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While everyone waits for the rain to stop, Hawkins suits up and gets a mysterious drum of mysteriousness from a storage facility, which he hauls back to his house and hides. Sternly finally turns up. And he might have radiation sickness, but then it turns out he doesn't. In other chain-yanking news, Dad has the flu, and there wasn't any fallout after all, so everyone's fine. Well, everyone except this one guy who flips out in the mine and then dies offscreen. After everyone else is unearthed, Heather gets all Nancy Drew about that, and it turns out that rather than cause a panic, Shep let the guy die. But he feels really bad about it. At the bar, they manage briefly to pick up a signal of a Chinese broadcast that gives them a vague idea of how much of the country went boom. Emily finishes freaking out about killing someone, and started freaking out because her fiancé must be dead. Jake decides that they need to send out search parties to find out what's going on. Everyone heads out, and pretty soon Jake comes across two airplanes that tried to land on the highway. One appears to have been successful. So Jake retrieves the black box, carts it back to Jericho, lets everyone listen to the plane crash, and even manages to isolate a bit of background chatter that establishes that Emily's fiancé's plane landed safely. You might wonder where Jake learned how to do all that, but I'm sure it'll turn out that he knew a guy. Jericho has a jolly block party with the last of Gracie's food, while Dale wanders off and finds the train with Gracie's shipment. If he's smart, he won't give any of it to Skylar. Oh yeah, and there's this scene where Gary bitches out Dad for not keeping the shelters maintained, so Dad sucker-punches Gary and tells him to shut up because they're under attack and this is no time to upset everyone by second-guessing authority figures. In the context of the show, it sounds quite reasonable, and we come away thinking, "Yeah, go Dad!" Which means that in the context of our reality, which I assume is the same one that the writers inhabit, it's pretty fucking vile. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously...wow, they seem determined to include every plot point from the past two episodes in this clip show. I think they're trying to make it look more exciting than it is, since the shootings and explosions are prominently featured. So, previously: stuff blew up and everyone was ridiculous.
We open with shots of Hawkins putting on protective gear. He duct tapes it tight around his wrists and ankles and slips on a respirator. Then "18 hours after the bombs" fills the screen. Well, that settles that question. Those of you working on "maybe it was killer bees" scenarios will have to decide if you dare defy the all-knowing, all-seeing caption.
It's still raining as Hawkins parks a product-placed U-Haul truck and opens the back. He seems to have arrived at a self-storage facility of some kind. He unlocks a unit, looks around suspiciously, and then enters and pulls the door closed.
Casa Richmond's storm cellar. Emily is huddled up to the preserves. Jake loudly tells one of the rescued cops, "She's still not talking." The cop wonderingly says that even he's never killed anyone, so he can't imagine how upset Emily must be. Emily rubs her head and decides against pointing out that she's not the deaf one. Bonnie wonders where Stanley is. Jake confidently says, "When the rain stops, he'll be back. Don't worry." Bonnie turns her back on him in a huff, and then there's some obvious looping as Jake adds, "I know Stanley, he'll be fine." Emily rubs her head some more and decides against pointing out that Bonnie is the deaf one. The other cop announces that he's finally reached Eric on the radio.
Town hall shelter. Eric tells Jake that they found Dad. Jake reminds Eric that as soon as the rain stops, they have to go dig out the mine: "I'm more worried the explosion might have put some debris into the ventilator." It's nice that the possibility occurred to him afterward. Eric says that they haven't been able to contact anyone at the mine.
In the spacious mine, Heather is distributing bottled water. She goes to check on a bearded, bald chap who turns out to be another teacher named Scott Rennie. He's a little tense, and says that he's having trouble breathing. Heather advises him to have some water. Scott takes a sip, and as a result feels good enough to look around in mild panic and wail, "I can't do this! Gotta get outside!"
The Richmond cellar is quite homey. It looks like there are paintings hanging on the wall. In a storm cellar. Jake pulls up a chair to Emily and the preserves and asks, "You doin' all right?" Emily barely looks at him, and he follows that up with "Stupid question?" Emily finally breaks her silence to ask how they know the rain is radioactive. Jake says, "Well, we don't know how many bombs there were, we don't know..." If Jake lists all of the things they don't know, this show could run longer than Gunsmoke did. But Jake's list is cut off when they hear noises in the house above them. Sadly, it doesn't sound like the shuffling steps of a mass of zombies. Or the boings of Chinese hopping zombies, even. Everyone stares upward, and the cops pull out what I'll assume are Jake and Emily's guns. The cellar doors open. Emily moans, "Not more prisoners..." The music gets tense. And then Stanley descends the stairs, drenched. Duh. Bonnie starts to rush toward her brother, but Jake yanks her back and warns Stanley not to get icky fallout all over her.
