Okay, I'll admit it -- somewhere, deep down, deep DEEP down, I appear to have missed this show the tiniest of bits as evidenced by the fact that I thought this was a fairly entertaining hour. It's been six weeks since we last saw everyone and in that time, Derek and Rose have been on five dates, Lexie and George got themselves a roach-infested apartment (which George hates), and Meredith has been going to therapy but not actually talking to the therapist. George is also in a bad mood because as an intern he can't participate in the contest going between Mere, Cristina, Izzie and Alex. They've been sleeping at the hospital for two weeks straight in order to get surgeries, and there's a point system for everything they do, and today is the last day. Cheech is the first patient to arrive; all he has is a hurt ankle but Izzie jumps on it. She proceeds to then order tests for every obscure medical condition in the book, including giving him a spinal tap, only to find out that all he had really was a hairline fracture and a bit of the flu.
While she's busy making a fool of herself, a car drives up carrying two brothers and one's wife. The guy is covered in blood from a bear attack, and when he gets out of the car his intestines spill out all over Cristina. Alex and Cristina work on him along with Bailey and the chief, and the two of them do sutures for points. Meredith, meanwhile, takes the brother. When she's talking to his wife she's horrified to learn that he married his rebound girl, and starts to look hard to see if something is wrong that would affect his judgment so that he would do things like marry a girl after ten days and try to pet a bear cub. It turns out that she happened to be right, and he has an inoperable brain tumor. His wife is devastated to think that she was just a "symptom" of this, and Meredith doesn't do much to try and console her. Because Meredith caught a medical mystery, she earns enough points to win the contest and with it the Sparkle Pager -- a blinged-out, red, white and blue pager that the other residents must beep whenever they have a surgery, and Mere can take it from them if she likes. She's been affected by Brain Tumor and Rebound Wife, though, and ignores the pager to do a bunch of research about how it might be possible to remove tumors like the one she found. She presents the idea to Derek since she needs a neurosurgeon to be on the study. Rose is probably not going to like that, since she has blurted out to Lexie that she loves Derek. Fortunately for Rose, Lexie is too busy stealing supplies from the hospital to fix up the apartment to really care. When George gets home it's transformed into a weird, medical, but cozy space and she gives him an impassioned plea to give it and her a chance, since he's the only friend she has. He takes it to heart, decides to stop complaining, and they settle in on their hospital-sheet-covered couch.
Across town there's another cozy scene as Hahn and Callie have wine in Cristina's apartment. Cristina decided to pass up doing sutures for points for the win so that she could observe one of Hahn's surgeries (something she clearly only offered so that Cristina would lose.) When she gets home she can't help herself and the ass-kissing picks up, which only makes Callie and Hahn laugh and basically dismiss her. Will she figure out how to act like a normal person around Hahn? And while we're asking questions, are they really going to go the couple route with Hahn and Callie? We'll have to wait and see.
Welcome back, my lovelies! That was a nice break, but my poor DVR was starting to feel useless and needed things to tape, so thank goodness we are back. Let's let Meredith give us the rundown on this week's episode. "We like to think we are rational beings. Humane." Christine is asleep in her scrubs, surrounded by food wrappers. "Conscientious." Izzie's asleep on a gurney in the hallway. "Civilized." Alex is asleep in the on-call room. Well, that is the most civilized we've seen so far. "Thoughtful." Meredith is shaking her foot, playing with her watch and looking generally like she might vomit. Pan back, and you see that she's actually in therapy, and her doctor is Amy Madigan. It's her third session, and she has yet to say anything. Dude, Meredith in therapy is the most character development we've seen in four years, I'll take her just sitting there for now. She tells Dr. Amy that she read a study that just going to therapy is beneficial, even if you don't say anything. Dr. Amy asks if she's going to solve her problems by just sitting, and Meredith quickly counters that she doesn't have problems. So Dr. Amy asks why she's there. RealMeredith thinks, while her VO concludes: "But when things fall apart, even just a little, it becomes clear. We're no better than animals."
