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Firemommy blackmails Flydaddy with her knowledge of their daughter's existence. I hope she flames up and then someone sprays her with fire extinguisher and she drowns. What? She's an ass. Claire demands to meet her real father, but Firemommy tells her he doesn't want to know her. Oh, and then she lies about the amount of money he's giving them. See? Ass.
Hiro tells Ando that a hero needs to have hope. Fortunately for both of them, Hope is right around the corner in the form of Missy Pyle. The boys agree to retrieve her pink rhinestone-encrusted bag from her abusive boyfriend in exchange for an introduction to Linderman. Turns out she's kind of a conniving bitch, though, and she punches Hiro in the face, shoves him in a storage closet, and takes Ando with her, leaving Hiro behind.
Matt goes to work as Greasy McFatNut's bodyguard. Linderman hires Jessica to kill Greasy McFatNut, because Greasy McFatNut stole the two million Jessica stole from Linderman. Oh, it's such a twisted tale. So, Matt accompanies Greasy on a diamond buy in LA and learns that Linderman's "man" is about to come and kill Greasy McFatNut. So Matt decides to save him, even though it's pretty clear the guy is a major douchebag. A chase ensues, with Niki making an appearance outside her mirrored prison to plead with Jessica to stop being a baddie. Jessica ignores Niki and blithely tosses Matt out a window. He's fine, of course, even though Greasy is basically cut in half by Jessica. Matt manages to walk away with a shitload of diamonds, which he totally deserves.
Zane Taylor, one of the Heroes from La Carte des Héros, contacts Mohinder and wants to meet, but Sylar gets there first. Mohinder finally shows up, but Sylar's already taken Zane's brain and his talent, which seems to be the ability to melt metal things. Sylar enthusiastically offers to accompany Mohinder on his quest to find more Heroes, and an unlikely partnership is forged. That is not going to end well, people. Not at all.
Nathan goes to see Meredith and he gives her the money she asked for. He wants to see his daughter, but Claire's already left. Fortunately, she's hiding outside and she hears their entire discussion. Unfortunately, Nathan leaves without meeting her. This doubly sucks because Claire's poor mother is now suffering from Alzheimer's or something, most likely due to the umpteen brain vacuums she's suffered at the hands of the Haitian Sensation.
And, finally, Jessica gets another assignment. This time? Nathan's her target. Go ahead. You can say it. Dun dun DUNNNNN! Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously on Heroes: A bunch of ordinary people discovered they had extraordinary powers. I shit you not, that's what the previouslies say. I'll be a bit more detailed and tell you that Peter "Powersuck" Petrelli and Claude "Dr. Where" Invisible buddied up to teach Peter how to control his powers, and all that happened was Claude smacked him around a bit and tossed him off a building, and it was totally awesome. Claire "Rah Rah Regenerator" met her real mother and we found out that her father is none other than Nathan "Flydaddy" Petrelli. Hiro "Yatta!" Nakamura confronted his father, George "Sulu" Takei and basically wasted precious minutes of show time by not furthering his storyline along AT ALL. And Jessica got out of prison but put Niki in one for good, and now Niki's hanging out in reflective surfaces wondering why her alter ego always has better hair than she does.
We pick up right where we left off, with Claire's birth mother calling Nathan at his office. Firemommy repeats her stuff about Claire and how she's alive, only this time, we just hear her on the phone instead of seeing her. This time, it's all about Nathan and his reaction to this news. He's stunned, basically. Firemommy says that they need to talk, and Nathan's like, um, sure. We can talk but, uh, it's been fourteen years, honey. I barely even remember you. Also? I kind of thought you were dead. Firemommy says that the fire that supposedly killed her was intentionally set; someone was out to get her. Everyone assumed she was dead, so she took the opportunity to run. "And our daughter?" gruffs Nathan. Why are those three words so sexy coming out of Adrian Pasdar's mouth? That's not even something sexy to say, it's just... how does he DO that?
Firemommy tells Nathan about Claire being adopted by a nice family in Texas (read: overprotective father who possibly just wanted to monitor Claire's superpowers up close and a ditzy dog-loving mother who may or may not remember anything prior to 1992) and that she's sixteen and beautiful. "She's got blonde hair like me," she says, "and she's smart, just like you. Oh, and she can regenerate herself on cue. Think that might have anything to do with the fact that you can fly and I can start fires with my fingertips? Maybe?" Firemommy makes a crack about Claire some day running for Congress and Nathan gets this look on his face like, uh-oh. I see where this is going. "The timing of this... your call, two weeks before my election, that--that's not a coincidence, is it?" he cautiously asks her. "Child born out of wedlock," she says, "that's big news. You wouldn't want it to come out. That could ruin things for you." Oh for fuck's sake. I KNEW she'd wind up being a scammer. I knew it! That just blows. Can't Claire have one normal, nice parent? I mean, yeah, her mother is lovely, but the woman plays kissyface with a puffy dog and has had half her brain removed by the Haitian Sensation! That poor girl is going to spend a fortune in therapy after she helps the other Heroes save the damn world.