At the storage facility, Hawkins opens up a case of guns for our viewing pleasure, before wheeling a big drum out to the truck. The space also appears to contain boxes of lanterns and other supplies. And also some folding lawn chairs. Okay, they might be cots, I guess, but I prefer to believe it's lawn furniture. I tell you, he's prepared for anything! With the drum in the truck, Hawkins drives away. So, did he steal that U-Haul truck? Because I'm guessing he didn't rent it today. If you make a reservation with U-Haul and then, when you go to pick it up, they say they don't have any trucks available, it's because of jerks like Hawkins.
Richmond cellar. Jake confers with April on the radio, explaining that Stanley was in the rain for about twenty minutes. Stanley, now wrapped in a blanket, explains that he was helping his cousin to get the livestock indoors. April confirms that Stanley isn't puking, presumably because he hasn't read the whole script yet, and then asks, "Do you have any iodine?" Jake checks with Bonnie, who opens a medicine cabinet on the wall. Of the storm cellar. Stanley interrupts to ask, "What's with all the tanks?" He says that when he was coming back, he saw five tanks on the road, headed for Denver. And he can't figure out why. Every week I think I understand how dumb these people are, they manage to surprise me. I mean, mentioning it: good. Wondering why on earth there might be tanks headed in the direction of the mushroom cloud you saw yesterday: moronic. It's interesting that Stanley doesn't inquire about the two corpses in police uniforms who are lying in front of his house. Maybe because they aren't there anymore. Because the radioactive rain brought them back to life! Please, oh please. Bonnie tosses a bottle of iodine to Jake. April says that Stanley should take a few tablespoons, but that he'll need to eat something with it because it tastes gross. Jake says, "All we've got is canned peaches, and pickles." April says, "Not the pickles!," because I guess she knows they'll want those for their burgers later on. Stanley's bored with the conversation and tells Jake to toss him the iodine. He gulps it down while April tells Jake that, when the rain stops, they need to hustle Stanley over to the clinic. She adds that if Stanley throws up, they should get Bonnie out of the room. I don't know where exactly she thinks they're going to take Bonnie if it's still raining then. Maybe Jake can pull out some more dynamite and blow a hole up into the house. Jake asks why they should move Bonnie, and April explains, "Because her brother's going to die." Stanley looks up at Jake like, "Your sister-in-law's got quite the bedside manner."
Credit. Given the medicine cabinet and the fact that it's liquid, it would seem that Stanley drank tincture of iodine. Like you put on cuts. It's poisonous. If you drink a bottle of it, you'll get a lot sicker than Stanley gets. And then you'll probably die. I don't think April's a very good doctor.
Back in the mine, Scott is yelping, "I gotta get out of here!" Heather tries to calm him down by suggesting that he concentrate on his breathing. Scott takes a few deep breaths, and then shouts, "I gotta get out of here!" with renewed vigor. Heather tells him to use his diaphragm more, so that he can really project. Gary shoves people aside as he bustles over to insist that everything's fine, and warns Scott that he's scaring the kids. Shep joins the party, getting in Scott's face and telling him to focus. Scott focuses, and shrieks that he can't breathe. Shep and Gary haul Scott off to another section of the mine with better acoustics, so that the echoes of his terrified squawks will soothe him.
Town hall shelter. Dad's coughing on his cot, and everyone around is just like, "Great, now we have to worry about bird flu." Dad probably caught it from Emily. April says that Jake wants to chat, and hands over the radio with a curt "Make it brief." Dad tries to sound hale and hearty as Jake mentions the tanks Stanley saw. Dad guesses it was a National Guard unit from nearby: "Maybe they've got a relief effort going." Jake thinks they should go find out what's going on. Dad's not so keen on that, but he's busy stifling his coughs, so when Jake says, "I'll go to Goodland; someone should check out Topeka," Dad agrees.
Richmond cellar. Emily insists that she's going along on Jake's recon mission. She says that Goodland's on the way to Wichita, and she wants to go find Roger. Jake starts to argue, but Emily says, "I'm going with you, or I'm going by myself." Stanley wonders if his last moments alive will be spent listening to Emily whine.
