By LTG
So, it's some period of time after Meredith had her near-death experience and her mother died. She's buried her mother (well, cremated her actually) and is returning to work after recovering from her accident. And who should show up at the hospital? Her father and stepmother, worried and wanting to spend time with Mere. She ends up inviting them to her house for a very awkward dinner. It gets even more awkward when Meredith's father mistakes a memory from Meredith's childhood as being from his other daughter's childhood. Whoops. A blown fuse leads to Mere's dad wandering off in the dark while Meredith hangs out and bonds with her stepmother. The evening ends with Meredith actually finding a new friend in her stepmother and then realizing that her father did love her when he fixes a porch swing. (That last bit made more sense in context.)
Meanwhile, the race for Chief of Surgery heats up when Richard invites a hotshot cardio surgeon to come by and hang out. Even better, he's played by Robin Colcord. And then it turns out that he was (a) Cristina's med school professor and (b) Cristina's med school lover. Which opens Cristina up for all kinds of mockery and throws Burke into a jealous tizzy. Apparently, the fact that Cristina once had a thing with another heart surgeon makes Burke question her love for him, placing their engagement in jeopardy. And the presence of an outside competitor for the top job causes the other attendings to act like hyper-competitive jerks, potentially risking the health of Crush and Derek's patient (an old friend of his, natch).
Finally, Alex has moved into Meredith's house, causing Izzie to feel awkward and uncomfortable. And George finally discovers that the reason Callie can afford to live in a fancy hotel on her resident's salary is that she's an heiress. This naturally leads to a fight between the two of them, and she kicks him out of the hotel. He runs back to Meredith's to do some drinking and get some consolation from Izzie. And console him she does, as they wake up naked and in bed together.
Previously, Meredith came back from a near death experience. Her mother did not.
Izzie and her very perky breasts are in silhouette in the shower. Meredith's voice-over tells us that people have scars. As Izzie moves to exit the shower, I worry that we're going to see some of her scars. Just as Meredith is calling scars "diagrams of old wounds," Alex marches into the bathroom. Izzie, startled, wraps herself in a towel and screams at him. He's pretty blasé, reminding her that he's seen it all before. She's kind of wondering what he's doing in her house early in the morning, and he tells her that he's moving in to Casa Grey. Mere V.O.: "Most of our old wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don't."
Izzie, still wrapped in a towel and nothing else, barges into Meredith's room and yells at Mere and a still-sleeping Derek about Alex moving into the house. Meredith points out that there's room now that George has moved out, but Izzie still doesn't understand why Meredith needed to let Alex move in. Izzie: "What's wrong with where he was living before?" Meredith: "I don't know where he was living before." Izzie: "Probably a whorehouse." Lucky whores. Meredith laughs, and Izzie tells her that it will be too weird for her to have Alex living right door. She also picks up the bottle of lotion sitting on Meredith's nightstand and starts putting some on her hands. I am not going to guess what that lotion was last used for. Meredith: "People are what matters. Alex is one of our people. We can't leave him out in the cold." Or in the presumably badly furnished apartment where he was living. Izzie notes that Meredith doesn't like people and asks if her newfound kindness is related to her mother's death. Meredith tells her that it's related to her own death and subsequent return, and that she's determined to be more positive. Mere: "People are what matters. Paint with all the colors of the wind." If your wind has colors, you need to move upwind of whatever factory is spewing out those pollutants. Izzie backs slowly away from Meredith, calling her crazy. And as she gets to the door, she stops Alex from walking into the bathroom, telling him that she's still not done. And then she reaches down and pulls up her towel so not one inch of her breasts is showing. Alex tells her that he's not looking, because he's really not interested. Izzie doesn't seem to believe him.
Speaking of people Izzie doesn't believe -- George is sitting on the edge of the bed in the hotel room, eating a lovely room service breakfast. Mere V.O.: "Some wounds we carry with us everywhere, and though the cut's long gone, the pain still lingers." George is calling out to Callie, who's in the room, complaining about how selfish and self-centered Izzie is. Callie enters the room and flops down on the bed to him. She interrupts him by asking for a bite of his breakfast. George gives her some French toast, but doesn't take the real hint and keeps blabbing on about Izzie. So Callie takes the direct approach and asks him, "How about we don't talk about her anymore?" George tells her that's a fine idea, and kisses her.
Speaking of people Izzie doesn't believe -- George is sitting on the edge of the bed in the hotel room, eating a lovely room service breakfast. Mere V.O.: "Some wounds we carry with us everywhere, and though the cut's long gone, the pain still lingers." George is calling out to Callie, who's in the room, complaining about how selfish and self-centered Izzie is. Callie enters the room and flops down on the bed to him. She interrupts him by asking for a bite of his breakfast. George gives her some French toast, but doesn't take the real hint and keeps blabbing on about Izzie. So Callie takes the direct approach and asks him, "How about we don't talk about her anymore?" George tells her that's a fine idea, and kisses her.
