This week's episode proved that when this show wants to deal with actual meaty story, they do it very well. Owen's PTSD, which has been sort of simmering ever since we met him, comes to a full boil this week when he falls asleep and then begins to choke Cristina. Callie is in the apartment, thank goodness, and comes in the room and wakes him up, but Cristina is pretty shaken up. However, she understands that he has an injury of sorts and isn't a bad person at heart, so she doesn't cut him off like Meredith would prefer. He's completely shattered by what happens but she repeats that she's the one who knows how much she can take, and after a rough day they finally consummate their relationship in an on-call room. It's awful when afterward, Cristina realizes that she has in fact hit her limit because she is too scared to fall asleep in bed with him. She breaks up with him, and that's what Owen needs to take up Derek's offer of help to figure out how he can overcome his problem.
Because, ladies and gentlemen, Derek is back, though not without some struggling. He tries to propose to Meredith twice -- once by plunking down the ring on the kitchen table (and for the more eagle-eyed viewers out there, did he go find the ring in the grass or is this one new?) and once by cornering her before Izzie's surgery so that she'll say it's okay no matter what happens. She assures him she loves him, but won't say yes and he's surprised. He does make it through the surgery, and manages to get a little bit of confidence back. Afterwards the Chief points out all the evidence that says Meredith really does love him, so the Chief then helps Meredith to get on the right elevator at the end of the night. As the title of the episode suggests, he's decorated the whole thing with brain scans of various patients that cover their whole relationship together, which sounds weird but actually kind of worked. And in the elevator, he and Meredith get engaged.
But we need to back up a bit for Izzie's whole story. She meets her oncologist, Dr. Swender (the one Cristina fought for her to see last week) and she turns out to be quite the mega-bitch who orders all the other doctors around, questions everything they do, and seems to have no care at all for the patient's feelings. It's like she would have been Cristina's hero up until a week ago. As if that's not scary enough, all of Izzie's friends seem to not really be able to be around her and wind up deserting her for the entire day. Everyone except for Bailey, that is, who continues to check up on her both as a doctor and a friend. Alex is probably having the worst time dealing with things because he feels guilty that he never suspected there was a medical problem when Izzie admitted she was seeing Denny. They all prove they really care about her -- interns included -- when they gather en masse to wait for her surgery to be over. As I mentioned before it goes well, partly due to jerky Swender -- she questions every move Derek makes until he finally gets pissed off and assertive and defends his techniques, which is what he needed to snap out of it and start acting like a surgical god again. When Bailey comes out to tell everyone how the surgery went, she also warns them all to be better friends to Izzie, which seems to strike a chord, especially with Alex. He mans up and shows just how far he's come since we met him, facing his guilt and his grief to crawl into bed so that he's there when she wakes up. (With a full head of hair, because at Seattle Grace you don't have to lose a lock even when you have brain surgery.)
It seems that when your girlfriend has cancer that has spread to her brain, you then get the privilege of the week's voiceover. "Surgeons are all messed up. We're butchers. Messed up, knife-happy butchers." Alex is pacing outside a sleeping Izzie's room, probably as agitated as we've ever seen him. He clearly can't bring himself to go inside and when he stops pacing to just stare, the nurse asks him if he wants a cot. He VO's: "We cut people up. We move on. Patients die on our watch. We move on." He tells the nurse he doesn't need a cot and that he's a doctor at the hospital before his voice finishes: "We cause trauma. We suffer trauma."
The music that's been playing in the background, "Little Pieces" by Gomez, is what Callie and Arizona are listening do as they dance around Callie's living room having an awesome time.