Town hall shelter. Eric spots the Auditor about to light a cigarette, and snaps, "For the last time, you can't smoke in here." The town may be coated in fallout, and he's worried about secondhand smoke. Are these people from Kansas or California? The Auditor shoots him an evil look, because we might not yet be clear on the fact that the sarcastic, cigarette-smoking, IRS agent from DC isn't such nice person. I can't wait till she shows off her dalmation-hide coat.
Eric joins Mom and Dad, just as April turns up to take Dad's temperature. He grouses, and Eric smirks, "The mighty Johnston Green, felled by the flu." He tells April that Dad is supposed to be "impervious to germs." Dad gives Mom a sidelong glance and sighs, "I believe that was the quote." He says it was a joke, and warns April, "Don't ever make a mistake; this family will never let you forget it." Everyone chuckles heartwarmingly. Across the room, Mary sheds a bitter tear that she doesn't get to take part in the good-natured joshing. She makes her way over to the Auditor, who's still glaring at Eric as she harrumphs, "I don't like him." Mary says, "Me neither."
Skylar's house. Dale examines a Niagara Falls snowglobe with a ship in it. Surrender to destiny! Skylar wanders in and offers Dale a cracker. Or is it hardtack? Hey, with the boat and the crackers, maybe her parents are pirates. Dale, check the house for parrots. They eat their crackers and listen to the strumming guitar on the soundtrack.
Time for a reflective moment at the shelter. Mom sits with Dad and reminisces about the "duck and cover" drills she used to do in school. She says that when she saw the mushroom cloud, the first thing she wondered was, "Did they have enough time to hide under their desks?" She adds, "That's pretty stupid, huh?" Dad holds her hand comfortingly and thinks, "Yes. Yes it is."
Mary decides that she should have a private conversation with Eric while they're standing in a packed room with people not three feet away. She brightly observes, "Your wife isn't really acting like someone who knows the marriage has been dead a long time." Eric uncomfortably suggests that right now they should all concentrate on getting through the day. Mary chirps, "thing you're gonna tell me is that she actually does understand you." Eric says he's sorry, and walks away.
Richmond cellar. Stanley calls Jake over, warning him to make sure Bonnie can't read his lips. Then he starts to make custody arrangements, saying, "The thing is, Bonnie's still just a kid, so --" Jake cuts him off, and I hope the rest of that sentence was, "-- if I die, can you take her over to my cousin's place? Thanks." Anyway, Jake insists that everything will be fine, like he does whenever he's not warning people that they're about to die. Stanley tells Jake that he feels like throwing up. Luckily, everyone is distracted as the pounding rain stops. Jake calls Eric to tell him that it's time to go rescue everyone from his rescue effort.
We pan over the wet streets of Jericho, which are now bathed in sunlight under a clear blue sky. Eric steps out of the town hall, holding a geiger counter and covering his mouth with his shirt. The geiger counter barely ticks, and Eric lowers his shirt with relief. He's soon followed by everyone from the shelter, and everyone starts strolling home. The Auditor rests her hand on a pillar by the steps, and then realizes that her hand's covered with muck. She shows her hand to Mary and casually asks, "What's this black stuff?" Mary says, "That used to be Denver," and walks away.
Richmond cellar. Jake tells Emily and one of the cops to take Stanley to the clinic. He tells the other cop, Jimmy, that they'll go to the mine. Emily's all like, yeah yeah, I know there's these people who might be dying of radiation or suffocation even as we speak, but don't forget that I wanna go to Wichita! Jake says he'll meet her at the clinic later on, which at least shuts her up.
At the mine, everyone stirs about as the sound of a jackhammer is audible outside. They all hustle over to the caved-in wall of boulders and chirp excitedly. The jackhammer gets louder, and then, I shit you not, someone shouts, "I think someone's on the other side!" I'm starting to think that the writers believe the audience needs these explanations. Which suggests they don't have a very high opinion of us. Everyone presses even closer to the shifting pile of boulders, and then a fireman crawls out through a small opening in the rocks. Everyone cheers and the piano starts plinking to let us know that this is another heartwarming moment. Eric climbs through after the fireman, followed by Jake. Jake quickly announces that there's food outside, along with transport to the clinic, and start directing them to file out. Jake makes his way back to Heather, and starts to explain that since she can't climb over that pile of rocks with her leg immobilized in a cast, they're going to have to put her down. No hard feelings! Their reunion is interrupted when Gary and Shep haul out Scott. Who's much less shouty now, because he's dead. I love that the people who were desperate to make sure that Scott didn't panic anyone are now in a huge rush to haul his lifeless body out past his former students. Oh, but we do get another shot of the tunnel, which is now more like a window. So I guess Heather will keep being plucky for a little while longer.