Now, I say I love all animals, but the cockroach seriously tests that statement. George and Lexie have gotten an apartment, and it's a disgusting hole already inhabited by tons of the little buggers. Lexie's calm about it, but George runs around like a madman trying to kill them. He won't look on any bright side, and refers to the space as "The Crapartment." Lexie pleads with him, promising that they'll figure out a way to fix it up, and tells him that she likes it and she'd like it even more if he liked it too. Seriously, the place is a hole but consider that she just moved out of her alcoholic father's house, George. Emotionally, this place is like a suite at the Ritz for her.
Meredith's VO continues: "We have opposable thumbs." Mere finally admits that her little problem is that she hasn't been able to sleep for five weeks. Now there's a surgeon I want working on me, ladies and gentlemen. She won't tell Dr. Amy what happened five weeks ago so she finally puts down her clipboard and leans forward to delicately admit that since she works in the hospital, she knows all the gossip. Meredith of course says Derek isn't why she's there. Amy asks what it is, and Mere is saved by the pager. She takes off, saying she's in a contest. If it's a contest for who is the most emotionally stunted, that's going to be some stiff competition but I think she's got it.
"We think. We walk erect." Cristina illustrates it by jumping up when her own pager goes off. Izzie also bolts upright with a yell of, "I'm up!" Mere comments, "We speak." And Alex, who is sleeping through his pager illustrates, "We dream. But deep down, we're all still rooting around in the primordial ooze. Fighting, clawing, scratching out an existence in the cold dark world like the rest of the tree toads and sloths. The girls power walk down the hallway and Cristina manages to reach out and trip Izzie. This is a good episode already!
Richard shows up and comments that the residents are in a contest. Bailey, holding Tuck and putting down her bag, plays dumb. Richard goes on to explain for all of us that for 14 days, around the clock, the residents have been sleeping in the hospital and taking part in a surgical contest for points. Bailey pleads ignorance but the girls zip on by so she comments that they're just committed. Richard corrects, "It's a lion fight." Bailey goes off to take Tuck to daycare and go about her business, telling him the lions can fight all they want. "I'm not a zookeeper." Richard tells her to keep her animals under control. He's issuing that order now? Too little, too late, I think.
They round a corner and there's nearly a pileup when Meredith stops dead in her tracks at seeing Rose and Derek laughing together. Cristina immediately acts like any good best friend and tries to tell Mere that Rose is "wretched and mean." Meredith's not buying it, so Izzie tries to help by saying she's heard they've only been on five dates. They're interrupted by George, who has stopped dead in his tracks and asked Izzie what she did to her hair. She can't answer because Meredith tells them that the stopping to talk about Derek and Rose means she's just going to kick their asses, and she takes off. "I cut it during the strike while I was off making movies and talking about how I'm so over this show," she tells him. Wait, did I mishear? Oh, I did. She tells him she cut it herself the night before because keeping it clean was hampering her play in the contest. "It just makes me faster and sleeker, like a cheetah." If you're a cheetah, then show us your speed by racing off of my TV screen in a flash, okay? George can't believe she chopped off her "hot" hair for a contest, which gives them all the chance to talk more about it. Cristina pointedly tells George it's for residents, trying to get him to go away, but Izzie babbles on about how he should try living in the hospital because it will make his life seem clearer. Or something. I've started letting my mind wander when she opens her mouth. Anyhow, the contest ends at the end of the day. They leave George behind to kick the wall because he's left out.
Derek and Rose come chattering along and she takes off while Derek joins Mark. Mark wants to know what he sees in her. (Okay, come on, folks. I'm not on the Rose train, but she's empirically really really good-looking and there's no way Mark wouldn't at least appreciate that.) Mark asks if she's just a wildcat in bed, in a few different ways, so while he babbles I need to comment on his facial hair, or rather his lack thereof. There's a teensy bit of shadow, but I'm not loving cleaner-shaven Mark -- some of the Hot is somehow missing without him being scruffier. That's just criminal, to take away the hot. Bring back the beard! It turns out they aren't sleeping together yet; Rose wants to wait until they're serious. Derek tries to convince Mark that the anticipation is better than sex, but he appears to not buy it.
