If you are a doctor at Seattle Grace, you either go kookoo for Christmas or you are a bona fide holiday hater. Izzie falls into the former category, and the rest of the gang try to accommodate her since she's all depressed about Alex. They also help Alex study for his practical exam, which of course causes Izzie to pout and whine and yell at all of them. She finally comes around and decides to help, too, with only a tiny bit of crying. Cristina, meanwhile, is even grinchier than you may have expected -- going so far as to make fun of Burke in his own operating room for his display of Christmas spirit -- but finds a little spirit of her own with the help of a reluctant young heart transplant patient whom she teaches to believe in medicine, if not Santa Claus. Other patients include a man whose brain surgery changes his personality for the worse, much to the dismay of his family; and a woman with some incredibly overbearing relatives, whose ulcer surgery has been put off for so long that her insides perforate. And finally, the moment we all (well, some) have been waiting for: McDreamy tells Addison that he's still in love with Meredith. Merry Christmas!
Mere arrives home late one rainy winter evening. Christmas lights twinkle inside her house as she VOs, "It's an urban myth that suicide rates spike at the holidays. Turns out they actually go down." Through a window, we see Izzie putting the final touches on an enormous Christmas tree. MereVO: "Experts think it's because people are less inclined to off themselves when surrounded by family." Mere opens the front door and steps into a winter wonderland that would make the Scientologists weep. George walks over to stand to Mere, and whispers, "It looks like Santa threw up in here." Mere tells him to just go with it; they're "being supportive." Izzie tears herself away from her tree to ask what they think. "Did I go too overboard? I know sometimes I can go overboard." Mere and George say it's great, just great. Izzie gushes, "Oh, yay! I LOVE CHRISTMAS!" Mere and George exchange glances at this psychotic display of Xmas kookoopants. MereVO: "Ironically, that same family togetherness is thought to be the reason that depression rates actually do spike at the holidays." Izzie busies herself scattering jingle bells all over the already-bedecked mantle, and Mere adds, "Yeah, okay. Izzie doesn't count." I'd like to go on record as vehemently disagreeing.
Cut to Burke's. Cristina walks in to find a much more subdued scene: Burke has bought a tabletop tree, which he says he thought they could decorate together. Cristina acts like he's just asked her if they could shove bamboo underneath each one of her toenails, together, and cuts him off: "I'm Jewish." Burke's like, "Seriously?" Cristina reminds him of her stepfather, Saul Rubenstein. So, actually, Cristina is: a) not Jewish, just making shit up to get out of decorating a tree with her hot boyfriend; and b) kind of an asshole. Burke says oh, right, he forgot. Cristina and her Christmas-sized chip head out the door.
Bailey leads rounds, doing the pregnant-lady waddle as she goes. George and Mere snark on her: "Look at her! She's almost as wide as she is tall!" "Are her ankles swollen?" Izzie asks what's going to happen when she goes on leave. Cristina: "Leave? She's going on leave?" Mere: "What do you think happens when people push babies out of their vagina?" Hee. Alex says they'll probably just leave them unattended, see how much damage they can do. Izzie: "Yeah, well, you would know." So, what, is she still mad at Alex? THE ENTIRE WORLD couldn't tell. Izzie then says they should all get Bailey a Christmas gift for the baby, or organize some kind of Secret Santa thing. Cristina starts to protest, but George and Mere shout over her that a Secret Santa thing sounds great. They turn to Cristina and tell her they're being supportive.
McDreamy catches up with Mere as they walk through the halls, and she asks if he's okay. McDreamy pulls a longer face than John Kerry's and says he's fine, it's just the holidays. Mere gets all sad, too, and says she does know, and follows him into the hospital room.
