By Montykins
Chef Ramsay says that he has "arranged something unique" for the blue team: they're going to a spa to relax. Well, that's not really all that unique. Lots of people do it. It's not even the first spa-based reward this season. It is the (mostly) men's team going to the spa this time. Danny tells us that he ain't never been to no spa.
The cheese controversy continues, and Chef Ramsay tells the red team they'll be getting the dining room ready for the bar mitzvah. And Max's grandmother introduces Jean-Philippe to the person he'll be working with: a man who appears to be wearing a velour jacket and says "Bonjour, darling!" It's Francisco the Extremely Gay Party Planner from last season, and JP is not thrilled to see him. They have an obviously staged confrontation and Francisco is let loose on the contestants. The word "fabulous" is used many times, but I have seen every episode of RuPaul's Drag Race, and I am here to tell you: Francisco has a long way to go. LA: "I'm gay. That dude is parade gay." Seriously. I also recap Ugly Betty, and Francisco is flouncier than Suzuki St. Pierre and Marc St. James rolled into one.
Anyway, the red team gets to redecorating. And the blue team gets facials and scrubs and things, which they emphasize they have never had before. J goes into a frenzy of third-person telling us all the things that J has never done. If you don't like Robert, you will probably not enjoy the shot of him getting loofahed. The red team has some trouble setting up the dance floor (it's made up of several separate squares) because Carol and Andrea hate each other and can't work together. Lacey, the only woman on the blue team, is the only one apparently allowed to enjoy being rubbed down with oil without having to tell us how weird it was.
The red team continues to have trouble with the dance floor until someone notices that it's actually a basketball court. Paula tells us that the light in her brain is flashing, which I believe is a sign of epilepsy. The dance floor finally comes together, which is a process that involves hammering.
As the blue team returns, shouting "Mazel tov!", the red team is filling balloons and rolling their eyes at the way the blue team is wearing sunglasses inside. The blue team enthusiastically and obnoxiously goes off to get in the red team. And we get a shot of the moon, which, astonishingly, is full. I know! What are the odds that after pretending the moon is full every single night, we'd see another shot of the moon, and it would still be full? Anyway, it's back to work for everyone. The night's menu will include the regular menu (you know, the one they keep screwing up) as well as the three winning dishes. Danny asks Ben if a bar mitzvah is "the chair deal", and Ben agrees that it's "the Jews' signature move."
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