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So even though Alex knows that James Remar is his dad, he doesn't want to actually talk to him or re-introduce himself. Princess is James' doctor and when James expresses one bit of regret for letting down everyone in his life she becomes adamant that Alex have a heart-to-heart with the guy. Alex has zero interest in this, but Princess is making it all about herself since she never had a father, and she's imaging some big, beautiful, transformative reunion, I guess. She winds up going above and beyond trying to get him into rehab, despite the fact that he can't afford it and also isn't super interested. James also finds it kind of weird that she's so invested, but he just chalks it up to her being young and overeager because who could guess the reality of the situation? She does eventually score James 28 days in a facility, and when he tries to bolt she talks him into staying and going to rehab because she's just that good. Alex winds up in an elevator with him and keeps shooting him sideways glances like he's finally considering talking to him, but ultimately keeps his mouth shut for now.
Mere and Derek are finally going back to work, though Mere is adamant about being home on time so that she can have a princess tea party with Zola. Cristina has a heart/liver transplant scheduled for a patient Mere worked with before her maternity leave, and Mere talks Cristina into dumping Bailey and letting her do the liver portion of the surgery. At the same time, Derek is doing some fancy brain surgery for a bunch of fancy visiting neurosurgeons so he's in the OR all day out of contact. Zola ends up bumping her head in daycare and needing a couple of stitches, Mere rushes to be with her since Derek is tied up, and since she is gone when Cristina needs to start the surgery (and also had been too busy with various family matters to do all of the prep Cristina had requested, Cristina re-hires Bailey to do it. Afterward the two of them get in a big fight when Mere says she's just as good a surgeon as Cristina, but Cristina counters that she's not because she chose to slow down so that she could focus on her family. She is quick to point out that she totally supports that choice, but that it has put them in different places now. This then leads to Mere yelling at Derek later for not answering his phone, and sets us up for a whole lot of angst on her part as she potentially tries to be everything to everyone to prove Cristina wrong.
Mere and Derek are also in for quite a change, because Callie finally moves out. She and Owen (who is apparently dating Emma now, though we don't see her this week) have a patient who, they discover, needs a kidney. The patient's sister is there and it turns out she was a donor baby, born because her older sister was diagnosed with cancer as a small child. Her sister eventually went into remission and became a daredevil so the poor girl has given marrow, part of her liver, a number of other bits and pieces, and pretty much her life in general and hasn't ever been able to do anything for herself. Callie coaches her that she can learn to say no, and she seems to give the girl an epiphany, though later she does offer to donate her kidney after all. But Callie takes her own advice to heart and tells Arizona she wants the apartment back. That night, after putting Sofia to bed, she sees her iPhone and decides it's time to finally dance in her underwear again, and it's awesome. Arizona, for her part, finds Leah being super nice to her and fears that they might have Done Something the night of the gala. Eventually, she just learns that Leah went to check on her since she was so drunk, and then took her inside and made grilled cheese sandwiches and they had a nice time hanging out and watching surgery videos… which Arizona doesn't remember at all. But Leah offers that Arizona can move in with her, and maybe also is kind of flirting? That part is a little unclear, as is if Arizona actually moves in or not.
Catherine has come back to town to check on Richard, and finds that he's not recovering as quickly as she would like. The reason for this is basically that Bailey won't be stern enough, and all of the interns are too scared of him to really treat him like a regular patient. She tells Richard she wants to take him home with her, presumably so that he will get better care. Eventually, when Leah comes in with some so-so test results, Richard orders her to examine him like a regular patient, and then coaches her through what she needs to do to treat him. He tells Catherine that he's going to stay and that the interns will learn from this and will take good care of him.
Jackson has decided to finally introduce Stephanie to his mom while she's in town this time, and Stephanie picks out a special blouse and everything so that she'll make a good impression. Unfortunately she's not really in said blouse when Catherine walks in on them getting busy in the on-call room. She immediately writes Steph off as a gold digger, and Jackson won't really stand up to his mom because, he insists, if he tries to argue about how great Stephanie is it will only turn his mom off more. It's hard to imagine that, though, because she loathes Stephanie and things only get worse when Stephanie needs a urology consult and Catherine just so happens to be the only urologist in the vicinity of the hospital. But that night at Joe's, Stephanie sees Catherine sitting alone and goes over to give a speech about how much she likes Jackson and respects Catherine, etc., and that finally seems to win Mom over… at least for the night.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Four days into being back at work, Mere and Derek can barely peel themselves out of bed in the morning, but they still have Callie there helping out and making coffee, and they figure that is the only way that they are surviving. Once they are up, the three of them work together to get the kids up, fed, and ready to go, and Mere VO's that being a surgeon is a commitment, because it requires the most focus and dedication of any specialty… except, possibly, for being a mom. Mere tells Zola that she will pick her up from work and then they are going to have a princess tea party and as Derek gets her out the door and kisses Mere, she stops to congratulate all of them at being very good at this routine. Callie calls after Mere and then hands her the breast pump that she forgot and as she takes it, Mere kisses Callie too. Both pause, a little confused about what just transpired, and Callie admits they might actually be TOO good at playing house like this.