Nathan asks Meredith how much money she wants, and before she can come up with a decent figure, he offers her a hundred thousand dollars. She quickly accepts it and tells him she'll let him know where to send it. Nathan drops the phone into the cradle without even looking. He's totally floored, y'all. He looks like someone just hit him in the head with a brick.
Speaking of hitting someone in the head with a brick, Mr. and Mrs. Bennet are returning to the Bennet Family Manse and Mama B. looks wrecked. She seriously looks like she's had a lobotomy or something. Bennet gently brings her into the living room and sits her down in a chair. Mr. Muggles immediately leaps up into the chair to sit to his woman. Mr. Muggles: "What's up with the lady-type-food-giver? She's all spacey and wrinkled. I liked her better when she was jolly and making cupcakes and accidentally dropping red sprinkles on the ground. Red sprinkles! Ooooh, maybe the man-type-glasses-statue-thing can get me some red sprinkles. Step on it, Four Eyes!" Claire worriedly asks what the hell's wrong with her mother and Bennet just says she needs time to rest and recover. "Recover from what?" breathes Claire. "She, uh, had an appointment with a neurologist," he responds. "He ran some tests." That's all? She had some tests done? She looks more like someone who's had their skull cracked open so that Freddy Krueger could scramble their brains with his razor hand.
Bennet tells his daughter that her mom has been having some headaches and Claire's all, yeah, she's also been suffering from some serious memory loss, asshole. Did ya tell 'em that too? Bennet, perhaps getting an inkling that his daughter isn't having the same memory problem as her mother, just tersely says that of course he told the doctors about the memory loss and that he's handling the situation just fine without her snotty attitude. Bennet pats his wife's shoulder and leaves the room. Claire wraps her arms around her mother's neck and she has tears in her eyes. She should be crying -- her mother looks seriously fucked up. "Don't worry, honey," says Mrs. B. "I'll be fine. Mr. Muggles isn't worried, are you Mr. Muggles? No he's not." Mr. Muggles: "Hey, as long as you can shake food into a bowl and rub my belly, we're good. You can have all the brain issues you want, lady. Just make sure you don't forget the kibble, a'ight?"
Vegas. Superfamily's Superhouse. Jessica's busy covering up her helix tattoo as Niki kvetches at her from her mirrored prison. Niki thinks D.L. won't be fooled by Jessica's impersonation of her. Jessica's like, uh, are you forgetting I have boobs? In case you haven't noticed, D.L. is a man and Jessica is a woman. A hot woman. With boobs. Did I mention the boobs? Really, Niki, D.L. wouldn't notice if Jessica were made of cheese and covered in grape leaves as long as she still had boobs. D.L. calls out to Jessica that they have to get going and she throws on a shirt and leaves the room as Niki stares at her ineffectually from behind the mirror.
Boring House in Boringstoryville. Matt is getting dressed in a suit as his wife makes catcalls at him from their bed. She asks him if this outfit is standard issue for bodyguards, and he cutely corrects her, saying they're not called "bodyguards" anymore, they're called "private security." He puts on his shoulder holster and we switch back to the Superfamily as Micah's asking if they're ever going to talk about "it." "It" being their superpowers. He feels like they should be fighting crime or something. Jessica and D.L. laugh good-naturedly, and she tells Micah that they'll fight crime later; right now, he has to go to school. She kisses him and pats him on the butt and he leaves with his dad as Jessica catches a dejected-looking Niki in the reflection on the TV screen. D.L tells her that she has a package on the table and after he shuts the door, she saunters over to get it.
Back to Matt and his wife. He's readying his gun and she nervously asks him if he's really going to need it on this job. He claims that it bumps up his salary if he carries a gun and assures her that he's not going to need it because he's basically a glorified babysitter. And back again with Niki. She's on the phone, telling someone that she's thankful they called because "playing house is making [her] cranky." She opens up the package and inside are plane tickets and an envelope filled with cash. "I understand," she says. "Guy stole his money. He wants him dead. What Mr. Linderman wants, Mr. Linderman gets." Cut to the airport. Greasy McFatNut exits, looking for his driver. Matt's waiting for him with his name scrawled on a white card. They introduce themselves, and Matt says he's here to protect him. Greasy McFatNut's face turns into a picture and we see Jessica pulling the picture out of her package and it's then that we get just who Jessica is supposed to kill for Linderman. "Bang," she whispers at his fat little face.
Okay... what? When did Jessica and Linderman get so damn chummy? She stole two million from him, then she killed his men, then she killed some other men, then he got her out of prison, probably because she called him and said she'd be an assassin-for-hire for him, and now she's all, "Yay! Linderman called! I get to go a killin'!" I mean it's pretty clear that Jessica would kill her own mother if there were money in it, but unless this is all leading to her potentially killing Linderman himself, I don't get why she's so blithely carrying out his murderous tasks.
