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An unbelievably great episode, with surprises all over the place and a body count straight out of a Tarantino film. Mooney calls Lee in the middle of the night and tells him that thanks to an anonymous tip, a bunch of corpses of murder victims were discovered on his property and he's suspected of a shady deal with local crime. Immediately realizing that Mooney is now in Boyd's pocket, Lee turns on the light to find Boyd (probably let in by Mara) sitting there; he goes for his gun, but Boyd's beaten him to it. Boyd intones that profiting off murder victims will be a stain on Lee's reputation so great that it'll be no surprise he killed himself (and the unstated addition is that now his testimony against Ava won't be credible), and having already served as judge and jury, he now plays executioner as he wraps the weakened Lee's hand around the gun and forces him to blow his own brains out. It's like Boyd heard me contend that he prefers not to kill and decided to personally argue the point.
In Canada, ALAN TUDYK finds Will Sasso and -- after obtaining info at gunpoint on what he gave the Feds -- sends him off to that great Tim Horton's in the sky. Soon after, Art takes it upon himself to find Picker and in doing so he realizes that Alan Tudyk is after him as well. It looks awfully likely that Alan Tudyk means to kill Picker right in the middle of a diner, but Art catches him in the parking lot and persuades him it might not be the best idea for anyone concerned. Art then strides in and sits down with Wynn, Mike and Picker, and Picker is not so pleased to realize Art knows all about him, but consents to take a walk with Art when he tells him his business is unofficial. All this congeniality, though, is interrupted when Alan Tudyk walks in, not having been so put off by Art after all, and drips menace all over everything and everyone as he tells Picker to come with him if he doesn't want his family to suffer. It really seems like a firefight might happen, but Alan Tudyk eventually leaves while making it clear he's not going anywhere on a broader scale.
Wendy Crowe comes up from Florida to collect Kendal, whose case worker just so happens to be Allison. Allison, of course, lets Raylan know about this development, so Raylan makes sure to tell Wendy it'd be in all her kin's best interests to get her brothers out of Kentucky for good. Wendy, however, isn't impressed -- and neither is Allison once she figures out that Raylan used Kendal as a pawn in his campaign against the Crowes. Raylan's not thrilled to hear that lecture, nor is he too psyched when he tries to have Vasquez revoke Darryl's parole and Vasquez tells him he's too busy, because Picker's in the house. Raylan also learns that Art went to Detroit, and he grimly sits in as Vasquez lets everyone know that Alan Tudyk is "a high-value target at the DOJ" by the name of "Elias Marcos, Theo Tonin's consigliere and one-man Pretorian guard." It also comes out that Tonin recently left Tunisia thanks to a heart ailment, but Picker is not willing to cooperate on any front, so Raylan asks Art for two minutes alone with him. When Art grants that, Raylan supposes Picker wants to take Marcos out himself and as such has an idea where to find him. After some quiet, I'm-not-threatening-you-just-stating-facts work from Raylan, Picker sends him and Art to a shipping warehouse. While they're looking around, Raylan asks Art why he went to Detroit, but Art doesn't get a chance to answer before Alan Tudyk starts shooting at them with an automatic weapon. Raylan ends up dropping him dead, which is a little anticlimactic, until they find Theo Tonin hiding in another container, which AMAZING.
Wendy, meanwhile, takes Kendal back to Audrey's despite thinking that Raylan had every right to haul him out of there, and she's in the process of chewing Darryl out when she realizes he wanted her to come up there for the sake of the family dynamic -- she's better at wrangling wild cards like Danny than he is. Wendy isn't interested, however, and warns Darryl that with Raylan coming after his parole he at the very least needs to find a suitable place for Kendal so CPS doesn't haul him away again. They decide to "do the old thing," and we'll have to wait until week to find out whatever horrible developments that may entail.
Boyd walks into the bar to find Darryl waiting for him; Jean-Baptiste is there too, and the two of them drop some thinly veiled menace in Boyd's direction until he draws on them. Darryl tells Boyd he wants the money back from Audrey's, but Boyd isn't impressed and kicks them out. Boyd then talks to a "Hays Workman," who tells him he knows Boyd's solid but he's having trouble with the idea of never seeing his wife and kids again. It's unclear what he means -- until he walks in on a public meeting between Mooney, Boyd and Mara and shoots Mooney dead. Boyd then explains to Mara that Workman was terminal (thanks to black lung, which suggests he and Boyd go back to the coal mines), so he agreed to off Mooney in exchange for money for his family -- that money that Mara thought was hers. Boyd tells her to leave Harlan and never come back, but might she be a loose end that comes back to bite him in much the way Cassie did last season?
