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Welcome to Season Four of Justified! Let's take a trip back to 1983, where, in a quiet little section of suburbia somewhere, a man's parachute fails to prevent him from crashing into the street hard enough to spill his own guts, along with a rather large number of bricks of some kind of white drug. All I can say is that the stuff must have been packed tight, given that less of it leaks onto the pavement than does the unfortunate parachutist's blood.
An old fling of Raylan's, who's now working in bail bonds in Knoxville, gets in touch with him and asks him for a favor -- a client of hers who skipped town has an ex-wife in his neck of the woods, so if he'll facilitate his capture should he turn up, she'll kick something his way. So it looks like Raylan's doing a little bounty hunting on the side for his unborn kid's sake. He hasn't traded in for a grey hat yet, but it's probably just a matter of time.
Boyd's a bit concerned that his oxy sales ain't what they used to be, and he gets intel from one of his wayward (and none too bright) field agents that a "Preacher Billy," under the aegis of his "Last Chance Holiness" church, is healing people's afflictions – including drug addiction. In probably related news, an old Army buddy of Boyd's, Colton Rhodes, turns up at Boyd's invitation for a reunion. Boyd wants Colton to work for him, presumably as an enforcer; it seems at first that Colton draws the line at killing, but when he blows the field agent's head off when Boyd didn't even mean for him to hurt the guy, it seems more likely that he draws the line at not killing. Meanwhile, when we finally see Preacher Billy's tent…er, "church," there's speaking in tongues and snake handling and whatever else, and who should be there but Ellen May – you remember, that whore Ava punched right in her stupid Jennifer Tilly voice – who's looking for a little redemption after having shot a client in a drug-fueled furry (yup, that kind) accident. Sorry, hon, but even the snake handler's probably going to raise an eyebrow when he hears your story.
In the plotline that's probably related to the opening flashback, Harlan Constable Patton Oswalt, an old friend of Raylan's he hired to keep an eye on Arlo's house, calls Raylan after chasing some wire-stripping kids out of there. Checking the damage, Raylan finds, in a bag hidden in the wall, a 1984-expired driver's license for a "Waldo Truth." Later, he also has a run-in with the female kid, who flashes him her rack while her partner steals Raylan's car, which is an especial problem given that they take it to the junkyard to be crushed with Raylan's bounty still locked in the trunk. This leads to the kind of multi-sided showdown with which the show makes its living; the upshot is that Raylan recaptures his prisoner and learns from the kids that they were after not just the wire but the bag's contents. This sends Raylan to see Arlo for the first time since Arlo's incarceration, and while Arlo claims not to know anything about the license, another prisoner overhears the exchange and approaches Arlo about making some money off the contents of the bag – and Arlo replies by slitting the guy's throat. He probably could have settled the good behavior question less messily, but how else could we have left him contemplating literal blood on his hands?
Want more? The full recap starts right below!While it's true each season of this show has been its own discrete story, it seemed to me from the previews that this season was going to be a bit more of a reset; still a lot of the same characters (although Natalie Zea, who played Winona, is gone from the opening credits; if it's of interest, she'll still be under the Fox umbrella on The Following), but not much attempt to tie up any of the stuff we saw last season. It's early to say, but this episode certainly seems to bear that impression out -- for example, in this episode, there's no Limehouse, no Dickie, and, sadly, no one from the Marshals Office other than, very briefly, Rachel. But without further ado:
As a hard electric guitar and the strains of AC/DC's "Hell's Bells" play, we open on a street so suburban it makes the musical choice rocket past light irony. A chyron helpfully informs us that it's January 21, 1983, and we see a deliveryman, with a practiced arm, toss a newspaper onto the steps of a porch still lousy with the sort of gaudy oversized Christmas decorations you'd sadly probably expect. The paper's masthead lets us know that we're in Corbin, KY (about an hour and a half from Harlan, according to Google Maps), and then a middle-aged man in a robe and pajamas opens the door in medias nags, as his wife is apparently up his ass for not having taken the Christmas lights down yet, and their practiced bitchery suggests their breakfast routine consists of too much coffee or not enough. The man returns inside and closes the door, but before we get to hear any further advertisements for the wonders of marriage, we see, reflected in the door's glass, a man plummet to the ground, followed by a parachute that apparently is not going to get a bonus this year. The man comes back out to find a grisly tableau -- the parachutist is lying on the ground, limbs twisted every which way and surrounded by not just his own blood and guts but, spilled out from a bag the hapless man was carrying, several large, well, bricks of some white powder. I don't know exactly what it may be, but if the guy was going to meet his end like this, I hope he at least dipped into the stash beforehand. And not to be all CSI: Cul-De-Sac about it, but if you notice, the guy is only wearing one shoe -- it may not be significant, but it does strike me as out of the ordinary. Unlike everything else about this, obvs. "Sherman" calls to his wife to phone the police, and when she asks what it is lying in the street, he replies, "Well, it sure as shit ain't Santa Claus!" Got a lot of the colors right, though. Also, you get new writers at the beginning of every season, so I'm just wondering if anyone on the current staff ever worked for Six Feet Under?