Meanwhile, in Cristina's bedroom Hunt is snacking and laughing over the fact that Cristina unwinds by watching two hours of some sort of carotid artery surgery that looks a lot like someone pulling the meat out of a crab leg. What? It's true. And gross. He turns to look at her and realizes that she's fallen asleep, so he lies down to her and strokes her face a bit before turning out the light. And that's when things get really bad. He gazes at the fan lazily spinning on the ceiling and the music fades away as a whooshing sound that corresponds with the blades takes its place. He starts to doze off and everything goes black for a moment before Cristina wakes up, choking and clawing at her attacker. Hunt is calmly holding her down with his hands around her neck as she flails and tries to get him off. Callie has heard the commotion and knocks on the door asking if everyone is okay, then thankfully opens it up and peeks inside. She yells Owen's name and Cristina is able to break free and then runs into the bathroom and locks herself in, crying and hyperventilating. Owen wakes up and looks down at his hands, absolutely horrified. It's beyond horrible to watch but amazingly acted by both Sandra Oh and Kevin McKidd.
The phone rings and Meredith answers it, sleepily telling Cristina she's better have a good reason for calling at 3 AM. But when she realizes it's Callie she sits up and asks, dazed, "What? He what?"
She immediately heads over to Cristina's and knocks on the bathroom, which Cristina finally unlocks to let her best friend in. Cristina then goes and looks at herself in the mirror, mumbling a description of her injuries and says that she's fine as she then turns to her friend. She's got red marks all around her neck, and a horrified Mere wants to kill Owen but Cristina says it was a nightmare. Owen then knocks on the door and begs pathetically to know if Cristina is okay. Mere tells her friend to stop, but Cristina opens the door and orders him to look at her. As he cries, she asserts that he was asleep and that she is okay. She hugs him as he sobs that he's sorry; Callie watches with confusion and Mere glowers at him.
Derek and his beard walk into the kitchen carrying a bag, so I suspect that he has not actually moved back in yet. She sits down at the table with coffee and toast, clearly unhappy, and he sits down just as glumly and sets a ring box in front of her and gazes at her with puppy dog eyes. She just answers, "No. Not like this." That's a proposal, Derek? Give me a break. Also, does anyone know if this is his mother's ring, that maybe he went and found it in the grass? I don't think so -- as I recall, this one looks slightly different -- but I'm not sure and you eagle-eyed viewers are very good at that. She tells him that it's his first day back (clearly just for our benefit since obviously they are both aware) and that today is about Izzie and his operating on her. She tells him, "You have a gift. And you can do this." He just silently takes the ring back and then grabs his bag, mumbling that he's going to shower before work, for which I'm sure his colleagues will be eternally grateful since it's not 100% clear that he's showered at all up to this point.
Cristina is at work with a turtleneck on under her scrubs, which Meredith notes is ugly. "Not as ugly as the fact that you hugged him..." Cristina gets it and wants Meredith to move on but Meredith won't drop it and repeats that Cristina, the situation, and her boyfriend are all not okay. Alex then joins them and asks Meredith if her boyfriend is okay, taking the ladies by surprise. He explains, "To be cutting into brains today. Is he okay to be back?" Meredith tells him that Derek is fine but this isn't really the crowd for pithy reassurances and Alex points this out, reminding her that he was in the OR when Derek melted down and took out half of Jen's brain. This isn't just any patient, it's Izzie. Does that mean it's okay to slice up the brain of someone you aren't dating? Interesting theory.
Derek, his beard, and the Chief walk by as the three residents walk downstairs. A little ways away Callie is staring into space when George walks up. She's surprised he's not in Izzie's room for the big presentation but he's livid that he didn't know Izzie was sick and that he heard the news third-hand from Bailey, as well as being really hurt that Izzie trusted Cristina more than him. Callie tries to stand up for Izzie but George doesn't want to hear it and just asks for work on her service. He then takes a chart and storms off to fill a patient's room with sunshine and light.
