The show opens with a man demonstrating a remarkable incomprehension of the "no means no" rule. The woman wriggles out from under him and manages to smash him upside the head with a water glass and runs into another room, closing the door behind her and blocking it with a dresser while her attacker pounds and yells.
She calls 911, and the thing we know, Olivia and Elliot are interviewing her -- Christie. Her attacker was her sister Rachel's boyfriend, Dan -- it's their apartment. But Rachel's nowhere to be found, and the blood in the room and by the fire escape indicates she didn't leave willingly. Meanwhile, a much calmer Dan seems shocked to hear what he's being accused of. His excuse? He was sleeping while he did it.
Elliot grills Dan, who's maintaining that he's got arousal parasomnia (also called sexsomnia). Oh, and he offers a little too much information when he tells us that Rachel says the sex is best when he's asleep. Dan's lawyer backs him up. You're never going to believe this, but Elliot is a little bit skeptical, especially since the lawyer's contention is that Dan can't be charged since he didn't have any idea what he was doing.
But Casey confirms that's the case. Dan's going to walk, and apparently the detectives aren't going to even require medical evidence of this condition? There's also the matter of the missing Rachel McGarrett; Dan says he woke up when Christie knocked him with the glass went running into the bedroom, but Rachel was already gone. Huang finds this believable; his feeling is that in Dan's condition, he wanted to have sex, but Rachel wasn't there so he went for Christie. The detectives are thinking Dan killed Rachel and then went after Christie, but Casey says there has never been a case of sexsomnia linked to a homicide (way to prevent all the angry phone calls to NBC from sexsomniacs pissed off at the depiction of their problem). Huang does think, however, that if Rachel did love Dan (as both Dan and Christie have said during questioning) she's not likely to leave in the middle of the night; Huang thinks she was kidnapped.
After all this time, you'd think the detectives would co-ordinate a little better so they aren't escorting a victim out of the detachment at the same time they escort the guy who did it. Dan tries to apologize, and Christie wants nothing to do with him, and she goes running into the arms of her father, who just showed up. Daddy tackles Dan and gets in a shot or two before the ridiculously slow-reflexed Olivia and Elliot can pull him off. Mr. McGarrett reacts about as well as you'd expect to the news that no one's going to be held responsible for the attack on his daughter. Good thing he doesn't ask a couple more questions, because maybe Olivia and Elliot would have to admit that the only proof of Dan's condition is his word and the word of his lawyer.
Olivia, over at the crime lab, finds out that the blood in the bedroom belonged to Dan, not Rachel, which corroborates his story a little bit more, and gives Olivia hope Rachel hasn't been hurt. Then she gets a text message from Cragen on her cellphone, as if Cragen wouldn't just call her, telling her to turn on the teleivison.
On screen is Mr. McGarrett at a live press conference, lambasting the "incompetent detectives" who let the rapist go, and offering a $50,000 reward for any information leading to Rachel's safe return. He gives out SVU's tip line number, but he didn't have to, as the psychics at the NBC affiliate broadcasting the press conference already have it up in a graphic on the screen.
Requisite scene of the unit's phones ringing off the hook, with all of the detectives getting a line each to complain about the useless tips offered only in hopes of claiming the reward. If you've seen Law & Order before, you've seen this already. Hell, you saw it last week, courtesy of Sgt. Munch, who is nowhere to be found this week. And you also know that the scene will end with one of the detectives getting a piece of legit information.
In this case, it's Chester, who is yelling across the room and has his tipster on speakerphone, which I'm sure is appreciated by everyone else trying to work. As Cragen and Olivia crowd around the phone, Rachel's friend Ginger says, "I think Rachel's in another universe." Well, we can certainly see why Chester thinks this is a good lead.
We head over to Ginger Maxon's loft, and we learn that she didn't say "another universe," but "Another Youniverse," which is TOTALLY NOT SECOND LIFE OR ANYTHING but is some sort of virtual online world. Ginger displays an amazing lack of embarrassment she shows them her avatar "Tawny Coppercuffs" strolling around the fake-o virtual world with a little whip. She says she and Rachel met at art school and got into the game then. "You can do anything you want in AY, just like in the real world," she chirps. Because as we all know the appeal of these games is they're just like the real world.
