New Camille, Chief's niece, comes in with some more almost-death, and it takes a while, I guess, for everybody to recognize her from her prom because of all their sex and death and lying in bed with dead guys. Adele and Weber fight about Camille's desire to just die already, and it's kind of touching, but Weber is very resistant. Adele gives Weber her eighty-seventh weird McDreamy ultimatum about putting medicine before family.
Speaking of Derek, here are all the ways he fucks up this week: palling around with Lexie in front of Meredith, causing her to freak out about Lexie, causing Cristina to ride Lexie pretty hard, but legitimately. They work together on a case involving Horace (my favorite character) from Commander In Chief, having issues with his dad-slash-coach. Yang yells at Lexie, and Derek throws her out of the OR because he actually wants to discuss his nonexistent, creepy relationship with Meredith. Then at the end, he gives Meredith this long, very McDreamy speech about how he hopes to settle down with some other woman that is not her, but until then, they can fuck. Because Meredith is even more effed up than him, she's like, "I thought that was what we were doing the last three seasons," and doesn't stab him in the eye for actually out-grossing her this week.
Mark hands off this lady who is not dying to Meredith and Norman, the Oldest Living Confederate Intern, and they tell her she's dying, ruining her life. Norman spends the whole time being absofucking awful, cutesier than a Gilmore Girl Pushing Daisies after snorting a Wonderfall of Pixie Sticks, tossing around elderly hipster dialogue and every monstrous catchphrase this show has ever tried to float, one after the other, like a horrible unending commercial about how your grandparents are actually capable of using cell phones. On the other hand, his hair is really awesome.
And then there's Torres, who manages to be completely ruined in about ten seconds of lady-hating bullshit. Starts off weird, with Callie opening the episode "forgiving" George for cheating on her, because they're married and they'll get over it. Fine. I mean, he's begging for reasons to leave you, but on paper, it works. Then the whole hospital gets abuzz with this Three O'Clock High lunchroom fight that's supposedly happening with Izzie. It doesn't, but Callie realizes everything about this is gross. As does Alex, who tells both of Gizzie that they are disgusting -- but lest you think his moral center has activated, he makes sure we know it's because he tried to date Izzie after Denny died, and she wasn't feeling him. Callie takes all her rage from the abortive Izzie fight out on the quasi-controlling boyfriend of a doomed anorexic patient (played by my favorite Mad Men actor), but is stopped from beating him down by Bailey, who questions her professionalism in a major way. Then, Callie turns on Izzie's ill-advised apology, calling her a whore. Ladies, please. Of the two people in the marriage, which one's cheating? Callie gives her this long, nasty, ugly, hateful speech about how a man who cheats on his wife is apparently A-okay, while an unattached woman who sleeps with a married man is a whore. That's fine to tell yourself, Callie, but the fact is that Izzie didn't cheat on you: George did. Izzie's not married to you, she didn't make promises to you, and she owes you nothing. Your husband is not something that can be "taken" by anybody else, and my strong Dr. Calliope Iphigenia Torres would know that. Bringing feminism into it makes a mockery of feminism, marriage, George's adulthood, and Callie herself. Not even George buys her forgiveness pose. Bad form. I never thought Gizzie would be the thing that turned me off this show, and I certainly never thought Callie would disgust me more than Meredith, but amazingly, this episode's managed both. Guess we'll see what happens .
Previously on Grey's Anatomy, Meredith and Derek broke up, Norman the World's Oldest Intern started working at the hospital and so did Lexie Grey, the Chief's niece had ovarian cancer, Izzie wouldn't kiss Alex after Denny died, and all of last week's episode.
Mere starts us up as usual. "In life, only one thing is certain, apart from death and taxes." Which is that that particular cliché is used way, way too often. ...No? Hmm. Her answer is, "No matter how hard you try, no matter how good your intentions, you are going to make mistakes. You are going to make mistakes. You are going to get hurt. And if you ever want to recover..." George and Callie are in their room; it looks like he's been standing and she's been sitting there all night, and he is begging her to just say something. Mere finishes, "There's only one thing you can say." Callie finally speaks to tell him, "I forgive you." Clearly, from the look on George's face, this was the one answer he wasn't expecting at all. She goes on to explain that he made a mistake, but that they took vows and so she forgives him. In addition to not expecting this, his face says it's not really what he wanted to hear, either.
George sprints through the hospital while on his phone, begging Izzie to answer hers. Given the fact that she's done nothing but stalk him, I'm frankly surprised she doesn't have it set to a special "George" ring so that she doesn't miss him. Something subtle like, "The Greatest Love of All." Mere sees him run by and calls after him about rounds in five minutes, but he's a cartoon blur saying he needs to find Izzie. Derek then gets into the elevator where Mere's waiting as if on cue. Once the doors are closed and it becomes a love nest, he proposes going away for the weekend. She comes up for air and warily says that sounds like a couple activity, but he relentlessly illustrates that it will just be the kissing like they're doing right now. Presumably with fewer layers of pesky clothing in between. She continues arguing that they didn't even go away when they were a couple, while he keeps trying to convince her that though they'd be in wine country, they will not have a chance to drink any wine. Meredith finally clues in to the idea being a weekend of nothing but sex, and agrees that she's in, if she can find someone to cover her shift. As she gets off the elevator, she saucily calls back that she's in for 48 uninterrupted hours of "this." Mere, maybe you should yell it a little louder; I'm not sure every single person on the floor heard. And trust me when I tell you that they all know what "this" is.
