Last episode, I used this spot at the top of the recap to complain about how the top four aren't all that inspiring. So here they are again! On the plus side, two of them will be going away at the end of the episode.
Gordon Ramsay's Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 5, which might be a new low
Contestants' Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 18, also awfully low
Episodes left after this one: 1
Holli is very affected by getting to hold her kid, and she tries to get some common ground with Benjamin about the way they've both got cute kids. Not much happens, though. The morning, we get yet another shot of Autumn in her underwear because Sous Chef ... Andi? Is that the female one this season? Let's say it is. Sous Chef Andi called the dorms and told everyone to dress up because Gordon had something special. When they all appear in the dining room, Gordon mocks Jay for being dressed like a slob. he's not just dressed like a slob; I think he really is a slob.
Gordon explains that he can't take them to the Savoy Grill right now, since the hotel is undergoing renovation. So instead, he sits them down and feeds them food while talking about how great the Savoy is. And then he tells them they've got 45 minutes to recreate the dish. None of them look surprised, because they're not entirely dim.
Autumn is convinced that it's venison. So is Holli (spelled "Holly" in the captions) and Ben, although Jay is cooking three different meats and will decide which one is closest when he's done. As for the puree, everyone but Jay is doing apple while he's doing pear. Everyone but Autumn does pancetta while Autumn does bacon. Holli sneers about this while admitting that she was keeping an eye on everyone else. Jay reports that he's doing beef, not venison. He recognizes that he could look like an asshole if he's wrong. "Asshole" is mysteriously unbleeped.
Autumn is mysteriously confident. She says she was thinking "I can win this! I can win this!" the whole time.
Chef Ramsay tastes the dishes. He tells everyone that the food was cooked correctly. Jay was the only one who used pear, and he was correct. And his decision to use flank steak instead of venison was... wrong. Bzzzt! So none of our top four chefs got the dish entirely correct. The top two were Benjamin and Holli, which practically brings Autumn to tears. Chef Ramsay declares Holli and Ben very close, but eventually settles on Holli as the winner based on Ben's slightly watery sauce. Ben, of course, tells us that he should have won because he's the best cook.
Holli's reward is to go on a luxury yacht, where she will be "sunbathing her bits and bobs." he other three will clean the dorms. And this time, that means getting rid of the excess stuff associated with all the other cooks.
Ben blathers on again about how great he is and how Holli is awful. Jay agrees that either of them could crush Holli. Both of them are wrong. Holli enters a stretch limo, where JP is waiting. The loser chefs have to break down bed frames and pack up mattresses and so on. This is a good idea! It saves the crew the trouble of striking the set. When Holli reaches the yacht, it has her son and her son's father. She is delighted! It looks like she's having a pretty good time.
Jay complains about Autumn talking. Tensions are running high by this point in the season. Although she does appear to talk a lot. Holli helps explain her family situation: Phil is her best friend and her son's dad. Although she doesn't say this part, it's clear that anything else is none of our business. When Holli gets back, she pitches in with the work and enrages Ben by mentioning that she spent time with her family. Ben, who is convinced he should win everything, picks up a box grumpily and grouses about how he was cheated out of a few hours with his wife.
The morning, Ben's back is messed up. The show thinks he might have pulled a muscle by picking up a box wrong. He is very concerned about the state of his lower back and shoulders. He looks really down, and when the other three go downstairs for prep he stays in his chair. This has to be killing him, since you don't want to be cut this late in the game. Still, I'd think this is a situation where a handful of Vicodin would do wonders.
The non-Ben chefs proceed to do prep. Autumn wonders why Ben would "go all-out" on a punishment but not prep. We are treated to a shot of Benjamin snoring while everyone else does the prep. There's another shot of him in the hot tub, which might be a good idea. Finally he talks to the medic, who asks what Ben wants them to do. He says he's upset. Not helpful. Then he asks for a chiropractor and tells him he doesn't think he can cook. The chiropractor assures him, "If you wanna do it, I'll make sure you do it." I'm telling you, a handful of Vicodin. He only has two dinner services to get through.
Bet gets rotated, folded, cracked, and generally chiropracted. The other three sit in the patio and openly hope he quits. Holli tells us that if she lost both hands, she'd cook with her feet. Ben is sent away from his treatment and tells us that he's still in a lot of pain. He can't cook on the line in this condition. He congratulates Jay and Holli and shakes their hands. He appears to skip Autumn, which is not classy. Everyone is happy, although they're a little concerned about how service will go. Jay sums it up: "I'm not gonna kick the guy downstairs... but [bleep] him." Do you think Jay was making a Showgirls reference?
