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There's an eclipse and everyone's powers go all wonky. Lots of long-standing emotional issues get dredged up, and the lighting designers get a chance to have some fun with murky shadows being cast all over the place.
Mohinder babbles on and on about the changes that are coming. They are a mystery. That is reassuring. Mohinder's all selfish, and is like "If Claire/the Catalyst dies then I'm stuck as a freak of nature forever." Way to be a team player Mohinder. Though his power is really sticky and disgusting. So I'd want to be rid of it too. He gets all excited that the eclipse made him less scaly, so he decides to go after Maya (NO!), but Papa Petrelli uses his powers of persuasion (aka muscle in the form of Meredith's pissed off brother) to make him stay until he can get everyone's powers back.
Sylar and Elle are all flirty. Sylar wants to prove himself to his father. Aw. So Papa Petrelli pairs them together for a mission to retrieve the cheerleader, because Elle's secretly evil and can manipulate Sylar like nobody's business. Elle totally gets Sylar to embrace his badass self and kill an innocent car rental employee. She gets points for calling HRG, "Glasses Himself." And Sylar gets points for using his eyebrows to display the varying complex emotions going on his head. And they got a bitchin' convertible out of the deal.
Claire's a whiny teen because she doesn't get to do anything while all the other "good guys" have cool missions. So Mama Petrelli relents and sends her and HRG off to the house where vortex man formerly lived. They get all Buffy/Giles as HRG teaches her to control her skills. Elle and Sylar arrive to take Claire, but they soon realize they are powerless. The only one in control is HRG who has a gun, but after a scuffle Elle steals it and shoots Glasses Himself, and of course Claire (now powerless) jumps in and gets a bullet in her shoulder. HRG whisks her off to her house, where mom is all kinds of pissed off and doesn't like that HRG's plan is to stitch her up and take off... like usual. Of course he's after Sylar and Elle, who are still at House of Vortex, smooching and discussing how they can still be badass, even though they are stuck being human. But Sandra's at home and finds out that Claire's got more than a flesh wound, and it's not repairing itself at all.
Nathan goes to find the Haitian with a monkey, er, Peter, on his back. Nathan loses his powers, they fall into the jungle and the alpha male refuses to ask for directions or trust Peter. They fight, as brothers do, bringing up all their old issues. It's almost like the good old days. They meet up with the Haitian, who also doesn't have any powers. The Haitian is out to stop his evil brother who has impenetrable skin (awesome), and Samedi's a real charmer and slugs Nathan with the butt of his gun (at Arthur's command). Peter and the Haitian just hide in the bushes and wait.
Matt, Hiro and Daphne hook up in a storyline, which is annoying since they are my least favorite characters of the moment. Seriously. Hiro doing the "I need to pee-pee on the potty" dance? Stupidest thing of all time. Parkman and Daphne are tasked to find Hiro, but Hiro and Ando (the only one with a brain) find Parkman because they saw it in a comic book. Then Daphne gets all wacky and insecure about her relationship with Matt and heads off to her dreaded home. Matt looks stupid when he tries to use his mind control power on Daphne's dad. Hiro actually makes a point about stepping up and being a hero even without powers, which is the smartest thing he's said in at least two seasons. Hiro and Ando head off to a comic shop and meet up with Seth Green and Breckin Meyer (which is kind of my dream comic shop). Matt finally grows a spine and confesses his love to Daphne, and we find out that without the Speedster skills she is in leg braces and can't walk.
Elsewhere, Tracy and Papa Petrelli plot and plan, but Mama Petrelli catches wind of this scheme. Papa Petrelli sits and draws all sorts of ominous visions of the future. And all the heroes/villains are left hanging to see what happens when the eclipse is over. -- Angel Cohn
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: Arthur did some ADR work to add "I must steal your memory" over Hiro's girly shrieking. Got it, thanks. And speaking of which, I am starting this recap on Thanksgiving. I will leave it to you to decide exactly how ironic that is.
Mohinder babbles as we pan over a bunch of sketches apparently drawn by Arthur, one of which depicts what looks like Bennet holding Claire in his arms. In the drawing, Claire is bleeding from her shoulder, which can only mean she's going to die, in the "logic" of this show. Arthur snaps out of it...
...and in her office, Angela looks at a photograph of her family from a happier time, before turning to the window and looking up at the moon, which is approaching the sun...