Vegas. Hiro and Ando are hiding out behind a dumpster. I'm going to tell you right now that I have absolutely NO patience for this storyline whatsoever. I'll refrain from being too rude about it in the recap, and I'll do my best to give you as much detail as possible here, but ninety percent of the time, I was so bored during these scenes that I actually caught myself SLEEPING during one of them. Want to know what happens to Hiro and Ando in their scenes? They go to Vegas, some carny bitch dupes them into stealing her bag, and then she kidnaps Ando and Hiro gets locked in a storeroom. That's it. THAT IS IT. And the sword? The sword that Hiro swears he needs to get his stupid powers back? STILL DON'T HAVE IT. Thaaaaaat's right. I appreciate pacing, and I think this show's done a damn fine job of it for the most part, but if we don't cut to the chase on Hiro's storyline soon, I'm going to grow terribly weary of the "oh-cute-o-san" crap that the writers and characters keep throwing my way. I mean it.
So, whatever, Ando and Hiro are trying to sneak into Linderman's hotel through the service entrance as Ando bitches and moans about them being back where they started from and being no closer to stopping the bomb from destroying New York. He thinks it's a lost cause, but Hiro refuses to give up. "More than anything, a hero must have hope," says Hiro. Ando's like, greaaaaat. How about you work on getting into Linderman's office, and I'll work on finding hope. At that precise moment, they both stumble upon a woman who's sitting on a counter, crying. She's wearing one of those hilarious "only in the Vegas that's in the movies or on TV" waitress outfits that looks like it was borrowed from a bar wench at Medieval Times.
Ando walks over and asks if she's okay and if they can help her, and she stands up, towering over him, and rather woodenly says that she couldn't ask them for help because they're complete strangers. Ando introduces himself and Hiro and asks for her name, and when she tells them it's "Hope" both of the boys widen their eyes all, "That is so strange! Did you hear her say her name was Hope? Here we are looking for hope, and here she is! Spooky!" Considering what happens later in the episode, I have to wonder just how long ol' Hope was sitting there. Was she just hoping that one of the kitchen staff would notice her and help her out? Or was she just waiting for some random Japanese tourists on a heroic mission to wander into the kitchen so that she could dupe them into helping her out of a tight spot? Either way, it would seem Hope's into playing the long shots, because that's a hell of a chance to take in a Las Vegas hotel kitchen, you know?
Matt's driving Greasy McFatNut into downtown L.A. In an effort to bore his passenger to tears, Matt keeps up an endless patter of nonsense chatter that Greasy McFatNut finally has to put to an end. He tells Matt that the job is simple: make sure no one bothers him. And by "no one," he means "everyone, including Matt." Greasy McFatNut thinks to himself that he hopes "this loser" knows how to use his gun. Matt hears this, of course. He also hears, "Otherwise, we're both dead." Matt shifts in his seat, not sure if he wants to continue his employment with the bald fat guy with the death wish.
Supersized Superpads of Superhero Research. Mohinder's making phone calls to the people on The List. Call after call, he's hung up on or ignored. Finally, he plays his answering machine messages, and one of them is from a nervous-sounding guy named Zane Taylor. Mohinder checks the map and sees a Post-It for Zane over Virginia Beach, VA. Zane says that he got Mohinder's message, and now something odd is happening to him. He can't control it. He thinks they need to talk. Right away.
Vegas. Hope unspools a yarn to the Bouken Boys about how she was abused by this guy and she just got the courage to leave him, but she left her stupid bag behind in the hotel room upstairs. It's pink (of course) and has rhinestones all over it (ditto) and she says it has all her money and credit cards and family photos in it. She flicks the switch on the waterworks as Hiro and Ando look at her sympathetically. Ando, besotted with Hope's weepy eyes and flippy blonde hair, offers to go get the bag for her. Hiro's all, the what? Dude. Ixnay on the elp-hay! He pulls his friend aside and reminds him of their mission. What mission would that be, Hiro? The one where you're supposed to save the world? Or the one where you endlessly traverse the continent in search of a sword YOU DON'T EVEN FUCKING NEED?
Ando basically says as much when he's like, dude? We've been following your mission all along; why can't we follow my mission, just once? Hiro's like, what the fuck mission are you talking about? Ando's like, um, the mission wherein I GET LAID. Throw me a bone, homes; this Hope chick will totally put out if I get her bag. I mean, you had Charlie and now you want to go get the sword from Linderman -- when do I get to chase something I want? Hope breaks in to ask if they just said Linderman's name. Hiro asks if she knows him and she says she knows people who know him. They strike a bargain: if Hiro and Ando get her bag, Hope will introduce them to Linderman. Ando asks how they can get past security and Hope brightly says she has an idea.
Cut to Ando, wheeling a room service cart down a hallway, dressed as a hotel employee. He knocks on a door and Hope's ex answers and it's Bill Fagerbakke, the guy who played Coach's hapless employee as well as Tom "M-O-O-N spells Tom" Cullen on the sometimes-hideous miniseries The Stand. Seriously -- have you seen that thing lately? It was on Sci-Fi not too long ago and, while there are moments of creepiness (the opening with "Don't Fear the Reaper" playing in the background is particularly haunting) and suspense, the overacting and overwrought characterizations tend to distract you from any good parts you might be witnessing. Gary Sinise? Awesome, as always. Molly Ringwald as Frannie? So grossly miscast that every time she was onscreen, I kept looking for Andrew McCarthy and James Spader to show up in their Miami Vice ice cream suits. And what was with that fucking wig they had on her? It was like Louise Brooks on a bender. And don't even get me started on Adam Storke as Larry Underwood and Laura San Giacomo as Nadine and the usually awesome Jamey Sheridan as Flagg and that sad fucking MULLET he had going on. The hair, overall, was so bad it wasn't even laughable. I mean, really.