First patient: Tim Epstein, 38, fell off the roof of his house stringing "Hanumas" lights. The room is filled with Tim's children, who are climbing all over Tim and festooning him with toy dinosaurs and the like. Tim is very good-natured about all this action, and tells the Gang that the good news is, his head broke his fall. Mere reports that there are no visible deformities, but Tim is having some focal left-arm weakness, and his head hurts when he laughs. One of Tim's kids bounces a toy off McDreamy's face, which makes everyone laugh. Another one announces to Bailey that he knows karate; Bailey looks a little scared, and says Tim might need some quiet time. Tim says they're fine, all five hundred of them, and he doesn't want to miss out on the holidays with them. McDreamy orders Izzie to take him down for a CT, so I guess he's getting some peace whether he likes it or not.
The patient they visit is Nadia Shelton, 41, who is in for excision of a gastric ulcer. Nadia's family is also all there, and they are loud and annoying. The Gang is accompanied by Webber, who apologizes to Nadia for the inconvenience: her surgery has been rescheduled for three days now. Nadia's overbearing mother gripes about having to watch her child sit there in pain for three days, and some other relative joins in. I can already tell that this family's scenes are going to be the ones I "accidentally" skip over. Webber explains that they have a lot of trauma cases at the holidays, all of which have been more urgent than Nadia's ulcer. Nadia's husband says, "Are you saying my wife's not important? Is that what he's saying?" The rest of the family starts yelling all at once, while Bailey and Webber try to calm them down. It doesn't work. I want to kill myself. Webber finally gives in: "ALL RIGHT! Dr. O'Malley, prep [Nadia]! Her surgery will happen this morning." The family all cheer, while Nadia kind of cringes with embarrassment.
Bailey tells Alex to cover the pit: all the holiday idiocy he can expect there is her gift to him. Heh. She's about to assign Cristina and Mere when Burke runs over and tells her they've found a donor for a heart transplant patient of his. Cristina gets it, and Mere and Alex walk off bitching about it. Alex tells her that, to top it all off, he retakes his boards tomorrow, and is pretty sure he's going to fail. "Makes today my last day here, and I get to spend it doing stitches in the pit." Aw.
Cristina walks with Burke to their patient's room. Burke asks her when Hanukkah falls this year. Cristina says she has no idea. Burke, who is entirely too sweet, is like, "Oh. Well, if there are any more traditions you want me to be aware of..." Cristina cuts him off again, and says she hasn't observed any kind of religious holidays since she was old enough to know better. Burke doesn't know what to do. I can think of a few things, starting with the word "boot."
Their heart transplant patient is a young black boy named Justin. Burke tells Justin and his mother that he's there with great news. He says they have a heart for Justin, and he'll operate this morning. Justin's mom starts to cry: "You hear that, baby? Santa Claus is bringing you a new heart for Christmas." Justin doesn't seem to like this idea at all, and tells Burke to tell Santa's fat ass to give it to someone else. "I don't want it!" Damn! Burke just stands there while Cristina grins evilly behind his back. Maybe she and Justin should get together. Credits.
When we come back, Justin's mom tries to laugh it all off, and tells Burke that Justin's just tired today. She seems very sweet, and clearly loves her son more than life, but also kind of clueless about what he's feeling. Justin says he's tired every day, and hates Christmas every day, and doesn't want another stupid operation. Burke tells him that he knows operations are scary, but he needs this heart, because he wore out his last one. Cristina's like, "Wait, what? Last one?" Burke explains that Justin had a heart transplant as a baby, but his heart hasn't aged as well as he has, and asks Justin if he understands that. Justin says he doesn't care; he doesn't want it. Burke asks if he can tell him why not, but Justin just crosses his arms and looks away.
Bailey finds Webber at the surgery board. "Anxiety attacks, aneurysms, and ulcers," Webber says. Bailey: "Must be December." Webber's secretary walks up and tells him that Adele called. He tries to brush her off, but the secretary interrupts, "She knows you're not in surgery, and she says, quote, 'We are going to our niece's school pageant this morning. You have known about it for months, and after what you pulled on Thanksgiving...' Then she started using a great many words I don't feel comfortable repeating." Webber says he has seven surgeons on vacation. Secretary: "Then there was something about divorce." Heh. Webber reluctantly tells Bailey she'll have to cover his ulcer excision. Bailey, stone-faced, says yes sir, she will.