It's very convenient that James Remar's character name is also James, though he tells Princess flirtatiously that she should call him Jimmy, and lop a few years off of his age to put him back in his 40's. Cristina tells him he's going to do a treadmill test so they can see how his new valve is holding up, but just then she gets a page that there might be an organ available for one of her transplant patients. Princess is put in charge of the test.
It seems that no one but she and Alex know James' secret identity, James included. Princess insists on calling him, "your dad" but Alex tells her to cut it out and adds that he took his mom's last name specifically so he'd have no connection to James whatsoever. Princess does not want to let it go, though, and whines that Alex should re-introduce himself because, after all, he changed, so maybe his dad did too. I'm not sure this is the best idea and neither does Alex, who pointed out that the last time he saw his father he was punching him so hard he could have killed him, and he's worried that he could easily wind up picking up where he left off so many years ago.
Mere hears about Cristina's heart/liver transplant and excitedly reminds her that the patient, Samantha, was Mere's patient before she went on leave and Mere was the one who diagnosed what sounds like a rare liver condition. Cristina is surprised to hear that Mere wants in on the transplant, while Mere gets extremely touchy that Cristina didn't think of her immediately. Cristina thought Mere would want to ease back into surgery but Mere insists that she's someone who jumps in the deep end, so Cristina starts to consider the idea. She asks Mere if she read a particular article on simultaneous heart/liver transplants blah medicalese fancy procedure blah, but Mere didn't and asks if it is different from a regular old heart/liver transplant. Cristina just gives her a look and Mere immediately agrees to read it. Bailey then walks up, all excited because Cristina had paged her to do the liver portion of the surgery, but Cristina tells her she doesn't need her any more. Bailey is thoroughly miffed at Mere for stealing the surgery, but Mere just sing-songs that she named her son after Bailey, so Bailey can't be mad at her. Bailey did not get that memo, and just charges that Lil' B, "drinks the milk of a liver thief!"
Leah, with a decidedly different attitude than last time we saw her, demanding respect, walks up to April and Arizona and then hands Arizona a "no one ever brings someone coffee here without wanting something in return," coffee. The A's are both quite surprised about it and after Leah leaves, Arizona racks her brain to try and figure out what might have inspired it. She suddenly looks horrified, and admits that she might have done something the night of the gala -- she has a vague memory of Leah in her kitchen that night and now Leah's being all friendly. Ah, so it's a "thank you for something that may or may not be sex and I want to stay in your good graces" coffee, the cousin to the first variety. Arizona can't offer any help since she just remembers waking up in her bathtub in Spanx.
Once April leaves, Callie walks by and Arizona calls after her to hand her the mortgage slip for the apartment. When Callie isn't sufficiently thankful, Arizona gripes, "You're welcome," which fires Callie up and she turns around and walks back asking if she's really supposed to thank her for bringing her the slip to her own apartment that Arizona is currently living in alone? Arizona starts to respond to the rhetorical question, presumably to point out that this is Callie's choice, but Callie cuts her off when she opens her mouth to add that she doesn't want to live in the apartment with her cheating wife.
Stephanie finds Jackson in an on-call room -- amazingly, he appears to actually be sleeping as the room was intended, which very well might be a first for that bed. She's got on an ultra-respectable, boring green blouse with a ruffle at the collar that she has picked out specifically to meet Catherine so that she makes a good impression. She wants Catherine to know that she's not a gold digger but rather an awesome surgeon in her own right. Jackson pulls her over to him and reassures her that Catherine is going to love her. Has Jackson MET his mother? He gives Stephanie a kiss but she pulls away and tells him they can't do that here, because they aren't Those People. Jackson agrees, but kisses her anyway.
Callie finds Owen in the lounge with some homemade banana bread and descends on it like a lion on a gazelle. She explains that she was too busy getting her new extended family out the door to feed herself, adding that they are all basically in a relationship now -- she thought she might dance in her underwear but instead she rebounded to the McDreamys. Both of them then get paged for a "hang glider trauma," but as they go Callie asks about the bread and Owen tells her that Emma of the Discount Shoes made it. Callie is intrigued, and opines that Owen is now rebounding too.
They join April to help out with hang-gliding patient Reese, who bashed a giant hole in her leg. Reese's sister Donna is there too and the two of them bicker about Donna acting like her mom. It turns out that Reese has gotten hurt quite a lot doing this kind of thing, and Callie finds a rod in her leg that was put in months earlier after she had a heli-skiing mishap in New Zealand. Reese just tells them that she is making up for lost time, though we don't know yet what that actually means.