Wow. Where did THAT come from? Clearly, I have issues with the miniseries of The Stand. I'll go get a Valium and some Nyquil and knock that shit right outta me.
So, whatever, Tom Cullen's at the door, and for some reason, Ando looks totally terrified by him. Yeah, the guy's big, but his abs haven't seen a sit-up since possibly 1983, and Ando's pretty wiry, so I think he could take him. Ando brings the room service cart inside and, after watching him drop single ice cubes one after the other into a glass, Tom Cullen finally tells him to get the hell out so he can go take a shower. Ando leaves and Tom Cullen heads to the bathroom. Hiro creeps out from beneath the room service table and runs to the door. He opens it and brings Ando inside, whinging at him all the way about how this is a bad idea and just because Ando likes a girl doesn't mean they should be distracted like this and that he should just go to Linderman's office without him and I agree, because this entire subplot has gone on long enough. Ando just quotes Hiro back to him, which Hiro fucking hates because there's nothing more annoying than knowing you're wrong and having a friend point OUT that you're wrong with YOUR OWN WORDS.
Ando searches the room and Hiro opens the closet door, finding a huge gun inside. He thinks they should leave. Ando thinks a hero never runs. Hiro thinks Ando should quit using his quotes as arguments. Ando thinks Hiro should shut the fuck up and go get his sword. Hiro thinks Ando is stupid. Ando thinks Hiro should stop moping about his dead brain-eaten girlfriend and get on with the task at hand, which is, namely, GETTING THE FUCKING SWORD ALREADY. The gun in the closet thinks they should both go and screw. Whatever. Ando wants to keep searching, but Hiro starts panicking and he wants them to leave right now. He grabs Ando's arm and drags him to the door. He exits, but Ando stays and locks the door behind him. Hiro hisses Ando's name at the door because nothing says "clandestine" like stage-whispering your buddy's name while said buddy is stretched out beneath a bed trying to hook his fingers onto at pink rhinestone bag. The shower turns off in the distance, and Ando scrambles under the bed until he's completely hidden. When Tom Cullen sits on the bed, Ando knows he's going to be there a while.
Virginia Beach. Zane Taylor, a pasty young man wearing a Ramones t-shirt, sits in a chair, nervously wringing his hands. He keeps repeating, "Please hurry... please hurry" to himself. The walls of his house are covered in plastic sheeting, as if he's doing construction or trying to re-enact the bathtub scene in E.T. The Extraterrestrial. The doorbell rings, and Zane leaps over a bunch of what look like plastic shapes strewn across his floor. He opens the door and says, "Dr. Suresh?" Outside, Sylar turns and rasps, "Yes." Zane's terribly happy to see him, even though, as he invites Sylar inside, the smile on his face drops a few degrees because Sylar's really bad at pretending to be a human being, and Zane totally gets a vibe off him that suggests that Sylar might not be all that bad at killing kittens or running old ladies over with a motorcycle.
I think I speak for pretty much everyone when I say that that movie Wild Hogs looks like hot buttered ass with cockroaches sprinkled on top. Who green-lit that piece of crap? Fat Travolta? Fat Lawrence? Fat Allen? And William H. Macy? What the fuck is he doing in there, paying for his kids' college educations? The fuck? That movie needs to go directly to hell and stay there.
Back from the break, Sylar creepily enters Zane's house as Zane gibbers at him about what he's been "living with" and how he's never been special or someone people would look at twice while walking down the street. Sylar: Stare. Stare stare. Stare some more. Zane's creeped out enough as it is, dude, why can't you just normal it up for five fucking minutes? Zane pulls at the chain on his jeans and tugs at his sleeves and generally unnerves himself all over the damn place. Finally, he says that he should show Sylar his special ability and Sylar agrees. Zane grabs a pot, puts it down on the plastic sheeting and tells Sylar to step back because "it can get a little messy." Then he bends over and we hear a whooshing sound, but we don't see what Zane can do.
Cut to Petrelli Headquarters, where Mama Petrelli is in the process of ripping Nathan a new asshole. "We reap what we sow, Nathan," she spits at him as she futzes with her huge diamond ring. "You have no one to blame but yourself." Nathan draws the blinds and says that he'll go down to Texas and handle the situation. Mama Petrelli thinks this is just about the dumbest idea ever. It's too close to the election, and she doesn't want this getting out to the press. "I cared about Meredith once, Mom," he rasps. "I owe her more than a phone call. I owe them both. Besides. I'm this girl's father, come on!" "You're a glorified sperm donor," she shoots back. "Don't get emotionally attached." Wow. Mama Petrelli could give Angela Lansbury in The Manchurian Candidate a run for her money.
