Some swimmers dive into an indoor pool as on-screen text informs us that this action took place in Kalamazoo, Michigan, six months ago. If you have to set something in Michigan, Kalamazoo is the place to do it. Unless you want to set it in Hell, Michigan, although Hell is kind of disappointing when you actually visit it. Anyway. Above the pool is a workout area. Cut to a locker room, where some guys are getting dressed. One guy weighs himself and is happy to see that he's lost two pounds. He makes some remark about how he loves that, in America, you can keep reinventing yourself and be someone else every day.
Karen holds up a photo of the reinvention guy to the receptionist at the gym and says that his name is Louis DiNardo. The receptionist says that he's there, but that she doesn't know exactly where, and offers to have him paged. Karen's not interested. She walks through the gym, checking out the various guys to see if any of them matches her photo.
In the locker room, DiNardo takes a towel out of his locker. Karen waltzes right into the men's locker room and shushes some guy who's like, "Um, excuse me?" She sneaks up on DiNardo, gun drawn. Some idiot guy goes, "It's a cop! Who's she looking for? Tracking somebody down, huh?" Well, not now, numbskull. Way to ruin it. DiNardo looks up, alarmed, and takes off. Karen sees him running, and gives chase. She ends up near the steam room, but DiNardo is nowhere to be found. Appropriately, Karen's hair is all curly from the humidity. Nice touch. She scans the area, but doesn't see DiNardo. She goes into the steam room and gets sucker-punched; she falls to the floor.
The on-screen text lets us know that it's today. Amos is leading a Marshal meeting. Amos hands out various warrants, but seems to be avoiding giving any to a Marshal named Edwards. Amos announces that DiNardo's warrant is back in their possession, because there was recent activity on his credit card in a Miami hardware store. Karen says she'll check it out, but Amos wants to give it to Edwards for a "fresh start." Karen keeps protesting, but Amos isn't having it.
Karen follows Amos into his office to continue pleading her case. Amos says that Karen is still pissed off about getting punched, and that "pissed-off Marshals don't do good work." Karen thinks Edwards will take three weeks to find DiNardo, and that she can get him in three days. Amos is doubtful, but offers to give her seventy-two hours. Karen accepts the challenge and walks out. Amos reminds her to "bring him back in one piece."
Karen, wearing a Pucci-inspired jacket, shows a photo of Louis to the hardware-store owner. The owner doesn't remember Louis. Karen gives him the credit-card information, and asks if he can look up what Louis bought. The guy checks his computer and says that Louis bought a "top of the line" hedge trimmer. The guy asks Karen how her hedges are doing. Hee! Did he really think that was going to work? Karen says that she lives in an apartment, and thus has no hedges (although I don't think Karen and the owner are talking about the same bush), and asks the guy to pull his security tapes for the time when the transaction took place. The guy agrees to do it, and suggests that Karen put a window box in her apartment to grow some tomatoes. Give it up, hardware-store guy. It's not going to happen. Also, you lost me with the tomatoes.
Karen walks out of the hardware store with the tapes just as a car pulls up to the curb. The two guys inside are discussing Louis as well; we learn that Louis is "number one on Mr. G's list," and that he used "the company credit card, in a hardware store no less." I'm just going to call these guys Pink and Brown, because that is the color of their shirts. And they must be gay, because Pink just picked lint off Brown's shirt collar. Come on. Pink tells Brown that while they are in the hardware store, he wants to get a new soap dish for the shower, and they argue about the color of their shower tiles. See? Straight guys never care about the color of their shower tiles. Straight guys probably couldn't tell you the color of their shower tiles, and usually that color is "soap scum white."
Karen pays a visit to Mrs. DiNardo, who claims she doesn't know where her husband is, and that she doesn't want Karen to come in. Karen says that she can come back with a bunch of Marshals and make a big fuss, and the neighbors will see. Mrs. DiNardo reluctantly lets Karen inside.