Looking happily disheveled and post-"this," she runs into Cristina, who can't believe that she's in the pit today with "smackheads and gangbangers and my idiot interns," while Mere is getting "McDreamied" in the elevator. Good point, except that Seattle Grace is not actually a gritty urban hospital with quite that clientele, at least as a general rule, which Meredith points out. But Cristina's actual point is that she hates her interns. Mere does the unthinkable and says that Lexie isn't that bad, shocking both me and Cristina to the core. Mere admits that she still hates the idea of Lexie, but that the actual girl is okay. Cristina maintains that she is, on the sole basis of being an intern. Meredith remarks that Cristina might be the new Nazi, and she proudly replies, "Damn right." Meredith sends her own interns to get charts and then hops over to Alex to ask if he'll work for her on Saturday. The deal they strike is that he'll do it if she takes Norman for the day. Norman is currently sitting among a group of kids, putting stickers on their noses. I think this is supposed to illustrate how out of place he is, but I just find it irresistibly cute.
George is still doing laps around the hospital since he hasn't found Izzie, and Meredith calls after him that she'll have to put him in the clinic if he misses rounds. He's clearly been running too fast to think, and mention of the clinic reminds him that it is a possible Izzie Location, so he sprints there. He seems to have fairly good stamina with all this running; I think that if he fails again as an intern, he could just start running for a few months a la Forrest Gump. I'm not sure he could actually grow the requisite facial hair, though. He is always one remarkably clean-shaven man.
Bailey's in the clinic -- do they let her work entirely down there now? -- and she greets a patient named Ruthie and Ruthie's boyfriend, who seems totally douchey when, by way of introduction, he condescendingly jokes that he told Ruthie not to read on the Stairmaster. Turns out she fell off of one the night before and popped some ibuprofen for the pain, only to wake up with an ankle as swollen and blue as Ava's face when they first got her to the hospital last season. It turns out Ruthie takes it every day anyway because of all her working out, so she just doubled the dose, but it didn't help at all. When Bailey orders x-rays, Ruthie asks if she can have a cortisone shot instead so that she can still meet her trainer. Of course the answer is no since they don't know what's wrong, so Ruthie just asks how long it will take so that she can at least let her trainer know. This is why I feel like I'll never be in any danger of working out too much. My general attitude is, "Oh my gosh, a paper cut? That's it, clearly I can't work out until it heals." The scene is punctuated by George busting in, but Bailey sends him off to the pit since Izzie isn't there.
Once there, George only finds Lexie, who hasn't seen Izzie either, but she asks if George has seen Cristina. She's all nervous about screwing up, desperate for Cristina not to come up with more reasons to hate her, and she asserts that she's going to answer everything correctly and take no more abuse. Naturally, from behind her, she hears, "Three! Incoming. Let's move." She makes an "oh shit" face and runs after her boss.
They go into a patient room where Derek is with Adam, a football player who seems to have been paralyzed while playing, and his father, who Adam clearly hates. Dad shows us why right away by insinuating that the accident was Adam's fault, though his son disagrees. This guy makes the ineffective dad from the season premiere look like Father of the Year. Derek sends Dad out of the room and they get ready to cut off Adam's football helmet. Lexie holds his head steady as Derek calmly talks him through it, the complete antithesis of his father.
George is still racing around the hospital in what has turned out to be a less comic and more tiring gimmick than I think was intended. The Chief sees him and asks what his hurry is, and as George yells that he can't talk, he crashes into a cart full of supplies. He apologizes profusely as he slowly gets up, and again says he needs to find Izzie. (He refers to her as Dr. Stevens, which...I just can't, she's too dumb for the title.) Chief tells him she's at the third floor nurses' station, and calls after George's limping figure that Dr. Torres is also looking for Izzie. Seriously, I cannot possibly be made to believe that no one has figured out what's up with all this crazy frenzy. George looks sick to his stomach and hobbles off.
The elusive Izzie is at that moment walking along and waxing eloquent about the importance of charting, even if it's not as sexy as surgery. "Believe me when I tell you, people: penmanship saves lives." Yes, maybe she can write Callie a note later that will keep Callie from killing her. George is racing towards her, still calling her, screaming, "What kind of doctor doesn't pick up their phone?!" Izzie the really shitty, unprofessional doctor, that's who. She continues on about distinguishing numbers on charts, saying if she can't read something during an emergency, "Your patient is dead. You killed him. With your handwriting." I sincerely doubt this is doing anything to convince her interns that they didn't get the dud. George finally catches up with Izzie, but as he gets there, she turns to see Callie right behind her; Callie announces that they have to talk. She says that George told her everything, and Izzie has nearly turned to stone. Callie orders, "Cafeteria. Noon. You and me. Be there." Izzie nods, and one of her interns asks another if Callie will kick her ass. George has hidden away to watch the whole thing. Quite the man.
