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Boyd and Colton are combing Clover Hill trying to find anyone who might secretly be Drew Thompson. Ava wants to see if Judge Executive Furry will help them, while Johnny wonders how Boyd can be so sure that Wynn will honor his end of the bargain. Boyd dismisses the latter concern, but Ava prevails upon him to go with her plan of blackmailing Judge Executive Furry to get them invited to a swinger party hosted by the former Sheriff Napier. We don't get that far this episode, but what does happen is that Ava confesses to Boyd that Ellen May's death is tearing her apart and tells him she needs to know where they're headed for her to stay loyal to him. In response, Boyd takes her to a Harlan hilltop and tells her stories and dreams from his childhood before handing over the cash we saw him storing away in his ceiling and telling her it's for a down payment on a house, wherever she wants. Oh, and there's an engagement ring in there too, so we've got a Harlan wedding to look forward to. The big question is what the ratio of guests to metal detectors will be.
Colton's going off the rails, smoking heroin and smacking whores around in an effort to find Ellen May, and when Tim, visiting a former military buddy who used to be a druggie but is now clean, runs into Colton again, Tim's friend pegs Colton as a user. When Johnny sees what Colton did to this one girl's face, he insists she tell him who's responsible, but with Colton having threatened to do something to her tongue that would make her eligible for the lead role in a remake of The Piano, she lies and fingers one of her regular clients. Colton and Johnny pay him a visit, and Colton ends up beating the crap out of the guy for a crime he himself committed; also, even though he does so on Johnny's order, Johnny seems to note that he takes things a little too far. And I thought heroin sapped your energy?
Josiah's stunt from last week leads to some delicious foot puns, courtesy of Art, and Raylan pursuing his hobbled quarry and finding a telltale walking-boot print leads to him and Shelby, of all people, teaming up to track down Roz once again. Turns out it wasn't Josiah's idea to lose his foot; instead, two men relieved him of it, and would you like to know the reason? It's because they think Josiah is Drew Thompson. Raylan does not let on the significance of this discovery to Shelby, but if there's anything last week taught us, it's that Shelby isn't to be underestimated, and he convincingly makes the case to Raylan that he's not in Boyd's pocket like Raylan thinks (at least partially true) and that he cares most about the law (we'll see about that one). But he certainly makes the whole thing look good by arresting Boyd and bringing him to talk to Raylan. The best part is he basically accuses him of killing Ellen May when he knows she's safe at his house, but Boyd is still too pro to give up any information without an arrest.
When we join Cairn, he is in a bad way, although he also proves he is one tough mofo; we also learn that Arlo's and Boyd's lawyer brokered the kidnapping, but the fact that one of the two men she hired for the job is a complete psycho is destabilizing her ability to control the situation. The psycho decides to stop Josiah's bleeding by cauterizing his wound with a blowtorch, but while Raylan and Shelby don't quite get to him in time to prevent that, they do rescue him and take the lawyer and Mutt and Jeff into custody. Josiah then tells them he tried to get Raylan out of the way so he could track Thompson down himself and hopefully use him as a bargaining chip to get rid of his tether. When asked how he planned to do that, Josiah tells them there's a former lawman in Harlan who would know where Thompson is -- Hunter Mosley, who tried to have Raylan killed back in Season One. So we don't get either reunion with a former Harlan sheriff just yet, but damn if I'm not on the edge of my seat for week already. Also, it looks like Raylan and Shelby might stay teamed up, and I wouldn't have imagined that pairing, but I sure do like it.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!In a gracious home in Clover Hill, a man sits nervously in a chair as Boyd and Colton, wearing masks, lurk menacingly, with Boyd even playing a forbidding high note on the piano. The man, "Dale," tells them his son is asleep upstairs, so Colton suggests they should keep their little chat quiet. They cover subjects such as the lack of domestic bliss in Dale's marriage and his vocation of self-taught banker, and for someone who seems to want to keep his identity secret, Boyd certainly is giving Dale every opportunity to familiarize himself with his voice. The point of all this, though, is that Colton and Boyd are on a hunt for anyone who might be Drew Thompson, and presumably, they've got some idea of how to narrow down the search beyond interviewing every male of a certain age in the county in this manner, especially since they won't accept any form of identification as proof of... well, identity. However, Dale produces a box full of mementos, and after being given shit for a little poem therein that he apparently wrote (and the ribbing is well-deserved; he rhymed "sorrow" and "Kilimanjaro"), he produces a photo of himself from 1982 that conclusively proves he is who he says, at which point Boyd issues an apology that's as mellifluous as it is insincere, and then adds that Dale might want to keep the "memory box" close at hand in case anyone else stops by to "reminisce." Heh.