Catherine is in Richard's room and Bailey has him show off how he can slowly get out of bed and over to the chair by himself. He's very slow and it looks ridiculously painful, but he can do it. Bailey is totally being a cheerleader and Catherine adds that he'll be doing laps in a week. Smash and Leah come in and hover tentatively in the doorway, saying that they came to check on his low drain output but that they can come back later if now isn't a good time. Catherine tells them it's a great time because she wants to talk to Bailey in the hall, and then the interns hover some more, staring, until Richard points out that he could use some help getting back into bed.
Outside, Catherine's cheery mood is gone and she tells Bailey she was expecting him to be doing better than this. Bailey points out that two days earlier he couldn't sit up, but it sounds like she's trying to avoid really answering the question. Both ladies realize that he is depressed but Bailey tells Catherine that he refuses to try antidepressants and that he just needs time and support, as well as more pillows so that he can sit up comfortably. Catherine apologizes and tells Bailey she has done so much, which is quite a change in tune from her last trip, and it's a relief to see them getting along better. She offers to go find some pillows herself.
And if you were looking for pillows in a hospital, why look in a supply closet with linens when you can grab some off of the bed in an on-call room, causing you to walk in on your son and his girlfriend in bed with her respectable blouse nearly pulled off? The two jump up in horror, and Catherine icily tells Jackson to introduce them. He does, and Catherine asks her for the pillows off of the top bunk. Seriously, this is so contrived; it's so gross to think that Richard would ever be getting possibly-used pillows from a sex den. At least they aren't the ones that Jackson and Steph were just cavorting on. Stephanie hands her the pillows and Catherine just harrumphs in return and leaves, slamming the door. Stephanie points out that she doesn't think Catherine liked her shirt, while Jackson can only nod.
Jackson runs after her all the way into Richard's room but Catherine has already worked up a head of steam and a strong dislike of Stephanie. Jackson argues that he meant to lock the door, and then realizes where he is and asks Richard how he is doing. Catherine spits that he's a mess, then points out the shoddy job someone did taping his IV. Both Richard and Jackson are powerless against her annoyance as she rails about Stephanie and how she's clearly incompetent. She adds that she's not being a prude, she likes sex as much as the person! Poor Jackson wishes the floor would swallow him up at that point. Richard points out helpfully that Jackson said he meant to lock the door, but Catherine ignores any of the protests and continues to rail against Richard's care and Stephanie's breasts. Jackson finally flees, realizing he won't get anywhere with his mom at the moment.
Mere, Cristina and Smash go in to visit their transplant patient, and she's thrilled to see Mere and hear about the baby. She's also thrilled at the idea that after her surgery, she will be able to actually get excited about things again, and maybe even have a baby like Mere. Smash adds helpfully, "Or be a groundbreaking surgeon like Dr. Yang!" After a very uncomfortable moment in which Smash seems to have no idea what he just said, Mere adds that she is a surgeon too. Cristina tries to smooth things over by saying that Mere does it all, and Sam and Mere talk about how it's a wonder Mere handles everything. Finally, Mere realizes Cristina is staring at her, and eventually Cristina has to ask if she's going to actually examine the patient. So, maybe Mere isn't quite doing it all entirely the way she thinks she is.
Stephanie gets to work and meets a patient, Mr. Samuels, who hasn't been able to pee since the day before. She takes a peek under the sheet and recoils a moment before commenting that his penis is quite swollen. The sweaty, nervous Mr. Samuels says it was a bug bite, and then amends that to a bee sting. As Stephanie asks questions he starts to build a story about how he made a peanut butter and honey sandwich in the backyard and then took his pants off to eat it. He claims to have fallen asleep, dripped honey on his nethers, and then woke up to find bees attacking him. Stephanie is confused and a little bit disbelieving, but she goes to get him medicine and a catheter. As she goes, he calls out after her that they might have actually been hornets. It was at this point that I thought he actually was getting kinky and made a honey and… hmm… sausage sandwich in the backyard.
Mere finds Derek entertaining a bunch of suits in the conference room, appearing to be just as smooth as he was at the gala. She waves him out and then excitedly tells her about her transplant surgery and asks if he can pick up the kids. Derek is all tied up entertaining all of these visiting surgeons, doing a procedure and then a Q and A session afterward. Mere reminds him that she promised Zola a tea party, so Derek suggests Callie. Mere is getting more and more upset at his suggestions, reminding him that the tea party is to let Zola know that she hasn't been replaced by her brother or, for that matter, a cool surgery. Derek says something I never quite figured out, but I think he thinks Mere might be a little bit too invested in this tea party, and Mere finally says she'll ask Callie to do it.
