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Barbara Hall! I love to see her name come up, she's so great. Anyway, Saul brings back the pieces of Nick Brody and assembles them into a huge mess. With the clock ticking on Andrew Lockhart's confirmation, Dar Adal suggests giving Nick a banned psychedelic that will accelerate his heroin withdrawal, and after some nerve-wracking hallucinations -- including an extended sequence that rather pointedly parallels Brody's relationship with Nazir and Carrie's with Saul -- he's officially cold turkey and ready to be a person.
While in her own hospital room, Carrie was visited by Senator Lockhart, who leaks the news about Saul's trip to Caracas, which leads Saul to send Virgil and Max to sweep all of their houses. They discover Alain's secret mouse-transmitter, and track him to a Mossad safehouse... As well as lunch with Lockhart, and once they bring Alain in, he cops to all of it. The combination of "Israeli intelligence" and "spying on the CIA Director" is enough to sink Lockhart permanently, but Saul says he'll sit on it if the Senator gives him enough time to put Brody through rehab and some training montages alongside a team of the most charming doctor-soldiers of all time. I wish they had their own show, where each week they take very good care of strange/horrible people and situations.
Then Phase Two of Saul's big plan is finally revealed: Play Brody into Iran as an asylum-seeking, terrorist war hero, getting him close enough for an assassination of a General that will move Javadi up the ladder from #20 in the political hierarchy to #3. Nick's reluctant -- suicidal, in fact -- so they send in Carrie for a terribly awkward and sad reunion. Once she shows him the motel where Dana's been living and working as a housekeeper, she's able to get him back in the game. Whatever messes he's left behind -- his family, that Imam's household in Caracas, the people that Tom killed the day of the suicide vest -- are still what haunts him, and Carrie knows what buttons to push.
By the time he leaves for Tehran -- after a horrific meeting with Dana that ends with everybody in tears -- he's more like the man we never got to meet, and even able to think about a future with Carrie again. I mean, we'll see about that. Although Scott Ryan outlines an ambitious extraction plan, and Carrie seems optimistic, both of those things are characteristic and not so much believable. She doesn't tell him about the baby -- oh, and she's smoking now! -- but does promise several times to see him on the other side.
So that's the situation, heading into this final act: Lockhart's at bay long enough to rehab Brody, push through to his original Marine conditioning, and get him to the Iranian border. Carrie getting vocal about the fact that she and Saul can't run this operation -- one of the most audacious ideas I can think of ever coming up, on a show like this -- without learning to trust each other again. The possibility of public redemption for everybody involved, from the big offenders like Nick to the career-enders like the Bear, to whatever the fuck the CIA is going to do with Carrie. With everyone either neutralized or folded into the Javadi plot at this point, it seems possible that the operation might take up the majority of the remaining three episodes. More Quinn for us all.
Week: A team of like twenty people is required to make sure Nick walks across the border without fucking it up. I'm guessing he fucks it up.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!PREVIOUSLY
Carrie thought the whole plan to return Javadi to Iran was interesting, but not as interesting as tracking down the Langley Bomber and clearing Nick Brody's name; Saul, secretly planning to do both, retrieved Brody from Caracas. Meanwhile, an obsessive Carrie tried to blow the entire season's operation in a single instant, forcing Quinn to shoot her in one of the show's most hilarious scenes to date. Oh, and it looks like Mira Berenson's side-piece is a spy, just like everybody else.
NAVAL HOSPITAL / DAM NECK
Carrie: "Sitrep."
Navy Doc: "You're awake, don't rip your sutures. The shot went straight through, missed the bones and nerves altogether. You are a lucky lady."
Carrie: "Lucky Quinn's such a great shot, you mean. Besides being perfect in every single other way."
Navy Doc: "Sit tight as long as you need."
Carrie: "You mean as long as the CIA needs."
Navy Doc: "I mean I don't give a shit. Spies are the worst. Oh, and your baby is fine. Or at least as fine as it possibly could be, given that your womb is a tequila-fueled dryer set to 'tumble,' every day of your life."
Also in a hospital bed, and if possible in worse shape, is the former Sergeant. He is surrounded by a group of hot docs who go everywhere with him and have beards and it's like, if Nick is Sleeping Beauty, they are the dwarves. Sexy, highly competent dwarves. The second he wakes up he starts screaming and almost being dead, and we learn that he got so freaky on the flight back to the States that some bright mister gave him a half-pint of vodka. But he doesn't want vodka, he wants heroin! To inject into all of his veins!