In the locker room, Izzie and Meredith are getting ready for work. Izzie tells Meredith that when George's marriage inevitably crashes and burns, he'll want his room back, which will be a problem if Alex is still living there. Izzie: "His life will be in a shambles, he'll finally notice that his dad is dead, and he made a fool out of himself by marrying someone he doesn't really love, and he'll have no place to go. Is that what you want?" Meredith: "That's exactly what I want." So that's the new positive Meredith. I'm not seeing much of a change. Alex walks in and compliments Izzie on having found some clothes. She responds by telling him to shut up. And then Cristina and George enter. George asks Meredith how she's doing. And while it sounded like a totally normal greeting, she grabs the floor to make an announcement. Mere: "Okay, everybody, let's do this once. I'm fine, she's cremated, I picked out a beautiful urn, and she's hanging out in the back of my closet. Any more questions about my dead mother, or can we get back to work?" They all give her looks and return to their lockers. And then they gossip about the new candidate for Chief of Surgery; apparently, the Chief is bringing in a ringer, but nobody knows who it is. Bailey walks in and gives them all assignments. Meredith's assignment is "scut," and she claims once again to be fine and ready to return to work. Bailey's not hearing it, though, so Meredith will be taking it easy regardless of her own desires.
Alex is in Crush's room. She still doesn't have any memory, nobody has come looking for her, and they've had no luck identifying her. And her face is still grotesquely swollen, making it pretty hard to recognize her. Alex sits down on the edge of her bed to comfort her and let her know that as soon as they learn anything about her identity, he'll come tell her. She tells him that Mark wants to perform surgery on her eye to keep her from losing her vision, while Addison thinks she should wait a few days for the sake of the baby's health. Alex tells her that any surgery is risky, but that they will be monitoring the baby's heartbeat the entire time. She takes that as advice to go ahead with the surgery, and thanks him. She also tells him he's all she's got.
In the clinic, Izzie examines a grizzled old man. She asks him if something on his back hurts. G.O.M.: "Of course it hurts. Don't poke it like that." She asks him if the lump has been there a long time, and he tells her he's had it since he was shot fifty years ago. But it didn't start hurting until a couple of months ago. Although I'm guessing it hurt pretty bad at the moment he was shot. Izzie seems doubtful that there's a bullet in G.O.M.'s shoulder, but he tells her that the army doctors didn't want to remove it when he was shot and left it in. She tells him they'll get X-rays to check it out, but he tells her to save the film and give him some drugs for the pain. So we're clearly supposed to think he's just an addict looking for a fix. Izzie firmly tells him that they're going to do things her way.
Derek and George enter a patient's room. It's Shohreh Aghdashloo, and she clearly seems to know Derek. Derek introduces her to George as Dr. Helen Crawford, calling her a big pain in the ass. Helen: "He says that because we worked together in New York and I was the only one who never had a crush on him." So, Helen's a lesbian. Got it. Derek playfully tells her that he doesn't believe it and they exchange slightly flirtatious glances. Derek asks George for the bullet on Helen's condition, and George responds with...utter medical gibberish. I can normally at least make some sense of the various syllables, but the only thing I understood in George's description of her condition is the word "sinus." So I'm going to assume she has some kind of fatal sinus infection. And it turns out to be a condition for which Helen has received three surgeries. Each time, the procedure is mostly but not entirely successful, with the result that she has to come back for a retry every couple of years. But she surprises Derek by telling him that this is the last time she'll be getting the surgery. He's pretty much speechless, but she tells him, "The recovery takes forever, and it's not like when Jake was around. I go through this by myself." Derek doesn't want her to give up, but she thinks she's being realistic. She's going to get the procedure this last time and then spend two years lying on the beach. Derek wants to argue, but she tells him, "Stop looking at me like I killed your cat. The decision is made."
Izzie walks down a hallway, absorbed in her PDA, when she comes upon a mass of young doctors standing in the hallway and staring off in the distance. She asks Cristina and Meredith if they've seen Bailey, and then looks up from her PDA and asks what they're all staring at. She asks what they're doing, and George tells her that they're trying to get a glimpse of the new candidate for Chief of Surgery, who is currently meeting with Richard in his office. Meredith: "We're lurking. In a way that was subtle when it was two of us but isn't now that it's twelve." Cristina tells them she heard it's someone from Stanford, and then smarms, "All the professors there loved me." And how. Burke walks up to them and asks Meredith how she's doing. Cristina just shoves him aside because he's blocking their view. Cristina tells him what they're doing, and then Izzie mocks Cristina over how much all the Stanford professors loved her. I hope not all of them. Burke thinks it's natural that the professors would love her, since she's such a motivated student. That's one word for it. Cristina thanks him for the praise, and he goes on to note that she's a bit of a kiss-ass. If only he knew how true that was. George tells everyone to look away as the Chief comes out of his office with the new candidate. It's Roger Rees, a.k.a. Robin Colcord, a.k.a. Lord John Marbury. He's looking pretty old, but still just a bit foxy. Burke recognizes him as Colin Marlowe, a hotshot cardiothoracic surgeon from Stanford. Cristina looks stricken. Burke walks up to Marlowe and introduces himself. However, as Burke kisses his pasty white British ass, Marlowe looks past him and stares at Cristina. He excuses himself and slowly walks up to Cristina. All of the other interns take a step back. Heh. Marlowe asks Cristina, "Well, you going to give me a hug or what?" He doesn't wait for her to respond and just moves in for a very tender and intimate hug. And it gets a little more intimate as he slides his hand down and cups her ass. Great, just what this hospital needs. Another surgeon with no respect for appropriate boundaries. Commercials.
