Like Elton John Always Says…

S09E06

Cristina is back! She's back and she's awesome! Unfortunately Owen can barely manage to speak two words to her, but there will be time to figure that out. She's totally impressed that Mere is now Medusa but tries to get some of her own street cred back by giving her interns Smash and Heather unflattering dwarf names. The new head of cardio is too busy to bother with teaching her or even to really work with her at all and instead basically gives her free rein to do whatever she wants to. The first patient she sees needs immediate emergency surgery and she has Smash and Heather scrub in which makes them go from hating her to loving her; then once they are inside the OR, it turns out she's become a pretty great teacher in her own right. They save the guy's life but after the surgery Owen chews her out for doing this massive surgery on her own without a consult from her new boss, Dr. Russell, and suspects she's going to be fired when he finds out what happened. Actually, though, Dr. R is super pleased with what she did, thanks her, and then tells Owen that he can see why he fought so hard to have Cristina hired back. Aaaawkward, since Cristina had assumed from Owen's distant behavior that he didn't actually want her back there and she'd just confronted him about it. So the I love you/I can't be with you dance between these two begins anew.

Mere has made a deal with Alex to sell him her old house but when he comes to her with a list of cosmetic repairs she needs to make she refuses since they already made a deal. The two argue all episode long until finally she explains the story behind each of those blemishes and how much they mean to her. Alex decides it's all cool and he'll take the house as-is, so they shake on it. He's shocked when he gets to his new home for the first time and finds Cristina settled in on a makeshift bed in the middle of the floor. She can't handle all of the memories at the firehouse so she asks Alex if she can be his roommate. After he gets in a good gloat about Cristina finally needing something from him, he agrees to let her stay.

Oh, and they are totally still setting up some sort of coupling between Alex and Princess Kate. She spends the episode trying to figure out what is wrong with a homeless man who regularly shows up to vomit on the doctors but whose tests are always negative. Kate cleans the guy up so he looks presentable and teaches Owen an Important Lesson about giving equal care to everyone. Of course it turns out that he does have some very rare and hard to diagnose condition; at the same time she finally earns some respect from Alex and maybe starts to think he's not as bad as she first thought either.

April and Jackson are still hooking up but each time they finish, April immediately starts beating herself up and talking about what a horrible thing they just did. Jackson is sick of listening to this and finally just walks out to avoid her. His mood isn't helped when he accidentally gets a saucy email from Richard that was meant for the other Avery in Richard's address book and then after forwarding it to his mom, accidentally gets her saucy response. He yells at Richard a couple of times about it but Richard finally points out that he thinks Jackson might actually be okay with his mom finding someone since most people who get an email intended for someone else just delete it or reply without reading the entire thing and forwarding it along. Jackson tries to deny it but it seems quite true and then somehow inspires him to go tell April that he has feelings for her. She's pretty delighted and so sorry for hurting his feelings, but he manages to run off before they can sleep together and he has to hear more of it again.

Bailey had a young patient who she can't diagnose, and she tells Callie that she wants Arizona back so that she can get back to work and help with cases like these. Callie just reports that Arizona is still prickly and mean and is best left alone. She's having a hard time on her new prosthetic because she's not using it perfectly right off the bat so she won't leave the house with it and she's still taking her frustration out on Callie. Bailey decides to get sneaky and push Arizona without her knowing it to see what happens. She calls and asks for advice on the patient, telling Arizona she'll have the chart dropped off at the house, but never actually has it sent over. Arizona has to get out of bed, put on her leg, and walk to the door; when the chart isn't there Arizona stays up waiting for it and doing some annoyed pacing, which turns out to be decent practice. She finally gets so fed up with waiting that she goes to the hospital, which Callie sees but Bailey shoos her away so that they don't spook Arizona too badly. Bailey never says a word about the leg but does get Arizona's help in diagnosing some rare disease in the patient and Arizona looks happier than she has since before the crash.