...which fades into the shot of the total eclipse from the stupid comic ex machina. Mohinder tells us about "game-changers," like, if only, and Hiro and Ando look at each other like the word "eclipse" wasn't uttered so many times last week as to have lost all meaning. Arthur looks at a drawing of the eclipse too, and YOU DEVOTED AN ENTIRE BORING EPISODE TO TELLING US THAT "IT" IS "COMING"! And the TITLE of this episode is "THE ECLIPSE!" We fucking get it already!
Sylar is still practicing Elle's ability under her supervision, like, he certainly never seemed to have this much trouble with any of the other seventeen thousand powers he's lifted, but this is all so he can urgently tell Elle that he has to prove himself. She asks to whom he needs to do that, and he replies that he's not sure she'd understand, as if she of all people wouldn't get the idea of trying to please a demanding father who's never satisfied, and that he didn't SAY SO IN SO MANY WORDS LAST WEEK with that cheesy, awful line about "we" never being good enough for "them." Elle refrains from pointing this out, instead suggesting he try again, but Arthur interrupts by entering and telling Sylar that he needs him to find Claire and bring her back to him. He unnecessarily asks if Sylar thinks he can do that, which is the cue for Sylar to eagerly and obsequiously assure Arthur that he can. Elle looks chagrined at Sylar's eagerness to toe the line, and then tells Arthur that she's going too. Sylar's unpleasantly surprised, which makes no sense, so Elle pleads her case, saying "they" won't make it easy, and she was raised to be a company girl. Sylar dumbly says he thought she'd left that behind, not that I have any idea what he's basing that on, and Elle replies that it's what she knows. Sylar asks "Dad" if he's okay with this, and Arthur takes twenty years (everything he says is so fucking dramatic, God) to say that he thinks it's a "good pairing." Translation: Like I give a shit. Elle smiles back at Sylar, who looks like he got a lobotomy for Thanksgiving: "Let's go get the cheerleader."
At Primatech, Claire is pedewhining at Angela, who tells her that she has a plan to stop Arthur, but they all have to work together, so she's sent Nathan to find The Haitian (she...can't communicate with him in the field? How do they ever get anything done?) while Matt goes to retrieve Hiro, and Claire keeps her ass from getting caught. Claire protests, but Angela tells her she's staying underground and "off the grid." As they head into Unit 5, Claire asks if Angela's going to lock her up, and Angela gets in a decent one: "Don't think it hasn't crossed my mind." As Claire looks warily at the imprisoned Eric Doyle and Danny Pine, however, Angela says she has another plan. Claire's view swings around to the right, where Bennet is standing: "Hi, Claire-Bear." When that one doesn't get me even a little, you know the show's completely lost it.
Outside Primatech, Nathan tells Peter that he's just going to pop down, get The Haitian, and come right back. Peter, however, tells Nathan that The Haitian went down to nab this guy "Baron Samedi," a Level 5 escapee who's into drug trafficking, kidnapping, and slavery. Well, that doesn't sound so bad. I mean, if you really want to get my attention, you'll have to refer to him as a VILLAIN. Anyway, Nathan wishes his little brother would stop trying to tag along on his date here, but Peter sad-sacks about how he doesn't have a purpose anymore, and moves in close to Nathan for literally no reason, like, do the two of them have oppositely charged particles in their lips? Nathan accedes to Peter's request, resulting in Peter mounting him and them flying away past the sun and the moon. Climbing all over his brother's jock is one purpose of Peter's that doesn't seemed to have abandoned him.
Mohinder is rooting around in the Morlock's corpse, and this scene serves literally no purpose other than to show us that he's still in the throes of the slowest mutation in history...
...and then he's charging into Arthur's office demanding the catalyst and his cure. Arthur, however, shows him the drawing of Claire and says what it depicts is going to come to pass that day. Pointless arguing ("It can't happen!" "It's going to!) leads to Mohinder speculating that THE ECLIPSE might SOMEHOW be responsible, and adds that if Claire dies, there's no hope of him being cured. I'm sure the dead Morlock would be really upset to hear that. Arthur then shows him a drawing of Mohinder encased in webbing, and Mohinder whines that he's going to die. I love having things to look forward to, so if you'd give me a date and time we'd be all set here. Arthur says that everything changes today, and then the two of them have to turn and "dramatically" look out the window at the sun and moon, like, wouldn't it be great if the eclipse stopped people from overacting? Title card.
