Shiva

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We return 58 days after the Langley bombing that left 219 people dead, including a bunch of former cast members of this show. Senate hearings -- which could legitimately lead to the dissolution of the CIA altogether -- are chaired by an Andrew Lockhart (Tracy Letts), backed up by David Portillo (the always-wonderful Pedro Pascal!). In reviewing the broad strokes of the past two seasons, we learn that Carrie's story is that she was knocked out by the blast and not rescued for 14 hours, and that she won't be revealing the truth about the suicide vest, but otherwise she's not interested in lying or selling Brody out.

Back at home, Dad notes Carrie's Wall of Brody nonsense and quickly determines that she is self-medicating with tequila and crazy behavior, because of course this "Second 9/11" has knocked loose exactly the same "I should have seen it coming, this is why I don't take my meds" parts of her brain that we started the show with. So once more, out of guilt for not being a superhero, Carrie has decided to drop her lithium and go back to being super once again -- while also carrying on a secret investigation of her own into the whereabouts of her soulmate (who won't show up for at least one more hour, FYI). And then, of course, there's a mole in the Agency leaking documents and details (to both the committee and the press) throughout the episode, complicating matters further.

More importantly, what is Quinn doing? Just sitting around naked and sweaty, making an IED in some basement somewhere. How come? Who the fuck cares? Reread that sentence and tell me why any more information is required than that. Naked Quinn, building bombs and sweatin' up a storm. Done.

The operation in retaliation for Langley goes into effect, putting Quinn in Caracas to assassinate one entire compound while teams all over the Middle East are taking down related cells. Dar Adal and Scott Ryan (F. Murray Abraham and Tim Guinee) are there to help Saul, having come in from the cold I guess permanently. Anyway, Adal wants Saul to throw Carrie under the bus, and back home Saul's dealing with Mira, who has moved back but for some reason he can't seem to touch her.

Quinn rides a motorcycle around, which is excellent, and then has a momentary lapse of not being able to kill a kid, which endangers the entire globe-spanning mission. Eventually he blows up the house and then goes from room to room shooting people, eventually -- and ironically, and also here-we-go-ishly -- killing the kid anyway. So the operation is a success, but now Quinn is going to be weird about killing this kid.

For being the scariest assassin of all time, to where like ghosts and draculas get scared when you say his name, Quinn sure does fuckin' hate doing his job.

Uh, Dana has spent two months institutionalized for a suicide attempt that the professionals call "effing hardcore," a medical term that means she was not effing around. She comes home today, leaving behind a hot new boyfriend -- Leo Carras, played by Dexter's recent protégé Sam Underwood, who I think is just great -- with whom she is able to still connect by snapchatting each other pix of their fancy-and-staples.

Otherwise the Brody house is a huge fucking mess as usual: Now that Brody is a confessed terrorist and traitor, they have no income, no insurance and no friends whatsoever. Jessica's mother is in town to "help out," but so far displays none of the nightmarish parenting skills one imagines would result in a Jessica. I think it's probably a matter of time.

Anyway, Dana's even more awesome this year. The lack of a fuck she's ever seemed interested in giving is nothing compared to this year. She's like, borrowing other people's fucks just to stay afloat. Just to have walkin'-around fucks in her pocket. Meanwhile, Chris…is.

Carrie meets a hot ginger at the grocery store and then fucks him on her carpeted stairs, because hot ginger + tequila + anonymous sex + no meds = The 7 Habits Of Highly Successful CIA Analysts. That moment when you go, "Hot Ginger, nice! ...Oh. Hot Ginger. Oh, girl. Oh, Carrie. That is so many things at once and I can see them alllll from heeeere."

AM, Dad calls with an interesting story from the newspaper about how some CIA slut off her meds was fucking Nick Brody and got him out of the country after he blew up the entire government with his car, and he's like, "Do you know this girl? She seems troubled." This sends Carrie to the brunch where Saul, Adal, Scott Ryan and everybody else are celebrating the wonderful success of Operation Quinn, and she melts right the fuck down in front of the entire restaurant.

Dar Adal admits to Saul that yes, he would totally do this to a person, but he isn't doing it to Carrie, especially now that things are going so well, etc. (They are both stressed about this because oversight is sending a message by not cleaning up or rebuilding the rubble that used to be Langley, as a punishment/threat, so Team Quinn needed a big win this time.) Mostly I don't like talking about the Mole because I always forget about the Mole until they talk about the Mole and then I think what would happen if Quinn was the Mole and then I want to bite through my hand.

Saul's up , giving testimony about the operation, which apparently had to do with bombing civilians in part, so that's classy of us. And while he's eager to tout the success of the mission and therefore of the CIA as an entity, Senator Lockhart's more interested in talking about this crazy CIA slut from the newspaper, who remains "anonymous" except for how she is not at all anonymous. Saul, while defending Agent X to a certain extent, makes sure to mention how she's unstable, erratic, bipolar and hid all of this for over ten years... As well as her relationship with Nick. It's the soundbite, it's the nail in her coffin, it puts the Chin on like an Orange Level, and we out.

