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I don't know what I did to deserve this gift, but Jackson's mother is in town this week and she is played by none other than the spectacularly fantastic Debbie Allen. She is in town to do a groundbreaking penis transplant surgery, which means that Mark and therefore Jackson will be helping her. Because she is both a famous surgeon a la Ellis Grey and also his mom, Jackson can't help but be embarrassed by her at every turn -- to the point where he sends Lexie away so he doesn't have to deal with them meeting each other -- and also feel all sorts of pressure from her about every life and professional choice he has made. She's appalled to hear that he wants to go into plastic surgery but when April accidentally messes something up during the transplant, Mark suggests a procedure that Debbie has never heard of and has Jackson actually do it, which saves the day and the patient's new manhood. She seems to finally respect Jackson's choices at least a little more than she did before, though as she sort of connects with Mark she realizes that he is in love with her son's lady and warns Jackson to keep an eye on him. It's not all of the relationship advice she doles out, either -- she realizes that April is sorely lacking experience with the opposite sex and orchestrates a meet-cute between April and the transplant patient's brother. There's no indication if April is finally ushered into womanhood, but it's implied that it might happen sooner than later.
Through a surgical contest, Alex had almost earned the right to assist on the transplant when gets a page that's important enough that he chooses to forfeit -- that's because the page is that Zola is in the hospital having seizures. She needs surgery right away and Janet tells him and Arizona in no uncertain terms that Meredith and Derek can't be told because they currently don't have custody of Zola and if they got involved it could jeopardize the adoption. Alex isn't entirely sure he can live with this so he finds Cristina for support, and she winds up telling Mere and Derek what is going on. Derek flips out that Zola is still his patient so he should get involved, but Meredith manages to talk him out of it so that they don't lose their chances of getting her back for good. Arizona convinces them that she and Alex will take awesome care of Zola, and they do, and she is fine. Derek spends the day enraged at Meredith anew about the whole situation but once they find out that Zola is okay and Mere breaks down, Derek at least manages to rub her back and seems for the first time in a long time to not hate her completely, though he's still a long way from being a full-on supportive husband. Cristina assures them that she will stay at the hospital with Zola all night and then she calls them so that they can sing her a song to go to sleep.
That night, Owen hangs out for a little while with Cristina and the baby but when he sees her basically being awesome and sweet and loving with Zola he can't handle it anymore and takes off to a dinner party that Teddy and Henry are throwing. The party is for all of the couples, and Bailey and Eli were invited, but she forgot to invite Eli and when she realizes that, she realizes that she also can't keep going on hooking up with him since she doesn't want to be in a relationship with him. This seems directly related to her having to work with Ben again, and though she insists it doesn't, Ben is mighty cheerful when he hears about the breakup and obviously thinks that he might have a chance again with her at some point. But for now, she goes to the dinner and enlists her new date, White Wine, to help keep her mind off of the hot anesthesiologist.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!An episode is really filled with promise when the opening voiceover is all about dealing with loss. I mean, it virtually ensures an hour-long laugh riot, right there. I gear myself up as Mere tells us that the body is designed for loss, but sometimes it's just too much and the body can't compensate, and that is when surgeons step in. She's dealing with her own loss by folding Zola's clothes but when Derek sees her and suggests taking down the crib, she quickly assures him that she's just sorting out the clothes that Zola has grown out of. She clearly is trying to make the best of things and stay positive while Derek chooses to sulk. He's certain that it's been too long but Mere reminds him that the process was supposed to take a while. She tells him to fold clothes, promising that it somehow helps, but almost as soon as he picks up a piece he throws it down and storms out.
Things are far happier over at the fire house, where Cristina is rocking out to loud music while she cooks breakfast. Owen comes out to see what the party is for and she explains that Teddy told her that the best cardio surgeons have two dominant hands, so she's cooking breakfast entirely left-handed. She doesn't notice that Owen spits out a big piece of eggshell, and he distracts her from the food by pulling her down to the floor for some one-handed sexy time.
As Mere goes downstairs she runs into Lexie and her kind of distracting bangs, rolling a suitcase down the hall. She's off to visit her sister Molly, which was a surprise that Jackson arranged for her. It all sounds super cute and loving until we come to find out that Jackson's mom is coming to town, and so basically he's sending Lexie away to avoid a meeting between the two. Lexie's understandably touchy about it and frets that maybe she shouldn't go but Meredith is surprisingly cool and points out that while Lexie had a real mom, she and Jackson had, "surgeons who procreated." She finds it strangely sweet that Jackson is doing this and advises Lexie to get out while she can. I am seriously wondering at this point what Chyler Leigh has going on in her life because Lexie has been virtually nonexistent so far this season; the magical interwebs tell me that I'm not hallucinating but that she apparently asked for an extended hiatus to spend time with her family but that she will be back to regular screen time sooner than later.