The residents are all pulling on gowns when Alex runs in, demanding to know why they didn't wake him, and saying that would be the honorable thing to have done. Cristina tells him it's dog-eat-dog and to suck it. Seriously, there's no way Alex would have woken any of them. He's kind of the textbook example of being able to dish it out but can't take it. Callie and Hahn then come in all dressed up, drinking coffee, and giggling like schoolgirls. Cristina calls Callie over and can't believe that they're hanging out -- apparently they were out so late the night before that they didn't even go home and came straight in (Callie looking uber-hot in a black dress). Cristina can't believe they're hanging out and can't stop calling her "Dr. Hahn" while Callie continues to correct that it's "Erica" and confirms that they are indeed friends. She leaves and Cristina gripes that because of the contest she has been at the hospital while her roommate hangs out with Hahn, and that she should be doing that. Izzie, per usual, isn't really listening but is babbling about how she no longer needs men and sex because the "contest is her orgasm." Yeah, I will...never say that kind of thing.
Outside Alex has tallied up the points and Cristina is winning, while Izzie is 26 points behind. Through some taunting it sounds like she's only observing on procedures, which earns her very few points. Meredith points out that she needs to ask to participate. I like the idea that no one actually wants to let her do anything. An ambulance comes in with Cheech, who was found passed out with a swollen ankle. Cristina passes on him but Izzie takes it, hoping that this is another ankle that turns into a deadly medical mystery, since solving a medical mystery earns 80 points. Bailey comes out to bust the rest of them on trolling for cases, and starts to send them back inside. Fortunately for the contest and our viewing pleasure, a car zooms up and a woman inside is screaming for help. They open the doors and all three of the people inside are covered in various amounts of blood. The guy driving tells them to help his brother, who is in the backseat where the woman is pressing on his stomach with towels or something to stop the bleeding. Through all of the commotion it comes out that they were attacked by a bear. Cristina starts to help the guy in the backseat to a gurney, but as he gets out of the car, his intestines literally spill out into her hands. Clearly, the effects team was celebrating being back at work again.
Scott, the brother with the wayward intestines, is talking to the doctors as they try to stuff them back in. Dazed and clearly in shock, he tells them his brother reached out and touched a bear cub, and then the mama bear came back and went after them. He half-moans, "Why would he do that?" adding that they camp all the time and he knows better. The chief comes in and he and Hahn are ordering meds and procedures. Scott asks if he's going to put them under and Hahn assures him that it will be the best thing that's happened to him all day.
Scott's brother Phillip keeps asking in a panic how he's doing. George assures him that they will keep him updated. His hand has two giant gouges in it, and Callie comments that she can see through. His wife Jennifer (played by Clea DuVall) explains that the bear cub latched right on and wouldn't let go. Scott tried to help him out and that's when the mother came. Phillip grabs Jennifer's hand, just repeating over and over that his brother has to be all right.
In a much less urgent examination, Izzie is asking Cheech about his symptoms. She totally leads him on suggesting any number of vague symptoms -- dizziness, aching, fever, and also asks about tick and mosquito bites. He catches on to her manic tone and starts to think he's got something horrible. She tells him not to panic and that they'll take it one step at a time, which of course doesn't really reassure him of anything at all.
While Cristina, Bailey and the Chief scrub in for surgery (and Bailey makes her second comment about mama bears not messing around/being protective -- I feel like this is foreshadowing of some sort but if it is, it's not for anything this hour) Hahn comes in and says that while she's doing another surgery she wants updates on Scott. Cristina, unable to help herself, jumps in and offers to do it in a sweet, helpful voice. It's very unlike her and kind of getting a little bit old -- she should have a good idea that Hahn hates this by now. Alex leans in and tells her she doesn't get points for sucking up. Aw, that's my boy.
Lexie is in the supply room, pulling down various urine-related containers and stuffing them into a pillowcase. George slams in and bitches about the contest while she optimistically looks around and comments on how much stuff is in there. Izzie comes in and demands a list of supplies, many more than for a sprained ankle. George snorts at the idea that she'd get 26 points for an ankle, but Izzie brings up the aforementioned medical-mystery-ankle patient of Callie's. She's never heard that lightning doesn't strike twice in the same spot. George suggests it's just an ankle, but she lists all his symptoms and growls that it's not just that, and flounces out with the supplies that Lexie hands her. Lexie picks up a package of blue pads and says she could do a lot with them. George points out that they are underpads. "Underpads soak up urine." She counters that they could be placemats! Um, ew. There are things that can be repurposed, but having that staring at me while I eat might be a little much. As George leaves, she excitedly grabs a bedpan she can repurpose as a fruit bowl.