Matt and Daphne are in Brooklyn, and as Matt looks through Kaito's "homicide file" for Hiro's number (nice organization Primatech is that they can't even supply that), Daphne opines that Hiro is a "spaz," but Matt replies with some unnecessary exposition about how Hiro is a time-traveler and a "walking do-over" (one of the show's biggest problems). Daphne tells Matt that Arthur scares her, and Matt dismissively says she doesn't have to be scared of him, as if he didn't just SNAP YOUR DAD'S NECK like, yesterday. More unnecessary rehash of how Daphne betrayed both Arthur and Matt leads to Daphne spazzing out a bit herself before she asks Matt if he trusts her completely. He hesitates for a tiny moment before assuring her that he does. He adds that he knows her, an assessment with which she disagrees, and then brings up the stupid spirit walk again, and this conversation is going nowhere so it's just as well that there's a loud knock on the door. Wary looks and ominous music ensue, like it's really common for bad guys to give their presence away by KNOCKING, and when Matt opens the door, there are Hiro and Ando. Hiro's literally doing a pee-pee dance as Ando shows him the comic book and says he has to fix Hiro. Matt asks what it says, because this page is in Japanese even though the one before was in English. Ando: "You have to fix Hiro." However much "no comment" there is in the world is how much I need for this moronic scene. Ando explains about how Hiro thinks he's ten, and then gives Daphne a quizzical look before Matt takes pity on Hiro and points him to the bathroom. I'm kind of surprised they didn't make James Kyson Lee ask, "Why didn't you go before we left?" I mean, it's hard to believe they'll draw the line anywhere at this point, you know?
So for no reason other than to reuse a set, I guess, Bennet has taken Claire to Vortex Guy's house, like, what happened to keeping her underground like Angela said? Bennet "explains" that the house has a simple setup and is "controllable," which is the clunky bridge to Claire snitting how she knows he likes to control things. He tells her he wants to keep her safe -- her, not the catalyst. Claire overacts the answering disdain, and God, her acting's gone down the shitter this season. One of my friends suggested that she and Ventimiglia are running lines together these days. It would certainly explain a lot.
Matt's doing his Mind Reading Head Tilt as he tries to read Hiro's thoughts, but they're all in Japanese, so he's flummoxed. Of course, he could repeat them to Ando and get them translated, but really, I don't see why he's bothering anyway -- he's got to undo the damage Arthur did, and hearing whatever dumb ten-year-old thing is going on in what passes for Hiro's brain doesn't seem like it would help. Daphne, with amusing curiosity, asks Ando, "Aren't you dead?" Ando, equally amusingly, calls her "nemesis," but she tells him she's a good guy now. Matt comes over and confesses his failure, and Daphne freaks about how Hiro is their only hope, as if she wasn't ready to bail on his stupid ass not five minutes ago. Matt says that despite his mental age, he can still use his powers (dubious, but I went over that last time). They turn and watch in horror as Hiro plays some nodding game with the turtle, continuing to insult ten-year-olds everywhere, and then Daphne decides to suddenly get all het up about how Matt paused for like a nanosecond before telling her he trusted her, which is ages to a speedster like her (that makes no sense, but whatever) and going on that he doesn't know her and what she's been through. He's finally had enough of her silly yo-yoing this episode, and gets in her head long enough to learn that her hometown is Lawrence, Kansas (Supernatural shout-out!). She then superzips out of there, and I am so embarrassed for Masi Oka when he has to squeal "Do it again! Do it again!" in Japanese. Man, this show is grim.
Sylar, again with the sudden extreme deference, tells Arthur (calling him "sir," once more) that "it" will all be taken care of. He then enters a rental-car place, in which Elle is waiting. She asks who was on the phone, and he tells her Arthur, and adds that Arthur thinks that Claire is with her father. Elle amusingly "uch"s this news, and says he's not going to make this any easier, but Sylar disagrees -- he knows how Bennet thinks and where he'll hide her. God, what a load of crap. I mean, I know Sylar "understands" things, but he hung out with Bennet for all of ten minutes, and why would he assume that Bennet would take Claire to one of the few places he actually knows about? Furthermore, WHY DID HE? Anyway, Elle makes just a little sense when she tells Sylar she's worried about him, with all the deference and the checking in and whatever, and then tells him that the counter guy is calling the police, as she told him Sylar was a serial killer and he kidnapped her. Sylar's understandably confused about this one, so Elle tells him it was wrong of The Company to hide their abilities, and they can do whatever they want. So after their whole stupid empathetic connections of the last two weeks, she's back to being both a loose cannon and a sociopath? Sylar tries to drag her out of there, but the counter guy appears with a shotgun, and Elle damsel-in-distresses it up until Sylar disgustedly lets her go. He politely asks the guy to put the gun down, but Elle, from behind the clerk, tells Sylar that everyone is trying to make him into something he's not, like, DID THE GUY SUDDENLY GO DEAF? Seriously, WTF? Instead, the guy says that he should just kill Sylar, and that would make him famous. "A bona fide hero." He clocks Sylar in the face with the butt of the gun, but Sylar recovers, and the guy watches in sudden fear as the cut from the impact of the gun heals before his eyes. Sylar grits, "I hate Heroes," and at this point, you'd be hard pressed to find dissenting opinions, I think.