Week: Quinn gets all Issa about the dead kid, presumably resulting in some shirtless baby-cradling for about ten minutes of every episode and that's his storyline for the remainder of the season. Just cradling babies, rocking in a chair or standing quietly in an afternoon sunbeam, tears rolling silently down his face. Oh yeah, that's good. That's the stuff. Uh, Carrie gets all paranoid but she's also right about everything; Saul is the only person on the show remotely interested in doing his actual job; Jessica and Dana are a fucking trainwreck being attacked by a shark that is on fire. So, pretty much status quo, all things considered.

Did you miss Nick? I didn't miss Nick. I think it would suck if he never came back, at least until his inevitable death, but I think it's pretty awesome to be like, "Yeah, that guy? He'll be around, don't worry about it. Let's talk about all this other shit" and have that pay off. OTOH I guess he didn't actually need to be on the show because the entire show is still about him, so it was like he was there onstage, but just dressed as an armoire or magnolia tree or something. A magnolia tree with a notably diminutive mouth.

Want more? The full recap starts right below!

PREVIOUSLY

Two months ago, the entire CIA and lots of government bigwigs got blown right up! Who did it? Bad guys. Who's it pinned on? Nick Brody, whose confession video for his derailed suicide-vest adventure was released. 14 hours later, Carrie was back with Saul surveying the 219 victims of the blast, having helped Nick disappear.

We rejoin Carrie at the ongoing Senate hearings about the catastrophe, Saul and Dar Adal are prepping a retaliatory mission, and the Brody household sitting at the center of a whole globe's worth of revulsion.

BUT FIRST

Oh, Peter Quinn is so sweaty down in this creepy basement bunker! What's he doing with all that sweat on his naked self? Oh, building an IED. Of course. Probably it is just for practice. Probably it is not because he is secretly a terrorist. Although if he is, today is Carrie's lucky day because for sure she will be sleeping with him.

HEARING

The main players here are Chairman Andrew Lockhart and Majority Counsel David Portillo, who are scary and awesome respectively, and the lawyer representing (Carrie? The CIA?), Erin Kimball. The hearings are closed-door, because everybody's got contacts in the field.

Lockhart: "So lots of witnesses so far have characterized the follow-up as the CIA covering its own ass for negligence and possibly employing crazy people. All of management got blown up, so Saul Berenson is basically in charge, and almost everybody seems to think it would be easier if we got rid of the CIA itself."
Carrie: "That would be a bummer because the CIA is literally the only thing I can do right."
Portillo: "Okay so you worked at the CIA for how long?"
Carrie: "14 years, as a case officer in the National Clandestine Service."
Portillo: "Your resume shows a short break in there, last year?"
Carrie: "That's because I was fired for being super-duper crazy, creeping on a guy's entire family, and nailing secret documents to the wall of my condo. I then scribbled on all of them in different colored markers, after I accidentally got blown up a little bit. Quite a ride, Counselor."

Portillo: "Okay and then in season two you got your job back? For real that happened?"
Carrie: "Yeah, I got reinstated to Team Quinn for an off-book taskforce to catch Abu Nazir."
Portillo: "Why would that, like, ever happen?"

Carrie: "Because I was the Ahab of Abu Nazir. Also because I was instrumental in screwing Nick Brody, both figuratively and literally, into being a double agent."

"If you're asking, Did he outsmart me? Yes, he did. If you're asking, Will I ever forgive myself? No, I won't."

But if you're asking, Did I look that motherfucker in the eye as he was dying...

MEANWHILE

Saul: "I wish I was there to give her moral support because we are buds."
Dar Adal: "Have you ever read the book Blubber, by Judy Blume?"
Saul: "Yeah, like a hundred times."
Dar Adal: "If you make friends with the fat girl, you become the fat girl. Do not get her crazy on you."
Saul: "That is not the rules of friendship!"
Dar Adal: "I am Dar Adal-ing you and you don't even know it. But believe me, when I finally pull the trigger on blaming Carrie for all of this, you won't even remember why that's a problem."

They survey the wreckage of the CIA, which has not been picked up or cleaned up or whitewashed or anything. It is still just an ugly horrible hole in the ground. This is, they both know, because the Hill is interesting in dicking them around -- punishing them -- for not being good at the thing they are good at. Compare with the Pentagon, that got rebuilt so fast after 9/11 you barely even saw it happen. Verbatim:

Saul: "I won't do that, I won't throw Carrie under the bus."
Dar Adal: "Then just jump up and down on her, really hard."

Scott Ryan is the name of the character played by Tim Guinee, who is/was just great on The Good Wife as the daddy PI. He seems to be the main dude under Saul and Dar Adal for this thing they are doing. He interrupts this creepy convo to say that Peter Quinn has stopped building bombs just long enough to inform them that their multi-team operation of killing scads of people is a go. Quinn's wherever he is, and the other teams are now in place.