Back in the present, Raylan has his eyes closed when Rachel (loooooove her) enters the office and points out that his phone is ringing. He replies, "Thank you, Donny," and when she doesn't get the reference, he IDs it for her as being from The Big Lebowski. "Netflix it -- you can be one of the cool kids." Being one myself, it's not how I'd describe people dextrous enough to quote that film from memory, but Raylan's customary bone-dry delivery lends the requisite irony to the statement. Raylan then finally answers his phone, and it's a woman who identifies herself as "Sharon Emmonds." The name is meaningless to Raylan, but the reminder that they met at a law-enforcement expo in Miami a few years back is not, if the ensuing mostly-naked flashback to a put-upon hotel room is any indication. After some flirting involving mini-bar macadamia nuts, which, like everything, is sexier in that accent than it reads on paper, Sharon tells Raylan that she's working in bail bonds in Knoxville, and seeing as how he's with the eastern district of Kentucky "now," she could use a little of his help. She asks if he's interested, so we can gather that this perhaps is a transaction not entirely sanctioned by law, and when he points out he hasn't yet hung up, she gives him the name of a "Jody Adair," 41 years old, charged with double homicide. He skipped town on $250,000 bail, and since she as the bondsperson is on the hook for some of that (although not nearly as much as you might think), she'll pay Raylan three grand if he manages to get eyes on Adair and tip off the local authorities, which just might happen, given that his ex-wife lives in Lexington. Raylan's been giving furtive looks in Rachel's direction this whole time, but, judging that her attention is elsewhere, he tells Sharon to send him the address and a photograph. After they disconnect, he tells Rachel he's got to go out for a bit, and it seems like she just might suspect he's up to no good, but surely you have to pick your battles when taking on a drawling charmer with a gun.
In a lower-rent part of town, Adair is knocking insistently on a door as Raylan, in his car, checks him out and confirms his face matches the picture Sharon sent him. Adair's ex-wife opens up for him, and he wants to see the kids, but she won't let him in; the details are superfluous, but he's left to trudge away, tossing aside a bag of fast food and attendant toys in the process. As he does, Raylan is on the phone with Sharon, and given that we're in the predawn hours, I hope she at least gave him permission to call day or night. Raylan then slides down his window and informs Adair he dropped something, but Adair tells him to pick it up if he likes before heading to his car. He hops in and grabs a gun out of the glove compartment as he makes it clear that his wife is not going to get off that easy, but suddenly, Raylan is at his window, the bag in his hand. Adair rolls his eyes and tells him he can have the burgers, but they've served their purpose at this point, so Raylan breaks the window with his elbow and then holds a gun on Adair, ordering him out of the car in that voice that will brook no shenanigans. Adair, however, isn't familiar enough with that tone, so he lets Raylan know that he's got him covered through the door. Adair, I hate to tell you this, but you've got that thing pointed at Raylan's junk, so even if you're the quicker draw, you're going to find yourself lynched by an angry mob of women like something out of The Handmaid's Tale. For his part, Raylan doesn't flinch, and the two of them measure their dicks for a while, and for Raylan at least, it might be his last chance. However, when Adair tells Raylan that, given who he's sure he's working for, he's not going to shoot him, Raylan sighs that he's right -- and puts one into the steering wheel, causing the airbag to inflate instantly. I don't know much about street cred, but I'd imagine that's not a story Adair's going to want to get out. Raylan gets Adair's barely conscious ass on the ground and quickly cuffs his hands behind his back, and then he gives Sharon a call and asks what the reward for just bringing Adair in is. We don't hear the reply, but if Sharon doesn't propose some sort of non-monetary bonus, she doesn't remember Miami like she should. Credits.
We come back to a close-up of a pocket watch, and I trust you won't need three guesses to figure out to whom it belongs. Boyd drawls to a "Hiram" about Hiram having been saved, and Hiram confirms that, but when Boyd asks if there was a human component to said redemption, Hiram uncertainly replies, "I gotta be honest now, Boyd; lot of times, the way you say things, I can't make hide nor hair." We'll have ample evidence this episode that Hiram is not the sharpest tack, but I can't say he hasn't got a point here. Boyd clarifies his question -- does Hiram owe his conversion to a church -- and Hiram confirms that "Last Chance Holiness" is responsible for his spiritual turnaround. Boyd, who looks more sunken-eyed and skeletal than ever -- I adore Walton Goggins, but if he survives to Season Six, I suspect he's going to be a talking skull with spiky hair -- confesses that he hasn't heard of "that collection plate," so Hiram tells him it's new, and it's just a tent in the woods now, but "Preacher Billy" is the real deal. Hiram goes on to excitedly babble that PB has been healing "the afflicted," including addicts, which is why Boyd's oxy sales have dropped off. Boyd looks at his watch again, and I didn't catch this on first viewing but it's almost like he's waiting for something to happen, and then tells Hiram that while receiving the Lord into one's heart is quite lovely -- he'd know, of course -- the fact that Hiram's conversion happened only a week ago is problematic, since he -- he's one of Boyd's dealers, don't you know -- got a shipment of oxy three weeks ago that's yet to be paid for. Hiram says he stopped selling before then, and what's more, he flushed "that poison" down the toilet. Boyd selectively quotes some Scripture in babbling about pills being just like holy wine, and he sounds good saying it, but it's hard to argue with Hiram's contention that Boyd is just "twisting the word of God for [his] own dark purposes." Still, Boyd gets the last word when, after he steps away from the window, a car outside -- presumably Hiram's -- blows up, and I couldn't see if he detonated it just now or if it was on timer, but the latter would explain him keeping such a careful eye on his watch. Surprisingly, Boyd foregoes any wordplay on "dark purposes" and the brightness of the spectacle outside, but he does caution Hiram that if he doesn't have his money by the following evening, "the firecracker's gonna go off in here." He sidles on out, the light from the explosion still shining through the translucent glass...