The moon is now obscuring a little of the sun, and Mohinder babbles into his tape recorder about the sun and the moon, and that "something" is happening to him, like, you'd think the scientist might have some fucking idea of what that is when it started in the first episode of the season. He then seems shocked -- SHOCKED! -- at the webbing all over his hands, like he didn't have an entire wall of cocoons in his stupid lab episodes ago. Forget being a scientist -- how does he remember to breathe all the time?
Bennet breaks off a board from the vortex-damaged floor and tosses it to Claire, telling her to hit him with it. She snits that this must be how he's going to get over his guilt, and adds that she's been just fine without him. She then brings up Doyle, but he points out the obvious facts that (a) she got lucky, and (b) she almost got Sandra killed, so that "success" is hardly anything to be crowing about. He goes on that she's acting "like a girl who can't get hurt, stupid and careless," and they go back and forth for a bit until she turns away and Bennet tells her again to hit him. After a moment, she swings the board at him, but he easily catches it and pulls her in, holding her fast by pressing the board up against her neck. He tells her that she's strong, but also clumsy, slow, and obvious, to which Claire does not reply, "But I'm a cheerleader!" Too bad -- that would have given me my first real laugh here. He counsels her to get her body weight into it, and when he tells her to give it another shot, she disbelievingly asks if he's teaching her tae kwon do." Bennet: "No. It's baseball." I will give him that one. Nice.
Tracy's in Angela's office (she... popped down there when? And is hanging out in there why?) telling Arthur via telephone that Nathan has flipped the script and is going after The Haitian. Arthur opines that them getting The Haitian is smart, and he can't allow Nathan to succeed, as if Nathan is the problem in the equation -- shouldn't Arthur's first target have been not painters but people who can actually, you know, suppress his abilities? Tracy worriedly opines that he won't hurt Nathan, but Arthur says it's time for him to see the world as it is, whatever the shit that means. From here, Tracy says something dumb, Arthur laughs in her face and tells her to go to "Paris Island," she tells him she doesn't take orders from him, he laughs in her face again, she lets us know that there's a Marine training facility on Paris Island, and Arthur tells her, "Every war needs an army." Just then, Tracy realizes that Angela is standing in the doorway, so she disconnects with some bullshit about Washington, saying there's no rest for the wicked. Angela: "Obviously not." Okay, but if you know she's against you, why are you, you know, LETTING HER LEAVE?
Matt and Ando have a pointless argument until Hiro holds up the stupid comic, apparently recognizing them say "Lawrence, Kansas," so because he read that in Japanese he knows what it sounds like in English? I may have to start drinking here. I think I've shown admirable restraint up to this point. Anyway, Hiro pops them all out of there...
...and they appear in a cornfield. Matt quickly spies Daphne's house, and confirms through his power that she's inside, so the three of them go running toward it, but before they get there, Ando stops them, and they all look up to see the eclipse getting closer to its total status. By the way, no one's pointed out that a fricking total eclipse would have been predicted by not only magic comic books and people with second sight, but, you know, ALMANACS. GOD. Also, looking straight at an eclipse is a great way to go blind, and it would serve everyone right on this show, I tell you what.
In frustration, Arthur pushes his stupid drawings off his desk, and if he's so impatient why hasn't he gone after Claire himself instead of sending inconsistently-written lackeys to do the job for him? We see the Mohinder drawing again...
...and in the lab, it's come to pass, as Mohinder's cocooned himself up against the wall. Hell of a power you got for yourself, dude.
At Primatech, Angela again looks at the picture of her family...
