as jocks do, until Dino's mom uses a megaphone to call Dino to her booth, right door. She demands a hug from her son, which is just gross. Now she's just trying to humiliate him. Coach Scott makes fun of them, as he should, and Dino's dad wanders up with some ribs. Everyone grabs some, but Dino's dad refuses to give up samples to Coach Scott until he promises to give Dino some ice time. He's only partly kidding. Coach Scott hangs out chummily with Dino's mom as Dino's dad heads back to his cooking.

Deborah brings Jonathan a beer and apologizes because "it's really bad and it's really warm, but at least it's wet." Jonathan retorts, "Hey, don't talk that way about yourself." Jonathan! With a comeback! Deborah starts a tickle fight, and they play grab-ass.

Ben drinks a beer and creepily stares at Miss Young, who is working at a book sale booth. What kind of carnival is this, anyway? There are games, and rides, and books? And ribs? And bingo? Miss Young spots Ben watching, and he quickly tries to hide his beer. She just stares. What is wrong with her?

Dino finds Jackie in some sort of slow-dance tent, like why is she hanging out there alone? And why is there a slow-dance tent? Dino walks up and asks if she wants "to dance with a selfish jerk who wants to say he's sorry." Jackie accepts, and they move out onto the floor. Dino starts to apologize. Jackie says that if he wants other girls, he should leave now. Dino says he doesn't. Jackie says that she's not ready, and that she doesn't know when she will be, so he needs to back off. Dino agrees. Jackie can't believe he's agreeing with her. Dino promises to respect that she's not ready. Jackie is touched, and snuggles up close to him for the rest of the song. Ben runs in and interrupts them, urging them to come and see something. Jackie and Dino are kind of like, "Um, we were totally rubbing on each other," but Ben urges them outside, where he leads them to Jonathan and Deborah making out in the bushes. Was Ben walking around the bushes looking for more people to stalk creepily? Dino thinks it looks like "feeding time at a pork farm." Get it? Because Deborah's fat? Do you get it? By the way, Kelly Osbourne? Not fat. Anyway, Jackie tells the guys to shut up, because Deborah deserves a guy. Really! Otherwise, how will she go on living? The guys yell out Jonathan's name, so he knows he's busted.