Clinic. Jake bustles over to April and asks how Stanley's doing. She says that he's isolated, and points Jake down the hall.
Jake enters a brightly colored room full of stuffed animals. There's also an aquarium with a fish swimming around inside. Thank goodness that, with everything else going on, someone's taking time to feed the fish. Stanley's waiting there with Bonnie. He's in a wheelchair, wearing a hospital gown and robe. He tells Jake that this is where they put kids with chicken pox. Jake asks whether Stanley puked. Stanley casually says, "Yeah, a couple times." After a beat, he adds, "Apparently that's what happens if you drink a bottle of iodine." Jake gives him a look like, "Oh, you crazy kidder!" Then Stanley starts grousing that needs to get back to the ranch so he can check on the livestock. And the corn. Seriously, he says he needs to check on the corn. I do understand that farming isn't just a matter of twiddling one's thumbs, but I'm pretty sure that you can leave a field untended for twelve hours without a disaster. ["Not if there's a threat of radioactive moles!" -- Wing Chun] Jake and Bonnie tell Stanley that he'll have to stay put a while longer. Stanley grouses about being poked with needles, and concludes, "You'll be sorry when my spider-powers kick in." Heh. Jake leans down, takes Stanley's face in his hands, and you think that maybe we're about to find out why Jake left town, and why Emily and Dad are so grumpy with him. But instead of planting one on Stanley, Jake just says, "Well, you're still an idiot, so that's a good sign." Yes, that means he won't have to leave town for violating their IQ ordinance.
April is bustling around while humoring the now-panicked Auditor. Oh my God, would someone give this woman a name already? The Auditor thinks that dipping her hand in Denver has given her radiation poisoning. April says that she's sleep-deprived, and asks, "Have you vomited?" The Auditor says, "No. Should I?" Heh. April tells her to go home and rest. The Auditor whines, "I'd like to! When's the flight to DC?" Heather hobbles up and asks April what happened to Scott. April says, "It looks like he had a heart attack." Gary lurks gloomily around the corner as April bustles away.
Skylar and Dale are playing poker with what looks like Reese's Pieces as chips. C'mon, Skylar, break out the doubloons. She asks, "So, what if I have three queens but I only have two jacks?" Dale folds, and Skylar gloats about her amazing bluffing skills. Dale wonders again why he wanted to save her life. Then the front door opens, and the Cool Kids arrive to check on Skylar. And, it sounds like, mooch her food. Upon seeing Dale in the room, they freeze in amazement, and Skylar quickly insists, "This is not how it looks!" What? Is she having a torrid lesbian affair with the brunette chick? Because if not, who talks like that? The brunette says, "It sure looks how it looks." Someone, bring me a shotgun. Skylar slinks off in shame, and Dale prepares to reorganize his enemies list. As do I.
At the clinic, Dad's grumpily insisting, "We gotta find the Sheriff and his men, we gotta get the power back on..." Wuh? Didn't Jake mention the whole hostage-taking convict thing? If he did, there's only one man missing besides the sheriff. And we know they're both dead. Did the convicts hide the bodies? That was thorough of them. Or have the sheriff and the dead cop joined the legion of walking dead who are even now preparing to devour the townsfolk, only to be fought off in an epic battle when Skylar's parents arrive with their pirate brigade?! And then the ninjas will descend from the skies! Whee! Er, sorry. Mom tells Dad that he's staying put, and threatens, "Don't make me take your pants with me." Dad dryly says, "I can run this town without my pants," and Mom says that it wouldn't be the first time. Jake strolls in saying, "That's a story I never want to hear." That may be the smartest thing Jake has ever, and likely will ever, say. Mom explains that Dad's got the flu, and Jake mentions Scott's death, killing the jolly mood. Jake adds, "I've been thinking," and I brace for impact. He goes on: "More than anything, this town needs information," although he leaves out the line we heard in the previews last week about how they need information even more than food. But I suppose food is covered under "anything," so: still wrong. Jake proposes sending people out in every direction. Mom doesn't like the idea, but Dad agrees that they're vulnerable if they don't know what's happening.