Over at Josiah's, the foot has been bagged and tagged, and the Sherriff Department staff on the scene wonder how long Josiah might survive (the consensus is "not very") before Raylan asks them if they've put a bolo out on him and then sasses them for not doing their jobs. One of the deputies speculates that Josiah took his own foot off before asking what the marshals would want with "a piece of shit" like him anyway, as if the normal objects of their pursuits are some kind of civic heroes. Raylan admits that he thinks Josiah has intel on a fugitive, but when the deputy asks which one, he replies, "Jimmy Hoffa." Heh. The deputy smiles as he asks if there's any reason Raylan is treating them like "bleached assholes," which is just a lovely image to entertain before we even get through the cold open, but Raylan tells him that there's isn't, really, before taking a phone call from Art, who says he heard from Tim that "the game was afoot." Using a Sherlock Holmes reference to make an atrocious pun? I'm going to lobby personally for the mandatory marshal retirement age to be raised, Art. He continues in that vein, prompting Raylan to ask if he called just to indulge in foot puns, and Art is like, "Yes." Hee. Raylan asks about delaying Arlo's deal, but Art tells him that "Sonya Gable," Arlo's attorney from last episode, hasn't returned the office's calls, and when Raylan asks why, Art suggests he go ask her "after you're finished playing footsie." I'm disappointed Raylan isn't playing along, but his attention is diverted when he spies a print on the ground, and on careful examination, it's clear it was made by someone in wearing a walking boot. Raylan: "Hello, Roz." I'm fine with him not going toe to toe with Art, but the fact that he doesn't make a foot pun with this golden opportunity is going to make me sulk all the way through the opening credits.
In the bar, tensions are running high: Johnny for whatever reason is disbelieving that Dale isn't Drew Thompson, Colton is smoking heroin in the bathroom more frantically than I thought was possible, and Ava is scrubbing a spot on the bar like she's doing her best impression of Lady MacBeth come to Kentucky. Boyd barks for Ava and Colton to join him, not that either one of them hops to it, and after Johnny asks if they're just going to put a gun to the head of every old man who lives in Clover Hill, Boyd doesn't exactly make me super-confident about his plan with his response that it is what they'll do if he says so. Ava wonders if they should exploit "Arnold," to whom I've been and will continue to refer as "Judge Executive Furry," but Boyd doesn't really give a compelling reason in kiboshing that idea. Johnny then asks how they can be sure Wynn will honor his part of the deal, and Boyd asks if he has reason to believe he won't, which so completely ignores everything they know about Wynn that if I were Johnny, it would make me think Boyd had gotten wind (wynnd?) of my secret understanding. Johnny frames his certain knowledge as hypothetical in saying that if he were Wynn, he'd let Boyd track down Thompson and then kill Boyd, but Boyd is dismissive of this entirely real scenario and dispatches Johnny to see what's taking Colton so long.
While Colton yells for Johnny to give him a minute, Ava wonders if Johnny's right, but Boyd says he needs to find Thompson before he even worries about Wynn. Maybe not crazy smart, but it'd be disrespectful to assume Boyd has no plan, I suppose. Ava softly says she just doesn't want to see him get hurt, but Boyd asks her to trust him: "This bird in the hand is gonna be worth ten in the bush." Not to sound like that simp Hiram Colton accidentally killed in the season premiere, but I have no idea what he's talking about. Speaking of Colton, he lights some paper on fire and waves it around to cover the drug smell before exiting the bathroom, whereupon Boyd admonishes him for having eaten huevos rancheros for breakfast. Sorry, Boyd, but huevos rancheros are worth it even if distress is the price. Just ask Brody's special son on Homeland. Boyd sends Colton to Audrey's to keep his eyes open for any over-50 Clover Hill types before taking Johnny and bouncing, whereupon Ava asks Colton if he's okay. Despite surely feeling like he's falling apart on every level, Colton assures her he's fine...