Meredith is having Phillip fill out forms, and he's delighted to fill them out faster than his wife, even though Meredith tells him they're illegible. There's then some cuteness that leads to the story that they are newlyweds, and in fact she was his rebound girl. Jennifer gets a little flustered and tries to stop his oversharing but he goes on as Meredith gets more and more uncomfortable. Out in the hall, Jennifer bursts into tears, and explains to Meredith that when you marry a guy as cute as Phillip is, you tend to wait for the other shoe to then drop. Or...you enjoy being married to a man you love? This feels more like her problem than their problem, but that doesn't work so much into the Great Meredith-Derek-Rose Metaphor. She starts to control herself and Meredith kindly tells her that she's bleeding. Jennifer tells her it's just a scratch from a tree branch and to prove it, takes off her hat... only to have her scalp flap down over her ear. A little tiny bit of my dinner just rose back into my throat, even though I was expecting something gross.
Derek and Mark have had a look at Jennifer and her CT, and Mark makes a comment about repairing something. As Derek has her squeeze his fingers, she repeats almost manically that she "just got happy," that she just got married, and asks if she has permanent brain damage. She sounds so desperate, however, that it feels like she's trying to convince herself of that. It's rather horrible to watch, actually. Derek tells her there's no permanent damage, asks them to page him if something happens, and there's a weird moment where Meredith snatches a pen that he hands to her, and Mark watches like he just spit on them or something. He then tells Jennifer that they can just sew her scalp back on and she won't even need surgery. He gets up to leave but before he does, leans in and tells Meredith, "Don't worry, he and Rose won't last." It's just another little moment in the strange friendship that I love so much between the two of them.
In the OR, Richard tells the docs a bunch of things that 1. give us time to pan over the giant, swollen intestines so lovingly crafted for this episode and 2. amount to the fact that he has to stabilize before they can operate further and that someone needs to do hours of sutures on his lacerations. Alex and Cristina both jump to offer -- turns out it's a point a suture. Three points for observing a surgery and one per suture? This contest doesn't seem completely fairly weighted. But hey, Izzie isn't getting the sutures so why should I complain. Bailey gives the job to Alex, telling Cristina that she needs to give hourly updates to Hahn. When Cristina argues that she can update her and then spend the rest of each hour stitching, Bailey gives and has them both do it over Alex's protests. She reminds them, "This man was a chew toy for a grizzly bear; there will be enough to go around." Richard notes dryly that they seem very enthusiastic about suturing. Cristina tells him she values the fundamentals and Bailey glares at her and informs him that it's a point a suture, adding, "Kissass."
And in our lightest storyline, Lexie notices a framed poster as she's walking down the hall. After looking around to make sure she's alone, she lifts if off the nail and scurries with it back through the door.
Callie takes a look at Cheech's x-ray and announces cheerfully that it's a hairline fracture. But Izzie sounds ominous, telling him about some swelling and other symptoms, offering to call someone. Callie asks about the labs and they're all normal, but then she asks to get the results of his "tap." Here's where I got really confused (and still am, actually) -- is she going along with all of these ridiculous tests and theories? She seems to be, but I cannot for the life of me imagine why. Cheech finally starts to freak out, pleading that he wants to go home. So do all of her patients, sir. He then start ranting about all of the things he wishes he could go back and do, or not do, in the case of smoking. He promises to be healthy and mentions that his saintly ex-wife told him to be healthy. He still in all of his laments calls Izzie beautiful and therefore falls down in my esteem just a little bit. All the while, Izzie just looks at him with fake concern.
Outside Cheech's room, Callie sees Cristina and Alex run by and asks, "Where's the fire?" Cristina brushes her off to say she's going to kick Alex's ass but then does an about-face and asks Callie how long she's been friends with "her mentor." Callie informs her that Hahn isn't her mentor, as she treats Cristina like crap and also, "if you weren't living in the hospital like a mangy dog you would have notice that Erica and I have been friends for a while!" Cristina asks if she's put in a good word but Callie informs her that they don't talk about her. When Cristina threatens that she has let Callie live with her, Callie notes that Alex is getting on the elevator and Cristina has to run after him.