The bar, now identified as Bailey's Tavern. I'm so glad Mary is still using her generator and precious fuel oil to make sure the lights and the TV in the bar stay on. At the pool table, Jake is going over a map with some random yahoos. I don't know why they went to the bar to do this, instead of convening at the town hall. Jake tells two guys that they'll head north, "up to the state police barracks in Broken Bow." Gary says that he'll go east, toward Topeka, and some guy named Ridley will head for Denver. Jake tells Ridley that he'll probably run into FEMA. Jake's a funny guy. Emily sidles up to announce that she and Jake will head for Wichita, because it's been ten minutes since she's mentioned that. Jake sums things up by explaining that they're going to hit "the major cities in each direction: north, south, east, and west." Thanks for specifying. Gary sighs, "The four horsemen of the apocalypse," and over at the bar Mary gets a glass, because by providing the title, Gary just won a beer. Yay, Gary. We'll overlook the fact that it should be "the six drivers and passengers of the apocalypse." It's not as catchy.
On the bar's roof, a couple of guys are yanking a satellite dish around while Mary offers helpful comments like "Try pointing it east!" over the radio.
Inside, the TV just shows static. Eric walks up to the bar, and Mary pointedly ignores him. Then Hawkins joins Eric at the bar and observes, "Busy place." Eric snits, "The service isn't what it used to be." Well, there is a second bartender back there; maybe you should try him. Mary grudgingly prepares to take their orders, but then there's a brief image on the TV. Everyone in the bar gathers around as we see flickers of a Chinese news broadcast. Someone in the bar shouts, "Keep it on!" Oh, I don't know, there might be something better on. Over the reporter's shoulder is a map of the U.S., with a number of ominous red dots scattered over it. Everyone gets to look at it just long enough to start gasping, and then there's static again. It finally occurs to Mary to call the guys on the roof, but the signal's gone. So, to me it looks like the cities that were hit are: Seattle, Chicago, Atlanta, Dallas, Denver, San Francisco, and...well, there's one that looks more like New York City than Philadelphia, and another that looks more like Los Angeles than San Diego. This doesn't entirely correspond with the list Hawkins had. So now you can decide who's got more reliable information, Hawkins or the Chinese. But remember, the Chinese weren't cops in St. Louis!
When we return, Eric is shouting, "Was that Korean? Does anybody know?" Jake says that it was Chinese, and Hawkins adds, "Mandarin" before Eric can ask "But which dialect, man? I must know!" Jake says, "The question is, are they just reporting it or are they behind it?" Eric asks whether there were any markings on the tanks Stanley saw, and worries that the country's been invaded. Because you can bet that, in the event of an invasion, the first thing our would-be conquerers would do is send a handful of tanks to Kansas. Gary announces that the guys who were supposed to go north have chickened out because "they won't drive into a war zone." Eric suggests waiting to see if they get any other news from the TV, or maybe even the winning lottery numbers, but Jake's adamant that they need to find out if they're at war.
Over at the bar, Heather's picking everyone's brains. Or whatever they call the lumps of goo in their skulls. She's marking a map that she just happens to have with the cities that went boom. So far she's got Seattle, Los Angeles, and Philadelphia. Mary doesn't think Seattle was hit, and Heather wonders if maybe it was Portland. Hawkins sidles up to the pool-table gang and offers to replace one of the drivers. Jake confirms that Hawkins has kids, and strikes him from the volunteer list. Then Jake checks his watch and realizes that it's well past time for Emily to have a hissyfit about something. He looks over just in time to see her wander off in a daze.
Heather takes a break from map-marking to chat with Shep. She brings up Scott's death and says, "The mine was full of people from the clinic -- how come nobody called for a doctor?" Shep says that he doesn't wanna talk about it. Heather does, though, and says that Scott was her friend. Gary wanders up and asks Shep to help him load the cars with supplies. Shep gives Heather a little glare and leaves, and then Gary menacingly tells Heather, "He lost a good friend today. We all did."