Karen shows Mrs. DiNardo a photo taken from the hardware-store surveillance tape. Mrs. DiNardo is sure that it's not Louis, as she drains a glass of wine. Karen asks if she knows the guy in the photo, and she says that she doesn't. Karen asks if Mrs. DiNardo has had any strange incidents in the last six months that might indicate that Louis was trying to make contact, like flowers or cards or phone hang-ups. Mrs. DiNardo guesses that Louis is back in Miami, but says that even when they were married, he was never home. She angrily adds that it's a shock to find out that "your mild-mannered accountant husband has shot a person and stolen three hundred thousand dollars." Karen asks if any of Louis's friends stopped by or called. Mrs. DiNardo chops the hell out of some squash (shades of Martha Stewart and the infamous cabbage on that CBS morning show) as she says that Louis wasn't the friendly type. Karen asks about girlfriends; Mrs. DiNardo gives her the stink-eye, and then says she's sure there was someone, but that she doesn't know any names. Mrs. DiNardo tells Karen that she's smart not to get married, because "sooner or later they all screw around on you." Bitter, party of one! Karen asks if Louis liked gardening, and Mrs. DiNardo says that he wouldn't even mow the lawn when they were married. Karen hands over her card and asks Mrs. DiNardo to call if she hears anything. Mrs. DiNardo pours herself another glass of wine and says that she considers her husband to be dead.
Marshall and Jethro play gin. Jethro accuses Marshall of saving jacks, and Marshall claims that he's not, so you know that he totally is. Who admits to his opponent what cards he is saving while playing gin? An idiot, that's who. And Marshall is no idiot. Karen sits down at their table just as Marshall declares that he has gin. Karen tells him that Louis DiNardo is back in town. Marshall wants to bring up one of his old stories about a taxi driver who knocked out Marshall's front tooth. Karen tries to pull the subject back to DiNardo, since she's clearly heard this story a million times, and tells Marshall about the credit card and the hardware store. Marshall continues telling his story, which basically ends with Marshall beating up the taxi driver later. Karen is mystified as to why DiNardo would buy a hedge trimmer, and then admits that she told Amos she would find him in three days, and that she really wants to do that. Marshall advises her not to let it get personal. Karen asks if the taxi driver wasn't personal, and Marshall says it's "a point well taken."
Isabella Hoffman walks up and greets Marshall, introducing herself as Mrs. Mulraney. She asks if the restaurant is his office, and Marshall says that his office is being painted. Marshall introduces her to Karen and Jethro. Karen's phone rings, so she apologizes for having to leave, and suggests that Mrs. Mulraney check out Marshall's office when the paint job is done. Marshall shakes his head at Karen as she walks off.
Karen is talking to Mrs. DiNardo on the phone, and Mrs. DiNardo has clearly had a few more glasses (or bottles) of wine since last we saw her. She says that she didn't give Karen all of the information she had earlier, in a misguided attempt to protect her husband. But then she realized he never did anything for her. Mrs. DiNardo says that her husband had a girlfriend named Carrie, and that Mrs. DiNardo has Carrie's address, since Louis sent Carrie flowers and left the receipt in his pants pocket. Mrs. DiNardo dictates the address to Karen.
Back in the restaurant, Mrs. Mulraney says that she knows her husband is cheating on her. Marshall says that cheating is "in the hard-wiring" for men. I hope he's just trying to snag a client and doesn't actually think that. Marshall wants to talk about the deliverables. Mrs. "Call Me Elaine" Mulraney says that she wants whatever it takes. Marshall asks if she wants to know the identity of the other woman. Elaine asks if Marshall can just shoot the other woman for her. Marshall says he's not in that line of work, but that he could refer her. Elaine laments that then she would have to go to jail. Marshall agrees that the food is lousy, and Elaine says that she doesn't look good in orange. Elaine pulls out an envelope with information on her husband, and then asks about the fee. She's just now asking about the fee? Marshall says that it's five thousand dollars, and that he'll need ten percent up front for expenses. Damn. I need to become a private investigator. Elaine is shocked at the price, but Marshall says that she'll get what she pays for. Elaine counts out five hundreds and hands them over. Marshall promises to call as soon as he has something, and Elaine flirts her way out of there.