James is walking on the treadmill while Princess monitors his vitals, and he tells her that he's missed out on some gigs so he's hoping to get out of the hospital so he can play that night. She asks him not-so-slyly if he has any family to come pick him up, but he says he's good. She then asks him about rehab and when he tries to pass his use off as recreational, she points out all of his tracks and the fact that they could barely find a usable vein tell a very different story and she knows what he's going to get up to when he leaves. James insists he has family, but she counters that she doesn't think he does, or maybe he did but she thinks he's on his own now. She could teach a master class in doing everything one can to give away a giant secret pretty obviously without having to say the words. James is getting pretty annoyed by now but he keeps a half-smile on his face and is still trying to stay charming while he grits his teeth. He points out that as a blues guitarist he doesn't have the money to go to a good rehab, so Princess begs him to let her make some calls. He finally gives in, only because he has no other choice since he's all wired up to a treadmill. Princess tells him with a smile that she's not going anywhere either, already trying to win daughter-in-law points even though James doesn't realize what important role he plays in this scenario.
Mere and Cristina are both staring at their phones desperately -- Cristina waiting for the organ team and Mere waiting for Callie to get back about the tea party. Cristina is excited to get a message that they are about to open up the organ donor. Smash comes by and Mere orders him to go ask Callie if she'll pick up the kids and have the princess tea party. Cristina tells Mere that this is pretty cool, and Mere just assumes she's talking about the tea party idea and explains it some more. But what Cristina was talking about is how they are about to do groundbreaking surgery together, which was what their goal was when they started out. Unspoken is the very clear point that their priorities are now a little bit different. Mere does of course agree that it is cool but Cristina realizes that she's holding her boobs and sends her off to go pump before she explodes.
Callie goes out to talk to Donna about her sister, and Donna wants to know the worst-case scenario right off the bat, which would be Reese losing her kidney (she already lost the other one heli-skiing) and needing a donor. Donna lets out a bit of a hysterical giggle, and with tears in her eyes tells Callie that she's the donor. Callie realizes she's been through something like this before, and Donna says that she's given everything -- bone marrow, blood, part of her liver… and hey, now a kidney. Callie makes a comment about Reese being accident-prone and finally Donna explains the whole story: Reese was diagnosed with aplastic anemia when she was two years old, so her parents decided to have Donna as a donor baby to try and save her sister. This has obviously done a number on Donna's psyche, as she seems to feel that she's still obligated to be spare parts.
Princess joins Stephanie to take a gander at the gigantic penis, and finds that her friend is having trouble getting the catheter in because of the swelling. She tried calling urology but they are dealing with an emergency and the backup doc is 20 minutes away. However, Samuels is clearly not going to make it that long. But what if there was possibly another urologist within range…
…like Catherine Avery! Stephanie walks into Richard's room but Catherine tells her to not even try to get on her good side since nothing will work. Especially, as it turns out, blurting, "I've got a giant penis." Even sick, tired Richard raises an eyebrow at this while Stephanie stutters a clarification and then struggles to get out anything resembling a complete, intelligent sentence. She finally manages, "You make me nervous. I need a consult." Richard obviously is pretty depressed because he'd be far more entertained by this if he weren't dealing with healing his crispy innards.
As Callie, Owen and April begin Reese's surgery, Callie finds a lot of bleeding and warns them they will be there a while. She then teases Owen about Emma, and while he denies that she is his girlfriend, Callie points out that she baked him banana bread and took it to him at work, which is hardcore girlfriend behavior. That is very true, but do we know she delivered it to the hospital for him? I guess she must have because Owen doesn't deny it. He's not happy when April chimes in that Matthew brought her breakfast burritos and now they are getting married. The talk then turns to Reese and Donna, since it looks likely she's going to lose the kidney; when Owen asks if Donna's ready to donate one Callie points out that she seems unable to say no. Smash then runs in to ask about the princess tea party, but Callie will be stuck in surgery though she says she can pick the kids up a few hours later. Owen points out that Callie might have her own problem saying no and Callie considers this, and wonders out loud if she should kick Arizona out of the apartment and move back in. April yelps at this idea and points out all of the reasons why the place is so good for Arizona, and then drops her head like a disciplined puppy when Callie gives her a look of death. April is saved when things start to go to hell with Reese's kidney.
