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With five days left, the Pioneer Journal tells the Town Council to go exploring. So they do, leaving Sheriff Sophia as the boss of everyone while they wander off to meet with some Pueblo people somewhere outside the town. Since Sophia kicked off the episode by more or less seceding, nobody is too thrilled at her getting so much power. But she ends up doing a good job, motivating everyone to get their work done in a half-hour so that they can get into the arcade. Meanwhile, the Council, still hanging with the Pueblos, hits on the idea of "investing in the future" by giving the Gold Star to someone smart. They're still not back when it's time for the Showdown, in which the Districts race to schlep miniature homesteads across the plains. Green gets to be upper class again, followed by Red and Blue, with Yellow finishing just in time to win the town its reward (supposedly). The first reward option is a giant stone monument, and the other is a hot air balloon ride. Sophia picks the balloons, preempting the rebellion the producers are clearly trying to foment. The Council returns to town just as the balloons are returning to earth. It's looking like this week's gold star contenders are the members of the Bonanza City think tank, Alex and Jared, although Migle's also looking like a frontrunner as "most improved." Zach makes a case for himself during the nominations, and has a meltdown when he doesn't get the reaction from the Council he's expecting. At the Town Hall meeting, the arcade continues to be an issue, and under pressure from some of the kids, the Council decides to shut it down for good so that people can interact with each other instead. In the end, the Gold Star goes to Alex, and that night the town gathers around a campfire to bond and prep for week's season finale. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
It's Day 35, and Sophia conducts another one of her social experiments. In this case, she's roping off a few square yards of land in the middle of the street and claiming them as her own. Everyone laughs at first, but when Sophia explains that she's charging a five-cent toll for people to cross it, people start getting…cross. Sophia interviews that she suspected that as soon as she claimed it as her own, everyone would want it. Sure enough, after Sophia finishes sweeping the dust out of her little section of the dusty street, Nathan tells Sophia she needs to buy the land from the Town Council if she wants it, since it's public property. Sophia tells him to keep his ugly green Crocs off her land, although she's not the one making fun of his footwear; that's just me. She gathers a small crowd as she sits on a barstool in the middle of Sophiastan, vigorously defending her land and even smacking at Colton's leg when he puts a foot on her seat. "You should all be ashamed of yourselves!" she yells, and interviews that guess what? She was right. If you provoke people, they get provoked. Although these are also not her words. It would have been interesting to see what the town's reaction would have been if she'd staked her claim on the far side of the corral or something. In an interview, Emilie calls Sophia power-hungry and selfish, and the scene ends with Sophia and her broom perched on her barstool like a green-bandanna'ed Kurtz.
Time for the Pioneer Journal. It tells the Council that the original people of Bonanza City never explored beyond the town's borders. Well, how did they get there, then? Is this town closer to Roswell than I thought? The Journal advises them to leave town and meet up with some people who have been around for centuries so they can get their advice on how to build a lasting society. With five days left. Although it's not like the Journal can say, "We need to contrive a way to get you guys out of town for a couple of days just so we can fuck with things." Michael realizes this probably means Native Americans, and they resolve to follow the map where it leads.
thing you know, they're standing in front of the assembled town in the mess hall, wearing their coats, hats, and backpacks. Michael tells everyone what the Pioneer Journal said, and that it means they're leaving right now and they don't know when they'll be back. While the town is still getting its collective brain around this idea, Blaine further milks it by adding, "We might not ever come back." Greg adds that in the Council's absence, "Sheriff Sophia is in charge." Everyone looks shocked, no one more so than Sophia herself. Eric asks if they can vote on an interim leader instead, and he gets shot down. Kennedy asks who will decide on a Showdown reward if the Council isn't back by then, and it turns out that's going to be up to Sophia, too. Nathan protests that Sophia is getting a lot of power for someone who wasn't even elected. "Well, that's too bad," say Greg and Blaine in perfect unison. I bet their menstrual cycles are in sync too. The Council takes its leave. After a long pause, Sophia slowly mounts the stage and smiles ambiguously down at everyone. "Hi, town," she deadpans.