"Tawny" fortunately has some weird AY highlights reel of fake video clips of her supposedly playing this game, going shopping, etc. There's Rachel's avatar, "Vixy Platinum," at Tawny's virtual condo. Chester sweetly points out that those sound like stripper names, and Tawny cheerfully explains she and Rachel use the game to explore their fantasies. They own a couple of virtual sex clubs. Explain to me this "just like the real world" thing to me again, please? Tawny plays some clip of her and Vixy whipping and grinding on some strip-club stage.
Olivia says, "So you can do anything you want, and you and Rachel chose to be prostitutes?" Ginger says it's just a fantasy: sex without fear of STDs or pregnancy. Yes, certainly, by not actually having sex, you're not risking those things. I also quite enjoy that, in this virtual world, the guy who created the avatar currently getting a lapdance from Vixy made himself an older balding guy with glasses. "Someone may have hurt Rachel," says Chester, so Ginger pushes the "go to Vixy's club" button.
Hmmm. Rachel's club is called "Vixy Platinum's Underage Wonderstage." Well, this can't be good. Outside this club, the losers who already have too much free time have made their avatars creepy losers with nothing better to do than mill around a club for child molesters, holding "Where's Vixy?" signs. "There's a whole new world out there just waiting for perverts," grumbles Chester. He's not suggesting sexual predators might be online, is he? Maybe he's just grumpy that it wasn't his grandfather who built this universe and he can't identify exact street locations from the pitch of a nearby stockyard whistle. Ginger explains Vixy usually performs every day at two, but didn't show today. Chester points out Rachel's avatar looks like she's about fourteen years old. "Virtual sex wasn't enough. This perv wanted Rachel for real," says Olivia. To be fair, is virtual sex enough for anyone? Since it's not, you know, actual sex?
Elliot and Olivia visit Eric Wynton, the guy who created Another Youniverse. His office is supposed to look all modern, with a big wall of several different shots of the virtual world, but really just looks like four or five different angles of the same intersection, shuffled all over the place. Elliot and Olivia are looking for info on Vixy's fan club of pervs, which Wynton gives up without even bothering to waste any time by making the detectives get a warrant. A shot of Vixy's club shows all the child-molesting avatars have left, so Wynton offers to bring up a screencap of an earlier time when the avatars were there. This results in a ridiculous "whoosh" sound effect and the avatars materializing on the screen. Olivia asks if Vixy would keep in contact with her fans through instant messaging or email. No, says Wynton: a blog. Which rules out email and IM? Oh-kay... Anyway, the most recent blog entry is called STALKER. Yeah, click on that one, guys. Looks like it might be a clue.
The Another Youniverse street scenes vanish from the wall, which becomes one giant screen of Vixy talking about banning some scumbag from her club, and fearing he's "gone real world." His name is Wit Billions, she says, and Wynton has already determined that Wit Billions (whose avatar is a medieval executioner) was the only one of Vixy's regulars not parading in form of the club. Real name? Tobin Willis.
Willis sweats it out in an interrogation room, with Fin questioning him, and Chester showing off some ridiculous police program that displays letters in giant purple and plays sound effects while it dramatically shuffles the letters around and arrives at only one possible nonsensical anagram, in this case, rearranging "Tobin Willis" to spell "Wit Billions." He denies knowing anything about Another Youniverse, and says someone must have used his credit card to create an account. Meanwhile, the search of his apartment doesn't turn anything of interest, except lots of books about executioners, just like his avatar. Willis also has an alibi -- last night he was at the Mets game. And he, fortunately for his sake, was on the Jumbotron lots.
Sure enough, there's Willis, creepily staring straight up into the Jumbotron camera while everyone around him cheers. Doesn't look suspicious or anything. He never leaves his seat. Since the alibi is a little too airtight, our intrepid detectives figure he must have a partner.
So it's back to Wynton with another yeah-right graphically ridiculous program that shows the other avatars Wit Billions has been in contact with. Besides Vixy Platinum, Wit Billions has only encountered some dude named "Smarty Culottes" more than three times. There are some crazy-ass screencaps of the two of them (Wit in his executioner's garb, Smarty in a red suit) in the mountains, fishing, shopping, and, um, floating in a space station. "They met in Another Youniverse and made their fantasy Rachel's nightmare," says Olivia. Smarty Culottes' real name is Nestor Buchanan. There's no home address, just his work address: "Cooper's Rare Books." "I know that place," says Chester. Of course you do, Chester. Olivia barely even bats an eye.