HEARING

Lockhart: "Carrie, can you tell us some stuff about Nick Brody? Like anything really. You usually have crazy shit to say about Nick Brody and I thought it would be a fun way to end the morning session."
Carrie: "Okay, I helped debrief him at Langley after he was seemingly rescued from Afghanistan..."

Lockhart: "Right. It seems to me from the transcripts that you were the main one pressing the issue, shall we say..."
Carrie: "What issue?"
Lockhart: "Like um, how he was a terrorist? He got turned in captivity? You seemed to be all over that from Day One."
Carrie: "Yeah, because that's my job?"

Lockhart: "Portillo, would you pull out that memo where the CIA offered Brody immunity for getting Abu Nazir? Carrie, what is this shit right here?"
Carrie: "I mean, who knows? Why do you have that? I don't know what that is. I don't think it exists. DOJ Exhibit #2 seems to be just empty air you are calling a memorandum. Immunity from what, I wonder."
Lockhart: "Probably overdue parking tickets. Just kidding, it is because he was a terrorist and you knew he was a terrorist. This is signed by the Attorney General himself."
Carrie: "Too bad he got blown up that time, or he might be able to help us understand it!"

Erin Kimball: "You know that we're on a worldwide manhunt for Brody, right? So it was conditional that you wouldn't bug Carrie about that today."
Lockhart: "Good try, but that's not what I'm doing."
Erin Kimball: "With respect, the US government has a thriving business in hiding anything and everything unsavory behind a huge screen marked 'spooky terrorism.' I'm just following your lead."
Carrie: "Erin, I can take it from here. Directly into the shitter, I mean."

"What if I told you I don't think he did it?"

The rumbling is the same as when Dana stood up at Quaker Meeting that time. The glee on Lockhart's face: Same. The rage on Erin Kimball's face: Same. It is a glorious and delirious moment.

Carrie: "I don't think he killed anybody. I don't think he knew the bomb was in the car."
Kimball: "Mr. Chairman, this bitch crazy. You know that, right?"
Lockhart: "Yeah, of course, but this is like, the best thing that ever happened. Are you not loving this? Do we really have to stop her?"

RECESS

Kimball: "...So I got you a recess until after the holiday weekend. Also, if I may, what the fuck?"
Carrie: "I was thrown by the fact that I had just committed perjury in front of Congress. Where did he get that memo?"
Kimball: "I agree that it's weird, but I'm glad you lied. That suicide vest thing is the only thing they can't know. The Agency would be gone if we told them that. You have to lie. And you have got to stop taking up for his ass in public. Have you never read Blubber by Judy Blume?"

Carrie runs off to cry to Saul, leaving Erin Kimball with her crazy person notebook full of her absolutely insane crazy person scribblings that will eventually solve whatever needs solving. Kimball is so exhausted just by the visual of Carrie's intense writings that she slumps off the bench and onto the floor.

Saul: "...The actual memo?"
Carrie: "They put it in my actual hands! Somebody leaked it, Saul..."
Saul: "Okay. But chill, baby. This is exactly what Dar Adal wants."
Carrie: "I feel like I walked into a propeller!"
Saul: "Yeah, but you got through it. Listen, about a thousand people are in this building standing with you. Just ... not literally. Because it is embarrassing."

GROUP THERAPY

Leader: "So today we're going to talk about re-entry. As you all know, this is Dana's last day. Dana, tell us about going home, what that's going to look like."
Dana: "I will, um, remember what we've talked about. The tools we've learned."
Leader: "Good job saying exactly what I want you to say. Name the coping strategies you will use."
Dana: "I will take one day at a time. I will meditate. I will schedule. I will ask for help when I need it. I will slow down, so nothing is overwhelming. I will make lists. So many lists."
Leader: "Good, that's a good one."
Dana: "PS, I will not be doing any of these things. I am too awesome for you, and my crazy is too big for coping strategies you got out of a workbook."

Her buddy in treatment is a cutie named Leo, who is played by Sam Underwood, who is just like... Everywhere right now. He looks like American Ed Westwick, which is a good thing. He also has the entitled white person thing down pat, plus great hair.

Jessica: "Well, I guess I'm glad Dana is alive."
Therapist: "She sleeps, she eats, she participates. She is functioning at a certain level."
Jessica: "As long as she stops slitting her wrists all over the house, I guess. How hard do I need to be watching her? Because I think we all know how observant I am."
Therapist: "The daughter carries the emotional burdens of the family. That's why poltergeists. You all need to be in therapy, if you don't want her to implode."
Jessica: "Fat chance. I don't even have insurance, thanks to my husband getting fired for mass murder. My mother reverse-mortgaged her house thanks to this stunt."

Therapist: "Sounds tough."
Jessica: "Less so for my suicidal daughter, moreso that my mother is annoying."

