McDreamy and Addison are still pretending they don't hate each other, but their land of make-believe is rocked when two of their best friends, a married couple from New York, show up. The woman, Savannah, has tested positive for the ovarian/breast cancer gene, and wants a hysterectomy and radical mastectomy as a result. You know, just a little surgery. Addison is behind her 100%, but the boys...not so much. They all argue a lot. The husband is completely unsupportive, but shows up in the OR at the last minute. Izzie has problems with Savannah's decision, too, and she and Alex fight about it. Then she slaps him. Then she kisses him. All better!
Cristina and Burke go on their first date. It's awkward and uncomfortable and hilarious, until a very tall man with Marfan's Syndrome has an aortic dissection a few tables over, and they have to save his life. Burke lets Cristina hold the saw (not a euphemism!) during surgery, and Cristina declares it the best date ever. George, meanwhile, is almost smushed by a man who falls five stories (onto a most unfortunate pigeon) and survives, causing George to "Carpe Diem!" all over the hospital and get on a lot of people's nerves. The man, it is revealed, was actually trying to kill himself. He gets a second chance at life, but not for long, because he dies during surgery anyway.
Bailey is pregnant!
Meredith spends most of her time trying to avoid the McDreamys, but when she learns about true love from an elderly couple dealing with the wife's cancer diagnosis, she finds McDreamy in an elevator and pathetically confesses that she misses him. McDreamy comes very close to breaking his vows, but then decides that he can't. It is still pretty hot.
We open with a shot of a ferry heading towards Seattle. Meredith voice-overs that, in the eighth grade, her English class had to read Romeo and Juliet. "For extra credit, Mrs. Snyder made us act out all the parts. Sal Scafarillo was Romeo. As fate would have it, I was Juliet." We close in on the boat, and see McDreamy looking over the upper deck. Down on the lower deck, as fate would have it, stands Addison, performing a solo rendition of the "King of the World" scene from Titanic. She turns, catches sight of her husband, and waves sweetly. McDreamy, clearly not a fan of Kate Winslet, grimaces and turns away. Burn! MereVO continues to say that all the other girls were jealous, but she told Mrs. Snyder that Juliet was an idiot. Cut to Meredith herself. She's sitting in her car in the hospital parking lot, trying to figure out a way to cover the pimple on her forehead with her bangs. It's not working. Just then, Addison pulls into the space right to her. MereVO: "For one thing, she falls for the one guy she knows she can't have." Addison gets out of her beautiful car, tosses her beautiful red hair, and stands there beautifully staring at poor, zitty Meredith. Mere finally looks over, and makes a face all, "Oh, hello, Dr. McPerfect. This is not embarrassing at all."
Inside the hospital, Alex and Izzie are having the coolest state-of-the-relationship talk ever. Izzie says there's a discussion they need to have. Alex: "I kissed you. With tongue. And I plan to do it again. End of discussion." Izzie, delightedly: "Okay!" The end! Now that's how it should always be done. With tongue.
Back in the parking lot, Mere has decided that, rather than covering her blemish with makeup or hair, a better idea would be to draw as much attention to her forehead as possible, and is slapping a Hello Kitty band-aid on it. She VOs that her eighth-grade English teacher explained that sometimes choice goes out the window when fate comes into play. She fixes her hair and sighs at herself.
Webber is following Bailey around, asking her if she's made a fellowship decision yet. "Five applications; five offers!" He tells her it must be her year, as everyone wants her, but of course Seattle Grace's fellowship is the best. Bailey just keeps on with her paperwork, all, "Uh huh." I love how Bailey doesn't even give a shit that she's blowing off the Chief of Surgery, as if he's not her boss or anything. "What? Oh, YOU AGAIN." Webber is not giving up until he has an answer, though, so he asks her again. Bailey, not even glancing up from the file she's holding, says she hasn't made a decision yet, and bolts. Webber stands around looking kind of confused.
Mere gets into a crowded elevator with her ponytail and band-aid, and VOs that even she knew in eighth grade that life, like love, is about making choices. McDreamy is standing in the back of the elevator. She doesn't see him, but I don't know how she doesn't feel the hole he's burning into her back. A couple behind Meredith are bickering about food poisoning, and the girl asks where "Billing" is. Mere and McDreamy answer in unison: "The basement." Mere turns to look sadly at McDreamy before VOing that fate has nothing to do with it.