Speaking of the crash, the lady lawyer is back with a couple of additional lawyers in tow and they need to do interviews with all of the victims to find out just how hurt they all are so that they can figure out what amount of money they can try to get. No one really wants to have to think about the full extent of their injuries and losses but they all eventually have to, other than Cristina who keeps trying to brush them off but finally admits to a bit of PTSD. Callie and Derek have to do an interview together where the lawyer pushes for Callie to admit that Derek's probably never going to operate again. After lots of pushing, Callie admits it. She then has a confrontation with Derek where she yells at them for pushing them into this rather than just taking the other settlement and pushing her into doing his surgery. To his credit, Derek takes responsibility for that bit and doesn't blame her. Once she sees Arizona up and about, though, she recants her statement and suggests all sorts of other things they might try that she was too scared to suggest before. Even so, the lawyers determine that the amount of money they deserve is a colossal sum that is beyond what the charter company could ever pay so they think it's best to go after the hospital that put them on the plane in the first place: Seattle Grace Mercy West.

Cristina is back! But to begin with, she's back in bed and unable to get out, at least for a couple of days. Mere is with her, and as she VOs that doctors aren't always right, she is on the phone with Derek and we learn that she's spent the last two nights there since Cristina doesn't want to be alone. But she tells him (and assures us) that Cristina is "Back-back."

Bailey and Callie walk in to work and Callie gripes that she has to cancel a surgery since they have to meet with their lawyers again about the lawsuit. Bailey asks how it is going and Callie isn't allowed to say, but her voice indicates that it's not great. I don't know why - repeatedly relieving the crash that killed your best friend and father of your child and maimed your wife sound like a barrel of laughs! Speaking of her wife, Bailey then asks about Arizona and Callie gives much the same answer. She admits that Arizona is actually walking with the prosthetic but that that she won't leave the house until she's perfect and when Callie tries to encourage her, she gets yelled at for pushing. Bailey has no patience for this kind of nonsense and wants to order Arizona back to the hospital already, but Callie chirps that then Arizona would just be cranky and resentful towards her, too! Callie is actually holding up surprisingly well given how much this crash has fucked her life and family.

Princess Kate, covered in vomit, runs in to Alex who sheers at her that she stinks. She tells him that Santa Claus came to town, and while this sounds like some dumb code, I'll save you all and explain that is the name of a particular repeat homeless patient. Alex doesn't care about an explanation and orders her to change while his love for her sits, embryonic and thus far undetectable, deep inside his heart. Kate is frustrated, which is basically what one could write for every single scene she has appeared in this season.

Mere walks up to Alex with a list; it seems he is buying Mere's old house, which I find rather awesome, but she's pissed that his realtor sent over a list of things to fix before Alex will buy the place. She reminds him that the made a deal and not only shook on it, but drank on it too, which means it's extra-super iron-clad. Alex says that this is just business and they should be grown-ups about it, which makes her even more irate because Alex really shouldn't be the one trying to call someone else out for not being mature.

Remember the intern locker room? I didn't at all until I saw the newest batch of interns there. If they are resurrecting this set, these guys really must be around to stay for a while. Kate gripes about Alex while changing into new scrubs. Heather commiserates because Santa barfed on her a couple of weeks back, too. Leah (who?) just wants to know if Alex said anything about her. Stephanie isn't sure why Leah would start off the year by sleeping with her boss (ah yes, we saw her in Alex's lap once, if I recall correctly), unaware that at this point it's practically a prerequisite for working at this hospital. It's pointed out that Heather hooked up with Alex too, but she just chalks it up to her social anxiety and claims it was easier than talking to him. Smash grins at her and says he's a great listener. Seriously, I love him so much. He's the one intern who can stay and about whom I'd like to learn more.

April and Jackson finish up another horizontal mambo and as they break apart, each is wearing a blissed-out expression. But while Jackson wants to savor how good it was, April immediately starts to berate herself for being a weak and terrible person. He tries to stop her but she won't stop talking and finally says that their hooking up seems inevitable, like watching two cars about to crash in a fiery explosion that kills all of the occupants. For some reason Jackson doesn't enjoy having their hookup compared to a fatal accident, so he pulls on his shirt and leaves while she is still mid-rant.