Mere and George are looking at Phil's x-rays and Mere tells George he needs to just have the wounds cleaned for now. George offers to do it but then Meredith offers that he can stitch up Jennifer's scalp, which would be a lot of good practice. George, surprised, points out that it's a point a suture, but Meredith points out that Phil provoked a bear and married his rebound girl after knowing her for ten days. Matter-of-factly, she tells him, "I'm thinking brain tumor." It's absolutely insane, but she's not whining or moaning when she says it so I'm going to take it -- it turns out I can handle a lot more of Meredith Grey without all of her whining. George points out that he got married on the fly and he doesn't have a brain tumor but Meredith will only give him, "That you know of." He offers to stitch up Jennifer's scalp, telling her he's not going to sit around and watch her try and turn the guy's broken hand into a neurological problem to get more points. She cries that it's not about the points, so he points out the same scenario, but suggesting it's so she can talk to Shepherd. He's still out. She sticks her head out the door to yell after him that she doesn't need a reason to talk to Derek, and that she'll talk to him if he wants to... and of course Dr. Amy is walking by to witness the dysfunction in all its glory. Mere at least has the decency to look like she was caught.
Lexie is casually lifting more supplies when Rose comes by with a giant bouquet and cute-runs into Derek. She's there to see them banter, Rose explaining that a patient gave her the flowers but that Derek can buy her chocolates -- he informs her she's going to die of a diabetic coma, blah blah blah. Rose sets the flowers down as he leaves and drops her head into her hands. Seeing Lexie, she asks if Lexie has seen him. She then starts to babble, like all good GA doctors, about how she's trying to play it cool but seemingly without being able to stop herself, she blurts out that she loves him. Do I even need to say that Meredith walked in just in time to hear it? I didn't think so. Rose gets embarrassed (and doesn't see Meredith) but still flees. Lexie grabs the flowers and runs right into Meredith, who asks about them. Lexie asks if she's asking as a sister or a resident. Surprisingly, Mere tells her as a sister, so Lexie admits she's stealing them for the apartment. Taking the slight opening she's been given, Lexie asks if she's okay. Naturally, Meredith visibly shuts down, says she's a resident again and tells Lexie to stop stealing from the hospital.
Cristina and Alex are doing sutures while Richard and some others monitor Scott's vitals. Cristina is counting out loud (she's on suture #22), much to Alex's annoyance. Bailey comes in and Richard gives her an update, adding that Alex is only at 17. Alex yells, "You're not helping!" Bailey, in her best, "Oh no he DID NOT" voice asks if he yelled at the Chief; Alex apologizes, but Bailey threatens to stop the competition now. Simultaneously, Cristina, Alex and Richard all yell at her not to. The Chief backtracks awkwardly and tries to convince Bailey that they're doing good work. He then mentions to Alex that he's getting his ass kicked, and Alex points out that Cristina needs to give an update. Cristina, in a refreshing short reversion back to her old self, says Hahn can wait a couple of minutes, which horrifies Bailey. Tail between her legs, Cristina runs off. Bailey tells Richard he told her to keep the animals under control but he replies, "From time to time, I like to go to the zoo!" Is this really that different from any day with these hooligans?
Cristina goes in and delivers a technical report not worth transcribing and, as if reading my mind, Hahn tells her that's good and she'll "look forward to another scintillating report in an hour." Cristina thanks her and leaves, but once outside sprints back up to her sutures.
Mark and Derek are walking down the stairs and as Mark leers at a nurse, he suggests they have a contest. Since Derek and Rose aren't exclusive, they should have a contest, "One woman, ten points. Two women, same time, twenty points. You get out in the morning before anybody wakes up, five point bonus." He's a pig, yet I can't stop loving him. It's also strangely sweet to see him, in his own sick way, try to break up Derek and Rose so that he can go back to Meredith. Derek smiles and tells Mark he's a worse man for knowing him. Ah, bromance!
Izzie is administering Cheech's spinal tap, and he moans about how much it hurts, he's alone, and he's dying. These two were actually made for each other with all of their drama. Izzie declares that he made it there by a twist of fate and snzzzzz... oh man, sorry, I snoozed off listening to her act like a complete moron AGAIN. Basically, she rah-rahs that she's going to figure out what's wrong with him and make sure he gets better and then can live a healthier life and maybe even call his ex-wife.