Turns out Cooper is played by Kevin Tighe, also known as Locke's dad on Lost (where his name is also Cooper). Upon seeing Chester, he says he was just going to call, as he's got a first edition of The Sun Also Rises; Lake's a Hemingway collector, turns out. Here's hoping that comes in handy in a future case.
At any rate, Lake's not interested right now; they want Nestor Buchanan. Cooper leads them to the back, because Nestor's on the computer, where he takes care of the store's Internet orders. The only nerd stereotype missing from Nestor is tape on the bridge of his glasses and a pocket protector. Olivia has to wrest the keyboard from him to ask him questions about Rachel's disappearance. He says he doesn't know anything. Lake glances at the screen and notes Nestor was just now in Another Youniverse. This is apparently all Olivia needs to arrest him: "Your online avatar met a few times with another person's avatar. We think this person kidnapped a woman, but we don't have any evidence and he has an alibi. You're coming with us." She doesn't actually say that, of course. Because of how ridiculous it is. Anyway, goodbye, Kevin Tighe, you top-billed guest star! I'm presuming you were brought into this episode for just a few lines and we're not going to hear any more about you!
At the station, Nestor denies again knowing anything about any abduction, but admits to hanging out online with the executioner, although he doesn't know who the guy actually is. But when the detectives show him Willis (through one-way glass), Nestor recognizes him as one of the bookstore's customers who's always ordering books about executioners. We also learn that Nestor's boss is into Another Youniverse as well. Cops' new theory? Cooper, who has links to both men, created Wit Billions so he could kidnap Rachel and get someone else to take the fall.
Chester kicks in the door at the bookstore. You know the door was open, Chief Break Everything! No Cooper, no computer. But they do find a key to a storage facility in Washington heights. The key fits a unit that holds stacks of books but no missing Rachel. On a table is an envelope with "Detectives" typed on it. Inside is a single sheet of paper with "Leave us alone. It's not what you think" typed on it.
All this is enough for a search warrant of Cooper's place, but he's removed the computer there, and there's no evidence of Rachel having been there. But there is a picture on the wall of a girl who looks just like Vixy Platinum. They find, taped to the back of the picture, a to-do list. Titled "HOMECOMING," the items are "Buy Meds", "Pay VP AY Acct. 6 mos. Adv" and "Transfer 5,000 AY funds". These three are checked off, and there's a circled phone number that leads them to realty company. Nobody comments on the oddness of a to-do list taped to the back of a picture of a girl who looks like someone the detectives suspect Cooper of kidnapping, but if the detectives aren't going to ask that question, I guess I shouldn't.
The realtor takes Chester and Olivia to a warehouse in a deserted area of town, bought by Tobin Willis. Unfortunately, all the transactions were done by phone or mail, so she can't identify Cooper as the guy she actually dealt with. But there was one thing: "He wanted something in a deserted area. Like a cabin in the woods." She opens the warehouse. Inside, in a makeshift room decorated with girl's clothes, the detectives find Rachel blindfolded and bound to a bed. Nearby is a pile of suitcases; Cooper was going to move her. The sound of a car engine coming to life is, presumably, Cooper skedaddling, but Chester can't chase him down or get a licence plate number. He and Olivia do find a trayload of drugs there, though, identified later at the hospital as ketamine and valium and another drug whose name I don't catch. Fortunately, Rachel's come around enough for the detectives to interview her. She can't pick Cooper out of a photo array (her kidnapper wore a mask), and I'd like to know just where the detectives got this mugshot. Oh, there I go with the questions again. Rachel describes getting a needle in the neck, being tied to a bed, being raped. Chester wants to know if he ever talked about taking her somewhere. "He wanted to take me to a cabin in the woods," she says.