Outside in the actual city, Cristina presents a cup of coffee to Burke, who thanks her and reminds her of their first official date that night. Cristina is like, "Yeah, it's a night...of dates." Hee. Burke can't believe she forgot, and asks if she wants to cancel. Cristina gets this little sly smile, and says no. Burke is happy, and they walk off together.
George is standing on the sidewalk holding a bagel, and notices the happy couple. He makes a face, then yet another when a pigeon poops right on his delicious bagel. MereVO: "Everyone thinks it's so romantic: Romeo and Juliet, true love...how sad." George drops his bagel in disgust, the pigeon starts nibbling on it, and Mere starts up again: "If Juliet was stupid enough to fall for the enemy, drink a bottle of poison, and go to sleep in a mausoleum..." George steps away from his bagel, and a body falls from the sky -- right onto the pigeon, bagel, and spot where George had just stood! MereVO wraps it up: "...then she deserved everything she got." Ha! And, credits.
We don't even get commercials after the credits, and come back to George hyperventilating that the dude who fell five stories has equal breath sounds, and he can't believe it. He asks Bailey to come over and see for herself. Bailey: "Somehow I believe you. Get in there and palpate his abdomen, Yang." If I didn't know any better, I'd think that might be Bailey's idea of sweet-talk. George is still amazed that the guy fell five stories and only injured his leg. Cristina tells him to can it. George continues to yammer on. They roll the guy over on his side, and -- EW -- he has little bits of pigeon all stuck in his back. George gets a little farklempt: "My life was saved by that pigeon." Bailey orders them to get some X-rays and then maybe look for the rest of "Tweety." Aw.
Meredith is with an elderly couple. The husband tells her that "Esme" wanted to wait until tomorrow to see her doctor, but she couldn't keep anything down, so he brought her in. Meredith tells Esme that she has acute polycystitis, which means that her gall bladder may have to come out; does Esme have any questions? Esme does: she wants to know what happened to Meredith's forehead. See, Mere? You should have just invested in some concealer. Meredith tells Esme it's nothing.
Cut to the reception desk, where a man is exasperatedly telling the lady sitting there that he doesn't need an appointment -- he's not a patient, he's a friend. McDreamy is passing by and calls out, "Weiss?" It is, in fact, Weiss, and Weiss has a wife named Sav, who runs up to hug Addison in the scene. Addison says if she knew Sav were coming, she'd have taken the day off. And baked a cake, I hope. She asks if everything's all right, and the look on Sav's face tells us that it is not.
Weiss is telling McDreamy that Sav's mom died a month ago of ovarian cancer. McDreamy didn't know. Weiss says that since then, all Sav can think about is this breast and ovarian cancer gene. McDreamy: "Skrbracta." At least, that's what it sounds like he says. I believe it's actually B.R.C.A. As for Sav herself, she's in Addison's office. Addison tells her that it's not the end of the world; it just means she has a gene mutation. Sav says she knows what it is. "I've already been to a genetic counselor, and to a gynecologist, and now I'm here. Addie, you're the best surgeon there is." Addison agrees with this, but says it isn't surgical -- she doesn't actually have cancer. Sav says she has no intention of getting it, either: "I want you to take out my ovaries, and the uterus. And when that's done...you're going to find the best person out there to cut off my breasts." Well, then. Addison looks like she's going to cry, or vomit, or both. Commercials.
We come back to Cristina and George performing a little bird surgery. George leans over and asks the fall guy if his leg hurts a lot. It doesn't, and George is clearly getting on his nerves: "Just do your thing, all right?" George simply cannot shut up about how awesome it is that he fell five stories and lived to tell about it. "There's no one you'd like me to call? I'd be shouting from the rooftops! Come on, man, it's a miracle! You don't even KNOW!" And so forth. Cristina just looks at him like he's lost his damn mind, and tells him that's MORE than enough. Seriously. George then leans down to Fall Guy, and says, "You lived. We both did. Carpe diem, man. Sieeeeeze the daaaaaay." Oh, George. I mean, Captain (my Captain). Fall Guy, to Cristina: "Any chance you can make him leave?" Cristina: "I really, really wish I could." Bailey walks in with some X-rays and booms, "Mr. Vargas! Your lower left leg bones? Are shattered." She says they need to get him into surgery. Mr. Vargas says wearily that that's just his luck. Cristina holds up something with a pair of tweezers and exclaims, "Beak!" George asks Mr. Vargas if he can keep it. What is WRONG with George?