Mere wheels Phil in to see his brother. He asks Scott how he's doing and he mumbles, "I feel like a bear ate my guts out or something." Come on, you can't not deliver that joke in this situation. Then Scott moans, "You touched a cub man, what the hell?" Like the disappointment is taking his last energy. Scott says he has no idea what he was thinking, and Meredith notes that he knew better than that. Scott adds that of course he knew better. He then starts to go on about Phil having a midlife crisis -- marrying his midlife crisis -- and how he's going to kill them all. Mere asks Phil if the wedding was out of character for him and Cristina, sensing that things are going downhill, suggests that Phil needs rest and they should leave. Phil reluctantly lets go of Scott's hand. On the happier side of the room, Cristina mumbles, "Where was I?" and the Chief tells her she's on 59. Cristina chuckles and warns Alex that he's toast. To Alex's advantage, however, it's time for another Hahn update.
Bailey walks past Hahn sewing up Jennifer's head and comes up to Izzie, when she notices the labs on the counter. She demands, "Why did we do a spinal tap on an ankle fracture?" When Izzie tells her she's doing a full workup, Bailey demands to know how many points. Izzie can't successfully play dumb (which is kind of remarkable since she is generally so dumb) and Bailey tells her to promise that she isn't doing a bunch of painful and unnecessary procedures on Cheech for the contest. Izzie goes over all of his symptoms and manages somehow to convince Bailey that it's okay -- she's skeptical, but she lets it carry on for now. It sounds like somehow the contest has dulled her own senses, because I can't imagine how Izzie really got away with it. George gets up and announces, "When you hear hoofbeats think HORSES, not zebras, right Dr. Bailey?" Bailey replies forcefully, "Exactly." So why on earth is she letting this go on? I don't get it.
Phil catches on that something might be up and tells Meredith he thinks she's worried about more than his hand. She mentions him squinting at his paperwork and also his tiny, illegible handwriting. He brushes it off and Jennifer asks if they can go get some rest, but Mere has them wait for one more test. She puts one hand on each side of his head and brings her fingers around, telling him to let her know when he can see them. He doesn't say "when" until she's right in front of his eyes and she jumps back, hands in the air, and triumphantly yells, "Tumor!" She does apologize and shrink a little at their puzzled faces. I suppose that on a level, what she's doing is just as bad as what Izzie is doing, since she is looking for something to convince her that Derek's not going to run out and marry his rebound girl, and the "Tumor!" move really was more of an Izzie Special. But yet somehow, I'm going to give her a pass because through all of it, there still hasn't been whining. And because I can't stand Izzie just that much.
Phil doesn't call her out on her completely thoughtless reaction, though, because he's busy denying that he could have a tumor, instead suggesting that he's just dumb enough to bait a bear. She asks Jennifer if he's that kind of guy and she chuckles that she's only known him a few months. Meredith lays out that the physical symptoms, the bad judgment, and the spontaneity are all possible symptoms of a tumor. Jennifer's face falls flat, and she offers, "He married a trashy waitress... I mean, that's what you mean, that he married a girl like me. The rebound girl." Despite the fact that Meredith was lead here by completely selfish motives, I also think that she liked Jennifer from the start and didn't mean this as a personal insult. Phil takes Jennifer's hand as Meredith says she just wants him to have an MRI to be sure. He refuses, but Jennifer tells him he has to do it because she wants to prove Meredith wrong and prove that Philip loves her. Brain tumor or not, he's looking at her like he really loves her, which I think is something Jennifer should consider more than just her emotionally-stunted doctor.
Cristina gives Hahn her update, but this time she's less collected about the whole thing. When she turns to run out of the OR, Hahn asks where the fire is and mentions the contest. Cristina admits that is it and that she's winning, when Hahn shows that I think, even more than her just not liking Cristina, she's got a bit of a general mean streak. She says that she was going to let Cristina watch her put in a new heart valve here but that she's probably too busy with the contest. Cristina hesitates only a moment before saying she'd be happy to watch and taking up a post at Hahn's side. As I've said before, Hahn's dislike of Cristina really is one-note at this point and this vindictive little bone she's throwing Cristina's way only makes that worse. I want to see either some change in this story or some more depth as to why she's such a cow, because the side story of her friendship with Callie isn't doing anything for me yet, though I get the idea it's supposed to.