...and then we cut to a much darker location -- Arlo's house, as we'll later learn even if it's not immediately recognizable. Inside, a male and female teenager (not sure when or even if their names are given, but they're "Benny" and "Roz") use sledgehammers to break a hole in a wall ("the wall"?), and Benny takes the opportunity to strip some of the copper wires out, but Roz asking him what the hell he's doing makes it clear that that's not their primary errand. When the hole's big enough, Roz shines a light in, and we see a bag that, despite all the dust and age, looks awfully familiar if you've watched the opening scene enough times to notice anything other than that mangled parachutist. But before the kids can attempt to retrieve the bag, they hear a siren and see the lights of a cop car approaching, and when Benny asks what they do now, Roz's response is "We run, you dumb shit." Well, guess we know who's the Boyd and who's the Hiram of this pair.
Outside, the kids run up the street into the dark -- not sure why they wouldn't escape into the woods, but it's not my ass going to juvie if they get caught -- and, instead of pursuing, Patton Oswalt gets out of the car and yells some impotent-sounds threats. He's dressed in what looks like a sheriff's uniform, but we'll learn he's actually "Constable Bob Sweeney." Bob grabs his Maglite and goes inside to check the house out...
...while, in the latter's car, Adair is taunting Raylan by guessing what his affiliation is. He notes that it can't be local, as Raylan would have IDed himself as such, so he settles on Federal, and adds that bounty hunting is illegal in Kentucky. Raylan tells Adair that continued chattiness will result in an introduction to the trunk of his car, so Adair requests and receives permission before asking if it means anything to Raylan that he has no priors. Raylan isn't interested, but becomes so when Adair brings up his kids, and he asks Adair if he gets visitation. Adair says he does, but it's limited since he doesn't have a place suitable for children; he starts working up a head of steam about that, but Raylan's phone rings, and it's Bob. When Raylan hears about the break-in, that puts him in a shitty enough mood, and when Adair won't shut up, Raylan slams on the brakes, causing Adair to lurch forward painfully, and it would have really been hilarious if Raylan had a passenger-side airbag. As Adair licks his wounds, Raylan lectures him that he's got no self-awareness -- he thinks trying to do right by his kids excuses all else, and that is interesting on a number of levels -- one, Raylan is doing something illegal for his unborn kid's sake (as he admits later) right now, but more broadly, a lot of antiheroes from groundbreaking TV shows in the past ten years -- Walter White, Tony Soprano, Dexter Morgan, just to name a few -- have, at one time or another, used family to justify (ooh, see what I did there) their nefarious actions (Adair, by the way, killed a couple heroin dealers when they wouldn't be robbed without a fight), so it's interesting to hear Raylan draw attention to the phenomenon. Anyway, Raylan sums up his little speech by reciting an old saying: "You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. You run into assholes all day? You're the asshole." It's a lot of assholery for Adair to wrap his head around...
...but he'll have time to figure it out, as Raylan's locking him in the trunk and tossing the bag of cold burgers in with him. Given that Adair's hands are cuffed behind his back, that means he's just going to be smelling them for hours, which is hilariously rude. Adair starts to talk about what he's going to do to Raylan if he gets free, which is Raylan's cue to roll his eyes and shut the trunk. Both are appreciated.
It's whorin' time! Ellen May, who I think I described rather accurately in the recaplet, opens up her trailer door for a besuited gentleman holding a large box (not a euphemism -- yet). Inside, he shows her a little origami he made for her, and she's like, "Whuuuut eeeees eeeet," in that stupid voice that makes me want to go back and watch Ava deck her again. When she realizes there are drugs in it, she balks, as she won't do oxy or meth anymore, but he assures her it's better -- "mellow." I wonder if the mysterious drug could be the same as some stuff we last saw in a cul-de-sac? While he's cutting it up, she unfolds the fake bill and is like, oh my God, a million dollars, and seriously, how does she even remember to breathe? The guy, with far more patience than I could muster, assures her it's not real, but in more relevant information, it's been issued by the Last Chance Holiness church, and I'd wonder about the marketing hook if not for the Are You Dumber Than A Fifth-Grader performance we just saw from Ellen May. Oh, the guy somewhat answers my question by telling her there's some religious screed on the other side, and he goes on that he thought it was funny to use it for so forsaken a purpose. Ellen May pretends to understand what he's talking about, and then he tells her he's got another surprise for her, but she has to keep her eyes closed. She tells him she can't wait, and Hoovers up a bunch of the white stuff...