Izzie stands in the doorway, listening to Sav explain that she needs this surgery because of all the women in her family who've had ovarian cancer. Weiss disagrees, saying she doesn't have cancer, and this is crazy. Sav argues that she has the gene mutation, and Addison adds that this mutation gives Sav up to an eighty-five percent chance of getting cancer. McDreamy, at the other end of the table, says yeah, but there's a fifteen percent chance that she won't. Oooh, a whole fifteen? Not great odds. They all start arguing at once, and Sav tells McDreamy that until he grows a uterus and watches his mother die from this disease, he doesn't get a vote. McDreamy asks Addison, "She tell you they're trying to get pregnant?" Addison says yes, she knows. McDreamy thinks having a hysterectomy might throw a wrench in that. I'll say. And it's something I also really don't understand: either you're trying to have a baby, or you're planning on getting rid of your uterus, but you can't do both, sister, because you still need it...how to say this? FOR THE BABY TO LIVE IN. Sav pushes another one of my hot buttons when she says they can "just adopt," as if it's as easy as going on down to the K-Mart and picking one out, but Weiss says he just can't handle all this. He doesn't want to "just adopt," he wants Savvy and all her girly parts. Sav screams that she's not talking about this. Izzie looks stricken throughout all of this, by the way. McDreamy says they all need to just take a deep breath and think about this. Addison's mouth drops open at this, and Sav says she's already thought about it. "This is going to happen." Addison tells Izzie to get her pre-op labs ready, and schedule her for surgery. The boys start yelling. Addison cuts them both off: "She is MY patient, Derek." The surgery is happening tomorrow, she says, and tells Izzie to get moving. Damn.
Addison and McDreamy continue to argue as they leave the room. Addison is looking at Sav as both a surgeon and a friend, but McDreamy is just looking at them as just friends, and says it's not medical, it's personal. Addison points out that they should be dealing with them as a couple, then, and also acting like a couple. McDreamy asks what that means, which is also a question I would like answered. Addison flings her hand in his face. "See the ring?" McDreamy tells her not to start this again. Addison complains that he doesn't talk to her at work, or even on the ferry, where he pretends not to see her, and he won't even wear his wedding ring, so why are they even in couples therapy? McDreamy says this isn't about them. Addison disagrees: "Medicine aside, our friends are going through hell in there, and we can't even act like we like each other long enough to help them." This is what I am saying.
Meredith is trying to take blood from Esme, who tells her that otters mate for life. She's trying to remember what other animals mate for life; her husband says it's voles, but if they'd listened to Phoebe on Friends, they'd know that the answer is lobsters. They're really a very sweet couple. Esme says she's always liked otters. Mere: "I've always been more of a dog person, myself." Esme and her husband laugh at this and are generally adorable.
OH MY GOD, George is still talking about The Guy Who Lived, only this time his victim is Meredith. He says it's made him realize that things happen for a reason. Mere: "Oh, yeah, my ex-boyfriend moved his wife to Seattle. Reason? To torture me." Cristina walks in and asks Mere what's up with Hello Kitty. Meredith says she doesn't want to talk about it. Cristina asks George if she can sign out to him early. George can't believe Cris doesn't want in on the miracle man's surgery. She can't, she says, because Burke is testing her with this date. "Besides, I've already spent an hour picking bird parts out of the guy." George walks over and whispers in her ear, "Carpe diem." Mere says she's beginning to look how she feels, and he needs to carpe that. George declares this to be the luckiest day in the world! Cristina suggests he tell that to the bird. I would like to suggest he shut it, and quick.