...while someone's about to be the opposite of fine, if the look on Raylan's face when he knocks on a trailer door and then hears gunshots is any indication. When he rounds the structure, we see that the shooter is merely firing at a drawing he made of a Native American, not that that isn't just lovely, and also that he's Roz's boyfriend/partner in crime Benny from the season premiere. Upon hearing his name, Benny, while telling Raylan that he and Roz are no longer together, gives Raylan all kinds of attitude, which, not surprisingly, results in him getting shoved to the ground. Has Raylan's reputation for badassery really not made the rounds in Harlan? They don't have to be happy about it, but you'd think people would realize cooperation would yield the same result with a lot less fuss. Raylan tells Benny to phone Roz like ten minutes ago, but his attention is diverted by Shelby calling his name from his car. Raylan tells him he's in the middle of something before slapping Benny down again, so Shelby comes over and mildly remarks he's obviously going to get the same "preferential treatment" as his deputies before asking if he's got a line on Roz, suggesting that his deputies reported Raylan's discovery to him. When Raylan complains that he's dealing with a love-scorned teenager, Shelby once again impresses by insinuating that Benny's choice of drawing might not be entirely based on racism, and asks Raylan if he's coming...
...and we cut to a rather large Native American opening up for Raylan and Shelby, and Shelby greets him as "Teddy" and says they're looking for Roz. Teddy merely stares in return, and after a couple silent nods that are both cryptic and menacing, Raylan declares his intention to enter Teddy's little abode, whereupon Teddy goes for the knife on his belt. Just then, however, Roz calls out that she's there, and at least someone around here has the good sense not to test Raylan's limits. She tells Teddy to let them pass, and Raylan immediately follows her in, but Shelby is like, Teddy, I'm not incredibly comfortable with you holding that knife, given that it's big enough to gut a tuna.
Teddy reluctantly hands it over, and then inside, Roz says she didn't have sex with Teddy, to which Raylan answers that he's sure she and "'Rapes With A Smile' here" were just talking. Hee. When Roz plays dumb at a reference to severed foots, Raylan grabs her, prompting Teddy to rush toward him, but, quick as a flash, Shelby grabs a handy metal bar and clocks Teddy in the back of the leg, and he goes down like a fallen sequoia. In a voice that sounds as white trash as that of any local Caucasian, he threatens to cut them, but no one pays any attention, and Roz soon admits she was at the scene of the crime, but goes on that she and Teddy can find Josiah just fine. "Teddy here's part Cherokee. Family came here on the Trail of Tears." Raylan strikes an acceptable balance between reverence for that subject and contempt for Teddy personally, but when Roz goes on that when they find whoever gave Josiah the footectomy, they'll do more than just arrest him, Raylan points out that it'll be hard for Teddy to do any tracking if he's in jail for statutory rape. Roz starts to deny it again, but Raylan informs her that repeating a lie won't make it true. Well, he never struck me as much of a PR type.
He goes on that since he's already seen her half-naked (hee), it shouldn't be much of a problem to convince a jury that he and Shelby walked in on some underage lovemaking, so Roz bites out that there were two guys responsible, but she couldn't see much of them on account of Josiah making her hide as soon as they pulled up. And given the dirty work he'd been having her perform, you wouldn't automatically assume he'd be so protective. Roz, however, does offer two salient bits of information: One, the assailants were in a panel van, "painted up ugly as shit." It's out of my area of expertise, but doesn't that kind of go with the territory? Roz's second revelation is that the men didn't even have Josiah's name right and she'll never forget what they called him, because it's the last thing she heard before Josiah started screaming: "Drew. Drew Thompson." Given what people are willing to do to find this guy, that Dale should really be happy that all he got from Boyd was some light menace.
Outside, Shelby repeats the name, and Raylan oh-so-casually asks him if it means anything to him. Shelby says sure -- "ain't nobody in Harlan the name doesn't mean something to" -- but he's dead. Unless, however, someone thinks he's alive, which maybe is why Raylan went to see Josiah in the first place? Damn, I can't believe the degree to which the show had me underestimating Shelby. Won't make that mistake again, nor will a lot of other people, I'm guessing. Raylan tries to peace out, but Shelby gets his full attention when he asks if his stop is Boyd, and suggests they cut the shit -- Raylan won't talk to him or his men because he thinks he's in Boyd's pocket. Raylan: "I think Lynyrd Skynyrd's overrated. I know you're in Boyd's pocket." Heh. Shelby, however, says that, while they may be dealing with the amazing development of Thompson being alive, he knows for sure that Josiah Cairn is a parolee gone missing, and as such it's his duty to find him. "I brought you to Roz; if you think you've got a line on what happened to Josiah, you're gonna share it with me." Raylan asks if he's going to say "please," which is a characteristic way for him to hide how impressed Shelby just made him.