...and then she's lying on the bed, with him calling a reminder to keep her eyes closed. We see him approaching the bed wearing a bear suit, and when he tells her to open her eyes, he raises his paws over his head and roars. Ellen May's response is to grab a gun from a shelf to her and fire off no fewer than five shots, none of which appear to hit him anywhere vital, at least. On the other hand, the costume store sure isn't giving him his deposit back. As the guy writhes and moans on the floor, still in the damn bear suit, Ellen May continues to hyperventilate like the absolute moron she is...
...while Bob is leading Raylan into Arlo's place, explaining that he installed a motion detector that sends him a text every time it picks something up. Raylan asks how much that's costing him, so he's got Bob looking after the place, which would be more touching if he weren't likely doing it in case Arlo tried anything. Of course, having seen the rest of the episode, it's hard to give Raylan a hard time for that. When Raylan sees the size of the hole the kids made, he sighs that he's not "gonna cover that up with the smell of bakin' cookies," and then Bob talks about how if he'd caught the kids, he would have "opened a Costco-size can a whup-ass on 'em," and given that we saw Bob decline even to chase the kids in his car, I think we can be pretty sure that Bob hasn't risen past the rank of constable for reasons different than he thinks. The ensuing conversation gives further evidence of Bob's blowhard nature while establishing that these two have known each other at least since high school, but we sooner have more important things on which to focus, as Raylan gets the bag out of the wall. In it, he doesn't find any drugs, but does find a Kentucky driver's license for a "Waldo Truth," of Versailles, issued in 1979. He looks at Bob, but Bob merely shrugs...
...and then we cut to outside, where Bob is saying he knows everyone thinks being a constable is a joke, and it's like the show knows his prattle works better as background noise, because while he's talking, we get a close-up of the bag, which reads "Correspondence Diplomatica." That seems mixed-up in terms of the languages involved, but regardless of whether a PA screwed up using Google Translate or not, it seems like a clear indication of the thing's importance even without benefit of seeing the opening splat. Bob goes on about how people can underestimate him at their peril, which makes me wonder if he's planning on going on a competitive reality show anytime soon, and Raylan's response makes the early dynamic look pretty clearly like he's got reasonable affection for Bob, although he reserves the right to secretly laugh at him at his discretion. Bob concludes by saying he's always at Raylan's disposal -- he's got a "go-bag" ready for the occasion -- and then swaggers back to his car while Raylan opens up the trunk, tosses the bag back there, and tells Adair, whose mood does not look improved by his stint in the dark, that he's got to make one more stop. "Stay quiet, I'll let you back up front." Hey, Raylan's kid, make a note -- you might want to behave yourself on road trips with Dad. Meanwhile, from a car a ways off, Benny and Roz observe everything that's happened.
Ava has shown up to Ellen May's trailer for some damage control, and Ellen May explains that "Arnold" is a furry. Wait, she knew that? Now I'm kind of fascinated to see if they can make her any dumber. She goes on that Arnold usually dresses as a bunny and that the bear suit was a good costume, and as much as her backwoodsness annoys me, it does mean I'll have to grant her that one. She wonders if he'll press charges, but Ava says as a "judge executive," he's not really going to be in position to for image reasons. However, she wonders what the hell Ellen May was doing with a gun at work, and when Ellen May says she's been hit, Ava says if a man does that to her, to tell her and she'll take care of it. Ellen May thinks she's being sly when she counters that it's not just clients who hit, but Ava's like, I killed a man for you, so maybe consider that my well-deserved payment? Ellen May gets more general when she says she just feels scared and low, so Ava sits with her and reminds her that's why she told her to get off meth, and coke too. "You can't do the jittery stuff, Ellen May!" After today, I reckon Arnold's no fan of her on the "mellow" stuff either. Ellen May nods despondently, and Ava tells her there will have to be consequences for what she's done, although she'll have to confer with Boyd to figure out what they are. She then offhandedly picks up the bill and notes the church's name before telling Ellen May that whatever happens, she can't have a gun at work. Ellen May sincerely says she knows, so Ava leaves her to once again contemplate the bill in her hands. It's true it's not real, hon, but for shooting up a client, you're lucky to get even that.