Therapist: "Well, poor people have access to certain programs too. I mean, what are they going to do, shut down the government?"
Jessica: "I absolutely hate the idea of using the same lifesaving measures as a poor person might use."
Therapist: "Yeah, I saw that coming. Listen, you need to actually hear me, okay? This is your responsibility to manage this. Dana fucked up your bathroom, and your husband is a terrorist, but you are also the bitch that didn't notice any of this shit happening. Okay? You need to actually get right with that."
Jessica: "It sounds like you're saying my daughter's suicide is more than just something bad that happened to me. Which cannot be right."
Therapist: "Do you know how often we see suicides this well-planned and determined and clear-eyed? She wasn't looking for attention, she was looking for oblivion. This is the girl that nearly brought down the Vice Presidency because she felt bad about a random old lady getting run over by somebody else. Homegirl meant business."
Jessica: "Yes, it's been very hard."

Jessica: "...On me. Bricks through the window, not getting invited to tea parties by rich ladies anymore... I mean, my only friend in the DC inner circle got blown to hell. Who's inviting me for cocktails now? I'll tell ya. Nobody."
Therapist: "Yeah, we're done here. And please, please get your shit together."
Jessica: "Absolutely not. Good day."

Leo: "So when can I see you again?"
Dana: "Yeah, we're going to be under some pretty strict surveillance..."
Leo: "Your mom seems like a monster, that's true."
Dana: "No like actual surveillance. Like by the FBI. Remember?"
Leo: "Dude! I keep forgetting."

Paparazzi buzz, buzz, buzz. Welcome to your new life, same as the old life.

OPERATION MIGHTY QUINN

Director Berenson, via Scott Ryan, outlines the mission: Twenty minutes, starting tomorrow at 1950 EST, taking out six targets all over the globe, so they can't warn each other. It's audacious and kind of beautiful, but very much balanced on a razor's edge. It's also understood that this is even directly related to the 12/12 bombing at Langley, although the language is just slippery enough when they discuss it that you keep wondering.

Admiral: "Can we talk about Nick Brody now? Technically this is related to him."
Saul: "Yeah, he has nothing to do with this? Because we don't know where he is."
Admiral: "Yeah, but like the President would love it if you could just find him also? Because America would be really happy then?"
Saul: "Yeah, Brody's the posterboy. I get that. But let's talk about the head of the snake now."

Beyond our reach for the time being, Majid Javadi -- a big part of Carrie's scrawlings as well, so that checks out -- is a commander with the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps and deputy minister of its intelligence directory. Last seen out and about in 1994, when Mossad accused him of a bombing in Buenos Aires that left 85 dead at a Jewish Community Center. He's also directly tied to the Mykonos assassinations (Germany 1992, four dead) and the Khobar Towers attack (Saudi Arabia, 1996; 520 casualties including 19 dead US servicemen). Saul went up against him in the 1970's when he worked for SAVAK, the Iranian secret police. His name then was "The Magician" because he was always making people disappear. (By killing them, you see.)

Admiral: "So you're saying he was the Shah's man before he was the Ayatollah's?"
Saul: "Yeah, and like Satan the whole way through. Anyway, the other six are his network he used to do the 12/12 bomb. Plus I guess Nick Brody, but we already talked about that. So can we get you to sign off on this?"
Admiral: "Maybe. I just like to see you squirm because we all know this is the last thing the CIA might ever do, so it better be super awesome either way."

Dar Adal: "We can't be seen hand-wringing in front of the National Security Advisor! Why are you such a pussy all the time? In the day, I would have put my foot on the chair between the Admiral's knees and done a deep knee-bend until he could smell my lunch on my breath right when I said The Magician. The Agency is really lacking in showmanship these days. That, and employees who don't fuck terrorists."
Saul: "I'm just sad that we have to pedeconference at our age. I wish I had an office. Listen, the Admiral's right. This op is still just a stepping stone to Majid Javadi."
Dar Adal: "First on the agenda is saying 'Majid Javadi' like a hundred million times, like we did Abu Nazir throughout the first two seasons. Jacob needs to learn to spell Majid Javadi and everybody watching the show needs to remember that the new bad guy is Majid Javadi, so make sure you say Majid Javadi all the time, okay?"

Saul: "Not even Israel knows where Majid Javadi is, and those dudes keep pretty close tabs generally. Our own analysts think Majid Javadi died in 2005 when Ahmadinejad got elected and he was like, 'This place is shitty, but you know what? It could be shittier, let's kill everybody.' Remember that? What a dick."
Dar Adal: "Or maybe you're scared because this op is so intense and so you're trying to downplay its importance. Which I don't love, because that sort of implies in turn that Quinn is less awesome than he is, and that doesn't hit anybody's ear right. Six separate ops, on three different continents, with an untested C&C team, and a twenty-minute clock. Why are you talking about Majid Javadi when the only thing you should be saying is Who the fuck needs Viagra."