Before service, Jay, Autumn and Holli tell Sous Chef Scott that apparently it's just the three of them. Ben interviews that he has to tell Chef Ramsay that he can't reach things or bend over. As he says this on the voice-over, we see him getting ready and putting on his chef's jacket. And, importantly, bending over to get something. The editors put in a magical-sounding chime as he does this.
From the kitchen, everyone sees Ben go up the stairs to Gordon's office. Benjamin tells him that he pulled his back out and can't compete. Gordon tells him that it's the finals and he believes in him and so on. "The ball's in your court," he tells him. So Benjamin goes down to the kitchen and announces that he's going to cook tonight. Holli is ticked off that he blew off prep and now he's okay to cook. Autumn is excited about beating him face-to-face, although she should remember that she's done that several times and it's made no dent in his smug sense of superiority.
Tonight's gimmick is that each of them will be running the kitchen for some of the time. I love that gimmick, because it's when the sous chefs sabotage them. Okay, let's go!
Things go all right at first, and then it's time for Jay to run the pass. He calls out the ticket clearly and loudly. His communication skills are strong. Benjamin is doing a lot of ducking and bending over, which ticks Jay off. Sous Chef Scott substitutes lobster for the crab, and Jay catches it on a tasting. Then Scott sabotages another dish, and Jay gleefully calls him on it. Benjamin thinks that Jay does really well (he does!) and that he, Ben, is awesome (he's not!).
Holli's turn on the pass. She stalls a little on calling out the first ticket, and Chef Ramsay is in her ear rushing her. JP brings her a six-top with only five entrees and she doesn't catch it. Chef Ramsay is all over her for this. And when she falls behind a little, she's just calling out "How long?" and not getting a response. Jay doesn't help by accidentally spilling a risotto all over Chef Ramsay. Well, that's why they wear aprons, right?
Sous Chef Scott brings up some scallops for Holli that she realizes are cooked on one side only. Staying in character, Scott claims, "I thought we only cooked them on one side." Really, dude? Seven seasons of sous-cheffing and that's what you thought? He's not even trying to be convincing.
Ben's turn! He shows no pain at all as he calls out the dishes. His first sabotage goes uncaught, since he doesn't realize that Scott slipped him venison in the lamb wellington. And he recognizes that some beef is rare, but doesn't realize that it's New York Strip, not filet. He thinks he did great, of course.
Autumn is up. No one shouts "Yes, chef!" when she calls out the ticket, and she makes them do it. Everyone's a little grumpy about that, and it looks like she catches an actual non-sabotage mistake by JP. She misses a substituted parsnip and makes the mistake of laughing when it's pointed out. Chef Ramsay doesn't like that. This isn't funny! This is deadly serious. Then she tightens up a lot, sending food back from the pass a lot. Possibly too much, frankly. She's not making any friends here. She even gets on Sous Chef Scott's nerves.
Chef Ramsay takes over the pass for the last two tables. Food goes out and the team gets complimented. Jay and Holli snipe about Ben: "It's ironic how Ben had a great night tonight." "Yeah, that's weird. Didn't look like his back hurt."
Chef Ramsay tells them he's sad to send two of them home. And he sends them upstairs to decide who's going home. Jay tells Autumn he's voting for her. Ben goes on his usual thing about telling her she doesn't deserve to be here. He also tells everyone he's busted his ass harder than anyone else, which prompts Holli to tell him that he quit on everyone. You know the drill. The show doesn't find this any more interesting than I do, and everyone soon arrives in the dining room.
Gordon says that he doesn't want to hear their decision (he doesn't care about it at the best of times, really), but that he wants to hear from each of them why they should be in the final two. Ben: "Technically I'm a good chef" and "I think I'm the best chef here." Jay: "I've never had a bad service" and "I'm super-passionate." Autumn: "I haven't had a golden ride here" and "I've never quit." Holli: "I've never been kicked out of the kitchen" and "I've never been up for elimination". Holli makes a strong argument, in my opinion.
The first person out is Autumn. She gets lavishly complimented but shown the door. She seems pleased with her performance.
Now it's time to announce the first person in the final. I think Holli is the most obvious finalist, but Jay is announced, presumably so we can have Holli and Benjamin staring daggers at each other for the final elimination. Congratulations, Jay.
And the other person in the finals is... long pause... longer pause... Holli! And there's another long pause while we wait to see if it's a swerve. It's not! Ben's out. His final instruction from Gordon is something about not quitting. Frankly, I don't care if Ben quits or not, as long as he stays off my television. And I say that with the knowledge that he'll probably be back week to be on someone's cooking team.
So we're down to the finalists: Jay and Holli. They are sent upstairs to work on their final menus. The show is very concerned that we pay attention to the love subplot.
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You can email Monty at montykins@gmail.com if that's your idea of a good time.