George comes out of hiding after his wife leaves, and he heads over to get some abuse from his lovah. She's absolutely indignant that Callie forgave him and seems to be mad at her instead. This girl needs a serious lesson in directing her emotions to the appropriate places. George explains that Callie told him he had a rough year and made a mistake. Naturally Izzie spits, "Oh, so now I'm a mistake." Well, yes, a phenomenally horrible one. But he just insists those were Callie's words and not his, as Izzie's interns inch closer and closer to hear what's going on. There's more bickering back and forth, and Izzie is sure Callie's going to kill her. "She breaks bones for a living, George. She's crazy." He insists she's not, but Izzie just counters, "Well, she is if she thinks I'm not gonna put up a fight." The only good that I can see in having to sit through this scene is that it means we're at the beginning of the end of all of this nonsense. George looks as nauseated as I do by all of this, but I imagine it's for rather different reasons, since now his girlfriend and his wife will be cage-fighting.
Derek, Cristina, and Lexie are looking at Adam's scan, and Lexie expresses surprise that even with his son paralyzed, the dad is still riding him. Cristina instructs, "Focus more on the medicine, Three, and less on the tragedy." Derek asks if it's some sort of nickname, and picks up on the dejected tone when Lexie tells him it's a nickname of sorts. He then asks Dr. Grey The Youngest how to proceed; she correctly answers weight traction, and when he compliments her, Cristina's eyes roll up to the heavens. He then changes the subject to ask how she and Meredith are doing, and Lexie jumps right into her favorite subject to say things are still weird and she thinks Mere still hates her. Derek insists she doesn't, and Cristina's eyes continue to roll. As Lexie hopefully asks if he really thinks so, Cristina interrupts to try and send her out to check a patient's dressings. Derek, for all his shortcomings, catches on immediately to her dismissal and sends Cristina herself instead, which gives Lexie the slightest of smiles. Cristina goes without hesitation -- the sweetness in her voice clear evidence of her inner rage.
Mere, meanwhile, has hooked up with her intern for the day and introduces him to Sloane. As everyone does, he mistakes Norm for a doctor and is rather surprised to learn he's an intern. Norm awkwardly covers the moment with, "I know, right? It's like, seriously, you're an intern? But it's seriously true! Seriously!" I must admit, it's kind of fun to see them mocked at their own game here. Mark is gracious and hands him a pile of charts, but glares at Meredith. Once he's gone, Norm asks, "So is he the one you call 'McDreamy,' or 'McSleazy,' or, Mc, uh..." She interrupts him to start their day of delivering labs and discharging patients. The first one up is being discharged to hospice, which she explains is what happens when there's nothing else the doctors can do. He catches on that this means they're telling someone that they are going to die, but Meredith assures him that she'll teach him the protocol. "McSteamy! He's the one you girls call McSteamy!" He then giggles deliciously. He may be so clueless as to be a slight liability, but man do I love watching all this through his perspective.
Callie seems to be sleepwalking through her day -- a fairly understandable state for someone who just found out her gutless husband had sex with the most bitchy and aggravating of all of his female friends. She's surprised to see George in the X-ray room with Bailey, but cuts off his pathetic stuttering to ask what's up. They show her the shot of a completely shattered ankle, and she orders immediate surgery and begins to leave. Bailey asks about tests, and Callie just floatily tells her that she sees this all the time in older women, at which point Bailey has to correct her that the pieces of this ankle belong to 28-year-old Ruthie. Callie doesn't seem to entirely absorb the significance, but says to call her with the test results. Once she's gone, Bailey tries to ask George what's up, but he says he can't talk about it and that Callie is fine. Presumably he could have said she's not okay while keeping the reason to himself, thereby possibly getting her some help, but that would be the mature thing to do.
Mere's in the middle of Death Notification Training with Norm, telling him to be polite and detached but not cold. At his question, she explains that you do this by showing you care without actually caring. Kind of like the way I manage to recap the George/Izzie relationship. She explains that if doctors get emotional, then the patient gets scared and emotional, which is bad. Norm asks, "Seriously?" becoming my new boyfriend in the process. She tells him to cut it out and then says that she knows it's hard being older, but that it will be easier if he lets it all go. "Just focus on the medicine!" Cristina of course comes by at that very moment to tell her that Derek and "the other Dr. Grey" are bonding. Thank goodness Ellis isn't around or else we'd need our own subset of McGrey nicknames to distinguish all of them. Meredith is, of course, appalled and gets even more upset when Cristina has no details other than that they're talking about Mere. She turns back around and needs to ask Norm what she was saying: "You were saying how important it was to focus on the medicine." Yes, but if we focused on the medicine, there'd be no material for a successful prime-time TV show. ["Oh, is that what this is?" -- Sars]
Back in Adam's room, Cristina is explaining how they'll use a halo, weights, and traction to realign his spine. He's clearly terrified and asks about the traction, so Lexie explains that it's just like the gym -- they'll use weights to stretch his upper body until his spine pops back into place. That certainly sounds a little more horrifying than any trip to the gym I've ever made. Cristina adds that unlike at the gym, the weights will be attached to his head by bolts in his skull. See my last comment re: my personal gym experience. Adam trembles and remarks that it sounds painful, but his dad jumps in to say that it would be more painful to not fix it and not walk again. Most painful, I'm sure, would be what Adam would do to his father if not immobile right now. Derek looks rightfully alarmed at the tough-love parenting going on as Dad asks, "Are we gonna do this thing, or what?"