Bailey walks up to Cristina, Mere and Alex outside Izzie's room and as other doctors file in, explains that she's the resident on the case and will prep Izzie for surgery. If they are in the room, it's to be her friends rather than more doctors. They then follow her in and stand to Izzie's bed in front of some docs in distractingly bright red scrubs. Izzie gets all business-like once everyone is there and hands off some knitting she's been doing to Meredith. Bailey goes over the general info about her illness and says she's got a lot of procedures and surgeries over the few days. Richard jumps in to say that he and Bailey will be taking the mets off of her liver, and that also a Dr. Parker from OB will harvest any healthy eggs she has before she undergoes radiation. Izzie is a little bit grim about the idea of babies, but Bailey kindly said they are leaving the option open for her. Derek then says he'll be taking off the mets on her brain and comments that he's surprised they didn't catch these sooner given that they can cause headaches, seizures, and "intense hallucinations." I guess that means the correct term for the drivel we had to suffer through earlier this season is "intense hallucination sex" rather than "ghost sex." My bad. Alex pointedly looks like someone kicked him in the stomach at that little comment. Once Derek is finished a female doctor we have never seen before, who is wearing dark blue scrubs but is standing with all the reds, asks, "Are you people done?" She then announces that Izzie will be having three major surgeries and seven outpatient procedures, and most likely even more than that once they get inside of her and see if there's any more stuff to take out. She's the oncologist, Swender (the same one Cristina fought for the appointment with last week) and announces how it's going to be aggressive and harsh, she's going to be overseeing everything, and that means that everyone in the room now answers to her. She's really competing for Miss Congeniality here and clearly we aren't supposed to like her much as she finishes, "Welcome to the cancer wing, folks." Derek then gives Izzie an actual genuine smile, probably bonding over Swender's bitchiness, and says he'll see her in the OR.
Everyone except for Mere, Cristina and Alex file out, and Mere hands Izzie back her knitting. She starts up again while they all just stare at her and she comments rightly that they are making her nervous. She then tells them to go save lives, and Mere too quickly agrees that they have rounds. They all high-tail it out of the room, and Izzie is left there very alone with her knitting.
As she knits in her room, Alex is watching her through the window in the door when Derek walks up and lets him know that the tumor hasn't grown since they last checked. He then asks if Alex has any questions or concerns. Alex is clearly not comfortable being at the "loved one" end of these things and is also worried about Shepherd because he snaps, "Just try keeping her frontal lobe inside her skull this time." Derek takes that advice and heads into the room while Bailey shakes her head at Alex, but really, can you blame the guy? While we all know this is a set-up for Derek's Triumphant Return, it's much more realistic that Alex would be fairly unhappy about the situation. Izzie looks over Derek's shoulder hopefully to Alex and Bailey asks if he's coming inside, but he's still in the immature, scared phase of his grief and he flees to go check on his patient. Unfortunately, Izzie sees him but she manages to keep it together and goes back to focusing on what Derek is telling her.
Alex's elderly patient is named Joyce -- well, it's actually Mark's elderly patient but Alex is the one who has the potential to Learn A Lesson from her. Joyce's niece is there (who is in fact credited in imdb as "Joyce's niece" so clearly they did not consider the poor recapper when they wrote this. JN it is.) and she introduces her brothers Tobin and Luke who both flew in. Since it's Mark's case of course Lexie is there as well, and after Mark says that Joyce doesn't have much time to live the three docs watch in sort of awestruck disbelief as the men try to pinpoint just how long she has to live so that they can make their flights home later. Clearly, everyone is hoping she kicks it that day so that they can all get back to work.
Cristina seems to be working with Swender today -- I'm not sure how on earth that happened since no one has worked an oncology rotation before (and my money is on after) this, but maybe she sold her services to get Izzie the appointment. Swender is clearly distrustful of Derek but ultimately leaves it with a shrug. "It's not my brain he'll be handling." She then looks at Izzie's chart and notices something that's all medical-ese and bad which means Izzie is going to have to be treated with the most toxic drugs possible. She goes to tell her patient but Cristina asks if maybe that's a bad idea since studies have shown that getting bad news before a surgery can up complications. For all of her bravado that she's in charge, Swender is totally unconcerned with the well-being of her patient and more concerned with the fact that she can fit in the delivery of bad news right now and she asks if Cristina is coming. Cristina clearly lies that Izzie isn't in her room so Swender puts it off for an hour and saunters off while Cristina ponders what it's like to have these strange, gracious things called "feelings."