Grumpy: "Listen, seven days is not a long time."
Saul: "But it's 20 March, and Lockhart's getting confirmed in a week!"
Doc: "I admit, he presents a challenge. Due to having every problem, plus probably Hepatitis C, and also probably HIV. Literally everything bad, he has it going on."
Saul: "We're not taking him to a hospital."
Sneezy: "We can keep him stable, but... I mean, he's a junkie."
Saul: "What stage of withdrawal is this? This flopping around and screaming and trying to steal syringes even if they don't have heroin in them?"
Sleepy: "Um, like Day One. This is a hilarious birthday party with a pony, relatively. Can we give him methadone?"
Saul: "No, he needs to go cold turkey or else my insane plan won't work."
Bashful: "What if it kills him?"
Saul: "It won't!"
Dopey: "Due to his strength of spirit?"
Saul: "No, due to that is what dwarves are for. Now go do some pushups or something."
CARRIE
Lockhart: "What's up, girlfriend? What's crackalackin'?"
Carrie: "..."
Lockhart: "They say you'll be up and around soon! No headstands, though!"
Carrie: "..."
Lockhart: "And probably no leaving. Did you know you have armed guards?"
Carrie: "..."
Lockhart: "Spies are so fucking fucked up. No matter what they put you through, you always close ranks. You're a casualty of Agency gunfire, lying here basically a prisoner, and somehow I'm still the enemy?"
Carrie: "..."
Lockhart: "And PS, did you know the CIA charter doesn't include operations on US soil? I just learned that, like, today."
Carrie: "Honey I am so fucking high on painkillers right now you could tell me literally anything about yourself and I still wouldn't know who the fuck you are. Okay?"
Lockhart: "You're obviously lying, but fine. Listen, you need a friend."
Carrie: "I can't even spell what that word is you just said."
Lockhart: "Even if you have been brainwashed to the point of not holding Saul Berenson responsible for this, allow me to be angry on your behalf."
Carrie: "Ugh, you are so basic. You are two thousand and late."
Lockhart: "So tell me why he's in Caracas."
Carrie: "The fuck you say?"
Lockhart: "Sobered you up real fuckin' quick, huh?"
DAM NECK
Dar Adal: "Was that a Carrie voicemail? Was it totally chill and rational?"
Saul: "Of course! LOL. But apparently Lockhart just visited and told her about Caracas?"
Dar Adal: "That is literally impossible."
Saul: "So it is, Dar Adal. So it is. Can you get Virgil and Max to sweep our shit real fast?"
So they do that, and meanwhile Nick Brody shits himself and then freaks out because the cold shower water of the dwarves feels like it's burning him. He's a good actor even when he's hard to look at, just normally, but man. Man alive is this terrible to see. And he's getting verbal enough that you clue in also that he has no idea what's going on. The sexy dwarves all have American accents, and he knows from their demeanor and muscle tone that they're military, but you can see how that's still the opposite of comforting.
Grumpy: "Okay so you see him in there, shitting himself and screaming? That's like the three days. And then seven more before it's all the way out of his system."
Dar Adal: "It's the Spring Equinox! We only have six days."
Happy: "Did you think he would be able to stand up at the end of this? He will be like a bald, destructive kitten."
Dar Adal: "Let's give him Ibogaine. It is a psychoactive from Nigeria that dramatically accelerates the withdrawal process and kills the addiction, with only some constant vomiting and brutal, violent hallucinations."
Doc: "...I mean, at some point you're just bad people."
Saul: "Yeah but does it work?"
Dar Adal: "Trust me when I say it does. And do not ask why. This is a thriller, not a horror movie."
Shortly, Nick has a horrible vision, singing the Marines fight song about the shores of Tripoli directly into the camera at us, and the being joined by Tom Walker, who at least does not have a bullet in his head. He starts to realize that ghosts aren't real and he is going through some kind of MK-ULTRA bullshit right there in real life, which I guess is a sign it's working. When he finally pulls it together enough to kill himself -- slapping at his head like it's full of wasps -- he busts a chair to pieces and starts taking huge chunks out of his needle-marked arms. I mean to say that it is a bad scene in there.