Raylan's in a hardware store, and the proprietor, "Mike," is asking after Arlo's mental state, recalling that the last time he was in, he stood by the wall staring into space for a five-minute stretch at one point. He adds that it unnerved him, so I'd suggest he not watch me when I'm recapping past midnight. Raylan tells Mike he's not going to be subject to such problems, as he doesn't plan on seeing Arlo, but his attention is then diverted by Roz, who's spilled a bunch of, as we'll learn, screws on the floor. She makes a joke about having a screw loose, and then, when Raylan approaches, holds one up and asks if he wants one. It having been a long time since Raylan got this forward an overture from someone with braces, he's a bit flustered but says he's all right, but when he pushes past her to go, she asks his opinion: "How are these?" She lifts up her shirt -- we don't see anything, but I'm including a bra in that statement -- and goes on that she was a late bloomer, and they only came in the year before. Raylan, whose eyebrows initially went north of the Mason-Dixon line, recovers to reply, "Patience is a virtue!" When he's gone, Roz heads for the back door, flashing Mike on the way, who accepts the toll with a big smile...
...and then Raylan's coming back in and asking where the girl went, and when Mike tells him, he reveals that his car is gone. And it wouldn't be nearly as funny if this weren't an homage to that same scene in The Big Lebowski. Raylan, now you're really one of the cool kids!
At Boyd's bar, he, Ava and Johnny are having a little confab about the decline in oxy sales; Ava doesn't believe some little church could be responsible, while Johnny points out that the FDA changed the formula for oxy, making it harder to get high. Boyd, however, counters that their supply predates that development, and Johnny and Ava squabble a bit before Boyd says Johnny's the one in the hot seat, and then makes me love him even more -- didn't think that was possible -- by correctly using "nonplussed" to describe his reaction to Johnny's apparent indifference, and if Boyd ever refers to someone sick to his stomach as "nauseated," I will knock Ava out of the way to get my hands on him. Johnny, having been told, agrees to find out what he can, and when he's gone, the mood lightens despite the subject of Ellen May being on the agenda. Boyd's not too worried about the incident, and then he puts his head on Ava's shoulder and lightly whines that no one said running a criminal enterprise was going to be this hard. Heh. Ava, matching his humor, jokes that they left that part out on Career Day, and then they say "Dr. Pepper" so many times in quick succession that I wonder if it's actual product placement or just a parody of same, but whichever it is, Ava goes to get him that soda, the name of which I've already forgotten...
...but her good mood fades when she gets out there, and the lone customer, a weird sunglasses-inside dude whose relaxed voice only serves to put you more ill at ease, asks if Boyd is in. The bartender, not entirely convincingly, plays dumb on that front, and Johnny and Ava exchange a wary side-eye before Johnny hobbles up (was he out of the wheelchair last time we saw him? In any case, he's walking with a cane now) and asks where the guy is from. The guy tells him Bel Air, Maryland, and adds that it's the birthplace of John Wilkes Booth, as if Lincoln needs any more shout-outs at the moment. Johnny asks what brings him to Harlan, and the guy repeats Boyd's name. Similarly, Johnny says he's never heard of him, so the guy tells him a story of how military police swear that if you ask someone a location-based question, you should just watch his eyes for the answer, and while Johnny gave nothing away, "Scooter over here" let his eyes move tellingly. Well, that may be giving Johnny undue credit -- he would have had to do a 180 to look in Boyd's general direction, and he's having a hard enough time with the cane as it is. Johnny invites the guy to visit one of their many exits, and the guy's like, sure, no problem -- but he tosses his empty bottle at Johnny and uses the distraction to knock his cane out from under him, and then, reaching Ava, grabs her hand and HILARIOUSLY twirls her like they're taking a ballroom dance class together before heading Boyd's way. Ava gets a gun from Jim (Scooter) and heads back in pursuit...
...only to find the two men whooping excitedly in a bear hug. Boyd then introduces his Desert Storm friend, "Sgt. Colton Rhodes," played by Ron Eldard; Boyd then asks how many times Colton jailed him in Kuwait (Colton was in fact MP, as his comment earlier might have suggested), and Colton says he honestly lost count. I don't know what manner of things Boyd did to warrant arrest, but I certainly can't see him controlling his mouth in front of military authority. He'd make Bill Murray in Stripes seem obedient.
Raylan has called Bob, and after Bob says that the scam scenario Raylan fell for is happening a lot these days -- if that's true, Harlan should start handing out beads, Mardi Gras-style -- they get in Bob's car, whereupon Bob asks Raylan to go for his gun. Raylan sighs, but reluctantly gives in; he moves at about 1/300 of his normal speed, but Bob doesn't notice as he draws a knife and slashes air for a bit before saying that year, the State Po-lice are going to take him. This goes on for a while, and Patton Oswalt is doing a fine job, and I give allowances for this being the season premiere, but a little less of the character tilting at windmills will go a longer way with me. However, he redeems himself by suggesting they check out the scrap yard first, as metal thieves will often sell stolen cars there. When Raylan hears that his car might be crushed, he tells Bob to get them there ten minutes ago, and even sanctions Bob's use of his lights and siren. Hee.
