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It's four months after the Peter and Nathan Extravaganza!, and nothing much has changed. Except for the fact that Mohinder and Matt are hoarding Molly back at Mohinder's place, the Bennets have relocated to some terrifying California town south of Hell Mouth, Hiro is stuck back in 1671 with Takezo Kensei, and Nathan Petrelli is a goddamned drunk. I knew there was something I liked about him!
At any rate, this season opener has a LOT to tell us, namely that Mohinder and Matt are keeping Molly safe back at Mohinder's apartment and that Mohinder is actively trying to get into the OWI, at the behest of Mr. Bennet (or should I say Noah?), in order to bring the OWI down.
Mr. Bennet, meanwhile, is trying to install his family in a new town and it's not going all that well. Claire is in a new high school and she's having a tough time of it; she's trying to not be extraordinary, but seeing as she can regenerate bones after she breaks them, this is proving to be difficult for her. Also, she's met a hot boy who has a James Dean air about him and can also…walk and fly on air. Claire only knows that he's hot and revolutionary; she doesn't know about the air-flying and shit. Because if she did, she might not be calling her drunk-ass father Nathan to commiserate over their dead relative, Peter.
Speaking of Nathan, he's grown a full-on Che Guevara beard in an effort to make us think he's a lot less hot than he really is. Also, he's a full-on drunk and, you know, NOT DEAD. His mother, however, might soon be dead, considering that she's found a picture of herself with the "S" symbol scrawled on it in red pen. Kaito Nakamura, Hiro's father, has also come across this "S" symbol scrawled across his own face. Considering that a hooded figure shoves Kaito off the Deveaux Rooftop to his death, I'd say that anyone finding this symbol scrawled across their visages should, you know, get the hell out of town.
Kaito's son, Hiro, is back in 1671, meeting up with his personal hero, Takezo Kensei. Unfortunately, his hero turns out to be a jump-ship expatriate from England who became a sword-for-hire in Japan. And Hiro realizes that by accidentally saving Takezo on the battlefield, he's fucked the whole Takezo mythology, and might now have to right it himself, including, but not limited to, possibly romancing some guy's daughter.
Meanwhile, two new Heroes show up in the form of Maya and Alejandro, a sister and brother just trying to make it across the border to New York to talk to the doctor who wrote that book about odd genetic-type people. When their transport goes wrong and the truck that was supposed to carry them into the free world winds up full of people with blood streaming out of their eyes, we realize that Maya and Alejandro might just not be your average immigrants.
The whole thing ends up in Cork, Ireland (doesn't it always?), with a bunch of mercenaries after a stock of iPods hoarded down on the docks. They crack open the container that's supposed to hold their motherlode, but instead come upon one Peter Petrelli, who's chained to the side of the thing and has no fucking clue who he is. When one of the guys moves toward him, Peter shoots a bolt of electricity at him and knocks him on his ass. As the episode comes to a close, Peter verbally insists that he has no goddamned idea who he is.
Y'all? Heroes is BACK. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Welcome back, everyone! It's a new season of our favoritest show ever! Let's cross our fingers and hope that Tim Kring listened to us and shit-canned the annoying-as-hell Moyawnder voiceovers!
...GODDAMMIT, KRING.
For real -- again with the voice-over? I mean, yeah, it leads us through the previouslys, which are really more like futurelys, considering that we get glimpses of stories and characters that, unless I was suffering from a blackout phase during last season (wait...did I?), haven't made an appearance yet, but this is like my least favorite thing about the show, which is saying a lot, because, hi, I love this show more than my brand-new HDTV, so could we just...stop having it? Please? Kring? Are you listening?
Uch. Whatevs. Moyawnder tells us that a sun rises on a new dawn and that no one really knows how close they came to going "boom" and how we owe the Heroes a debt of gratitude, only we have no idea who any of them are. You know, because they're all closeted Heroes and shit. We catch glimpses of the end of the last episode, with Peter almost blowing up and Nathan flying him up into the sky, interspersed with character-establishing shots of all the Heroes. It becomes clear that Mohinder is giving a speech somewhere, maybe in front of a classroom or something, and that the contents of this speech contain mentions of saving us from ourselves and evolution and special people. Yeah, I'm not really paying attention.