Boyd calls a meeting with Hot Rod, who recalls Boyd's dad fondly before offering him half the take he stole to square things between them. Boyd, however, is more interested in the following deal: Hot Rod pays him nothing, but he turns Johnny over to him and helps him smuggle heroin into Kentucky from Mexico. Hot Rod isn't so sure about going the horse business, which is far riskier than weed, but Boyd gets his attention when he offers to cut him in for half. Hot Rod duly has his men cover Johnny, intending to turn him over to Boyd. But the script is neatly flipped when, as it turns out, Johnny had paid Hot Rod's men off to be in his pocket, so that's bad for Boyd, although possibly not as bad as it'll be for Hot Rod. Also, Boyd's machinations with Lee and Mooney work, and Ava's lawyer tells her she'll be a free woman the day -- but Danny Strong, with an assist from Ava's cellmate, shanks himself cosmetically and pins it on Ava. A wild-eyed Boyd goes back to the prison only to learn Ava's already been transferred to the state pen, so the second half of the episode is definitely not as good for Boyd as the first.
What else? Danny is a loose cannon who gives Kendal a bunch of shit, and Jean-Baptiste decides he's had enough and literally challenges him to a duel to the death. Danny, like all cowardly bullies, backs off from a straight fight but then blows Jean-Baptiste away with a shotgun once he gets the chance before ordering Kendal not to say anything, because no one had died in like ten minutes and things were slowing down.
In the end, the marshals and Vasquez are delighted that Art's getting such a huge collar so late in his career; also, possibly to thank Raylan for solving his Alan Tudyk/Theo Tonin problem, Picker tells Vasquez that there was a Federal agent present when Sammy killed Augustine… Barkley. So everything looks great for Raylan -- until he turns back and confesses to Art (who still looked like he suspected Raylan) that it actually wasn't Barkley -- "and I can tell you that for a fact." DUN!
Want more? The full recap starts right below!A phone rings on a bedside nightstand, and through the darkness Lee grabs the phone and groggily says hello. It's Mooney, who's calling with the news that he and his men got an anonymous tip earlier that led them to "a pretty gruesome discovery." Whether you apply Mooney's personal standards or the show's, I'm willing to bet he's not exaggerating. And indeed, they found several corpses -- so that's what the very last scene last week was all about -- stashed away in one of Lee's funeral homes, and from the prison tats and blunt-force evidence, he's concluded that they're murder victims. He goes on that his anonymous tipster "said that we would find this horror show because you made a deal with the local criminal element." It's at this point Lee figures out he's lost Mooney to Boyd: "You told me he was dead." Mooney simply hangs up, whereupon Lee turns on the bedside lamp and starts moving to raise holy hell… only to discover Boyd sitting quietly in a chair.
Lee goes for the gun in the nightstand, but Boyd smugly produces it. And in case it wasn't clear, that suggests Mara's complicity, because he wouldn't want to risk searching the whole room and waking Lee up. (Of course, her question to Boyd about whether he could get multiple bodies last episode is even greater evidence that she was in on this whole plan.) Another grim sign for Lee is that Boyd is wearing gloves as he intones that disposing of murder victims for profit, "that leaves a bad taste in a Christian's mouth." Getting to his feet as ominous music plays, Boyd continues that people in Harlan will never forget and "will marvel at your debasement and venality." Even Johnny probably wouldn't begrudge him the ten-dollar words in this little speech. Coming close, he concludes that the people of Harlan "will take your suicide as the last act of a coward," and even at this point I thought Boyd might be using this whole scenario to leverage Lee, that he might offer him some way out of this scenario, but no -- he tellingly notes that Lee's "reputation is ruined" before intoning, just like a judge in medieval times might: "Death will not be an end to your suffering." With that, he pushes him down onto the bed, wraps the weakened man's hand around the gun, and points it up into his chin, and Lee desperately tries a "Mr. Crowder," but those prove to be his last words. There's no cutaway for the shot, either, as a nice fine spray of blood immediately decorates the wall, showing once again how much the relevant crew position earns its pay. I don't want to tell the show its business, but with an amazing cold open like that, the rest of the episode's bound to be a letdown, right?
In Windsor, Ontario, Will Sasso emerges from an industrial-looking building, briefcase in hand, and just as he opens his car, a man accosts him from behind: "You dropped a toonie!" Will Sasso replies that he doesn't think he did, and he'd be better served to draw his weapon rather than issue a polite denial, but that's Canada for you. ALAN TUDYK -- because that's who it is don't you know -- flips the toonie up into the air, and Will Sasso watches it land at his feet, whereupon Alan Tudyk draws his own weapon. He gives us a timeline check by saying it was four days earlier that Will Sasso, whose hands are now in the air, talked to the Feds in Detroit, and now Will Sasso is going to let him know him what he told them. Will Sasso denies knowledge of what he's talking about at first, but when Alan Tudyk shoots him in the hand, his attitude gets more tractable, as you might expect. Alan Tudyk makes hilariously sympathetic faces as he says they're going to try this again, so Will Sasso blurts that he told them about the Fed on the airstrip the night Augustine was killed -- and also that if they wanted the guy who killed Sammy, it was Picker and he could be found in Kentucky. Alan Tudyk's, like, okay, thanks, but Will Sasso shows that he's not entirely getting what Alan Tudyk's about when he breathes, "You shot my hand!" "Alan Tudyk apologizes for that… and then puts two more into Will Sasso's chest. Best part? The Foley guys go nuts with the sound of the toonie dropping to the floor once again.