Mere continues to hound Alex about the house and says he's lucky she's selling it to him at all, but he is still focused on what he wants fixed and thinks he's being generous by keeping the list short. Their conversation is put mercifully on hold when their teenaged ER patient, Brian, lets out an anguished yell. He's there because he passed out in class and is having severe abdominal pain. He's also just a wee bit yellow, and a clump of his hair falls out in Meredith's hand as she helps him lay back on the gurney. Spontaneous hair loss is pretty much never a good thing, I've found. The doctors exchange worried glances and Alex tells Stephanie to run a load of tests.

Kate, meanwhile, brings a bag of IV fluid for Santa Claus and he apologizes profusely for yakking down her front. He claims he's not a drinker but he's had alcohol in his system on every other one of his visits and he admits it helps with the pain. He reaches for her arm with one of his filthy hands and pleads with her that his stomach hurts so badly that often he wants to die, which seems to strike something in her so she vows to help him. In thanks, he vomits all over her again. When she pulls the curtain back Alex sees her and yells at her to get a hold of herself and change her shirt, since he assumes this is the barf from earlier.

Owen and Cristina are having a hiring meeting and things couldn't be more formal, as he writes down a salary offer and she politely accepts it and thanks him. Owen tells her not to thank him, but to thank Jeff Russell (the new cardio guy), who pushed for her. He then hands her an orientation packet and stiffly welcomes her to the hospital. Cristina can only stare at him, stunned, as he flees like his clothes are on fire.

Bailey is talking with a patient's mother; she reports that the appendectomy went great but the girl has a sore throat that is still concerning and she wants to keep her one extra day to run some tests. Since the focus on this story is on Bailey and not the patient, her mom is lovely and normal and absolutely agrees to an extra night to make sure her daughter is totally okay. Bailey then studies the girl's chart and seems to have an idea, pulling out her phone.

Back at her apartment, Arizona is in bed reading Trendy Magazine -- it seems the trend this month is for toddlers doing one's makeup, given the appearance of the model on the cover -- and her prosthetic leg is leaning up against the bed. Her phone rings and it turns out to be Bailey, calling to ask for help in diagnosing her patient. Arizona tries to make an excuse but Bailey just plows ahead and tells her about her patient's symptoms. Upon hearing them, Arizona becomes a wee bit interested despite herself. Bailey asks Arizona if she might know off the top of her head what this was and Arizona plays right into Bailey's hands, saying that she might but she'd have to see the chart. She realizes what she just said and tries to claim that she's busy learning how to put on her makeup with a trowel, but Bailey suggests that she could have an intern bring the chart over so she could take a look. Fed up, Arizona finally agrees and Bailey chirps an enthusiastic thank you.

Less enthusiastically, Jackson seeks out Richard and announces that they have a problem: Richard mixed up the Averys in his email address book and Jackson was the lucky recipient of a saucy email detailing many things he doesn't like to think about as they relate to his mother and/or his former boss. Richard assures him it won't happen again but uses the unfortunate, "Son," to address him, which sends Jackson into a fit of twitching. He announces that he forwarded the message on to his mom, and then flees, twitching all the way.

The nurses' station then becomes a revolving door of doctors and conversations. When Mere sees Stephanie, she asks about the lab results and turns Stephanie to stone with fear after Stephanie admits she was just going to give them to Alex and not her. Mere orders her away, and Cristina admires Mere's intimidation while lamenting that she does not hold the title of Most Feared. She's sure, though, that she will be able to establish her position in short order. Mere asks her about Owen and Cristina mentions the orientation packet as an example of just how strained things are between them. Alex walks up and asks Mere if she took a look at Brian's liver. Jackson then joins the party and tells an unimpressed Cristina that he missed her. She asks about the new cardio guy but can't even remember his name right (Jeff Russell) and when she finds it out, she expresses her lack of confidence in anyone named Jeff. Jackson then turns to Alex and asks if he can have his old room back once the house is purchased, but Alex declares that this is not college, and therefore he won't have any roommates. This then brings up Jackson's hooking up with April, though he runs off and hides as she appears. She's happy to see Cristina for a moment until Cristina asks about the recurring hookups. Cristina then leaves to meet her new boss, and Alex walks up to give Mere the disappointing news that she was right about Brian's liver: the mass is cancer.