Nathan agrees with me, because he asks his mother how she can be so cold. She says it's because she knows him; beneath the gruff exterior, he's a big-hearted sap. "And the moment that little girl looks at you with her sad, weepy eyes, you're lost. You're finished. You'll start giving, she'll start taking until there's nothing left." She tells him to prioritize and wire the money to Texas and focus on the people who really matter. Cut to Claire, curled up on her bed, looking at the necklace her mother gave her. She quickly hides it when there's a knock at the door. Her father enters and tells her that her mom is resting. He brings up the cutting school incident and Claire tells him that her mom said they could cut school because it was for their report and they went to the aquarium. Bennet pulls the tickets out of his pocket and comments that they probably would have had a hard time getting in with those tickets, seeing as they were printed on Claire's computer.
"You're spying on me?" Claire snaps. "I don't know where you were," he says, "and I don't want to know. You're a teenager, you need to assert your independence. But this behavior... it's unacceptable." He grounds her and tells her she's to be home every day at five sharp until further notice. Claire's furious. She's like, wait a minute here -- so I have to be home every day at five, but you can run all over the country looking for superheroes and erasing people's memories with your damn Haitian Sensation guy? That is SO UNFAIR. Bennet's like, well, when you work for a shadowy quasi-government agency that hunts down people with special powers YOU can make the rules; until then, my dysfunctional house, my dysfunctional rules, little lady. "You can't do that!" she yells. "You have no right!" "I'm your father!" he shouts back. "You're not my real father," she snots back at him. Oh, burn. And rude. Yeah, he may be a bad guy who removes people's memories and everything, but he still has feelings. And just because he doesn't have a superpower doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Watch the tone, Claire. Bennet just says that he isn't her real father, that's true, but he's the closest she's got, so she's staying home every night until she earns their trust back. Oh, and she should stay away from all brain-eating guys with creepy haircuts.
He leaves and Claire punches her pillow several hundred times, then picks up the phone and calls her birth mother. She says she wants to talk about her birth father. Meredith lies that she just now found Claire's father and that he was shocked to learn they were both alive, but that he wanted to help them out financially. She goes on to say that he's going to fly down from New York, and Claire says she wants to meet him. Meredith starts hemming and hawing, saying that it's an awkward situation, and he really isn't sure he wants to meet her and Claire's like, save it, sister. I want to meet my dad. And, really, what did Meredith THINK was going to happen when she just happened to mention that daddy was coming for a visit? Did she think Claire would just go, "Oh, that's nice. Tell him hi for me!" She drove all the way to Kermit on a school day just to see her birth mother, jackass; let's assume she'd do the same for her birth father, okay? Firemommy pretends that she has to get off the phone and says she'll call Claire later. The heartbreak on Claire's face is clearly evident.
Los Angeles. Matt escorts Greasy McFatNut and his silver suitcase across the street. They pass by Jessica as they enter a building and damn, does she look hot. She's wearing black everything and she looks every inch the sexy assassin. Once inside the building, Greasy McFatNut tells some old guy that he has the money and therefore wants to see the diamonds. The diamond dealer says that his offer is more than generous as Greasy checks out the diamonds. Matt hears the dealer's thoughts saying something about how it doesn't matter about the money, Linderman's "guy" will be here soon, and Greasy won't get out alive. Matt moves into action, grabbing Greasy and telling him this is a setup. Greasy dumps the money on the counter and throws the diamonds into the briefcase. He and Matt fly the hell outta there.
At the same time, Jessica's slowly riding up in the elevator as Muzak plays. It's actually really funny, because she's all calm and smiley because she's about to do something she loves (killing people), and the scenes of her are intercut with scenes of Matt and Greasy scrambling all over the place, looking panicked, because they both assume that they're going to wind up being something they don't really want to be (stone cold dead). Matt asks Greasy who the hell Linderman is, and Greasy responds that he's his ex-employer. Matt asks why Linderman's sent someone here to kill him, and Greasy's thoughts tell him that he stole two million bucks off the man. That wouldn't be the same two million bucks D.L. handed over to him two weeks ago, now would it?
"Oh, great!" says Matt, shoving Greasy away. "You stole the money!" Greasy's like, wait -- how the hell do you know that? Matt just hits the button on the elevator as Greasy grabs a diamond out of the velvet bag in an attempt to bribe Matt to save his life. Cut to Jessica again, enjoying the hell outta that Muzak. Back to Matt, Greasy shoves the diamond at him, but Matt says he can't be bribed. Just then, he overhears Jessica's thoughts in the elevator. "Two in the bodyguard, then [Greasy] gets one in the gut." Matt draws his gun. "She's in there," he says, pointing his weapon at the elevator. The elevator dings and Jessica exits with her gun drawn because she's one of those sneaky assassins who just wave their guns all over the place, willy-nilly. Matt and Greasy are nowhere to be found, however, so Jessica just stands there, looking hot. "This should be fun," she says with a huge shit-eating grin on her face.