Olivia tells Cragen the rape kit was negative; Cooper must have worn a condom. Also, they didn't find any of Cooper's prints at the warehouse. Chester's got some news: Cooper's real name is Gregory Searle, who did time 25 years ago for kidnapped 15-year-old Lauren Molby. There's a picture of her too; it's the girl from the picture in Cooper's apartment. "Cooper decided to relive the glory of his old crime in virtual reality," says Chester.
So Cooper snatched Lauren out of her bedroom; she was never found, and the D.A. was convinced he killed her. Well, maybe the detectives can ask him about that; he's been found at a bus station, heading for Montreal.
Chester's the one who confronts Cooper before he gets on the bus. Fin snarls that "Canada's closed" and they haul him off to the hospital so Rachel can ID his voice. They're too late, though; Olivia makes her way over from consoling a grieving father and sister to tell them Rachel didn't make it.
A fruitless interrogation follows, with Cooper maintaining his innocence and pinning everything on Nestor (the warehouse belongs to the store and Nestor has a key, that kind of thing). Since they don't actually have anything on Cooper, they need a confession or he walks. Huang advises a frustrated Elliot and Olivia to try to get him talking about Lauren, which may lead him into talking about Rachel.
Cooper considers himself a hero because he rescued Lauren from an abusive dad and a drunk mom. "We loved each other. You don't forget the best year of your life!" he says, saying they had a place (but he won't say where it was). He also says the day before he was caught, he told Lauren she could go, but she said no, "out of love." Elliot segues into Rachel, who wouldn't stay with him unless he drugged her. But Cooper's figured out that he's been for hours and hasn't been charged yet, because they've nothing, and he gets up to leave.
Casey suggests finding Lauren's body, charging him with murder and then using that crime to establish precedent. "Hey, maybe it's in the game!" suggests Olivia, since Cooper's always talking about a cabin in the woods. "Maybe he built a digital dream house that can lead us to Lauren's body," she says. Casey figures it'll work, so Olivia heads over to talk to Wynton while Elliot tails Cooper to keep an eye on him.
Sure enough, Cooper's used the game software to build a cabin and a lake. Inside we find an avatar Cooper created: a girl sleeping on a bed with "Lauren" written on it. "I bet you this is a virtual replica of the (cabin) he used to stash Lauren," says Olivia. Fortunately, Wynton's got some preposterous software that'll instantly compare the Another Youniverse lake to a database of actual New York bodies of water, and Fin and Chester head upstate to be there whenever the lake is identified. Wynton gets it on the third try, and Fin and Chester are on their way to Twin Island Lakes. Elliot urges them to hurry, since it now appears Cooper's on his way to La Guardia. And hey, could we get a little more preposterous for the last few minutes of the episode?
Why sure! The creator of the game itself can't see, despite all the other fancy programs he has, just where on the lake this cabin is. Not without making the sun rise (it's currently night time in the game) and "freaking out" all the users. Wynton, despite uncomplainingly handing out his customers' private information, balks at this, but eventually does it, and Fin and Chester find Cooper's cabin, which is being guarded by a shotgun-wielding woman, who wants to know if they brought Gregory Searle with them. "I've been waiting for him, for twenty-five years," she says. This is Lauren, and she must be hungry.
Not happy that this spells defeat for their plan, Elliot arrests Cooper at La Guardia anyway -- for jaywalking. He'll be getting his own spinoff fall: Crosswalk Violations Unit.
Back at the precinct, Lauren confirms everything Cooper said: she loved him, he rescued her from her "bastard father and his drunk bitch of a wife." She got a job waiting tables and spent the quarter-century waiting for this guy. She still loves him (and she's even seen him just now, so the paunchiness and the thinning white hair are apparently not a problem). She doesn't believe what Olivia and Elliot tell her about the McGarrett kidnapping and death.
And the reunion's not quite what Lauren hoped for; when she walks in the room, she smiles, but the expression on his face is more along the lines of "My God...I never should have buried my son in the Pet Sematary." She hugs him, tears in her eyes. "It's me," she says. "I know who you are," he says coldly. "Don't you still love me?" she asks. "What happened to you? You got so old," he says. And just like that, he erases twenty-five years of love. "You're sick," says Lauren, and then accuses him of kidnapping Rachel and killing her, and she slaps him, and he admits it. And now he'll be going to jail, because he couldn't just say to Lauren, "Hey, you look great!" and have done with it.