Izzie takes labs for Sav's surgery. Sav, sensing Izzie's judginess, asks her if it's "the kid thing." Izzie doesn't answer. Sav says it's the kid thing for most people. "And the breasts. Oh, and the total menopause, like overnight." Alex jumps in from across the room that he thinks it's brave. Izzie just says it's a big step, but you can tell she's hating every second of having to keep her mouth shut. Sav says there are just so many things she wants to do in life. Alex says they do excellent reconstructions these days. "Plus, you never have to wear a bra again." Sav starts to laugh, but Izzie shoots him a glare and asks if he doesn't have something else to do right about now. When he leaves, Izzie tells Sav it's not the kid thing. Sav says it's not like she has a lot of options: take her chances and never get cancer, or take her chances and die young. Izzie points out that there's a third option. Sav says she's listening. Izzie: "Take your chances, get cancer, and fight like hell to survive." That's, uh, not really so much an option as it is a death sentence, but it actually silences Savvy for a minute.
Cristina is getting ready for her date. She asks Izzie what dress she should wear. Her choices are a slinky litt
le red thing, a white floral little ugly thing, and a purple satin dress. Izzie says she'd look hot in any of them. Cristina: "Clearly. That's not the point." Hee. Mere and George walk in while she has on the red one. Mere's like, "Wow, you look hot." Cristina says she knows; she and Burke are going to talk about how hot she is over dinner. She takes the dress off and whines about how big a mistake this date is. George says it's easy to get nervous about dates, and tries to give her advice. Cristina says she knows how to go on a date. "I'm not you." Alex comes in and announces that Sav's surgery is scheduled, and he gets to stay for the "transflap reconstruction," which I think would be an excellent name for Sars's band. ["Keep an eye out for our first single, 'That Sounds Ouchy.'" -- Sars] Izzie says she just couldn't do it. Alex says no, she'd get all hot and sexy for her boyfriend, like Cristina over there. Cristina: "Go wrestle something." Speaking of which, she's wrestling herself into the purple dress, and I have to say, satin usually does no one any favors, but Ms. Oh looks incredible in it. Izzie tells Alex that she just couldn't cut off her breasts and ovaries, even if she knew she'd get cancer. Well, that is dumb. Cristina's like, "Just think of it like a hand. You'd chop off your hand if it meant you wouldn't get cancer." Izzie points out that, with a hand, you don't kill your sex drive, get hot flashes, have silicone breasts, and lose your ability to bear children. Mere says if it were her, she wouldn't even have the test. Oh, of course you wouldn't, Hello Kitty. Alex says they're just body parts. Izzie: "Oh, so you'd cut off your penis." He would if it kept him from dying, and besides..."I've got plenty to spare." Heh. Cristina is now completely dressed, with heels and everything. She turns to the girls, straightens her dress out, and proclaims, "I could do hot in my sleep. I'm a hot person." She is truly hot, but she still can't shake her nerves. "He's seen me naked a thousand times!" George is passing back by just then and covers his eyes, saying to himself, "Bad. Bad images in my head." Mere reminds Cristina that he still hasn't ever seen her outside of the hospital. Cristina sarcastically thanks her, and we cut......to the outside of the hospital. Burke tells Cristina how nice she looks. She thanks him awkwardly, then Burke tries to open her door for her, which Cristina totally messes up. Aw. Burke is looking pretty hot, himself, in a blazer and sweater with a stand-up collar. They drive off to their destination.
Bailey guides Meredith through Esme's gall bladder surgery. They see that Esme has something called a "porcelain gall bladder," which is apparently not good. Cut to Bailey telling Mr. Sorrento that when they removed his wife's gall bladder, they found calcifications: in other words, cancer. Mere stands there uncomfortably while Mr. Sorrento tries to take it in. Bailey breaks the even worse news to him that the only thing they can do now is keep her comfortable, as the surgery appears to be advanced. She kindly tells him that there are palliative surgeries they can do to help with the pain, but it won't cure it. Mr. Sorrento asks in a heartbreaking little voice how long she's got. Bailey says, from what they can tell, about four to six months. Mr. Sorrento looks over at his wife, lying in the hospital bed, and turns to Meredith. "I don't want Esme to know." Meredith doesn't know what to say. Mr. Sorrento says she's happy, and he doesn't want her to be afraid before she dies. He looks over at her again, and good Lord, it's sad.
George is with his miracle patient, who is like, "No more 'carpe diem,' man. I don't want to seize the day." George doesn't GET IT at all, and starts blabbing about how happy he is to be alive, the sky is bluer, food tastes better, please shut upper... "And I didn't survive a five-story fall!" Mr. Vargas looks away, deep in thought, and George finally understands that he jumped. It should be mentioned here, at this moment of tension, that George has taken the pigeon's beak and hung it around his neck ON A STRING. I don't even know what to say. Thankfully, it's time for some commercials to ease the pain.