Emily's sitting in a car. Is that her car? How'd she get it back? I guess I'll just assume that she sat down in a random unlocked car, although that seems like an odd thing to do. But this is Emily, so anything's possible. Jake climbs into the passenger seat and asks her to talk to him: "Is it the broadcast? 'Cause we don't know what any of it means." Emily sniffles, "They got Wichita." She insists that she saw it marked on the map. It wasn't. I'm okay with them using the fact that people are tremendously unreliable witnesses, but dude, the states were outlined, and Kansas didn't have any red dots of doom. Anyway, Jake insists that Roger could have survived, and suggests that the flight could have been diverted to Des Moines. Emily bursts into tears, because oh my God, can you imagine being stranded in Des Moines? Better Roger should be an irradiated zombie! But I kid Iowa. Actually, Emily just sobs, "Des Moines is gone!," and gets out of the car. Does she teach Geography? Jake chases after Emily, offering more half-assed theories about how the plane might have set down in a cornfield somewhere. Emily commences to lose her shit, and tells Jake, "He's gone, and I'm here with you! You were supposed to be the one that was dead! Not him." Ha ha ha! She stomps off, and Jake looks indignant, with some justification.
Dale returns to Grace's store, where the shelves are almost empty except for what looks like toilet cleaner and bleach. He finds Gracie unhappily clearing out the rubble, and sighs, "They took everything." Gracie gives Dale a hug and says that she looked all over for him. Then Mom strolls in with a box of stuff. Gracie grumbles, "What now?" Heh. Gracie tells Mom that the store's closed. Mom explains that she's bringing back some of the food from the shelter. Gracie says she's out of business, and adds, "My train shipment was supposed to come through on Tuesday." She adds that the freezer's gone, so all the meat is going to go bad. If only there were someone in town with a generator. After a moment, Mom suggests cooking everything while it's still good.
Stanley, finally dressed again, passes an exam room and notices the Auditor sniffling inside. He starts to move on, but finally turns back as she loudly blows her nose. He asks if she's okay, and she whines about radiation poisoning: "I touched a building when we came out of the shelter." I have no clue why she, or Stanley, or April, think this is something to be concerned about after they've established that there was no fallout in the rain. The Auditor points out that she audited his farm, and asks why he would care about her. Stanley says, "Maybe I'm a nicer person than you [are]." She asks whether he got caught in the rain, and when Stanley says that he did, she says that he looks pretty good. Stanley examines his arms and says, "Thanks -- I try to work out." I'm not sure if I genuinely like Stanley, or if I'm just less sick of him since he wasn't in last week's episode. The Auditor laughs, and Stanley finally mentions that, since he's okay, she probably is, too. She tells him that he's sweet, and abruptly adds, "You still owe the IRS $180,000." Stanley says, "Yeah, I know," and gives her a really funny squinty look, which I choose to interpret as "If this show is considered passable entertainment by eleven million people, maybe we all deserve to die." Exit Stanley.
Bailey's Tavern. Oh my gosh, there's a woman crying! How strange. She's acting like something upsetting has happened recently. I wonder what that's about. Everyone else is chatting and drinking as usual, so she's probably nuts or something. As she's escorted out, we focus in on Shep, who's sitting in a booth, writing a letter.
Town hall. Gary is collecting radios and supplies for their recon. Dad takes Gary aside, and also calls him "Gray." Holy crap, Gary's name's actually Gray. Oops. This is what happens when nobody ever says anyone else's name! And apparently I have digital dyslexia. But the important thing is that nobody noticed, so I don't feel quite so bad. Sorry...um, Gray. Anyway, Dad tells Gray that the scouting mission is "a gutsy move," and I crack up. It just makes me think of "Use your guts! That's what they're for!" from SeaQuest DSV, which always managed to have one skull-crushing line per episode. Actually, what this show needs is Michael Ironside. Has my free-associating distracted you from that Gary/Gray thing yet? Excellent. Anyway, Dad boggles at the fact that good ol' Scott Rennie is dead. Gray announces, "It wasn't a heart attack that killed him." Dad's confused, and then Gray adds, "It was poor planning." Gray starts huffing that it wouldn't have happened if the shelter had been maintained, and sneers, "I get back here, there's gonna be an investigation." As onlookers...look on, Dad suggests that they continue this conversation in private. Gray declaims, "You dropped the ball, and it killed Scott Rennie!" Dad testily tells Gray to join him in the office.
Gray enters the office. Dad shuts the door, and immediately socks Gray in the gut. As Gray recoils, Dad gets his Hearst on and hauls Gray up by his collar, explaining, "These people need our leadership. I will not have you tearing this town apart. Now, when all this is over, if you and I are still alive, you investigate your ass off! In the meantime, if I hear any more talk like that outta you, you and I are gonna have a problem." Dad releases Gray, who picks himself up and leaves. Then Dad shuts the door again, and leans over the desk to wheeze weakly.