Alex is struggling to make coffee while Jackson complains about his woman problems, adding that he thinks that his mom would actually really like Stephanie. Mere is in there pumping under a blanket and reading Cristina's recommended article, and she points out what I think all of us (well, me, at least) were thinking, which is that he should stand up for his girlfriend. But Jackson insists that would just make his mom hate her even more; he compares it to walking into a hornets' nest and he needs to just stay still and let the frenzy die down. Which I'm guessing is not what Mr. Samuels did with his own hornet situation. Alex is in a tizzy over his dad and taking it out on the broken coffeemaker and finally storms out, with Jackson leaving too as Bailey walks in and tries to ignore Meredith. Smash comes in and freaks out even though Mere is as covered up as a nun, and relays Callie's message with his back to the room. Cristina then walks in and announces that the organs are ready, so they can go tell Sam she's getting new parts soon. I hate scenes like this, in which everyone does a lot of talking to advance lots of different parts of the story but which wind up just being boring and talky and clunky. Will no one think of the recappers?? Yikes. Okay, let's try and finish up this revolving door of a scene. Mere tells Cristina she needs ten more minutes, which Cristina grants although she seems to maybe be getting a little bit irritated. She then freaks out about Zola's tea party because tea time is at 4 and right now, they are totally going to miss that. Smash leaves, and Bailey softens her attitude towards the liver thief and tells her that there will be other tea parties. Mere is just super freaked out that if she has that attitude now, she'll start to break more and more promises and turn Zola into a troubled teenager. Bailey seems to feel sorry for her and offers advice on pumping faster (do both sides at once) and then offers to quiz Mere on the material she's been reading. Mere is surprised, but happily accepts the offer.
Arizona and Derek are doing their surgery for the visiting surgeons, or rather Arizona is doing the procedure and Derek is charmingly walking them through the steps, ever the professional schmoozer. Leah then comes in, all excited, but Arizona is freaked out to see her there and it only worsens when Leah claims that Arizona told her she could scrub in the night they hung out at her apartment. She then adds that the night was so fun, and don't worry, she won't tell anyone. I don't for a second believe they slept together and think that line is a red herring, but it's a super awkward, smelly, decaying one. I guess yes, one is an attending and the other is an intern so a friendship wouldn’t be encouraged, but there's just no reason to deliver that sentence in such a saucy and conspiratorial tone. Arizona can't handle it and tells Leah she'd help more by checking on their other patients so Leah leaves, totally confused and deflated.
Princess finds Alex caring for a baby and I'm reminded just how adorable he is when he drops his protective attitude and coos at an infant. She gives him exaggerated puppy dog eyes (which he calls a "dog face," ha) and then tells Alex that his dad passed the treadmill test and Cristina wants to discharge him. Alex is glad, but finally tells Princess to just say what she wants to say. She whines that growing up as a foster kid, she invented a bunch of imaginary dads for herself and all of these fantasy scenarios of the fun things they would do together, and then points out that Alex actually has a dad there LIKE SHE DIDN’T. Alex reminds her that he's aware, and his father is an asshole, which isn't something he made up. Seriously, he probably had some of the same secret scenarios built up in his own head at some point. He tells Princess to discharge James as she was told, but she has a scheming look on his face because she apparently has never actually absorbed a word Alex said about his dad and his upbringing and think that they could have some beautiful reunion and functional, happy relationship from here on out as so often happens.
When Catherine arrives to see Samuels, Steph tells her his odd story and Catherine doesn't even try to hide her giant eye rolls before marching over and asking Samuels if he put his penis in a hornets' nest. Samuels says no, but he learns that it's basically impossible to lie to Catherine Avery when she's staring at you like that, and eventually caves and admits that he did. Catherine then points out that they'll have to go directly into his bladder, which Stephanie should have known and she hopes it's not too late. Stephanie asks what they could be too late for, and it's at that moment that Samuels' bladder explodes and he starts moaning in even more pain. Catherine spits at her to book an OR and have Hunt give her privileges.
Catherine goes back to Richard's room to rant about Stephanie being an idiot because she is boy crazy, and Richard finally stands up for the girl, AHEM, JACKSON, saying she isn't dumb. Catherine changes her rant, then, to call her a strategic gold digger. While she's on a roll, she tells Richard that after her surgery she wants to talk to him about his going home with her. Leah comes to the doorway to check Richard's drain output but upon seeing the two adults she nervously says she'll come back later and sprints away. Catherine points out this stunning level of care, pointing out that everyone at the hospital both loves and fears him too much to take proper care of him. She's not actually wrong about that, at least at the moment -- even Bailey is letting Richard dictate the pace of his recovery. Catherine assumes him that she'll push him like a drill sergeant. Richard calls her over for a kiss, and she seems to realize that he's not big on the idea as she pleads with him just to think about it before she goes.
Mere is finally feeling like she has a handle on things, and thanks Bailey for helping her. Of course, the universe then comes to smite her in the form of a phone call from the daycare letting her know that Zola fell off the slide and hit her head, and she might need a few stitches. Mere starts firing panicked questions at the woman at a machine-gun pace, and fellow mom Bailey totally understands and tells her to run down there and she'll let Cristina know what's up. Mere says that Cristina should talk to Sam without her and they'll meet up in the OR.
