Judging Amy Blast From The Past

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Blast From The Past

Blast From The Past - Some shirtless stud basks in the glow of both his own virility, and of the fire. This naughty, shameless cheesecake babe in red satin gathers her clothing from the floor. Sorry, folks. It looks like I'm recapping American Booty tonight. Except, oh my God, the hussy in the red is Maxine. And the shirtless stud is Richard "I'm Evil. You Just Don't Know Why, Yet" Crenna. She's trying to sneak out without waking him up. It's nice to see that the Walk of Shame knows no age limit.

Jessica

Not With A Whimper

Not With A Whimper - Amy's date excuses himself "for a moment." Amy digs into the bread. He appears to be gone for quite awhile, since she manages to devour the entire basket. Maybe Mr. Portnoy climbed out the bathroom window. Nope, he finally returns and tells Amy that he isn't hungry anymore and that sitting there with her made him want to call his ex-wife.

Jessica

Gray vs. Gray

Gray vs. Gray - Amy whines that since Maxine is so busy getting it on with her creepy millionaire and she herself is so busy "teaching at Yale" and dealing with Her Mini Brattiness, Lauren, it just feels like they're merely "sharing space." Maxine muses that perhaps that's a good thing, as it may keep them from "having words."

Jessica

The God Thing

The God Thing - Our intrepid heroine's bestest friend at work, Greta (guest star Amy Aquino), returns to her judicial post after a battle with cancer. She looks mahvelous, darlings, and credits her health and well being to The Lord. Amy is dumbfounded by this revelation. Which makes sense because people rarely find religion in times of personal crisis.

Jessica

The Out-of-Towners

The Out-of-Towners - At DCF, Maxine is talking to a distraught young mother, who explains that while her husband is a good father, he beats her. Call me crazy, but I don't think that beating your children's mother is being a good father.

Jessica

Human Touch

Human Touch - In the Halls of Justice, Amy presides over the custody hearing du jour; Eric Capono, stepfather, is fighting Natural Father Paul Brody for custody of Daughter Caroline, whose mother, Eric's wife, has recently died.

Jessica

Drawing The Line

Drawing The Line - Maxine arrives…somewhere, to find one of her former DCF charges sitting…somewhere, with his skateboard. He's been accused of shoplifting from a local department store and called her to bail him out. Maxine is all cranky because she didn't get to finish breakfast.

Jessica

Culture Clash

Culture Clash - As Amy starts explaining, again, that, see, the Ex In-Laws loooove her, Vincent yelps and kind of floats over to a display of books. "Oh my God," he says, picking up a handsome paperback. Amy snatches it out of his hands, reading the title: "A Time of Luck and Kindness by VINCENT GRAY! Oh MY GOD!" she hollers, as Vincent turns green and says, "Oh my God," like, forty-five thousand more times.

Jessica

Shaken, Not Stirred

Shaken, Not Stirred - Tom asks why he wouldn't want her on the Carnival Committee, and Amy tells him she's "terrible at things like this." Tom tells her it's because the kids get to have all the fun and then says it "doesn't have to be like that." The next thing you know, Tom has challenged Amy to a race.

Keckler

Zero To Sixty

Zero To Sixty - At the Ranch, the children Gray are planning what a newly-made banner tells us is Maxine's 60th birthday party.

Jessica