The Chief has paged Alex and they talk outside in the hall while she knits. Other than her last hopeful look at him when she met with Derek, it seems she never notices him when he's outside, even when he's staring at her. She must have that "anti-boyfriend" glass in the windows. The Chief has a delicate and personal question for Alex, so he trips and stutters all over himself as he notes that Izzie is having her eggs harvested and that Alex is her current partner. Frozen eggs apparently have a better survival rate when fertilized, and then he stutters that this is a lot to consider. Without having to say what "this" is, Alex asks him for the cup, startling the Chief with his directness. He asks if Alex wants to talk to Izzie about it, but Alex wants to just have his special moment alone with the container without any more questions.
Callie watches Cristina work away and then walks over to Mere to ask if she is okay. Cristina has said that she is but Mere (and clearly Callie) don't believe her; Callie then turns and gives Mere the heads up that Hunt is coming down the hall. Mere is serious about her role as protector and just steps in front of him, blocking his way to her friend. Cristina doesn't notice, which is good because I think she wouldn't be happy at the idea of anyone playing bodyguard, no matter how well-meaning. But Hunt just stares at Meredith and notices Callie glaring at him as well, and after a moment he walks away. It's kind of funny that there hasn't really been any mention of PTSD by name up until this point -- yes, it was something horrible that he did and it absolutely can't happen again, but at the same time there's a very real reason that this happened and Meredith treating him as a run-of-the-mill wife beater doesn't seem quite right either.
But even if we aren't calling it anything, it's certainly there. Hunt goes up to the helicopter pad to help Derek with a patient and when he sees the blades of the chopper he starts to go into a trance like he did the night before. He doesn't strangle Derek or anything (which is a bit of a shame) but just stares vacantly and starts to breathe heavily. Derek comes over to grab him and notices that something is off -- it takes him calling Hunt's name a couple of times for him to snap out of it. He takes off and Derek meaningfully watches him go.
Alex is sitting in the on-call room with his cup, sneering at it like it went and snuck some cancer into Izzie's brain in the dead of night. He's saved by his beeper, and he runs out, leaving the cup on the table. I will tell you that thankfully we get no story that includes interns finding the thing and getting all atwitter about it, but he so pointedly leaves it behind in the unlocked room that I was expecting some sort of shenanigans.
Cristina wants to tell Meredith about how Swender has no "vision," but Mere wants to talk about how Cristina's boyfriend tried to strangle her. I think that must be the way Cristina can deal with all of these new charitable feelings she is having, to say Swender has no vision rather than saying she's a robotic, unfeeling cow who doesn't care about her patients' actual well-being. Mere finally points out that, "Hunt literally tried to kill you," adding that he's just back from war and obviously has issues but that it doesn't mean Cristina has to stand by him. Cristina just shoots back that if Hunt had a heart attack or lost a leg, would she walk away? She wants to know why this is different but again, still no mention by name of PTSD. "He's wounded. He has war wounds, Meredith. It's not cut and dried and it's not as bad as you think it is." Yes, yes, yes, and... well, this is pretty bad. I don't think she should handle it as Mere is suggesting, but she's not wrong that it's really freaking bad.
Alarms are blaring -- it's Joyce, and Alex is shocking her while her family looks on hopefully. Of course, this is not the normal hope you hear in this situation -- Tobin thinks it might be it and Luke breathes, "From your lips to God's ears." Joyce comes back, much to their disappointment, and Alex loses it and yells at them if they have any idea how many people are there that actually want the patient to live. "You're a bunch of vultures." JN defends that they aren't, and they all explain that Joyce was given a month to live three years ago. It crushed all of them and they held her hand and said their goodbyes... only to do this about once a month for those past three years. They want to be there when she goes but they're kind of over all of the extra frequent-flyer miles, it seems. As Luke reminds them he's got a big board meeting the day, the doctors all glare in angry judgment back at them.