After the commercials, some director makes poor Sophia stride out of the Green bunkhouse and into a hero-shot. She's sporting a cowboy hat, a duster, a weed between her teeth, and a steely expression to go along with the ominous spaghetti Western guitar on the soundtrack. Nathan interviews that this is like a dictatorship. Sophia barely gets ten feet down the street before being waylaid by Kelsey, who, in Kelsey's typical freak-out mode, is bugging Sophia to open the arcade. Sophia tells her she's checking on the completion of jobs before that happens, although she promises to have the arcade open as soon as possible. Her first stop is the Saloon, where she tells the Blue team the place needs some work. In an interview (in which her subtitle is now "Sophia, 14: Sheriff"), she says that it's her responsibility to make sure the jobs are getting done. We see her enlisting Laurel's help in using barrels and a bench to barricade the arcade shut. She says that her goal is to have the arcade open in thirty minutes. Which is fine, but it could have been 29½ if she and Laurel hadn't messed around with her barrier.
Meanwhile, the Council hikes across the high desert, looking like a teenaged, color-coded version of the four guys who set out from Boulder to Las Vegas near the end of The Stand. Which one of these four do you think will survive (spoiler!)? They speculate on how Sophia's going to do, and Michael's poorly-placed body mic distorts his voice as he says they kind of gave her a lot to deal with. "If anyone, she's the one who can handle it," Greg says confidently. After a hike of uncertain length, they reach what looks like a small encampment just as it starts spitting down rain. There's some brief confusion about the difference between and igloo and a teepee (we're looking at a couple of the latter, just to be clear), and the boys approach a group of Native Americans, some of whom are dancing and singing in traditional dress. Michael figures that's where they're supposed to be. And he's probably right, but how awesome would it have been if they'd run into some anti-government kooks who wanted to give them tips about living off the grid and arming themselves for the apocalypse? The chief (wearing modern clothes and glasses) introduces himself, telling them that he and his people belong to the Pueblo nation, and Michael says they're honored to be there. Later, inside one of the teepees, the Council picks the chief's brain about how to deal with children who don't listen. The chief advises them to always offer support, because children are the future. A woman in the teepee with them tells them to set an example. For this they had to leave town for two days.
Back at Bonanza, Sophia's still doing her rounds, telling everyone that she's hoping to have the arcade open as soon as the stores are in order and the dishes are started. Migle interviews that she was worried at first, but now she thinks Sophia's doing a good job. Sophia tells us, "I think that I haven't gotten any crap because I haven't given anybody any crap." She tells the kitchen staff (Yellow) to do as many dishes as they can in the ten minutes, and then she'll open the arcade. It seems to work. Kelsey interviews that it's not as loud with the Council gone. Which is funny, because unlike Kelsey, most members of the Council at least have indoor voices. And then Sophia checks out the Saloon, and seems satisfied. She interviews that they've got the rusty wheels oiled, and then we see her go out on the Saloon's balcony and announce from on high that the arcade is open. So that's where everyone goes, right that second.
Sophia has a little talk with Taylor, having noticed that Taylor's actually been working. Taylor says something about Greg not noticing when she works. How could anyone not notice Taylor working? That's what you call a "man bites dog" story. Hell, that's a "man bites God" story. Taylor mildly says, "When they come back from their hike of getting ideas and all, I just hope [Greg] gets lost on top of a mountain and a pack of coyotes come and eat him." Except this is actually Taylor's way of saying something nice, which is that she thinks Sophia's doing a better job than Greg. Sophia takes the compliment in the spirit it's intended, and they hug. Sophia does not carry Taylor into the arcade, however.
In the Green bunkhouse, a few of the kids are talking about how to make the most of the last few days. Morgan says they need to padlock the arcade so kids can spend more quality time with each other. Kennedy agrees. Live life to its fullest by outlawing fun.
Zach, meanwhile, is milking a goat. "I'm from Miami Beach, Florida," he smirks. "I'd like to see my parents try to do this." Let's just let Zach go on thinking that he's the best goat-milker in the greater Miami area, at least until he's old enough to get into certain clubs.