I just...don't know. If they're trying to portray shades of gray ["ha!" -- Wing Chun], and show how flawed leaders sometimes make bad decisions with the best of intentions, they should maybe study how that's done. You don't do it by showing us that Dad is gruff but lovable, and plus he's not feeling so good. Or by giving Gray as Dad's alternative, when we know that Gray has his own agenda and that he's probably hiding his own guilt for Scott's death. You don't do it with this ridiculous threat of an investigation, as if any reasonable person would expect a small town in Kansas to spend a whole lot of energy on preparations for a widespread nuclear disaster. To be fair, I don't know why Dad thinks that Gray's going to "tear the town apart" by bitching at him in front of half a dozen people. These people wouldn't get upset if there were a rain of toads, so I can't see how Gray's grousing is going to alarm anyone. And you know, I honestly can't figure out if they think they're being complex here, or if they don't even care how any of this plays. I'm not sure which is more depressing, either. Moral complexity makes for interesting drama. But knocking one straw man into another doesn't.
Well, that was fun. The four carloads of WTF are getting ready to go exploring. Cue the hugging. Mom asks Jake where Emily is, and Jake says that Emily won't be going along. "Good," says Mom, channeling the audience. Further down the street, Gray is surprised to see Shep headed for a car instead of Ridley. Shep says that he's going toward Denver. Gray asks, "What about your family?" Shep says that he's got to get out of there. Gray insists, "You'll get past this." Shep harrumphs, and gets into the car.
Heather limps into the bar, and Mary hands her a letter from Shep. As Heather starts to read, Shep voice-overs, "I want you to know the truth about Scott Rennie." He explains that Gray wanted him to keep Scott quiet. Then Scott's heart "went out." Shep was too scared to call for a doctor. He says, "I let him die. I'll never forgive myself," and concludes by saying that Heather was a better friend to Scott than he was. Whatever.
Town hall. A cop declares that the scouts should be fifty miles away by now. Eric tries, and fails, to raise Jake on the radio. , he tries for Shep. Through the whistles of the radio, we hear Shep ask, "Do me a favor?" Eric asks him to repeat his message, and Shep says, "Tell the family I'm sorry." Eric says that he didn't get that, but I think maybe he's just trying to torture Shep. Eric asks whether Gray understood the message, and Gray lies that he didn't.
Jake drives around a bend in the road and pulls to a stop so that he can make his astonished face. Then he gets out and walks in front of the SUV, and the music gets all swirly so that we know that this show is about to Blow Our Minds! We finally reverse, and see a small jet neatly parked on the highway with its evacuation slides deployed. Behind it is another jet, which landed a little less neatly. In the sense that it's a smoldering wreck.
It's nighttime in Jericho, and everyone's joining the big ol' cookout on Main Street. They've even got those plaid tablecloths spread out. Awesome. Mom pauses in her corn-shucking duties long enough to smirk as she sees that Jake has returned.
Jake leads a small group into the town hall. Eric grumps, "You should be in Wichita by now!" Jake explains, "Smoky Hill bridge is blocked." Okay, the jet was parked on what looked like a short overpass. If that was the bridge he's talking about, he stopped his car right by a T-intersection. Is that bridge seriously supposed to be the only road he could take to Wichita? I think maybe Jake's a slacker. Jake opens his duffel bag to reveal a bright red box marked with bold lettering that reads, "Flight recorder." Eric asks, "What is that?" It's a jukebox, Eric. The unnamed cop duhs, "I thought they were supposed to be black." Jake explains about the planes as he bustles about, and says that he could only get one recorder. Mom asks if there were any survivors, and Jake says that a 757 landed okay, and a commuter plane didn't. Mom wonders where the passengers went, and Jake gives her a look like, "They're in the bellies of the zombie army now, Mom!" Well, that's how I interpreted it. Then Jake asks the cop if he's got a reel-to-reel recorder, and naturally he does, so the cop hurries to get it while Mom fetches Dad.