Burke and Cristina walk around a corner. He asks her, "So, what was that, exactly?" Cristina: "He was my professor. We were close." Burke thinks that's something of an understatement and points out that he mentions Marlowe's name all the time. Does Burke have a little crush on Marlowe? Cristina also tells him that it was "a long time ago." Didn't she just graduate from med school some time in the last 9 months or so? If she's ever my doctor, remind me to ask her to be more specific when she tells me I have "a long time" to live. Cristina, getting on the elevator, tells him, "Well, um, I didn't think you wanted to hear about every guy I ever slept with." Oh, but I do.
And now it's Izzie and Meredith's turn to pedeconference. I love you, Debora Cahn, but you're giving me a bit of an unwelcome West Wing flashback this week. Izzie, eating an apple, is pestering Meredith to please hang out with her that evening so Izzie doesn't find herself home alone with Alex. Because Alex's fixation with Izzie makes everything so awkward. The apple she's eating is clearly not the fruit of the tree of knowledge. And then Meredith looks down the hallway and sees her father and stepmother standing there. While Izzie blithely talks on about how very desirable she is, Meredith hides behind her and then ducks into a closet. Izzie is more than a little confused by this vanishing act. But then Cristina walks up to her and asks her if she's seen Addison. Izzie hasn't, but she perks up at the thought of using Cristina as a shield to prevent her from spending any time with Alex and invites her to do something that night. Izzie's beeper goes off, and while she reads it (and continues to talk), Cristina sees Marlowe walking down the corridor. So she ducks into the closet. Izzie looks up to find she's once again alone, and she looks around, all "What the hell?" That was actually funny.
Inside the closet, Meredith and Cristina argue about whose closet it is. And then Meredith busts Cristina for having a thing with Marlowe. Cristina brings out the "he was my professor, we were close" line again, but it still doesn't sound very persuasive. Outside the closet, Colin and Susan (Mere's stepmother) have both arrived at the closet door, because they each saw Meredith and Cristina duck into the closet. Inside the closet, Meredith asks Cristina, "You were that girl, huh? The girl who slept with the professor? We had one in my class; she only got to the radiologist, though. No one got near the cardio god." They bicker some more about who has the more pressing need to hide. Meredith points out that she's sure Cristina must have lots to catch up on with Colin. And then they hear Colin's voice: "You know we can hear you in there, right? Loud and clear." Busted, Cristina walks out of the closet and acts surprised to run into Colin there.
They walk away, and Susan opens the closet door. Meredith: "Oh, I was just leaving, actually." I guess that means Susan is welcome to hang out and enjoy the closet amenities by herself. But Susan tells Meredith that she and Thatcher heard about Ellis's death. Because she's a good and decent and appropriate human being, Susan does the normal thing of telling Mere how sorry she is, and then asks whether there was a funeral. Meredith tells her that Ellis wouldn't have wanted one, and Susan just looks so sad that Meredith didn't seem to think about what she wanted for herself. Meredith asks after the baby, and Susan tells her that the baby's fine and that they're at the hospital because they were worried about Meredith and wanted to check up on her. Meredith: "That's sweet, but we don't have to do this. I'm not in shock, I'm not wracked with grief, I'm just moving on." Susan: "But you're hiding in a broom closet." God, I love Mare Winningham. She's like the perfect mom. She's really sweet, but she'll call you on your bullshit. And when you get really freaked out and climb out on the roof, she's sure to understand. Meredith, thinking this doesn't sound crazy at all, tells Susan that she'll come out of the closet if Susan could just get Thatcher to move somewhere else. Susan tells her that she sent Thatcher to get some coffee, and then tells Meredith that they really want to have her over for dinner or do something with her, because "he's been really worried about you. And he's the family you have left, Meredith." Meredith disagrees, and I think she has a point. When you're very young and your father disappears, that leaves you with lots of things to get over and you'll have to deal with that shit at some point. But spending time with the idiot is not necessarily going to help with that process. But Susan is persistent, and she gets Meredith to agree to dinner.
Marlowe is busting on Cristina for hiding in the closet: "If it wasn't just tragic, it might be the most adorable thing I've ever seen." Cristina tells him she would have appreciated some warning that he was coming to Seattle Grace, but he points out that the Cristina Yang he knew wouldn't have been afraid to talk to old friends. Her excuse is that she's too busy to spend time chatting. But she has plenty of time to hang out in closets. He tells her that her longer hair looks beautiful, and she tells him not to flirt with her because she's seeing someone. He asks who, and when she tells him it's Burke, he laughs and tells her, "You never change. That's pretty adorable." There are many words I would use to describe Cristina Yang. "Adorable" is not one of them. She tells him to shut up and informs him that she's going to be marrying Burke. He looks shocked, cocks his head, and congratulates her. She walks away, angry, so he steps in front of her and tells her that he's seriously happy for her. And then he asks, "Can I give you a congratulatory hug?" Cristina: "Don't touch my ass."