When they get to the scrap yard, Raylan is relieved to find that his car is still intact, but less so about discovering that the trunk is empty. Of course, the kids would have opened it up to retrieve the bag and gotten a little more than they bargained for, and even though the hardhat-sporting administrator of the establishment denies having seen who brought the thing in, Raylan and Bob know he's lying -- Bob because he knows the guy traffics in stolen cars, and as such would have paid the kids; Raylan because he knows the kids couldn't have gotten Adair out of there without being seen. Raylan also finds the empty hamburger bag -- either Adair scarfed those down once he got out, or he was pretty dextrous with his mouth -- and, without much further ado, he punches the metal dealer in his lying mouth, much to Bob's delight. Meanwhile, inside the site's office, Benny is holding a gun on Adair, who wonders if he's up to killing Raylan should it come down to it. Benny pretty clearly isn't, so Adair tells him he can handle it if Benny will only use a conveniently present angle grinder to cut his chains. Benny and Roz exchange a look, and then Benny hands her the gun and makes to free Adair. Adair gives them his secrets for tracking and robbing heroin dealers, and if they get out of this situation maybe Benny and Roz will branch out from wire-stripping and boob-flashing, but before Adair can retrieve the gun from Roz, Raylan enters.
Roz covers him, but when Adair tells her to shoot him, she balks, leaving Raylan open: "Jesus, girl, you just showed me your tits forty-five minutes ago!" Well, Raylan, such a betrayal happens all the time in Bond movies -- usually in more like forty-five seconds, too. Raylan gets more serious, though, as he displays his badge and identifies himself as "a Deputy U.S. Marshal with a one-time offer." This violates most commonsense advice, Roz, but given that it's Raylan I'd take it without waiting to hear the details. But she's a savvier negotiator than I, so he goes on that if she'll give him the gun, he'll grant her and Benny a free pass for stealing her car. It takes a few seconds, but he's got her; unfortunately, once again before she can hand over the gun, the metal dealer enters with Bob (he's got, presumably, Bob's gun on him) and, to add insult to injury, his go-bag. Heh. Raylan tries to temper his disgust, given how life-or-death this situation just became, but he does ask how it happened, and the dude can't wait to reveal that Bob asked him to pull on him, and he punched him in the nose. Bob: "He did it wrong!" Hee.
Raylan isn't amused like I am, but neither does he allow himself to get distracted, as he tells Adair to reverse the steps he just took forward before offering the metal dealer amnesty. The guy counters that it's not as good as Adair's offer, and Benny pipes up that it's ten grand, but Raylan, in a voice you'd use on a fibbing child, asks Adair if he has ten grand stuck up his ass. Roz pipes up that it's hidden up in Lexington, and Raylan looks like he just realized he's dealing with a bunch of Ellen Mays but soldiers on and says that in addition to letting them go, he'll give them whatever's in his wallet, which must be at least five hundred bucks. Of course, if he was in the financial shape to carry around five hundred in cash, he probably wouldn't need to hire out for bounty-hunter work, but regardless, Roz has "Henry" check his wallet, and Henry announces, "Twelve bucks, Piggly Wiggly card!" Hee. Of course, this was all a ploy, as Raylan takes advantage of the new proximity to elbow Henry in the face, and then Bob tries to redeem himself by charging Adair, only to get booted in the groin for his trouble.
Before you know it, Adair has the gun in one hand and Roz in the other as a hostage, and, apparently willing to bet Raylan won't take a shot, makes to take the Marshal down. What he doesn't see is that Bob has drawn his knife and inched along the floor, and, with no time to spare, he raises the knife -- and stabs Roz in the foot. It's not clear if this was his intention or if he was going for Adair and missed, but either way, Roz collapsing in pain has as good an effect as could have been hoped, as she pulls Adair down with her, and by the time he can recover, Raylan is on him, and it's over in a second. Well, actually, I'm not sure what Raylan's going to do about handcuffs, but that's a problem for the commercial break. Hilariously, Benny asks if they can still take Raylan up on his offer, but despite Bob's answering scoff, Raylan says yes -- if they'll tell him why they were so hot on getting the bag. Benny and Roz look at each other, but they might as well talk. I mean, she's not going anywhere fast.
When we return, we're back in front of Arlo's house, with Adair safely in the back seat of Raylan's car, and (a) I don't think Raylan has been to work in about a day and a half, and (b) did he even sleep last night, having had Adair to deal with? Maybe Adair spent some more time in the trunk, but I wonder if Raylan would risk that again. After asking Bob to hold on to a few things from Arlo's place -- given who had the place robbed, I wonder what exactly they are -- Raylan suggests they keep the whole thing to themselves, but just because Bob has a buffoonish streak doesn't mean he's an idiot, as he heatedly says he knows Raylan only called him because he was doing something that could have cost him his job. Before Bob can get worked up enough to ask Raylan to draw on him again, though, Raylan apologizes and explains he was just trying to pick up a little money to throw his unborn kid's way. Bob softens at the thought of Raylan's wonderful genes living on, and Raylan compliments Bob on stepping up. Bob bites out that all he did was stab a teenage girl in the foot, but Raylan, as close to philosophical as he gets, replies that because of that, the both of them are still alive. "And we live to see another day." With that, he gets in the car and tells Adair, "Not a word." Adair: "Not a problem... Raylan." Heh.