Pink and Brown walk into a super-stylish and modern house, discussing what a horrible outfit Cameron Diaz was wearing on Leno last night. Because they're gay. I don't know if you got that. Pink and Brown report to Mr. G that Louis bought a hedge trimmer. Mr. G is upset that Louis has time to trim his hedges and they still can't find him. Brown promises that they are working on it. Mr. G tells them that he wants his money back, and that if the police find Louis first, there won't be any money at all. Pink and Brown throw out a lot of excuses, but Mr. G isn't buying. He wants Louis, and he wants him soon.
Karen walks up to an apartment and knocks on the door. Byron from Andy Richter Controls the Universe answers. I love that guy! Karen asks for Carrie McAllister, and Byron responds, "You're looking at him." D'oh! See, it's Carey and not Carrie! Ah, you had probably already figured it out.
Inside the apartment, Carey (formerly Byron) looks at Karen's photo from the hardware-store surveillance tapes and says that it's definitely not Louis. Karen says that they're pretty sure Louis is back in town, and asks Carey if he knows why Louis might return. Carey says it definitely wouldn't be for his wife, because they hadn't had sex for two years before Louis left. Carey explains that Louis was "in the closet until he met [Carey]." Karen asks if Carey knows the guy in the photo, and Carey does not. Carey doesn't think that Louis would trim hedges, ever. Karen thinks that Louis is a complicated guy. Carey says he came home one day and Louis was gone, without a note or a phone call. Carey claims that Louis was taking a lot of drugs, and that Carey urged Louis to turn himself in, get a good lawyer, and try to get a lighter sentence, but that Louis wouldn't listen. Carey says that now Louis has the Marshals after him. Carey pauses and says that Louis was an accountant, and that it was just a job to him, and that he kept talking about reinventing himself, to the point where he discussed plastic surgery. Karen nods.
A guy trims hedges in his yard. A "lady" walks up and hands him a drink, and they kiss. That's no lady! That's totally a dude!
Karen goes to meet with Mr. G. He leads her into his fancy office and sits in a stainless-steel chair, which seems a little less than practical. Karen asks if they can cut through the small talk, and asks when was the last time he saw Louis. Mr. G says he hasn't seen him since Louis killed Mr. G's assistant and stole three hundred thousand dollars from his safe. Mr. G adds that his assistant was "a dear friend," and expresses anger that Karen didn't catch Louis the first time. Karen asks why he had so much money in his safe. Mr. G banters about that for a while, and then says that he thinks Louis might be "somewhere in the south of France." Karen compliments Mr. G's office and asks if "running a high-end extortion racket" is lucrative. Mr. G says he thought they were cutting through the small talk. Karen commands him to call if Louis surfaces, and adds that she's watching him. Mr. G does not look scared.
Marshall takes photos of some old guy kissing a young blonde. Mr. Mulraney, I presume? Marshall takes a break to call Karen to ask about Louis. Karen explains that Carey, the flower recipient, is a guy, and that Louis used to work as "a bill collector" for Mr. G. Marshall says that means he beat people up who owed Mr. G money. Karen notices Amos nearby and hangs up. Amos asks how Karen's search is going. Karen says she's running down leads, and tells Amos about the varying genders of Louis's conquests. Amos nods. Karen says that someone who was definitely not Louis used the credit card. Amos offers to have Edwards help her out. Karen doesn't want help. Amos pushes. Karen refuses. Amos tells her just to find the guy, and walks off.
Carey lies in his apartment, listening to opera and drinking wine. Because he's gay, and that's what gay people do. Listen to opera and drink wine. Pink and Brown walk in and greet him. Carey says he doesn't know where Louis is. Then there's a really long and not-that-interesting bit in which Pink and Brown talk about opera and I don't know if it was meant to educate the viewers or prove their gayness or what, but it went on for far too long. Also, Pink is played by Bodhi Elfman, and he is a terrible actor, which contributes to the annoyance I feel. They ask Carey where Louis is again, and he says he doesn't know. Pink suggests shooting Carey in the knee to see if he's lying. Brown does so, and Carey collapses on the floor. Brown asks Carey where Louis is once again. Carey again says he doesn't know. Brown shoots Carey in the chest three times. Aw. I liked Carey.
