By Lauren S
A few weeks into their hospital ownership, the Grey + Sloan Memorial Hospital board is ready to reopen the newly redesigned ER which now features a fancy space-age x-ray machine that can take scans and bake cookies in under a minute. Owen, April, Jackson and the interns are all salivating to use it, but of course they don't get a chance for most of the day. Only one scary emergent patient is brought in after an ATV accident and she's in such bad shape she needs to go straight to surgery. Her dad turns out to be terrifying and only gets meaner and meaner each time Smash tries to give him an update on the girl's surgery. After it's over, Derek goes out with Smash and winds up having to practically tackle the guy to calm him down, and we all learn a lesson about trying to be Zen but doing what needs to be done, or something like that.
Derek is also trying to be Zen about dealing with Meredith, whose way of handling her pregnancy fears is to assume and vocalize all possible worst-case scenarios about the baby. Her patient is a super sweet teacher; Mere thought she had gallstones but in surgery realized she actually has super advanced cancer. The woman is devastated and doesn't want to see her students because she can't bear to face them with the news. But when they show up in a giant group, she decides to let them visit and then carefully starts to prepare them for the fact that she won't be returning to school. That evening, Derek tells Mere she has to stop voicing all of these potential horror scenarios because he can't deal, and he has her face her fears and go get an ultrasound where they find out the baby is a boy, and he's doing great.
Alex has a young cancer patient who coincidentally also has a crush on Princess, so they decide to start pranking big-armed Jason because they are both jealous. Richard catches on to their grade-school antics but just when you think he's going to chastise Alex he instead tells him to up his game. This includes getting Jason to give a urine sample to Bailey which she most certainly does not want. Jason finally realizes who is behind it and though Alex says it was all because of his patient's crush, Jason realizes that Alex has got it bad for Princess and gets the last laugh by rubbing Alex's face in how Jason will be banging her in the bathroom at Joe's later. Stay classy, boys.
Arizona continues to improve to the point where she gets herself a high-heel-capable prosthetic, and she's also feeling good enough to finally promise Callie a night of sex. After a few hours of walking on the leg, though, she gets super sore and Callie realizes that once again nothing is going to happen. She's also annoyed because Arizona still won't let her have anything to do with the actual medical aspects of her condition. But when Callie finds her hiding out in pain, she finally forces Arizona to let her take a look on account of her being an orthopedic surgeon and she pretty quickly realizes it's soreness in her leg and nothing to do with the fit of the prosthetic. She gives Arizona a massage that seems to break down the last of the barriers between the two and that night they finally get down to some super sexy times.
April is frustrated because she's not having sexy times with Matthew, which is what she thought she wanted but since she knows what sex is like now she's having a hard time going without. She spends a lot of time comparing her not-sex life to the woefully unused fancy x-ray machine. But at the end of the day a patient is brought in after some sort of crash and everyone watches in joy as the machine does its thing; Owen comments that it was worth the wait and April seems to apply this to herself and calm down for now.
Bailey spends the day running around after the various board members, trying to pitch them on the gene mapping research she wants to do. They all keep putting her off until she's able to corner Mere and Cristina, and once they hear her out they seem kind of interested. They are both still a little bit uncomfortable with having to make all of the hospital's financial decisions and it's not helped when Cristina does a crazy cutting-edge surgery with Jeff only to find out later that he was just pitching her for money and not actually wanting her help. They are able to shift the budget around and give Bailey the money she needs and we find out that they got the money by taking it away from Jeff. He's livid but Cristina cheerfully tells him that she's going to be his assistant to make up for the few that will have to be cut, which ultimately makes everyone happy again because he still gets to do the phase of his trial while she gets to practice cutting-edge medicine once again rather than just crunch numbers.