Possibly inspired by the Council's journey of discovery (which they wouldn't be if they knew what was going on), Alex and Jared have decided to go on a little walkabout of their own. At the edge of a dry wash, they look down and spot what looks to be a bleached cow skeleton, or at least the prop version thereof. They scamper down to check it out. Pointing at the bone in Alex's hand, Jared says, "That's either a thigh or a femur." Pointing out the ball and socket joint on one end, Alex identifies it as...the latter. He interviews that when he grows up, he wants to be "a chemist, a geography teacher, or a linguist. Especially a linguist because linguistics are really fun." Jared interviews that he'd like to have Alex as a best friend or brother. Back at the skeleton, Jared talks about using carbon dating to determine the age of the skeleton, which is the most recent excuse for me to start wondering if Jared is maybe not quite as smart as he tries to come off. I mean, it still has most of its teeth attached. As they leave their little dig site with Jared carrying the cow's hipbone, Jared declares, "Pelvis has left the building, baby!" And when you've made a nine-year-old with one tooth groan at your bad joke, you're in trouble.
Darkness falls, and the Council is still hanging with the Pueblos near their campfire. The Chief Dr.-Phils at them about how it's easy to be mean and selfish, but hard to live well, although it's more rewarding. "What goes around comes around," Greg translates. Somehow, DK makes the leap of interpreting this to mean that they should look at some of the smarter kids in the town and give one of them as Gold Star as an investment in the future. Which, for the town, consists of four more days, but never mind.
Day 36. In their color-coded hats and anoraks, the kids (minus the Council) meet up on the Showdown field. Jonathan's rocking a cowboy hat this time, and surprisingly enough, it kind of works for him. So how did they come up with a Showdown to go along with the "Council gone" theme? Well, it's kind of a stretch, so bear with me. Jonathan asks if anyone knows about the Homestead Act. Jared speaks up, saying it's "when you get 160 acres of free land and you can only keep it if you work it for five years or more." That actually kind of impresses me. I've been going back and forth on Jared for a while, trying to figure out if he's actually a genius or if he's just so weird and nerdy that everyone assumes he is, and he plays along with it by using big words and subscribing to Discover magazine. If I'm ever going to figure that out, it's going to have to be soon. Jonathan confirms that Jared is correct, and here's how it relates to the Showdown. Each district gets a "homestead," which consists of a small, wooden, one-room house; a crate of chickens; "a grumpy old alpaca," as Jonathan calls the ruminant tied to a stake in each district's starting area; and a flag with their team's color. "Basic pioneer stuff," he claims, as we all remember the Ingalls' ill-tempered alpaca, Ramon, and the giant calico flag flying over their little house on the prairie. What the kids are going to have to do is move all of that crap across a couple hundred yards of scrub. There's a gentle rise that Jonathan calls a "ravine" before the kids get to a small, fenced-in area where they're supposed to move everything and set it up. "These homesteads are heavy," Jonathan warns. In an interview, Mike points out the irony of being without their strongest boys for a purely physical challenge. If by "irony" he means "contrivance." The first to finish, as always, gets to be Upper Class, and they've all got an hour to finish in order to get their reward. And about that? Guylan interviews, "If Sophia picks the reward that I don't like in the Showdown, I will go insane!" Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Guylan. Even if, as Alex assures us, "Using kid power, you can haul a lot of things, actually."
Go! The roof sections of these little houses come right off, but they're big, awkward, and heavy, even if they're just canvas stretched over a wood frame. Each District delivers its roof to the new homestead site, with Red in the lead and Green close behind, followed by Blue. Yellow, putting its roof down, accidentally tips it upside down onto its fence, which, amazingly, doesn't smash either item into kindling. So these are clearly not RW/RR Challenge-quality props. There are only forty minutes left at this point according to the clock on the screen, but we'll see how reliable that countdown is in a minute or forty. Red maintains its lead as they leave the starting point with one section of wall, but with Green splitting up to carry two walls at once, Red's lead won't last long. Yellow is attempting the same strategy, but with all the four girls carrying one wall. Genius. Not that Colton or Brett is a powerhouse, but still. We see the girls putting it down and sniping at each other about who's in the most pain from carrying the load halfway there. Red drops off its first wall, and Green delivers its first two, stealing the lead.