Leah waits with Princess Cathy outside the lab for Santa's results and spends the time wondering why Alex isn't texting her back -- is it something she did? I want to mock her so badly, but if we're being honest, all of us ladies can admit we've all done this at one time or another even though we're not proud of it. Kate just writes Alex off as a stupid, typical man, and begs Leah to stop mooning over him since he's an ass. She then takes a look at Santa Claus' labs and is disappointed to find that just like before, nothing appears to be wrong with him.

Cristina finds Dr. Russell doing dictation on a case and he seems genuinely excited and for just a second, a bit awed to meet her. He wants her to call him Jeff, much to Cristina's general disgust. He welcomes her and pretty much gives her complete free rein: "Go. Have fun. See patients." She wants to talk but he's too busy with a couple of special patients and some articles to write (not to mention that the interns are especially stupid this year and he doesn't have a lot of interest in dealing with them), so he tells her to run his service and make him look good. Oh, and don't kill his patients. In addition, he tells her to go ahead and assign her own surgeries but to call him if something "really cool" comes along. She reminds him that she is just a fellow but he tells her he heard that she's much more than that, and he wants her to fly free and not bother him with silly details like correct protocol.

The doctors' Nameless Attorney is back this week and explains that she, her sidekick (who IMDb tells me is named Andy) (which seems unfair since she still has no name) (Nameless Attorney shall now be NAncy), and some girl who pushes papers around and mostly gets cut out of the shots are there to assess their emotional damages. When Cristina joins the group, NAncy tries to kick out Owen, but he says he is staying to support his staff, and Derek supports him on that. Cristina tries to claim that she doesn't have any emotional or physical difficulties to report but the lawyers would still like a few more actual details than that. NAncy explains that they use a complicated formula that includes medical bills, plus types of injuries, loss of income, loss of earning capacity, multiplied by stars in the sky, potential lottery winnings and peanut butter to ultimately figure out the size of the settlement that they will seek -- which will be much larger than the original settlement that was offered. Derek asks where the money will come from and she tosses out multiple options such as the charter company and airplane part manufacturers. They are taken aback when she tacks Jerry the Pilot on to the list. Cristina's the first to point out that he was out there with him and he's now paralyzed, but Callie counters tentatively that if he turns out to have been responsible then they should go after him. It's too much for Cristina, who declares that she has to work and she runs out of the room. NAncy then turns to the remaining members of the tragic group and says that while they have a special bond from going through the crash together they need to start thinking of Jerry as One of Them. This causes much concerned brow furrowing around the table.

Cristina's interns are Smash and Heather, who are quick to act like they are friends already since she threw a vase of flowers at their heads. Cristina declares that most of the interns will not make it through the program, and she won't waste precious brain cells learning their names for at least a year. Instead, she gives them dwarf names: Happy (Smash) and Mousy (Heather). Damn, she is way more hardcore than me -- I only lasted five episodes before caving and learning at least a few of their names. She has them tell her about all of the patients and quickly goes about schooling them on the ways of the hospital. Smash is far too agreeable and gets downgraded to the name of Dopey, and Smash and Heather gripe that she is even worse than Medusa. Cristina warns them that she heard them but her face has a triumphant smile since she's already on her way to out-meaning Meredith.

Mere and Alex speak to Brian's parents in his room at the foot of his bed as if he can't hear them from a few feet away. They explain that they want to do a biopsy on the mass in his liver to see if it is cancer, but then choose their words carefully since they have to tell Mom and Dad that Brian's symptoms could mean he's been using anabolic steroids. Brian does here this and erupts in furious denial but as "unprovoked aggression" is one of the symptoms, he's not helping his case. Dad says that he's not even an athlete, but Mom goes to her son and sits down on the bed, begging him to tell the truth. Finally, Brian cries that girls only like guys with crazy bodies, and he wanted to have a chance at a girl actually liking him. He claims he hasn't been taking them for long but his mom has a realization tells the doctors it's been two years. She cries that two years before, Brian's mood changed and he stopped being "[her] boy." The doctors aren't happy to have their suspicions confirmed and they look on sadly as Brian cries that he didn't know all this would happen. Steroids are bad, mmmkay?

