By Sara M
Taub and Foreman head down to scare Della to death, with Foreman muttering about how this is a very extreme way to prove a diagnosis and Taub griping about how it's not as crazy as House sleeping with Cuddy. No, actually, I think trying to kill a patient is crazier. Sorry, Taub, but you're wrong. Taub says he's so against House and Cuddy because there's no way it will work and then House will be worse to them than ever. With that, he gets all creative and decides to shove some fireworks under a food tray and wheel it into Della's room. If you're going to kill someone by scaring them, you might as well go all-out.
House heads for Wilson's office, determined to make him believe that he's dating Cuddy. He doesn't get far before Cuddy walks in, saying "you told everybody, didn't you?" What? How does she know? Taub probably told on him. She's there to collect House for their HR appointment. House uses this as proof that they're in a relationship, but Wilson still isn't buying it, pointing out that House has to go to HR all the time for his various acts of inappropriate assholishness about the hospital. House leans in to kiss Cuddy, who pulls back and puts a hand up. Wilson is not convinced. "One peck, just enough to arouse him a little," House asks. Wilson stammers something about how he is not turned on by House and Cuddy being together, but House says he was actually talking about his penis. Ultimately, Cuddy strikes a deal with House that if she confirms their relationship to Wilson, he'll come to HR with her. "It's true," she then tells Wilson. He's skeptical. She kisses House on the lips. "I've been more passionate with my great aunt," Wilson shrugs. How long has he known House and he still sets himself up like that? Idiot. "Great Aunt Mabel?? Up high!" House says, offering a hand for Wilson to high-five. Cuddy offers a hand, too, placing it directly on House's crotch. Wilson looks at the hand, and then Cuddy. Once his shock wears off, I'm sure it will turn into disappointment followed by jealousy. "Are we done here?" Cuddy asks. Wilson gives her a slight nod, and she removes the hand and leaves. "I think you straightened out my limp a little!" House calls after her, so very pleased with himself.
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