Carey's apartment is now a crime scene, crawling with cops. Karen walks in and is hailed by Sergeant Novak, a lovely Scully-type in a suit. Or is that redundant? Novak runs down what they know, which is pretty much everything we saw in the scene. Karen explains what the killers were looking for, and gives a short summary of background information. Novak is familiar with Mr. G and his "little protection racket." Karen says that it was probably meant to send a message to Louis, and when Novak says she thinks that it's extreme, Karen says that it's personal, because Louis killed Mr. G's "assistant." Karen asks if the box of things nearby belonged to DiNardo, and Novak says that it did. Karen asks if she can take a look, and Novak says Karen can't see it until the cops are done with it, because it's considered evidence in a homicide. Karen asks to be copied on the forensic reports, and Novak agrees, and then she is called away by a cop. Karen sneaks over to the box of DiNardo's belongings; she pulls a pill out of a plastic bag, and then pockets it. She walks out.
Karen wakes up to the sound of her phone ringing. She answers it, and it's Marshall, who does that annoying "I didn't wake you, did I?" thing that I really hate. Like, yes you did, and don't try to make me feel guilty for sleeping! Plus, it's 7:30 AM, so it's understandable that Karen was still asleep. Karen explains that she was on a homicide crime scene until 3 in the morning. Marshall asks if the stiff was Louis, and Karen says that it was Carey. Marshall asks who did it, and Karen says that's not her problem. She asks Marshall if he's ever stolen evidence. Marshall says he did it all the time. Karen asks what kind of trouble she could get into, and Marshall says, "Three to five." He drops the phone in order to take some photos, and then picks it up to tell Karen what he was doing. Karen thought the Mulraney case was over, but Marshall says he had a hunch. Marshall explains that Jethro always overplays his hands, which led to his hunch, and then he takes some more pictures. I feel like Marshall's subplot got cut to fit in the whole Pink/Brown opera thing, and I do not like it.
Karen goes into Amos's office and tells him that she wants to run a fake funeral announcement for Carey, to try to get Louis to show up. Amos thinks it's a waste of time and money, because Carey's body won't be released for thirty days, since it was unclaimed. Aw, poor Carey. Karen explains that they will stake out the fake funeral and see what happens. Amos thinks they'll look stupid if no one shows up. Karen thinks it's worth a shot. Amos drags his feet some more, arguing that he doesn't want to call in a favor just to get a fake pastor. Karen tells Amos he doesn't want to die with too many people owing him favors. Amos says he isn't planning on dying soon. Karen says he could get hit by a bus tomorrow. Amos shoots her an awesome look and just says, "Thanks."
Karen deals cards to her dad's poker buddies. I don't know what kind of crazy poker they're playing, but I was totally lost throughout this scene. Then again, I've never played poker. I only know what I've seen on television. Television! It teaches you everything! Except how to actually play poker! Marshall asks Karen about the fake funeral. Karen says it's tomorrow, and Amos wasn't very happy about it. Marshall asks if she thinks Louis killed Carey, and Karen says that she doesn't. All I know about the poker game is that Karen successfully bluffs Jethro. Marshall says that he's going to dinner with Mrs. Mulraney at Delmonico's. Karen wants to know why, and Marshall replies, "They've got good clams." Heh. The game gets to a point where Jethro has to call or fold (or something) and Karen makes an adorable "Bring it!" gesture to Jethro, who folds. Karen wins!
Fake funeral. A pastor sits in front of a bunch of empty folding chairs while Karen watches from the distance, sitting in her car. Again, poor Carey. Karen's phone rings, and it's the forensic report from Louis's pill, which she pocketed at Carey's apartment. It's estrogen. The lab guy asks Karen out, and she turns him down and hangs up.