Owen has the lucky task of monitoring the pit, so he asks Kate how things are going with Santa. When he hears that all of the lab tests came back clean, he orders Kate to "treat him and street him," since he's sure Santa is looking for drugs. Princess K is such a wondrous, big-hearted woman, though, that she thinks it could be something more. Owen dashes her optimistic spirit fairly gently as he says that's great that she's a nice person, but Santa has been coming in like this for years and she needs to move him on and clear the bed. She responds with a defeated sigh; seriously, all she has done since we met her is be sad that things aren't going her way and I'm tremendously bored of it already. When she walks back over, Santa has already guessed that he has to leave. She looks a while at his dirty hands and beard, though, and after a moment defiantly pulls the curtain back around the bed.

By Lauren S

Back at the apartment, Arizona puts her leg on and then, heaving a big sigh, starts to walk across the room. The movement is stilted and unnatural, and she tries to hold on to things as much as she can as she goes. She finally gets in to a little bit of a flow but then missteps and as she falls down, she knocks a vase to the floor and it shatters. Her anger is rising but she tries to control herself as she stands back up. She then shuffles slowly over the broken pottery until she gets to the door. But when she opens it and looks out, nothing greets her but her striped doormat. In a fury, she slams the door shut.

Arizona is incensed that she was dragged away from Trendy for nothing and she lets an apologetic Bailey have it over the phone. Bailey begs forgiveness and blames the intern again while Arizona rails that this is a huge waste of her precious shitty-fashion-magazine-reading time. Bailey again promises to figure out what happened, and hangs up. Once she does, poor demoralized Leah tries to speak up again but once again she's shushed. Bailey then picks up said chart, which she knows full well is right in front of her, and looks rather like a cat with a canary.

Andy has finally been reduced to chasing Cristina down the hall, begging for an interview, but she's still not interested. When he pleads that her statement could help her colleagues, though, she finally tells him quickly that her shoulder hurts sometimes and she "might have had" some PTSD. Heather decides to be helpful and pipes up that she threw a vase at the interns, but Cristina wants that stricken from the record and Andy still wants more than a two-sentence statement either way. Cristina is granted a reprieve when a nurse runs out to say that one of Jeff's post-op patients is coughing up blood and he was busy, so he told them to page Cristina instead. She runs in and barks directions at the interns; while Smash is generally smiley and cheerful it turns out he's not very good at actually soothing patients when needed -- he actually cheers out loud when Cristina says they are going to have to open the guy back up. She tells the dwarfs to go set things up for the surgery and adds that they are going to scrub in too since she'll need the help. The two of them grin and dance out of the room whispering that they love Cristina after all. When they can't see, Cristina allows herself a small smile at this.

Once Mere and Alex have pulled a sample from Brian's liver, they send Stephanie to the lab and then continue their house-selling fight over the teen's open body as they wait for the results. This seriously makes me wonder about what soap operatic drama might have occurred over my own opened chest cavity a few years ago. Alex keeps trying to get Mere to agree to some fixes, but she holds firm that she's sticking to their original deal and not touching a thing. She finally asks him why he suddenly wants to own a home and he admits that he's afraid that all of his sleeping with interns has turned him into the creepy high school graduate who hangs around the campus hoping to nail the students. Mere has a simple solution to this problem: "Don't be that guy." But if it was that easy, we'd have no storyline today. He's actually trying to be better, and one of his first steps was to stop calling the interns -- sorry, Leah. He tells her he also stopped saying "dude" and thinks the step is a house of his own. Dude, if saying "dude" is a sign of immaturity then I'm going to be a sophomore in high school for the rest of my life. Dude. He thinks Mere will understand all this, but she calls him out on this being the dumbest and saddest thing he's ever said, "And I've known you a long time."