There's some interview talk from Guylan and Savannah (Red and Green, respectively) about how they didn't need the Council, but Yellow is hurting without Blaine. Which is not surprising. Think about it -- the oldest person on that team is big, strapping Kelsey, and it's not like she can move a slab of lumber by freaking out at it. Still, "The Yellow district will never give up, no matter what," Zach vows in an interview. Guylan interviews that Jared took the lead for Red, as we see them put a wall down on Jared's toe. Lead better, Jared. Green and Red both have all their walls by now, and they get to work rebuilding them. "It was basically a pain in the butt," Michael interviews, although since the walls are simply held together with bungee cords and hooks, I don't know how it could have been any easier. Velcro, maybe? Alex takes a fall for Blue, but gets right back up. "Personally, I think that nine-year-olds rock," interviews fellow nine-year-old Mallory. They've got twenty minutes left, according to the clock, which expects us to believe that two of the teams delivered all their walls in the same amount of time it took to carry their roofs. I think not. Green maintains its lead, pretty much finished with building their house by the time Yellow arrives with the last piece of theirs. Now Green has to run back and get their livestock. Red is right behind them. Yellow's getting nowhere with the construction, but Migle is taking the lead for Blue and they're making good progress. The Yellow district seems to be bucking for a change to the Yelling district, because that's about all they're doing now.
Green leads its alpaca to its new home as Sophia interviews, "An alpaca is a cross between a sheep and a giraffe. I think." Guylan leads Red's alpaca, interviewing that he figured he had an advantage since his parents were elephant trainers and he's been around a lot of zoos. Indeed, he seems to be handling the alpaca better than he handled the shovel. Green and Red have their livestock in place as Blue erects its four walls, while Yellow only has one up. Which is not going to make for a very stable house, I hope they realize. Jonathan and the editors try to make it look like there's almost no distance between Red and Green as they "race" to finish, but since Green is shown calmly walking and Red is in a panicked charge, nobody's fooled. And Green is the Upper Class again. In an interview, Campbell nearly falls off his hay bale telling us how excited they were. Red gets to be the Merchants. There's only five minutes left, and Blue is just now sliding the roof of its house into place, but they still manage to get their animals and flag, finishing with minutes to spare.
It doesn't look so good for Yellow, who is still trying to connect its walls with only three minutes left. Zach interviews that despite knowing they would be Laborers no matter what, they were still determined to win the reward. Pharaoh interviews that Zach did a great job leading the team. As a demonstration, Zach bellows, "I will not be the reason why we lost this reward!" at his team as they finally get their four walls attached to one another. The other teams cheer Yellow on as they get their roof up into place. Only two minutes left, as they run back for their chickens, alpaca, and flag, which they seem to get all at once. They have only ten seconds left as they come up that hill to their homestead, but then the clock suspiciously disappears from the screen as they enter their yard and plant their flag, the other teams chanting "Yellow! Yellow!" the whole time. Did they make it? Jonathan stretches out the suspense, then announces they got the reward. I mean, he doesn't specifically say they made it in time, but since this is their last chance to foment rebellion against Sophia by making her pick the reward, they can't exactly let her off the hook by denying the town its reward, no matter how long it might have taken them to finish the task. Not that he says that, either. "No Greg, no Blaine, no DK or Michael, but you guys did it!" he congratulates them as everyone cheers.
Time to reveal the first reward choice. Jonathan calls Laurel over to help him pull the tarp off an item about the size of a small car. It turns out to be a stone (or possibly plastic) monument, dedicated to Bonanza City and destined to stay in the town forever. Does Santa Fe County even have a historical society? I'm serious. The monument features the Kid Nation logo over some text, which Jonathan asks Laurel to read out loud: "On this site, in 2007, young pioneers came together to do what their forefathers could not: build a better world. They worked together, sacrificed together, cried together, but most importantly, they succeeded together. This monument commemorates their efforts and will forever stand here in Bonanza City: the world's first Kid Nation." The kids seem really touched and moved, and Laurel interviews that she was near tears. "I just know that the last day will be the saddest and happiest moment of my entire life," she says.