Mere and Alex meet a patient in the ambulance bay. Mere tells Alex he's going to have to fight her for it, and Alex gets this sad look on his face. He tells Mere it's all hers, then walks off. Sadly. Did I mention he is sad? Because he is. Sad.
Cut to McDreamy and Addison. She's looking at a catalog as they walk, and starts yammering about some handmade Scottish blanket she's going to get his parents for Christmas. "It says please forgive me for hurting your son, except in fabric!" McDreamy reminds her that his mom loves her. Addison says she used to, but she has a lot of ground to make up for with these gifts. She asks what he thinks, and he's all, "I don't know. Whatever." Addison can't believe he's not more excited, because he just loves Christmas shopping! McDreamy says he's got a lot on his mind, and is really not in the mood right now. Addison tries again: "Okay, well how about French food and Scottish catalogs, tonight, around nine?" McDreamy crawfishes around about how it depends on what time he can get off work, et cetera, and when Izzie interrupts them to say Tim's scans are back, he takes off. Poor, clueless Addison has to just stand there holding her catalog and watching him go.
Nadia's room. It is still mayhem in there, with people playing GameBoys and watching TV too loud and
yelling about Christmas. George is trying to ask Nadia some questions about her surgery and also trying to avoid a nervous breakdown. It is, alas, too late for your recapper. SHUT UP, NADIA'S FAMILY! Nadia apologizes to George, and tells him she's had three bleeding ulcers in the last five years. George has only to glance around the room to see why.While Alex tries to study, Mere finds Bailey and tells her that a gastric perforation just came in. Bailey curses and tells George to take Nadia back to her room. George howls in protest, but Bailey tells him to shut up; they'll get to her later this afternoon. Mere explains to Bailey about Alex: he's retaking his boards, and without some help, he's going to fail. Bailey gives Mere permission to go help him, and tells George to get back there and scrub in after he returns Nadia to her awful family.
Justin's surgery. He's still complaining that he doesn't want the stupid new heart, so why are they doing this? Cristina says it's because he needs it, and until he's eighteen, his mother calls all the shots. Justin: "My mother's a liar. You heard her. She said the heart came from Santa Claus. She shouldn't get to decide anything." Cristina tells him he could make a run for it, but the heart he has won't get him very far. Burke asks Justin if he's ready. Justin asks Burke to give this heart to some other kid if he dies in surgery. Burke tells Justin that's not gonna happen -- not on his watch. Please excuse me while I go into HOTTIAC ARREST. They put Justin under, and we fade into the scene.
Tim's two adorable little girls are sitting on his bed, adorably retelling a Christmas story. Izzie and McDreamy walk in, and McDreamy asks if they could talk more privately. Tim's wife, who is just as overly into her kids as Tim, says just to tell them now, and asks if it's bad. McDreamy says Tim's fall caused a subdural hematoma. One of Tim's girls: "I don't even know what that means!" McDreamy says it means their dad's...well, his brain is bleeding. Little girl: "GREAT." Hee. McDreamy is not nearly as amused, and turns to Tim and his wife to say that they need to operate quickly, before the bleeding gets worse. The boy child says they don't need an operation. Tim says he thinks they do, as Izzie and McDreamy exchange "Weirdos!" looks. Tim's wife tells the kids that it's all going to be fine, because they have a doctor named "Shepherd," isn't that wonderful, and a total sign from God? Wow, they really are weirdos.
Back in Justin's surgery, Burke has replaced the heart. He says it's a beautiful fit, and all they need to do now is figure out why Justin is so angry. Cristina says if she had his mother she'd be angry, too. Burke says his mother isn't the problem; she loves him, and never leaves. Cristina says she also never listens. Burke just hopes Justin changes his mind before it's too late: with all medical realities being equal, why does one patient live, and another die? "I believe there's a mind-body-spirit connection. And if Justin really doesn't want this heart, his body will reject it." Cristina doesn't understand this crazy non-scientific talk, and says, "So, let me get this straight. You not only celebrate Christmas...you actually believe in Santa Claus?" Oh, shit. Burke has finally had enough of Cristina's grinchiness, and tells her to go schedule a psychiatric consult for Justin. Cristina: "But we're not done here." Burke: "YOU are." Hooray! Smackdown! Thank Santa. The other people in the room all stand there uncomfortably as Cristina leaves in a huff. See ya, Crissy! Commercials.
