Previously, the really good-looking interns all started working at Seattle Grace. Meredith found out her one-night stand is her boss. Meredith's mom is a legend at the hospital, and she has Alzheimer's, which no one knows.
Meredith pins up a flyer in the locker room soliciting roommates. Meanwhile, a ferry is heading towards the city. She VOs the Theme of the Week. "It's all about lines. The finish line at the end of residency, waiting in line for a chance at the operating table, and then, there's the most important line. The line separating you from the people you work with." As part of the arrival montage Cristina zooms up on a motorcycle, while George forgets something and pops back into his car. "It doesn't help to get too familiar. To make friends. You need boundaries between you and the rest of the world." Gee, I wonder if maybe her thinking might be changed by the end of today. That would be SHOCKING. While they all get scrubbed up in the locker room, Alex checks out Izzie, and Meredith puts some cute, preppy leopard flats away in her locker.
Meredith interviews an eager blonde girl, telling her that she's not right to be her roommate. To illustrate why, she asks where Blondie was when the Challenger exploded. After a quick "huh?" Blondie guesses she was in kindergarten. "Exactly," points out Meredith.
Izzie is bitching, wondering why Meredith is even bothering to put up flyers -- she wants to move in, but Meredith explains that they don't want to live together after the 100 hours per week they already spend working together. Meredith is holding a coffee, which she tries unsuccessfully to convince Cristina is not a bribe for Bailey. Izzie and now George keep trying to convince her why they should be her new roommates. George's argument is that his mom irons his scrubs. Izzie says she loves to clean. Despite (or because of) the pathetic and kind of awesome arguments, she shoots them down. Bailey arrives to assign them to their posts for the day: George is on the code team, Meredith is in the trauma cage, Cristina has to handle the weekend's lab results, and Izzie is doing sutures. Meredith approaches Bailey to ask about assisting in the OR, and quickly offers her a mocha latte, which must be all the tastier having been flavored with the desperation of an intern's surgical longing. Everyone else pipes in since Meredith loosened the floodgates but Bailey shuts them all up, telling them that their only job is to keep her happy. "Do I look happy? No. Why? Because my residents are whiny." She orders them to their jobs, grabs the latte, and declares as she departs, "No one holds a scalpel until I'm so happy, I'm Mary freaking Poppins." Cristina pauses to give Meredith shit about the coffee, but Bailey scatters them.
McDreamy is waiting by the elevator -- at first I thought he was playing a video game, but it turns out to just be his pager. That's one large pager. Although you've heard about the correlation between the size of a man's... oh wait, that's his feet. My bad, my mind appears to be elsewhere. Meredith comes up and waits to him and out of thin air he declares that Seattle has ferry boats. It's taken him six weeks there to realize this, but she points out logically that Seattle is surrounded by water on three sides. He replies, "Now I'm going to have to like it here. I wasn't prepared to like it here. I'm from New York. I'm genetically prepared to dislike it anywhere but Manhattan." As the doors close on them now inside the elevator, he adds, "I have a thing for ferry boats." Derek, that's not nice; Meredith is in no way large enough to be compared to a ferry boat.
While they stare at the lights of the elevator, Meredith tells McDreamy she won't go out with him, though he didn't ask. She continues telling his back about her determination to never go out with him, and they banter about how he's her boss. "Your boss's boss," he corrects her. She calls sexual harassment, but he calls it just riding the elevator. She declares that a line has been drawn, but when he turns around, amused, she drops all of her files to make out with him. I have never wanted to ride an elevator so much in my life. As the doors ping open, she grabs her files off of the floor and flees.
A nurse comes out of a room where alarms are loudly beeping and ringing, and asks Meredith if she's a surgeon. Between the beeping and the ominous soundtrack music, it's evident that something horrible is waiting inside. Meredith is told that the patient is a 25-year-old woman who was attacked in the park. What we can see of her is covered in blood, and she's suffering from blunt head trauma. Her shoes, peeking out from beneath the sheet covering her bloodied body, are the very same leopard flats that Meredith wore to work that day. This causes her to zone out for a second before gathering her composure and ordering a CT and other assorted tests.