In a VA hospital or center or something, a dude in what looks like his early thirties appears and apologizes to Tim for keeping him waiting, explaining that the meeting went long. Tim's just glad he's going to meetings still, and asks about his leg; the guy rolls up his pants to reveal a long scar, saying he's got one more surgery, and the pins are pinching him like hell. "As much as oxy screwed up my life, it sure knocked out the pain." These boys are obviously Armed Services buddies, and when Tim suggests acupuncture and tells "Mark" about a friend of theirs (a "karaoke badass," which means the show is going to have Tim sing at some point or it's going to tell me why) it helped, Mark says maybe it'll aid Tim with his menstrual cramps. Tim: "Those went away once I went on birth control." Among the many, many things I love about Tim is his ability to keep a straight face.
Mark thanks Tim for coming, and Tim puts a hand on his shoulder as he says he thought from the message Mark left he might have "slipped up again," but Mark says no, he's two months clean. However, he still has some debts from when he was using, and he wonders if Tim might come with him on an errand, presumably to settle them. Tim agrees, but his attention is on Colton, who's just entered the building. As Colton passes by, Tim calls to him "Hey, Boyd Crowder's ride," and as effed up as he is, Colton still manages to come back by greeting "Marshal Givens' sidekick." Tim asks if he's there for a checkup, adding that he didn't think they took appointments so late, but Colton says yes, throwing in a rather fake-sounding attempt at a cough, although now that he's lied twice about getting sick and has been horsing it up to an insane degree, it's probably going to happen for real soon enough. When Colton's gone, Mark tells Tim he knows those eyes. "That guy's in a world of hurt." Well, if that's true, his philosophy is apparently to spread it around...
...because he enters the bathroom and, after locking the door and checking the stalls for lurkers (not that kind), steps up to the guy at the urinal and points his gun at a place a bullet would be even less welcome than usual. He tells the guy he just needs to be hooked up with a local heroin dealer -- doesn't matter which one -- and after ignoring a call from Johnny, he turns back to the guy: "You were saying?" We don't hear his response, but it wouldn't surprise me to hear he asked to move from the urinal to the toilet.
Back at the bar, Boyd is loading a gun as he says that he and Johnny have the Drew Thompson list narrowed down to thirteen men -- that's some interesting work, but okay -- and as soon as Colton gets back from the place he's totally not at, they're going to go knocking on doors. Ava, however, has another idea -- Napier has parties every week, and they could attend one in the hopes of getting some information. Boyd thinks Napier would sooner shoot him than entertain him, but Ava says that's where Judge Executive Furry comes in -- she can threaten him with exposure to his wife unless he wrangles them an invite. Boyd asks if she knows exactly what happens at these parties, but Ava's like, it's a swinger's party, which maybe isn't such a big deal for someone who manages whores for a living? She's doing a good job of talking him into it, but before anything's resolved, Shelby enters without knocking, as Boyd is at pains to point out.
He gives Shelby the lack of deference you'd expect him to show someone over whom he thinks he has complete control, but Shelby is a different player now that he's holding the Ellen May card, and when Boyd gets to his feet, Shelby takes out his handcuffs and orders Boyd to turn around. Ava can't believe Shelby's arresting Boyd, while Boyd warns Shelby he's about to turn a corner from which he can't come back. Shelby: "That's like warning a man it's gonna rain when he's already wet." Maybe, Shelby, but I think Boyd's threatening a monsoon here. But regardless, Shelby leads Boyd away...
...while someone else who's begging to be arrested, Colton, is ransacking one of the hookers' trailers when the woman herself turns up. Despite not being thrilled at what he's doing to her domicile, they have a pleasant enough chat about her professional oral abilities until he accuses her of knowing where Ellen May is. She tries to calm him down, only to get backhanded in the face for her trouble, and not at half-speed either. He seems a little sorry, at least, before making sure to his satisfaction that none of the other girls know where Ellen May is either. I mean, it's true that as far as Colton knows, Ellen May thinks that Ava was willing to welcome her back with open arms, but I still can't imagine any of the other girls having seen Ellen May without reporting it to Ava or Johnny, but, you know -- heroin. Colton tells the girl he's not a bad person, and he seems desperately to mean it, only to grab her by her hair and tell her that if she blabs a word of this, he's going to cut out her tongue, "and then we're gonna see what kind of professional you are." I guess I don't understand this business, I thought one of the benefits of working in an establishment such as this was protection from these sort of threats.
