I will not hassle the Minor if he or she wants to stay up late and watch Cane.
Early elimination or departure from the production makes the Minor liable for required participation in a future CBS reality production, up to and including Teen Boot Camp, Penal Colony, YouTube's Top Star Wars Kids, and/or any future versions of Rock Star.
The Minor may be asked to participate in future tapings of The Price is Right. In this event, the Minor will be expected to undergo a thorough medical and psychological examination in order to determine the Minor's dollar value.
For the purposes of the production and during such time as the Minor is involved in production, it is to be understood that the producers, crew, CBS network, and any representatives thereof, including any representatives acting on the behalf of the producers, crew, or CBS network on a freelance, temporary, or other ad hoc basis, are rubber. Conversely, it is to be understood that the Minor is glue. Consequently, any defamatory statements made by the Minor regarding the producers, crew, CBS network, or representatives thereof will necessarily and instantly be deflected from the person of the producers, crew, CBS network, or representatives thereof, and immediately adhere irrevocably to the Minor.
If the Minor launches or participates in a letter-writing campaign to save any CBS show in this or future seasons, any such letters may not include any food items. CBS is still cleaning up all those goddamn Jericho peanuts.
During production, all on-camera conversations regarding what the Minors miss most about home must include at least one reference each to Shark, CSI: Miami, and 60 Minutes.
Speaking of 60 Minutes, if Minor is approached by Steve Krofft, run.
I agree to give my female child, if applicable, the first name of "Tiffany." Similarly, I agree to give my female child, if applicable, the middle name of "Network."
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