George listens to Helen's heart (or stomach or gall bladder or whatever) and she tells him that she's starving. He reminds her that she can't eat before the surgery, but she tells him that she'll survive because she's staying at Seattle's Only Hotel and had them bring her breakfast at midnight. George recommends the French toast, and Helen wonders exactly how an intern is affording breakfast at a very expensive hotel. He tells her that he lives there and that his wife gets a deal. Helen: "That's one hell of a deal."
So Callie examines some X-rays while George pesters her to learn exactly how much the room service costs and whether the food is part of the $400 a week they pay for the room, and how much he owes her for his half of all the food. Backing slowly away from his pestering, Callie tells him that they pay around $800 a week in room service charges. George freaks out, and Callie tells him not to worry about it. He doesn't think she can afford it, but she tells him it's no big deal. He asks how she pays for it, and she doesn't answer. George: "I'm your husband now, you're supposed to tell me this stuff." My personal theory about these things is that you're supposed to talk about this stuff before someone becomes your husband. But I'm old-fashioned that way. She pulls him aside and quietly tells him that her parents had lots of money, and now she has lots of money. And that there's no deal at the expensive hotel; she just pays for it. To the tune of $2500 a week. George freaks out some more and starts calling her an "heiress" like it's some kind of insult. She tells him to shut up and then tells him that she doesn't tell anyone about the money because knowing about it inevitably ruins her relationships. George is mad that she lied to him and wonders why the hell he's been paying her $200 a week. She cops to having used his money to tip housekeeping. George hits himself in the head and, with a little more screaming and hollering, walks away. Callie tries to cut the tension by telling him that she also used to have a pet ferret. Commercials.
George is in Helen's room when Derek walks in. He's there to suggest some radical surgical procedure that will deal with her problem once and for all but which is significantly more risky than the stop-gap method he's been using all these years. Helen calls it "big balls surgery." I assume she's talking about the surgeon's balls and not the patient's. She tells Derek she's not interested, and he kicks George out of the room. And then he rips into her and tells her that if she continues with her plans she'll have a couple of years on a beach and then die a very slow painful death. He tells her that when she's dying, "You're gonna call me up and you're gonna ask me why we didn't do something when we had the chance. Now that is not something I can live with. Not when we can do something right now to prevent it." He whispers those last few words, and it's unbearably sexy.
In G.O.M.'s room, Callie and the Chief are examining an X-ray while Izzie looks on. She tells G.O.M. that the bullet appears to be damaging his scapula, which is what's causing the pain. Callie asks him how he got shot, and he tells her that he got shot in Korea and then asks once again for some drugs. The Chief tells him that they'll do something even better and remove the bullet. I hope they know they can give him painkillers and remove the bullet. In fact, the latter pretty much requires the former. G.O.M. sounds surprised that they would take out the bullet, but the Chief explains that they pretty much have to now that it's causing him difficulty. And then G.O.M. says that he wants the bullet, which doesn't seem like that shocking a request to me. It turns out that he's pretty sure he was shot in the back by one of his own men and he thinks the bullet will provide proof of that. The Chief tells him to calm down, and G.O.M. asks, "You know what it's like when your own men turn on you?" The Chief responds, "It's not a good feeling." I'm sorry, but has someone turned on the Chief? We end the scene with Callie and Izzie glaring daggers at each other.
Meredith walks up behind Derek and breaks the news to him that she's agreed to have dinner at her father's house and that Cristina used to have a thing with Marlowe. Derek is much more interested in the second piece of news until Meredith tells him to focus on what's really important, which is her anxiety and neurosis. He suggests she invite Thatcher and Susan over for dinner at her house, I guess on the theory that she'll have the home field advantage. And he offers to come and be her wingman. Is she trying to pick up her father? He tells her that it will be fun, and then corrects himself and tells her that it will be fine. Derek: "They're your family." Meredith: "Why does everyone assume that?" Derek: "Because you have to have a family, whether you like them or not." Again, I think this is less about liking or not liking her father and more about not knowing him.
Addison and Mark loiter about in a hallway. A hot nurse walks past, checks out Mark, and is checked out in return. Addison reminds Mark of their deal, and he tells her that he's still allowed to look. He accuses her of not thinking he can hold out for 60 days and she owns up to it gladly. Mark: "You're worth it." Addison: "You bet your ass I am."
