By Joe R.
So it's the day of the library opening and dedication. Kathy pretends like she's preparing for this elaborate press conference, but of course Tom tells her it's one paper, so Kathy's dreams of a Cannes-like international press event are dashed. Jessica and Tiffany, meanwhile, are keeping the sign for the building under a sheet so Kathy can't see it, but they assure her it was well and truly cribbed from the Oprah website. At the biblioteca, there are still shelves to be finished and ceilings to be repaired. Teams Griffin and Woz kick it into high gear as Kathy frets that if this thing isn't finished on time, she doesn't think she's going to be able to pass it off as Kathy Lee Gifford's, which was her Plan B. But things seem to be moving along, and Team Griffin even has some spare time at the end to fill a Kathy Griffin piñata up with candy.
So it turns out Tom's prediction of one newspaper showing up was grossly underestimated. There are three. Kathy, all pancaked out so as not to frighten the press, answers questions through an interpreter without a whole lot of grandstanding, actually. One reporter asks her if she had picked out any children as being special, and Kathy says she has: the shy girl. Oh, so she's just gonna drop Cristián like that? That's cold, Griffin. Anyway, the reporters seem to find Kathy very funny. Unlike, say, the crowd of schoolchildren who, while they may have stopped hating her so much, still don't get a whole lot out of her Oprah jokes. Via Patricio, Kathy learns that none of the kids have ever heard of Oprah (which Kathy says makes this town something of a paradise), which of course gives her free reign to talk about how Oprah is a powerful lady who tortures Mrs. Kathy. "She's a bad, bad lady who hurts people," Kathy says, and instead of translating that part, Patricio just turns to her and goes "WHAT??" Hee. I love Patricio.
So the sign is unveiled and the kids get to run around the biblioteca, which really does look much improved. Kathy's happy that the kids appear to be psyched about the books as well as the computers. And all the kids get a new backpack, too (Cristián's has a photo of Kathy in it). Then there's this six-year-old who shows up. Kathy tells us he's some kind of break-dancer, "...or one of Oprah's spies sent to steal my thunder." So the kid starts breaking it down, and he and Kathy end up in a dance battle -- one in which Kathy and her running man hold their own -- but once he starts kicking his feet up over his head it's over. Kathy also notices that it seems to be just the boys on the computer -- they apparently made a video yesterday and it's already on YouTube... the corruption begins -- so she tries to get some of the niñas to use the machines. Particularly the shy girls. The shy girls aren't biting, though, but she gets them to promise that they'll at least try the computers out in the future.
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