Stephanie is all ready for her surgery and Jackson tells her that he'll be in in a little while to check on his mom's penis. Har har, that never gets old. Except when it does. Stephanie is freaking out and lamenting the fact that the elder Avery didn't pick a specialization that involved something innocuous, like hands. Jackson assures Stephanie that it will be fine, and she should just ask a bunch of medical questions and Catherine will surely forget about walking in on them half-dressed earlier. Of course they don't notice that Catherine has walked up behind them and when she greets them and comments how nice it is to see Stephanie fully dressed, Jackson realizes that no amount of hoping his mom suddenly forgets is going to make it so.
Princess saunters into James' room, all proud of herself for having scored him 28 days in rehab. She's somehow shocked to find him packing instead of falling at her feet for being an addiction recovery goddess, and insists that he has to stay because it's been arranged. James finally asks her what on earth is up, since he realizes this isn't the usual treatment for a junkie off the street. Princess whines that he said he would go if she set it up, and he's very quick to say that he is certain he didn't say that because he never makes promises because he doesn't want to set people up for disappointment. Ah, here comes his great deep moment -- he continues that making promises is how one loses their home and family, and makes their children hate them. His eyes are really haunted and James Remar sells this cheese admirably. Then, instead of telling her to stop presuming she knows his life, he adds that she's sweet and he doesn't want to let her down either. Her crazy has been dialed down a notch since we first met her, but I still don't understand why everyone finds her so great other than that we keep being told she's so. He tries to lighten the mood with a joke about what a nag Princess is, but sticks to his resolve to just leave and she is of course rather destroyed by this.
She marches out to Alex and declares that he can help, and Alex can't believe she's still at this. Do you think he's questioning his choice in girlfriends yet? Princess argues that James is clearly miserable and full of regret, and that Alex is angry like he's been his whole life and maybe talking to his dad will help that. Or maybe telling his girlfriend to actually listen to what serious issues he had with his father and how it affected his and his siblings' entire upbringing, and telling her to cut it out for good will help. And actually, that's kind of what he does -- when she pleads that James is just going to go back out and use again and probably die, Alex orders her to never talk to her about this again. Sadly you know that isn't actually going to stick. (And I love James Remar and like him so far on the show, and actually think this storyline has potential to be really interesting given Alex's history, but it's just so gross and such a double standard for Princess to be making this some great fairy tale with a happy ending, and painting Alex as someone not trying hard enough, when she's lived her life hating and distrusting everyone around her and using that as an excuse to be a bitch.)
Bailey fills Cristina in on Mere and Zola and promises that Mere will be back in time to scrub in -- unfortunately, the timeline is suddenly moved up when Sam's husband runs out to report that she's having an attack. Cristina takes one look and tells everyone that she's in heart failure, and they need to get her into the OR ASAP.
Catherine repairs Samuels' bladder and continues to snipe at Stephanie, who unfortunately has been struck with that affliction where everything she says and does is kind of dumb because she's nervous, and that keeps making the situation worse. Jackson then comes in to do his consult and motions that Stephanie should start asking questions. Stephanie does but she walks into yet another zinger from Catherine about her interest in all things penile. Jackson tries to diffuse the situation with a joke but it's about as effective as a garden hose on a forest fire.
Alex is the one treating Zola, and again he's all sweet while Zola is of course a model patient. Mere is holding her and freaks out when she gets the page that her patient is going into surgery. Alex is totally unruffled and says he can get someone else to hold Zola since the worst is over anyway, but Mere is tortured since she thinks leaving right now would be something her own mom would have done. Alex assures her that she's a good mom and he should know, given his own crappy parents; Mere thinks hard about it and continues to berate herself for possibly leaving.
Callie goes out to tell Donna that Reese is going to eventually need a kidney, and Donna tearily tells her to go ahead and open up the toolbox, then, and take what she needs. Callie points out that they don't have to do it immediately since she can go on dialysis until a donor is found and for that matter, Donna doesn't need to be that donor. Donna replies that what she needs is a life -- she didn't even learn to ride a bike as a kid because she couldn't risk getting hurt for Reese's sake. She'd also like a boyfriend, job, and a nice cruise, please. Just how much money do these sisters have, by the way, to be heli-skiing and sitting around with no job waiting to have to donate more organs? But I digress. Donna asks Callie tentatively if she can actually say no, and Callie replies that of course she can, and she should go ahead and do all of those things and cap it off by dancing in her underwear. I get that to Callie, this underwear dance means she's been freed from her emotional burdens but she talks about it so much I'm just waiting, bored, for her to get to dancing, already, since it's obviously coming. She gets Donna all fired up that she can say no, and the two of them wind up standing and gleefully yelling, "NOOO!" at the top of their lungs like happy lunatics.