Then we fast-forward to the future, with some scenes that I'm fairly certain we haven't seen yet; like Claire wondering aloud what will happen if she's discovered, Molly asking Mohinder when "they" will stop, Sylar talking about how "she" is a shiny new toy, Bennet smacking the shit outta someone, and a couple of new Heroes we have yet to meet. Moyawnder says that these people are all bound together in the common reality that they're all extraordinary. It's probably important to note that Sylar and Nathan both make appearances in this flash-forward segment, so obviously, neither of them is dead. Peter doesn't show up, but he's too busy getting his hair cut and having his shirt ripped off so that someone can chain him to the inside of a train container car.
But I see I've said too much. Moving on.
Then we're back with Mohinder Live, giving his ludicrous speech about people who can teleport and regenerate and all that crap that's bound to get him dubbed Crazy Suresh at some point. He says that he's seen all these abilities with his own eyes, as several people in his audience roll their eyes and mentally note to call the guys with the straitjackets once they get outside of Suresh's hearing.
Once we get the chyron for the title of the episode, we leave the voice-over behind for the duration of the episode (BUT SADLY NOT FOREVER, I'M SURE) and catch up with Mohinder as he's coming to the conclusion of his Whack-Ass Crazy Speech for People Who Believe in UFOs and the Easter Bunny. He claims that the same people who have these superpowers have somehow contracted a disease as well; a virus that actually stops their powers from working and eventually leads to their death. He believes there's a plague that effects only the superpowered people and if they're eradicated by it, our species will be deprived of its evolutionary advancement.
Just then, Stephen Tobolowsky enters the room, and we see that this isn't a classroom, but a meeting room of sorts. You know, the kind with a big-ass coffee urn in the corner and the smell of day-old fish in the air. Stephen Tobolowsky is clearly up to no good because he's, well, Stephen Tobolowsky. Mohinder notices him right away. Well, seeing as there are only like ten people attending this Whack-Ass Crazy Speech for People Who Believe in UFOs and the Easter Bunny, he's kind of not really hard to miss, you know? Mohinder winds it up by declaring that without evolution, the challenges that are coming our way, like global warming and nuclear war, will decimate us because, you know, we won't have any special Heroes around to help us, right? He urges everyone in the room to take up the cause and fight for what they believe in. Only problem is, no one in the room believes in superpowered humans. We know this by the deafening silence greeting Mohinder when he finishes talking.
Stephen Tobolowsky catches up with Mohinder as he's leaving and asks for an autograph on his father's book. He says that Papa Suresh would have been proud of him...as would his sister. If she were alive, that is. Mohinder goes apeshit and throws Stephen Tobolowsky up against the wall and demands to know why Stephen Tobolowsky's been tailing him to all of his poorly attended speeches. Turns out, Stephen Tobolowsky just wants to offer Mohinder a job with The Company. Mohinder's not interested. Stephen Tobolowsky tries to sway him with the statement that nobody believes the whole superhero idea, so if he really wants to save the world, he's going to have to have some help. Stephen Tobolowsky then invites him for a drink, because successful coercion to the dark side really requires whiskey.
Now it's time to meet some of our new Heroes. Maya and Alejandro are Hondurans who seem to be on the run from the law. They're carrying satchels and running like hell through the rural streets of San Cristobal. Why they're running, we don't know, but I'll be it has something to do with someone's odd ability to make people bleed out their eyeballs... They manage to evade their pursuers by hiding in an abandoned building. Alejandro wants to keep running, but Maya's tired. She says that if they get caught, people will die. He tells her that if they don't keep running to America, people will probably die anyway, so they might as well go to America and get some answers as to what they are. We see a "Wanted" poster tacked to a wall that tells us the sibiings are wanted for murder.