In the cafeteria, George is complaining to Meredith about how rich his wife is. Meredith thinks that sounds pretty wonderful, but George disagrees. He shuts up as Izzie joins them. He needn't have bothered, because all she wants to talk about is the fact that Cristina "did" Marlowe. But then Meredith decides to trump that revelation by telling Izzie that Callie is rich. George yells at Meredith and then tells Izzie to shut up about Callie. George: "Do you think that's possible?" They glare at each other and then George leaves. Izzie tells Meredith, "If you give me the 'people are what matters' thing again, I will kill you." Cristina sits down, and Izzie starts mocking her about Marlowe: "Was it good? Was he good? Did he make you a better lovah?" Cristina: "Do you remember all the other times I've talked to you about my sex life?" Izzie: "No." Cristina: "Exactly." Alex joins them, and Meredith tells everyone about Thatcher and Susan coming to her house for dinner that night. She worries about the "dinner" part, since she doesn't cook, but Izzie offers to cook the meal. And then Izzie turns to Cristina, pestering her about whether Marlowe used Viagra. Cristina ignores the question and tells Meredith that her contribution to the dinner will be to show up during meal with a fake crisis that will require Meredith to kick out her family. Aw, it's just like Stone Soup. Izzie is persistent, and she keeps pestering Cristina until she admits that Viagra is a miracle drug. I'm enjoying the playful Izzie we're seeing in this episode, even if she is being incredibly self-centered.
Derek finds Marlowe perusing the surgery board. He introduces himself and tells Marlowe about the surgery he browbeat Helen into agreeing to. He also invites Marlowe to observe. Just then Burke walks up and invites Marlowe to sit in on a surgery he's performing. I don't know why Marlowe is grabbing Cristina's butt when he's got these two chasing after him. Marlowe accuses them of trying to intimidate him and tells them it's working. And he agrees to sit in on both surgeries. Two-timing hussy! After Marlowe leaves, Derek and Burke commiserate over the fact that a hotshot has been brought in to compete for the job they both want, and over the fact that he diddled Burke's girlfriend.
Mark is performing surgery on Crush's eye. Is this really plastic surgery? Alex is assisting, and Mark is insulting him. Alex notices that the fetal heart rate is dropping. Mark tells him it may be a faulty monitor, but Alex also notices that Crush has some vaginal bleeding. Mark yells out for someone to page Addison.
Burke is performing his surgery while Marlowe looks on. Marlowe praises Burke -- not for his surgical skill, but for making "an honest woman" out of Cristina. He continues, "I always thought she was collecting us, like baseball cards." Dude, I hope she sticks you in the spokes of her bicycle and rides really fast. Derek is curious what Marlowe means, and Marlowe tells him that he thought that Cristina liked to date authority figures with something to teach her. He's surprised she ever agreed to marry someone, since she used to tell him that "marriage was for the weak and undirected." He apparently proposed to her on a number of occasions, and she shot him down each and every time. Burke is surprised that the idea of marriage came up during Marlowe's brief fling with a student, but Marlowe tells him that he was with Cristina for three years. Just to be clear, assuming Cristina hooked up with him the day she started med school, that would have left only one year between that relationship and her move to Seattle Grace. Exactly how many baseball cards might she have collected during that time? Commercials.
Stairwell of Regrets and Recriminations. Burke and Cristina enter, arguing. She's curious whether he's upset that she slept with a professor or that she "was committed enough to keep at it for three years?" He's more upset that she was so anti-marriage when she was with Marlowe. She reminds him that she still is, and he asks why she agreed to marry him. Cristina: "Because I wanted to make you happy. I'll do a lot of things to make you happy. Do I give a crap about a ceremony with a dress and flautist? No. But I'm happy to do it if it'll make you happy." And no, those pants do not make you look fat. Burke is not impressed with Cristina's magnanimous gesture, and he storms off.
Addison, Mark, and Alex rush out of what I'm assuming is Crush's O.R. Addison is furious that Mark wouldn't wait for the surgery, but he points out that she had already lost 40% of the vision in her right eye and would have lost what was left within a day. Addison thinks that's not true and that he was just trying to impress Marlowe. They're screaming at each other by this point. One thing we learn during the argument is that Crush and her baby are both fine. Alex is watching all of this with some interest, but Addison yells at him to go stay with Crush. And then Derek walks up and asks what happened. They continue arguing in front of him. At one point he agrees with Addison, so Mark tells him, "You're not her husband. This isn't your patient. Stay out of it!" And then the Chief walks up and starts screaming at them for screaming in front of everyone. They all walk off in different directions.
And now it's Helen's surgery. Derek is futzing around with her brain while Marlowe talks about what a difficult surgery it is. And then there's some beeping and it looks like Helen is having a stroke or some kind of cardiac event. Everyone rushes around in a panic.
In another O.R., the Chief, Callie, and Izzie are taking the bullet out of G.O.M.'s shoulder. The Chief pulls the bullet out and tells a nurse to make sure the patient gets it. Izzie thinks that's a little warped, but Callie tells her, "I get it. If they pulled a bullet out of me, I'd want it cast in gold and mounted on my wall." Izzie: "Yeah, well you can afford it." Callie realizes immediately that George must have said something to Izzie. Izzie catches her eye and realizes she just made a huge mistake.