When Mr. Samuels is back in his room, sleeping after his surgery, his wife runs in having just returned from out of town. When Stephanie delicately tells her he had some stings on his "groin area," Mrs. S knows exactly what he did and figures it's her fault since she saw the nest but didn't get a chance to remove it before she left town. The nurse monitoring Samuels can barely keep her eyes on her work but Stephanie is incredulous for both of them, shocked to learn he's done something like this before and his wife is full aware of his compulsion. Mrs. S explains that he loves the stings -- the "pain with his pleasure" -- but he also is embarrassed and figures he left it too long before coming to the ER because of that. Stephanie admits that she doesn't understand, and Mrs. S tells her that her husband is a wonderful person, and this insane quirk (which she doesn't understand either) is just one thing when there are 500 other things about him that are interesting and wonderful. The nurse finally whispers to Stephanie that she doesn't think that is possible. I think that maybe they should get Mr. S a little dose of therapy for that one teeny thing, given that it ultimately led to one of his organs exploding inside his body.
Mere does finally leave Zola and she sprints into the scrub room but stops short when she sees Bailey already scrubbing in. Cristina comes around the corner and explains that Bailey is doing the procedure instead of her. It's pretty obvious why since Mere can't even have this discussion without first thinking that everything Cristina says or asks is about Zola, when it's all entirely about the poor woman on the table in the OR. Cristina points out that Mere is too worried about other things; Mere denies it but when Cristina asks if she finished the article Mere just gives her a defeated look because she totally didn't have time. Cristina sternly reiterates that Bailey is doing the procedure and stresses that this is her patient, not Meredith's. Bailey says quick apology before going in while Mere just stares at the door, gobsmacked.
That evening, Leah goes back into Richard's room to actually finally check on his drain output since no one else is in there with him. She tells him that she wants to put him on antibiotics due to some of his not-great test results. Richard doesn't just go along with it, but instead asks her why he needs them; when she doesn't have a super concrete answer he orders her to just give him an actual exam like any other patient to figure out WHY he's having these funky results, adding that coddling him makes her a crappy doctor and Richard even sicker. She finally nervously does so and he asks her questions as she goes until she triumphantly calls out her diagnosis of a symptomatic pancreatic leak. Richard decides to tell her rather than wait until she realizes that this means he's in a whole lot of pain. Catherine comes to the door as he barks instructions and Leah scurries away to get what she needs, and she's thrilled to see a bit of the old Richard returning. Richard tells her that he's going to teach these kids how to be good doctors who treat him like a regular patient. She realizes that this means he's not coming back and Richard confirms, "These fools need me, Catherine." She puts on a decidedly un-Avery tone and pouts that she needs him too, but Richard has her come over so he can give her a kiss and reminds her that she already has him. Despite having just commented that he's in lots of pain, like all of these patients, he has her lay down on the bed to him which, I will tell you -- after my own surgery, I wouldn't have let George Clooney spoon with me in bed so I love that all of these couples always get all cuddly and seem to forget their bodies are knitting themselves back together.
Callie runs into Owen as she's getting ready to leave, and after some more you've got a girlfriend/she's not my girlfriend teasing, Owen tells her that Donna decided to donate a kidney to Reese. Callie's face falls that their bonding screams didn't actually help her stand up for herself.
James gets on the elevator and who should happen to be already inside but Alex, playing on his phone? Alex keeps shooting tiny glances his way and finally drops his phone in his pocket, as if he's working up his nerve to maybe say something. But as he opens his mouth, the elevator stops and James gets off with a casual, dudely, "Take it easy, man."
When Cristina gets out of surgery, Mere is waiting for her with a face like thunder. Mere says a few times that Cristina stole the surgery from her when finally Cristina snaps that Mere was unprepared, unfocused, and late so she actually rescued the surgery from her instead. This goes over like a lead balloon, and Mere snipes that she knows Cristina thinks she's a surgical genius but she's just as talented and competent. She's floored when Cristina tells her, with some regret in her voice because she knows this is going to sound mean, that she's not. Mere looks as if Cristina actually just reached out and slapped her across the face. In a more gentle tone, Cristina explains that Mere now has a family and her priorities have changed so she works fewer hours and doesn't do research and the like, and she totally supports that and thinks it's wonderful that Mere wants to be a good mom. Mere thinks Cristina is saying that she can't be both a good surgeon and mother but Cristina points out that she doesn't think that at all, using Bailey's awesomeness as an example. But she points out that the difference is that she, Callie and yes, even Ellis Grey, never let up after they had kids and Mere has. She stresses that she totally supports Mere's decision and it's a super valid life choice, but that the reality is that it affects her skills, and she and Cristina are now in different places in their careers. Mere just looks absolutely betrayed and angry with her person. Oh no, is it going to be a feud between these two that gives Cristina a reason to leave? Because these two have the best, most complex, most wonderful relationship on the show and I'll be pissed if Sandra Oh's exit is achieved by these two having some big, messy falling out.