Uch. Back from break and the Hiro and Ando Show is still going on. Hiro enters a dressing room and comes upon Hope, sitting in a chair, devoid of her stupid pink costume. She's talking on a cell phone and telling someone that she does all the work, and "he" gets half the profit, and she's sick of it. She goes on to say that she got these two "Chinese" guys to help her out. "Turned on the waterworks, and they were mine," she says as Hiro hides behind a rack of clothes. She says that they're getting her bag right now and that she'll hop a bus and meet the guy on the phone in Barstow. She hangs up after telling "Leon" she loves him, and Hiro pratfalls through the rack of clothes. Hope is surprised, but doesn't skip a beat. She says she was on the phone with her mom and then asks where the bag is. "We are not Chinese," says Hiro with what little dignity he has left. "We are Japanese." "Whatever," says Hope, the sweet smile crashing off her face, replaced by a sneer. "Where's... the bag?" "You are... bad person!" declares Hiro. "You may have fooled Ando, but you have not fooled me!" "Thanks for the help, Sulu!" she says, punching him right in the face. Heh. She must have attended the Dr. Where School of Character Education.
Back to Matt and Greasy as they're running down some stairs. Greasy is wheezing because, not only is he fat, he's also asthmatic. He has to stop to breathe on his inhaler, even though stopping isn't really in their best interests right now. Jessica clatters down the stairs after them and Matt makes a split-second decision to exit the stairwell. He and Greasy run into a hallway and Matt orders him to go to the elevator. Jessica continues to follow them, passing a mirrored floor sign as she goes. Niki appears there and tells Jessica that she can't do this. Jessica just smiles and keeps going down the stairs as Niki yells at her to stop. "Don't worry, Niki," says Jessica. "I don't plan on being Little Miss Homemaker forever. Just gotta lay low for a while." She passes another mirror and looks in to see Niki, but she only sees herself. Whoa. That means Niki can actually exist OUTSIDE her mirrored prison on occasion. "You're chasing two men with a gun in broad daylight," says Niki from the stairs above. "You call that laying low?" She goes on to say that this is her life and her child, and we cut to Matt, listening at the door outside. He hears everything, both Niki and Jessica.
"You can't do this!" shouts Niki. "I have to," says Jessica. "Somebody has to repay Linderman." Niki then realizes that Jessica made a deal with Linderman to get them out of jail. Jessica continues on her way as Matt makes a phone call to one of his old cop buddies to ask for backup. Matt and Greasy run through the floor in search of another way out. He tells the guy on the phone that he's got a shooter, possibly two. Shots ring out, and Matt and Greasy duck for cover as Jessica comes blazing in with her gun. I've got it freeze-framed right now, by the way, and Jessica's not wearing any kind of blouse or shirt beneath that jacket. I can see her bare tummy when the jacket swings open. That'll possibly be important here in a minute.
Matt and Jessica shoot at each other as Greasy recovers his fallen briefcase. Matt picks him up and they continue running through the building. Jessica chases. They get to a dead end, and Matt tells Greasy to run to the other side of the building while Matt deals with Jessica in order to buy them time until the cops show up. Jessica comes down a hallway just in time to see a door across the way swinging shut. She opens it and sees another stairwell. She looks down, and Matt cocks his gun from behind her head. He orders her to drop her weapon and she does so with a smile. He cuffs her to the railing as she looks like she's enjoying it. Heh. "Okay," says Matt, "where's your partner?" "Partner?" "Come on, your partner! I heard you arguing with her! Niki, right? Where is she?" Jessica's like, whaaaa? You can hear her? Maybe that means she's not in my head after all! Matt asks again where Niki is, and Jessica quickly realizes that it might behoove her to have Matt thinking there's a second shooter in the immediate vicinity. She says that Niki's probably shooting Greasy right about now, so Matt runs off to save him.
He runs to the other end of the building and comes upon an empty office. He hears what seem to be Greasy's thoughts, but all they're repeating is, "Fourth one over, third one back." Greasy steps out from his hiding place and Matt asks him to get a move on so they can get out of there, but Jessica appears behind him, incongruously wearing a black vest with a black and white printed back. What, did she change after she ripped the handcuffs off the rail? Or is this what Niki is wearing and now this is Niki? No, wait. She picks up Matt and flings him out a window, so it's clearly Jessica. Hm. Maybe Jessica has another superpower to add to her ability to be in two places at once and superstrength: supercostuming. Her costumes change with her moods! So she flings Matt out the window and he lands on top of a sign and he's out for the count. No, he's not dead. Don't worry. He's boring, but he's not dead. As a slew of cops arrive below, Matt comes to and realizes where he is. He fumbles around a bit and almost falls, but he manages to make it up into the building eventually.
Kermit. Claire's paying Firemommy a visit. She wants to see her father, and she won't leave until she does so. Firemommy takes her for a walk in the trailer park, and Claire tells her that her mother is sick and it's bad. Firemommy asks how she can help, and Claire mentions the thing about her birth father having money and power, and she thinks maybe he can help her. Firemommy just blah blahs some shit about Claire's birth father, saying that she can't count on him for anything other than easy money. "He'll just disappoint you," she says. "He doesn't want to meet me?" asks Claire. "Why'd you even tell me about him?" And here's where Firemommy drops a bomb: "Because, he wanted to give us some money. Fifty thousand dollars, Claire. And you're entitled to half of it." Oh, that is so low. Low-balling your daughter on money you blackmailed out of her father. Classy, lady. Really classy. I can't wait until she's dead.