Cut to Claire and Noah (!) Bennet, checking into a new school. Claire's worried that she's not going to fit in because she can re-grow her bones and all. Her father tries to assure her that she'll make plenty of friends because she's awesome and teenagers in California are no different than teenagers in Texas. Except for the supermodel who passes them and makes Noah wonder if statutory rape laws apply in L.A. the same way they do back in the Lone Star state. Bennet tells Claire that she has to keep her stories straight now that she's a fugitive. He warns her that she has to be less than ordinary, even though she's extraordinary. "Right," she says. "Don't stand out in any way." "Don't raise your hand in class," he says. "And don't even think about trying out for cheerleading." He wants her to blend in and try to appear normal.
They get to their car and Claire makes some ballsy statement about how she'd fit in better if she had her own car. Especially this nice product-placed Chrysler Rogue that just happens to be parked to them. He surprises her by handing her the keys right there in the parking lot, because nothing says "inconspicuous" like a father giving his daughter a new car right in front of her school. The bell rings and Claire goes to leave, but Bennet stops her and says how sorry he is for all he's put her through and how much he loves her. She immediately goes to him and they have a nice big hug. The second bell rings and Claire runs off. Unfortunately, she runs right in front of a total hottie's car. He gives her a "What the hell is your problem, bitch?" look and she shrugs and apologizes and Bennet watches all of this like, "What'd I SAY about being un-extraordinary?" ["Also, the hottie in question is Larry Fouch from Election, and if he turned Mr. McAllister in, he'll do it to you too." -- Sars]
Meanwhile, Hiro's landed face down in the middle of the past. He's out in a field somewhere. He looks around and sees a whole regiment of samurai about to shoot him with arrows. He starts to run away, but then sees a lone warrior across the way, challenging the army. Hiro says something like "shit" in Japanese, and we get a chyron informing us that he's outside of Kyoto, Japan in the year 1671. An eclipse is occurring in the sky and Hiro says, "Not again!" The eclipse doesn't deter the army from shooting their arrows at Hiro anyway. He stops time and the arrows freeze and he gingerly pushes one away from his head and says, "The past is not a very safe place." And then he makes this hilarious cringing face and walks away like he's done nothing more unusual than plucking a tissue out of the box. He runs over to the lone warrior, who's about to be shot by arrows as well, and notices that the guy is flying the banner of Takezo Kensei, his hero. Due to this fact, and the fact that Hiro just loves changing the arc of time on a whim, Hiro decides to save Takezo by whisking him off to somewhere else in the immediate vicinity.
Oh, please. We're STILL on Matt Parkman? I thought he got shot in the last episode. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I love Greg Grunberg, but his character's storyline doesn't interest me AT ALL. Not even now that he's gotten kind of buff and is all bad-ass with a gun at the beginning of this scene. I'm going to cut to the chase here and say that we're supposed to think Matt's on a bust in a trashy apartment building, but really, he's just on a training exercise. A training exercise he totally cheats at when it's time to decide who's a hostage and who's not. He listens in on the thoughts of the cops pretending to be shooter and the shootee, picks the right person, and brings the exercise to a crashing end.
Matt's chief comes in and asks how Matt knew which one was the bad guy and Matt blathers something about looking him in the eye and the chief is all, "Yeah, personally? I woulda picked the guy with the gun beneath his shirt." Well, YEAH. But I'm certainly hoping that this exercise wasn't that pedestrian, chief. Even I know that the bad guy is the one with the gun! The chief tells Matt that he's on the team -- he's officially part of the NYPD.
Back with Claire, she's in science class, looking on with envy as a hot cheerleader takes a seat up ahead. To staunch her feelings of inadequacy, Claire does what any teenager would do: she holds her hand over the Bunsen burner flame until her flesh starts bubbling. She's prevented from burning a hole clean through her hand by Hottie McDriverton from earlier in the day. He asks her if she has a death wish and she says she was just seeing how hot the flame is. He snarkily reminds her that it's a flame, so he's pretty sure it's hot, and goes on to rather snottily give her shit for walking in front of his car earlier. He may be cute, but he's actually kind of a dick. He introduces himself as "West" and asks her what she is and she's like, "The world's cutest regenerating ex-cheerleader?"