Mere is pretending to be a patient for Alex. She says it hurts "here, and here, and here." Alex: "Any chance you got hit by a truck?" Hee. Mere tells him he's judged on bedside manner, and she wouldn't be surprised if that's why he failed the last time. Alex says it's not like he even asked for her help in the first place, neener neener, et cetera. Mere's like, "Enough with the ego, you big baby! I gave up a surgery for this! Now. Like I said, it hurts here, and here, and back here. Oh, and this morning? I noticed my poop was a funny greyish color." Alex gives her a nasty look, and also wonders why she's using that crazy Boston accent.
Bailey and George are in surgery with the gastric perforation. The guy apparently had gastric bypass surgery, and then ate too much. Bailey says eating is what he lives for, and they should just put him out of his misery. George tries to make a funny: "Paging Dr. Karevian, heh heh heh." Bailey lays into him. She holds up her scalpel: "You see this, O'Malley? I make one mistake with this scalpel, this man's dead. My husband? He makes mistakes at his job all the time. As far as I know he's never killed anyone, but I have. And YOU WILL. And Alex did. He made a math mistake, and a man died for it. Run that past your accountant; see how he'd feel if, every mistake he made, someone ended up dead." Aaaaaaaaawesome. Bailey's not done yet, though: she tells George he doesn't have to like Alex, but he damn well has to be on his side. George is stunned into silence, as he should be in the presence of such greatness.
Tim's surgery. Izzie goes on and on about what a great family Tim has, with their Hanumas and Christmakkah and how cute are those kids and blah blah blah vomit-cakes. McDreamy is finally like, "Really, Dr. Stevens. Christmakkah?" Izzie thinks it's sweet, of course. McDreamy shuts her down, saying brain injuries pile up around the holidays every year, with people falling off their roofs stringing up lights, or skating for the first time in a decade. "And every year, people drive through blizzards to get to parties where they kiss germ-infected strangers under poisonous mistletoe, and then they get so drunk that they smash their heads through their windshield on their way home." Well. Merry Christmas! It does get Izzie to shut up, so that's something.
Cristina busts Alex, uh, "assessing" Mere's chest, and tells them if they're that desperate, she has an excellent vibrator catalog. Mere has to tell her that Alex failed his boards, and she's helping him study. Alex is like, "Way to keep a secret, MEREDITH." Mere ignores him and tells Cristina he needs their help. Cristina says it's too bad, but she's not helping. Mere jumps up and says she has to go. She begs Cristina to do it for her, and leaves. Cristina sighs and jumps up on the gurney. "I'm a fifty-five-year-old man, and I'm nauseous and I can't stop throwing up." Alex tells her to just forget it; he doesn't need her bitchy help. He sure doesn't need a lot of people's help for someone about to not be a doctor anymore. Cristina tells him to shut up and diagnose her. Alex asks if she has any abdominal pain. Cristina: "Yes. From my giant fat belly all the way to my back. Oh, and I'm drunk. Hiccup hiccup." Ooh, I know this one! She's every southern dad on Christmas Day! Well, except for the Baptists.
Bailey tells Mere and George about a new patient who's just come in: a man who gave himself a hernia trying to wrap a big-screen TV for his wife. Bailey: "And you know his wife doesn't even like TV." She asks Mere if that "other project" is covered. Mere says she thinks so. Bailey tells her to scrub in, then tells George, "O'Malley, go tell Nadia she's off the schedule 'til tomorrow." Poor George.
Cut to Nadia's family going berserk. GOD. George promises them that tomorrow, Nadia will be in surgery as early as possible. Nadia's mom starts screaming, then her dad starts screaming, and now the GameBoy is at top volume. George asks Nadia's son if he could please turn it down, and he brats, "Who are you, my DAD?" No, your dad is the other extremely loud man in the room. Nadia's mom tells George they've ruined Christmas. George tries to apologize. The woman bursts into tears. I hate them.