Saul hauls ass to grab him before he's successful, and there are some painful moments where he starts slipping in time -- Saul is Abu Nazir, rules are comfort -- and they finally knock him out, dwarves climbing up the pile of dwarves to stick him with a sedative. And he sleeps, but not well and not for long.
ALAIN
Max and Virgil argue good-naturedly about what to do with their boredom, watching Alain's house and waiting for something to happen. The house in question is, in fact, leased to a shipping consortium out of Tel Aviv, so clearly he's Mossad, so they can't really leave until they have something, and then finally they get him: Alain Bernard, walking to his car, meeting with some people, talking about Caracas and whatnot. Oh, Mira. You do have a type, I guess. Although considering how long she's been in this world I guess it's almost less surprising that she would have a boyfriend in one intelligence service or another.
BRODY
Saul: "Welcome back to life! Nice try."
Nick: "I mean, you couldn't just leave me there? Being a junkie in a jail cell was fun, in a way my life for the past ten years has not been. Talk about your low-stress lifestyle."
Saul: "I have an idea."
Nick: "Is it to put me on trial for bombing Langley? No thanks, because I didn't."
Saul: "I know that. But first of all, that's not the only bad thing you've been accused of doing. There is no way this conversation ends with me thinking you're any kind of victim, so you can stop that shit right there. How about we make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, for once."
Saul: "We both know what you've done. We both know what you are. The man who dug so deep he'd never get out. But what if I told you there might actually be a way out? You could dig all the way down, through the Earth, and out the other side. You could be redeemed."
Brody: "You mean like community service?"
Saul: "Kind of. I mean, what if you were a Marine again. The man you were before they broke you. The one none of us got to meet."
Brody: "That sounds painful. Like it actually hurts to consider that."
Saul: "Well, somebody who's had their interior gutted and remodeled as many times as you have probably has a vested interest in pretending who you are right now is all you are or ever were. But it's my belief that down in there, he's waiting for you. He loves you, and he wants you to come home."
But Nick asks to die instead. So the dwarves load him up on a tiny boat and take him out to sea. They drop him in the water like a stone, and he doesn't resist. They wait for him to break out, force himself up into the night, take a breath like something newly born. But all he does is dive, deeper and deeper, until they can barely find him again.
Doc: "He didn't even try. Now he's starving himself."
Dar Adal: "So force-feed him, it's not rocket science. We have the technology."
Happy: "With respect, you are just going to break him worse. He needs six months so we can work our dwarven magic properly."
Saul, verbatim: "You done letting us in on your thought process?"
Dwarves, begrudging: "Yes, sir!"
Saul: "Then feed him."
Dar Adal: "Those dwarves are right, though. It's now or never. Time for the real shit."
Saul: "I know, I just wanted to do like one thing without calling her in. I wanted to give him to her as a gift, not..."
Dar Adal: "It still will be. She's never been much for packaging."
CARRIE
Saul: "How's it going?"
Carrie: "Like you fucking care."
Saul: "So it's gonna be one of those, huh."
Carrie: "I just... You had to have okay'd the bullet through my shoulder, right? I was kind of counting on you to cover me. Like how you always, always do."
Saul: "I secretly wasn't there anyway. But you were fucking everything up, nutsack."
Carrie: "Yeah of course I was! I was going to clear Brody! Aren't you into that?"
Saul: "You cannot ask me to have your same priorities. Frankly they're not serving you either. This is a win/win if you will just let it be. I will back you up and you will be my weapon. Same as it always was."
Carrie: "I literally cannot hear you today, what you're saying. I am seeing in Brodyvision. So you were lying when you said you would help me with him?"
Saul: "Not at all. But funny you should mention lying, considering how on 12/13 you told me you were unconscious for the fourteen hours it took to smuggle him out of the country. I mean, do you think I'm an idiot?"
Carrie: "No, I just thought everybody was tired of me constantly talking about Brody."
Saul: "Hand to God, Mathison."
Saul: "Okay, so you know I went to get him now. Somehow you know that, even though nobody knew that. Are you going to ask how he is?"
Carrie: "...How is he?"
Saul: "Real shitty, Peanut."
Carrie: "What did you do to him?"
Saul: "The assumptions behind that question are so misguided, it frightens me. And also makes me want to kick you in the face. You are fucking unbelievable."
Carrie: "So you found him that way. I'm sure I can imagine. Where is he now?"