Back in Helen's O.R., it's still very beepy and panicky. Whatever Derek did to her brain isn't working, so he moves to her side for some kind of heart procedure. Marlowe points out that he's a cardio surgeon and is probably better suited for whatever is going to be done, but Derek points out that Marlowe doesn't have any operating privileges at Seattle Grace. And let's all take a moment to commemorate the first time someone in this hospital actually followed the rules. I'd also like to point out that even though Marlowe doesn't have privileges at Seattle Grace, he is apparently traveling with a pair of sexy black scrubs. Someone offers to page Burke, but Derek tells them he's got it. And then he cuts a hole in Helen's torso and has George reach in and massage her heart. And then her heart starts to beat on its own. Derek walks away from the table and takes a breath. George asks if he should start closing up Helen's incision. Derek: "O'Malley, I just sliced my friend's chest open. Give me a moment."
Derek and Marlowe exit the O.R. with Marlowe praising Derek and slapping him on the back. Burke is in the hallway, and he asks what happened. Marlowe explains, and Burke wants to know why Derek didn't call him in. Derek points out that Burke was in an O.R. of his own, but Burke doesn't think that should have stopped him. They start fighting, and then Mark walks up and grabs a ringside seat. Burke accuses Derek of trying to impress Marlowe. Derek seems genuinely shocked at the notion, asking Burke if he's out of his mind. And then the Chief breaks up this fight. Marlowe leaves, and everyone else glowers at each other. Commercials.
The Chief and Izzie enter G.O.M.'s room. He immediately asks for his bullet. The Chief hands him a specimen jar (unused, I hope), and G.O.M. takes out a tiny nub of a bullet. He asks where the rest of it is, and the Chief tells him that was everything they took out. Things stuck in a body for 50 years have a way of breaking down. G.O.M. asks Izzie if she can make out any letters on the bullet. She can't, of course. G.O.M. is heartbroken, and he asks the Chief, "Can you have your lab here analyze it, tell me if it's one of ours?" Wrong show. By the way, it turns out that G.O.M.'s real name is Mr. Scofield. Do you think he might be Michael's grandfather? The Chief leaves Izzie and G.O.M. alone with his bullet and his heartbreak. G.O.M.: "I've been stewing for fifty years." Izzie: "Maybe it's time to move on." G.O.M. thinks it's kind of late for that, since his anger over being shot ruined all of his friendships and his marriage. Izzie: "It's not too late to let it go, and start over." G.O.M.: "You're a sweet kid, but you don't know what it's like to have something change you in our soul." I don't think Grizzled Old Men are really supposed to talk about their souls. Izzie tells him that she does know what it's like. G.O.M.: "Don't let it turn you."
Out in the hall, the Chief watches this touching scene. Bailey walks up to him and tells him, "You look like you had a long day." The Chief complains to her about the attendings fighting, and equates said fighting with G.O.M.'s troops shooting him in the back. She asks if there's a frontrunner for the job, and he tells her he doesn't know. But he doesn't want to set up an internal power struggle. Which clues Bailey into the idea that the frontrunner is someone external -- namely, Colin Marlowe. The Chief doesn't answer.
In the kitchen at Casa Grey, Izzie puts the finishing touches on a platter of food and tells Meredith not to slosh it around as that would ruin the presentation. Meredith begs her to come eat with them, and Izzie tells her, with a devilish grin, "You need to bond with your people, Meredith. People are what matters." Meredith: "I hate people." Meredith complains that they've already talked out every subject she can think of. And dinner hasn't even been served yet? As Meredith leaves, Izzie tells her, "Ask about the baby. Ask if it poos. People can go on about that for hours."
Meredith walks into the candle-lit dining room and puts the food down on the table in front of Derek, Thatcher, and Susan. Susan compliments the chicken; Meredith tells her it came from the store. Susan compliments the green beans; Meredith tells her that she didn't do them. Derek tells Meredith that the meal is beautifully presented; Meredith tells him Izzie did it. She is not making this easy. Alex comes in the front door, and Meredith jumps up and drags him over to the table to eat with them. Food is being passed and people are starting to eat. Through all of this, Thatcher is just kind of staring at Meredith. Meredith finally asks how the baby is, and Susan and Thatcher both start talking about how great she's doing. Thatcher tells them that the baby looks just like Molly (the baby's mother, his other daughter), and then talks about a picture he has with him and Molly when she was a toddler and how much the baby looks like that picture. Susan tries to interrupt him, but he insists that the baby really does look exactly like Molly does in the picture. Meredith: "That's me. The red sled and the big fir tree in the park at the middle school, in the ugly yellow plaid wool coat. That isn't Molly. It's you and me." She's gone from nervously smiling to having a bit of an edge to her voice by the end of this. And then the lights go out. We hear Izzie's voice: "Crap. Sorry, I think I blew a fuse." Thatcher offers to fix the fuse, and Meredith jumps up to tell him that she knows right where it is. And then he reminds her that he also knows right where it is, too. He walks off. Meredith tells Derek, "I keep forgetting." Derek: "What?" Meredith: "It's his house."
