The chefs file back to the dorms following Tavon's ouster, with Guy pissed at Royce, who is too busy being too sexy for his jacket to pay much attention.
Both teams flop out into bed, looking exhausted, so I can't imagine they're pleased to be awoken by some terrible funk-rap band exhorting them "Wake the funk up" and "Get the funk out of bed." In that vein. Shut the funk up!
The teams gather in their pajamas outside, where Ramsay unveils 125 scallops each buried in two mounds of ice. Briana proves she managed to make it to at least one elementary school science class by telling us, "Ice is freezing." Ramsay orders them to get all the scallops. Royce gets a scallop in the face, which perks Guy up, at least. Tiffany, busting out all over the place as she digs, thinks Barbie didn't pull her weight. "Dig, bitch!" she says. Not to Barbie, but to us. Because everyone's tough in the interview.
Inside, in the kitchens, where they're thankgodfully dressed now, Ramsay tells them they have to shuck, clean and cook scallops, since they sucked so hard at it last night. Ramsay demonstrates proper shucking technique. Guy has never opened one before, and he doesn't look impressed. Likewise, Kimmie calls it nasty and disgusting, like she's such an oil painting in the morning.
Anyway, the first team, working in pairs, to cook six perfect scallop dishes wins. The women go for quality while the men go for speed, so the idiot men plate them improperly. Women score a point, while the men bring up a plate of unevenly sized scallops, and the women get another point for another perfect plate. Justin decides to take matters into his own hands, which a person shouldn't do if he's useless. The women build up five points to zip.
"The men need a miracle to catch up, but right now they'll have to settle for Guy and Royce." Nice job, sarcastic voiceover guy! The men finally score their first point, and Patrick and Chris bring up another good plate. Then the women bring up some mismatched scallops and are starting to feel the pressure. Barbie and Tiffany bring up the clinching plate -- cooked beautifully by Barbie, who supplied half of the Red Team's winning plates -- and the women celebrate with hugs and cheers. One of the women says, "Sorry, guys!" and Barbie misses the sarcasm and says she's not sorry, because they worked hard.
Their prize: a trip to Catalina via yacht. They scream with excitement, although one of the women is concerned because she didn't bring her passport. It's OK, dear. California recently signed a cross-border movement agreement with the United States. You should be fine.
As per usual, the men need to clean both kitchens and ice in the parking lot, and they've also got to shell, devein and clean some heavy-duty prawns. Patrick mutters something about being stuck with some "half-assed jabronis" not pulled their weight. "Jabronis," says this man, who is forty years old.
The women taunt the parking lot-cleaning men as they head out on their trip. Barbie mocks Robyn for bringing up her fiancée (female, apparently, just in case it comes up) when they've got a chance to pick Ramsay's brain. Back at Hell's Kitchen, the men have apparently finished cleaning, so they're rewarded with scallop shakes made from all the shitty leftovers they couldn't plate in the morning's challenge. Royce, who couldn't cook spaghetti, wants to prove how intense he is by jumping down Brian's throat for not being serious enough.
Meanwhile, the women go ziplining, with Roshni getting stranded in the center. "This is not funny!" she screams, while EVERYONE disagrees. Briana says it was priceless for them all to hang out and bond with each other, which is kinda sweet.
The women show up suntanned and sunburned back at Hell's Kitchen for some post-outing taunting of the men, working in the kitchen. As is their right.
So much for the bonding! The morning, Barbie and Robyn start getting on each other's nerves, with Robyn telling us that Barbie's SO LUCKY they're not in the hood right now. Barbie: lucky to escape homicide at the hands of Robyn, I guess. Kimmie's aware that the men seem to be sick of losing and look quite focused.
Time for the pre-service pep talk. It's brief: Ramsay tells them it's about pride. Yay for pride! James opens up, and we're off.
Ramsay has ordered a tableside appetizer of shrimp scampi, handled by Christina and Brian. Brian seems lost.
In the kitchen, Ramsay is scaring the hell out of Don, who responds with an appetizer pizza that's burnt on top and raw underneath. Patrick calls him (to us) a dumbass. Meanwhile, Kimmie's served up a great pizza, but Briana fucks up the risotto badly enough that Ramsay gathers everyone around to show them that the three risottos for one table are three different shades of shit.