Saul: "Fine. And about Carrie, listen, she's been through a lot..."
Dar Adal: "No, she's just crazy and a liability. We don't have the privilege in this business to differentiate between ambushes and fuckups. Don't get ambushed, that's the rule. And if you do get ambushed, see above. Having a bad couple of months and being a complete trainwreck are not mutually exclusive. Look, just kill all these dudes and sell them on the threat of Majid Javadi so we get to keep our jobs. Because I don't know if you've noticed, but none of us are any good as people because we're just weapons designed to work at the CIA. No CIA, no us."

MATHISON

Dad: "Hey Carrie, I just noticed this big wall of crazy you have on your wall."
Carrie: "No big deal, it's just every Brody sighting for the last two months, connected with yarn. The more reliable ones, I mean, I'm not nuts. Lol!"
Dad: "Um, for sure? Are you not off your meds, obviously?"
Carrie: "Kind of. I'm kind of off my meds."
Dad: "How is that an option?"
Carrie: "Am I taking lithium, no. Am I doing yoga and drinking tea, yes."
Dad: "And also drinking tequila by the quart. Is that... Is this medically supervised? Because it sounds like something a bipolar person might come up with on a manic phase."
Carrie: "I read about it in the Journal of Alternative Medicine..."
Dad: "Not really a thing."
Carrie: "...And so basically it's doctor-supervised. In that there is a doctor..."
Dad: "Nope. Not a doctor."

Carrie: "In that there is a person..."
Dad: "Still no. You know the difference between the Journal of Alternative Medicine and a medical journal? One word. Shall I tell you what it is?"

Carrie: "Look. I'm running six miles a day, I'm sleeping eight hours. It's working!"
Dad: "You are scribbling on a wall and also on a notebook."
Carrie: "Fine. Look, you know how 9/11 was my fault? Because I am a superhero and I let my country down? And so finding Abu Nazir was my way of fixing that?"
Dad: "Yeah, it's actually kind of valid. Not hugely humble, but you are in fact a superhero and nobody takes a job of service like yours without feeling a certain amount of stewardship for the thing they're protecting."
Carrie: "Well, the thing that happened -- like, hours later -- is 12/12 at Langley, which they are calling the Second 9/11. Catch my drift?"
Dad: "Those people didn't die because you were taking your meds, those people died because you were fucking a terrorist in the bathroom during a funeral, exactly like somebody who wasn't taking her meds."

"Do you not understand my To-Do List? I have to absolve Nick Brody, atone for 12/12, save the CIA, and get Majid Javadi. That's four things. And I can for sure do them! Twelve episodes tops. But only if momma's a speed racer. I need to be on the ball this season. I don't care how crazy I go, I need to turn on my powers and pay whatever price I'm paying. Please respect my decision. I am Dialing H for H-E-R-O. Whatever I become, that's what I had to be."

BRODY HOME

Grandma: "Your body! Let me critique it."
Dana: "Hey, Grandma."
Chris: "I exist!"

Sure you do, honey. Dana heads off down the hall, to unpack in a room that seems like it belongs to some other girl -- and the troll doll Leo snuck into her backpack, along with a very sweet note about how they are in love that begins Dear Shiva The Destroyer... -- and immediately strops down to email Leo a topless selfie, because Dana is great. That is obviously the first thing she should do. And it makes this an afterthought:

Dana: "...Mom? You had the bathroom redone?"
Jessica: "Uh..."
Dana: "Looks nice!"

Like what was she going to say? Jessica, you dork. Dana's willing to play the Healthy Game (or else she just, you know, is healthy, which means Jessica is going to accidentally force the issue) but even if's she's still stuck, either way you need to calm down about it. And anyway, can you imagine? "How dare you paint over my blood all over the place! I was gonna Instagram that shit."

PS, where the fuck is Mike? Jessica deserves at least Mike. I wonder if that went along with the Marines. Wouldn't that be so sad if they couldn't be together just because she is the Ruth Madoff of terrorism now?

BERENSONS

Mira: "You know what is more fun than talking about your same problems you always have? Doing it with your wife."
Saul: "That's not happening. Just sit still and give me free therapy. The point is, I hate being CIA Director. I wish at least one less person had died."
Mira: "Could they really destroy the CIA? This TV show always makes these absurd claims and then they turn out to be totally true."
Saul: "This is one of those. Congress could revoke our charter whenever they want."
Mira: "Then you better kill all those dudes!"
Saul: "The CIA is not assassins, we're spies. We turn our targets into assets."
Mira: "Fine, then do that. Whatever."

They go to bed, and they do not have sex. In fact, they have separate bedrooms.