When we come back, Mr. Vargas is telling George that before he jumped, all he could think about was his ex-girlfriend Daisy, who actually works in the hospital. "What kind of joke is that?" George, finally calmed down a little, says maybe he got a second chance. Mr. Vargas tells George that he has to go find Daisy, so he can tell her she's the reason he's alive. George looks like he's thinking, "Hmmm, maybe that's seizing a little too much of the day."
Over in some corridor, Weiss is lamenting to McDreamy the life he won't have once Sav gets this surgery. He says they picked out baby names, had a future, et cetera. He's mad because she made the decision without even considering his opinion. McDreamy says it's a difficult time for both of them, but they'll get through it. He sits down to Weiss and claps him on the shoulder. "You can do this. You guys love each other." Weiss is like, "Oh, like you and Addie?" Oooh. McDreamy says that was different. Weiss thinks, not so much. McDreamy avoids the subject completely by saying he has to go check on a patient, and he'll see Weiss at dinner.
At another dinner altogether, Burke and Cristina sit rigidly looking at their menus. Cristina asks where the butter is, and Burke offers her the olive oil. "Oh, no, I want butter." They are both totally uncomfortable, not even making eye contact. The waiter comes over and asks after their wine choices. Burke asks for a recommendation for a "nice, oaky Chardonnay," which...gross, and also, Cristina pipes up that she wants Bordeaux. Burke says they need a white wine with lobster. Cristina says she's having steak. Burke: "You...you eat red meat?" Cris: "You...don't?" Oh, this is so good. They both look back down at their menus, and the waiter just stands there, confused.
Meredith can't believe that George is actually going to hunt down Daisy while she's working. George says someone's got to tell her how Mr. Vargas feels, because it could change everything. He says he thought Mere was a romantic. Mere says she was...past tense. The elevator stops, and McDreamy gets on. "Well, this is fun. Hello again. I like the Hello Kitty, by the way." Uncomfortable silence. George tries to break the tension by saying that Daisy works in Billing, which is where? Mere and McDreamy, in unison again, but with more anger this time: "The basement."
Webber finds Bailey again to bug her some more about her fellowship. She is still unresponsive, and looks to be actively running away from him. Webber follows doggedly and gives her the hard sell, saying their hospital has the best resources, they're a private hospital, and more, so why isn't she more excited? Bailey jumps a little, and is like, "No, I'm excited...but...excuse me, sir...I have to go scrub in." Webber is as confused as Burke and Cristina's waiter, a scene to which we now return.
After they sit in silence for about five years, Cristina says they should probably skip dessert, because she has to be up early in the morning. Burke's like, "Oh. Right. Not a problem." Poor Burke and his oaky Chardonnay. I don't know what I'm busting on him for, though: the only bottle of wine we have in the house is a big bottle of twelve-dollar Shiraz, vintage Rite Aid Drugs. More silence, until there's a crash from a nearby table. Someone yells for a doctor, and it is ON. Cristina and Burke both scream, "YES!" and rush over. Commercials.
Our dynamic duo are now attending to the man who collapsed, who also happens to be one-half of the couple in the elevator from the beginning of the episode. Burke notices the length of his fingers, and Cristina remarks that he's gotta be at least six-foot-four. The man's wife is all, "Huh?" and they explain that he probably has Marfan's syndrome, w
hich means that the walls of his blood vessels are weak. In fact, he could be having an aortic dissection right now! They have to get him to the hospital! They are both so excited it's killing me. The wife is like, "What are you talking about? Who ARE you people?" Cristina calls the hospital to reserve an OR, and Burke orders the paramedics around. The paramedic asks Burke who the hell he even is. Cristina: "He's a cardiothoracic surgeon who's gonna operate on him." Burke: "And she's with me." Aw! It's surgeon love.Izzie busts in on Sav putting on makeup for her dinner out. Izzie apologizes for the intrusion, and Sav explains that she's going to a sort of last supper with her friends. She asks how she looks, and Izzie tells her she's a beautiful woman. Sav: "And so are you. Is that why this is so hard for you to understand?" Izzie says nothing. Sav says she knows, the menopause, the boobs. But they have hormone replacement, and reconstructions, right? "But the sexy Savvy," she goes on as she brushes her hair, "the Savvy that gets noticed when she walks into a room...yeah, I wonder if that Savvy's still going to be there. Honestly, I haven't a clue. But then I think, 'Is that why Weiss married me?' God, I hope not." Very touching, and I hate to tell sexy Savvy this, but she's no Izzie. Who appears to have gone mute, as she just stands there and stares hard into the middle distance. Wait a minute...Michael? Michael Scofield?