...and then, Arthur's drawing of Peter and Nathan changes into the real-life version, as the two of them suddenly fall out of the sky. Of course, that wasn't necessarily the eclipse, given that they're going after a guy who dampens powers, like, GOOD IDEA TO FLY RIGHT TO HIM.
A drawing of Sylar kissing Elle fades to Sylar stowing the rental guy's corpse in the trunk of one of his cars before getting into a convertible with the waiting Elle. I suppose he'll be crying about how he's a monster in about three seconds, given how many random about-faces these characters are making.
Claire takes one swing with the board, which doesn't really merit dramatic music, a slow camera pan, or really, a scene, but that's never stopped this show before. We then see the shot of her bleeding all over her dad's suit again. Bennet, I sense high dry cleaning bills in your future. Ooh, is Arthur going to come kill me now?
Mohinder's eyes suddenly snap open, and now that he has no special strength of course It makes sense that he could rip the webbing off like tissue paper, and seriously, how awful has this show gotten? He slides to the floor, naked and covered in goo like a baby, and looks in the mirror to see that the scales are gone from his body.
In Haiti (interesting eclipse that looks the same all over the U.S. and Haiti) Nathan and Peter recover from their fall, and Nathan tells Peter that his power is gone. Peter asks if there wasn't an eclipse the first day he flew, and Nathan says there was, and I think that was on a different show called "Ass," because it certainly didn't happen in Season One of Heroes. ["Especially since they JUST showed us again a mere two episodes ago that Nathan's powers appeared when he he escaped the car accident with Heidi, which was not the same day as the eclipse." -- Angel] Anyway, Peter thinks there might be a connection, which Nathan doesn't agree with for no reason other than that his powers didn't actually manifest from the eclipse, and he continues to be a dick when Peter tries to point them in the direction of The Haitian's village, as he studied the map, going another way instead and saying he saw it with his own eyes before they fell. Peter tries to get him at least to discuss the choice, but Nathan persists in going his own way, and Peter has no choice but to follow, given that not touching his brother for any length of time will cause him to experience withdrawal symptoms that would give a heroin recoveree the cold chills to see.
As Hiro and Ando watch eagerly from off to the side, Matt knocks on Daphne's door. A no-nonsense older man answers the door and informs Matt that Daphne isn't there. Convinced that that's not true, even though for all he knows she could have zipped out in the last couple minutes and been halfway to China by now, he calls in to her directly, and she responds by telling him to go away. Matt then tries to use his mind mojo on the dad, using his Intense Stare With Head to the Side, but it of course doesn't work, and after the second attempt, the dad bemusedly asks, "Why are you turning your head sideways?" Ha! That one actually made me laugh. Hopefully Matt will remember that question once the eclipse is over. Daphne's dad then withdraws, and after Matt tells Hiro and Ando what happened, Hiro does a power check and comes up empty as well...
...and inside, Daphne's sitting morosely on her bed as her dad comes in and asks if he's going to tell her who that was. The answer is no, and when he pointedly asks if she's feeling okay, she tells him, "It's happening again." He winces and says he's sorry, and when she asks if he still has "them," says yes, and goes off to get The Big Secret, like, unless he's going to get the multiple crack babies that the two of them made together, I don't think all this buildup is warranted.
It takes Nathan almost falling over a cliff for him to realize they've been going the wrong way, but, like older brothers everywhere, he refuses to admit he was wrong or to apologize to his younger sibling, so Peter yells, "You've got to stop treating me like your idiot kid brother!" And while Nathan's being a jerk, I have to admit that Peter's asking a lot here. Peter goes on that if he hadn't come, Nathan would be lost and alone, but Nathan whirls and points out that without Peter on his back, he probably would have made it home already. "I only brought you here to protect your fragile ego." And for a couple hours of quality touching, but we already know they don't talk about that. Nathan barks that he's been saving Peter's ass his whole life, and while the two examples he gives to back up that claim are valid, they're from the run of the show, so it might have been more effective to throw in the time Peter accidentally set his bangs on fire and Nathan had to throw himself on top of them to put them out. When Nathan finishes that Peter needs to earn his respect, though, Peter lashes out: "Why would I want your respect? You're a puppet!" Oh, snap! Peter actually made me pay attention! Nathan does not like this also very valid point, and even brings up Peter being a nurse, which (a) is cheap and beneath him, and (b) doesn't exactly differentiate him from his father, which gives Peter ammunition to go on that Nathan has only ever lived out their father's dreams, and has no spine. I would have stayed away from the word "spine" after what happened to Heidi, but this scene is the first one of the entire episode that's written believably and sharply enough to be engaging. He concludes this outburst by telling Nathan that their father has always been able to manipulate him, and Nathan replies by asking where all this is coming from. It sounds like it's coming from, like, you know, the truth, but I suppose Nathan's point is that they usually get along, and this is deeper stuff than Peter would normally say, so Peter has to tell him that in the future, Nathan chooses Arthur's side. Of course, Peter doesn't add that in that future, he slices his brother's head off, but I suppose he doesn't want to relinquish the upper hand here. Nathan understandably has had just about enough of all this future bullshit, and points out that he's there, now, trying to stop Arthur, and it would be nice if Peter would help him. He punctuates this statement by turning... and running right into The Haitian. (Just as well they didn't have to ask anyone where he was -- trying to find someone called "The Haitian" in Haiti sounds beyond the powers of even smart people.) The Haitian puts a finger up to his lips, as you might expect.