Oh, look, it's Wendy Crowe come up from Florida to collect her brother, Kendal. Allison is dealing with the case and she's just releasing Kendal, who's trying to get the machine by the wall to dispense him a cocoa, into his sister's care when Raylan turns up, having gotten a text from Allison. Wendy isn't too psyched to see Raylan, but Raylan explains that as the case officer, Allison sent him, the "officer officer," a courtesy text. He asks Kendal how he's doing, and when Kendal replies that he's "about to sell blood" to get a cocoa, Raylan flips him a dime against Wendy's wishes. Wendy uses that as an example of Raylan's campaign of harassment against her family, but Raylan points out that it's difficult to defend having a fourteen-year-old boy slinging beers in a whorehouse. Hilariously, I was wondering if the actor, Jacob Lofland, might be playing older given his high voice, but he's actually seventeen according to Wikipedia. Fits with him being a pretty good actor, at least.
Wendy makes to take Kendal out of there, as it's a long drive back to Florida, but Raylan stops her to say that whether she's a true white sheep or just a lackey for her scumbag brothers, he wants her family out of Kentucky, and he'll go so far as to have Darryl's parole reinstated. Wendy, however, isn't intimidated and tells Raylan essentially that she'll bury him in injunctions that will allow Darryl to stay wherever in America he wants. She leaves, but not without Kendal chucking his cocoa out while wondering if the machine's hooked up to the septic tank. Hee. I think this kid and Loretta's ex-boyfriend would get along well, somehow. Raylan's problems don't end there, either, as Allison tells him he's allowed to have a problem with the Crowes, "but using that kid in that fight is nowhere near fine." Raylan replies that he was trying to help the boy, which may be true, but Allison just scoffs for him to get some cocoa. "It's delicious." Given Kendal's comment, that may be a really veiled way for her to tell him to eat shit.
Art is staking out a diner where Wynn and Mike are on view through the window when he sees Picker park and enter. Complicating the matter, though, is Alan Tudyk, who obviously has also been checking the place out. He gets out of his car, but Art accosts him in the parking lot. Thinking he's a salesman, Alan Tudyk tries to put him off, but Art asks him if he always waits in his car for an hour before getting his breakfast? As the music goes very tense, Alan Tudyk, who really looks kind of washed out (sorry, but also, the black overcoat and pants aren't helping) and kind of Alpha-inDollhouse-like, asks if he knows Art, and the answer's no, but when he starts to head off again, Art grabs his arm and asks what his business in the diner is. Alan Tudyk gives off some more of his weary attitude, but when Art starts to tell him what he'd like to see, Alan Tudyk replies, "My cock? Sorry, princess." Rude! Not to mention, Alan Tudyk, you're not exactly looking your sexiest right now. Good job on all the menace, though. Art takes no offense, but he does position himself between Alan Tudyk and the diner and offer that he could officially arrest Alan Tudyk "on suspicion" and by way of that gather an awful lot of information about him. Alan Tudyk decides to make a strategic exit, but before he goes, Art snaps a photo of him with his camera phone. Art, you may be in an office a lot these days, but I do still love seeing you in the field.
In the diner, Art walks in and plunks himself down with Mike, Wynn and Picker (Wynn, seeing him coming: "Oh, wonderful"), and after some clarification of titles (Raylan is a Deputy Marshal, Art is a "Chief Deputy Marshal"), Art identifies the man he came to see as "Ethan Picker," who does not look at all thrilled to hear that Art knows who he is. Art goes on to wonder if Picker's "noble profile" is thanks to his Greek heritage, but Picker replies that he got his nose "from a surgeon in Beverly Hills." Heh. Art asks Picker to take a short walk with him, and neither Wynn nor Picker is initially fond of the idea, but Art clarifies that he's not there on official business. "If I were, I'd be compelled to ask Mr. Picker here about the murder of Sammy Tonin. All I really want is a word." Whether it's thanks to Art's correct use of the subjunctive or just that he's generally persuasive, Picker gets up to oblige -- AND THEN ALAN TUDYK WALKS INTO THE DINER. Man, I love twists I honestly don't see coming, and this episode is bursting with them.
Picker looks at him with interest as Art urgently instructs a waitress to stay calm, but to get people out of there as quickly as she can. When she tries to pass Alan Tudyk, he pushes her into a booth before stepping forward to face Art. The music is dark and foreboding, all drums and minor-key cellos, as Art conversationally notes that Alan Tudyk changed his mind, and Alan Tudyk agrees, as it's more interesting this way. Art asks him to lift his arms so he can search for weapons, getting this reply: "I've got an FN .45 and a Walther." Those do qualify. Art darkly asks if that's really how he wants to play it, but Alan Tudyk doesn't answer, instead looking past him to Picker and half-whispering: "You know why I'm here." Picker disparagingly supposes it's because he's a "boot-licking errand boy," but Alan Tudyk replies that he's only saying that because he knows he's not there to kill him. "If I were, there wouldn't be talking." Mike then casually reaches for his weapon, but Alan Tudyk informs "Shitfingers" that he sees him, so Art tells everyone to chill. Alan Tudyk says he just wants to give Picker a ride, but Picker tells him he's going for a walk with Art. "A long walk." Alan Tudyk thinks that wouldn't be such a good idea, and you know I love Wynn but even for him his "Does anybody mind if I order" seems like a stretch. I don't need to you to have a death wish, Wynn; you're not expendable in my book.