By Lauren S

Callie and Derek have the unlucky distinction of being the first ones to sit down with NAncy and Andy to systematically talk out just how bad their lives really are now. NAncy really, really wants Callie to say that Derek will never be able to operate again, but Callie keeps arguing that it's not necessarily the case. NAncy just keeps needling her, trying different approaches, and finally slides a tape recorder pointedly closer as she says that Derek's career being over would raise the reward for all of them. I'm surprised she hasn't shorted out the recorder yet with all of the salivating she's doing over the idea that Derek's life as a surgeon is over. She finally wears Callie down, so she dully says that in her opinion Derek won't operate again. NAncy tries and fails to not look too pleased. Derek, meanwhile, sees how upset Callie is and asks them to take a quick break.

Arizona is still at the apartment, waiting for the chart, and leaves Bailey an irate message about it. The good thing about the message is that she now really wants to figure out what's wrong with the girl and is irritated to not have all of the info yet. The other good thing is that she keeps angrily pacing, which is actually great practice that she doesn't even realize she's doing. Already her steps are much better than they were when she first strapped the leg back on.

As Cristina operates, she asks for the interns' help but makes them earn the right to hold the suction tube by answering questions. Smash totally nails the answers which earns him the right to be "Happy" once again. As she teaches them, she actually mentions that she has learned that sometimes it's better to do something the "old-fashioned" way, which is a nice takeaway from her time with Mr. Feeny. Who knew he'd really end up having that much of an effect on her? Heather also manages to get some things right, and overall Cristina seems pleased with her interns. In other news, there's a pig flying past my window right now and the devil is looking for a parka.

Mere and Alex are STILL fighting about the house, and she holds firm that she's not making the repairs to the point where she threatens to call off the deal. Fortunately, their bickering is interrupted by Stephanie who runs back in with the lab results which show that Brian does in fact have cancer.

The Princess, on the other hand, gets Santa's results back and finds that they are all negative. She begs him to be honest, and he finally admits that he did come in looking for drugs. She starts the process of kicking him out while he pleads with her for some aspirin and lists his symptoms which turn out to be very clear-cut migraine symptoms. She's exasperated that he didn't say so in the first place since this is rather important information, and then to add insult to injury he leans over and vomits all over her shirt yet again.

Mere and Alex break the cancer news to Brian's parents and let them know that while they got it all, steroid use will up his chances of getting it again. His poor mom's heart is broken and she sits down on his bed as she tells them about what a great kid he was. She admits that he was skinny and awkward but that he was a great person and she assumed his bad attitude was just normal, teenager-grade backtalk. She cries that if she had known, she would have done anything to stop it.

Alex, already irritated by Meredith, runs into Kate and yells at her yet again for not changing out of her vomity shirt. She finally grows a teensy little backbone and yells back at him for assuming that she's been walking around covered in barf all day rather than realizing she was puked on multiple times. She manages to work Santa's other symptoms into her rant, and Alex has an epiphany. While she's yelling, Kate decides it's a good time to demand he call Leah back too so that she'll stop going crazy. Alex ignores this, but orders her to come with him somewhere, yak-stained shirt and all.

Cristina and her dwarfs are out of surgery and Heather happily reports that the patient is stable. Smash wants a high five but quickly learns that Cristina is not going to get that crazy, even though she's obviously pleased. The moment is ruined, though, when Owen stomps in like an angry bear and begins hollering at her for opening up the guy without first consulting Dr. Jeff. Cristina is defiant that she saved the guy's life and he should thank her, but Owen just spits that he's probably going to fire her, and one can't help but wonder if that's what he wants.