Claire's just about exhausted herself flailing around with those wooden planks, but when Bennet offers her another shot at him, she reluctantly gives it a go. She whiffs it, though, and he asks what she's thinking, so she woodenly (sorry) tells him that every time he'd come home from a trip, she'd hold him tight so he wouldn't leave her again. With her anger on high, she succeeds in knocking out one of his legs from under him and taking advantage to hold the splintered end right in his face as she yells, "Why? Do you always? LEAVE!" Well, this might have something to do with it. She tosses the board aside and says she's going to get some air, but as he follows to try to talk to her, Elle opens the front door and sassily greets them with, "Hey, girls!" She tries to zap them, but her face falls when nothing happens. Of course, I don't know why she's trying a frontal assault on Claire when she's proven immune to her powers now -- they should have sent Sylar in first, as he (a) could hold Claire in place and (b) as far as they know, could take a gunshot, so this is dumb. Anyway, Elle asks if Bennet has The Haitian there, like suddenly they're just having a chat, and he draws his gun as he says no, it's just him, but she's not getting Claire. The camera spins, however, to reveal Sylar to him: "Funny story. We are." That's not so much a "funny story" as a "silly line," but let's forget the shoddy dialogue and get to the fighting. Sylar tries a funny little flick of his finger (unlike his normal deliberate air cut) but nothing happens, and Bennet takes the time to send Claire falling to the floor in an effort to protect her before getting into the hand-to-hand with Sylar. Unfortunately, although I think Bennet by now has figured out that no one has powers at the moment, which was his incentive to protect Claire, that little delay allowed Sylar to get enough of a jump on him to knock the gun out of his hand, so while Bennet and Sylar are fighting, Elle picks up the weapon. So again: She's a killer now? And Sylar is too? For no reason? Great. Anyway, Bennet gets the best of Sylar, bashing his head into the wall a couple times before dislocating his shoulder, but Elle is making to shoot him, so Claire does what she normally does -- she runs in and takes the bullet. Bennet then viciously whacks Elle in the face, knocking her out, and as Sylar writhes in pain, Bennet picks Claire up. Now, I think this fight scene was very tense and well-done, and the stakes were through the roof because no one is immortal anymore, but I have to say, I would think Bennet would take the ten extra seconds it would take to kill Sylar here. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and despite his concern for Claire, the combination of his stated overwhelming desire to kill Sylar combined with the S.O.P. of not leaving an enemy at your back makes it difficult to believe he'd pass up his shot here. And to illustrate my point, Sylar crawls over and grabs the gun as Bennet is heading for the door, but Bennet manages to get out in time, despite all the slo-mo working against him.
Bennet rushes into his house calling for Sandra like it's a triage and she's Florence Nightingale, and plops the groaning Claire onto the couch as he tells his wife that her ability isn't working. Sandra wants to get Claire to a hospital like, ten minutes ago, but Bennet kiboshes that, saying that her gunshot wound will be reported to the police, and questions will be asked. He adds that if her power comes back, it'll be difficult to explain the sudden "Ta-daa!" of her wound healing, and besides, it's a surface deal and they can handle it. Sandra resignedly says she'll get the first-aid kit, and it's too bad Meredith's not still around -- she could cauterize the hell out of that shit. When Sandra's gone, Claire allows that maybe Bennet was right -- her invulnerability made her stupid and careless. She smiles and winces at the same time: "It hurts. I never thought I'd be able to hurt again. It sucks, but it's wonderful." Bennet smiles tenderly as he strokes her hair and thanks her for saving his life. Claire smiles: "Any time." Aw! Claire's bugged this season, but I liked that scene.