Alan Tudyk then makes threats against Picker's family before reiterating his wish for Picker to come with him, but Art won't allow it: "I'm gonna give you ten seconds to leave and then I'm gonna shoot you." If that sounds Raylan-esque, you don't have to tell Wynn, insouciant as ever: "FYI, that's kind of a thing with these marshals." Alan Tudyk wonders if Art's that good, and Art sighs that he's getting old, but at this distance he'd still back himself. It's probably fair to point out that even if Alan Tudyk were to manage to outdraw Art, the other three would surely kill him, so maybe that's a factor in Alan Tudyk supposing they don't need to make the six o'clock news here. "Besides, a thing like this has no expiration date." Don't tell that to the background people who have gone back to their coffee and doughnuts like this were no more than a performance piece. He leaves, and Picker starts to say he's changed his mind, but Art won't hear of it. Even Wynn is like, "Take the walk, Mr. Picker." Art, however, says they're no longer doing that and tells Picker to shut up rather than answer his question about what they're getting up to instead. You'll figure it out soon enough, my fakely noble friend.
Dewey, looking haunted, talks about how you can think you're one kind of person; you can do things that need to be done and try to have a little fun in between. "That's who you figure you are, all them things you done." It's not likely to be published in any literary review, but his point seems to be that suddenly you can do something that's not so easy to fold into your identity, and the two fine ladies in his trailer seem to get what he's saying even if they don't necessarily agree: "I ain't the things I've done! If I was, goddamn, I'd be some jacked-up old piece a-pussy." Dewey struggles to express himself as he explains that if you do something you've never done before, stuff can change, and now it's the other one's turn: "Is this 'cause I stuck my finger up your butt last time?" Hee. With the philosophy seminar going nowhere, Dewey gives the two women gifts; one of them ("Mina") gets a "turtledog," a carving made by Dewey's grandfather, and the other one, "Tina," gets the necklace (I think it's decorated with alligator teeth) he's wearing that he says is his most prized possession -- "but I don't want nothin' more that come from Florida, anyway anyhow." With that, he leaves, whereupon Mina asks Tina, "Wanna trade?" She does not, so Mina tosses her little trinket aside. Aw… but also hee.
Boyd comes into Johnny's and sees Jean-Baptiste by the entrance and Darryl sitting at the bar; his eyes go to Jimmy, and Jimmy gives him a tense "dunno" look in response. Understanding each other, though, Jimmy brightly offers that it's been a while, and Boyd orders four fingers of "Elmer T." (Elmer T. Lee being a bourbon brand on the Buffalo Trace label). Without turning around, Darryl approvingly offers that that's a strong drink, and Boyd replies that most people are too cheap to pour a true double these days. "That's what's wrong with this world; everybody's on the take." It wouldn't surprise me if Darryl knew exactly who he's talking to, but whether he does or not, he gives no indication as he says he's got his own spot down the road, which is currently called Audrey's although Jean-Baptiste pipes up that that's going to change. "Lots of things gonna change." Boyd doesn't bother wondering what happened to Dewey's ownership of the place, but that doesn't stop the conversation from getting more pointed as Darryl brings up Boyd as the owner of the place, saying he heard he's "some big-time badass," although you wouldn't know it "from the immediate surroundings."
Darryl and Jean-Baptiste disparage the place a bit more until Boyd suggests perhaps they should rein it in, and after some more back-and-forth and Darryl introducing himself, Boyd does the same in conjunction with the drawing of his gun, backed up by Jimmy. Darryl thinks that whole setup was "cool as ice," but Boyd is still hot over the insults to his bar, which is kind of hilarious given that it really is a dive. Boyd gives Darryl sixty seconds to say whatever's on his mind, but Darryl is in no hurry and draaaags it out by chugging what's left of his beer before bringing up Boyd's transaction with Dewey. "That whorehouse shithole was a money-loser with a bartender who not only had his hand in the till but was cooperatin' with the Federal authorities." Sure, in that tone of voice it sounds bad. Boyd suggests the problem is with Audrey's current management, but Darryl demurs: "My problem is with you, Boyd." He tells Boyd he and his kin want the purchase price back plus interest, and when Boyd asks what happens if he declines, Darryl shakes his head perplexedly: "It's funny, I didn't even consider you might say no." It seems like a stock answer, but Rapaport has this very specific somewhat affable menace that I both love and fear. Boyd, however, is made of sterner stuff that I am and tells "you dumb-ass" that he might actually want to take the possibility into account, and Darryl looks honestly baffled as he asks, "So we're clear, you are saying no?" Hee. Boyd comes back in style when he says he's been accused of being a lot of things, but "inarticulate ain't one of 'em," and then Jimmy charges them for their drinks before Boyd tells them to get the hell out. Can't say this is likely to go great for him in the future, but that must have felt pretty satisfying.