There's a time cut, and it's 10:48 PM. Amos calls and asks Karen how long she's going to stay out there. Karen says it's a nice night for a stakeout. Amos accuses her of trying to get overtime. Karen makes some jokes. Amos makes her promise that she'll call for backup if Louis shows up.
Another time cut and it's 2:37 AM. Karen heaves a big sigh. I've been watching too much Buffy, because I keep expecting a vampire to pop out.
Yet another time cut, and it's 4:54 AM. Karen puts on her coat, and sees headlights approaching. She calls for backup. A car parks down the street. Karen gets out of her car, gun drawn. A woman approaches Carey's grave with a bunch of flowers. Karen says, "Hello, Louis." It's the wife of the hedge-trimmer guy. She asks how Karen knew, and Karen tells her put her hands in the air. Louis says, "It's Lois." Karen tells her to get on her knees with her hands behind her head. Lois complies. Karen grabs her cuffs, and a shot is fired. It's Pink and Brown, in a car. Karen ducks for cover as Lois takes off. Karen returns fire, and shoots out Pink and Brown's tires. Just then, Karen's backup arrives. Karen realizes that Lois is gone, and shakes her head.
The cemetery is now a crime scene, with tons of cops walking around it. Way to ruin the evidence there, dudes. Sgt. Novak walks up to Karen and asks if she's okay, and what happened to Louis. Karen says that Louis turned into a woman, and that he was taking estrogen. Novak folds her arms and asks how Karen figured that out. Karen, busted, says that it was just a hunch, and that "Louis is now Lois." Novak asks where Karen is going to look now. Karen asks if she can take a look at the flowers Lois brought to the gravesite, but Novak says they are evidence and will need to be impounded. Novak says she'll let Karen know if they turn anything up on Lois. Karen thanks her. Novak nods, and then says that the flowers aren't really evidence until they are bagged. She smiles and walks away. Karen smiles and copies down the name of the florist.
Back in Karen's office, the clock reads 8:00 AM. Karen snatches up her phone and calls the florist, begging for someone to be in. She talks to the manager about a delivery address on a bouquet of white chrysanthemums. Lois had the flowers delivered and then took them to the cemetery? Well, I guess not many florists are open at 5:00 AM, so it's not like she could pick them up on the way there.
Lois sits at the breakfast table, listening to her husband drone on about teeth and gums, looking worried. Her husband says that she looks tired, and Lois says she was just restless last night. Karen pulls up outside Lois's house and rings the bell. Lois looks scared, and her husband looks annoyed. Her husband answers the door, and Karen asks if Lois is home. Her husband says she is, and asks why. Karen flashes her badge. The husband asks what this is all about. Karen peeks inside, and spots Lois, who takes off. The best part is that Lois is wearing a fuchsia negligee and peignoir throughout this scene, and yet still manages to look like a dude wearing a wig.
Karen chases Lois into the back yard. Lois tries to climb up on a chair in order to get over a fence, but the chair slips and she falls to the ground. This gives Karen time to catch up, and they start beating the crap out of each other. Is this really a cat fight? I guess so. Karen totally wins, and Lois ends up on the ground, cuffed. Lois's husband runs out and asks what's going on. Karen says that Lois has an outstanding warrant. Her husband asks what for, and Lois says that she hit a guy who came on to her. Karen doesn't correct this lie. Lois says that before she met her husband, she had a problem with anger. Karen gets the cuffs on Lois and starts leading her away. Lois's husband asks where Karen is taking his wife, and Karen says they're going to the Federal Courthouse. Lois's husband promises to have a lawyer down there by that afternoon.