We're back in the cornfield, and after some useless babbling, it's actually Hiro who basically takes Matt by the shoulders and shakes him, telling him he has to save Daphne without his powers, which is part of the "Hero's Quest." When Matt whines that he can't, Hiro starts throwing ear after ear of corn at him until he finally grabs one out of the air without looking. Hiro crows that Matt did it, but when Matt steps toward him, he bows his head and asks, "Please don't hurt me." Heh. Matt, however, has gotten the point of Hiro's maize-heavy lesson, and strides off to "save Daphne." Maybe he'll throw vegetables at her until she can walk (SPOILER!). Once Matt's gone, Hiro tells Ando that they're going to get their abilities back, which is great, since he already has his and Ando never had any. Considering where they're heading, though, I'll allow it.
Soon after, Hiro and Ando are walking down the road, and Hiro explains that he learned that stuff about the corn and the quest at "Saturday Samurai Matinee Showdown." Glad that served you well. Ando laments that they've come to the end of the comic book, but lest you think the device was only a one-time cheap cop-out, Hiro says they can get the issue at a "place where the wise men gather." He mentions as examples the Oracle at Delphi and the Library at Alexandria, but don't get your hopes up for it to be anything that another comic-book shop.
Fucking Mohinder makes a stupid entry about how all his abilities have disappeared, and offers that "further study is warranted." I'll take the con position. He says, however, that he's got something else to do, and pulls up Maya's picture on the computer OH MY GOD NO. I mean, at this point I'd trade him for her, but the two of them together is just grim death. Anyway, Mohinder's barely gotten his jacket on before Arthur and Flint enter, and Arthur tells Mohinder he's not going anywhere, as he has to get people's abilities back. Might I suggest WAITING UNTIL THE FUCKING ECLIPSE IS OVER AND SEEING IF THEY RETURN OF THEIR OWN ACCORD? Mohinder says the effects of the eclipse might be irreversible, which certainly seems possible, but Arthur deems that "unacceptable," prompting Flint to grab Mohinder and shove his face up against the glass and corn-pone that without abilities, he's nobody, and that will not work for him. Fine, Flint, but when everyone gets their abilities back, you may find yourself wrapped in more webbing that they used in the entirety of the Spider-Man series.
Hiro and Ando enter "Sam's Comics" (Supernatural, again, I suppose) and run into the proprietors of the place -- Seth Green (he's Sam) and Breckin Meyer. I will geek out as much as anyone over this stunt-cast, especially since they apparently asked to be on the show because they love it so much. Of course, these things are negotiated waaaaay in advance. Anyway, the tableau is depicted on the cover of the new issue, so it looks like they've come to the right place. Not that I wouldn't have stayed and hung out anyway, were I Hiro and Ando. In fact, if the whole purpose of the stupid comic was to get to this moment, I recant my earlier objections, because, as Breckin Meyer puts it: "Dude, this is so awesome!"
In Haiti, The Haitian is leading the Petrelli brothers apace, and Nathan asks, "Is he always this quiet?" Heh. Nathan gets The Haitian's attention by telling him that Arthur's alive, and goes on that he's one of the only people who can stop him, so if he'd take the "juju" off him, they can all fly out of there. The Haitian informs him that he's not doing anything, as his ability is gone as well. Speaking of which, can The Haitian turn his power off? We'll save that question for another time, as The Haitian resumes his march, but Nathan looks up to see that the eclipse is now almost total. He then walks and says if he could only use a phone, he could call the military and get things sorted out, because everyone knows our troops are all sitting around with nothing to do these days. The Haitian says he's not going anywhere until he stops Samedi, who's his brother, doncha know. He says he's responsible for his brother's evil, and his skin is impenetrable. Also, he's got his own private army that he's used to bring terror to the region, and he put him away once, but the implication is that he's going to kill him this time. Peter offers his help in gratitude for The Haitian's hand in stopping Arthur the first time, and when Nathan objects, Peter takes him "aside" and tells him that the only way they'll get him back is to help him with the situation with his brother. "If you're not going to do this for the right reasons, at least do them for the selfish ones." Sanctimonious and self-serving in the same sentence. At least one of Peter's powers stuck around. Anyway, all this is interrupted by sudden machine-gunshots, and the three of them run for their lives. Unfortunately, U.S. Senator or not, Nathan is not quite as spry as the other two, and quickly gets taken. He tries to tell the soldiers in French who he is, but Samedi appears and tells him in English that they know his exact identity, as his father warned him he'd be coming. Nathan swallows in fear and asks what Arthur told him, and Samedi's response is to crack Nathan across the jaw with the butt of his rifle. "He told me to be myself." After seeing the result, you can't really argue with that suggestion. The soldiers drag the unconscious Nathan away...