A woman is in her hospital bed, shrilly sobbing -- Norm failed to remain unemotional in telling her that her days were numbered. Mere advises him to apologize one more time, but as he goes forward to speak again, his eyes fill up, and he starts crying as he does so. The only thing left for them to do is to slowly and respectfully back out of the room.
Izzie finds Alex stitching up a guy's arm, and asks him for a favor. I'm sure the guy whose arm is the centerpiece to this conversation really appreciates being involved. Izzie asks what Alex is doing at lunch and he tells her jovially, "Well, according to my interns, I'm watching Torres kick your ass all up and down the cafeteria." Izzie wonders how they know, which tells Alex that it's true. He asks what Izzie did, and as she denies that she's responsible for this in any way, someone off-screen screams for help. Stitches Guy just hangs out, seemingly unperturbed at first being gossiped around and then getting left with thread sticking out of his arm.
A girl that we know is the Chief's niece (despite being played by a new actress) is gasping for breath on the table, and Adele breathes a sigh of relief that people she knows are now on hand. Izzie takes a long moment to pull her hair back into a ponytail as Alex checks out Camille. I don't know if that moment was meant to make her look even more unprofessional than usual today -- that's really a hard thing to do at this point -- but it has that effect. They can't intubate since something is blocking the airway, so they decide to go in surgically through her neck. Alex asks how many times she's done this, and in front of the girl's mother and aunt Izzie admits that this is her first, adding, "We better not screw this up." This is like a lawsuit just waiting to happen. Do they not teach these people at least to give the impression that they know what they're doing in front of a patient's loved ones? Camille's mom freaks out when they cut her throat, and at all the blood, Alex asks if she hit an artery. Izzie spits, "No, at least not on purpose." It's just another chapter in The Book Of Why Not To Be A Seattle Grace Patient. There's a few tense moments, but they intubate successfully. But Richard then walks in and demands to know what they hell they're doing to his niece. Hopefully not screwing up, Chief.
Alex and Izzie are now in the OR with the Chief, operating on Camille as he laments that she didn't need another surgery. Alex points out that she wasn't breathing, and he concedes that they did the right thing. He exposits what we learned before the prom -- that Camille was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at age 14, and has had both of her ovaries removed, as well as a hysterectomy. At that moment they find a huge mass in her airway, which Richard says they'll remove, but that they won't know how many more there are until they do a study. For the first time in memory, definitely at least this season, Izzie has a sincerely nice moment and tells him that she's sorry. He replies that Camille beat the cancer twice before. "She'll beat it again."
Mere and Norm happen upon Cristina in the hall, and Mere announces she just had to tell a 48-year-old woman she's going to die. Cristina points out that she could be telling a 24-year-old woman she's going to die, and motions towards Lexie laughing with Derek. Meredith is completely appalled, especially since she was nice to Lexie but is being repaid with Lexie talking about Mere behind Mere's back. Just then Lexie comes up and says hi. Norm greets her with an awkward-sounding "'Sup, Lexie?" and she can only laugh nervously yet politely. Mere grabs him and leaves, and once alone, Lexie tells Cristina that they're to meet in Adam's room in ten. At the dead silence, she suggests that Cristina could acknowledge that she heard her. Cristina finally looks up to say that she gets Lexie using the "Grey Sister" angle, but she's Cristina's intern and it's on Cristina if she kills anyone. Cristina orders her against the wall for the rest of the day. "You're an intern. Are we clear? Three?" Lexie waits a moment, screwing up her courage, and replies, "Lexie." She's only poked a sleeping bear, based on Cristina's tone, but she repeats that her name is not Three and walks away.
Back in Ruthie's room, George remarks that they found low electrolyte, calcium, and vitamin D levels, and asks if Ruthie's dieting. She and her creepy boyfriend both look delighted, and she tells the romantic story about how he promised her she could move in if she lost 40 pounds. It would only be more romantic if he could actually have been her personal trainer as well, the better to yell the pounds off of her. At the less-than-excited reception the deal receives, Ruthie justifies that they both just needed motivation, and that he quit smoking for her. Bailey ignores this love story for the ages to tell her that fixing her ankle won't help if she doesn't start eating more and working out less. When she asks for backup from Callie, however, Callie just stares out the window and can't seem to hear what's up. She finally agrees, so Ruthie's boyfriend gets angry at the idea of his girlfriend needing adequate nutrition to help her through surgery. "We came here to get her leg fixed. So fix her leg." Bailey defers to Callie, who just meekly tells him, "Okay." It's clearly an off day if he can act that way in front of the two biggest ass-kickers in Seattle Grace and get away with it with his balls still attached to his frame.
Mere and Norm report back to Sloane, who asks how the death talk went. He's surprised to hear that there were tears, since he thought the guy would take it like a man. There's a lot of pronoun-induced Dawning Horror as Meredith realizes that they told the wrong patient that he going to die. Gretchen Bitzer, as it turns out, was just in to have a few moles removed. McSteamy's earning his nickname with what's coming out his ears, and Norm tries to sound cool when he utters an "Oh, CRAP."