Alex has his hand all UP on Cristina's boob. She tells him what he's doing right now is assault, and turns his hand around. "
THIS is an exam." George walks in. "What? Wha? Does Izzie know about this?" Hee. Cristina tells George to unbunch his panties; they're helping Alex study. George: "I can't hear you when his hand is on your boob?" Aw, George. Alex takes his hand off Cristina's boob, for which George thanks them. Cristina explains about the boards, then her pager conveniently goes off. "He's all yours, Georgie! Do your worst!" George looks at Alex warily: "You're not giving me a rectal, and don't ask me to cough."Cristina finds Burke, and asks if he paged her. Burke says coldly that he didn't see a psych consult scheduled for Justin. Cristina says she tried, but couldn't get one until January. Burke: "You disrespected me. You mocked me in my OR. That can't happen." Cristina nearly starts to argue, then checks herself and says it won't happen again. Burke can't believe she equated his spirituality with a belief in Santa Claus. Cristina says science is the one thing they have in common. "I'm an intern, and you're not. I'm a slob, and you're not. I say I want to keep our relationship private, and you go and tell the chief...and then you ask me to move in with you, and now you're religious? I don't know what we're doing." I'll say. Burke says that, right now, they're working, and to page him if Justin spikes a fever. And, he adds, tell Justin's mom to hire a therapist -- or a priest -- anyone Justin will talk to. He storms off, and Cristina sighs heavily for about the hundredth time this week.
Izzie tells Tim's husband and kids that he's going to be fine, and is just now waking up from surgery. They all troop into the room, and the kids immediately begin their adorable kid routine. One of them says she'll "kiss it better," and another starts singing a Christmas song. Tim, however, is not as into it this time around. Dramatic music starts to play as Tim bellows, "Damn it, Leah, SHUT UP! I can't stand that INSIPID SONG!" Oh, wow. Daddy's mad. The kids all grab onto Tim's wife as he yells at all of them to get out, get the hell out, all of them! One of the kids yells at McDreamy, "You stupid shepherd! You broke my daddy's brain!" Or...fixed it? You decide. Commercials.
When we come back, McDreamy is telling Izzie to page him and get a CT if Tim doesn't improve in a couple of hours. Izzie actually tries to tell McDreamy that maybe his anti-holiday venom poisoned Tim's brain on some unconscious level. "I mean, he trusted you to be his...shepherd!" Oh, Izzie. McDreamy: "Dr. Stevens, you should be a little embarrassed." Izzie: "I am." McDreamy: "Good." God help us all.
Justin's mom is putting up a little Christmas tree in his room, when Cristina walks in and tells her that's not allowed in the CCU. Mom brushes it off: "Oh, that's never really been enforced." Cristina rolls her eyes, and says the surgery went smoothly, but it's too soon to tell how Justin's really doing. Mom pulls some paper snowflakes out of a box as Cristina checks Justin's vitals, and says he's really a good boy, but he's been down at this difficult time. "But Father Mike will be able to talk to him," she smiles. Aw, Mom. Cristina says no offense, but Justin doesn't seem to be a fan of the holidays, and doesn't believe in Santa. Mom says yes, well, a mother's job is to protect her child's innocence. "This Christmas could be his last time." Unbeknownst to Mom, Justin has woken up. He croaks, "That's what you said last year. And the Christmas before that." Oops. Mom goes over to hug him, and tells him he's her big strong boy. "Santa brought you back to me!" Cristina can't take it anymore; she jerks the Christmas lights out of the wall and starts wheeling the tree out. "Sorry. CCU regulations." I know, I know, Mom is out of control. Still: heartless!
Bailey and Mere are in surgery. Bailey stops suddenly and turns away from the patient, making some hilarious nausea sounds. Mere asks if she's okay. Bailey: "Mmm hm. Just don't wanna throw up in the body cavity." Heeeee. She says she just needs a minute. "When you operate, the rest of the world goes away. No thirst, pain...but it's not that way when you're sharing your body with another person." Mere asks if she can't find someone to take over. Bailey says what she wants her to find is a strawberry milkshake, extra-thick. "Nausea. Comes with the hunger, Grey. GO!"