Callie, exhausted from a day of recounting the myriad horrors of her life, starts to slink out of the door but Bailey stops her to ask if she's spoken to Arizona. Callie is suspicious and Bailey admits that she might have pushed a little too much and Callie could be going home to an extra-scary spouse. Callie is both pissed and terrified until she looks up and sees Arizona walking down the hall. Both she and Bailey are immediately uplifted -- though Callie can almost not believe it -- and Bailey muses that maybe she pushed just far enough. She then shoos Callie away so that she doesn't frighten away the little bird that is her wife. When Arizona walks in saying she never got the chart, Bailey apologizes profusely and hands it over. Arizona starts to lecture her but then sees something in the chart and she lights up, sure that the girl has Lemierre's Disease as she suspected. Bailey is surprised it even still exists and asks questions about what she should look for when she does an ultrasound to confirm. Rather than try to explain it, Arizona calls for Bailey to follow her and they walk off chatting about medicine. From around a corner, Callie peeks out at them and smiles, shocked.

Jackson seeks out Richard one last time that day to make sure that he and Catherine got in touch and that there will be no more awkward sex emails delivered to his inbox. Richard tells him it's all straightened out, but when Jackson thanks him and tells them to keep it to themselves. Richard agrees to it only if Jackson can do the same. Jackson acts totally offended but Richard points out what I thought from the very beginning -- when most people realize an email has been sent to them by mistake and they immediately forward or delete it rather than read all of the naughty thoughts someone is having about his mom. Richard adds that then Jackson went out of his way to make sure they got each other's notes, and concludes that he thinks Jackson isn't as upset as he pretends to be. Jackson tries to deny it, but Richard supposes that Jackson is glad she has someone that makes her happy. Richard gives him a wide, smug smile that says Jackson was just totally called out, and as the doors close Jackson tries to save face but Richard is clearly right as usual.

Alex and Kate sit down with Santa and Alex explains that he has a very hard to diagnose condition called Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome that is then triggered by his migraines. Seriously, few things sound more hellish to me than repeated, unexplained vomiting. There's no cure, but there are meds to control the migraines so that he will feel better. Kate changes her expression for one of the first times and beams as Alex goes on that if it happens again, he's to come see one of them and they will take care of them. She leans over and thanks him, and the seeds for a hate-love crush are watered and given a bit more fertilizer. Santa thanks them profusely and Alex gives Kate all of the credit for sticking to it. When Alex walks off Santa admits that he wants to hug her, but not right now with puke all over her shirt. See, because this time she really did leave it there but Alex didn't notice because he realized she was being a great doctor. Awwwww. (Blech.)

Cristina and Owen are waiting in a conference room, and it's a wonder they can breathe with all of the suffocating tension in there. She tells him he knows full well she had no choice, but he just pouts that they will wait for Dr. Jeff. As they wait, Cristina finally points out that if he didn't want her there, he shouldn't have hired her back. Owen is saved from a response by Jeff walking in; Cristina starts to explain to him but he shushes her so he can go over the chart himself. Owen adds that the patient is stable and starts to throw Cristina under the buss but when Jeff finishes reading he turns to her and thanks her for a good save. He then tells Owen that he was right about her, and he now understands why Owen pushed so hard to have her hired. What the what? Jeff rushes back out, while Cristina brightens visibly at this intriguing bit of news. Owen, though, grits his teeth in anger and embarrassment and runs out.

Callie, inspired by Arizona, runs back in to the room where the attorneys are shuffling papers and tells them to take out their slobbery tape recorder so that she can retract her earlier statement. NAncy is none too pleased at this development -- it's really kind of gross how much she wants Derek's career to be unequivocally over so that she can get more money. But Callie insists that they haven't tried everything, nor have they necessarily given the nerves enough time to grow back. Derek had followed her in and he seems stunned to hear that there might still be some option; Callie tells them all that she's thought about other possible surgical options every day since Derek dropped that instrument. But she didn't say anything because she was scared, since she already thought she'd failed him. She tells Derek that he wasn't wrong to push her and in fact should have pushed harder. She declares that they shouldn't give up until they try every avenue, and he gives a happy half-smile while NAncy grimaces.