Weights clink against each other and Adam's dad reiterates that it's just like the weight room. He then tells the doctors proudly that Adam's been weight training since he was eight years old. He and Ruthie's boyfriend should get together and make a workout video. Lexie looks over Cristina's shoulder and is sent back to the wall, and Derek pointedly asks if this is still a teaching hospital. He then tells Lexie to come over to watch if she wants to learn anything. He puts the halo on Adam's head, talking to him calmly, explaining that he'll feel pressure but no pain. He then begins screwing into Adam's forehead, and blood starts trickling, creepily reminiscent of tears.
Izzie and Alex are scrubbing out of Camille's surgery when the lunchtime fight comes up again. Alex asks, "So what's it gonna be? Stevens gets her bones broken or Torres gets taken to the trailer park?" He really should be the color commentator for the event. Izzie tells him it's not happening, but then asks if he'll pull Callie off her if it does. He still wants to know what Izzie did, so Izzie makes him promise not to tell. She admits that she and George did the deed, but Alex's reaction is clearly not what she was expecting. He's completely appalled, and she goes on to say (completely unconvincingly) that she knows she's terrible. "Which is why I'm going to let her get one good punch in. Maybe two. I deserve it. No, one. Then you pull her off me." She's so wrapped up in herself that she can't see how badly Alex is taking this. He repeats that she slept with George, and she says, panicked, that he promised not to tell anyone, still only thinking of herself. He promises that he won't and growls, "I'm embarrassed for you." She is completely shocked that he didn't rush to her corner.
Meredith, meanwhile, is much nicer than Alex when she's mad, but yells at Norm that his only job was to read charts. Clearly, Sloane could have used Izzie's penmanship lesson earlier. Norm asks if she's going to yell any more, then tells her supportively that it's okay because Bailey told him that's how interns learn. He's the cutest old-man intern ever. She sighs and tells him she's not a very good yeller, but he just tells her it takes practice. "Perhaps Miss Bitzer will show us how it's done." Meredith preps him to let her do the talking, but when they get to the room, they find out that Gretchen already left.
Richard now has the horrifying task of telling his 18-year-old niece that her cancer is back, and it's spread to her chest, lungs, and throat. He explains that they can operate and be more aggressive than before to fight it, but Camille interrupts to weakly tell him she wants to go home. He tells her that they could try to treat it at home, but she corrects that she just wants to go home without treatment and live out the rest of her life there. Her mom looks wrecked as she tells them that she can't go through this anymore. Adele gently tells her she has no choice, and when Camille says she's 18 now, Adele says she's clearly not capable of making life-and-death decisions right now. I've always been a fan and defender of Adele, and while I realize this must be the worst thing anyone could go through, I got really mad watching this. There's a time to insist you know better, but when it involves a girl who has spent over a quarter of her short life fighting a heinous form of cancer, you have to take a step back and realize the patient might know something you don't about the experience. Camille says basically the same thing when she implores her uncle to tell them about how radiation almost killed her, and how her skin was so raw that she couldn't be touched. Adele won't look at her, clearly realizing she might see that Camille's right, and her mom looks sad but much more understanding. Camille insists that she's dying and she doesn't want to do so in a hospital, but rather with her friends and in her own bed. She pleads with Richard, "So please, don't be my doctor right now. Be my uncle, who loves me. Let me go home."
Adam is still going through the traction, and is beginning to panic that he can't take any more. Rather than, I don't know, be a loving father, his dad insists, "You'll take as much as they give you, son. Come on!" He actually has the gall to clap like he's in a team huddle. "You can do this!" Cristina tells him there's only a few more weights to go, and then cuts Lexie off when she tries to speak. Dad keeps yelling at Adam as he pleads for them to stop, goading him about being a quitter. I've never known this to actually work as a coaching tactic, much less for motivating one's poor, broken son. Cristina gets the last weight on and Adam goes ballistic, yelling to have his dad removed from the room. Cristina tries to calm him down and Lexie grabs his hand to comfort him. Now Adam's not the one going ballistic, as Cristina orders Lexie to put his hand down, yelling at her that the slightest movement could ruin what they're doing. Lexie's flustered and apologetic, but Cristina sends her out of the room; Derek, though, hears this and has Lexie watch Adam while he pulls Cristina out for "A word."
Once in the hall, he tells her she's supposed to teach rather than abuse. She tries to defend herself, but he informs her that unless she is less competitive and selfish, she won't assist with his surgeries and also won't deserve them. She tries to object, but he dismisses her. As much as she wants to be the new Nazi, Bailey really did teach; Cristina just gets high on her own power. You'd think that the whole Burke/tremor incident would have humbled her a bit. Also, for the ten billionth time, why do these first-year residents have their own interns?
Adele is trying to comfort Arlene, Camille's mom, telling her Camille doesn't know what she's saying. But Arlene says that her daughter is right. Richard pipes in that there's always a chance and they don't know what will happen, so Adele jumps on this and tells him to convince Camille. Arlene watches silently as Adele manipulates him further by saying Camille's the closest thing they have to their own child. Consider this my official break-up with Adele.