Guy, meanwhile, serves up a delicious risotto and Don gets the pizza right, so the appetizers start heading out, and Brian seems to be getting his act together -- or seems to be, until a horrified James brings back a plate of scampi to the kitchen for Ramsay's inspection, and Ramsay starts bellowing for Brian, who's serving customers in the upstairs area. "He's not calling me downstairs to tell me my dish was great," he says. Nope. He's got raw and overcooked scampi at the same table, and he's got to start all over again.
But the Red Team has yet to serve a single appetizer. Barbie cooks better than she counts, because she serves up eight scallops for two orders when they need ten. It seems like a momentary setback. She serves up a couple more and the order gets off.
Chris, meanwhile, seems completely discombobulated by having to cook up four orders. He opts for four different pans for the orders, and when they're sent up to the pass, he goes ballistic. He orders the Blue Team to come touch them, and it's only AFTER that that he makes them sit at a table and choke them down before they get back to work.
Barbie's scallop-cooking streak comes to an end when she serves up two plates of overcooked ones, and Robyn's all too happy to proclaim that everything Barbie touches turns to shit. Seems like Robyn's forgotten how responsible Barbie was for earning them yesterday's yachting and zipline trip.
The men are on a little thinner ice than Barbie is with Ramsay though. "God help anybody, if ANYTHING'S wrong with this ticket," he yells at them, and then freaks out when the men send six to the line to cook the scallops, but at least they get the ticket right and the appetizers are starting to move out tickety-boo. For the men, the fact that any Blue diners are getting anything to eat at all tonight means they've already improved upon their last service.
Time for the entrees! Robyn asks Barbie how long for the sea bass, and Barbie tells her "Two minutes!" and then gets annoyed because when she said, "Two minutes?" Barbie failed to say, "Yes." Or something. Barbie serves up overcooked bass to go with Robyn's undercooked lamb. Robyn blames Barbie for fucking her on the timing.
Over in Blue, Chris wants to put himself back on the map. But since he's serving up raw fish, the only map he's getting on is hanging at the Centers for Disease Control. Royce also seems to be screwing up mashed potatoes, and then a tinkly piano underlies an interview in which he tearfully apologizes to Ramsay for disappointing him. You keep waiting for the punchline, like maybe he grabs his crotch and then expresses again how amazing he is, but it doesn't happen.
Two hours into dinner service, and neither team has sent out an entrée. Red Team is falling apart largely because they have no leader and communication has completely broken down. Ramsay orders them all out of the kitchen, and then it looks Ramsay decides to cook everything himself, which I'd enjoy watching.
Back in the dorms, the Red Team continue screaming at each other, Robyn calling Barbie a bitch and Tiffany slamming a pan of something to the floor while screeching and Barbie asking, "What is wrong with you?" because seriously, what is wrong with Tiffany?
If there's a homicide, we don't get to see it, but I think we probably ought to do a headcount, just to make sure. Blue Team doesn't last much longer, because Ramsay gets a piece of overcooked steak. "I'm opening a steakhouse in Vegas," he reminds them all before sending them off to the dorms too. "Just give us another shot!" Royce says (to us), although I think he means, "Just give us a fifteenth shot!" James makes his apologies to the hungry diners, who are all sent on their way.
Once the chefs have reassembled, Ramsay yells things like "ridiculous" and "embarrassing" and "catastrophiscallop!" OK, I made up that last one. But he is pissed about the scallop meltdown because of how much time they spent on it.
The losing team. The women. And the men! Ramsay characterizes them, respectively, as a sinking ship and a runaway train. He orders each team to come up with two individuals to be eliminated, and ends with a classic "Fuck off, all of you."
In the Blue Team's discussion, Chris takes responsibility for the scallops and puts himself up for elimination, with respectful agreement from the rest of the team. Things are a little more contentious for the Red Team, some of whom seem to be screaming at Barbie. "Nobody wants your bitch-ass here!" Tiffany informs us. Tiffany's a strong contender for the Least Likable Contestant award already. This despite the fact that Barbie seems willing to go up for elimination. Kimmie yells something about being from Memphis and calls Barbie a "ho." Sorry, Tiffany, pass that trophy on to Kimmie. Christina interjects to let them all know that since they have one nominee now they might want to figure out who ELSE Kimmie needs to call a "ho" and say something about Memphis.