He goes on to ask her if she's one of "them" or one of the "others" and she totally thinks he's talking about her powers, of course, but he isn't, he's asking if she's one of the vapid popularity-seekers that surround them, or is she a free-thinking individual with a mind of her own? Claire doesn't give him an answer, instead just throwing the question back at him. The teacher puts a quote up on the board about survival of the species and asks to whom it's attributed. The classroom is overrun with tumbleweeds. Claire jots down "Charles Darwin" in her notebook, but doesn't say anything because she remembers what her father said about not standing out. West sees this and immediately makes a snap judgment that Claire is one of the "robots" instead of one of the "aliens." I have no idea what he's talking about, but for someone who claims to only be interested in befriending free-thinking individuals, he sure makes a lot of judgment calls, no?
Honduras. The Wonder Twins are making their way toward a covered truck. Two greasy coyote guys get out and tell Alejandro that the trip to Sonora, which is 600 miles from the American border, will cost them 10,000 lempiras. Alejandro pulls out the money and Coyote Ugly Numero Uno asks if they're married. Alejandro says they're siblings and CUNO tells him that's even better; she can ride up front with him. Alejandro says that his sister stays with him and that they'll ride in back. They'll squeeze in between the other twenty people back there who want to live in America for some insane reason.
Back with Parkman. He's picking Molly up at school and she's just as annoying as she was last season. Before they can leave, a teacher comes out and says she needs to talk to him about Molly. She says that Molly's falling asleep in class; the teacher thinks that it's because Matt's divorce and his shooting were stressful for her. Matt thinks his divorce is none of her damn business and that Molly's very well taken care of, thanks. But it looks like Molly's been painting some rather disturbing pictures of big scary eyes with the "S" symbol between them, so the question of whether or not she's being well taken care of is kind of not the point, now, is it, Parkman?
Kirby Plaza. Kaito Nakamura, Hiro's father, is sitting alone on a bench, staring at nothing. Ando, sporting a really nice suit, walks up with a cup of coffee and a newspaper and bumps into some guy with a beard that's so large it's actually attacking the lower part of his body. It's Nathan, but Ando doesn't know that. He hands the coffee and paper to Kaito and sits to him. They discuss Hiro and how he hasn't been heard from in four months and how Kaito used to be disappointed in his son, but then Hiro began his quest and now Kaito sees his strength and courage. "There is a legacy that I am meant to hand down to him," says Kaito. "No...I will wait for Hiro to return. I am a man of patience." He opens the paper and a picture of him falls onto the ground. He picks it up and sees that it has the "S" symbol on it. Kaito's immediately freaked out and he gets up and looks around. Ando asks what's wrong and Kaito says, "In 24 hours, I will be dead."
Peter's Apartment. Ma Petrelli is getting handsy again, only this time, it's with the portrait of Nathan and Peter. She touches the glass like it's a kitten and stares down at it. Nathan enters and is unpleasantly surprised to see his mother. Nathan looks like shit. Ma Petrelli tells him that they have to move on, that Peter's never coming back. They fight over the photo until it falls to the ground and the glass breaks and Ma Petrelli says that Nathan's drunk. She starts packing stuff up, bitching at him all the way for not following her grand plan. "To think I almost listened to you," Nathan mumbles to himself. He turns to her. "You're evil, Ma." This stops her and she looks at him. "Get out," he whispers. She flings something at him and leaves. Once she's outside, she sees a picture of herself tacked to the wall and it has same red "S" symbol on it as Kaito's photo. Clearly someone's marked her for death too.
