By Joe R
So, remember how Kelly Cutrone was the only character on The Hills you didn't want to throw off the Hollywood sign? Yeah, well Bravo had one of its occasional moments of inspiration and gave her a show. I know, I love her too. If you don't remember her from The Hills (or, God forbid, The City), allow me to paint you a mental picture as we begin...
"People's Revolution is a branding and public relations firm" voices-over the stringy-haired banshee at the center of our show. And don't ask me what a "branding and public relations firm" does either. From what I've gathered, it's about fashion and hangers and yelling. I'm in. (No, but really, they produce fashion shows and photo shoots.) We meet Kelly's team: Robyn, who Kelly calls "Snow White with razorblades" (dibs on that Halloween costume); Emily, a "small-town girl" and "slayer" and who gets all smiley/giggly when she describes herself as a bitch; and then there's a collection of anywhere from six to twenty-five kids just out of school or off the bus who don't know their ass from their couture-clad elbow. Finally, we have Kelly's adorable daughter Ava. That's a show, people.
Manhattan! Chrysler Building! That weird little hook-around 5th Avenue takes at Grand Central! So it's Fashion Week, and People's Rev is putting on ten fashion shows. In between bouts of Robyn and Emily trying very hard to be intimidating, Kelly delivers her most wonderful rule: No crying. If you have to cry, you need to step outside. I'm certain this means there will be no crying this season, right? Another piece of Kelly Wisdom: "We're not really mean, but we'll say mean things to you, for sure." An uncharitable person would call Kelly manic depressive. I just think this is the only way she knows how to love. She also voices an appeal to These Troubled Financial Times and how businesses all around her are going belly-up, so they need to persevere.
Crisis #1: They're putting on a show for designer David Delfín, who is Spanish and knows many Spanish celebrities like Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem (Emily, I dare you to name a third Spanish celebrity). But the showroom is a mess! So it's up to Stephanie (blonde, clueless) to get everything ship-shape. And if you've watched The Hills at all, you know that means: push racks of clothing from one side of the room to the other. But Stephanie is new and thus was not trained on how to set up a showroom, so Robyn has to (gets to) come upstairs and critique the whole thing. By which I mean, she moves like two things around and then gives a self-important interview about how things have to be just so. David shows up with his orange hair, looking like that guy Antoine from the Road Rules season that went to Europe. Robin and Emily schmooze David and his cute business partner, but they don't bring them up to the showroom, which annoys Stephanie.