Cut to George, trying and failing to put on an East Coast accent for Alex. "My t'roat! It's like, wicked so-ah, yo. Plus I got, like, all dese sick breakouts?" OH MY GOD, I do believe that Christmas has come early this year. Alex tries not to fall over from embarrassment for George, and tells him that he'd like to inspect his tonsils. Just then, Izzie walks up. She asks George if he's sick, and Alex fesses up to, like, the millionth person today that he failed his boards and the others are helping him study. Izzie: "You failed your...YOU'RE HELPING HIM?" George says just to study! Nothing else! Not putting on crazy accents and pretending he's Marky Mark! Izzie tells him he's unbelievable. George gets up and starts running after Izzie, but turns back to tell Alex, "I was doing mono. The whole acne thing was just being a teenager." Heh.
George catches up with Izzie, who starts bitching incessantly about George being disloyal and she can't believe him, and as soon as she turns her back, they're best friends, blah blah. Shut up, Izzie. Mere sees them and tries to explain to Izzie that Alex's exam is tomorrow. Izzie: "He CHEATED on me!" Walk walk walk stomp mad shut up please. "He CHEATED on me!" Cristina passes by, all, "I told you she'd find out." Izzie: "Oh, of COURSE you're in on it. He CHEATED on me! With George's skanky syph nurse!" Jesus gay, SOMEBODY turn her off! It would be a Christmas miracle. Mere finally yells, "We KNOW he cheated on you, that's why we let you turn the house into Santa's freaking Village." She goes on to say that they're not big on holidays, but are trying to be supportive, because she's having a hard time -- but right now, Alex is having a harder time. Izzie asks why they even care what time he's having. Mere: "Because he's Dirty Uncle Sal." Ha! Everyone stares, and Mere has to explain that Alex is Dirty Uncle Sal, the one who embarrasses everyone at family reunions and can't be left alone with the teenage girls, but you invite him to the picnic anyway. "I have a mother who doesn't recognize me. As far as family goes, this hospital, you guys, are it. I know you're pissed at Alex, but maybe you could try to help him anyway. Sort of like in the spirit of this holiday you keep shoving down everybody's throats!" Yay! Izzie finally shuts up, and Mere walks off, and I love her.
Scene skipped.
Oh, FINE. It's Nadia's family, and they're all in there yelling that something's wrong with her. And something, uh, kind of is involving her vomiting blood. George runs in and sees that she needs surgery immediately. He yells at a nurse to prep her now, while her family SCREAMS in the background. Loudly.
Mere finally brings an impatient Bailey her shake. She takes big, nausea-fighting gulps as George runs in and says Nadia's ulcer has perforated, and she's vomiting blood by the pint. Bailey asks desperately if the chief is back, and they say no. She tells both of them to scrub in, and downs her shake as fast as she can. Aw.
McDreamy looks at Tim's CT, and sees that he has another bleed, which is probably causing this personality change. He tells Izzie to prep an OR while he talks to Tim's wife. As Izzie walks out, Addison walks in and tries to say hello. Izzie pretends she doesn't exist. Addison: "Nice talking to you!" Heh. Addison tells McDreamy she'll never speak to her again, and McDreamy ignores her as well. Addison says she's feeling strangely invisible today. McDreamy's all, "Huh?" Addison sees he's doing another surgery, and says she guesses dinner and shopping is out. McDreamy says it's not gonna happen tonight; he's sorry. Addison: "No, you're not, I'm just trying to figure out why you're n
ot. It's Christmas, Derek." McDreamy says he knows, and he's fine, and he'll see her at home, and he's totally lying. Addison is, once again, left there standing by herself, wondering why she even tries.McDreamy tells Tim he's going to need another surgery. He says the frontal lobe is difficult, and he should be prepared for the possibility that things could get worse. Tim growls, "Great. That's just great. I'm so glad we came to this hospital so I could be treated by a bunch of QUACKS who don't know their ASSES from the inside of my SKULL!" Tim's wife starts to cry, and follows McDreamy out of the room. She tells him this is not her husband; he doesn't speak to anyone this way. McDreamy says he knows it's difficult, but the important thing right now is that they stop the bleeding. Tim's wife says he's the love of her life, and she knows he has a lot of other patients, but...and here she starts really breaking down. "I need your word that you'll treat this change in my husband's personality as seriously as you would a fatal cancer, because that's the way this feels to me and my kids. We were happy. We were a happy family!" You were a crazy family, Tim's wife, but I do feel a little sorry for you. McDreamy says he's going to do everything he can.