1671. Hiro's just transported his hero and himself to a remote forest clearing. His hero is decidedly ungrateful and demands to know what happened. Hiro says that he saved his life and this makes the guy turn tail and run, saying that fighting "ryo" is not worth dying for and that Takezo Kensei can keep his damn money. This confuses Hiro. If he's not Takezo Kensei... Just then, the real Takezo comes around a tree with a crossbow pointed at Hiro's face. He picks up the sword the other guy dropped and tells Hiro that if he'd been able to put a sword through the chest of the samurai leader, he would have been made a very rich man. Takezo asks if Hiro's a monk, but Hiro insists he isn't; he's Takezo's biggest fan. He knows all the stories and thinks Takezo's a hero. Takezo thinks Hiro's been taking crazy pills. Takezo removes his ornate mask and reveals that he's Julian Sark! Damn, that guy NEVER dies. Hiro's again confused. He's all, "Takezo is gaijin?" Takezo's like, "I go by that name here, but I sure as hell don't go by 'hero,' lemme tell you that." Hiro: "Nerrrrrrrrrt?"
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After the break, we catch up with Bennet, who's still working in paper. Only it's the Kinko's kind of paper, and his boss is a dicksmack with a moustache made from pubes. Pube-Stache gives Bennet a hard time for not installing printer cartridges and Bennet has to swallow his desire to slam the guy's head with an output tray due to his dedication to the whole un-extraordinary plan. Pube-Stache gives this whole spiel about the paper business being dog-eat-dog and how you have to WANT IT and does Bennet WANT IT? And Bennet just goes, "Yes sir," and walks away, contemplating how easy it would be to make a copy of the guy's heart while it's still beating.
Drinks with Tobolowsky seems to be more like lunch with Tobolowsky and I'm already tired of his character. And of typing "Tobolowsky." He shall henceforth be known as Tobby the Company Elf. Or "Tobby" for short. He delivers the news that The Company was formed 30 years ago by a bunch of like-minded normal people with extraordinary powers. How many bets you wanna make that Kaito and Ma Petrelli were two of those people? Tobby says that it's their job to find Heroes and protect them. "We find people and make sure they don't become dangerous," he says. Sometimes this involves teaching Heroes what they are and how to use their powers for good, not evil. Unfortunately, sometimes they're forced to, ahem, retire Heroes who may have already become a threat to themselves and others.
Mohinder rightly asks who the hell Tobby is to decide who lives or dies. Tobby points out that Mohinder tried to put a bullet in Sylar's brain. Mohinder's like, "THAT WAS TOTALLY DIFFERENT! HE WAS ICKY." And besides, he's totally dead (not) so he's not a threat anymore (is too). Tobby mentions that he knows that Mohinder and Parkman are hiding Molly away and raising her as any good gay fathers should: with lots of nightmares and discussions of bogeymen. Tobby wants to offer Mohinder funds for his research. Mohinder thinks his research into the plague is going to be way too expensive. Tobby turns his spoon into gold, and says that money's really not going to be an issue. "So," says Tobby as Mohinder gapes, "can we count you in?"
Cut to Parkman, in Suresh's apartment, receiving a pizza from a delivery guy. He calls Molly to dinner and she chastises him for not feeding her vegetables. Matt says he got a veggie pizza. She misses Mohinder because at least he cooks. And is hot. They carry on a rather useless conversation wherein Molly says that Matt using his mind-reading skills to pass the police test is cheating and Matt thinks it totally isn't because...Molly's drawing bad pictures during class! Way to deflect there, Parkman. Just focus on the kid's fucked-up-ness. Your unborn son is SO lucky to have you as a father. Really. Anyway, Matt pulls out her nightmare pictures and Molly's like, "I totally don't want to talk about that, 'kay?" Matt just wants to help her, but Molly doesn't want to talk about it, and illustrates this by shouting at him, something she probably normally doesn't do. She takes her pizza to her room as Matt looks down at his plate sadly because he hates vegetables and thinks they don't belong on a slice of pizza.
Honduras. Again. Some more. I'm already bored with this storyline. Maya and Alejandro are reading from Papa Suresh's book and they think he has it all figured out. They think he's found the cure for whatever ails them. Alejandro says that "it" won't happen whenever he's with Maya because he won't let "it." We don't know yet what "it" is, but I'm thinking it involves blood and eyes, don't you? The truck comes to a stop and CUNO opens the truck flap and orders Alejandro and Maya to get out of the truck. They do, and CUNO pulls Alejandro away and says that they're going to need more money for both of them to go to America; the original amount only covers them both if the sister rides up front. This idea doesn't sit well with Alejandro, but CUNO is past caring, so he starts kicking the shit out of Alejandro and then his buddy grabs Maya and flings her into the front cab and they take off, leaving Alejandro in the dust.