Mira: "This is stupid. I've been back from Mumbai for two months and you won't even talk to me about if we're together, or married, or what. I know you can live in a refrigerator carton and eat worms and grubs and feel fine about it, but we're not all raccoon people, honey. Momma needs an answer."
Saul: "Are you comparing my marital paralysis outside the home..."
Mira: "-- Inside the home. You said outside."
Saul: "My mistake. Are you comparing my marital paralysis outs... with you to the Hamlet angst I'm feeling about work? Because sometimes you gotta let shit cook. I'm waiting for the answer to reveal itself. You'll be the first to know."
Mira: "Great, thanks. Glad I'll be doing the heavy lifting, like always. Goodnight!"

HEARING

Carrie: "...This is seriously how Saul wants it to go?"
Kimball: "Yeah, sorry he didn't tell you himself."
Lockhart: "You're late. Whatever, anyway, you wanted to retract your statements from before the recess?"
Carrie: "..."
Kimball: "Let the record show she nodded her head affirmatively. Also let it show that she needs to pull it the fuck together."
Lockhart: "How about we go another direction entirely. Ms. Mathison, where were you during and after the bomb? The fourteen hours you haven't accounted for, I mean."

Kimball: "Already answered in her written statement, Mr. Chairman. The bathroom."
Lockhart: "And she remained there through the night, until the first responders found her."
Kimball: "All right there in the..."
Lockhart: "Well because we have testimony that contradicts that. We hear that she left the auditorium before the blast. With the Congressman."
Kimball: "And who the fuck would these mysterious tipsters be? And why don't I know any of this?"
Lockhart: "This isn't a trial, it's a witch hunt. We're just fact-finding."
Kimball: "You know what, fuck you. Fifth Amendment."

Lockhart: "Clamming up right before I ask you about boning the terrorist? For the express reason of not giving testimony against yourself? You realize, Ms. Mathison, how this makes you look?"
Carrie: "Yeah, that's not a huge concern of mine, generally speaking."
Lockhart: "When I figure out what you're hiding, I'm going to throw the entire CIA in jail. I'm holding you in Contempt of Congress!"
Carrie: "Is that even a thing?"
Lockhart: "Mostly I just wanted you to understand that I think you are being very, very mean."
Carrie: "Oh right, I've heard of this. Didn't that happen to like, Kissinger once? Go for it."

MIGHTY QUINN IS GO

The six targets are all named after different Oz characters, hence the episode title. I don't know that the deets are really necessary for our purposes, but five of them are ready -- Hellfires in Yemen, wall-scaling ninja teams in Venezuela -- and the last, Quinn is running point. He puts his new homemade bomb in a stylish rucksack, gets on a motorcycle and gets ready to take out #6, which is when the whole thing will start.

Quinn rides up alongside the Tin Man's car, ready to blow him away, but then notices a little boy in the car with him, so he loses his momentum and fails the operation momentarily. If he doesn't go, nobody can go, though, so he takes it all the way back to Tin Man's compound, where they storm the entire Venezuelan castle and take out their scary guns and whatnot. Imagine Zero Dark Thirty but in a castle. So Quinn video-games his way through the house, to the center where the Tin Man is, and takes out everybody in that room...

Including the little boy he thought he was saving by doing this mission and jeopardizing the entire thing. Which is very sad and you think maybe he's still going to foul it up, because we all know what a big heart Quinn has, for being such a heartless killer. But then back at C&C, he texts them a photo a dead body, but which is encrypted with the title of the episode, so then they all scream and yell and do a dance.

Which brings to mind my question over the summer that I forgot until just now, but: Who is Quinn now, in the light of the Langley massacre? Because if he believes Carrie -- which, why would he? -- then this was his victory too. But if he assumes, along with America (and everyone on earth except Carrie) that Nick Brody was the real villain here, then you already know who he is.

He's the man who caused the Second 9/11, all on his own, that day at the cabin.

And he's the only man who knows it, I think, because David Estes is dead. I don't think Saul ever knew for sure who was supposed to kill Nick or what even went down. Which means that, along with his own dead Issa to dream about now, he also gets to be the man who let America's Boogyman kill everyone. And not just any everyone: His daylight compatriots, his aboveground counterparts. The people he goes dark for, they are all dead. And it is all his fault, and nobody knows that. And that is just awful, if it's true.

BRODY

Jessica: "Thanks for asking! My job interview went really well."
Dana: "Job interview? What, you can do things?"
Jessica: "I got my accounting degree, and I am hating interviews. I haven't worked in an office since before you guys were born, so that part is kind of awful. Also being married to the Devil, that part kind of sucks too."
Grandma: "I think it's tacky that you're not being compensated for all those years you devoted to being a military wife. I mean, I've seen that show. I know how hard it can be."
Jessica: "There's a little less gratitude once you're named a traitor by the government. What am I, gonna sue the Marine Corps?"
Dana: "Yeah! Yolo, Mom. Fuck it."
Grandma: "You could at least talk to a lawyer. I mean, wasn't that his whole thing? Enlisting in the first place so he could take care of his family? You were going to be teachers, when you met. He signed up for a two-year stint. If it weren't for 9/11, that would have been the end of it."
Jessica: "How do you know all this shit?"
Grandma: "How do you not get that he made these decisions without you, just like he became a terrorist and a Muslim without you signing off. Your whole life looks like a conspiracy to fuck you over, now that he's gone."
Jessica: "Right? Thank you for saying that."