Dana tells us they all want Barbie to go home, and she convenes a side-committee meeting to say she doesn't think anyone else warrants being eliminated, so they'll nominate Roshni, which would mean Ramsay wouldn't have any choice but to sack Barbie.
This despite the fact that at the VERY LAST ELIMINATION, Ramsay eviscerated the men for nominating someone who didn't deserve it and picked another candidate himself. I swear, the heat in the kitchen is cooking off some brain cells in here. Roshni doesn't seem entirely happy with the decision. She points out to us that that's not what Ramsay asked them to do. Too bad she doesn't appear to stick up for herself with the other women.
Blue Team is circling around Don for the second nomination, but Chris, speaking with the authority granted someone who volunteered to come forward, said Royce had a worse service than Don. Royce angrily says if they think he sucked then they can send him up there and he'll defend his "honor" because he thinks of himself as some sort of mystical kitchen samurai, I guess. Guy, though, relishes the chance to jump on Royce for not manning up.
The teams assemble back in Hell's Kitchen, and the Red Team put forward their nominees. Upon hearing Roshni's name, Ramsay says he just wants to clarify that they think Barbie and Roshni are the worst chefs on their team. They do.
As for the Blue Team: the first nominee is Chris, as we know, and the second nominee -- is going to be revealed after the commercial break. Annoying as usual, because the real cliffhanger is who's going to be eliminated, not nominated.
Anyway, eventually we find out that the second nominee is Royce, based on his performance on garnish station.
Ramsay calls them all forward, and then starts with Roshni, who kinda amusingly is as all "search me" when Ramsay asks why she's up there. Hey, we needed two nominees, she tells Ramsay, who seeks confirmation from Dana, who admits that they could not come to a consensus on a second person to eliminate. Barbie says she doesn't plan on making the same mistakes again, and, under questioning from Ramsay, says she thinks Robyn and Kimmie are the worst on the team (Kimmie because she brings down the morale).
As for the Blue Team, Ramsay prefaces Royce's comments by telling him that he's gaining a bad reputation. He doesn't think his performance warrants him being the worst chef on the team. Ramsay brilliantly points out that the gentlemen behind him do, though, and that's why he's up there. Chris, meanwhile, says he's a strong cook and a passion to be there. He confesses to being frazzled working on the scallops. "I'm deeply sorry that a non-stick pan and three scallops frazzled your mind," says Ramsay.
Ramsay sends Roshni and Royce back into line, and then tells Barbie and Chris that they should both be going home. But his decision is "Barbie ... back in line." Jesus, he doesn't have to do this EVERY time. Good god, Barbie's smirk the second he sends her back indicates she didn't buy it either. The Red Team's not pleased with seeing Barbie return, needless to say.
Chris steps forward to surrender his jacket to Ramsay, who tells him that if he's frazzled at this stage of the game, there's no way he's going to make it to Vegas. Outside, Chris admits to cracking under pressure. Bet he's wondering if it was such a good idea now to so cheerfully offer his own neck to the guillotine.
Ramsay tells the survivors they're getting a big surprise tomorrow and orders them to piss off, which is practically a term of endearment compared to the verbal abuse they've been getting recently. Robyn calls Barbie the devil and says they're all going to make her life hell. Or maybe you could resolve to work together better to improve your chances at winning? After Don amusingly tells us he's sick of losing and wants to go outside and "see a flower," Barbie warns that at the end of all this, there's only going to be one person standing, and it's going to be her.
"I'm sure that Chris prays that he never sees another scallop, and after tonight, I pray I don't see any more of him," Ramsay tells us. I hope for his sake Chris didn't draw Ramsay's name out of the Season 10 Secret Santa hat.
Daniel is a writer in Newfoundland with a wife and a daughter. After spaghetti and mashed potatoes, maybe Royce can screw up toast week. Follow him on Twitter (@DanMacEachern) or email him at danieljdaniel[at]gmail.com.