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By Deborah

At the bookstore, Joan runs into GodFella (which, honestly, might be my favourite avatar name, though not nearly my favourite avatar. I just wish I'd thought that up. Props once again to OhTara). He's sitting in a chair reading and sniffling: "Hey there, Joanie. You got a Kleenex?" Dude, what's with all the product placements? Band-Aid, Netflix, Kleenex. It's like American Idol over here. Okay, it's totally not, but I'm a little bored and I felt like going off about something. ["I'm bored too -- not by Deborah, obviously, but this episode, zzz -- so I'll remark that I don't know if Band-Aids and Kleenex count as product placements anymore. What's that word for when a brand-name item becomes the default name for that item -- like, that Kleenex are actually 'Kleenex™ facial tissues,' but nobody calls facial tissues anything but 'Kleenex,' even when they're Marcal or another brand? There's a term for this. Email me if you know it, it's driving me crazy." -- Sars] GodFella says Sidney Carton is about to be executed and it's so unfair: "But he displays such courage." Joan sits down, asking how he's going to die: "[Did] God shove eggs into his hands, too?" GodFella replies, "You suffered an injustice. It happens every day, all over the world." You know, I can take that blasé attitude from almost anyone, except the one being who has ultimate power to do anything and everything about injustice. He continues, "Now you can let it crush you, or you can rise above it. And who knows what could happen?" He asks if she remembers reading A Tale of Two Cities. Joan pronounces it a "ninth-grade snorefest." GodFella: "Come on! The ending! Carton stands before the guillotine, ready to sacrifice his life to save others, looks at the crowd screaming for his blood, and says, 'Tis a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done.'" GodFella's all worked up, and Joan offers him a facial tissue. ["Heh. I sit corrected." -- Sars] He takes, like, three, and says it gets to him every time. You know, if GodFella's going to get all worked up over a book, maybe it would be an idea to read it a little more carefully. I've never read this book, but according to three of my posters, Sidney Carton doesn't actually say this; he thinks about what he would say, if asked: "If he had given an utterance to his [thoughts], and they were prophetic, they would have been these…" I hereby give GodFella a D in Reading Comprehension. Can't wait for Parent-Teacher night. That should be…weird. Joan wants to know: "So, uh, what are they gonna do, write a book about me doing community service…or I get my head lopped off?" GodFella assures her, "Things are already happening, Joan." Joan: "What?" He tells her, "Just accept the sacrifice. And, uh…gift-wrap this for me, would you?" Frink: "Wonder what it says on God's credit card?" Me: "God Doe? God Q. Public?" And who's the lucky being who gets a gift-wrapped copy of Dickens from God? Whoever it is, I'll wager he or she writes a damn thank-you note. I can't believe how many people don't write notes of thanks. What the hell is wrong with people? I notice they don't have any trouble getting their lazy asses everywhere from Target to Williams-Sonoma to register for five hundred wedding presents, but somehow they've always got an excuse for why they haven't written to thank people. Frankly, I don't believe people can call themselves civilized in the absence of two things: 1) diligently writing thank-you notes; and 2) using cloth napkins. I'm just saying.