So let's see the second option: it's a hot-air balloon ride over Bonanza City. I was wondering when the hot-air balloons would show up. New Mexico is all about the hot-air balloons. They're on the license plates and everything. Zach interviews, "How cool is that?" and Migle interviews that there aren't a lot of hot-air balloon places in Chicago. Jonathan presents the choice: "You guys want to leave your mark and leave your legacy, or do you want a hot-air balloon ride to reflect on your time in Bonanza City?" Mike interviews basically the same thing: "Once in a lifetime or for all time." Jonathan asks Sophia what her choice is going to be. Sophia looks like she kind of regrets having won the reward.
After the commercials, Jonathan calls Sophia to join him in front of everyone and tell them what her decision is. Sophia talks about how the monument will be there for the rest of their lives and onward. So she's going with the balloons. Everyone cheers. Zach sings. "Sophia chose the hot-air balloons! Thank you Sophia!" like he's singing about how they got the mustard out. Jonathan tells them that new jobs and hot-air balloon rides start tomorrow. And since it's getting dark (even though the Showdown only took an hour and it's all they've done today), they'd better head back to town.
When night falls, there's a party in the Saloon. People make speeches and soda toasts, including Zach and Migle. We learn that Migle came all the way from Lithuania (not that you can tell from her accent), and she talks about how much they've done together. Guylan interviews that Migle has improved the most. Since Migle has been in about one episode, I think we'll have to take Guylan's word for it.
Day 37. Sophia stands outside the chapel ringing the bell, summoning everyone to their hot-air balloon rides. The kids come running, and a sweeping camera shot reveals five fully inflated hot-air balloons looming right behind the town. It's quite a sight. But that's five balloons for 33 kids, yet somehow they all not only fit into the gondolas (6.6 kids each), but also leave room for pilots and camera guys, without any of the latter getting into any of the shots. I suspect they went in shifts, not that you can tell from the editing. Mike interviews that he was nervous about falling out, but as the balloons go up a whopping hundred or so feet above the town, everyone starts screaming about the thrill of seeing Bonanza City from the same angle we see it from ten or twelve times a week during scene transitions. And Mike gets over his fear in a hurry. ["Seriously, not flying very high. I speculated that they were still tied to the ground for insurance purposes." -- Miss Alli]
By some crackerjack timing, the Council arrives back in town just as the balloons are coming back down. DK smilingly interviews that he was upset about missing out. As the balloons land, many hugs are exchanged, and the Council members tell their districts about what they did. Except they make it sound more interesting than it was, not that that's hard. I suppose it's possible that Michael told his teammates, "We pretty much just spent two days in a poorly-thought-out C-plot." Michael asks Sophia if there were any problems, and Sophia says no. She doesn't look entirely pleased to be out of power. DK congratulates everyone on their adventure, and calls them back into town to get to work.
This is Blue's first time as the Cooks, and Alex is rising to the challenge, making some kind of pastry. He thinks people will love them, not least because they're "hypoallergenic." Greg is impressed by Alex's intellect, and says he deserves the Gold Star. Whereupon Alex burns himself on the stove.
Red is busy getting the Saloon ready for business. Jared's contribution is to sweep all the dust and crap into a corner, and to babble about teleportation of small particles. Wow, does Jared really hate sweeping so much that he'd rather beam the dust out of there? DK is not only supervising, but standing there in awe of Jared's talk of subatomic matter. He asks if Jared could invent something like that with the Gold Star. Jared says he could go to college and get the education to invent it. DK interviews that Jared is "freakin' brilliant." Back in the Saloon, Jared talks about "a quantum energy matter conversion so that we go anywhere in the universe instantly without a spaceship." But wouldn't you kind of want one around you anyway when you get there? Just to help you stay warm, if nothing else?
It's time for nominations, as you can tell by the long line of kids stretching out the chapel door. Sophia nominates Alex. Olivia nominates Migle. So does Taylor. Hunter nominates Alex. Alex nominates Migle. Mallory nominates Jared, probably because supporting Olivia was starting to make her look bad.