Derek and Hunt are sitting outside on a bench and Derek tries to talk to Hunt about the PTSD, the only one to call it such. He tells Hunt that they have found altered brain anatomy in patients of the disease and are a lot closer to understanding the physical side of it, suggesting an MRI. I hope that he also ends up trying therapy because this makes it sound like there's some quick physical fix for the disease. Hunt isn't into talking about it even right now, and just demands to know what Meredith told Derek about the night. Hunt's issue is that he came back from war with all of his limbs intact and thinks that this is nothing compared to those that came back injured, or worse. He mentions his nightmares and freezing moments, and Derek cuts in to ask if what happened the night before was "a freezing moment." He offers to help but he's hit too raw a nerve and Hunt lays into him to mind his own business, since Hunt isn't the one that went nuts and now has the whole hospital gossiping. He yells at Derek to spend more time on himself and runs inside. I wish I could lighten this up but the bottom line is this is a horrible and sad situation -- and I'd shoot back to Hunt that if the whole hospital knew what he had done, there'd be at least as much talking behind his back as Shepherd has had.
Alex and his cup are back in the on-call room, which seems oddly appropriate, actually. The Chief knocks on the door and calls, "Just checking in! Seeing how you're c... seeing how you're doing." Why, Chief! Good save. Alex gripes that he'd be better if he wasn't listening on the side of the door and then gets really pissed when there's another knock. This time it's Meredith, who walks in and notes the boldness of leaving the door unlocked. She came in to see if Alex wanted to talk, and that's what causes him to lose it since clearly, the answer is yes even if he doesn't want to. He tells her that the situation is crap, and gets more and more upset as he goes on pacing and yelling, wondering if Izzie will even be there to use the little fertilized eggs one day. He finally gets to what's eating him alive, which is that he never suspected anything was really wrong when Izzie told him she was seeing a ghost. He starts to cry as he reminds Mere that he's a doctor, and she listens and agrees sadly that this whole situation is wrong and horrible. It's all heartbreaking, not least because in five seasons we've so rarely seen him this vulnerable.
Hunt is standing on Cristina's vent when she walks in and seems a bit taken aback to see him there. She finally comments that she hasn't seen him all day, and he immediately starts to ask what would have happened if he hadn't woken up. He starts to fall apart as he tells her how he would never hurt her, but then his hands just did it. He tries to tell her he can't do this but she pulls herself together and starts sternly reminding him that he did wake up. She doesn't let him break up with her, and reminds him that she knows her limits and what she can handle. Relieved, he slumps towards her and falls into a kiss, but she stops him, clearly not ready. After staring at him a moment, she leaves and he's left with the fan down there slowly turning, though this time it doesn't hypnotize him. Who knew there were so many propellers in everyday life?
Bailey walks into Izzie's room, and she happily measures the half-scarf against her boss. Bailey loves the green color and asks who it is for, and Izzie is oh so sly by not answering. Seriously, she might as well have just been knitting Bailey's name into the thing -- it wasn't the most smoothly executed part of the story. Bailey then tells Izzie about a colectomy she has later on and asks Izzie what she'd do, since she doesn't want her to get rusty. Izzie's not having it and asks if Bailey even thinks she'll be there in a year to do surgeries again, but Bailey answers very plainly that she thinks she will be there. That said, she again starts to give Izzie the surgical scenario and Izzie smiles at her. If every cancer patient had a friend like this at their bedside, I think the world would see an increase in survival rates from all the Awesome and good vibes.
Derek, meanwhile, is walking through Izzie's surgery in the empty OR. He's very solemn, and his movements are punctuated by a lot of very dramatic sighs.
Alex marches into the Chief's office and puts down a bag with a very conveniently placed green label to hide his contents, announcing that the cup is all filled up. The Chief is eating and fairly grossed out by all of the potential Alex that is sitting within a fork's length. Alex adds, "It's fine. I washed my hands." It had never occurred to me that this wouldn't be the case, so now I'm doubly glad to hear that. Richard asks if he spoke to Izzie about all this yet, since they are basically conceiving a child, but Alex just yells that he asked for his contribution, and here it is. He leaves with a patented, "Whatever," and the Chief tries to push the bag a little ways away so he can eat.