Meredith, working in the Comic Relief Wing of the hospital, is making calls to try to track down Gretchen while Sloane berates them and yells. Norm apologizes again, but Meredith grudgingly tells him he's just an intern and that she should have double-checked. She even admits that she was distracted by things she shouldn't have been. If that's not character growth, what is? Norm tells her that for what it's worth, Lexie is a good person. "I don't think she would say anything untoward. Or, uncool." Meredith just makes another call, so Norm pockets his What The Kids Are Saying These Days Abridged Dictionary and wanders off.
Lunch has arrived. Mere is actually eating with Cristina rather than having a Sexy Meal in the on-call room with her non-boyfriend. They each moan about their mornings, Mere with her lost patient, and Cristina getting yelled at for being selfish and competitive, which she thinks are fine personality traits. They then begin remembering the good old days of their own internships and how they were never like this. No, they nearly or actually killed people, as I recall, rather than just giving them the wrong news. Izzie walks up looking for Callie, and Cristina brightens up and asks, "Oh! Is it time for her to grind your bones into dust?" Izzie still can't believe the whole hospital knows what's going on, while I still can't believe we're supposed to swallow that no one has figured out why all this is happening. Alex sits down as Mere and Cristina ask what they're fighting about and answers that they don't want to know, earning himself a glare from the blonde hussy. He insists that it's not worth it but she snottily informs him, "Actually it is. Some things are worth fighting for." week everyone better find out what's going on because I cannot be asked to suspend disbelief for another week. As women, friends, and roommates, and with all of Izzie's Meaningful Looks and Statements, they'd have it all figured out already.
George goes to pick up Ruthie's labs and is asked by the tech who his money is on. "Guess you got to back the wife, huh?" Oblivious, he gently says the fight is just a rumor, and that Callie is too mature for that. Let it be noted that he didn't say that Izzie is too mature for a fight. She tells him that's not what she just heard from the cafeteria, and after a silent moment, George sprints away. He's getting a really good workout today; he's run more wind sprints than my basketball team during our conditioning sessions.
Izzie starts stretching for her own workout, bragging that she learned how to fight in a trailer park. The clock then strikes noon, and Callie walks through the door. She calls Izzie's name, since Izzie's been too busy mouthing off to actually notice her opponent. Izzie turns around, then takes off her shoes and her jewelry as Alex calls out advice to protect her face. Ever practical, Cristina tells her to protect her surgeon's hands: "Your face can heal." Izzie starts jumping around with her fists up, telling Callie, "Let's go." But she's made to look even more ridiculous when Callie tells her she only wanted to talk. Izzie can't believe Callie doesn't want to kick her ass, and Callie laughs that off but then realizes a crowd has gathered to watch the proceedings. She sighs and then slowly walks out with as much pride as she can muster. An intern yells gleefully that Torres forfeits, but Izzie sinks into a chair. Cristina assures her, "You were very ghetto fabulous." Ghetto fabulous, maybe. Completely unsympathetic and unwatchable, totally. Alex leaves, passing George as he runs in and asks if they fought. Alex replies, "Nope. Guess they realized they were fighting over nothing." George catches Izzie's eye, and she sadly shakes her head. If George weren't in such an impossible situation, he might realize that for whatever reason, Alex is completely threatened by him. The doctor threatened by the repeater. That's got to count for something when the rest of your life is in shambles, right?
Derek, not caught up in the fight-night drama, is working on his weekend plans, and asks Mark if Napa or Sonoma is a better weekend getaway. Mark only replies that he hopes Derek won't mind if he kills his girlfriend. Derek corrects Mark that she's not his girlfriend but Mark continues rambling about interns needing to be seen and not heard, especially not by patients. Derek says that's how they learn, but Mark is mad that it means he has to teach and deal with their mistakes. Too bad Cristina isn't in plastics, she and Mark would make an ace team. All of the ego, none of the pesky instruction! Derek also tells him that Meredith doesn't screw up and isn't an intern. Realizing they're not quite having the same conversation, Mark tells him Sonoma is the better choice. "Smaller hotels, fewer tourists." That is, until this episode acts as a travel brochure shown to the entire nation during prime-time. Mark then gives the best advice he's uttered since he moved to Seattle. "And Meredith? She's still an intern, don't kid yourself. She's green, she's a baby. And the only difference between her and the old guy she's got trailing her is that you're not sleeping with the old guy." McSteamy: Manwhore, voice of reason, all-around hottie.
Callie heads into Ruthie's room, where Bailey is explaining the surgery -- they'll be putting metal plates and screws into her ankle to hold everything together. Ruthie's less concerned with the fact that she's taken her first step to bionic womanhood and more concerned with the recovery time. When she's told it could be at least 8-12 weeks, her boyfriend gets angry. Callie picks up on this and seems to have a bit of her inner fire stoked; she tells him pointedly that it will be longer if Ruthie doesn't eat. He tells her that Ruthie eats but Callie shoots back, "Not enough to keep her bones from snapping but you don't seem too concerned about that." There's my girl! So, it's not terribly professional, and he begins yelling at her for it, but it's still awesome. Ruthie, having been elbowed out of the conversation about her own health, draws the attention back her way when she begins coughing up blood.
