Welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, well.


Episode Report Card Erin: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, well.

By Erin | Season 1 | Episode 18 | Aired on 03.04.2007

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The final episode before the hiatus begins with Peter and Isaac mourning Simone, only Isaac's idea of mourning involves shooting at Peter a whole hell of a lot. The Haitian Sensation gets orders from someone to take Claire out of the country. She'd rather go live with Peter, but the Haitian puts the kibosh on that idea. We discover that Nathan's actually working with the FBI to bring down Linderman, and they want him to record a meeting they're having in Vegas. Peter sneaks a visit to Nathan and tells him about Simone. Nathan's only suggestion is to call Mohinder, but Peter disappears before help can arrive.

Mrs. Bennet surprises us all by telling her husband that she knows all about Claire and that he told her not to tell anyone that she knows the truth. They agree to tell no one that they know what's really going on. Bennet's new partner arrives, and she's hot and kind of bad-ass and can somehow absorb other people and project herself as them, and she wears really short skirts. Mohinder finally wakes up and smells the chai and realizes that Sylar isn't Zane, and drugs him. Unfortunately, Sylar's all-powerful, and he stops the drugs and attacks Mohinder and staples him to the ceiling.

In Vegas, Nathan gets Hiro into Linderman's Museum of Creepy Isaac Paintings. Hiro almost gets arrested while stealing the sword, only to have Ando save the day because Ando is now a damn security guard. So, Hiro gets his damn sword, and before security shows up, he transports himself and Ando into the future where the bomb has already flattened New York. Speaking of New York, after an impromptu and creepy visit from Bennet and his new partner Candace, Isaac goes batshit crazy in his studio and starts painting again. What he paints looks bloody and disturbing and a lot like…himself, with the top of his skull cut off.

Nathan and Niki meet up in Vegas while Jessica's sleeping inside her head, and Niki tries to save his life by telling him that Linderman's onto his association with the feds. She tells him to take whatever deal Linderman offers him or choose death. Nathan decides to kill Linderman with Jessica's gun. When he goes to meet the man, he's in the big hotel kitchen, chopping the shit out of some vegetables. Oh, he's also Malcolm Fucking McDowell, people. Linderman makes individual pot pies while Nathan contemplates murder. Linderman then tells him that he knows he can fly and he knows all about the Heroes. He offers Nathan a shot at the presidency and, of course, Nathan doesn't shoot him.

Candace dupes Bennet into spilling his guts about Claire when she impersonates Mrs. Bennet. Looks like Bennet's goose, she is cooked. Claire gets away from the Haitian Sensation and pays a visit to Peter's apartment, but only Mama Petrelli is there. Luckily, she not only knows who Claire is, she's apparently partnered up with the Haitian Sensation. So Grandma P is the one who's been looking out for Claire all this time! Awesome! Peter goes to visit Mohinder and Sylar attacks him, saying that Peter's like him and wouldn't it be cool to find out what makes Peter's brain tick? And that's when Sylar starts to slice Peter's head open…

AIEEEEEE! Want more? The full recap starts right below!

Previously on Heroes: Sars and Couch Baron graciously covered my ass while my nutbar of a mother was in town visiting (she's crazy, y'all, but in that funny "why's that gray-haired woman wearing a chandelier on her head?" kind of way that's so charming in woman of a certain age -- think Dame Judi Dench in leggings with way more swearing and way less upper crust-ness and you've got my mom), and the episode was probably the best one of the season because it was all about Bennet and Claire and how HRG became HRG, and Eric Roberts showed up in all his skeevy glory, and Ted blew the hell up, and Claire saved her family, and then her dad proved his love for her by sending her off with the Haitian Sensation, but only after he forced the Haitian Sensation to shoot him in the gut and erase his memory.

In short? Last week's episode kicked all kinds of ass.

And this week's is no different, people.

We open on the hella-cool episode title scrawled across Isaac's floorpocalypse. Smoke is in the air and it's coming from the gun Isaac just accidentally shot Simone with. Peter and Isaac are crouched over their girl as she beautifully dies. Isaac asks if Peter can do something for her, but all he can do is announce that Simone's dead. Peter easily picks up her body and carries her over to Isaac's bed. I don't know why, but that totally impressed me; because Milo V. isn't a bodybuilder, you know? He strikes me as possessing a wiry strength, but he's not a big guy. And the way he just picked up Tawny Cypress like she was made of feathers was kind of hot. Yes, I may need a date or something sometime soon. I am aware of this. Shut up. So, Isaac's devastated and sad and of course this leads him to blame Peter for not being the one to get shot. In order to remedy this situation, Isaac picks up the gun and tries to finish what he started. Peter immediately goes invisible and runs the hell outta there, leaving Isaac to grieve over the body of the woman they both loved.

Vegas. Hiro's still trying to get his stupid-ass sword from Linderman. Can't wait for this storyline to be over with so Hiro can get his powers back and start working on his FutureHiro soul patch already. Hiro pretends to be a tourist from Osaka and tries to sneak past some security guys, but they're totally onto him, and tell him he's been flagged or something, and then they kick him out. Literally. Like he's on the ground and shit. He flails at the security guy that he'll make it in somehow and the security guy looks at him like, "Sure you will. And if you try to make the damn Spock sign at me, I'm going to rip off your fingers and feed them to you in a bowl of Jell-O."

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2014-04-09
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