In the OR, Meredith watches both Burke and McDreamy work on the girl. They comment that she's going to take a lot of recovery, but it's a miracle she's alive, especially since she's such a small girl. Burke notes how her hands are a mess, showing that she tried to fight back. McDreamy counters that she didn't just try, and that everything under her nails shows that "She kicked his ass." "So, we have a warrior among us!" Burke bellows with bravado. Meredith speaks up to tell them, "Allison. Her name is Allison." At that moment, Burke seems to find what he's been looking for and pulls something out of what I think might be her stomach that resembles a ball of flesh. He has no idea what it is, but when he turns towards Meredith, she gasps. She then struggles to say, "She bit it off." Somehow, the guys still don't understand and need her to spell it out. "That's... his... penis." Instantly disgusted, Burke can't throw it into a bowl fast enough. With that, we head to credits.
Burke and McDreamy discuss Allison's recovery, which sounds surprisingly positive. If she fights the infection and wakes up (oh, is that all?) then she should be okay. Both men, however, still seem completely squicked out by their earlier find. Changing the subject, Burke invites Derek for drinks. He makes one of those I'm-joking-but-really-I'm-totally-not comments about wanting to learn why Derek would leave New York for Seattle. Derek replies genially, "It's a short story, actually. Your Chief of Surgery gave me an offer I couldn't refuse." Burke seems surprised and amused, but the second Derek leaves, so does his smile.
George is busy mocking an irate Cristina that as part of the code team, he "saves lives." Apparently that's how he gets through his disappointing lack of actual surgery. He continues to give her shit while she rifles through paperwork until she snaps, "Bambi, don't say another word until AFTER the hunter shoots your mother." He picks up his Treo and calmly tells her, "I don't like you." She finally vents, and we learn the root of her annoyance: "I have a BA from Smith, a Ph.D from Berkeley, and an MD from Stanford and I'm delivering lab results. It's going to take me all day to get to these." Do you find yourself short on oxygen up there on your high horse? Bailey hears her and tells her she'd better get on it, then. She also has a cherry for the top of Cristina's lab-results sundae -- Alex Karev is now another of Bailey's Merry Band of Whiny Interns, and Cristina needs to show him around. Alex introduces himself and says it's nice to meet her. Cristina: "The dude who called Meredith a nurse. Yeah, I hate you on principle." Alex: "And you're the pushy, overbearing kiss-ass. I hate you too." If only I didn't know where his heart would eventually lead him, I'd say these two were being set up as a wacky mismatched couple whose disdain ultimately turns to love. Or at least hot sex. George gets a page and takes off, merrily leading a band of running hospital staff into a patient's room. He's very proud as he declares, "I'm Doctor O'Malley, I'll be running this code. What do we got?" However, his confidence seems to slip a little as he watches them deliver a shock.
Izzie is helping a timid patient named Mrs. Lu, letting her know she's going to need six stitches. Mrs. Lu, however, doesn't speak English. She tries to tell Izzie something in Chinese, seeming very worried, but Izzie can't understand, and no one in the room can translate for her.
Meredith moseys around the hospital, carrying a cooler containing the chomped-off penis. She heads into the Chief's office, who is on his way to meet her. His secretary absolutely lights up with undisguised excitement and asks, "Is that it?" After a pause she quickly adds, "Can I see it?" Meredith is taken aback, so she backs down, but you can tell she'd have been delighted if Meredith had agreed to it. When Richard enters the room, he asks after her mother. Meredith uncomfortably, vaguely says she's taking time off, and Richard gaily guesses, "To write another book, I suppose." Instead of replying, Meredith forges ahead, saying that she's got the... package. There, I couldn't help myself. Unfortunately for her, she's not going to be handing it off anytime soon. The regulations state that whoever collected it needs to hold on to it and give it to the police, who can't make it to the hospital for hours. Not exactly delighted to carry around someone else's salami for the day, she inquires, "So what am I supposed to do with a penis?" You might think this is going to get old. If you're like me and giggle at these jokes like a 12-year-old? It totally doesn't. Richard, ever the gentleman and boss, just purses his lips instead of responding.