Jackson, inspired by the rich sex life of his mother, seeks out April so that they can have a talk. She immediately gets defensive and tells him that if he wants his booty calls to be uncomplicated he should find them elsewhere, but Jackson stuns her when he admits that it's not just sex, no matter how much he wishes that it is. Is this supposed to be news? Because at the beginning of the season he was mooning around after her and I never saw any evidence that that had actually changed. He asks that she stop comparing him to a car crash and acting like he has no feelings, and he's so sincere he can barely even look at her. She apologizes for hurting those feelings and adds that she thought it was just sex, which he did too until his eyes were opened by the raw email power of his mother's love affair. I think they are seriously the only two people who somehow thought that they'd managed to remove all feelings from their sexy equation. April is rather delighted at this new development, but instead of lots of breathy teasing he just wishes her good night and leaves.

Alex seems to have Learned Something from Princess Catherine's perseverance and generally being an upstanding human and so he decides to have an actual conversation with Meredith. He tells her that he stayed in Seattle for Arizona, but she then told him that he's got no one and nothing to show for his life so he wants a house as a starting point. This is finally something that Mere can understand, so she tells him the stories of Christmas trees and crazy parties that led to the damage he wants repaired. The "scratches" on the door are actually her and Zola's height marks. She reminds Alex that she grew up there and has lots of memories that she doesn't want to paint over, and that for all intents and purposes he actually grew up there too. She leaves him with the thought that he's gotten this far being himself so he should remember that before he tries to change everything about himself. He digests this, and then puts out his hand again, asking if they have a deal. Again. She agrees, and they hug. Hopefully the handshake/hug combo is more binding than the handshake/drink combo.

NAncy and her sidekick call everyone back in to the conference room to announce that the step is to file a complaint. Cristina speaks up to ask them to keep Jerry out of it; Callie is still worried that maybe he was negligent but the others all want to see him left out no matter what. Before answering, NAncy kicks Owen out of the room, telling him they're going to talk about stuff only for the victims' ears. He seems a little bit miffed but walks out immediately and tries to keep his head high. What he will learn shortly, though, is that the reason he was sent out is that they have decided to go after a much bigger fish than Jerry or the charter company -- they are going to go after Seattle Grace Mercy West for putting them on the plane in the first place. And here we have a statement on our litigious society of today, because that sounds kind of crazy to me. Go after the responsible party, not the one you think you can provide a bigger payday just for the sake of the money. What are they responsible for -- wanting to give conjoined twins the best doctors available to perform the surgery that will give them a better life? Renting a plane that they should have been able to assume was flightworthy? Yes, I'm so confused that I just made up a word. This seems to be sort of the opposite of what Derek wanted to achieve by holding out on the initial settlement offer. The four victims are all shocked to their core and don't seem to know how to respond, but they do look out and see Owen being all Chiefly and kind out in the hallway. Everyone looks rather ill at the news while Mere VOs that it can be scary to find out you were wrong about something.

By Lauren S

Bailey and Arizona go over the ultrasound, and Arizona looks like her old self as they discuss the results. Santa, meanwhile, heads out with a big red coat, natch, and a big box of migraine medication.

When Cristina gets home to the firehouse, she looks around at the empty space and finally walks over to the bed and starts pulling off the duvet.

The shake/hug combo seems to have worked as Mere gave Alex the keys, but what she didn't tell him is that she gave Cristina a set too. When Alex opens the door to his new abode, he's scared out of his skin to find Cristina already inside with a glass of wine when he thought it was empty. She announces that she wants to rent a room; he tries to enforce his we're adults/no roommates rule but she pleads that it's a big house, and they work weird hours so they'll never see each other anyway. He looks over and sees her sad little mattress campsite in the middle of the room, and then looks at the growth marks on the doorframe and smiles. Not from the thought of Zola or Mere as a child, but from the realization that for the first time Cristina is the one asking him for help. Cristina replies, "Well, when you put it like that, I want to kill myself." But she doesn't retract her request, and he finally declares that the master bedroom is his and rent is due on the first. She smiles hugely as she shuts the door to their new house while Mere wisely advises us that we can't be afraid to change our minds and accept the way things are and not just what we thought they were.

Lauren S is a writer who lives and works in Atlanta; she wishes all of her gorgeous and lovely readers a happy (American) Thanksgiving. She wants everyone to know: "The views expressed in my recaps and anything else I might write on TWoP are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views of my employer."