In a darkened and mostly abandoned hospital, Cristina walks past Burke and tells him she's going home. He doesn't respond. She walks back up to him and asks him if he's planning on going home. Burke: "How did it end?" Cristina: "It ended. School was ending, I was leaving." So she really did end it just weeks before hooking up with Burke? Classy. Burke: "You were done." Cristina: "I came here. I fell in love with you." Burke: "A new mentor, with a host of new things to teach you." Cristina just cannot get a break in this conversation. Burke asks her whether she finds his "knowledge and skill compelling." I have to say, I hope he finds her knowledge and skill compelling, because those are the biggest parts of each of their personalities. I somehow doubt Burke would be in love with her if she were an unintelligent barista. Cristina tells him that he's being ridiculous, but he points out that a man three times her age thought he was having a serious relationship with her and then one day she just dropped him. She confirms that's exactly what happened. And then he changes the subject and accuses her of being emotionally closed off. Did they just meet? Burke: "The simple fact is, you have never let me in. What, you think that it's gonna make a good marriage? Well I don't. I don't want you to marry me because you're placating me. That doesn't interest me. It doesn't interest me at all." And then he walks away.
Back at dinner, Meredith is worrying about Thatcher. She realizes it's probably dark in the laundry room (where the fuse box is) and tells Derek where there's a flashlight he could bring to Thatcher. That leaves Susan and Meredith alone. Meredith tells Susan that she just doesn't know what to say to Thatcher. Susan: "Well, it's not easy. That's 'cause he's afraid of you." Meredith expresses regret for getting mad at Thatcher over the photo. That was mad? It looked like a pretty low-key response to me. Susan tells her, "Meredith, it's okay to get angry. It's you in the picture." I wish she was my stepmother.
At the hotel, the lights are on but things are no less tense. Callie is yelling at George for telling Izzie about her dough. He tries to explain that he told Meredith, who then told Izzie, but I don't think that actually gets him off the hook. I mean, by this time it should be abundantly clear that if you tell any one of them about anything, the others are going to learn about it in five minutes. Tops. Callie is still pissed, and George yells at her for never giving him the benefit of the doubt that maybe he's on her side some of the time. Her answer is that he always chooses his weird, judgy friends over her. George: "No, I don't. I married you, and I haven't talked to my best friend in weeks. Meanwhile, you lied to me about where we live and why. You lied to me about your background. You lied to me about your family! And still I'm the dog who gets whacked on the nose with a newspaper all the time. When is this gonna stop?" Callie shifts the argument back to Izzie constantly saying crappy things about their marriage, and she asks George why he thinks that happens. His answer is that she's having some kind of nonspecific "problems with this." Callie's theory is that Izzie wants George for herself. George starts shaking his head, and Callie tells him not to laugh at her. Laughing, he tells her he's not laughing at her. And he's sure as hell not laughing with her, because she ain't laughing. But he does find it comical that supermodel Izzie would go for a guy like him. That leads Callie to wonder if he thinks a girl would have to be ugly to go for him. And as hot as George says Callie is, that doesn't stop her from throwing his ass out of the hotel. Commercials.
In the kitchen, Izzie is apologizing to Alex for the lack of light. What exactly did she do that blew a fuse is what I'm wondering. Also, how many candles do they have in this house? Izzie is lighting what appears to be the last of fifty candles spread around the kitchen. Alex tells her the food was great but turns down her offer of pie. A cherry pie, I mean. Not Izzie's metaphorical pie. Although I guess he's turning that down too, as Izzie asks him if he has a hot date and then realizes that he does. Izzie: "Oh. Well, good for you. I guess 'not interested' really meant 'not interested.'" Welcome to reality, Izzie. Not every man is interested in you. Alex reminds her that she rejected him. She tells him, "Yeah, but that doesn't mean I want you to want anyone else." Izzie tells Alex that she fears that she'll wind up alone, "pining over a dead guy forever." I'm sorry, but "forever"? It's been a few months. Give me a call when you're going on thirteen years and we'll talk. Alex tells her that it would be a waste for her to end up alone. Izzie wonders if she's supposed to have moved on and if people are judging her. Again, it's been a few months in show time. If people are judging her, they need a cast-iron frying pan upside the head. Alex: "You'll move on when you're ready to." Or maybe just a little while before you're ready to. As we'll see. He gives her a sweet little kiss on the cheek and walks out of the kitchen.
Meredith and Susan are still sitting at the dining table when Cristina walks through the front door. She tells Meredith that she has a crisis, and Meredith tells her that she actually doesn't need rescuing because she's having a good time getting to know Susan. But Cristina explains that this is not a fake crisis, "this is a real 'my ex is about to ruin my impending marriage' crisis." That is like the third worst kind of crisis. And then George runs through the front door and angrily demands to know where Izzie is. After he stomps off towards the kitchen, Meredith tells Susan, "Sorry. It's not always like this." Cristina: "Yeah, it kinda is." Heh.