Cristina, it turns out, handles her patients with nothing but the utmost gentle care and empathy. By that, I mean that she's able to tell people in very clinical terms what's wrong with them while acting bored out of her mind with a touch of resentment thrown in. After giving her first patient the long name for his condition, she tells him it's treatable, and after a long pause he and his family finally realize that this is good news they're receiving. The women around him begin to hug and weep, which confuses emotionless Cristina. She's even more befuddled when she is hugged and kissed also. Alex smirks at her as she endures the indignity of receiving human happiness in physical form.
Back at one of the stations, Meredith puts the cooler down and George bugs her about what's inside. Meredith assures him he doesn't want to know, but being the eager peppy beaver that he is, he persists. Meredith asks, "You really want to know?" He nods. "It's a severed penis." It turns out he really didn't want to know.
Cristina and Alex come by, each trying to designate the other as the hug-receiver. Alex tells her he doesn't do hugs. "And besides, you're the ovarian sister here." She's aghast, screaming at him, "Since when did possession of ovaries become an insult?" But also, Alex? It's a little redundant; your insult skills need fine-tuning. Does that mean that somehow, someone's the ovarian brother? See -- think it over and get back to us. Changing the subject, in his ever-eager way, George announces, "Meredith's carrying a penis around in a jar." Well, a cooler, but the point is taken. I love that she's actually gone into the back office, leaving George with the cooler sitting right in front of his face. Meredith corrects him on the jar/cooler point, and Cristina swings at the softball lobbed her way and quips, "Talk about taking a bite out of crime."
Once the Bitter Lab Results Duo are gone, George sticks his head in the office door to ask Meredith if she's okay. She explains to him about Allison's shoes being the same ones she wore to work that day, ones that she normally never even wears since they're uncomfortable. "And it's stupid, and I'm tired, and forget it." George gets a conspiratorial look on his face. "You know what you need?" His eyes widen to the size of saucers. She declares, "No. It's sick and twisted. We said last time was the last time! ... You've been doing it without me?" George smoothly replies, "Nancy Reagan lied. You can't just say no. Come on." George absolutely delights me. He's really the human embodiment of a teddy bear. And I know guys hate that, but I can't help it. You're cute, George, and you're a good friend. He declares he's going either way, and she can go or stay and be unhappy.
And then, this recapper's cold, black heart turned to mush, my friends. They gaze through the glass of the nursery to all the newborns sleeping or squirming around in their little hats and blankies. As if that weren't enough on its own, George coos and makes funny faces at them, as Meredith, delighted and on the verge of tears, tells him, "You are such a woman." As George basks in his emasculating yet close moment with the lady of his dreams, his pager goes off, and after a split second hesitation, he runs off. She tells the babies that they're really cute, and right then one of them cutely starts to turn bright blue, as if it had just had some Wonka three-course-meal gum.
Meredith goes inside and checks the heartbeat of the now baby-colored baby when a young doctor, presumably another intern, comes in extremely pissed off and demands to know why Meredith is there. She only asks why no tests have been ordered, and says that the baby has a heart murmur. The combative intern already knew this, and despite hearing that he just turned blue, only snaps, "You're surgery. You're not authorized to be in here. Do you know how much trouble you can get into for this?" Meredith only presses the intern to do something, but she's rudely told that it's benign and then is escorted out. When Meredith asks if she's sure, nameless intern only tells her, "I'm a doctor too. You should get out." Meredith grabs her Cooler O' Fun and leaves.
Down in sutures, Izzie has called Cristina to see if she can talk to Mrs. Lu since the translator is late. She looks exhausted, but Cristina's not going to go easy on her just because of that. She tells her no, she can't, and when Izzie asks why, she explains, "Because I grew up in Beverly Hills. The only Chinese I know is from a Mr. Chow's menu. Besides, I'm Korean." Izzie and Mrs. Lu both just sigh. I'm hungry now.
Burke runs into Richard on the Crazy Artsy Elevated Glass Walkway. Burke asks him about his hiring Derek, but doesn't buy the Chief's answer that it's just a favor McDreamy did for his old teacher. Richard just tells him he's not retiring for many years, but Burke interrupts sternly: "Chief of Surgery is mine." He's told, "It was yours. Now I'm not so sure." He's such a kindly, grandfatherly guy, but man, can he put someone in their place with a few words. Burke's up for fighting, and protests about being the best surgeon with the lowest mortality rate at the hospital. Richard ignores this and calmly directs Burke, "Now ask me why I'm not so sure about you. Ask me why!" Burke, betraying his show of confidence, just turns and leaves.