George comes into the OR, where they're now operating on Ruthie's extensive internal bleeding and ulcers. Callie wonders how they didn't catch this, but Bailey points out that since she came in with a shattered ankle, that was their focus. She adds that between the malnutrition and the copious quantities of ibuprofen Ruthie took, she's lucky to be alive. George muses aloud why she'd do this to herself. Bailey, the only voice of reason other than Mark (and who thought I'd ever be saying that?) answers brusquely, "Because people are stupid and just want to be loved. It's the only reason why people do anything." She's interrupted by alarms beeping, and they start CPR.
In the other OR, Derek and the gang work on Adam, and Lexie asks if he's going to walk again. Derek's response is interrupted by a bleeding vein, and he tells Lexie to cauterize it. She gets in there and begins to panic about all of the blood. But Derek isn't watching her; he's watching Cristina to see what she'll do. After a moment, Cristina swallows her pride and walks up to instruct Lexie on how to suction the blood so she can see what needs fixing. Derek congratulates Lexie and asks Cristina to step back into the surgery -- and, for now, his good graces.
Norman finally reappears, and Meredith yells at him about leaving. She keeps asking him questions but interrupting him to yell some more, so it takes him a while to tell her he went to Gretchen's apartment and brought her back to the hospital with a story about how she had a bill outstanding. The guy is perpetually positive and takes a moment to add, "...If I may say so, your yelling has improved remarkably." He steps aside to reveal a delighted Gretchen, who tells them how she told her boss to shove it and dumped her loser boyfriend so that she could go to Iceland where the sun shines all the time. Once they explain the mix-up, these things all become much less positive. "I gave up my apartment! You know how hard it is to find an apartment, with parking?" Actually, I do, and my car and I feel her pain.
Later that night, Ruthie's boyfriend is outside smoking while it rains. Do you ever wonder if they regret setting the show in Seattle, and yearn for a day when they don't have to use a rain machine on the set? Callie finds him and cracks that she thought the deal was that he would quit smoking. He says that his girlfriend is in emergency surgery and he thinks she'll forgive him. Callie, whose bedside manner is maybe not at its most warm and fuzzy given recent events, tells him that she won't forgive him, because she's dead. She goes on to yell that because of the starving and the overtraining, her heart couldn't take it. Boyfriend Of The Year can't believe Callie thinks it's his fault. No, weight loss as emotional blackmail shows you care. But he insists he wanted Ruthie to be healthy, and Callie gets in the PSA of the week when she yells that Ruthie was "healthy" 20 pounds ago, that he just wanted her thin and sexy. She loses all self-control, and when he yells that he loved her, Callie screams back that he didn't, "because you don't destroy the person that you love!" George has come out in time to hear what was meant for him and pulls her away, and she screams, "You gonna hit me? Give me some excuse to kick somebody's ass!" Bailey comes out and helps separate them, then sends George to take BOTY inside. She then says she's asking one more time if Callie is all right. Callie's mood has slipped back to "numb," and she replies that she's fine and it's nothing. Bailey points out, "Really. Because 'nothing' almost cost you your career just now."
Richard sits down to talk to Camille alone, and asks why she didn't come into the hospital earlier. She admits that she knew the cancer wasn't and wouldn't ever be gone, and that deep down she was hoping it would kill her before she came back in. She tells him she's exhausted, and he sits in obvious misery by her side. He takes a deep breath and tells her he has a plan to keep her alive, but it involves tons of doctors, new drugs, experimental treatments, and no guarantee it will even work. He tells her honestly that as her uncle, he wants her to try it, because "My world is a better place with you in it." But as her doctor, he promises to do what she wants. What she wants is just to go home, so with a clearly breaking heart he tells her, "Then let's get you home." There's no snark for any of this scene -- I'm too busy wiping my running eyes and nose at the great acting and the horrible situation.
Callie is sleepwalking through the hospital and runs into Izzie, so she quickly turns to go the other way. But Izzie tells her to wait, and to Callie's back she says that's she's sorry about the cafeteria and everything else, adding that she feels terrible. You know how the Grinch's heart grew three sizes? Mine just did the opposite, and shrank from the absolute ineptitude of Izzie's so-called apology. Callie, clearly feeling the same, turns on her. "You feel terrible? You took advantage, he was your best friend, I tried to trust you." She adds that she tried so hard, she convinced herself she was crazy, and it now turns out she wasn't. About the cafeteria, Callie says, "It's not bad enough that you humiliate me by getting into bed with my husband, you have to humiliate me at work, too." Then comes the part I don't quite agree with on principle, though I still enjoyed every moment of this verbal beating. She tells Izzie that George broke his vows but that the two of them are women, and Izzie did this to another woman. I think she could have gone for "co-workers" or "acquaintances" before she went to "women" since, as she said, it's George who broke his vows and really is the one she needs to take it up with most. But again, I'll go with it because it's so delicious to see Izzie get hammered. Callie tells her that Izzie is the one who should be humiliated and ashamed (I don't disagree) and growls, "Don't you dare come to me for forgiveness, you traitorous bitch."