Claire doesn't want his money. Firemommy says that she's going to head back to Mexico once she has the money, and she wants Claire to take care of herself. God, she sucks. Claire gets up to leave, realizing her birth mother's a real shit. Firemommy stops her and takes a picture of her with her cell phone so she can "remember that sweet face." Claire just glares at her and walks off. Back with Matt. He climbs through a window and sees Greasy lying on the floor, basically ripped in half. Like his legs are pointing one way, and his head and torso are lying on top of them. A bunch of cops enter and order Matt to put his hands up. Matt says he's on the job and holds up his bloody hands.
Virginia Beach. Mohinder shows up at Zane's door, only it's not Zane who answers when he knocks. It's Sylar, pretending to be Zane. Not only that, he's wearing Zane's clothes and doing a damn fine impersonation of the boy as well. Sylar invites him in and Mohinder carefully steps around the weird shapes on the plastic sheeting. Sylar goes to put the kettle on, and he's acting distinctly less creepy, so I'm glad he ate Zane's brain or whatever; I like Sylar-as-Zane. Mohinder says he's glad to hear that he's calmer than he sounded on the phone, and Sylar comes back in and says that he had a kind of epiphany that morning. "Are you familiar with Abraham Maslow and the peak experience?" he asks. Mohinder hasn't. "It's uh... a single moment that takes you out of yourself," says Sylar. "Makes you feel very tiny or very large." He goes on to say that it's like seeing all the pieces of a puzzle fit together. He says that he tried to fight it, but he realized that there's no shame in having this ability. He's totally babbling.
Mohinder's kind of like, yeaaaaah. How about you make less with the jaw and show me what you can do, huh? So Sylar grabs a toaster and places it on a plastic-covered table. He warns Mohinder to step back and then he puts his hand on the toaster and it just... melts. "My god," Mohinder whispers. "You wanna see it again?" says Sylar with a touch of his old creepiness.
Kermit. Nathan's limo pulls up outside of Meredith's trailer, and he gets out and goes to the door. She comes out on the porch and invites him in. He immediately apologizes for the way things worked out and, had he known she survived the fire, he would have handled things differently. "I was... a much better person back then," he says. She makes a snide remark about politicians knowing their way around an apology, and then says they were never going to work out as a couple because they come from two different worlds. He sighs heavily and then reaches into his pocket and pulls out an envelope. He slides it over to her, saying that he hopes the money goes toward making up for the fact that he was never there for them. "So... where is she?" he asks. "Claire?" she says, like, no, Bing-Bing the giant panda, dumb-ass. OF COURSE, CLAIRE. God. Meredith lies that Claire just left, and Nathan asks if she wanted to meet him. Meredith says she did and then pulls out the cell phone with the picture of Claire on it. Meredith repeats that she's beautiful and adorable and whatever.
Nathan's like, oh, I'm sure she's beautiful. I don't need to see her. Meredith's like, TAKE THE PHONE, JACKASS. So he does. He looks at Claire's picture as Meredith spreads some more lies around, saying that Claire showed up at her door with her bags all packed, thinking that Nathan was going to save her from her tragic life. As she says all this, we see that Claire is crouched below the window, hearing every duplicitous word. "I told her that you're just here to pay your money and go," says Meredith. Nathan continues to look at Claire's picture as Meredith cocks her head and says, "Did I speak out of turn? I could call her, get her to come back." Claire smiles at this, clearly hoping that her father will say, "Hell yeah! Call her right now! Or, better yet, I have your cell phone, I'LL CALL HER!" But he doesn't say any of that. Instead, he says, "No, you did fine. You did just fine." He closes the phone and says that he should be heading back to his family. His REAL family. Claire skitters off.
Nathan gets into his limo and drives off as Claire hides behind a car and watches him go. She sees a rock and grabs it. As the limo pulls out, Claire chucks the rock at the back window and it hits with a thud. The limo screeches to a halt as Claire beats tracks outta there. Nathan turns around, looking for who did it, but he just sees a bunch of kids behind the car and assumes they did it. As he says this, though, he sniffles and it's clear he's crying. Awwwww. Such a puffball.
Meanwhile, Sylar and Mohinder are still hanging out, staring at all the shit that Sylar's melted. I don't think it's limited to metal stuff, by the way. He seems to be able to melt pretty much anything solid, judging by some of the shapes on his floor. Mohinder asks how he controls this power, and Sylar babbles something about it being wobbly at first and then there's a sense of peace and a feeling of destiny. Yes, but how do you control it, freak-o? He didn't ask you how it feels he asked you how you control it. Sylar's self-evangelizing shtick is getting old.
Mohinder wants to take a DNA sample from him, and Sylar readily agrees. Except, see, he's not really Zane Taylor, so he's going to have to figure out how to get Zane's DNA on the swab Mohinder has handed him. Fortunately for him, he still has Zane's freshly de-brained dead body back in the kitchen, so all he has to do is swab the inside of Zane's mouth and hand over the goods to Mohinder. Easy peasy Japanesey. The tea kettle whistles in the kitchen (whether Sylar actually makes this happen with his telekinesis or whether it just naturally went off isn't actually clear), and Sylar goes to get the tea ready. Oh, and swab the inside of dead Zane's mouth. Mohinder creeps over to the kitchen doorway, but before he can get inside, Sylar pops out and hands him the DNA sample.