Out front, Lois thanks Karen for not telling her husband the truth, because it would break his heart, and if she couldn't tell Carey, she can't tell her husband. Karen is silent, and opens her rear car door to put Lois in the back. Karen totally does that thing I want to do where she cups the top of Lois's head so she doesn't hit it on the door jamb. It would have been kind of funny if Lois was wearing a wig, and it came off in Karen's hand. I guess this isn't that kind of show. Lois says that she left her wife for a man, and then she went to the dentist one day and fell in love with a straight dentist named Stan. So she met Stan when she was still Louis? But didn't start dating him until she was Lois? I'm a little confused on the timeline here. Lois says she's probably going to do some serious time. Karen agrees. Lois says she stole the money to pay for the operation, and she wonders if the court will cut her some slack for that. Lois says she just used the wrong credit card, which she knows was "pretty dumb." Lois asks if they will send her to a women's prison. Karen clearly isn't sure how to respond to that, so she says, "That depends." Lois quickly says, "It's gone. I don't miss it at all." What, her testosterone? Oh. OH! Lois asks Karen, "Got any eyeshadow?" Karen rolls her eyes and they take off.
Karen walks into the office. Edwards asks how she's doing with DiNardo. Karen calmly says, "Done." Phil checks his watch and announces that Karen got it done in seventy-two hours, as promised. Amos asks Karen if she had any trouble. Karen says no. Amos tells her that she looks exhausted, and that she should go home and get some sleep. Karen says she will when she finishes the paperwork. She starts typing up a report, and pauses when she gets to the box where she has to fill in DiNardo's sex. Finally, she types "Female."
Marshall has a drink at the bar at Delmonico's. Mrs. Mulraney shows up and apologizes for being late. Marshall orders her a drink. Nearby, Karen has a drink with Novak, who I just realized looks a lot like Felicity Huffman. They could be sisters. Novak announces that they got ballistics evidence linking the cemetery incident to Carey's killing. Karen asks about Mr. G, and Novak says that Pink and Brown are dying to flip on him. Karen asks if they'll charge Mr. G with conspiracy, and Novak says that she thinks they can get him for murder one, because he ordered Carey's hit. Novak pauses and says that they need to stop talking shop; Karen agrees.
Marshall and Mrs. Mulraney sit at a table. Delbert McClinton's "If You Can't Lie No Better" plays (although I'm not sure whose version it is, but McClinton wrote the song). Mrs. Mulraney asks if Marshall has the materials for her. Marshall says that he does, and suggests that they get his fee out of the way first, so that they can set business aside and have a nice meal. Mrs. Mulraney hands Marshall an envelope. He checks inside and then hands over an envelope of his own. Mrs. Mulraney slides out some photos and starts checking them out. The first few are of the old guy kissing the blonde. But then Mrs. Mulraney sees one of herself, talking to the blonde from the earlier photos. Marshall says, "Ordinarily, I wouldn't shy away from a woman who was setting up her cheating husband, but you're not even his wife. I met this guy, and his wife. Now, I don't know where this scam of yours was going, but as of now I've got five thousand of your dollars and another set of those to give to the D.A. in case he happens to meet me." Mrs. Mulraney grabs her things and calls Marshall a bastard. She runs out. Marshall says he's been called worse, and offers to get the check. So she was trying to blackmail Mrs. Mulraney? Again, I feel like this subplot got cut a lot, because it took me, like, three viewings to figure out what the hell happened, and while this show is usually subtle, it's not generally obtuse.
Karen and Novak are still having drinks nearby. Karen sees Mrs. Mulraney rush out. Marshall walks up and says hello. Karen introduces Novak to her father and comments that Mrs. Mulraney seemed to be in a hurry. Marshall says she didn't like the clams; he tells them to have a great dinner, and then walks out. Novak turns to Karen and asks if she's seeing anyone at the moment. Karen catches her snap and says that she is. Novak says, "A guy?" Karen says it is. They both laugh to relieve the tension, and take a drink. To Karen's credit, she still hangs out with Novak and doesn't cut the date short or anything.
Outside, Marshall passes a bum holding a sign that says he needs money for serious dental work. Marshall starts to walk off, but then turns back and gives Mrs. Not Mulraney's money to the bum, advising him to make sure he flosses. The bum looks in the envelope and doesn't really react, which was a little disappointing.