Saul: "Dam Neck, in Virginia. A team of Spec Ops dwarves is getting him in shape."
Carrie: "Those guys are the best. But in shape for what?"
Saul: "I have an insane plan and I need you to get him on board."
Carrie: "Uh, wasn't Javadi the play?"
Saul: "He was Phase One."
Carrie: "There's a Phase Two?"
Saul: "Girl, there are so many Phases!"
Carrie: "Okay, so why do you need me? I guess he said no already?"
Saul: "A qualified no. I mean, he's still trying to kill himself all kinds of ways so I don't want to take his word for it. But listen to my plan!"
Phase Two: Get Nick in a room with Darnish Akbari, the Head of the Revolutionary Guard. Javadi's boss, and quote "the single greatest impediment to peace." The Langley Bomber and toast of Al-Qaeda Nick Brody seeks asylum in Iran, gets an audience and takes Akbari out, and then Javadi "goes from being one of the twenty most important people in Iran, to one of three."
Carrie: "No offense, but Akbari's safer than the Ayatollah. The security..."
Saul: "Uh, safer than the Vice President and half the Cabinet? It's not like Brody hasn't pulled this kind of thing off before."
Carrie: "And then he dies, right? That's your big plan?"
Saul: "I have an extraction team for the ground. It will work."
Carrie: "And you expect me to convince him of all this?"
Saul: "I want you to open your mind up for a second and dream with me. A US asset, at the tippity-top of the Iranian security apparatus. Not just an informant, but the boss of it."
Carrie: "And what, he rolls over for us? Do I need to remind you how great this has gone for the Agency in the past? How many US-installed regimes we're now fighting, in undeclared wars?"
Saul: "This is different, this is something else. This is somebody who can shift the facts on the ground just enough that we can talk to them. For the first time in thirty years, talk to them, in words instead of terrorist actions, and threats..."
Carrie: "You mean, an actual sitdown. With Iran."
(Obama: "?")
Saul: "Yeah. Doesn't that sound good?"
GOOD ENOUGH
He's asleep when she sits at his bedside. Something, the smell of her or just her presence, slams his eyes open like a jail cell window. She hears him gasp, quietly, shallow, and tries to remember the kind of moment this wants to be. When he turns over, it's easy: All the fear and worry slip to the floor, and she smiles. In love.
What she doesn't know is how many times he asked for her, and was denied; how she was the only person alive who could... Whatever, and she didn't. And every needle and every death and every hour spent in that cell, it leaked out, like the North Star getting dimmer and colder, every night. Maybe forever, maybe just so he could stay alive. That's what he sees, so he turns his back on her. She doesn't let go, not right away at least. Not until she's doubled over, clutching at her stomach. She could handle the way he was going to look, she was prepared for that; she wasn't ready for the way he looked at her.
Carrie: "Uh, obviously I didn't know you were here until today. I came immediately."
Brody: "[Well, that's good because until today I was mostly shitting myself and committing suicide over and over, so.]"
Carrie: "Can I do anything for you? Tell me, please. Anything. I must just look like pain to you. Hunger. I want you to see me when you look at me, instead. Let me get in there."
Brody: "[Not today. Maybe not ever. Please don't ask me to do assassinations yet.]"
OUTSIDE
Carrie: "I can do this. When do you need him a person again?"
Saul: "27 March."
Carrie: "That's not even a week."
Saul: "I know, right? You can see why I brought you in."
Do you think the plan was to keep her locked up until he was gone again? If you squint you can see that being the best course of action. Why get them both dirty and crazy again after you've worked so hard to fix everything they broke?
Carrie: "Just out of curiosity, what the fuck."
Saul: "Just a world of shit, man. Shot in the gut at the Colombian border, nearly died, doped up on heroin by a magical pedophile, got an imam and his wife murdered..."
Carrie: "Oh, that one had to hurt."
Saul: "It certainly increased his enthusiasm for being a junkie."
Carrie: "Okay. Boom, got it. I got this, girl. I just need a car and three or four dwarves."
SOMEWHERE
Chatty: "What happened to your arm?"
Carrie: "It was a hang-gliding accident, LOL."
Grumpy: "She's CIA, she is going to lie to you."
Chatty: "I know but I am just bored."
Carrie: "Turn left."
This whole trip Brody's been doing his tiny-mouth thing where maybe he's smiling a little bit. Maybe it's cynical, maybe he's angry. Or maybe he's just happy to see the sun.
