Okay, I just found out I have surprise tickets to a secret midnight showing of Star Trek, so let's make this quick. There's a lot of planning, a small amount of cooking, and then the whole thing ends in a "To Be Continued."
...what?
Oh, fine. Regular weecap commencing... now!
Gordon Ramsay's Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 0
Contestants' Bleep-O-Fucking-Meter: 9
Length of the Previouslies: Ten minutes!
Previously: Everyone but Danny and Paula went home. Most of them deserved it, but I still feel bad for Ji, who went down with a twisted ankle. Read the recaps if you want more details.
Chef Ramsay congratulates Paula and Danny for being the final two, and two giant banners drop from the ceiling of the dining room. Their faces appear on the banners to indicate who gets what side. Paula's on the left, where the red team used to be. They're each supposed to design a menu and a restaurant. Finally, Ramsay fondly tells them to piss off. There aren't a lot of people who can do that fondly, but he pulls it off. Off they go.
Danny is happy, as is Paula. We see them going up the stairs to the dorms, which proves that they really are upstairs. They both decide to leave the planning until tomorrow and have a bottle of champagne. And another. Paula's plan is to drink until she passes out. Now, I'm not a drinker myself, but I have been told by those who are that a champagne hangover is among the worst and most painful of all hangovers. It's also the most glamorous, though. So that's something. They started the champagne at around 11:30, and they appear to keep going until 1:30 or so. We see a crescent moon (!) to mark the passage of time, and then it's 6:30 am.
Danny gets out of bed with no shirt on (for the ladies!) and both Danny and Paula look a little under the weather. Paula assures us in an interview that "this is nothing!" because she's 28 years old. Well, okay. I'm not sure getting blind drunk the night before the Most Important Night of Your Reality Show is a good idea, but whatever.
We see Paula awake, wearing her chef clothes, and covering a notebook with ideas. Danny, however, is still shirtless and hung over and has no ideas at all.
The two chefs look speculatively at the dining room, which has magically grown a giant wall down the middle. They will be meeting with John Janavs, who we are told is the Architect & Designer of Hell's Kitchen. Paula wants both booths and tables, but no "foo-foo things". Danny says he wants one long bench seat along the center wall, and John suggests using it in "a more dimensional way." I have no idea what that means, and neither does Danny. John goes on about getting "more dynamic room". Paula wants candles. Danny will be serving seafood, so he'd like some mounted fish on the wall. John explains as tactfully as he can (which isn't very) that mounted fish is more "Bob's Bait Shop" than "High-End Fine Dining". In an interview, Danny claims that a big, mounted marlin can still be elegant. Well, sure, if it's wearing a top hat and a monocle.
Paula's restaurant will be named "Sunergy." Not "Synergy," which would be bad enough, but "Sunergy." Danny likes either "Velvet Hammer" (which he claims is his nickname) or "Susan Marie," which is the name of his mother, who passed away a few years ago. Look, I know all about the "...Without Pity" in our name, but I think I'm not going to make any jokes about the guy's dead mother, if that's okay.
Okay, enough frivolities. It's menu time. Danny meets with Scott in the Blue Kitchen, and Paula meets with Gloria in the Red Tent. I mean "Kitchen." Red kitchen.
Paula tells us that she's purposely not gone overboard, because she knows that she'll probably have a staff made up of the people who got kicked off the show and she wants to make sure she can deliver the food. Gloria agrees that that's something to keep in mind. As Danny goes over his menu with Scott, he seems particularly proud of his Caribbean jerked lobster with chili-lime tomatillo salsa, telling us that it's one of his signature dishes and that he can nail it. He's won awards! Meanwhile, Paula's signature dish is a warm mushroom salad.
Chef Ramsay arrives to talk to both of them. He assures them that the 24 hours will be crucial. But first, they'll be flying to Atlantic City. And to make sure the restaurants don't go unattended, he's brought in two advisors for each of them. The advisors will be Danny and Paula's eyes and ears while they're away.
The advisors will not be revealed until after the commercials. This all seems like irrelevant fake drama, since all Ramsay cares about is the cooking. If the restaurant looks bad, what does he care?
Anyway, Paula's advisors are her mother and sister. Danny gets his father and girlfriend. Danny interviews: "Designing a dining room, I think I definitely have an edge. My dad's been building houses forever, and my chick knows my style, so if I had to leave two people in charge, there they are." So they have five minutes to convey their alleged visions to their assistants. Danny babbles about boxes coming out of the wall, and Paula emphasizes that pink is Right Out. That's pretty much all they have time for before Gordon comes in and insists that the plane is waiting.