Speaking of threats, Boyd, having dropped his usual veneer of condescending amusement, asks Shelby what this is all about, but the pieces start coming together when they enter Shelby's office and Boyd sees Raylan therein. Raylan asks Boyd how long it took him to get loose, and Boyd replies that he thought it'd take Colton a while to find a saw, "so I decided to eat my way through the tree!" I wonder if Colton had to help; that seems like an errand for which drugs would actually be a benefit.
Boyd realizes they're wondering if he had anything to do with relieving Josiah of his foot, and his indignance seems warranted (sometimes it's hard not to be able to use the word "justified") in that it does seem quite a stretch, given that Raylan left him on the hill handcuffed to a tree and went straight to Josiah's, and Boyd likely couldn't have contacted any of his boys to manage the errand in time. Boyd talks about people keeping their word before asking what kind of man Shelby is, but Shelby isn't playing: "The kind whose mama raised him so's he could look in the mirror every morning and not hate what he saw lookin' back." Boyd wonders, then, how that man felt when he was working at a Big Box store, but this pointedly catty remark only drives Raylan closer to Shelby, as he admits that before he went to Marshal Academy he cleaned bathrooms in dive bars. Shelby replies that he once worked for a crime-scene cleanup crew, and despite Raylan conceding that Shelby has him beat, having seen both Trainspotting and Sunshine Cleaning, I think we can call this one a draw.
Boyd, not too thrilled with their mutual grossiration society, makes noises about leaving, but Shelby says if he won't talk about Josiah, maybe there's another case he'd like to discuss. "Ellen May. Haven't seen her lately!" As I said in the recaplet, I LOVE Shelby making this play in front of Raylan when he's got Ellen May safe at his house; the fact that Boyd actually did try to kill her only makes it more delicious. Shelby's serious threatening to elbow his way into my top five favorite characters here. Raylan, his amusement fading, asks if, in fact, Boyd did something to Ellen May, adding that he "liked" her, but Boyd ignores his use of the past tense to tell him that Josiah is probably dead, pointedly adding, "That's what assholes do, Raylan. They get old and die from bein' assholes!" We certainly have had our share of asshole philosophies this season; you might say everyone's got one, even if they don't all stink. Anyway, all this lovely discussion is put to an end by the appearance of Gable, who orders Shelby to, if there are no charges, uncuff Boyd right now. Raylan asks why she's stalling Arlo's deal, but she claims not to know what he's talking about before hustling Boyd out of there. I wonder if he's going to peel off another couple hundreds from that roll for this service.
Back at the whorehouse, Johnny finds "Teri," the girl whose tongue is on probation, and when he sees the state of her face, he demands to know who hit her. When she tells him it was a customer, he insists she tell him who it was, and although she hesitates for a long time -- understandably, since whatever Johnny's going to do will make her wounds undetectable by comparison -- she fingers a "Max," her Tuesday night regular. She then gets up, leaving Johnny to stew...
...and now it's time to check in with Josiah, who, while still alive and compos mentis, looks about the color you'd expect of someone who's lost enough blood to satisfy your hungrier vampires. Also, his stump is well visible, which is just lovely. His one captor, who grosses me out more than anything else in this episode by cutting his toenails with scissors, is unimpressed with Josiah's attempts to tell him he's not the man whoever hired him is seeking, and then his partner comes in complaining that all the blood isn't coming out, and as such has ruined his fugly van. He gets me on his side for a moment by going on to bitch about the toenails going all over his garage, but then Josiah distracts him by asking for some water. When the guy brings it to him, he notes that Josiah doesn't look so good, prompting Josiah to reply, "Course I don't look so good. I'm dying here, asshole!" I hope I'm that crotchety when my number's coming up. It's pretty inspirational.
We see that Psycho The Toenail-Clipper and Moron Who Drives A Panel Van tried to stop the bleeding by tying a belt around the wound, but Moron realizes it's not doing the job, and Josiah begs them to take him to a hospital. Moron and Psycho then argue until Gable turns up, which is a nice twist but not like amazingly shocking, since we learned last episode how well she responds to the almighty dollar. (Although, given that it seems like she immediately passed the information she got from Arlo on to the Tonins, maybe she was in their pocket beforehand?) She asks how he is, and Moron earns his nickname by failing to reply "Not great" in a shout-out to Archer, and hey, FX, where was the synergistic network note on that one? He asks how far away her "guys" are, and when she tells him they'll be half an hour at least, he reiterates that they have to stop the bleeding. Gable goes to find some bandages, but Psycho is more in favor of using a blowtorch to cauterize the wound, and Josiah isn't so out of it that he doesn't moan at the prospect. Gable and Moron are similarly not so enamored of the idea, but Psycho pulls out a knife and holds it to Moron's throat as he makes it clear that if he doesn't get paid, the both of them die. I mean, if they were going to flambé Josiah's leg, they could have had the decency to do it when he was still in shock from the amputation. You have to plan these things!