Claire's New School. Claire's in gym class, watching longingly as the cheerleaders practice in another area. She's so absorbed that she almost misses a shot in her badminton game. Her partner eats some floor after diving for a shot and the head cheertator totally starts giving her shit. Claire immediately jumps to her partner's defense, helping her to her feet. Claire runs to get the birdie and comes in contact with West, who calls her a robot. Claire's like, "What, so now I'm a robot? You're a jackass. Now that we all have our labels..." He brings up the fact that she knew the answer in class but didn't say anything, and rightly suggests that she doesn't want people to know how smart she is. She's about as irritated by him as I am, so she just walks away.
The Cheertator is giving Claire's partner some shit, trying to cajole her into leaping off the jump tower. Claire walks up and intervenes, telling the cheertator to leave her alone. The cheertator then challenges Claire to do it and, because Claire's a competitive little shit, she agrees and climbs to the top of the tower. She's about to do it when she thinks twice and stops before she performs the stunt. In the distance, West sees her and gives her a disapproving glance as if to say, "See? You really don't want people to know you're special."
Meanwhile, Molly's having nightmares again. Matt enters her room and tries to listen to her thoughts as she's tossing and turning. It's a lot of "Help me, please!" and "Don't hurt me!" and it seems like a normal nightmare until we hear a man's voice whisper, "I can see you, Molly!" Molly wakes with a start and Matt immediately holds onto her. He tells her to find the guy who's scaring her, but she says that if she does that and Matt goes after him, he'll kill Matt and Molly doesn't want that to happen. He promises that no one's going to get killed and then he soothes her out of her nightmare.
Back with Claire, she's mournfully sitting on top of the tower, ruminating on why she didn't just do the damn back flip anyway. She gets up to leave the tower, stops, and then decides to go for it. She checks to see if anyone's around first and then jumps off the tower, landing hard on her feet. Her left shin breaks beneath her and she falls down. She sets the bone with a crack and the bruise that had appeared there immediately disappears. West enters and asks her what the hell she's still doing there. She looks at him like, "Well, there's one thing I'm NOT doing and that's JUMPING OFF CHEER TOWERS!" He sees right through this and glances up, putting two and two together. He's totally onto her.
Klinko's. Bennet's enjoying his coffee break, but Pube-Stache thinks it's about time the break was OVER. Bennet thinks Pube-Stache should maybe stop harassing him and make better use of his time, say, collating TPS reports or something. Pube-Stache continues to needle Bennet, saying there's a line of customers out front, even though there isn't, and Bennet calmly says he's going to finish his coffee, thanks. Pube-Stache steps WAY over the line and pokes his finger in Bennet's face, telling him to get on the floor. "Do you hear me?" "Oh, I hear you," says Bennet, grabbing Pube-Stache's finger in his fist and twisting him around so that the guy's flat on his back on the table. Awesome. "Now hear me," says Bennet. "I am through eating your crap. From now on I will work how and when I feel like it. I will take breaks when I want to. And you will not say one damn word to me ever again. Understand?" Boy howdy does he EVER understand!
1671. The Year of the Hot Blond Samurai. Hiro's trying to work it all out in his head, the whole Kensei-being-a-white-guy thing. Kensei goes off to take leak and explains the meaning of his name: Saint Sword. He chose it to instill fear in his opponents. He thought of it when he came over from England. "You ah Engrish?!" says Hiro in surprise. Kensei's ecstatic that he's finally met someone who speaks his mother tongue. He explains that he came over on a tea boat and wound up staying to make his fortune. He gets paid to fight off bandits and such. Hiro's horrified; his hero does not fight for money! He fights for honor! Kensei's like, "Not a lot of bank in honor, dude." He tells Hiro that he hired that impersonator to distract the warriors in the field so that he could climb up a tree and make an easy target out of all the men. Hiro thinks this is fighting dirty, and he's disgusted. Kensei begs to differ, saying that he thinks it's fighting smart. "I give him a fair wage! If he lives!" Heh. Hiro stops him, saying that he comes from the future and that he read tales of Kensei's triumphs as a boy. He killed some bear, fell in love with some guy's daughter, and saved the village of Otsu. That's when Hiro realizes that the village in the distance is on fire. The village of Otsu. Looks like Hiro's interference with Kensei led to the destruction of the village he was supposed to have saved. Oopsy.