And here comes Jared himself, groping his way into the room with his red stocking cap pulled down over his entire head and his glasses on the outside. I mean, he's not recognizable, but who else would do that? Freakin' brilliant, as DK said. The Council cracks up, and Jared nominates himself, saying he's been working harder and it would mean a lot to him. Zach also nominates himself, and he's quite emotional about it. In fact, he's fighting back tears as he tells the Council that this is his last chance, and he's been trying to do things that matter. Greg is openly smirking and chuckling, and the minute Zach is gone, he tells the Council that Zach's tears were for show. DK busts on Greg for being immature. More on that subject in a moment.
Cut to Zach, stumbling down the street and weepily ranting in subtitles about what just happened: "I don't care if people listen to me or not, show me some damn respect. They were just laughing and not even listening to me." Well, we only saw Greg doing that, but whatever. He has a way of pulling focus, after all. Back in the chapel, Greg is somewhat chastened (for Greg) as he denies laughing at Zach, but an irritated DK just wants to move on. Meanwhile, Zach is on the floor of the Yellow bunkhouse, working himself up into quite a tearful lather about what jerks the Council are. Finally, with a howl of rage, he gets up and heads back to the Chapel, vowing to do something about this. Uh, he's not armed, is he? Back at the Chapel, he goes right past the other kids who are still waiting and bursts in, telling the Council, "You guys are the most terrible people I've ever met in my life." Michael. "Whaaat?"
After the ads, Zach is yelling at the Council for laughing at him when he was trying to tell them something he was passionate about. Michael assures Zach that they take him seriously, but it's Greg -- the instigator, after all -- who calls Zach over and gives him props for his speech and assures him that he respects him. Greg hugs Zach, and Zach leaves, apparently satisfied. DK is still pissed at Greg for his two-facedness. DK interviews that Greg is full of it, and that Zach does deserve the Gold Star. Which is correct, and I'm not a big Greg fan, but DK could stand to give Greg credit for smoothing things over with Zach instead of regressing into his typical defensive asshole mode. Back in the meeting, Blaine points out that Zach has been working hard. "I forget that he's ten," Michael adds, speaking for many of us. On his way back, Zach seems satisfied that he accomplished what he set out to do. And nobody had to get shot. ["Yeah, I think appearing older than he is has actually hurt Zach -- you do forget he's ten; in fact, when I first looked up that he was ten, I was really surprised, because I'd been guessing more like thirteen. He's only a year older than Alex, after all, and looked at in that light, he's very self-possessed...er, usually." -- Miss Alli]
Back to the Gold Star decision. Greg votes for Alex, on the basis of his intelligence. And then we get a cut of Alex talking to Eric about the Bonanza City economy. Which is not all that smart, because Bonanza City has an economy in the sense that ant farms do. But it's really just a setup for a proposal Alex has: "We should have futures." Aaand, he lost me. Eric, too, which makes me feel better. Greg thinks a Gold Star for Alex could one day fund a cure for cancer. But then there's Jared, who gets a clip of his own saying to Anjay, "I'm trying to figure out how to make this mass converter than can convert a small amount of quanta into a small amount of regular matter." As are we all. Back in the chapel, Greg seems ready to buy into a future Jared-invented teleportation device.
Town Hall meeting. Seems like they have one of these every week. In place of Jonathan asking how everyone feels about the Council, he remarks that they didn't have one the last few days, but they did have a sheriff. If he takes an opinion poll on Sophia we don't see it, instead skipping right to Sophia standing up and saying, "I think the arcade is discouraging verbal communication in social gatherings." She says she'd like to see people resist the temptation to play video games in order to spend time with each other. Wise of her to encourage a different choice, rather than advocating taking the choice away entirely. Colton stands and demands, "What else will we do besides work?" Hmm, seems to me that someone mentioned...talking? Morgan reiterates Sophia's point, and Markelle claims that he got to know Jared by playing air hockey with him. Nobody points out that Markelle has been sleeping in the same room with Jared for over a month. Morgan angrily says they hardly know anything about each other after more than thirty days. Olivia says to close the arcade for good, because Olivia is a tight-ass. Pharaoh, by contrast, argues, "Aaaaaa!" Another cogent point. Then everyone's talking at once, and even Jonathan slaps a hand to his forehead in alarm. Finally, Greg calls a halt to all the yelling, and Jonathan asks the Council what they want to do about the arcade. The Council talks for a moment and comes to a decision. Greg announces, "Tonight, the arcade...will be locked for good." Some of the older kids seem thrilled, hooting and cheering, while the younger ones (and Markelle) look pissed. Greg interviews it was a spur-of-the-moment decision, and that they need more bonding time. So stay longer. Sophia thanks the Council. Greg says they'll have a campfire instead and tell stories. I hope the kids who were in favor of keeping the arcade open show up and tell stories about their greatest Dance Dance Revolution triumphs.