Izzie is screaming, "Crap, crap, CRAP!" while she reads Cheech's test results and when George comes in she tells him, totally disappointed, that everything is clean. George throws back that both she and Meredith are doing unnecessary medical procedures to win a contest but instead of that shedding light on her unprofessionalism, Izzie is shocked and dismayed to hear that Mere also has a medical mystery. Izzie claims that she knows something is wrong because, "Great doctors have that instinct." If we don't at some point have someone really get through to Izzie about what a selfish, blind, hurtful moron she is, I'm going to scream. Talk about one-note. George tells her that good doctors know when to stop but she doesn't listen, she only goes on to say she needs to prove she has a good instinct because her other instincts have all been bad lately. (Cardio, sleeping with George, etc.) She says she's going to win because she has to win.
She stomps out and finds Meredith to answer her page. She shows him the MRI that shows that Phillip has one big brain tumor, and tells him she doesn't need an apology because it's enough that she's saved a life. He tells her she called him in to gloat but she says no, and admits it's that she needs a favor and hands him an envelope.
As this week's soulful indie music starts up, the Chief and Alex have a Moment. The Chief, watching him do sutures, calls him an underdog -- he's got the skills, but he's scrappy and a fighter, which he likes. Alex says that he's a fighter, but not an underdog. He uses Scott as an example, that Scott didn't provoke the bear yet here he is fighting for his life, "paying for someone else's mistakes." He's not an underdog, he, "just has to work hard to overcome the cards he got dealt." Richard looks deep in thought as the alarms all start to beep that Scott is losing the fight. Also, while I can appreciate a slow build, I think we need to start learning a little more about Alex's past if his difficult upbringing is going to keep coming up every week. It's getting boring just to hear about how he had it hard but he just plows ahead. It's time to give us something or put it on the back burner again.
Derek looks at the MRI and remarks that it's of Meredith's patient, and asks George if she didn't want to come to him herself. George tells him he's just her intern, while Meredith watches from down the hall and through a window.
Richard and Meredith then have to tell Phillip that his brother has died, and Jennifer consoles him. His shoulders start to shake, but rather than cry he begins to laugh and Jennifer looks at him with a horrified expression. Richard tells him there's more and Meredith adds that a neurosurgeon is coming, but Jennifer won't leave it at that and demands to know what's going on. Meredith quietly tells them that he does have a tumor, which only makes Phil laugh harder as Meredith points out that it can cause these inappropriate reactions. It's too invasive for them to operate and at these words, Phil seems to calm down. Mere tells them sincerely that she's sorry, but Phil just tells her he deserves it; since he killed his brother, he doesn't deserve to survive.
Jennifer runs after Mere as she leaves the room, and crying, asks Mere to confirm that she's just another symptom of the tumor. Meredith tells her that she doesn't know, and that Jennifer is the only one who knows that for sure. It's heartbreaking to see in her face that she thinks that it's true.
Izzie has to eat crow and admit to Cheech that he's got nothing more wrong with him than a fractured ankle and a minor flu. She of course doesn't say it outright, but leaves him to ask her all sorts of questions to figure it out. When he does, he's appropriately horrified and angry. She tries to bring up the great realizations he had and his feelings for his ex-wife, which only inspire a tirade as he screams at her about what a bitch his ex-wife is and how much hell Izzie put him through that day. It's rather satisfying, especially when her face finally cracks just a little bit and she can't keep up her aloof, "Oh well," face. He won't listen to her apology and screams more about how she treated him like a lab rat and finally, she runs away.
The residents all gather outside the conference room where Bailey is tallying up the point totals. All of them snark at each other and trash talk except for Meredith, who stays glum and quiet behind the rest of them. Bailey finally comes out with Tuck, who I think makes an excellent Seattle Grace mascot, and congratulates Meredith on her win. The rest all bitch and moan and grudgingly congratulate Meredith, who looks uncomfortable. She turns to leave but Bailey calls after her to give her the reward -- it's a pager solidly encrusted with red and white crystals. What it most resembles is a Seattle Grace spirit stick, which is AWESOME. It's known as the "Sparkle Pager" and as Bailey says, is the surgeons' Holy Grail, passed down from resident to resident. For the three months when any of them get a surgery they have to page the Sparkle Pager and Meredith has the right to take the surgery from them. Cristina especially is completely offended, but Meredith can't muster up anything other than a wan smile. Bailey then sends them all home to bathe and get out of her face. Alex, Izzie and Cristina all try and get Mere to give up the pager but she just takes it and walks away looking thoughtful.