In the Lexington office, Raylan finds Vasquez and starts to talk to him about Darryl's parole, but Vasquez asks if this can wait since they've got a "big fish in the tank." With that, he points toward Picker, who's in with Art, and I'd imagine if Raylan's daughter ever does anything really bad, this will be the Raylan look that lets her know she's fazed him.
At the outside tables belonging to a doughnut shop, Hot Rod joins Boyd; they shake hands, and after they sit, Hot Rod recalls that right where they are used to be "an old honkytonk your daddy and I favored." He recalls how he and Bo used to get stoned and play music, and it's just the most delightful reminiscing about a man who I certainly remember as being charming as they come. (I mean, you have to like bad guys to watch this show, but even in context Bo Crowder was a horrible person.) From here, though, Hot Rod chooses not to insult Boyd's intelligence as he supposes Boyd figured out "the puzzle," and Boyd agrees but goes on that Johnny "acted without authorization," and that truth is probably why Hot Rod took this meeting, as he's probably wondering what kind of disloyalty Johnny's capable of if he'd turn on his own cousin. Good moment to bookmark for maximum savoring later. Hot Rod, however, says he's there to make reparations, and he wants to pay Boyd fifty cents on the dollar, but Boyd makes him a "painless and profitable" counterproposal -- Hot Rod pays him nothing, but apologizes, gives him Johnny, and agrees to help him smuggle heroin across the border from Mexico. Hot Rod suggests that the first two points might be doable, but he's not remotely interested in the third, as the weed business is "low-risk, high-reward," while heroin dealing is "high-risk, high-mortality." Weed seems risky enough with people like Loretta around, but his point is still taken, which is why Boyd offers to cut him in fifty-fifty. Okay, Boyd, but didn't you pay Canada close to seven figures for that shipment for which you're now refusing any compensation? No offense, but can you really cash-flow that?
Back in Lexington, Tim gets his one line of the episode as he notes Picker's presence explains why Art went to Detroit, and Raylan replies, "Art went to Detroit?" like an anxious mynah bird. Rachel gets paid too as she says yep, about a week ago, and when Raylan asks Vasquez if he's going in, Vasquez tells him he's got an ID on Alan Tudyk now… so hell yes. Raylan's like, well, I'm going to claim the privilege of sitting in since Picker was involved in setting me and my ex-wife up to be murdered, and Vasquez doesn't argue the point, not that it would make much difference if he did. When they enter, Picker gives Raylan an amused look before Vasquez announces that Alan Tudyk's name is "Elias Marcos," a big target at the DOJ who just so happens to be Theo Tonin's consigliere "and one-man Pretorian guard," and Alan Tudyk may have looked pasty and surly but that does sound like a hard job. Picker grins at Raylan that he remembers him, but Raylan explains that away with the showdown at the old high school (and that ending, with Rachel getting Shelby safely out of Harlan on the train, is still one of my series favorites).
Vasquez takes a seat and tells Picker they'd like his help finding Marcos, adding that they know Theo left Tunisia two days ago "looking for help with his heart ailment," but Picker's like, you have no proof I killed Sammy and I'm no kind of snitch, so how about I don't help you? Art "idly" speculates that Marcos didn't simply "pop" Picker because he wanted to take him someplace and torture him, and he might not be wrong, but Picker only sasses him back, so Raylan, fake smile plastered on his face, whispers for Art to give him two minutes with Picker -- alone. Art gives Raylan a hard look but divines that this is one time he can trust him, so he and Vasquez mosey on out of there to get a Diet 7UP. Well, not before Picker tells "Princess" he'll take one too and Art replies, "You can suck the can when I'm done," but you probably figured something like that was going to happen.
On a bridge someplace, Boyd is telling some man who's probably a bit younger than he that fear of black lung is why he got out of the mines and joined the military. The guy tells Boyd he was smart, since here he is with it, and Boyd intones, "The world is full-a empty promises, Hays." My first college roommate was named Hays, and -- you won't believe this one -- he was also from the South! Hays tells Boyd he's worried, and when Boyd assures him he can take his promise to the bank, Hays emotionally tells him it's not that -- he knows Boyd is solid -- but he just isn't sure he can face never seeing his wife and kids again. Boyd counsels him to "love them hard" in his last days, putting a comforting hand on his back for emphasis, and Boyd may not be sincere with a lot of people, but the bonds of coal sure do seem to run deep.
Back in Lexington, Raylan is pouring water for Picker and himself as he lets Picker know that their room isn't monitored. For interrogation, there's a place down the hall. Picker throws some more shade, but Raylan is unfazed, speculating that Picker wants to leave so he can take care of Marcos himself -- and if that's the case, he probably has an idea of where he is. That seems like it should be a stretch; even if the Tonin family had a preferred hiding place nearby, it seems like a risk for them to use it with Picker in town. Picker doesn't deny it; instead, he guesses that Raylan really wants to threaten him. Raylan, however, replies that Picker doesn't know him, but Picker's still stuck on his subject as he tells Raylan that threatening someone who can blackmail you might be unwise. But what Picker doesn't know is that this has been an exceptionally good season for intimidating Raylan speeches, and this here is no exception: "I want you to think about something. The reason you're in a position to blackmail me is because of things I do. Things you've witnessed me do." Picker realizes that that right there is the threat, and Raylan holds out the pen: "What's it gonna be?" Picker, I might point out that one of the things Raylan does is kill bad guys rather expertly. What's the downside to taking yourself out of the fray?