Izzie's in the hallway, figuratively licking her wounds, when Alex walks by, and when he doesn't acknowledge her, she asks, "What, I'm invisible now." Alex seems deflated and asks what she wants, so she wraps herself up in her self-pity and asks, "So you hate me now, too?" Oh Izzie, there's so many of us, we have regular club meetings. He repeats that he can't believe she slept with George, and her hackles go up as she asserts that she fell in love. When he reminds her that George is married, she points out that Alex is pining after Ava, who is also married. (God, I hate giving her anything, but that's a valid point.) She asks what gives him the right to judge, and why he even cares. Since she'll never remember on her own events that aren't all about her at this very moment, he reminds her that he made a move, and Izzie told him that she wasn't ready to be with anyone yet, after Denny. "And then O'Malley? O'Malley! And then you tell me like I'm one of your chick friends. Come on." While he kind of needs to let go of his O'Malley complex, damn did she need to hear that about relegating him to the girlfriend column. He walks off, and her face falls.
Mere apologizes to Gretchen for what appears to be the umpteenth time. Gretchen's good humor is back in spades and she hugs both Mere and Norm and thanks them. After she leaves, Mere asks Mark if she's not suing the hospital. He tells her that she settled with the lawyers. "Seattle Grace just bought that woman four bedrooms and 3.5 baths in Reykjavik." Man, I never even get a lollipop when I have to go get moles removed. ["My doctor lets me pick what color stitch thread he uses. It's no apartment, but it's kind of festive." -- Sars] Mark tells her that he's writing her and Norm up, but Meredith says that it was her responsibility as a resident; only she should be written up. Mark commends her for being noble but stupid. Hey, better than selfish and stupid any day, and we've spent far too much time with that combination of traits this hour. Norm tells Meredith that for the record, he doesn't think she's stupid. "I find you quite smart." Norm, I find you just delightful.
The Chief is alone when Adele finds him and asks what he said to Camille. She smoothly asks, "I've already lost one baby, and now I have to lose Camille?" Richard tells her he won't use this situation to make up for not giving her children, and she tells him she never asked him to give her children, she just asked him to talk to Camille. She really needs to not use the no-babies card, then. He said he can't convince Camille -- he can give her all the options but he can't make her do what he wants her to do. "I'm her doctor." Adele pointedly tells him that she thought being a doctor was about saving lives. That after all these years of him choosing his job over his family, this was the one time she asked him to do his job to save their family. He tells her he's truly sorry, and she replies that she is too, and leaves. Adele seems to want it just the way she wants it whenever she wants it. And this time the way she wants it is her niece in so much pain that she'd rather die. If she can't see how much this is about both being a doctor and being family, then he shouldn't even bother fighting for her anymore.
George walks outside in street clothes to find Callie standing in the rain, seemingly paralyzed. He calls her name, and when she doesn't respond, he tells her that she can't just forgive him. "What I did to you, is unforgivable." She tells him that's how it works and it's what "I forgive you" means, but he thinks it means she doesn't forgive him if she can't talk to or even look at him. And once again, suddenly George pulls some maturity out of his magic bag. I can't keep up with him. He continues, "You're so angry that the only way you can deal with me is say you forgive me and what, we pretend it didn't happen? It happened. And you don't forgive me." She finally agrees: "You're right. I don't."
Inside, Meredith catches up with Derek to tell him Alex will cover her shift. But he tells her that this isn't a good weekend. Her hackles go up and she wants to know what Lexie said about her, but Derek assures her that he did all the talking. He asks, "You know what I talked about with the other Grey? All the things this Grey won't let me say." Oh no, a challenge. She counters, "You can say anything to me." Realizing there's no opportunity like one where she wants to prove she's the Better Grey, he spills all. "I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you. I want to build us a house. I want to settle down, and grow old with you. I want to die when I'm 110 years old in your arms. I don't want 48 uninterrupted hours." He smiles during the whole thing -- it's not a challenge, it's a scenario that makes him happy and content. But she's stone-faced. He adds, "I want a lifetime." She makes a move to take a step back, but manages to make herself stay put, and he points it out. "You see what happens? I say things like that, and you fight the urge to run the opposite direction. It's okay. I understand. I didn't, but now I do. You're just getting started. And I've been doing this for a long time. Deep down, you're still an intern, and you're not ready." And for the first time in a while, after all the nonsense and uneven writing of his character last season, he genuinely means it. What do you know -- Derek Shepherd, growing.
She's clearly a bit scared, and tells him, "I'm not ready right now, but things could stay the way they are, and I can get ready. I'll get ready." He replies, but with a tinge of sadness to the words, that things can stay the way they are, they can still meet and hook up, and maybe she'll be ready. "And I'll wait. I'll wait until you're ready." She clearly senses a catch, and agrees with him but is clearly questioning. He lays it all out: "Yeah, but what if while I'm waiting, I find someone who is ready to give me what I want from you?" She asks, "Well, what if you do?" The elevator dings, and he tells her, "I don't know." He then gets in, not meeting her eyes, and the doors close. It's a surprisingly honest yet fair conversation. I don't know what to do with all this honesty and believable conflict; it's been so long!