Cut to Jake listening to the recording on headphones as a ton of people, including Emily, stand around fretfully. Dad arrives, and Jake offers to play the last thirty seconds of the recording. Before he can press "Play," Dad suggests ordering the kids out of the room first. The kids are hustled out, and Dad nods to Jake. So. There are pilots calling in to each other. One reports that they're out of fuel. Another mentions seeing a mushroom cloud over Denver. A third says that there are also mushroom clouds over Kansas City and somewhere in Texas. See, you can't trust the Chinese. The chatter continues, and Hawkins translates, "They're saying there's no traffic control. That's ten thousand planes with no place to land. That's about a million people in the air." On the recording, there's a swoosh, and a pilot says that some F-16s just passed him. Then two planes get ready to land on a stretch of highway. A pilot shouts "Pull up!" a few times, and then there's a crash. Cringing all around. Jake rewinds the tape, and starts getting all DJ Mixmaster as he replays a short section repeatedly. He flips some switches to isolate a voice in the background. Johanna demands to know how the hell Jake learned how to isolate background noise on a reel-to-reel. I explain that I was wrong about him being in prison; he was actually in the circus. Which doesn't actually explain anything, but at this point I'm embracing the stupidity. Jake calls Emily over and asks, "Roger was on Trans-Shore 724, right?" Ha ha ha ha! Awesome. Even Emily's Post-It didn't have the flight number. But she says that's correct, of course. Jake flips some more switches and replays the tape until we hear a voice say, "This is Trans-Shore 724, we've set down in a field. GPS malfunction. Think we're north of Kansas, with minor injuries." Mom hugs Emily as Jake soothes, "He's alive."
Hawkins homestead. Darcy enters the basement, where Hawkins is mixing up some cement. She says that she hears music outside, and adds, "Sounded like Sam Cooke, but there's a chance it could be Kenny Rogers." Hawkins laughs. So do I. I'm not made of stone, people. Darcy says that the kids want to join the party, but Hawkins insists, "We're not ready." He vetoes any socializing, and Darcy grumps her way back upstairs.
Bouncy music, which is neither Sam Cooke nor Kenny Rogers, plays. In fact, it's Keith Urban. Everyone's having a fine old time at the Jericho cookout. Once again, I don't know what to say. I understand life goes on and everything, but dude. It's been one day. These people are laughing and beaming. All the available evidence suggests that tens of millions of people died yesterday. Most likely, everyone in town has friends and relatives who they believe to be dead now. I'm kind of appalled, and I'm (a) callous, and (b) talking about imaginary deaths. Maybe the thing with Jericho isn't that they're all morons. Maybe they're all sociopaths. For instance, there's Skylar, grinning and happily playing cards with her ridiculous friends, and she thinks her parents are dead. My head hurts. Dale edges past the cool kids and joins Gracie at one of the grills. Gracie grumbles, "I'm glad there was enough food for everyone, but I just wish someone would have [sic] said 'thank you.'" The Auditor looks over at Stanley, who waves his burger at her. Eric sits down to eat with April, while looking over at Mary speculatively. Mary makes a big show of flirting with a random dude. Jake brings Heather a plate. Heather looks over at Emily and says, "She looks so much better." Jake explains that Emily will be losing her mind about something else in another twelve hours. He says, "I owed her." Heather perkily says, "I'm sure this makes you even." Jake says, "Not even close." I guess Emily got him the job at the circus, or paid his way through remixing school, or something. Dad looks around and tells Mom, "It might be a long time before we see Jericho like this again." Oh, come on. These people will laugh off the Bubonic Plague if you gave them some sparklers and gum.
The happy, happy music fades out finally, and we cut to the Hawkins homestead. Hawkins starts building a wall out of cement blocks to hide his drum of eviltude. Okay, that's it: Hawkins works for the Beyond Corporation. (And bless those of you who get that. All five you of you.)
We pan over Main Street, which is deserted now that the barbecue has ended.
And then we cut to a bed. Eric sits up, waking Mary, who asks what time it is. He says that it's a little past midnight. She asks if he has to go. He says he does, and of course then they start round two.
Dale crosses a railway bridge, giving me Twin Peaks flashbacks. Johanna and I start discussing the possibility that Dale is a crazed serial killer. And that if he is, he's still the most likable character. Dale encounters a train. It appears to have stopped after smashing up a car. I tell Johanna that the inexplicable accidents remind me of "Hush," and she points out that she made the same observation last week. I tell her we're both right, cleverly ignoring her larger point. Then she's distracted because Third Eye Blind are singing about narcolepsy. Dale climbs up onto the train, but there's no one at the helm. Because train engines don't have "helms." Good effort, Third Eye Blind. Dale moves along and opens one of the cars. It's jam-packed with broccoli florets. Ew. Okay, and Dinty Moore cans, and "Uncle Sam Cereal." Right. Dale smirks, because with this cache, he's can pretty much buy and sell Jericho. That bitch Skylar will pay!
Tune in time, when you'll hear a zombie say, "They're coming." I hope they come fast.