They pull up to a motel, and you start smiling that way too, because it would not be outwith the realm of possibility that Carrie's plan involves fucking Nick Brody back together. You would be forgiven for this assumption, based on the historical record which reveals that 100 percent of all Carrie plans involve fucking Nick Brody, in some way or another. Although in this case, it might be the more sensible option.
But no. They kill the engine, and they wait. What are they waiting for? The sun passes overhead. He's not screaming for it anymore but that doesn't mean he doesn't want it. He isn't at peace, but he's not raving. When it works its way out of his system, what will go with it? Who will he be? Will the dwarves take him all the way -- all the way -- back to the beginning, before the last honest thing he ever said? Are they strong enough to get him there?
They look it. But I don't think Carrie believes your pieces can ever really come together like that anyway. She's stripped the walls so many times, laid them bare and piled them with clues and rainbow exclamation points, that she has a vested interest in pretending that poorly assembled electrical machinery, jangling joints, is as close as we come. Who you are right now is all you ever are: It's only the number of selves that changes.
If she believed the Marine was down there in the well, she'd have to admit to a little girl in a lion's mask, standing at right angles, in a maze. Calling for rescue; calling her home.
ALAIN
Virgil: "This is the only guy that went in or out of your infiltrator's den."
Max: "How does he get his hair to do that?"
Saul: "Aw, shit."
Virgil: "You know him? Who is he?"
Saul: "A friend of my... Look, his name's Alain Bernard, my wife met him in Mumbai, they may or may not still be fucking, now you know everything. Gah."
Quinn: "That was very brave of you to tell us all of that. You are a credit to your country and the Agency. But can I ask one more thing?"
Saul: "Nope, she doesn't know about this part. I promise you she has no idea she's having an affair with an Israeli intelligence officer. She would be mortified, bringing that into her house like some idiot."
Quinn: "Then what now?"
Saul: "Put him in a very dark hole, and cover it."
Virgil: "Oh! More immediately for this episode, want to see another picture? It's of Alain having lunch with Andrew Lockhart in a diner."
Saul: "Oh, that's much more fun. Everything else goes in the vault. We are focusing on this part, today."
MOTEL
As the sun sets, Dana moves from room to room with her housecleaning cart and apron. Carrie doesn't have to wait long before he starts screaming. He gasps, fighting the dwarves, head-butting them, screaming his daughter's name and calling Carrie every word he can think of. Great big breaths, letting the light in. Like a man coming up for air.
LOCKHART
Admin: "Sir, is the Senator expecting you? Sir?"
Saul: "He most sure as shit is not. Excuse me."
Lockhart: "The fuck you mean barging in here like that? I was making golf plans!"
Saul: "Shut up and open this folder. Do it real slow so I can watch."
Lockhart: "Oh. Uh, Alain Bernard is writing a profile on me for Le Monde."
Saul: "That's funny because twenty minutes ago, Alain Bernard admitted, through a bloody fucking mouth that used to have lots more teeth, to being Israeli intelligence. And that he passed you information obtained from a listening device planted in my home."
Lockhart: "Preposterous!"
Saul: "Oh, no question. No question that it, and you, are a fucking joke. But how about I call Ambassador Benayoun and we chat about it? Or the Post, I bet they'd cream their Dockers over this. Wanna be front-page news? You always seem like you do."
Lockhart: "What are your demands, old foe?"
Saul: "Postpone your confirmation until mid-April, and this all goes away."
Lockhart: "Wait, what? I get everything still? You are bad at negotiating."
Saul: "I'm not negotiating. I'm serving my fucking country."
Lockhart: "But you could be Director of the CIA!"
Saul: "Only a butt chugger would ever want that job."
Lockhart: "Offense taken!"
Saul: "And intended. I'm not interested in embarrassing my wife, or this Agency, when I still have a chance to save everybody. Including your stupid ass. We got a deal?"
DAM NECK
Carrie: "Are you cool or are you going to keep saying Bitch at me?"
Brody: "Why is Dana cleaning motel rooms in the middle of nowhere?"
Carrie: "Well, aren't we elitist."
Brody: "Shut up, I mean why? What happened since I ran?"
Carrie: "Drink this protein shake and I will tell you no information whatsoever."
Brody: (Glunk glunk glunk.)