Mooney, Mara and Boyd are in a busy little restaurant somewhere, and the purpose of the meeting is apparently for Mooney to get his money. Boyd, however, is in no hurry, and laughs about how Mooney "stated in [Lee's] last phone call that he confessed to his criminal corpse conspiracy." Not that it's a surprise that Boyd would appreciate alliteration, but it's fun to see nonetheless. Finally, though, Boyd says he's going to use the bathroom "and get you what you got comin' to you," and ANYONE who's watched TV or a movie would know that that's not a turn of phrase you take at face value, right? Mooney, however, couldn't be more excited, so maybe he deserves to die… as he does when Hays walks into the place and says something about Mooney crossing his family before shooting him twice in the chest. Even the icy Mara is shaken -- the bit of Mooney's blood on her face probably doesn't help -- but Boyd's cool as a cucumber as he deliberately returns to the table and explains that "Hays Workman" has a terminal case of black lung, so Boyd arranged for his family to get a large cash infusion six months from now in exchange for the favor Hays just did him, for which he won't even live to be tried. Mara's not so out of sorts that she doesn't realize Boyd's giving Hays's family the money she thought was coming to her and she's walking away with nothing. Boyd agrees that he has no money for her, but pointedly denies that she's getting nothing, and given that he's committed murder twice in this episode already he makes a good point. Speaking of this life of hers that he's spared, as the sounds of approaching sirens intensify, he tells her to leave Harlan and never return before getting to his feet and going. I doubt she's going to be incredibly anxious to come back, but loose ends on this show do have a way of resurfacing, don't they?
In prison, Boyd and Ava are in such good spirits that they're allowing the lawyer a few moments to hear the sounds of the outside world, and he tells them that Lee's "suicide" and Mooney's murder have made the case against Ava a shambles, and the upshot is that Ava will be out first thing in the morning. I gave the show its due for avoiding the cliché once, but this again has "cop one day away from retirement gets shot" written all over it. Boyd, in the most polite manner he's used for such a request, asks the lawyer for a minute, so he dutifully dons his headphones whereupon Boyd and Ava rejoice at her impending release and talk about all the simple domestic time they'll share. The guard then comes in to break things up, but it's only hours before she'll be out, right?
Back at Audrey's, Wendy comes in with Kendal; she looks around at the place and proclaims it not bad "if you like the smell of cheap beer and stale cum." Surprisingly, no one pipes up to defend either, and when Darryl starts to tell her Raylan had no right, Wendy cuts him off and bites out that Raylan had every right. While Wendy continues to lecture Darryl, in an adjoining room, Danny (who's looking like he's got some real jealousy issues with Kendal in addition to being a psycho) wonders if the clean shirt Kendal's wearing came from his foster family. He grabs the garment to look at the tag, and the two of them start slap/shoving the other's arms until Darryl barks at them to stop and complains that dealing with the two of them is "like herding cats. I ain't never had the patience to deal with that shit like you." Wendy, however, is like oh I see, you didn't actually mind Kendal being taken away if the result was me reinstating family babysitting services, but I can tell you that's not in the cards in Kentucky, not for me -- and not for you either if Raylan has his way. Darryl's not trying to hear that, so Wendy tells him if he wants a chance in hell of staying local he needs to find Kendal "a fit place to lay his head," but Darryl says he's broke right now before asking Wendy if she has any ideas. She sighs and sits for a moment before contemplatively replying, "You could do the old thing." Darryl looks taken aback for a moment, but smiles: "The old thing works good." By "works" they're probably not talking about "chills my blood in anticipation," but I can tell you it does that too.
In a commercial warehouse, Raylan and Art have so far come up empty on finding the hidden compartment that Picker indicated is there, and Raylan wonders if they're wasting their time, since Marcos was gone when they arrived. As they continue to search, Raylan asks Art about his Detroit trip, and Art gives him an appraising look and considers his response before offering: "Unless he's been here the whole time." Wait, that's not why you went to… OH. With that, Marcos starts shooting at them with an automatic weapon -- I don't know much about armaments, but he needs a strap and two hands just to have a chance of dealing with the kick -- and they scatter to take some thankfully ample cover. Art and Raylan separate and keep moving as Marcos reloads, which you can imagine takes a little while with such a bulky weapon, and when he comes around a corner to try to pin Art down, Raylan appears behind him and shoots him in the back. It's all over pretty quickly and is maybe slightly disappointing given how menacing Marcos was, but if he had an apparent weakness it certainly was overconfidence. As Art gapes at the power of the gun, Raylan snarks that Art "might want to log in a few hours at the range." Heh. Art doesn't dispute the slam on his marksmanship -- given his comments earlier, Marcos would probably laugh if he weren't cooling so rapidly -- but he does sigh that their link to Theo is now gone. Well, if it's any consolation, that probably hurts him more than it hurts you.