Back to the private jet. More champagne. Gordon makes Danny talk about his signature dish from episode one, which was "Mahi goes bananas". More blue-tinged flashbacks to episodes gone by.
Back in Hell's Kitchen, construction workers are constructing things. This is where the meaningless "problems" always crop up. Paula, for example, wanted candles along the wall behind the booths, but the Fire Marshall says no. So her sister and mother have to sign off on the fake electronic candles. They're fine with that. Meanwhile, Danny's girlfriend is actively involved, asking for taller backs on benches and more water elements and so on.
Paula and Danny arrive at the Borgata and get a big, stupid suite with giant bedrooms and bathtubs and stuff. They videoconference with their people, and we learn that Danny also wants taller backs on his booths. And his girlfriend has some fish. Yay? Paula's sister says she was confused but assures Paula that everything will be fine.
The morning, Michael Facenda, Director of Marketing for the Borgata, goes to Danny and Paula's suite and brings them to what's described as an "important meeting". Really, it's 500 resort employees being ordered to applaud them as they walk onto a stage with Gordon Ramsay. Cheer, employees! Now sign this NDA!
Paula and Danny give vague speeches about how it's been a long journey to get here and both express the hope that they'll win. Then they meet Larry Mullin, the COO of the Borgata. It has all the raw excitement you'd expect from two finalists on a cooking reality show meeting the COO of an Atlantic City resort hotel. He's given the two menus and gives his order from each one. Among his orders, he likes the mushroom salad from Paula's and the jerked lobster from Danny's. What a coincidence! Anyway, they're given Executive Chef Jackets and sent off to cook the two sets of orders in 45 minutes. Go!
Danny boasts about how clever he is to jerk a lobster tail, and asserts that he has "a really crisp identity to my style". It looks like the Borgata crowd is getting to watch the chefs on a giant monitor, which looks like fun. Paula brags about her broad and varied experience.
The cooking is done. The first person to taste it is Michael Shulson, who's executive chef at one of the places at the Borgata. He's not crazy about either of the signature dishes, eventually choosing Paula. up, Geoffrey Zakarian, who is another Borgata-affiliated chef. Paula's got a mussel soup (or something; she was just listing the ingredients instead of describing the dish as a whole) and Danny has a baby arugula salad. Weird that the salads weren't up against each other, isn't it? Danny wins this one, making it 1-1 and it's all down to the third course. Just like it always is! The final test will be Larry Mullin himself. Paula's got a roasted black sea bass, which is "good". Danny's got a pan-seared filet of beef, which is "done very well". Larry stalls a little and then chooses Danny. Danny wins! The music is very happy for him!
Gordon tells Paula and Danny they'll find out the prize later, but now they have to rush back to the airport and fly back to Hell's Kitchen. Ugh.
Back at Hell's Kitchen, it's 19 hours until the final dinner service. Danny and Paula come in and look at all the work that's been done. Their eyes and ears (remember? The relatives from earlier in the show?) stand by, hoping they've done a good job. Paula claims to like it, mostly because there's no pinks, purples, or pastels. She accepts her fake candles gracefully (they're behind some smoked glass anyway), saying "My focus should remain in the kitchen, not in the dining room. I just wanna make sure that I put out good food, and that's gonna determine the winner." Yes. That is true. None of this matters at all.
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Danny is happy about some fish on the wall, forces John to agree to have booths along the wall, and obsesses about whether there's enough stained oak for his booth plan. Then there are hugs as the relatives (and girlfriend) leave and Paula and Danny go up to the dorms and go to sleep.
Half moon. Well, at least they're mixing it up a bit in this episode!
The morning, it's on. Paula is jazzed. Danny talks about his "biggest test". They go down to the dining room, where Gordon, Scott, and Gloria are behind a long table with six large domes on it. It is immediately obvious that the chefs who have left us are hiding under the table with their heads under the domes, and that Gordon will soon be lifting the domes and there will be a lot of theatrics about the funny, funny prank. So let's get on with it.
Chef Ramsay tells them that it's the most important night of their entire lives, and that there are key ingredients under the domes. He counts down from three, at which he, Scott, and Gloria remove the domes. The predicted theatrics ensue.
Okay, so now we're in the kitchen and the six potential brigade members are lined up: Andrea, LA, Ben, Lacey, Carol, and Giovanni. Danny won the challenge, so he gets to pick first. More importantly, that means that Paula will have last pick, so he'll get to stick her with Lacey. I'm guessing. Let's find out together, shall we?
Danny picks Ben. Paula picks Andrea. Danny takes Giovanni. Paula takes LA. Danny has a choice between Lacey and Carol. He takes Carol, leaving Paula with Lacey. Lacey is already drama-ing it up about being picked last in gym class. Andrea looks like she will cut Lacey's throat if she gets in Paula's way. I think that's a good role for Andrea. She'll knock some heads together to keep things going right.