Oh, here's Judge Executive Furry entering his lovely Clover Hill home and happily calling to "April" to see if she's home. What he does not hear, however, is that April is not only home but engaged in conversation -- with Ava. Haaaa ha ha. When he enters the kitchen, April "introduces" them, and Judge Executive Furry manages to play along reasonably, even if he won't be getting nominated for any acting awards. After we learn that April and Ava went to the same high school and Ava winsomely announces that April inspired her to become a cheerleader (there's even a discussion of a cheerleader memory book and the performance of a little cheer), Ava holds up a photo of April standing to someone dressed as the school mascot, which just happens to be a bear. "That's not you, is it, Arnold?" HA! As disappointed as I was with Raylan's failure to crack foot jokes earlier, Ava more than makes up for it in this scene with all her references to bears. Judge Executive Furry says he'd love to join them in looking at all the photos of his wife before asking her if she wouldn't mind getting him his reading glasses.
When she's gone, he rounds on her, but she tells him to be nice. "No reason to let them bear claws come out." Heeeeee. When he hears that all she wants is an invitation to Napier's party (after a reference to his "fondness for wildlife"), though, he calms down and smiles in relief that she didn't need to threaten him for that. She wonders if getting Boyd an invitation isn't a big deal, but Judge Executive Furry thinks he'll be a hit with the women, and "the guys'll be givin' up their left nuts just to get a shot at you." Not particularly wanting to hear that assessment from someone who got carnal with Ellen May, Ava snaps that she was referring to the bad blood between Boyd and Napier, but Judge Executive Furry dismissively replies that he'll handle Napier before telling her she can consider both herself and Boyd invited. Ava takes him at his word, but I bet Boyd still runs up to Napier's door in a serpentine pattern.
Oh, here are Raylan and Shelby (in Raylan's car) pulling up to a house outside which a rather ugly panel van is parked. No sooner have they approached the house than does a black SUV appear, but although it slows down enough that we see two tough-looking dudes dressed all in black inside, they apparently decide it's not worth a fight with two different law branches and drive on. Shelby notes that the vehicle was a rental, and Raylan supposes that if they checked the agreement, they'd find a Detroit credit card was used..
...while inside, Psycho is just firing up the blowtorch and tells his two accomplices that they're going to have to hold Josiah down, and then Josiah is literally and hilariously like, "I'm actually feeling a whole lot better now." Hee. Moron and Gable, though, have no choice but to give in to Psycho's menace, and when Josiah once again tries to tell them he's not Drew Thompson, Gable informs him that's not what Arlo says. As I alluded to earlier, THAT'S the name he gave her last week. I knew he'd never tell her the truth, but it didn't occur to me he'd be so crafty as to use the opportunity to get Josiah out of the way.
Anyway, Psycho does in fact go through with it, and Josiah screams bloody (sorry) murder, which brings Raylan and Shelby in, guns drawn. Moron actually runs for the back door with no cover and struggles with it when he finds it locked, which Raylan can't even believe. However, it's enough of a distraction that Psycho gets to pick up a can of spray paint or something equally flammable and send a fireball in Raylan's direction, but Raylan manages to slide gracefully out of its way, making my screams of "NOT IN HIS FACE" seem like an overreaction. Shelby then plugs Psycho in the shoulder, and he goes down as Raylan asks, "What the hell was that?" He just sounds offended; it's hilarious. He then tells Gable that she picked a couple winners, and when, upon being asked, she tells him her client is "the dumb one," Raylan replies, "That don't narrow it down." Hee.