Cristina eavesdrops on Father Mike telling Justin he doesn't have to feel guilty that he got another person's heart. "God wants you to live. That's why he sent you the heart." Justin says he's not stupid, okay? God didn't send him the heart, and there's no such thing as God, and he knows his first heart didn't come from anywhere magical. "My mom told me the heart came from Santa. I thought elves made it in their factory, or whatever. But that's not true, is it?" Father Mike says no, it isn't. Justin says he knows that, because where it really came from is some other kid who had to die so he could live. He also knows that his mom has been praying for the last two years, since the heart started to fail, for some other kid to die so he could live. Oh, tears! Mom starts to cry, but Justin isn't done. "I know that kid died so I could live. That's what you prayed for all the time, isn't it, Mom?" Mom hangs her head and weeps. Justin starts to fade, but hangs on long enough to say, "That's what she prays for, Father. How does God feel about that?" He crashes. Cristina rushes in and tries to revive him as Mom freaks out and begs her son to wake up. Cristina yells for someone to shut her up; she charges the defibrillator, which I think I might also need right about now, and Justin's heart starts beating again. Commercials.
We return to Cristina asking Burke if they can get Justin back on the donor list, because this heart is obviously bad. Burke says Justin waited two years for this one, and he has to fight for it. Cristina keeps arguing, and asks if there's anything they can do for him, medically speaking. Burke: "The way you're feeling right now? Is why I have to believe in something bigger than me. Because if I didn't, that powerlessness would eat me alive." Cristina sighs, AGAIN, and walks off.
McDreamy's in his second surgery with Tim, and is all of a sudden in much better spirits. He requests Christmas carols, or Hanukkah carols, whichever, and a cute song starts up. We cut to Bailey in surgery, getting fed sips of a drink as she works. She suddenly says, "Oh, do NOT kick me," steps back from the table, and addresses her belly: "You cannot kick me while I'm doing my job. Thank you." Aw! Bailey's gonna have a little baby, yes she is!
Izzie finds Alex sleeping on his study gurney. She slaps him across the head and barks, "Wake up! God, no wonder you failed your boards." Alex wants to know what she's doing there. Izzie: "I'm a farmer, okay, I'm drooling, puking, and crapping my pants." Alex can't believe she's helping him study. Izzie snots that she's not actually crapping her pants, now, is she? One wonders. Alex: "Why would you want to help me after what I did?" Izzie: "Because! It's what JESUS! Would friggin' DO!" Heeeeee.
Justin's room. Cristina sits by his bed and talks to him as he sleeps. She says she doesn't believe in Santa, either, or God. Justin wakes up at this, and listens. "I believe in medicine. And it's a medical miracle you're alive." She tells him he should have died at birth, except some surgeon figured out a way to give him a new heart, which is so much cooler than Santa. "So I'm just saying...I think you should decide to live. Live so you can become a doctor, and you can find a way to do heart transplants without someone having to die. Or, live so you can grow up and have kids and...raise them not to believe in Santa. That would piss your mom off. Just decide to live. Because in your case? Dying really isn't the best revenge." Oh, no, it can't be. You know, in Who-ville they say...that the Grinch's heart grew three sizes that day! Look at our Crissy, carving the roast beast!