Bailey is staring at the board when Ben walks up to her and points out what she is staring at: they are working together later that day. She assures him it's not an issue and he's glad, and goes on to explain that he'd been bringing lattes to a guy named Pierre in scheduling to keep him away from Bailey since she told him she was being held together with tape and glue. Now that he knows she's dating a nurse, he's no longer interested in being the coffee delivery boy. He's not hiding the fact that he obviously wasn't expecting her to find solace in the arms of another man once she didn't need so much tape and glue anymore. As he walks away, she can't help but stare rather wistfully at his rather stare-worthy backside. It seems my theory from last week is totally wrong, and we are to pretend that he was around the hospital this whole time, even though it feels like he went off the map for a while.
Teddy walks up to make sure that Bailey and Eli are coming for dinner, and notes the butt-ogling but Bailey just shuts her down with a glare after she confirms that they will be there. Teddy flees but Bailey doesn't get any peace as Richard walks up to ask about her heavy schedule that day which includes three islet cell surgeries and Henry's follow-up appointment. She thinks he's micromanaging her and can't give up ownership of the trial but actually he was just looking for a way to suggest that she might bring Meredith onto the trial to assist. Bailey may seem to have forgiven him but she very much hasn't forgiven Mere, and absolutely refuses.
The doctors all gather in a lecture hall and unsurprisingly, Cristina bitches about having to sit through a lecture. She's still all about working her left hand, and is using one of those squeezy workout grippy things (totally the technical name). Alex thinks this is going to be the perfect opportunity for a nap, but April pipes up excitedly that this won't be boring because it's Jackson's mom Catherine Avery and she's brilliant and amazing. April is totally in awe of her and tells everyone how she'll say crazy things but that once you think about them, they will change your life. Jackson just looks like April is crazy for thinking that and refers to his mom as a "toxic meddler." That's going to be the name of my band. Alex brings up his getting rid of Lexie for the week but as the others start to mock him Mere sticks up for him instead. It comes up that April is Facebook friends with Catherine, and that is the last straw for Jackson, who tries to melt into his seat. A few seats down Mark walks in and joins Callie, Arizona and Teddy, who talk about dinner that night; Callie lets Mark know that Teddy is having a dinner party but he isn't invited and Arizona explains that it's because he's got to be the babysitter. If that's anything like the few nights my dad would be left in charge of me and my sister, it will involve a dinner of canned peaches and awesome cartoons.
Finally, the woman herself comes to the stage and I gleefully clap at my TV like an idiot for the marvelous Debbie Allen finally making a Grey's appearance in front of the camera. She knows everyone hates lectures but insists that today she is changing a life and possibly making medical history while she's at it. "So who wants to step into the future with me?" April lets out an excited whoop, but she's the only one. Catherine just sees this as a challenge to get more takers, and she invites a young guy named Ryan out onto the stage. He walks out wearing a bathrobe, and when she asks him to show everyone why there are there, he then drops the robe and stands in all of his glory in front of the gaping audience. See, unfortunately for Ryan, he doesn't actually have a lot of glory to show off; Catherine invites a lucky few residents to scrub in with her on the country's first penis transplant.
Ryan is remarkably zen for someone standing in front of a room of at least 100 doctors without a stitch of clothing. He had penile cancer and lost his own soldier in the battle 11 months before. However, he is now cancer free (and Catherine gives him an enthusiastic if semi-awkward and mom-like high five) and a donor became available in Seattle, so he agreed to fly out and make this a teaching opportunity. This time, when she asks who is with her, every hand goes up other than Jackson, whose valiant attempts to become one with the upholstery have failed. Mark then stands up and introduces himself so that he can ask why they would do a transplant when reconstruction is so much less risky. She answers him with a question: "Do you like your penis?" All of the knowing women (and there are a lot in that auditorium) laugh heartily at this as Mark admits that it does the job. She points out that reconstruction leaves the patient with very little function, and she wants to break new ground so that this young man has more of a fighting chance to live an, er, stand-up life. She sounds just like a politician as she commends his bravery and selflessness to help advance medicine and whips the crowd into an excited frenzy of applause. Ryan actually smiles as she concludes enthusiastically, "And now let's give Ryan a penis!"