Out on a bridge -- I assume it's not the one to Nobles Holler, and more's the pity -- Boyd, in his truck, asks Colton how he lost his rank (he mentioned earlier that he was demoted), and Colton tells the story of how he took nuts-kneeing revenge on a guy who perpetrated a high slide into second base during a charity game. Unfortunately, the guy reported the incident, which cost Colton his rank, so he paid the guy back for that by shooting him in the bicep. Shockingly, this resulted in a discharge, although he was saved from a stint in Leavenworth by the universal knowledge of what a prick the high-slider was.
Boyd is just having a gay old time hearing these stories of anger non-management, but soon, Colton is asking what he's doing there, so apparently his appearance in Harlan was by invitation. Boyd takes a moment and says he's a criminal, and when Colton replies that he knows, Boyd tells him he needs someone he can trust, and I wonder if Boyd knows about Johnny's treachery or more simply senses something's generally off, but it's obvious he feels like he needs an absolutely loyal enforcer type. He asks if Colton would consider "crossing the line," and Colton wonders if Boyd kills people. Boyd: "People have been killed." Heh. That's the "I didn't lie; I just didn't mention it" of hardcore criminals. His gun in plain sight between them, Boyd says he has to go see a man about some money, and suggests Colton come along for a dry run. "Let's just see how it goes." Colton's eyes float down to the gun to him, but I haven't heard a "no" yet.
Ah, Raylan has come to see Arlo, and you'll be shocked to hear they start bickering immediately over the fact that Arlo's house hasn't sold yet (Arlo: "The axing price is too high"). Raylan takes the discussion of the house as an opportunity to bring up the fact that it currently has holes in the wall, and Arlo looks at him with eyes like steel before Raylan pulls the bag out. Arlo's face betrays nothing as he asks what that is, but Raylan accuses him of hiring the kids to steal it out of the house for him, and wonders what could be so important. Arlo swears "on your mother's grave" that he doesn't know anything about it, and I only hope he gets an earful for that in the afterlife, but Raylan produces the license and holds it up to the glass. Arlo claims he can't read without his glasses, so Raylan tells him what's on it, but Arlo's only comment is that "Truth" is a strange last name. He goes on that with a boy on the way, he'd think Raylan would have more important concerns, but Raylan counters that maybe it'll be a girl. "End the family line right here." Arlo tells Raylan that if he thinks he got all his "turmoil" from him, he's mistaken, because his mother was no saint. He concludes that Raylan should just put the bag back in the wall and forget about it, and from the flow of the conversation I wonder if there's an implication that Raylan's mother had a connection to the bag, but either way, Raylan's now the one to go steely: "I didn't say it was in the wall." Arlo's lip twitches, just a little, and then he calls for the guard to take him away, probably to tweak his meds so slip-ups like that don't happen again. Raylan heads out, but on his way, he passes a prisoner on cleanup duty, and from the look on the guy's face, he had more than a passing interest in that conversation.
So Boyd has tied Hiram to a chair with some explosives and set an attached fuse alight, and he asks where the money is. Hiram directs him to one of the fake million-dollar bills on the table, and Boyd tells him that's funny. "You wouldn't think a man with a stick of dynamite in his lap would go for funny." Hee. Hiram holds out longer than I would have expected, but does finally tell Boyd his money is under the lawnmower outside. Boyd silently directs Colton to check it out as he picks up the fuse in time, and then quotes Isaac Asimov before asking why Hiram held out so long. Hiram sticks out his chin and says he was going to give the money to the church, and that Preacher Billy is saving people, one soul at a time. He adds that Boyd should try it, but Boyd darkly reminds us that he already has. Colton then returns with the money, and Boyd gets up to go, but not without warning Colton that no one need know about the money -- even Ava. Ooh, interesting development.
Boyd then tells Colton to "take care of" Hiram, and Hiram does -- by shooting Hiram in the head. Boyd flinches as hard as you'll ever see and asks what the hell that was -- he only meant Colton should untie Hiram, and Colton's basically like, "Whoops!" I suppose, given Colton's earlier questions about killing, Boyd had reason not to think Colton would do this, but it wouldn't have hurt to be clearer, as Boyd realizes: "Well, I guess I have to be more careful with my words." On the other hand, it looks like Colton's taken the job.
Raylan enters the bar and is pointed upstairs, where he finds Lindsey, who apologizes for using his bathroom. He doesn't mind so much, and their ensuing small talk makes it clear that he told her all about his bounty-hunting errand -- even the part about the "super-hot" bail bondswoman. He tells her he got ten grand, but although I assume he got more than the original three for bringing Adair in personally, the shot of him hastily putting the money away in a drawer makes it seem like he still might be lying about the amount, although I'm not sure why he would. Lindsey then says she should get back downstairs for "Come Get Effed-Up Friday," but Raylan cozies up to her and asks if she really needs to be down there soon, and she concedes that "soon" might have some flexibility in the definition.