Derek and Mark are in their street clothes in the elevator. After a moment, Mark spits out that he doesn't like Rose and it's his duty as a best friend to tell Derek that. But it's Mark, so the first reason he gives when Derek asks why is that he isn't sleeping with her. Derek tells Mark that's weird but Mark gets a bit more serious (as serious as these man-to-man chats can be) and tells him that if he was sleeping with her, then he'd get why Derek was spending time with her. He then leans forward and whispers that he, "thought it would just be you and me." Derek asks, "Having sex?" "After!" Mark yells. He says that he waited patiently through Addison and Meredith (well... sort of) and that now it should just be the two men together on the prowl. This speech would pack even more of a punch if he had all of his sexy stubble and didn't look like a little-boy version of himself. Derek guesses that Mark can't get any and needs Derek's help, which Mark vehemently denies. After a beat he says that Derek is the only person he can talk to. Derek mocks him that he's very sweet, and Mark yells at him to shut up and asks if he's serious about Rose. Derek doesn't know, but says he could be. I take that to mean he's probably not but he's trying to so that he can spite Meredith. Maybe that's just me? Mark sighs and says that he'll give her a chance.
Richard comes across Izzie doing paperwork in the empty clinic. For once, she's subdued and seems rather embarrassed, especially when she realizes he knows about the contest. He tells her he knows about the $150,000 (!!) worth of unnecessary tests she did on Cheech. She looks upset but then of course loses any sympathy by saying that she lost. She admits she also put a man through hell, but it doesn't seem to be her first worry -- wallowing is really the name of her game. Richard says he doesn't need to yell, then. She tells him that he can and he should, but that he doesn't need to, and he nods and turns to leave. He then turns back to say that he lost the contest by 2 points his resident year. He repeats that it's a lion fight and she should celebrate her wounds and be proud that she's a competitor. "Just because you didn't win doesn't mean you don't know how to roar." I don't get it. I don't get why she's still there, other than that maybe when you donate millions of dollars to create a free clinic maybe you get a pass on wasting $150K in a single afternoon. But she smiles and as he leaves, she straightens up and seems to think. Don't worry, I'm sure it's just a reflex and her mind remains as empty as it always is.
Meredith's VO begins to wrap things up. "There's a little animal in all of us. And maybe that's something to celebrate. Our animal instinct is what makes us seek comfort, warmth, a pack to run with." Cristina gets home and finds Callie and Hahn in her living room, laughing and having wine and snacks. She's immediately paralyzed and the brown-nosing instincts take over as she prattles on about what an honor it is to have Hahn there. Hahn can't contain herself and bursts out laughing, as does Callie. When Cristina takes a step forward she gets a look from both of them that says she's not invited to this party. Head down, she makes her way into her room, but she peeks back around the door to watch what she's missing and can't seem to find with her would-be mentor. "We may feel caged.
We may feel trapped. But still, as humans, we can find ways to feel free." George slams the door open into the apartment and is in such a snit that he doesn't notice for a moment that the apartment has been transformed into a colorful, inviting, oddball nook. Lexie is standing in the middle of the room staring at him, and before he can say anything she jumps in to speak. She says that she knows it's not much, it's stolen, and it's all hospital-like. But as she's saying that, there's a close-up on the little touches, like using various medical containers for different types of pasta, and it's really cute. She says that she knows she's a thief but that actually it's her nesting for him; she knows he hates it there and would rather be at the house with his friends, but that she doesn't have anyone else and she wants him to like it there. Probably the only person this speech wouldn't affect would be Izzie Stephens, but as George really is a good guy at heart he's struck by what a jerk he's been. He notes that he complains too much and he's going to stop immediately and focus on what's good. He even stops himself calling it the "crapartment." Meredith's disembodied voice narrates, "We are each other's keepers." George then says she should have stolen a TV, and she laments that she tried but they're all bolted to the wall.