Out with the little people, George is eating in the cafeteria when Mere sits down and asks how Izzie is doing. George doesn't know, and when Cristina and Alex sit down Mere realizes that none of them have been to see her. They look at an empty chair, which is very clearly judging them all for being shitty friends.
Izzie, meanwhile, is holding a finished scarf when Bailey walks in. She's amazed that Izzie finished and Izzie lets out a sarcastic laugh about all the free time she had. Bailey guesses correctly that no one has been to seen her but Izzie tries to defend them, saying she wouldn't want to be in that room either. Now, I'm not the president of the Izzie Fan Club but even I know that's totally not true, and as long as there was no "intense hallucination" with whom she was having sex, she'd be the first one there taking care of her people. She tells Bailey that she doesn't have to keep checking up on her and Bailey says that she does... but then finishes that she has to give Izzie a pre-surgery IV and wanted to let her know how her colectomy went.
While Izzie lays in bed, Callie is spread out on a pew in the chapel. As Arizona watches her worriedly, Callie admits that she wished Izzie would die, and kept wishing it for a really long time. She's horrified at herself for not only that, but for wishing that when as a doctor she knows shit happens. Arizona, however, points out that Callie is the good person we know her to be by asking if she's currently praying for Izzie to die. Of course she isn't -- she's now praying desperately for her to live.
Joyce is flatlinging once again, and once again her family is all hoping for this to be The One. Alex finally yells at them to get out, and then pleads, "Come on Joyce, you old bag, don't give them the satisfaction." He charges again and gets a pulse, so then orders Lexie to make sure the family stays out. "Give her a break from all the love." Joyce, though, is there for a reason -- she grabs Alex's arm and tells him no. She croaks that they are impatient because it's been a long time, but that they always come to be with her. "They're my people. People keep you going. People are better than no people." And there we have the baseball bat to the head that Alex needed.
Derek and the Chief are outside the OR and Richard watches as his star surgeon scrubs in. Mere pokes her head in and when Richard tells her it isn't a good time she hands him Derek's ferry boat scrub cap. "He loves ferry boats." I didn't realize how much I enjoyed not hearing about the freaking ferry boats until that line. May it be the only occurrence for a long, long while. Izzie is inside staring at the ceiling.
Mere is walking away when Derek runs out after her, despite the fact that this means he'll have to scrub in again. He pleads that he's not ready but Mere assures him he is, so he changes his approach. He tells Meredith he needs to know that no matter what happens, he'll have her and basically tells her to say yes. It's a sign of how Meredith really has grown up that she won't let him off the hook like that. "Not if agreeing to be with you forever will make it okay if Izzie dies." She does, however, repeat that she loves him and he can do this. He drops his head, gutted that she didn't accept that fine example of a proposal, but she smiles at him and doesn't show how worried she is until she has turned and is walking away.
Alex, having finally realized that his dying girlfriend might want him around, runs to Izzie's room but finds it already empty.
Derek walks into the OR in slow-mo and when Izzie sees him, he says he'll see her soon. She hopes so, and Bailey cuts in to sharply correct, "Know so." Izzie then says that if something goes wrong -- which Bailey interrupts to say it won't -- the scarf is for her. Bailey sighs because that was a big moment for something painfully obvious and clunky, and Izzie sighs because she's about to have her brain cut up. Derek croaks out, "Beautiful night to save lives," and Izzie nods imperceptibly before Bailey puts the mask over her face.
Callie finds George beating the crap out of some poor, undeserving casts. She knows why she isn't camped out at Izzie's bedside, but when she goes to ask George what's up he cuts her off angrily. He's still angry that he asked Izzie tons of times what was wrong and she ignored him. And... yes, but also? Stage 4 cancer. She was a scared idiot, and being her best friend you should get it. Especially George, of all people -- this is a bit out of character and drama for drama's sake. He yells again about Izzie going to Cristina, of all people, and then Callie mentions, "And then there's the fact that she's your best friend and she might die on you. There's also that." He looks up at her and after a little bit of a struggle she takes the hammer from his hand and tells him they're going to go wait for her surgery to end. George doesn't want to so Callie gets tough and points out that he's why she wished Izzie was dead, so she owes him this. She knows that he really does care if Izzie lives or dies.