George has found Billing, after what appears to be a long and torturous journey. He asks the first person he sees, "Could this place be any further away? It's like Siberia down here." The lady, who is obviously going to turn out to be Daisy, sneers that it's because they don't like sick people. Well, aren't you a charmer? George points out that she is in a hospital, then asks if she's Daisy. She is indeed, and says she doesn't answer billing questions after 7 PM. Daisy's a bitch. George says that, actually, Stu sent him. Daisy asks if this is some kind of a joke. George says it isn't, and he's going into surgery, and wanted George to come down and find her. Daisy: "Well, you just tell that bastard that he could have come looking for me like ten years ago." Whoa, I guess I can see why Daisy's so bitter. George leaves disappointedly, as Stu is wheeled into surgery.
Izzie and Alex sit in the observation room and argue. Alex asks why she's so mad; Izzie says he looks at everything in a skirt. Alex: "Maybe something schoolgirl. Pleated." He's so disgusting, and it makes me love him even more. Izzie says he wouldn't love the skirt if it didn't have a pair of big bouncing boobs attached to it. Alex is very cavalier about the whole thing, all, "You cut 'em off, you build 'em back up. Life goes on." Izzie thinks if there were a genetic test for testicular cancer , he wouldn't have the surgery, because it's castration, and what man would willingly cut off the part of his anatomy that makes him a man. "This woman is having herself castrated, and we book an OR and act like it means nothing. How can you possibly act like it's no big deal? What if it was me?" Alex tells her she's freaking out, which she is. Izzie says he wouldn't be so hot to kiss her with tongue if she showed up tomorrow with plastic boobs and menopause, now, would he? She stalks out totally dramatically. Man. I love Izzie and everything, but she needs to take it down about five hundred notches.
It's time for Fall Guy's surgery. George has scrubbed in, and he asks how it went with Daisy. George lies that Daisy wasn't there; she's on vacation. Stu says he bets she went up to New Hampshire to be with her parents, because that's where she's from. He looks happy as he says this, as if he's actually taken George's constant carpe diem-ing to heart. George says he's sorry, and Stu tells him it's all good. It is twice as sad, then, when he crashes immediately after anesthesia. Commotion! CPR! Commercials!
Bailey tells George that there will be an autopsy on his new friend, but there was nothing they could do. "Sometimes people get on the table, and they just die." Is Chandra Wilson from the South? I think she must be southern, because her delivery is so much like my mother's -- part concerned, part offhanded, and all awesome. "Sometahms pay-pul jes' get up on the tay-bul and they jes' daaah, bless their little haw-erts." George is all, "But he fell five stories! And lived! It doesn't make any sense!" Bailey tells him they're just all part of the cosmic joke. "Now leave me alone." Bailey goes over to look at the board, and is interrupted by Meredith. She says Mr. Sorrento doesn't want her to tell his wife about her cancer. Bailey gives it to her: "You haven't TOLD her yet? Okay, I didn't hear you say that. You are her doctor. It is your responsibility to give your patients the information necessary to make an informed decision. Now. I'm hungry, I'm tired, and you're in my way." Ha! Hello Kitty cannot save you from the wrath of Bailey, Miss Meredith.
Cristina and Burke frantically scrub in for surgery. They are, like, orgasmic, y'all. Burke asks Cristina if she saw the echo. Cristina says that dissection wasn't subtle. Burke: "Did you see that wingspan? And the pectus carinatum?" Cristina: "What about his palate?!?" They go into surgery, hot as they've ever been.