The teams are sent up to the dorms to go through the menu and make sure everything's together. Danny's plan is to emphasize that he's no longer a co-worker; he's the chef and they're the brigade.
week: cooking!
The latest book on Monty's blog Monty on Movie Novelizations is Star Wars. Shut up. It's awesome. You can email him at montykins@gmail.com if that's your idea of a good time.
Watch full episodes of Hell's Kitchen for free on TWoP!
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Danny is happy about some fish on the wall, forces John to agree to have booths along the wall, and obsesses about whether there's enough stained oak for his booth plan. Then there are hugs as the relatives (and girlfriend) leave and Paula and Danny go up to the dorms and go to sleep.
Half moon. Well, at least they're mixing it up a bit in this episode!
The morning, it's on. Paula is jazzed. Danny talks about his "biggest test". They go down to the dining room, where Gordon, Scott, and Gloria are behind a long table with six large domes on it. It is immediately obvious that the chefs who have left us are hiding under the table with their heads under the domes, and that Gordon will soon be lifting the domes and there will be a lot of theatrics about the funny, funny prank. So let's get on with it.
Chef Ramsay tells them that it's the most important night of their entire lives, and that there are key ingredients under the domes. He counts down from three, at which he, Scott, and Gloria remove the domes. The predicted theatrics ensue.
Okay, so now we're in the kitchen and the six potential brigade members are lined up: Andrea, LA, Ben, Lacey, Carol, and Giovanni. Danny won the challenge, so he gets to pick first. More importantly, that means that Paula will have last pick, so he'll get to stick her with Lacey. I'm guessing. Let's find out together, shall we?
Danny picks Ben. Paula picks Andrea. Danny takes Giovanni. Paula takes LA. Danny has a choice between Lacey and Carol. He takes Carol, leaving Paula with Lacey. Lacey is already drama-ing it up about being picked last in gym class. Andrea looks like she will cut Lacey's throat if she gets in Paula's way. I think that's a good role for Andrea. She'll knock some heads together to keep things going right.
The teams are sent up to the dorms to go through the menu and make sure everything's together. Danny's plan is to emphasize that he's no longer a co-worker; he's the chef and they're the brigade.
week: cooking!
The latest book on Monty's blog Monty on Movie Novelizations is Star Wars. Shut up. It's awesome. You can email him at montykins@gmail.com if that's your idea of a good time.
Watch full episodes of Hell's Kitchen for free on TWoP!
1 2 3
Danny is happy about some fish on the wall, forces John to agree to have booths along the wall, and obsesses about whether there's enough stained oak for his booth plan. Then there are hugs as the relatives (and girlfriend) leave and Paula and Danny go up to the dorms and go to sleep.
Half moon. Well, at least they're mixing it up a bit in this episode!
The morning, it's on. Paula is jazzed. Danny talks about his "biggest test". They go down to the dining room, where Gordon, Scott, and Gloria are behind a long table with six large domes on it. It is immediately obvious that the chefs who have left us are hiding under the table with their heads under the domes, and that Gordon will soon be lifting the domes and there will be a lot of theatrics about the funny, funny prank. So let's get on with it.
Chef Ramsay tells them that it's the most important night of their entire lives, and that there are key ingredients under the domes. He counts down from three, at which he, Scott, and Gloria remove the domes. The predicted theatrics ensue.
Okay, so now we're in the kitchen and the six potential brigade members are lined up: Andrea, LA, Ben, Lacey, Carol, and Giovanni. Danny won the challenge, so he gets to pick first. More importantly, that means that Paula will have last pick, so he'll get to stick her with Lacey. I'm guessing. Let's find out together, shall we?
Danny picks Ben. Paula picks Andrea. Danny takes Giovanni. Paula takes LA. Danny has a choice between Lacey and Carol. He takes Carol, leaving Paula with Lacey. Lacey is already drama-ing it up about being picked last in gym class. Andrea looks like she will cut Lacey's throat if she gets in Paula's way. I think that's a good role for Andrea. She'll knock some heads together to keep things going right.
The teams are sent up to the dorms to go through the menu and make sure everything's together. Danny's plan is to emphasize that he's no longer a co-worker; he's the chef and they're the brigade.
week: cooking!
The latest book on Monty's blog Monty on Movie Novelizations is Star Wars. Shut up. It's awesome. You can email him at montykins@gmail.com if that's your idea of a good time.
Watch full episodes of Hell's Kitchen for free on TWoP!
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