Afterwards she's thrilled to see Jackson even though he doesn't seem as thrilled to see her, and she acts like any mother, surgeon or not, as she comments on how he looks skinny and asks how he is sleeping. She then immediately wants to meet his ladyfriend -- she does know that her name is Lexie but that isn't thanks to Jackson, who is appalled that she found out the info -- and mocks him for sending her out of town, asking if he is ashamed. They are interrupted by Mark and it's probably the first time ever that Jackson has been relieved to have him walk up and take over a conversation. He brings up some more of his concerns about a transplant and in the course of the conversation it comes up that he is mentoring Jackson. Catherine is stunned and just the teeniest bit wistful to have not known this but Mark just plows ahead and actually compliments Jackson's surgical abilities. The sky is green today, ladies and gentlemen, and pigs are flying past. She invites Mark to scrub in so that she can hear some more about her son but after he leaves, Jackson tries to get her to mind her own business. She of course has no interest in doing so and gets in one more dig at Lexie's expense with a giggle. Jackson might at least admit that he sent her away rather than let his mom think she's a coward, come on.
Jackson then finds Mark and tells him that he's not going to compete for a spot in the surgery, but Mark is having none of it -- he orders Jackson to suck it up and take advantage of the opportunity, adding that it would also look good on his boards. Jackson doesn't exactly agree but he doesn't argue either, just hangs his head like a sad puppy, which is his general look for much of the hour.
Catherine has the skills lab set up with what I think are giant microscopes and a pan of raw chicken at each seat. She asks them who has worked with penis tissue and Alex can't help but crack at April to keep her hand down so that the entire room can hear. The procedure is delicate and the surgeons need to be graceful, and the two who show that and are the best at doing medblahotisitis with their chicken's femoral vessels will earn the right to scrub in to the surgery. Everyone gets to work and the first person she taps is April, who thinks she's won the lottery. Sadly, Catherine actually tells her she's too tense and dismisses her. Cristina's hand is shaking from all of her crazy lefty workouts and so she is dismissed as well, and Catherine reminds the rest that all they have to be is perfect.
Meanwhile, Bailey is finishing up one of her islet cell surgeries and tries to make a bit of small talk with Ben, but he doesn't pay much attention until she uses the word "magic," which he picks right up on as last he heard the term it was describing Eli's hands. Bailey finishes up and takes off her scrubs, then goes over and asks Ben if he has a problem. He claims not to, but she goes on to say she's trying to be nice but that she doesn't owe him an explanation... at this she finds herself lost for the right word so Ben bluntly reminds her that she is sleeping with a nurse. Bailey argues quietly that the two of them had broken up but Ben points out -- and it's not just because I like him the best that I kind of agree with what he has to say -- that she practically told him to wait for her. She denies it but he reminds her of all the things she said about how she just couldn't handle a relationship after the shooting and how it was all about her, not him. She claims that she still can't handle a relationship which then unfortunately means she has to say that whatever it is she has with Eli isn't one. Ben is incredibly amused as he asks her what it is, which just drives Bailey bonkers and she finally says that if he has a problem with her, he's to take it up with Pierre. She then storms out, but keeps glaring back at him as she goes, which neutralizes much of the sting that she intended.
Mmmm, squelching raw chicken. This reminds me why I don't like to cook chicken myself. Catherine, though, loves watching the last few competitors work and as she walks past Mere, she compliments her and asks her name. Upon hearing that it is Grey she excitedly asks if this is Lexie and Mere corrects her but come on, if some world-renowned surgeon was at Seattle Grace (which is somewhere they all seem to go all the time) and heard that name, the first thing they'd wonder is if said surgeon was related to Ellis. Alex's pager goes off and he moans since he's kicking ass in the chicken challenge, but it's at such an angle that he can read it and once he does, it only takes him a second to decide to excuse himself and run out. Mark excitedly points out that he forfeits which means that the two winners are Mere and... Jackson. Cristina thinks this is unfair since it's her son but Catherine dryly replies that she doesn't play favorites. "Nepotism is for the weak." Jackson, who is so uncomfortable he is about to claw his way out of his own skin, jokes that that is what his birthday cards always say, but it comes off more twitchy and crazy than funny, and he seems to realize it and shuts up.
Alex and Arizona sprint down the hall toward whatever emergency paged Alex, and both are panicked about what might have happened and if anyone else knows. They have good reason to be freaked out because they open the door and see Janet there with Zola, who has had a seizure.
Ryan's brother Chad has traveled with him to Seattle, and while he means well, he's doing a better job of embarrassing Ryan than standing naked in front of a lecture hall did. But he wants for his brother is to have some big business going on down there and finally Jackson tactfully tells them he thinks Ryan will be happy. Chad then also wants to make sure that it will "stand up" and do everything it's supposed to, and Catherine points out that this is why they are, in fact, doing a transplant. Mark throws out the less risky reconstruction option once again, but Ryan explains that he knew for months something was wrong before he saw a doctor and by the time he finally went, they said it was cancer that was too advanced and he'd have to lose his penis. He's tired of looking down and being reminded that he was a coward, and also thinks that if the medical world can learn from him and help someone else then he can at least feel good about what happened. I'm impressed that actually losing his most treasured organ seems to have matured Ryan into more of a man. Catherine gives Mark a pointed look and Mark seems to finally back down and accept the transplant idea as Catherine tells Ryan she'll see him in surgery.