Carrie: "Okay, she's had some trouble. She dropped out, changed her name because you are embarrassing and left Jessica standing uncomfortably in her yard."
Brody: "Great. Take me to see her."
Carrie: "You know what you have to do first."
Brody: "Fucking games!"
Carrie: "If you keep yelling I will leave. If you chill, these armed men will leave. Which."
He moves to the bed, and is very quiet, and his eyes are actually focused.
Brody: "Okay, what do you, meaning Saul, actually want. He was pretty vague before."
Carrie: "But not wrong. You could be a Marine again. You could be redeemed."
Brody: "Carrie, you were there. I didn't do it."
Carrie: "I'm talking about the vest, and the people Tom shot outside the State Department to get the vest inside. I'm talking about that imam and his wife, in Caracas."
Brody: "His words in your mouth."
Carrie: "Mine too. Do it for Dana. Because right now you want to tell her how innocent you are, and right now that is a lie."
Brody: "Look at me, Carrie. You couldn't send me out for a pack of cigarettes right now."
Carrie: "So we'll get you ready. We have the technology."
16 DAYS OF TRAINING MONTAGE
The first day, it's not so great. The Special Ops dwarves close ranks around him, laughing and ribbing him sweetly enough, and then they start running. She watches from a car as he drops, maybe barfs, and keeps going. And going. First laps, then suicides, then jogs through the woods.
Doc: "He needs to do it by himself. Tell me when you're good to go again."
Immediately: "Now."
He runs radios, scanning frequency, identifying languages and codes. Memorizing strings of numbers, letters, playing cards. Taking in entire lad-mag centerfolds with a glance, repeating back her name, turn-ons, turn-offs, favorite quotes and where they're sourced.
On the last day, he's playing cards with the main one, my favorite one, when Doc gives him a sidelong glance.
Doc: "You guys got something going on? I've seen the way she checks you out, when you're not looking."
Brody: "Absolutely not. I am a Frankenstein to her. I am their Monster."
Doc: "Bullshit. He's still in there and she knows it. You should know it too."
Brody: "I swear to you. It's last call."
Doc: "Then maybe I should hit that."
His eyes are like an eagle for a second, talon and hood. He shrugs.
Doc: "I knew it!"
Brody: "No, go for it. Try your hardest."
Doc: "I'm fucking with you. I'm married, I have a kid."
Brody: "Why don't I know that about you?"
Doc: "I don't talk about my family. Knock wood."
BRIEFING
Scott Ryan: "Okay. Patrols in the area are intermittent but well-trained and -equipped. There's an IRIAF base in Bijar, 70 miles out, which means they can scramble F-1 Mirages and SU-24s if they need to..."
Brody: "Excuse me, pardon me? Walk me through it again."
The team takes him to the border at Marivan, to ask for asylum like plenty of other Al-Qaeda. They vet him -- which should be awful, I'm guessing -- and then fly him to Tehran. He'll be treated like propaganda, because that's what he is, meaning that General Akbari and other people on that level will need to be seen with him. Nothing he didn't go through last year, with the swimming pools and those nasty women gaping at his scars. Javadi eases the gears, Brody takes out the General, and then...
Scott: "You seem concerned about our extraction plan. Wait, that makes sense. Let me tell you about that. Once you're inserted at the border, four team members continue south to Nodesheh, cross the mountains, and make their way overland to Lavasan, outside Tehran. There's a safe house there, provided by the opposition, which we're already outfitting...
When he finally gets outside, Carrie is smoking a baby. I mean a cigarette. She acts cute when he catches her, in that jangly Carrie way -- "I'm not, it just looks like I'm smoking, it never happened, it's over and you saw nothing" -- but even for her, it's pretty damaged-sounding. Almost like she is ashamed of herself.
Brody: "I'm doing what you want, I did everything you asked. To the letter."
Carrie: "Dana? I meant after you got back. You're in no state."
Brody: "Carrie, we both know I am going to die in Tehran. Please be cool."
Carrie: "It's a long shot, but then I wasn't sure you'd make it this far either."
Brody: "Is that why you've been avoiding me?"
Carrie: "No. It is not. Look, I can't get you off the base and back in time to..."
Brody: "I'm not going at all unless I see Dana again, so you tell me."