Superroof of Superheroes. Ando and Kaito are on the roof, discussing how Kaito's going to die. Ando asks who sent the message and Kaito says that it could be any one of "them." Ando asks who "them" are but Kaito doesn't say, noting only that they're all really superpowerful. Kaito tells Ando to leave, that he's not safe. Ando says he'll stay and fight, thanks. Kaito thinks fast and tells Ando to go get him a sword, then. He's clearly sending Ando on a fool's errand to get him out of the way. Ando goes to leave, running into Ma Petrelli on the way out. She's crying and asks to see Kaito's photo. She holds it up to her own and we see that they were actually standing to each other in the original photo, which has been ripped in half. Angela thinks someone's playing a joke, but Kaito doesn't think so. He thinks someone's systematically killing them off. There are only nine remaining, he says. He goes on to say that he thinks someone is enacting revenge upon them all for the people they killed in the name of their beliefs. He sought redemption by helping his son achieve his quest. "How did you help your son?" he asks, eliciting a look of bitter contemplation from Angela. She smacks him across the face. Ando, not having left yet, sees this and then runs off because angry grandmas with a penchant for smacking a bitch up really scare him. Angela turns to run away. Kaito calls after her. He tells her he's leaving for Japan that night and that she should disappear as well.
Back with Hiro, he asks one of the escaping villagers what happened and she says that bandits razed their village. The same bandits that Kensei would have picked off one by one had Hiro not messed with that plan. Hiro realizes that he may have just changed the course of the future. "You mustn't fret everything, my strange little friend," says Kensei, offering him an earthenware jug. "Some sake? It'll brighten your day!" Hiro insists that Kensei's supposed to be a hero and that he gains gold and riches more than anyone could ever dream. Oh, and he takes the swordsmith's daughter, the most beautiful girl in all of Japan, to be his princess. Just then, the most beautiful girl in all of Japan walks up and slaps the shit out of Kensei. "Owww?" says Kensei. Hee. God, I missed David Anders. I'm so happy he's on a ridiculous sci-fi-ish character-driven television show that I'm addicted to. It's just like old times!
The daughter tells him that they gave him everything they had as payment to get rid of the bandits, but now their village is burned to the ground and they have nothing. The bandits took her father hostage so she takes Kensei's sword, which, it turns out, was his payment for stopping the bandits in the first place. She walks off, and Kensei tuts Hiro that he doesn't think the daughter has any interest in becoming his princess right about now. In fact, all she's really interested in doing is rescuing her father. Hiro runs after Kensei and tells him that he has to rescue the swordsmith and make the daughter fall in love with him so that he can become the legendary hero Hiro knows and loves. After about thirty seconds of Hiro's yammering, Kensei's had enough and he punches Hiro in the face, knocking him to the ground. "The only thing I HAVE to do," says Kensei, "is find me a drink." Amen, brother.
Nuevo Casa de Bennet. The Bennets are gathered around the table, enjoying a meal made from silence and resentment. Noah tries to bridge the discomfort by stating a bunch of useless facts about California. Mrs. Bennet asks what Claire's first day of school was like, if anything special happened. Claire says she skated by unnoticed as if she wasn't even there. This pleases everyone. "And how 'bout you, sweetheart?" asks Mrs. B. Noah looks up like, "Who, me? Uh...I'll tell you what I did NOT do. I did NOT jack up some pube-stache-sporting asshole by grabbing his finger and telling him to shut the hell up. I did NOT do that at all!" Mrs. Bennet thinks it's amazing that everyone has adjusted so well to their new lives. She thinks everyone is flourishing. Everyone, that is, except Mr. Muggles, because no one knows how many championships he's won and how important he is. Mr. Muggles: "Lady, please. I crap on the sidewalk and eat food off the floor. How goddamned important do you think I AM? Even I'm not that delusional. You gonna eat that fat? That fat right there? On your plate? Gimme gimme gimme."