Back with the two Bitter Bearers of Good News, they grouse about everyone living and not needing surgery. Cristina divides up the remaining ten notifications and tells Alex they'll each take five. It appears they're trying everything to cut down on the long hours spent making people happy. She orders him, "Get in, get out. No smiling, no hugging, no letting them cry. Just be quick about it." They then each accuse each other of being slow (though this wasn't ever really touched on until this very moment) and sprint in opposite directions in a race to see who can finish first. We cut back and forth between their clinical, speedy explanations, and the scenes are spliced so quickly that their voices run over the images of each other. It's a nice touch showing how droning and similar this job is for both of them. Every one of their patients look confused after they get their diagnoses. Alex explains, "We're not going to amputate your leg." Cristina tells another lucky soul, "You get to keep your kidneys. Congratulations." She can't avoid all of the hugs, and those, combined with the number of "Congrats" she has to deliver, are sending her into an ever more foul mood. As the two continue to race each other to jaunty music, George does racing of his own with his pack of shockers running behind him.
Meredith is still interviewing potential roommates and this time has three at once, including Blondie from earlier. She asks what their favorite bands are. Blondie says Queen (nice choice, Blondie), the guy says Twisted Sister (because they've just encountered a rip in the space/time continuum and it's apparently 1985 again), and Meredith just gets up and leaves. Twisted Sister tries in vain to defend himself with the "there's no right answer" line, but she mutters, "The Go-Go's, Duran Duran, The Eurythmics... " This frantic Montage of Interns is brought to an end with the long beep of flat-lining, and George must call a time of death.
Meredith is staring at Allison, who is lying in bed, unconscious, with every imaginable tube and wire attached to her body and a bandage around her head. McDreamy comes by to report that they've called every hospital, but so far no one with a bitten member has come in for treatment. She asks if Allison has family, but unfortunately she's all alone. Her parents are deceased and she moved to Seattle just three weeks earlier. "Welcome to the city," McDreamy says. He asks Meredith if she's okay. She gives a really unconvincing no, but escapes further questioning by saying she has to do something and fleeing the room.
It turns out she really meant it -- she follows Burke down the stairs to tell him about Baby Blueberry. He asks if pediatrics called for a consult, and when she says no, he tells her he can't check the baby out without one. "Look, it's not like I'm the chief or something." Thank goodness he's not bitter and is handling this career hiccup maturely.
Izzie tapes up a bandage on another patient as Mrs. Lu silently looks on. The patient she's treating is drunk and finds her hot. Hey, every girl needs a little pick-me-up during the day, right? Mrs. Lu runs up to Izzie and tries to talk to her again, and Izzie finally gets her to sit down and submit to her arm being looked at. She has what appears to be a really deep slice in her arm. As Izzie works on her, Mrs. Lu continues to try and tell her something urgent in Chinese.
Cristina runs into Meredith, sitting downstairs in a chair, guarding the cooler. After a silence, she admits she kissed McDreamy. "I was having a bad day. I am having a bad day." Cristina replies, "So what you do on your bad days: Make out with Dr. McDreamy." Seriously, I'd love it if my bad days involved that. Usually they involve getting bitched out on the phone and giving myself a deep paper cut, or something. Bring on the Hot Doctor Salve for that, please. Meredith tells her, "Well, you know, that and carrying around a penis just makes everything seem so shiny and happy." Fine. TOUCHÃ, Meredith. Is that what you wanted? Cristina mentions hearing about the matching shoes. Meredith wants confirmation that it's weird, but Cristina just thinks it's weird that she cares. As Meredith defends herself, a car screeches up outside the window where they're talking. There's a bang as it hits the curb, and a young man staggers out, his groin entirely covered in blood, and collapses. Meredith calls for security, and as he's taken inside, Bailey comes up and asks what's going on. When she takes a look under the sheet, she orders Meredith to call the Chief "and let him know we've got the rapist."