Josiah asks Raylan to call an ambulance, and when Raylan points out that Josiah tried to kill him, Josiah's hilariously like, "I can explain that!" He tells us yet again that he's not Thompson, but although Raylan believes that, as Arlo would never have given up the real name without his deal in place, he points out that Josiah still tried to send him to his death, and he'd like to know why. Josiah thought that if he could get rid of Raylan, then he could have been the one to find Thompson, which would have given him the bargaining chip he needed to get rid of his tether, prompting Shelby to ask how Josiah would have gone about tracking him down. Josiah confesses there's an ex-lawman he used to know who would definitely have the lowdown if Thompson were hiding in Harlan. This gets Raylan's attention, and when he asks who it is, Josiah manages a chuckle despite everything: "You oughtta know. He's in jail for trying to have you killed." Moments like this do make you wonder how Raylan can still be alive. I mean, I know he's the star of the show, but still!
Outside, Raylan and Shelby are discussing Hunter Mosley, and if you're relatively new to the show, here's a link to the character's history. (He's also played by Brent Sexton, yet another Deadwood alum and also Rosie Larsen's father on The Killing.) Shelby says he and Hunter were deputies together, and he didn't much like him. Raylan: "The man tried to have me killed. How do you think I feel about him?" Hee. Shelby tells Raylan to let him know if he can help him any, and Raylan sounds sincere as he thanks him. Shelby then asks when the last time Raylan shot someone was, and Raylan replies with surprise that it's been a while. (Well, if you don't count steering wheels.)
Raylan turns the question around, and Shelby tells him it's been about twenty years -- he was on his way to meet his girlfriend at the Dairy Queen, where he was going to propose. A kid in a truck cut him off at a light, so he chased after him instead, got in front of him, and ordered him out of the car. Unfortunately, the kid had robbed a liquor store, so he wasn't going to go quietly, and he punched the gas and came at Shelby, hitting him -- but Shelby, in midair, got one shot off that caught the kid right in the chest. Raylan, equal parts amused and impressed: "Maybe I could use your help." Heh. Shelby agrees that he wasn't always a greeter at Big Box, and then Raylan asks if he really has something on Ellen May missing. Shelby plays coy, although Raylan doesn't know the half of it, and Shelby goes on that he spent most of his years as a lawman chasing Arlo, so "how do I know his tendencies ain't been passed down?" Raylan must really be liking Shelby not to take reflexive offense at any comparison to Arlo, but he does caution Shelby that if he does have anything on Boyd, he shouldn't keep it to himself. "After today, he's goin' after you sooner than later." Shelby thanks him for the advice, and when Raylan asks if he ended up marrying the girl, he says no. "And I put flowers on that kid's grave every week." They chuckle, which is super-weird. Not because I care about the kid, but because he ruined the opportunity for a Dairy Queen proposal. At what happier place could two people start a life together?
Some gross lowlife answers his door to find Mark and Tim, and he can't believe Mark's nerve, but Mark says he wants to square things, after which Tim drawls that maybe he should let them in rather than "discuss drug deals on your porch." The guy reluctantly agrees, and as the three of them walk in, they pass a half-dressed guy making a hasty exit, which will make more sense in a moment. Because, when the lowlife clears his throat, Mark starts disrobing, and when Tim turns and is like, uh, dude, Lowlife tells him it's his rule that everyone who comes in strips -- it's the only way he can be sure that (a) no one's wearing a wire and (b) he's the only one packing. The gratuitous use of the word "packing" aside, this policy makes sense to me, but my judgment might not be the most trustworthy when the prospect of naked Tim is, um, dangled before me. Tim wearily says they're just there to settle Mark's debt, but Lowlife is like, debt, that's a good one -- the last time Mark was there, he ripped off eight hundred bucks and a bottle of oxy. Tim, once again, is like, duuuuude, and Lowlife demands double what Mark stole for them to be square. Mark starts to babble about how he doesn't have it, prompting Lowlife to pull his gun -- but Tim's right there with his own piece. "Good thing I never took my pants off, huh?" As I mentioned, I'm not the right person to ask. Tim gets Lowlife to lower his weapon, and when Lowlife requests a down payment -- everything in Mark's wallet -- Tim backs his play. Mark balks, but Tim tells him, "Hand it over to him or I will shoot you myself." Not to be a complete cliché, but siiiigh.
Oh, dear, here's poor innocent videogame-playing Max. When Johnny and Colton enter his place, he doesn't take them nearly seriously enough, and soon, Colton is beating the crap out of him. He tries to proclaim his innocence, but Colton doesn't relent, even continuing to punch him in the face after he's gone glassy-eyed and Johnny tries to call him off. Johnny only gets Colton to desist by telling him not to kill Max, and then Colton's like, "That's for hittin' a girl," and the fact that he sounds like he even believes his own line is possibly the most distressing thing of all, and despite having ordered this scene, Johnny looks a bit taken aback at how it played out.