Bennet's cell phone rings and he goes to answer it, saying it's probably work. What, reporting an emergency paper jam? The family's not fooled, Noah. Trust me on this. Klinko's does not call its employees during dinner on their cell phones. Hell, Klinko's probably doesn't even HAVE their employees' cell phone numbers. So, whatever, it's Mohinder calling and he informs Bennet that The Company finally took the bait. He's in. Bennet thinks it's all falling into place and that together, they will bring the whole Company down.
Honduras. Alejandro catches up with the truck. It's stopped on the road. He runs to open the cab door and the coyotes both have eyes made of blood. He runs to the back and opens the flaps. All the passengers have the same problem. They're all bleeding out their eyes. He hears Maya crying and runs around the side of the truck. She's crouched on the ground, sobbing. He goes to her. She doesn't know what she's done and begs God's forgiveness. Alejandro takes control of the situation and hauls the coyotes out of the cab and tells his sister that they'll get to a safe place and bury the others. They have to get to America no matter what, because the man on the back of the book has the answers they seek and only he can help them.
Back with Claire, she's dialing a number on her pink bubblegum phone. It rings, and Nathan picks up. He's at a bar and wants to know why Claire is calling him. She doesn't know. He says he has to hang up, but she stops him, saying that she knows why Nathan is doing this: they both miss Peter. She doesn't know if she can pretend to be someone she isn't anymore. She feels like she's going to burst. "Look, I know you're looking for answers," he says, "we all are. But trust me, I am not the guy to give them to you. I'm sorry." He hangs up and then looks at himself in the mirror. The reflection he sees looking back at him seems to be that of himself, but horribly scarred and burned. Or maybe it's Peter. It looks like Nathan, though, so I'm not sure what's going on. Claire flips her phone closed and lies back on the bed. The camera pulls back to reveal West, who's floating outside her window, watching her. So he's a snotty outsider stalker who flies? Which one is his superpower?
Superroof of Superheroes. Kaito's still standing there, waiting for Ando to come back from finding a sword at the Duane Reade on the corner of 58th and 8th. He hears a noise and wonders out loud if it's Ando. But there's no response. A hooded figure appears in the doorway. We can't see his face, but it's clearly a man. "Of all of them," says Kaito, "I never expected it would be you." Just then, Ando appears, with a fucking sword, and Hooded Guy takes off, running toward Kaito. He knocks into him, flinging them both over the side of the building. Ando runs to the edge and looks down, but only Kaito lies at the bottom; the hooded figure is nowhere to be found.
Cork, Ireland. A security guard with a flashlight is wandering through some dockyards. Suddenly, a man comes out of the shadows and clocks him. He falls to the ground. A big guy with a truly terrible Irish accent questions the hitter as to whether he was trying to kill the poor bastard or not. They drag the guard out of the way and it becomes clear that they're looking for a particular container on the docks. They find it and crack into it. Once inside, they're confused; they thought there'd be a shitload o' iPods in it! Instead, there's just...Peter Petrelli, chained up and shirtless. Thank you, Kring! The Irish thugs go after him, but he shoots some electricity at them from his hands and one goes down. Peter looks one hundred percent shocked that this has just occurred. It appears he has no idea that he can do special things with his hands. (Dirty!) "Who are you?" asks the leader. "What's yer name?" "I don't know," says Peter, sporting the latest design in "S" symbol pendants around his neck and a freshly shorn haircut that is doing him all kinds of favors. "I don't know."
Well, you may not know WHO you are, Peter, but I'll tell you WHAT you are: hot.
on Heroes: The rest of the season! Yay!