Bailey is sitting up asleep in a break room. Webber busts in and asks her if she's being wooed. She jerks awake, all, "'Scuse me?" Webber says he knows she's being wooed away by some other fabulous hospital, but it's not going to bother him, oh no. "It's fine. Fine! Go be a hotshot somewhere else." Bailey says that's not it. Webber is not hearing it. "How could you do this to me? I'm hurt, really hurt." He tells her she's gifted, and she's ungrateful, and that's all he's saying. Bailey finally confesses what we've all known since this silliness started: "I'm pregnant, you blind moron." Webber's like, "You...what?" Bailey runs down the list of all the awful things that happen to one's body during pregnancy: elevated heart rate, indigestion, gas, swelling. She says she's carrying a boy, which means you burn 10% more calories than if you were carrying a girl. "GUESS WHAT I'M CARRYING? I try for seven DAMN years, and a month before my fellowship notifications, the stick turns blue. Men. From the very beginning they just suck the life right out of you. I'm not leaving. I'm pregnant." Webber is totally shamefaced. "Ummm...congratulations?" Aw.
Back in the OR of Hotness, Burke tells "Dr. Yang" that she will be handling the bone saw. Cristina is thinking this is the best day ever, and thanks "Dr. Burke." The nurses and other technicians in the room all exchange knowing looks. Cristina gets hold of the saw, and Burke cozies up behind her. She whispers to him, "You won't let me pick the wine, but this you'll let me do?" Burke laughs as if she's just said something not at all relationship-related, perhaps some innocent joke about bone saws and how that doesn't in any way sound dirty, and asks if everyone's ready for bypass. Cristina starts up the saw, if you know what I mean, and I am certain that you do, and Burke guides her hand. DIRTY!
McDreamy and Meredith are on the elevator again. He jokes that they apparently both live on it. Meredith tries her best to ignore him, but he gets up in her face and says she has to at least acknowledge that he exists. I'm going to have to disagree with that, pretty hair or no. Mere will barely look at him, and then the elevator stops. It's for Addison, of course. She acts just a little too pleased at this turn of events, and drawls over at McDreamy, "So, you ready to go?" McDreamy looks like he's ready to go just about anywhere but where he is. Mere stands behind them with her arms crossed and shoots daggers at Addison's back. Ugh, they're all so annoying.
Burke and Cristina are now out of surgery, and explain to the wife that her husband's doing fine. The wife says it
's lucky they were having dinner at the table. Burke says it was, and they both nod smugly. Heh. They turn and leave the wife, so proud of themselves they could almost make out over it right then and there.Meredith is finally telling Esme about her condition. Esme looks thoughtful, then says they were supposed to go to Venice at the end of the month. "Do you know the story?" Mere shakes her head no. Esme tells her that the story goes, if you ride a gondola under the Bridge of Sighs, you'll be together for eternity. She then immediately tells Meredith not to tell her husband. See what they did there? Esme doesn't want him to know; he's always so worried about who will go first. Meredith says they can't have a relationship built on a lie. Esme is like, "Oh, you young people. It's not a lie. It's our future. I've been with the love of my life for sixty years, and now I'm dying. We're going to Venice. We're getting in that gondola." You go in that gondola, Esme! Meredith is near tears, and smiles ruefully at the wise old woman.
We switch to a shot of Seattle at night, then to Sav and Weiss and McDreamy and Addison. Sav is telling the McDreamys that they're going to make it, because they were always meant to be. Addison looks hopeful, McDreamy like he wants to slit his wrists. Sav proposes a toast to taking life in your own hands. They all cheer. Then Weiss proposes his own special toast: "And here's to bull, and here's to crap!" HA! "And here's to oopherectomy, hysterectomy, and double bilateral mastectomy. How smart am I to know all those words?" Oh, wait, not so funny anymore. I'd like to note here that everyone stops drinking but McDreamy. My kind of man. Savvy begs Weiss to stop, but he goes on to toast breast reconstruction, nipple reconstruction, losing your wife, and also being the ass who can't be supportive. Hear, hear! Or not. Weiss gets up and leaves, ruining their super-fun time. Commercials.
The day, Weiss is still dithering about being there for Sav's surgery. McDreamy says they can get through this. Weiss: "This is coming from a guy who packed his bags in the middle of the night and drove three thousand miles to live in a trailer." McDreamy concedes that he might have been crazy to do that, but he's probably crazier now for trying to work things out with Addison. "Am I out of my mind, man? I mean, you tell me." Weiss has no answer for this. McDreamy has some kind of epiphany, and says it's about the ring. He says Savvy didn't screw around with his best friend, and she's looking for support. And if he can't give her that...if doesn't give her that..."then what the hell am I doing?"