Ava's roommate is doing Ava's hair; as she works, the roommate has occasion to mention she's not getting out of there anytime soon. But look! Who should enter but Albert, still sporting a black eye from the beatdown Crane gave him. He tells them he's doing an unscheduled bed check since Ava's getting discharged in the morning, but when he pulls up Ava's mattress, he comes out with a makeshift shiv. We don't see if he did it just now or earlier, but when Ava points out that he obviously planted it, he moves forward menacingly and asks if she planned to hurt someone with it… maybe him? Desperate and afraid, she asks him not to do this, but he proves he's crazy as well as awful when he shanks himself in the side and then in the arm. She breathes, "Oh my God," and looks pleadingly at her roommate, but the woman can only apologize and remind her that she's not getting out anytime soon. With that, Albert calls in on his walkie and the roommate yells out that Ava shanked a guard, and just like that, Ava's Delroy problem seems like a million years ago.
A rather familiar sight is a yellow Marshal Service tarp covering a corpse, but there are more interesting things to behold, as one of the numerous uniformed members of the Marshal Service notices some blood leaking out of a shipping crate and calls everyone over. From inside the crate, we see it open to reveal Art, Raylan, Rachel and others with weapons leveled at the person inside -- Theo Tonin, sitting in what looks like an airplane chair with a wound in his side that suggests he caught a stray bullet. I doubt it's from Marcos's gun, though, not only because Marcos would have known to avoid him but because the chances of taking only one of the five million bullets he shot seem really, really slim.
Oh, I forgot that Tim and Rachel each get another line as there's a nice little drinking party going on back at the office in celebration of this collar. With Art on the phone, Raylan asks Vasquez what's up with Picker, and Vasquez tells him that Picker was flattered that Theo came out of hiding to personally execute him, but they had nothing with which to keep him, so he's a free man. Vasquez then admiringly notes that this Theo bust means Art will retire "in grand fashion. If that isn't the cap to a guy's career, I don't know what is." I have a feeling the show's going to be only too happy to tell you, sir.
Back at Audrey's, Kendal, who's tellingly changed out of the shirt Danny menacingly ridiculed, puts down a case of bourbon before asking Danny, who's broadening his horizons by reading Guns & Ammo, if he's not going to get groceries like Wendy told him to. Without looking up, Danny replies that no one listens to him -- for example, Darryl didn't kill Raylan when he suggested and now they've "all got this headache" -- so he's not going to listen to anyone else. Kendal points out Raylan had a gun, so Danny focuses on him as he gets to his feet and tells him to pretend he's got one. "I'm gonna show you what can and can't be done." Kendal impatiently says he knows "the twenty-one-foot rule," but that doesn't stop Danny -- who is much closer than twenty-one feet to Kendal, it should be noted -- from drawing his knife and taking a phantom stab at his brother. Danny then breathes that Kendal flinched, but Kendal's like, "crazy asshole runnin' at me with a knife," so yes? He knocks Danny's hand away, and I admire the kid's gumption but that might not be the best idea, so it's probably well that Jean-Baptiste enters the room in his imperious way and asks why no one's doing anything.
He notes Kendal's change of shirt, immediately reckoning on Danny's bullying being the reason for it before asking Danny where the food he was supposed to get is. Danny tells him he's already "got one bitch" after him and he doesn't need another, but Jean-Baptiste isn't so easily put off as he plops himself down on a backward-facing chair and asks, "Do you mean this when you call me 'bitch'?" Danny smiles that it's just a word, whereupon Jean-Baptiste, with an answering grin, says he prefers sticks and stones, "because I like to break bones." Danny tries to up the menace factor by faux-casually chuckling that Jean-Baptiste shouldn't be talking to him this way, and I bet if he wanted to get Danny really crazy all he'd have to do is insult his dog, but he goes for the owner instead: "A man that just talks is no man." He invites Danny to come at him from twenty-one feet so they can see if his bluster about the rule is founded: "No bullshit; let's do it." So Jean-Baptiste is calling Danny a bully blowhard and is willing to get involved in a confrontation to the death to show he's full of shit -- and Danny of course backs down, saying he's got some groceries to pick up.
So we're all clear on the power structure here as Danny goes to grab the list… AND INSTEAD PICKS UP A SAWED-OFF SHOTGUN AND BLOWS JEAN-BAPTISTE AWAY RIGHT THERE. I mean, maybe I should have expected it in an episode that's gotten redder by the minute, but Jean-Baptiste was a really interesting character and I didn't think the show would sacrifice him so early in the season just to make a point about Danny Crowe, but I sure do like the show's unrelenting guts, and I'm sorry that pun is the last thing you'll ever hear, Jean-Baptiste. Kendal, who was standing to Danny, covers his Sterling Archer-esque perforated eardrums as Danny hoots and hollers over Jean-Baptiste's bloody corpse before turning to a freaked-out Kendal and warning him he'd better not tell anyone about this. Kendal's slow to answer with his eyes still fixed on his dead protector, so Danny grabs his face and Kendal promises to stay silent. Danny then notes that he's got to get some plastic, and I'll ask again: Did they ever settle on a way to dispose of their dead? Have they perchance discovered the wonders of the slurry pond?