MOTEL
Carrie: "Oh hey PS, before she got rid of your name she tried to kill herself because she was ashamed of you, and ended up in a mental institution until your disgraced wife couldn't pay for her care anymore. Go get 'em, Tiger!"
It is a very long walk. Even longer once he's at the door, and she staring out the window at him. Not like a ghost, not like a coffee advertisement: Like Hell is at her door.
Dana: "How'd you find me?"
Brody: "Carrie, duh."
Dana: "No hugs and no sympathy. That girl died. My name's Lazaro now."
Brody: "Okay I just wanted to give you a quick heads-up that I didn't blow up the CIA or kill anybody."
Dana: "That's cool, nice talk. Bye!"
Brody: "I really need a little more. I'm shipping out again and probably will die."
Dana: "It's always so fun when you visit."
"Listen up. I get that you wanted to settle things with me and go ... wherever ... with a clear head, but what you didn't even consider, as usual, was whether I would welcome it. You didn't take my welfare into consideration. A thing that you have been doing since I was very small.
"I know that you have problems in your head where you can't consider other people's situations so I will lay it out for you. I was the girl with no father. People felt sorry for me and I felt like I was missing something that everybody else had, and if you were home I would be whole. Then you came home and you were a violent monster. You looked at me like you wanted to eat me, like you could get something back that you'd lost. Also not me, also just a story about me.
"Chris, you treated like he didn't exist. Because he didn't. So now I'm your daughter and your son. You tricked me into thinking we were the same, that we were on a team against Mom. You made me hate her. I fuckin' still hate her. And that's on you.
"Then your girlfriend calls me and tells me I have to stop fucking World War Three. It's on me to talk you down. So I did it. And then I was the Senator's daughter, and I was still sticking up for you. I carried all of you bastards on my back. And then you died, again, and you betrayed your country, again, and even if you're saying it's not true now, well, tell that to the scars on my fucking wrists.
"The second you leave I am going to break down, because even right now I am horrified by what I am saying to you. I want to climb you, like a little girl, and put my arms around your neck. I want to lock you in the bathroom of this motel room so you never leave again. And that makes me fucking sick. You are what is wrong with me. That part has been true the whole time. I don't mean it to hurt you, or to shift blame off myself. It is a simple fact.
"So here's the deal. You tell me what you need me to say, in order to make your peace, and I will say it. But I can't come up with it on my own, because I'm not a fucking spy like everybody else. I can't pretend to be anything other than Dana Lazaro, and I shouldn't have to. I never should have had to. So you write it down and I will say it. Because I won't be a liability, you don't deserve that. But I won't be a motherfucking asset, either, and you can go ahead and pass that on to Carrie, too. Lose my number, both of you. Give me that."
I am not the key to you. Not anymore.
DAM NECK
Nick: "I will come back from Tehran."
Carrie: "Yeah, of course you will! I know you will."
Nick: "I'm not talking about her."
While he's loading out, Saul jumps up Carrie's ass about their little trip. She doesn't let on that it was to see Dana, of course, because that would stir up ten kinds of shit. But she breathes, quietly; she's a little bit at peace now. She didn't hear the whole thing, but she heard enough. Thought about how on Earth she could tell this girl how far she took it, the Yoga Play, to get her out of a situation she ended up solving all on her own.
Saul: "Anything could've happened! We're so close! I am truly at a fuckin' loss with you."
Carrie: "Have a little faith, Saul. Two weeks ago there was no operation. Now there is. Because of me. I really need you to get that. To pull this off, we're gonna have to find a way to trust each other again. Or at least come up with a really great plan for faking it."
I'll be your weapon if you'll pull me out of the fire. Nothing has to change. We have the technology.
She doesn't kiss Brody, or touch him. She doesn't say any of the things she wants to say. Half of them he doesn't even know, or he'd want to hear them too. "See you on the other side," she says, blinking. He nods and then he's gone. They're both already halfway there.
WEEK
Three episodes left in the season, a little over a week left on the clock before Saul loses the Agency. The team takes him to beg for asylum, snipers in place to make sure it works out okay. And if it doesn't, they have a plan for that too.
JACOB CLIFTON is a freelance writer and critic based in Austin, Texas. He currently recaps The Good Wife, Homeland, Hostages, Ravenswood, and Masters Of Sex for TWoP. Jacob can be found online at jacobclifton.com, Twitter, and Facebook, as well as a regular column for Tor.com, Geek Love.