Bailey and George walk wearily out of Nadia's surgery. They find her stupid family in the waiting room. Bailey says Nadia lost a lot of blood, and will require several days observation, but should have a full recovery. Nadia's mother starts screaming that they should sue for all the abuse they've suffered at the hands of the hospital. "We've sat here and sat here and sat here and sat here and sat here…" Seriously, she says it that many times. I counted. Bailey tells George under her breath that this is his chance, and not to screw it up. When Mom is finished ranting about suing them, George says, "Yeah, you could sue us. Or, you could consider the possibility of shutting the hell up." They're all, "What? Did you hear what he said? Why, I never! We want to see her now!" And so forth. George: "I am her doctor; she is my patient, and this is a HOSPITAL. The kind of place where people can generally use a little peace and quiet, so no, you can't see her. And I'm not saying this because you just threatened to sue Dr. Bailey, who's spent the last several hours saving your daughter's life, I am saying this because she is my patient, and she is in the recovery room, trying to recover, and visiting hours are OVER! So good night. And Merry Christmas." So brilliant. Our little Georgie, he did good, didn't he? Bailey looks at the stunned family, who've finally shut up, and fake-sorries, "Interns. So emotional. Apologies."
Alex asks Izzie the Farmer if the nausea is constant or intermittent. Izzie says it's constant. Alex asks when it started. Izzie starts tearing up, and whispers, "After I've worked in the fields all day." Alex tries to ignore the tears, and asks if Farmer Izzie has any allergies. Izzie can barely speak, and squeaks, "No." Aw, Izzie. Alex sits down to her, and says he never wanted to hurt her. Izzie, through her tears: "You didn't hurt me. I don't know you, I'm a farmer." Wah! Alex asks if she's still a patient. Izzie's all, "What does it look like?" Alex realizes it's organophosphates. "Pesticide poisoning. Crying's a symptom. That's it, right?" Izzie nods, still weeping. Aw, man! That was perfect, just perfect, Farmer Izzie.
McDreamy catches Mere leaving the hospital as another pretty Christmas song starts up. He asks her if she's okay, and she returns the sentiment he had at the beginning of the episode: "You know, just the holidays." McDreamy says he does know, and they wish each other a Merry Christmas.
Cut to McDreamy walking into Joe's bar. He gets a drink, which awesome Joe has already poured for him (single-malt Scotch, for those of you playing at home), and goes to sit to a radiant-looking Addison. Too bad she's about to get her heart broken. She asks after Tim, and McDreamy says he woke up smiling. Oh, good, they can get back to the crazy posthaste. Addison says she's drinking hot buttered rum, because of Christmas, which they both used to love, hint hint. McDreamy finally drops the bomb we all knew was coming: "Christmas makes you want to be with people you love. I'm not saying this to hurt you, or because I want to leave you, because I don't. Meredith wasn't a fling. She wasn't revenge. I fell in love with her. That doesn't go away because I decided to stay with you." He takes a big sip of his drink, and Addison, poor Addison, who I love to hate and hate to love, tries to take it all in. We pull back to an outside view of the doomed couple, and Mere voice-overs, "There's an old proverb that says you can't choose your family. You take what the fates hand you."
Cristina comes home to Burke's, exhausted from living with her newly-huge heart, and sees that Burke has placed a menorah in the window. She smiles, immediately undresses, and jumps into bed with him. MereVO: "And like them or not, love them or not, understand them or not..." Cristina tells Burke that Justin took a turn: his fever's down and his BP's up. She snuggles against him as Burke says, "I wonder what got through to him." Aw. MereVO: "...You cope."
Fade to Mere's. Izzie is lying under the Christmas tree, looking up at the lights like she's eight years old. Mere walks in and joins her. George follows, and then their new dog. It is, I have to admit, adorable, and Izzie looks absolutely GORGEOUS here under the tiny lights. MereVO: "Then there's the school of
thought that says the family you're born into is simply a starting point. They feed you, and clothe you, and take care of you, until you're ready to go out into the world...and find your tribe." We pan up the Christmas tree so we see only four sets of legs sticking out, and the doggie gives a happy bark. Merry Christmas, everyone, and I'll see you year!