In the OR, Meredith and Christina watch the surgery from afar and discuss how he beat up Allison. Bailey quizzes them about why they're not trying to reattach his penis. I guess, aside from the fact that he seems to have lost the privilege to own one, at this point. The tear from the teeth isn't a clean cut, so it makes it impossible to reattach. Meredith adds, "Besides, the digestive juices didn't leave much of the flesh to work with." My momentary hunger from earlier is now gone in a flash. Bailey asks what they do, and Cristina answers, "Sew him up, minus a large part of the family jewels." Bailey asks about his outlook. Meredith takes this one. "He'll be urinating out of a bag for a very, very long time." Cristina helpfully adds, "Not to mention he'll never be able to have sex again." They lament, and Bailey tells the room, "Let's all take a moment to grieve." And there you have it in a sentence, ladies and gents. That brilliant line and delivery embodies why I adore Dr. Bailey oh so much.
Richard comes out of another OR, and Burke is waiting for him. Making conversation, he mentions the rapist. Burke is there for another reason, and finally says, "Why." Richard makes sure he really wants to know, and Burke tells him, "I want to know when you stopped thinking of me as your number one." He begins to defend himself again by listing how much he does when Richard corrects him, "You only do as much as is necessary. You never take an extra step, you never give an extra minute. You're comfortable. And arrogant. And it doesn't impress me. You want to be chief? Earn it." So what he's saying, then, is that in terms of pieces of flair, Burke is only displaying the minimum number of buttons. Upon hearing this, Burke is entirely deflated. He sees Meredith come out of surgery with the rapist, and looks away.
McDreamy has his own troubles, and is clearly more bothered by Allison's plight than usual; he sits in her room to her still form. Izzie rounds out the defeated bunch when Mrs. Lu finally gives up trying to get a message through to Izzie, thanks her, and leaves.
In the Hallway of Abandoned Beds and Dejected Interns, they all gather to bitch and moan about their respective days. George yells at them, "At least you're helping people!" He seems to be crushed by having to declare so many deaths that day. Alex, though, is jealous: "At least you're practicing freaking medicine." Izzie relays the story of Mrs. Lu, and Cristina is characteristically unsympathetic. Meredith arrives for the pity party holding the Telltale Cooler. She trumps them all by reporting that the cops aren't coming until the day. "So I have to spend the night with a penis." Alex turns his head to look at her and she forbids him from saying anything. Shot down, he covers, "Oh, it was too easy, anyway." It's alarming to find out just how similar my sense of humor is to Alex's, it really is. George flops onto one of the beds and asks, "Who here feels like they have no idea what they're doing?" Everyone but Alex raises their hands dejectedly. George wants to actually learn something, Izzie wants sleep, and Cristina hates that it feels like it's them versus the Residents and Attendings who are actually surgeons. Alex sums it up with a concise "I hate being an intern." At that moment, Bailey walks in and finds all of them, and with one raise of her hands in the universal "What are you doing?" gesture, she scatters them. She steals a forgotten bag of chips and relaxes to munch.
Meredith can't stay away from the nursery, and sees the parents of Blueberry watching him through the window. She introduces herself, and then from behind the glass, her Intern Nemesis sees her and goes for backup, sticking her head out the door to tell Meredith, "You are SO out of line." Cutting back to her conversation with the parents, the dad is now worried that it might not be benign. A mighty angry doctor storms up to the conversation. The parents are adamant, saying, "If our baby is sick, we want him treated. Now." Doctor Angry asks who told them their baby was sick in the first place, and they ID Meredith. Just as the shit begins to fly in the direction of the fan, Burke walks up behind her and tells them that he authorized further testing. The doctors and their interns step aside, and Intern Nemesis asserts that nothing is wrong with the baby. But she admits to only being 75% sure, once pressed by Burke. He declares, "Not good enough. He's my patient now. That okay with you, Dr. Angry?" (Okay, okay, he said his real name, which I for the life of me and repeated rewinding could never be quite sure of, though it might be Dr. Gaye.) Dr. Angry is remarkably fine with it, despite the attractive protesting of his intern, who mutters, "He can't take our patient." Dr. Angry tells her, "He's an Attending." For good measure, Burke adds, "That means I can do whatever I want." Whatever you need to get your mojo back, Burke. He introduces himself to the parents and then instructs Meredith to have the tests done immediately. "I don't have all day," he says. "You're a busy man," she says with a smile in her voice. "I'm a busy man," he says, equally pleased.