George walks into the kitchen and Izzie tells him that everyone else is in the other room. George: "I need you to get over yourself." You and the rest of us, pal. He continues, "I need you to start liking my wife. I need you to like her because sometimes I don't, and I need you to talk me back into it. You say you're my friend, that's the job." Izzie quietly responds, "Okay." And when George keeps ranting, she repeats it again more loudly. And just like that, Izzie got over herself. And pretty soon she'll get over George. Or at least, on top of him. George tells her that his venting comes with alcohol, and he takes a bottle of one of the brown liquors out of a paper bag. Izzie brings a couple of glasses, but before George lets her pour any he tells her, "I got married, and I'm scared it was a bad idea." Izzie takes a breath and tells him, "Nobody ever got married and didn't think that at least once." I like it when Izzie's not stupid and selfish.
Derek wanders into the laundry room with a flashlight, looking to help Thatcher with the fuse. And he finds Thatcher sitting calmly in a rocking chair, taking a break from being terrified to speak with his daughter. Derek tells Thatcher that it's always safe to talk about work with Meredith, because she likes what she does and is good at it. And then we get the little conversation that shows us that although Thatcher isn't much of a talker, he's a good listener. With a few deft questions, he gets Derek to talk about Helen's near death in the O.R. And then Derek tells Thatcher how tough yet fragile Meredith really is. And then Thatcher gets up and fixes the fuse. Which isn't a fuse, but a circuit breaker. And then Derek's beeper goes off. He's being called back into the hospital.
Derek is checking some equipment in Helen's room when she wakes up and asks exactly why there's an incision in her chest. He tells her the truth about her near death. She assumes that means he didn't get all of the tumor and tells her she's not going through that surgery again. And then he tells her that he got it all: "You're going to live a long, long life." Helen: "And here I thought you were just being an ass." He owns up to his own assiness and apologizes for yelling at her earlier. Helen: "Okay. But in this moment, you're the ass who gave me my life back."
Meredith and Susan walk out of the house with Susan's arm around Meredith's shoulder. They really do seem to have hit it off. As Susan walks away, Thatcher walks up behind Meredith and awkwardly expresses his condolences over Ellis's death. He notes that the swing that's on the porch was there when he lived in the house, and Meredith tells him nobody ever uses it because it's broken. He stops for a second and then pulls a long metal pin out of the swinging mechanism. He tells her, "I put this in there. You used to catch your fingers in it." He walks away, and Meredith gives the swing a little push and watches it swing back and forth.
In the house, a very drunk Izzie is telling George to suck it up and ask Callie for forgiveness. And an even drunker George is telling her that he's sick of always apologizing and always being in the wrong. They drunkenly babble for a while, and then both decide that Callie is pretty insecure. And what they're about to do isn't going to do much to shore up her self-esteem. Izzie realizes that George has a secret and she cajoles it out of him. And when he tells her that Callie thinks that Izzie has feelings for George (and vice versa), they both start laughing. A lot. And they end up sitting with their faces very close together and getting very quiet. But surely nothing will happen, right? Because there's never been the slightest sign that these two were into each other.
Alex is on his hot date, I guess -- he's visiting Crush in the hospital. He tells her that it was a very scary day for her and the baby, and that in the future she should be getting her medical advice from an attending. But she tells him that she trusts him -- not necessarily for medical knowledge, but to look out for her. And then she asks him to sit down and tell her a bedtime story.
Meredith V.O.: "What's worse? New wounds, which are horribly painful? Or old wounds, that should've healed years ago and never did?" In Meredith's room, she tells Cristina to move over and then climbs into bed with her. As they cuddle, Cristina asks, "Am I gonna screw up this engagement?" Meredith: "I don't know. Do you want to?" Cristina: "I don't know." Meredith: "My mom is dead." Cristina: "Yeah, she is." Damn if that isn't a Debora Cahn scene.
Meredith V.O.: "Maybe our old wounds teach us something. They remind us where we've been, and what we've overcome." Pan across Alex's sexy form asleep in his bed, with morning light streaming through the window. Mere V.O.: "They teach us lessons, about what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think." Pan across Meredith and Cristina, still snuggled up together. V.O.: "But that's not the way it is, is it? Some things we just have to learn over and over again." Pan across a very hung over looking Izzie who turns over in her bed and sees a passed out naked George in the bed to her. And then she looks under the covers to see whether she's naked herself. Credits.
So, could we just send everybody on this show to Shortbus so they can spend a couple of days having inappropriate sex and then come back and quit it? Because the constant inappropriate sexual and romantic connections and misconnections and the triangles (and every other polygon you can imagine) are ruining this show. I used to love this show because I'd watch these screwed up people muddle through their lives as best they could and at some point in every episode I'd look at a character and think, "That's me. That's my damage, and that's how I can deal with it or choose not to deal with it." But this constant bed-hopping is not me or anyone I know or anyone I want to know. And I don't know if this was Shonda's plan all along (in which case she's not the writer I thought she was) or if she's caught up in trying to please the small but freakishly obsessive group of fans who care about nothing other than shipping this pair or that pair or some other pairing I haven't imagined yet (in which case all I can say is that she will never make them happy and in trying to do so she'll drive away any viewer with half a brain). It's not too late to turn the show around. There are some great writers on staff, and more than a few terrific actors. But this show is not going to get its groove back unless and until Shonda realizes that there are ways to show us character development that don't involve people falling in or out of bed. Okay, rant over.