Dana: "Hey guys, what did the optimist say as he was jumping off a building?"

Jessica: "Oh, here we fucking go. Are you capable of being anything but dark, ever?"
Dana: "So far, so good!"
Chris: "That is legitimately funny! Thank you for talking about the thing we're not supposed to be talking about. It puts us all at ease, and makes a pithy statement at the same time."
Jessica: "Yes. I was prepared to be annoyed with you, but that was droll."

Grandma: "Seriously you gotta get a job so I can have my house back. You people are unbelievably fucked up."

JOKES!

I got one.

Q: "What did Carrie Mathison say when she was getting fucked on her stairs by a random red-headed fellow with a certain military air that she picked up in the wine aisle at Trader Joe's?"
A: "I have jumped off a building, but I remain consciously optimistic."

So far, so good.

MATHISON

Carrie: "Hang on, I gotta Coyote Ugly myself out of this random redhead's grip. It was hard enough trying to keep him from kissing me when we were fucking, I mean I practically had to choke the guy out, hang on... Okay. Hello?"
Dad: "Have you seen the paper yet? There's this CIA officer they're saying was fucking Nick Brody and maybe helped cause the Langley bombing."
Carrie: "Uh."
Dad: "Do you know this girl? She sounds troubled. We should introduce her to your alternative medicine guy."

BRUNCH

Dar Adal: "We are pragmatists, we adapt. We are not keepers of some sacred flame."
Saul: "Doesn't have to be sacred. Just so long as we keep it lit."
Ryan Scott: "We did that! Eye for an eye. Peter Quinn is so fucking dreamy."

Carrie: "Put down those quiches and grab your dicks. This is not gonna go well."
Saul: "Right. So I know it sounds crazy, but in fact the CIA is not leaking this stuff."
Carrie: "Oh, but you are. And I know why, and I know I am not going down without bringing the whole fucking tablecloth with me. I will Carrie Mathison your asses to the wall."
Dar Adal: "Seriously, that's not what this is. We even talked about it and Saul said no."
Carrie: "Uh, says the guy who sent fucking Peter Quinn to kill an asset."
Dar Adal: "Breathe. You are making a huge mistake."
Carrie: "IS THAT A THREAT? ARE YOU TRYING TO INTIMIDATE MY ASS?"

Saul: "Uh oh, she's talking like an old jazz musician. Code Red."

Dar Adal: "Have a tiramisu! Stop embarrassing everybody."
Carrie: "EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP! STOP CALMING ME DOWN! STOP BEING REASONABLE!"
Dar Adal: "Saul, take her home and sit on her until she chills out."
Carrie: "NOBODY IS SITTING ON ME. BRODY WAS YOUR OPERATION, SAUL. YOU PROPOSED IT, YOU SANCTIONED IT, YOU RAN IT, YOU LISTENED TO IT FUCKING IN A QUAINT MOTEL."
Saul: "Are you done?"
Carrie: "FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU SAUL, FUCK YOU DAR ADAL YOU CREEPY REVENANT, FUCK YOU SCOTT RYAN OR RYAN SCOTT, AND TELL PETER QUINN FUCK HIM TOO JUST IN CASE. EVERYBODY ELSE IS DEAD BUT FUCK THEM ALSO FOR THE RECORD. MATHISON OUT."

Dar Adal: "So that went well."
Saul: "She's not wrong, though. Classic counterintelligence, straight from your playbook."
Dar Adal: "Oh, rest assured it is the right thing to do. But I told you I didn't do it. And now we're asking forgiveness anyway."
Saul: "Now I have two problems. I hated my job when I woke up this morning, and now we got Carrie Mathison -- the wildest wildcard to ever card -- right up my ass. How much goodwill do you think Tin Man will actually earn us? Because we're going to need it."

BRODY

Grandma: "Jessica, it would be rad if you would act normal around Dana."
Jessica: "You weren't here. Me being super weird around Dana is what's normal."
Grandma: "I'm just saying, calm down. What's one suicide attempt in the larger scheme of your incredibly fucked-up life? Do you not remember what a huge drama queen you were? And still are as an adult?"
Jessica: "It wasn't just any suicide attempt. It was a classic, well-planned, nearly successful suicide. The doctor said nobody has ever committed suicide that hard."

Dana, listening: "Well done, Dana Brody. Well done indeed."

HEARING

Saul Berenson, once sworn in, reads his statement: "Exactly two months ago, in the worst attack on this nation since 9/11, the men and women of the CIA suffered a terrible blow. Yesterday, we took a decisive step in bringing those responsible to justice. As the President announced from the Oval Office this morning, American air and ground forces, in a series of six coordinated strikes on three separate continents, eliminated the top tier of the terrorist network which perpetrated the bombing at Langley. It was a textbook operation, Mr. Chairman. Meticulously planned, flawlessly executed. I want to congratulate all those involved. As a result of their efforts, there's a little less evil in the world today."