Ava returns to the bar to find Boyd, and she tells him she's secured them an invitation. After he replies that they'll try it her way, she haltingly says she's having a hard time; she loves him, and she didn't lose any sleep over Devil or Delroy, but killing Ellen May is tearing her apart. She goes on that she'd do anything for Boyd, but she needs to know where they're headed. In response, he rises and tells her to meet him in the truck in two minutes, and it's not like I thought he was going to send her to, as far as he knows, keep Ellen May company or anything, but he hasn't seemed particularly loving this season, and with the secret money in the ceiling I was wondering if he was still as devoted to her as he once was. And from how unhappy she looks, it seems I have a point, but she eventually complies, and he stares after her for a long moment...
...but then the two of them are up on a Harlan hill, leaning against the truck and looking over the town. Boyd says that his mother used to bring him up there when he was a boy, and he'd look at the town's lights and pretend they were stars. "And I'd get in my spaceship and just float through the universe." Ava's not sure where he's going with this, but he hands her a small metal strongbox and tells her inside is the answer to her question from earlier. Not without trepidation, she opens it -- and discovers that stash of money Boyd had hidden in the ceiling. Aw yeah, Boyd Crowder. Renewing our faith.
He tells her he hated to hide it from her, but he wanted the time to be right. "It's a down payment on a house, Ava. Anywhere you want it -- maybe it'll even be a place with a view like this." He goes on that they're doing what they're doing for the future, so in three generations' time they'll be an old family name, and it's not completely clear but it sounds like, especially in the context of his earlier remarks that they don't belong in Clover Hill, he hopes for his kids to have a legitimate social status he never did. It's also not clear if that means they won't be criminals, but they'll at least have hope for minimum security. Upon being prompted, Ava digs deeper and finds an engagement ring, and he says he knows most people wouldn't do this over a box of cash. "But the way I see it, Ava Crowder (guess she's going to be Ava Crowder Crowder after this), you and me -- we ain't like most people." She tearfully agrees, and then he gets down on one knee and asks "the love of my life, the apple of my eye," to marry him, and she happily accepts. Awwww. And week, they can celebrate their newly-engaged status by going to a swinger's party!
John Ramos is a writer and film producer living in Los Angeles. His new film, a documentary on online privacy and the sale of personal data called Terms And Conditions May Apply, recently premiered at the Slamdance Film Festival in January. You can get news on it from the film's Twitter account. Also, you can email John at couchbaron@gmail.com, follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/couchbaron, or check out his blog, "Pull Up A Chair," which he'd just love for you to stop by.
...but then the two of them are up on a Harlan hill, leaning against the truck and looking over the town. Boyd says that his mother used to bring him up there when he was a boy, and he'd look at the town's lights and pretend they were stars. "And I'd get in my spaceship and just float through the universe." Ava's not sure where he's going with this, but he hands her a small metal strongbox and tells her inside is the answer to her question from earlier. Not without trepidation, she opens it -- and discovers that stash of money Boyd had hidden in the ceiling. Aw yeah, Boyd Crowder. Renewing our faith.
He tells her he hated to hide it from her, but he wanted the time to be right. "It's a down payment on a house, Ava. Anywhere you want it -- maybe it'll even be a place with a view like this." He goes on that they're doing what they're doing for the future, so in three generations' time they'll be an old family name, and it's not completely clear but it sounds like, especially in the context of his earlier remarks that they don't belong in Clover Hill, he hopes for his kids to have a legitimate social status he never did. It's also not clear if that means they won't be criminals, but they'll at least have hope for minimum security. Upon being prompted, Ava digs deeper and finds an engagement ring, and he says he knows most people wouldn't do this over a box of cash. "But the way I see it, Ava Crowder (guess she's going to be Ava Crowder Crowder after this), you and me -- we ain't like most people." She tearfully agrees, and then he gets down on one knee and asks "the love of my life, the apple of my eye," to marry him, and she happily accepts. Awwww. And week, they can celebrate their newly-engaged status by going to a swinger's party!
John Ramos is a writer and film producer living in Los Angeles. His new film, a documentary on online privacy and the sale of personal data called Terms And Conditions May Apply, recently premiered at the Slamdance Film Festival in January. You can get news on it from the film's Twitter account. Also, you can email John at couchbaron@gmail.com, follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/couchbaron, or check out his blog, "Pull Up A Chair," which he'd just love for you to stop by.