Oh, look, we're in Tennessee with Hot Rod's crew, who are playing cards with Johnny. Incidentally, I failed to note in my recap of this season's second episode that Mr. Racial Performance and his taciturn partner are the brothers, Wood Harris (from The Wire, which to my shame I've still only seen one season of) and Steve Harris (from The Practice, which I never watched. And not to bore you, but if you're interested as a little factoid, getting screeners from the network makes this job much easier in almost every way, but often the last bits of post-production are still temp and the opening credits, which are the easiest resource for figuring out the guest lineup, are yet to be included.) After a couple idle words about the game, Hot Rod asks Johnny if he'd heard that Boyd's got another shipment coming in -- he has it on good authority that he's striking up a connection with "the Mexicans." He wonders if they might as well not hit that one too, and Johnny, in that clipped way of speaking he has that seems like a possibly conscious antithesis of his cousin's drawl, deems that "big balls bold." He does ask, however, who the "good authority" to whom Hot Rod's referring is, and with that, Hot Rod simply replies "Boyd," whereupon everyone at the table points a gun at Johnny. I like the commitment to the setup, Hot Rod, but you're going to see theatricality can court one-upsmanship. For you see, Johnny gets to his feet and asks what Hot Rod spent his share of the take from the last hit on, and Hot Rod replies that he invested it. "It's always best to make your money work for you." Johnny's like, you know what, I did the same thing -- and Hot Rod's henchman swivel and point the guns in his direction. OHHHHHH! Johnny goes on that he didn't even take his cut, just split it among the three gentlemen who are covering Hot Rod right now, and Hot Rod at least reacts to this development honestly: "Well, shit." Hee. And I didn't think I'd be this psyched to see Johnny back in the game, but David Meunier does his best work when Johnny's in direct opposition to Boyd, I think.
No one's favorite lawyer gets a drink at the bar -- double rye; he's not fooling around -- and chugs it just as Boyd jovially appears behind him. Boyd sticks out his hand, but the lawyer warns him he's got bad news, and when Boyd sits and speculates that it can't be that bad, the lawyer's face is like… oh, it is. Boyd's smile fades as he tells Jimmy to give the lawyer a free round, and I'd guess that means he's not going to shoot the messenger, although if he also offers a cigarette I may revise my opinion.
Boyd, now distraught, marches into the prison and asks where Ava is -- but she's gone, already moved to the state pen. Boyd flips both physically and emotionally and it's not like that's super-fun to watch anyone do, but with someone of Boyd's sang-froid it's as powerful as it is disturbing.
The party's down to Raylan, Art and Vasquez -- although I choose to believe Rachel and Tim are out somewhere making trouble -- and Art, looking hilarious with a backwards baseball cap on his head and a cigar in his hand, notes that he doesn't want this day to end. He even admits that he went "gunslinger Givens-style" on Marcos in the bar, so it's nice to know that he does admire Raylan for some things. Raylan points out that he has taught Art a thing or two, and when Art scoffs, Raylan -- picking a perfect word on which to start a hint of slurring -- says it was "like osmosis." Hee. Vasquez stands to go and holds up his glass: "Raylan, you're a dick. Art, you're an American hero, and it is my honor to work in your company." Raylan grins that he may be a dick but Vasquez is definitely a kiss-ass, not that that stops Vasquez from going on a bit more in the same vein before clapping Raylan on the shoulder and turning to go… only to double back to tell them he forgot one thing Picker told him, which is that Sammy did have an agent in Kentucky who was instrumental in Augustine's death: Barkley. Ha! I don't know if Picker's thanking Raylan for his help or he's just being an anti-snitch on principle, but using Barkley as the scapegoat when Augustine actually blew his brains out is not only clever but has real panache. If, as I suspect, we never see Picker again, it's a fun note on which to leave him.
Once Vasquez is gone, Raylan and Art share a mutually appraising look before Raylan supposes he should go too, and Art tries to sound casual in offering, "Unless there's something else," but what else could he be referring to? I will say, though, that I wouldn't be surprised if he honestly thought Raylan unburdening himself would turn out better for him in the long run. Their relationship may be adversarial, but he's surely got to care. But Raylan heads out, so we won't get a chance to find out what Art would do with a Raylan confession -- EXCEPT WE TOTALLY WILL, because this episode outdoes itself with one last surprise, and Raylan turns around and heads back into Art's office. In a tone that almost accuses Art of already knowing this, he confesses, "It wasn't Barkley. And I can tell you that for a fact." We are in the thick of it, you guys. See you week!
John Ramos is a writer and film producer living in Los Angeles. His new film, a documentary on online privacy and the exploitation of personal data called Terms And Conditions May Apply, a New York Times Critics' Pick, is now on iTunes here. You can get news on it from the film's Twitter accountor website, or check out trackoff.us to learn how to protect your privacy. Also, you can email John at couchbaron@gmail.com, follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/couchbaron, or check out his blog, "Pull Up A Chair," which he'd just love for you to stop by.