The visiting neurosurgeons are all having drinks at Joe's, so Arizona is at the bar ordering a round when Callie comes in and tells her that she needs the apartment back. She's not mean about it, but she is matter-of-fact as she explains that she feels bad but she has to stop taking care of others. She can't help but get in a dig, pointing out that she took care of Arizona for a year and took a whole lot of abuse during that time, but Arizona isn't sick anymore, now she's just a cheater. Arizona looks like she wants to say something and defend herself but she stays silent, letting Callie get out what she needs to say. Callie admits that she fears if she waits she'll change her mind, and says she'll have an intern pack up Arizona's stuff and bring it to the hospital the day. Oh, television, you slay me. Just how little stuff does Arizona have? Because if someone were packing up and delivering my things, clothes and shoes alone could take a few trips.
Of COURSE Leah happens to be sitting right there and pipes up to say that Arizona can stay with her if she needs to. Arizona finally breaks down and asks what happened, since clearly something took place and Leah is pretty... Leah cuts her off to say that after she sent them away in a cab, she called to make sure Arizona got home and got no answer. She went to the apartment and found her passed out in the hall, so Leah got her inside, and they danced, and made grilled cheese sandwiches, and then watched videos of Derek doing the surgery he was going to do the day for the visitors. She adds that this is when Arizona invited her to watch the surgery the day. Okay, fair enough, but Leah is an adult, and certainly been around drunk people before, and shouldn't have been so surprised that maybe Arizona didn't remember what happened considering she'd had a bottle and a half of champers to herself earlier in the evening. Leah then turns all sad puppy when she adds that it was the first time she felt like she found someone at the hospital who really got her. To get over her disappointment at Arizona not really remembering anything, she asks if they can go back to the part where Arizona called her pretty. Arizona nervously takes a big swig of her martini, which might not be the best solution given how she got here in the first place.
Because there are no other bars in Seattle (says the girl who eats at her neighborhood taqueria at least three times a week) Stephanie sees Catherine sitting in a booth at Joe's and marches over, sliding in to have a quick talk. Catherine has no interest but Steph persists, and in her most mother-impressing voice tells Catherine she knows that from what she saw that morning, it appears that Stephanie has no self-respect and, like much of her generation, doesn't realize that where people have sex says a lot about what they think of themselves. No really, she had that mouthful prepared. And hey, Catherine doesn't shoo her away as Steph continues that she knows Catherine worked hard to break down barriers for women, especially women of color, and Steph's on-call hijinks might make it look like that was a wasted effort. Catherine finally looks interested. Steph probably should have planned something like this rather than the nice blouse from the get-go. Steph goes on, and then takes a cue from her hornet-sex patient's wife to say that there are 500 things more interesting about her than the fact that she started to do it in an on-call room as part of a joke about people who actually do that kind of thing. Catherine dings her for letting the patient's bladder explode, but Stephanie defends that she didn't have all of the information she needed at the time. I don't think she needed to know how the hornets stung the guy to realize that his manhood was too swollen for a catheter, but Catherine still seems to be on board. Jackson walks in and sees them, and after a moment frozen in fear he slinks over with an eyebrow raised. Stephanie starts to excuse herself but Catherine invites her to stay, so all is now well in their world.
Mere asks what a person is to do when their focus splits? Maybe they need to find a different path. Callie puts Sofia to bed and then finds a new path of her own, one that starts with her phone and earbuds sitting on the sofa. She pulls off her pants, puts in the earbuds, and with a tentative smile does one tentative little shimmy.
Derek gets home to find Mere in a complete tizzy, and she yells at him about Zola not getting her tea party, and Callie moving out and doing so when it was her turn to buy the groceries, so Mere had to feed Zola cereal for dinner. Hey, I did that last night! Don't knock it. Derek, as if facing off against an angry bear, calmly asks why she's yelling at him. She is livid because he never answered his phone, and when he points out that he was in a big surgery this just winds her up further since she had one too but she lost it. One could argue that, all Bigger Issues aside, Derek already had his hands inside his patient when Zola had her accident, so logistically of course Mere would be the first one there and of course that could affect her surgery that was about to start. But of course this is about much more than that, as Mere is having an absolute crisis about not wanting to have to choose between being a good mother and a good surgeon. Derek is quick to point out he never, ever asked her to do that, but Mere is on a roll and clearly keeps yelling as the sound fades out and her VO suggests that if you can't give 100%, maybe you have to go to the beginning and start all over again.
And that place, for Callie, is full-on rocking out in her underwear, hands thrown in the air as she rediscovers herself.
Lauren S is a writer who lives and works in Atlanta and enjoys a dance in her underwear every so often. She wants everyone to know: "The views expressed in my recaps and anything else I might write on TWoP are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views of my employer."