Splat!


Episode Report Card DeAnn Welker: D | 10 USERS: D- YOU GRADE IT Splat!

By DeAnn Welker | Season 4 | Episode 19 | Aired on 02.08.2010

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Aldous Huxley is rolling over in his grave, given that his famed title is used to wrap up the worst season in the history of a not-very-good show. Also, do you remember that Chapter Five was called "Redemption"? What did any of this have to do with redemption? Anyway, all of the heroes make at least a brief appearance, although it would have been much better if some hadn't. Sylar and Peter quickly get the better of Replicator Eli (and save Parkman in the process), but then he tries to sabotage their plan to save the world. Yes, he really is that dumb. Finally, he lets them go, but sends Replicator Eli after them. Or something. It wasn't clear, but I'm hoping it becomes clearer on a rewatch. Unfortunately, no one seems to have killed Parkman.

Also not dead? Bennet. Although the show spends a long while building up to that, with Claire and HRG all tearful and saying goodbye. Then Tracy comes through the ground in water form and somehow creates a pool big enough to float them out of the trailer. It doesn't have to make sense anymore, I guess. She doesn't reappear in human form, and HRG knows he owes her one, but first he, Claire, and Lauren have a chopper to New York City to catch. Hiro and Ando spend most of the episode in the hospital, where Hiro gets reacquainted with an old Charlie, since Samuel sent her back to 1944. Hiro wants to go back and bring her back to her rightful time, but she's happy and has redheaded children and grandchildren. So, Hiro also heads to Central Park to help save the world.

At Central Park, Claire speechifies to the heroes as Emma plays and plays. Sylar shows up and saves her from Doyle's puppetry, then HRG, Edgar, and Replicator Eli (Edgar I can see, but Eli? Really?) all reveal the truth about Samuel to the carnies. They all turn on him and run, but can't get away before he starts his earth-shatteringness. Luckily, Peter gets there to steal his power and tries to press down the earth as he pulls it up. They talk about their brothers, and what a pain they were. Actually, Peter pretends his was awesome, but we all remember this show so we know that's revisionist bullshit. Hiro and Ando show up, and using Ando's power to supercharge Hiro's, all the heroes hold hands and teleport out of there. That depletes Samuel's power, so Lauren and HRG call the company in to take him away. At this point, we're in "Chapter Six: Brave New World," which consists of Claire deciding to jump off a ferris wheel for all of the journalists in New York City to see, as Hiro, Ando, Sylar, Peter, Lauren, and HRG look on. Claire stands up and looks at the news cameras. She says her name's Claire Bennet, and this was attempt number ... actually, she's lost count. To be continued... (though I wouldn't count on it).

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Previously: This show was good, and then it sucked. This season, it really, really sucked. Take this for example: The Ambiguously Gay Duo (Sylar and Peter) are locked inside Sylar's nightmare, which is an empty New York City. Peter needed Sylar to wake the eff up and save Emma. Hiro loved Charlie, but Samuel trapped her somewhere in time. Hiro was tried by his father and Adam Monroe, then his mother healed him. Samuel had Damien show Claire her dad's past. She was sad, but didn't turn on her dad, so Samuel locked them in a trailer underground. Then he told Eli they were going to New York to show the world what they really are.

Now: We pick up exactly where we left off. In fact, we relive the entire last scene of the previous episode, in which Claire uses her phone's light long enough to get a look around, and HRG thinks they're buried 40 or 50 feet down. If only we could ignore this whole storyline since it never amounts to anything. But instead, we (and by "we," I mean "I") will have to suffer through it for two-thirds of the episode. When HRG and Claire are yelling "Hello, can anybody hear us?" the camera pans up through the dirt onto Lauren, who's walking around wondering where the hell everyone went, probably. Title card. We also relive the Peter and Sylar basement scene, but this time we also see Parkman rifling through his fridge upstairs. Because, remember? He has been a chef for all of two seconds. He's surrounded by Replicating Elis at the same time our Ambiguously Gay Duo is downstairs.

Parkman asks Replicator Eli if their buddy Samuel is here. How does Parkman know who Replicator Eli is, anyway? I'll have to chalk that up to either lack of continuity or something that happened in the comic books, which I don't read. Replicator Eli tells Parkman his friends downstairs are a problem, so that means he is, too. Downstairs, Replicator Eli gets to say the "love fest" line again. Parkman tries his brain mojo, but Replicator Eli tells him all but one of them are pretty "thoughtless." Actually, I think they all are.

Central Park. Samuel's camp has landed there, and he proselytizes to his people that tonight will be unlike any other, and they will be "king of the hill." He thinks normals should aspire to be like them, not the other way around. He pledges that tonight, once and for all, they'll pull back the curtain and reveal themselves for who they truly are. After tonight, they will be respected. Right, because freaks are so often respected in our society. Everyone cheers, except Edgar, who just looks on. We're not supposed to know how he feels yet, but I'll just tell you that, despite him fleeing from HRG and Lauren, he's still anti-Samuel. We pan out and see the city behind the little carnival stage. Commercials. I am strangely excited for The Celebrity Apprentice.

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