Mere is leaning up against the surgical board -- I hope she's not erasing all the names while she does that -- and the name "STEVENS" is written in almost comically big letters to her. We know Izzie's in surgery, people. Cristina then comes in and is followed shortly by some of the interns. Mere snaps at them to keep moving but Alex snaps back that they can stay, explaining that people are better than no people. It may take a baseball bat, but when he learns a lesson at least it sticks. It's actually really sweet how happy they are that they can stay.
Derek is working but keeps second-guessing himself before he does anything. Bailey calmly assures him that there's no rush and he can take his time, and reminds him that they are on his side. Well, I'd say they're on Izzie's side, but yes. Swender then pipes up to ask if something is really going to hold, and a surprised Bailey stands up for Derek and his past similar surgeries. Swender glares at them both but Derek keeps working.
Joyce is once again getting shocked, this time by Lexie. Finally, Lexie tells the family that she isn't responding and she's gone. JN thanks her but they are interrupted by a machine that shows her heartbeat kicking back in. The brothers are absolutely beside themselves, and Lexie is totally shaken up as she tries to explain that it's just her pacemaker firing. However, she's not allowed to call time of death in this situation. She heads out to get Mark while the horrified family stares after her in this weird situation.
Alex is once again pacing when Callie and George arrive to wait with the whole gang. Mere tries to again talk to Cristina about Hunt, but Cristina is tired of it and orders her to back off. Mere snips, "Hands around the neck?" and Cristina shoots back, "Ring thrown in your face," and walks away. Touché, indeed.
Mark has gotten to Joyce's bedside and holds something to her chest -- maybe a magnet or something -- that shuts the pacemaker off. Joyce flatlines and they call time of death, and then Lexie announces that they can all now go and catch their planes. This time, though, their reactions are very different and with wet eyes they all decide to stay for a while. Luke sits down and cries as Tobin takes his aunt's hand and strokes her hair, so we know that they really weren't horrible vultures after all.
The Chief walks up to the entire group and asks them the most obvious question of all time -- what are they doing? Meredith just looks at him but a drained Alex tells him they are waiting for Izzie. After shots of everyone's faces, Richard notes that they are scared and adds that he's scared too. He places his hand on Alex's shoulder for a moment before walking away.
Derek's having a bit of a hard time and swears as he tries to do something. When he asks for a new instrument, Swender pipes up to ask if he's sure he doesn't want something else. It's actually what Derek needed -- he tells her that the instrument he asked for will allow him to do the such and such with the so and so and not hurt the thingymabob, and all the while his voice gets stronger and louder. Having asserted himself, he finishes up his work while Swender glowers.
Bailey then walks out to the gang and reports that they got the entire tumor and Izzie is fine. Everyone is relieved but Bailey glares at the residents and snarls, "Your friend is just fine, no thanks to any of you. Tomorrow, do better." And with that short order, she strikes more fear and obedience than most people can with an entire speech.
Derek is standing somewhere moping when Richard asks if he and Mere shouldn't be out celebrating the successful surgery. He's in full-on wallow and says that Mere turned him down twice. Yes, and after those proposals how could she have done that? He does note that she said she "understands" and "forgives" him like that's nothing. He's contemplating a razor, thank goodness, and Richard shows back that Derek showed Mere his dark side, but she's never struck him as being afraid of the dark. Derek mumbles a bit and so Richard tells him that it was Meredith's idea to have Izzie harvest her eggs, to have a chance at the future. That means she thought that Derek would succeed, and she believes in him. He then leaves, and mercifully Derek starts to shave his neck.
Alex finally goes into Izzie's room where she and tons of her blonde hair are sleeping after surgery. He starts to cry and tells her that he's there as he takes her hand. Bailey walks by in her pretty green scarf and when she notices him, pulls it a little bit tighter around her neck before she leaves.