Izzie is at the end of her sutures shift when she sees Mrs. Lu back in the hallway. The woman turns and runs outside and Izzie follows her, where Mrs. Lu turns and motions to her to follow into the pouring rain. Izzie does, and when she catches up to her behind a dumpster, finds her there with a younger woman with a horrific wound on her forehead. Izzie tells them immediately that she'll help and things will be okay. It turns out the younger woman speaks English and tells Izzie a factory at the machine broke. Relieved that they can communicate, Izzie tells her to come inside, but the two Chinese women begin to panic. While Mrs. Lu is legal, the younger woman is not and won't risk going to jail. Despite Izzie's promises that they will keep quiet, the younger woman panics at the thought and refuses to budge. Making a quick decision, Izzie tells them to wait and she'll be right back.
Back inside, Burke reports to Meredith that Baby Blueberry does in fact have a birth defect. She was right, and they'll operate the day. But when she thanks Burke for backing her, he puts on the brakes to her joy. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. You were right. But if you ever pull a stunt like that again, going to the parents behind a doctor's back, trying to steal a patient from another service, I will make your residency here hell on earth." He then goes to greet the parents, and it seems that despite the lecture, Meredith is just happy to have helped the baby; she goes off, smiling.
Catching up with the others: A much less happy, more nervous George is still leading the code team. Cristina is still dodging hugs. Izzie sneaks into a supply closet and begins loading supplies into her pockets. Derek does paperwork and monitors Allison. Finally, an upset George has to call yet another death.
In the shadow of the dumpster, but at least with the rain having stopped, Izzie finishes up the girl and puts a gigantic bandage on her forehead. She warns that she might have a scar since she didn't do her best work in the semi-dark in the parking lot. The young woman, however, is just happy and relieved, and very thankful. Izzie tells her to come back in five days and she'll meet them outside to check on her. She warns them not to let anyone know what she did since she could lose her license, but considering where the women were coming from, I think this is a television secret that might actually stay secret. As she cleans up, a grateful Mrs. Lu runs back to her, clearly thanking her profusely. Izzie looks pleased to have really helped.
Bailey and Burke are hanging out inside, and Burke asks if she thinks he's too confident. Bailey gives a quick "no." He knows she's lying, but she points out, "You are my boss." His ego already bruised and needing to know the truth, he gives her a 30-second pass to say anything she wants. Bailey winds up. "I think you're cocky, arrogant, bossy, and pushy, you also have a god complex, you never think about anybody but your damn self." He starts to look perplexed, this maybe being a little more than he expected. He tries to interrupt, "But I... " Bailey cuts him off. "'But' what. I still have 22 more seconds. I'm not done." He looks decidedly put in his place.
During another intern bitchfest, this time in the locker room, George moans about losing five patients. "I feel like the angel of death." Cristina's not doling out any sympathy, just telling him that 95% of the codes are basically dead anyway and have no hope of being revived. George is completely aghast that no one told him this. I'm curious how he got through medical school without knowing, since it seems kind of like an important fact. Regardless, he demands to know why she didn't tell him this while he was flaunting his job that morning. "Because," she says, "you're George, and I'm Cristina." Well... you can't argue that. It's a reasonable explanation. George, who's been chewing on a toothpick, suddenly is pick-less in a little editing blip. Well, hopefully it's a blip and he didn't swallow it in his indignation.
Meredith sits cradling the Penis Cooler in a rocking chair while Nemesis Intern tends to the baby. As she reaches into the incubator she says, less aggressive than she's been all day, "I really did think I was right, you know." Meredith does know, and clearly understands and isn't lording it over her. It turns out some people really can put animosity aside when, say, the life of an infant is at stake. She tells NI, "We almost never are. We're interns. We're not supposed to be right. And when we are, it's completely shocking." And there you go, folks -- the latest ad campaign to get your ailments treated at a teaching hospital. NI asks Meredith if she feels... and before she can, Meredith finishes for her: "Terrified. 100% of the time." NI smiles at her and says, "Good, it's not just me." "No," Meredith agrees.