Boyd hides the money he just got from Hiram in the ceiling, so I guess he wasn't kidding about Colton not telling Ava. Just a thought, but with Bob having made such a big deal about his go-bag earlier, I wonder if there's going to be a theme this season of people preparing to leave Harlan if necessary. Boyd then sits down and regards the one bit of "currency" he didn't stash -- the Last Chance Holiness bill...
...which leads us, finally, to the tent/church in question. Preacher Billy is an unassuming-looking young man, played by 29-year-old Joe Mazzello, who (a) worked with Graham Yost on The Pacific, and, far more hilariously, (b) was the kid in Jurassic Park. Here, he starts dancing to typical up-tempo Pentecostal music -- the kind that's great for standing and speaking in tongues, as one lady does (it's mostly fast "Hallelujahs," but I think I heard some gibberish in there as well) -- and, of course, handling a large snake. I'm actually not particularly squeamish when it comes to snakes -- I had a friend in elementary school who owned a python and brought it into class often enough -- but watching the handling of venomous snakes is always like waiting for the other shoe to drop, so this injects baseline tension into a subplot that I expect will be fraught with it soon enough.
Preacher Billy tells the gathered crowd -- I'd put the number somewhere in the thirties -- that they will be saved by following signs, and then speculates that what everyone there really wants to know is -- referencing the serpent in his hand -- does he get bit? The answer, he claims, is yes -- he's been bitten twice so far by the snake in his hand -- he holds her up for emphasis -- and says he survived by the Lord's wishes. He goes on, however, that not all survive, and, putting his arm around a blonde woman on the stage, he says "[their] Daddy" died from a snakebite, as did his father before him, so I guess (a) this woman is his sister, and (b) with all the jostling these kids probably did to impress their parents, the snakes in their house got quite a workout. Preacher Billy concludes that dying in such a manner is the highest example of obedience to the Lord, and then wonders why the newcomers are there -- to watch the hillbilly with the snakes, or to be saved? Well, between those choices, I know which one I'd pick, but he repeats the question more gently to one specific person seated in the back -- Ellen May. She looks scared, but she shouldn't worry -- I'm sure the venom is mellow.
The prisoner who had his eyes on Arlo and Raylan earlier wheels a cart of books down the hall between cells, and when he reaches Arlo's, he motions to the guard to open it. This wakes Arlo up, and he says he didn't ask for a book, but the guy, who looks uncannily like a younger Michael Madsen and who Arlo addresses as "Trustee," references what Raylan had with him, saying he heard about a bag like it once before and it could be worth some money. He makes it sound like the stuff of shadowy legend so much I'm reminded of The Monkey's Paw, and let's just say the way the scene ends doesn't exactly make the thing's history any more savory.
Michael Madsen Jr. quizzes Arlo on what Raylan showed him, particularly the name on the license, but Arlo lies that he doesn't know. Michael Madsen Jr. declares his intention to make a call and find out what the bag might be worth, but Arlo tells him first to give him a book, and when Michael Madsen Jr. scoffs that he doesn't read, Arlo says he can. "Just don't choose to, usually." You probably don't need the clue, but it is a nice touch that Arlo just told Raylan he can't read a thing without his glasses, because I don't see any around. Michael Madsen Jr. makes the mistake of turning his back on Arlo as he peruses his selection, a mistake that proves to be fatal (it seems, anyway) when Arlo, quick as a cat, sneaks a blade out of his mattress, gets to his feet, and slits Michael Madsen Jr.'s jugular and carotid artery, leaving Michael Madsen Jr. to gasp, "Why?" And unlike Nancy Kerrigan, he'll never get an answer. As alarms go off, Arlo regards his handiwork, and then lets his weapon -- his toothbrush, with a small razor blade attached to the end -- cinematically fall to the ground. As guards rush into the cellblock, Arlo deliberately lies back down and regards his stained hands, writing this chapter into the bag's bloody history. And I don't know about you, but for me, a chilling reminder that Arlo is not some addled cuddly bunny is quite the way to send Justified in a slightly new and exciting direction. See you week!
John Ramos is a writer and film producer living in Los Angeles. His new film, a documentary on online privacy and the sale of personal data called Terms And Conditions May Apply, will premiere at the Slamdance Film Festival in January. You can get news on it from the film's Twitter account. Also, you can email John at couchbaron@gmail.com, follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/couchbaron, or check out his blog, "Pull Up A Chair," which he'd just love for you to stop by.
John Ramos is a writer and film producer living in Los Angeles. His new film, a documentary on online privacy and the sale of personal data called Terms And Conditions May Apply, will premiere at the Slamdance Film Festival in January. You can get news on it from the film's Twitter account. Also, you can email John at couchbaron@gmail.com, follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/couchbaron, or check out his blog, "Pull Up A Chair," which he'd just love for you to stop by.