Gold Star time. As the Council huddles, we see shots of Alex, Jared, and Zach. Not Migle, though, so I guess she's out of the running. Greg stands up and says that it was a tough decision, and although the winner isn't the biggest, strongest, or oldest, he's one of the smartest (which Zach knows eliminates him, but Jared doesn't, which just proved my point about Jared), and Alex is the winner. Big cheer from everyone, except of course Alex's best friend/brother Jared, as Alex goes up to the front, amazed at his good fortune. In an interview, Jared looks on the bright side: "If I get the Nobel Prize, let's just say that's a lot of Gold Stars." Now, I'm certainly not about to bust on Jared for not knowing off the top of his head that the monetary value of a Nobel Prize is ten million Swedish Crowns (roughly $1.3 million), because I had to look it up myself. But then he adds, "At least five." Should have quit while he was ahead. Alex thanks everyone, and uses the moment to encourage nine-year-olds everywhere. Jonathan asks Alex what he'll do with the money, and Alex says his children and grandchildren might really need it. "I mean, I don't really have any use for twenty thousand dollars." Just what 27 kids without Gold Stars want to hear. "Really?" Jonathan says, surprised. Alex says that $20,000 is a lot, but in the grand scheme of things it isn't. "It's a paradox," he says, and then has to define "paradox" for everyone. "Oh, he's so cute!" Laurel gushes, and thus Alex has won everyone over, despite being really kind of ungracious. As for what his parents will think, Alex thinks, "They'll be shocked that their nine-year-old won twenty thousand dollars." Alex interviews that his mom will tell him to hold onto the Gold Star as long as he can, since he thinks gold prices are going up. How cute is it that they all think that brass-coated paperweight is actual gold, when Jonathan is always to careful to say "worth its weight in gold"? Jonathan hands Alex the key to the phone barn and sends him off to call his parents, then sends everyone else back to their bunks.
When Alex gets his mom on the line, she's like, "Is this Alex?" He tells her about the Gold Star worth $20,000, and we hear his mom calmly say, "That is amazing. Alex. That's amazing." Rather than risk being so overcome by emotion that she displays some, Alex's mom puts Alex's brother Scott on the line, and Scott is about as blown away by Alex's news as their mom was. "That's good," Scott says. Alex's mom says they miss Alex a lot. "And we're sure your microbes do, too." Maybe more, if Alex's mom's phone manner is anything to go by. Alex's dad doesn't seem to get to talk to him, but he says to us that this is the first time Alex has been gone this long, and his mom marvels that Alex is all grown up. So I guess she can go ahead and set up that exercise room now. Sorry, Alex's microbes! Alex interviews that the Gold Star makes him feel good and bubbly inside. There's our future linguist.
As it gets dark, the Council locks up the arcade. The bonfire is going, but it looks like maybe ten or fifteen kids gathered around it. Migle says that part of her wants to go home, but an even bigger part of her wants to stay. She interviews that she wishes they could all go back to someplace together instead of scattering all over the country. I feel the same way after every TWoP summit. Anjay says something really heartbreaking: "Bonanza City's the only place I've ever really fit in." He starts crying. Jeez, bring everyone down. Laurel says they need to cherish their last few days together. Which will air week.
And behind the closing credits, it's the long-awaited return of Jared's Closing Credit Follies. In this case, he's got his face way too close to a big yellow scorpion that's crawling on a fence rail. "When I get home, I want to get an exotic pet like this," he says. He'll give him a cage and some spiders and hug him and kiss him and call him George. I just hope the camera operator is either using some kind of focus trick to make that scorpion look a lot closer to Jared's mug than it really is, or standing ready with an exterminator's wand.