Meredith checks on Allison, where a glum McDreamy reports no change in her condition. He tells her that he's got four sisters of his own, and if he were in this situation, they'd all be there with him, and he'd want that. "Having no one? I can't imagine that." Meredith tells him she can, but not having any real idea of what's going on with her family, he tells her that her mom would absolutely be there, "flying these cowboys in from Prague to do amazing medical procedures." Her mom really is regarded as a romantic, epic figure in medical circles. She wistfully agrees, "That's true, I do have my mother." He doesn't notice her tone. Fortunately, he has something more fun to talk about, namely the elevator smooching. He asks about why they're kissing but not dating, assuring her, "Don't get me wrong, I like kissing. I'm all for the kissing. More kissing, I say." Well yeah, cheers to more kissing! I say. She doesn't know what came over her, and he continues to tease flirtingly, "Is it going to happen again? Because if it is I'm gong to have to bring breath mints." He adds in a tiny whisper, "Put a condom in my wallet." Excuse me while I take a break from typing to fan myself -- it's gotten a little bit warm in here.
Okay, cooled off. Meredith tells him to shut up, and he laughs. She mentions the baby. "He's brand-new. No one's neglected him or damaged him yet. How do we get from there to here? She's wearing my shoes and someone's beat the crap out of her. And she's got nobody." At hearing this, the core of Meredith's bad day, he's sufficiently brought down. Allison's monitors starts beeping, and when McDreamy rushes in to assess her, he immediately orders an OR for a craniotomy.
Post-surgery, he's agitated. "I had to leave her skull flap off until the pressure in her brain goes down." Meredith thinks she's not going to make it, but Derek says she'll be fine. "If she ever wakes up," she adds. He has to concede the point. "If she ever wakes up." Leaving a poor girl's skull flap open really does water down the sexual tension.
The morning, still at the hospital, Derek asks Burke to go get the drink Burke had asked about earlier. Burke puts him off, but after he persists, Burke tells him, "Shepherd, you should know that Richard promised Chief to both of us." When McDreamy nods, Burke realizes he knew all along. McDreamy just smiles and tells him, "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." This seems to make Burke feel better about the whole thing, and he corrects, "You're not the enemy. You're just the competition."
In the Chief's office, Meredith finally gets to relinquish custody of the wayward appendage. As they sign the papers, the Chief realizes that he can't utter the word "penis" around her since he once changed her diapers. I'd mock, but it's true.
Burke works on the baby and tells Meredith to scrub in so she can hold the clamp. Meredith can't believe it, and he warns her, "Don't make me change my mind." As Keane plays, thereby making me emotional because you could play "Somewhere Only We Know" over a nature video of hippos and I'd still find something sentimental and romantic about it, Derek wakes up the rapist by banging into his bed. He loudly declares, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, Dr. Bailey stopped your bleeding. The bad news is, we've given your penis to the cops. Have a nice life." The rapist realizes he's handcuffed to the bed. McDreamy being hostile and protective with a really bad man only makes me love him more with this song playing.
Alex and Cristina deliver another good test result, but she slyly shoves Alex into the path of a grateful relative and he's enveloped in a hug. Meredith helps with the tiny surgery and VOs, "At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made." While she stares at the recovering infant, she relents and declares, "Okay, fine, George and Izzie, you can move into the house." George says he can't believe she caved, and the two of them cheer and dance like lunatics. Meredith agrees, "I can't believe I caved." Cristina declares, "I blame the babies. They make you toxic." The VO continues, "So, you can waste your life drawing lines, or you can live your life, crossing them." Derek sees Allison wake up, and gently welcomes her back to the cruel world.
As Meredith waits for the elevator in her street clothes, Derek joins her. He tells her, "So, this is intense, this thing I have. For ferry boats, I mean." McDreamy, for the last time -- comparing a girl to a barge isn't polite. Meredith VOs that some lines are too dangerous to cross, and, giggling, tells him she's taking the stairs. He pities her lack of self-control. Don't worry, dude, that flirty giggle combined with your irresistible good looks means her resolve can't last long. She chases her friends and new roommates out into the parking lot and finishes, "Here's what I know. If you're willing to take the chance, the view from the other side is spectacular." Actually, Meredith, the view of you from the other side isn't my favorite because your legs are so thin, but I'll take the view from the other side of McDreamy, any day.