Also, one fewer little boy. But it's a good speech nonetheless.

Lockhart: "Weren't they all civilians?"
Saul: "Uh, insofar as terrorists are pretty much always civilians? The legal term would be enemy combatant."
Lockhart: "My point is that they aren't the people that ordered 12/12, exactly."
Saul: "Are you also the head of the Senate Subcommittee for Shitting On Awesome Things? Or do you have a deeper agenda?"
Lockhart: "It just seems cynical to pull off this amazing endeavor right when America needs it most. I think it's really rude of you to make the CIA look good while I'm trying to make it look bad."
Saul: "As long as your entire purpose here -- which you've now pretty much explicitly said -- is to destroy the CIA, I can understand why this would hurt your feelings."

Lockhart: "Which is why we now turn to reports that a CIA agent went off her..."
Saul: "I don't respond to unsubstantiated rumors."
Lockhart: "I mean, somebody literally blew up the building where you work. Would this not fall under that investigation?"
Saul: "The information is... Flawed. It wasn't entirely a CIA matter, what they're talking about."
Lockhart: "Oh, this sounds good. Sounds like Papa Bear wants to play. Come on, hit me."

Carrie, at home: "Hold up, what? What's happening now?"

Saul: "The case officer in question has a history of erratic behavior. She's unstable. Diagnosed as bipolar. A condition she concealed from her superiors for over ten years."
Carrie: "Mother FUCKER. For real?"

Lockhart: "What else did she conceal from you, Mr. Berenson? Did she conceal that she was sleeping with Congressman Brody?"
Carrie: "Oh my God, do not sell me down that river. I cannot be the dumb woman that takes the fall. I hate when they do this. Saul, be better than this. Do not let them blame the whore, that's not what this is about."
Saul: "It was on my watch, Senator. Whatever happens on my watch, I take full responsibility."
Carrie: "Humiliating, but okay."
Lockhart: "That's not what I asked. Did she conceal from you the fact that she was sleeping with Congressman Brody? Under oath, as you are?"
Saul: "Um. Yes."

Which, true. It doesn't have anything to do with anything, but it does make her "this was your operation" thing a little less grounds for complaint. The problem is that it's not the world that is crushing down on Carrie Mathison, just some bullshit getting between her and a victory. And I think she'll bounce back fairly quickly from that one: "Oh, I'm the scapegoat for an entire agency getting blown up and I'm also the scapegoat for the Agency itself? Guess I'll just sleep less, because that's a bunch of bullshit I didn't need on my To-Do List, which only has four things on it."

But the fact that this question -- Whether Saul and Carrie are fundamentally the same or fundamentally different -- is the thing that broke it, that's the sad part. She lied under oath when the memo got leaked, almost entirely to protect Saul. And then he, under oath, allowed Andrew Lockhart to construct an entire narrative -- as obvious as it is vulgar -- that equates her sexuality with incompetence.

When Heisenberg called Skyler a stupid bitch, you know, obviously it was a callback to five seasons of shitty fedora-wearing viewers saying things about her that were ten times worse. So I have to wonder: If Senator Andrew Lockhart were watching this show, what would he have said about Season Two? Because by forcing this issue -- Carrie is only a good agent when she is a man, because only women are fundamentally crazy -- he's putting the same thing front and center. And if Saul signs onto it, knowing he has other options but with Dar Adal (and one horrible brunch) still ringing in his ears, then yes, she is expendable.

So I don't think it's about shame, I don't think anybody -- except maybe Lockhart -- is actually getting up pitchforks because Carrie's a crazy slut, I think it's that it's such an easy narrative to construct, so easy to swallow, that it's incredibly tempting for this room full of men to let it ride. Some stories are so institutional, so part of the visible spectrum, that it's much harder to counter than to resect or revise them. And of them all, what the first last and always? Eve, the Destroyer.

Did you ever wonder why every big intelligence SNAFU of the last twenty years has a woman at its center? Even when it's a man, it's always the boyfriend of the burnt spy, the General's biographer: Always a horny villainess, or some dumb girl lacking agency, a victim. And Carrie Mathison's the perfect combination of both.

Some stories are harder to tell, some easier. The easiest ones of all just tell themselves.

WEEK

Quinn hopefully gets some clarity on all the stuff he's got going on. Carrie deals with what is after all a fairly massive betrayal, for reasons both easy and hard to explain. Dana presumably sees what life is like now. And Saul's got a lot of explaining to do.

JACOB CLIFTON is a freelance writer and critic based in Austin, Texas. He currently recaps The Good Wife, Homeland, Hostages, Ravenswood, and Masters Of Sex for TWoP. Jacob can be found online at jacobclifton.com, Twitter, and Facebook, as well as a regular column for Tor.com, Geek Love.