They sit again and Mohinder warns Sylar not to talk about his ability to just anyone. Could get him in trouble. People might want to hurt him. "Why would anyone want to hurt me?" asks Sylar. Mohinder's not sure -- but he knows one thing: there are others out there like him. Other people with powers. Sylar pretends to be stunned. He asks how many more there are, and Mohinder says there are dozens that he knows about. But with research, there could be hundreds, nay, thousands! Sylar practically licks his chops in anticipation of all those yummy braaaaaains. Mohinder swears he's going to find all of the Heroes and Sylar inexplicably offers to go with him on his quest. Mohinder's like, uh, Cowboy Suresh travels alone, homes. Sylar keeps blabbling on about how he could help Mohinder convince people to get their DNA tested and come forward with their powers, etc. Mohinder just smiles at him without giving an immediate answer.
Vegas. Ando returns to the kitchen with the pink rhinestone bag. Hope's there, and she calls him over. She calls him her hero, and he says, "I was trapped under a bed. Your boyfriend is very large." Hee. Hope just comments that he's her ex-boyfriend and grabs Ando's hand. She says she needs a ride to her mother's house, which is really the bus station where she's going to catch the bus to her boyfriend, and Ando looks around for Hiro, asking where he is. Hope lies that she took him to the guy who's going to introduce him to Linderman, and Ando's crushed that Hiro didn't wait for him. Hope lies again that Hiro said he didn't really need Ando anymore. Ando smells a rat and he's like, but I didn't give you your bag yet, why would you take him to meet Linder-- Hope just shuts him up with her lips. "Three's a crowd, baby. We gotta go." She grabs his hand and hauls him out of the kitchen. Elsewhere in hotel, Hiro's in a storage closet, trying to bust out through the locked door. He's having no luck. He hears something from outside and starts shouting that he's locked in. The door opens and Tom Cullen's outside with a gun and a badge. He's with the gaming commission. Hiro gives the Spock fingers and says, "I come in peace." Yeah, but you'll go in pieces, dude. Those gaming commission guys don't fuck around.
We cut from Hiro's fingers in a "V" to a "V" created by some yellow crime scene tape. Love those comic book-y moments, y'all. Matt's filling in a cop about how he only saw one shooter, but he knows there were two. The cop doesn't care; he just wants to know where the diamonds are. "You didn't find the case?" Matt asks. "Nope," says the cop in a sarcastic tone. "I guess the incredibly strong killer and her partner must've taken it." Matt looks down at the diamond in his hand and suddenly remembers hearing Greasy say, "Fourth one over, third one back." He goes up to the drop ceiling and finds the case with the diamonds inside. Thrilled, he grabs the black velvet bag and runs to tell his new best cop friend about his discovery. Before he can, however, he hears the cop's inner thoughts and they're not very positive. The cop thinks Matt's a joke who can't even do a decent job as a rent-a-cop and who will never wear a badge again in his life. Matt makes a decision then and there that will probably change his life. He puts the diamonds in his pocket and walks the hell away.
Bennet Family Manse. Claire enters and announces that she's home. There's no response. "To survive in this world," says Mohinder's voice over, "we hold close to us those people on whom we depend. We trust in them our hopes, our fears." Claire makes her way into the kitchen where Mr. Muggles is having a damn cow. Mrs. Bennet is distressed, yelling at Mr. Muggles to go away. Mr. Muggles: "But I'm your baby!" Claire asks her mother what's going on and Mrs. Bennet says, "This mangy thing came at me from out of nowhere. I think it has rabies." Mr. Muggles: "Okay, for one thing, I am not mangy. I am puffy. And I just had a bath and a powder and I smell fabulous. For another, I don't have rabies, bitch. And if I did, I would have had to get it from YOU because I never LEAVE THE HOUSE. And stop waving that damn towel at me. I'm not a bull." Mrs. Bennet flings a potholder at the poor animal. Mr. Muggles: "FINE. I'M LEAVING."
Claire picks him up before he can run out of the room and tells her mother that Mr. Muggles is her dog and that she loves him. "I don't have a dog," says Mrs. Bennet. "I don't know any Mr. Muggles. And I don't know you." She runs out of the room. "But what happens when trust is lost?" says Mohinder's voice over. "Where do we run when the things we believed in vanish before our eyes?" Claire stands alone in the middle of the kitchen with no one but Mr. Muggles for company. Mr. Muggles: "What, I'm not good enough for her? I'm good company! I bark! And I can eat the SHIT outta some garbage!"
Superfamily's Superpad. Jessica's on the phone, talking to who I assume is one of Linderman's people. She says it's time, and the person on the other end of the line tells her that she got a package. She asks Micah if another package arrived, and he says it did and that it's in her bedroom. She opens it up and sneers. "When all seems lost," says Mohinder's voice over, "our future unknowable, our very existence in peril... " Jessica looks at the contents of the package and says she remembers "him." She tells the person on the phone that it won't be a problem and that they should consider it done. We see the photo in her hand and it's Nathan. "All we can do," says Mohinder, "is... run."
on Heroes: Someone flies. Someone dies. No one is safe. Save the cheerleader, save the world. Are you on The List? I... don't know what the catchy tag lines are anymore.