...while nearby, Peter and The Haitian crouch low. Peter starts to head after his brother, but The Haitian holds him back, and Peter's tasked with the seven hundredth iteration of a character "dramatically" looking up at the sky before we go to the last commercial break.
Oh, Lord, Bennet has his glasses off as he asks Claire, who's lying groggily in her bed, if she's feeling okay. Claire smiles: "Pretty good, all things considered." He assures her they'll figure out what's happening to her, but for now, she just needs to rest, and tells her he'll be right downstairs. However, after he kisses her forehead, he puts his glasses back on, and from the evil swish on the soundtrack, we're meant to know that he's NOT going to be downstairs, as he assured Claire, but he is LEAVING again on COMPANY BUSINESS. It seems like a minor thing, but there was no reason for him to have had the glasses off in the first place, and between that and the stupid audio cue, this scene has the subtlety of an elephant on PCP. Unless maybe it's actually the glasses that make him evil! Like if he gets laser surgery, he'll be happy to sell paper and go watch his daughter cheer on the weekends! Look into it, Bennet! It's super-affordable and can make you stop being evil!
In the hall, Sandra sees that his EVIL glasses are on, so she divines that he's leaving. He tells her, "There's something I need to finish." Something with eyebrows like the jungle, I have a feeling.
Oh, dear. From the cornfield, Matt sees Daphne's dad drive off, although he's not even out the driveway when Matt comes lumbering onto the porch, like, nice stealth skills you learned in the police academy, Matt. Daphne tells him with a complete lack of affect to go away, but he opines through the door that she's smart, beautiful, and funny, and even if the spirit walk was bullshit, he loves her. She then tells him the door's open, like how would she know, and he enters... and she stumbles out wearing these huge leg braces and crutches hooked onto her arms. This was the big secret? I mean, I don't mean to belittle her condition, but it seemed like Arthur had something bad on her that she'd actually done, you know? This is just not that interesting, to be frank -- it would have been more intriguing if she were making the choice to atone for something she'd done, not to mention less maudlin, because they're presenting her as such a victim in this reveal, as illustrated by the way Matt looks at her for a thousand years without saying anything. Must feel like a million to a speedster like her.
Sandra brings a tray in for Claire, but drops it in horror when she sees her, like, do people outside of TV actually do that? Especially in this economy? The reason, anyway, is that Claire is bleeding all over, unconscious, and not looking well...
...but at least she's not squealing like a pussy, which is what Sylar is doing, and Elle tells him so in so many words before finally managing to pop his shoulder back into place. The whiplash of her character notwithstanding, Bell makes her really enjoyable. Sylar pants and groans for a while but at least thanks her, and then checks on his powers, which are of course still gone. He goes and picks the gun up as Elle worriedly asks what's happening to them, and Sylar says he doesn't know, unnecessarily and annoyingly adding that he used to understand everything, but nothing makes sense anymore. What complete bullshit, especially since it took you until this season even to be aware of the stupid hunger that apparently makes you tick. Sylar says they're just human now, and Elle disbelievingly asks if he's okay with that. He says it's actually a relief, as the need to have power is "so numbing," He says he hasn't felt like this since his time with her that they made up two weeks ago, and she rehashes the retcon as she tells him with pain in her voice that it was her fault that he became that monster, as if she didn't gleefully get him to commit murder in this very episode OH MY GOD are they trying to drive me crazy? Anyway, the writing here is giving me the appropriate and very real sensation of being in a Tilt-a-Whirl, so rather than vomit on my computer I'll just tell you that the drawing of Sylar kissing Elle comes to pass. And that's not the only thing that's passing around here. Suddenly, the camera darts back, and we're watching them make out through the sights of the gun that Bennet has trained on them. And I love both those actors, as I've made clear, but if Bennet doesn't kill at least one of them it's going to be another in a long season of cop-outs. We'll find out week.
John Ramos is a writer and producer living in Los Angeles. You can reach him at couchbaron@gmail.com.
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