Mere walks out of Esme's room, and Esme's husband stops her at the door. "You didn't tell her, did you?" Meredith hesitates for a moment, then lies that she didn't. Mr. Sorrento gives her a grateful look, then goes in to check on Esme and bring her some coffee. Ben Harper plays in the background, letting us know that it is all very very poignant.
Later, Mere and George are on a roof getting all existentialist on us. George is disappointed because he thought Fall Guy had cheated fate somehow. Mere says maybe he did cheat fate. George: "He died." Point taken. Mere says she thinks you can't wait for something to fly underneath you and save your life -- you have to save yourself. She says this as if it's these are the saddest words she's ever had to say. Aw, Hello Kitty, why so glum? George: "You mean, the pigeons aren't going to come?" Meredith confirms that, no, the pigeons aren't going to come. I don't know what that means.
Cut to Savvy's hospital room. Addison is taking vaguely pornographic pictures of Sav's boobs, in an attempt to document them before they are removed from her body. Sav is like, "You know these are gonna be year's holiday cards. And this way Weiss gets to look at them whenever he wants." Somehow, I think that is going to be cold comfort for Weiss. And probably kind of tacky for a holiday card. Addison says she'll take Sav down to the pre-op in just a few minutes. Sav says she knows Weiss will show up, because he always does. Addison gets very serious, and tells Sav that as her doctor, she's behind her 100%. "But as your friend, are you absolutely sure about this?" Sav says she gets it. She knows what she's losing, but then she thinks about what she's gaining: "My life. This gives me a shot, a shot at me and Weiss becoming this old wrinkled couple who argue all the time. Wouldn't you want that? A chance to grow old with Derek?" Addison's face breaks and she says, "Yeah. Yeah, I do." Tears! Addison has reduced me to tears, now that's something to cry about right there. Sav cries, "Oh, God!" and Addison comforts her, which is Meredith's cue to start up with her voice-over.
"Maybe Romeo and Juliet were fated to be together, but just for a while, and then their time passed. If they could have known that beforehand, maybe it all would have been okay." Alex finds Izzie in the locker room, sits down behind her, and says, "I like your rack." Awesome. Izzie jumps up, all, "What is WRONG with you?" Alex says he likes her rack, and he'd want them around if he could have them, but it wouldn't matter if you got rid of them. "Because, really? I want you." Izzie then slaps him hard across the face, I guess for the rack comment? MereVO: "I told Mrs. Snyder that when I was grown up, I'd take fate into my own hands." Izzie grabs Alex and kisses him, with tongue. Mere: "I wouldn't let some guy drag me down." Izzie gets up and walks out, a smile creeping across her face as she goes. Pretty music starts to play, by a girl with a pretty voice whose name I do not know.
Esme gets discharged from the hospital. Her husband takes her by the hand and gently leads her out. MereVO: "Mrs. Snyder said that I'd be lucky if I ever had that kind of passion with someone, and if I did, we'd be together forever." Mere sadly watches the Sorrentos leave the hospital, surely on their way to Venice and the Bridge of Sighs.
Cut to Burke and Cristina leaving the hospital. Burke says he guesses they never did get that first date. Cristina whips around and enthuses, "Are you kidding? That was the best date I've ever been on." Yay!
Sav is in the OR and prepped for surgery. Mere tells us, "Even now, I believe that for the most part, love is about choices." Sav looks around, and the door slams open, revealing...McDreamy? Oh, you know it's just a trick. Weiss follows him in, and Savvy starts to cry, saying, "You're here!" MereVO says it's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending...most of the time. As she says this, McDreamy and Addison exchange looks. Uh huh. Addison tells Sav they're going to go ahead and get started now. Sav says she's ready, and squeezes Weiss's hand.
MereVO: "...And sometimes, despite all your best intentions, fate wins anyway." Mere steps into the elevator, and there is McDreamy, waiting at the back. She turns around to face the front, and murmurs, "I miss you." McDreamy steps up behind her. He takes a whiff of her hair and starts to lean in -- just long enough for it to become extremely hot -- and then whispers, "I can't." The music picks up, and McDreamy exits the elevator. Whew! Somebody better end this episode before all of America falls into a swoon.