Cristina finds Owen in an on-call room, of course, and reports that Izzie's surgery went well. Hunt whispers that he wishes there was a way that they could be, and Cristina agrees; he's clearly been thinking about this all day. He stands up and with a cracking voice asks, "Can I hold you?" She walks towards him and they put their arms around each other and eventually kiss. Some sentimental dude guitar music starts and they begin to take off each other's clothes -- holy delicious arms, Batman! Slowly, and with lots of artsy camera angles, they finally do it.
Mere hits the button for the elevator but when the door opens, the Chief runs up and blocks her way, telling her she can't take that one, and she demands to know why not. Why not? Because we're about to experience what Mere-Der fans the world over have been wanting for five years. Because this episode wasn't named "Elevator Love Letter" for nothing. Mere is ticked off but Richard successfully blocks her way until the doors close, and she goes back to hit the button again. When the other elevator dings, he urges her to go on like he didn't just act like a complete freak. The doors open, and a clean-shaven, nicely-dressed Derek smiles at her from an elevator car full of scans and papers taped to the walls, and then invites her in. When did he get the little stripe of grey in his hair? I don't remember seeing it before, but it gives him character. I like it.
He first points out a set of scans belonging to Katie Bryce, who Meredith remembers. That was their first surgery together, their first save. He then shows her another set from a surgery where he kissed her in the elevator afterward. up is a set from the surgery when Bailey kicked Mere out, since she'd caught Mere and Derek hooking up in his car in her driveway. The set is from a surgery where she held a clamp for seven hours. "That's when I knew you were going to be an incredible surgeon." After that are Beth's scans -- she was the first survivor of their clinical trial and Meredith was the one who convinced Derek to do the surgery when he was too big a baby to want to do it himself. (I'm paraphrasing here.) The last set of scans belong to Izzie, post-today's-surgery. Meredith is beaming looking at them all, and turns back to Derek. He tells her that she gets everyone to move forward when bad things happen, because she's seen worse. When she says she's dark and twisty, it's a strength and not a flaw. "It makes you who you are." He tells her very matter-of-factly that he's not getting down on one knee or asking her a question -- it's kind of pompous and presumptuous, but at the same time sweet enough to be rather fitting for his character. "I love you, Meredith Grey. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you." She smiles and says she wants to do the same, and they kiss. I know this is going to kill the mood, but all I could think during the second half of that was, didn't anyone else need to take the elevator during that entire time? But really, it was a fitting proposal for this couple.
Cristina is in bed with Owen, who seems to be asleep and peaceful. After a moment, she whispers that she doesn't think, and then pauses. Choked up (no pun intended) she tells him, "I can't handle this after all." He asks what she means, clearly worried and she admits that she's lying there with him and she's afraid to fall asleep. I love these two as a couple anyway, but the level of acting in any scene with both of them is just spectacular -- she's just broken my heart.
Alex VO's: "It doesn't matter how tough we are." Hunt is getting ready for a CT/MRI (I cannot tell the difference between the machines whatsoever, they are just loud tubes to me) and he apologizes to Derek for what he said earlier. Derek assures him it's already forgotten, and Hunt thanks him sincerely for helping him before Derek sends him into the machine. Alex: "Trauma always leaves a scar."
Cristina is in bed alone, watching the fan that started it all with tears in her eyes and Kleenex balled up all around her. Mere walks in and quietly tells her that she's engaged, and Cristina responds miserably by telling Mere she broke up with Owen. She then lays back down and Mere crawls into bed with her best friend.
Alex: "It follows us home, it changes our lives." The actual Alex crawls into bed to Izzie, who mumbles something. Softly, he croons into her ear, "I spooged into a cup for you today." Even in her post-surgery state, Izzie seems to laugh and mumbles, "Thank you?" As Alex holds her hand and is just there for her, he finishes, "Trauma messes everybody up. But maybe that's the point -- all the pain, and the fear, and the crap... maybe going through all that is what keeps us moving forward. It's what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up before we can step up." And step up he did, and I really like the Alex that has stepped up. For that matter, I'd say everyone stepped up somehow and this episode really was the better for it. Three cheers for actual story! Turns out it's a really good thing for a show.