As Arizona and Alex frantically treat Zola, Janet explains that the foster family said she was running a fever and wouldn't stop crying. Alex then tells everyone he'll page Meredith and Derek, but in response there is the proverbial record scratch and Janet tells him that he can't because their custody was suspended. Alex seems to think this is insane but Arizona adds that it would be a breach of confidentiality. For all intents and purposes, right now Meredith and Derek are just a third party. Alex is appalled, especially as they are right there in the hospital, but Arizona insists that the last thing they need right now is to put the adoption in jeopardy by breaking the rules. Seriously, though, if this were real life, I can't believe they'd even bring Zola to this hospital; it just feels like Janet is trying to set everyone up for failure (though I totally don't think that is actually her intent within this storyline). Yes, Zola was originally treated at this hospital but since Derek was one of her original doctors, it's not like he'd be able to work on her now. Alex seems to find this whole situation ridiculous but Arizona ignores him and just works on Zola.
As the Averys, Meredith and Mark get ready for surgery, Catherine compliments Meredith and asks about her specialization; Mere is smoother than I expected when she says that she was thinking about neuro but it now making a change. Mark, now 100% the proud mentor, brags that Jackson had a chance to go into neuro but turned it down for plastics. Unfortunately, this has the same reaction as if he told her that Jackson turned down Harvard for Partytown Technical Night School. She admonishes Jackson for turning down an opportunity to work with Derek Shepherd in favor of plastics and adds, "Who raised you when I wasn't looking?" Seriously, you'd think he just announced his dream of becoming the underwater basket weaving champion of Seattle. Even Mark yelps, "I'm standing right here!" Everyone is saved when Ryan is wheeled up and Catherine goes from irate mother to gentle surgeon. Chad is told that this is as far as he can go, so the brothers have a touching goodbye in which Chad tells Ryan he's going to take him to test out his new functionality at a strip club. Ryan stops him there, tired of always talking about his anatomy rather than talking about, say, basketball. He asks Catherine to promise this will go well so that he gets his brother back. Catherine tells him it will work and then merrily heads off to "harvest the donor organ." The boys opt not to think about that too hard (sorry, couldn't resist) and Ryan just warns Chad that once this is done, they are never to discuss his johnson ever again. Chad happily makes that promise and then they have a really sincere hug before doing the manly back-clapping and nod that says, "Don't worry, we weren't that into that hug, we're dudes." Chad watches them take Ryan away and instead of looking sad or worried like most family members, just raises his hands in victory for his little brother.
Case in point when it comes to the poor decision making in brining Zola to Seattle Grace: Alex is looking at her scans when Derek walks up to look at some of his own, and can't help but remark on what a nasty bowel obstruction Alex has up on the screen. He asks if Alex is on his own with the case and Alex quickly tells him that Arizona is helping, then snatches the film down and flees. He can't help but hesitate for one second before leaving the room, but ultimately he keeps his mouth shut.
Even though she was too tense to win the chicken-off, April gets to help Catherine harvest the penis -- a word she totally catches on like a teenager. April, you might be a virgin but you are a doctor. Come on. Catherine just tells April sincerely that she thought this would give them a chance to catch up. Then, awesomely, she announces that they are starting, "Like millions of angry wives dream of." The benefit for me this week is that since they are only dealing with surgery below the belt, they can't actually show anything on-screen. Sorry, special effects team! Catherine asks April how she is doing and April talks about how busy she is with fifth year and being Chief Resident. Catherine doesn't bother pretending to want to hear more about that stuff and just asks April when she is going to finally have sex. April is understandably taken aback but Catherine is unfazed and advises her that unless she has a good reason to wait, she should just do it because she's all wound up and that would relax her and make her a better surgeon. Well, if that's the case, I guess that's why this particular hospital is full of all of the top surgeons in their respective fields. Plenty of unwinding in between surgeries. April is mortified and can barely look down as Catherine starts to exclaim over the donor's "beautiful" dorsal vein, and finally she manages to ask if it's really that obvious. Catherine replies that April is looking at the organ like it's going to bite her. Honestly, she looks more like she's going to puke all over it.
Richard walks in to say hello as she is scrubbing out, and she gently admonishes him for letting Jackson go into plastics. Richard is totally unconcerned and points out that he seems happy, but Catherine isn't interested in happiness. "Greatness is his legacy." Richard, the now-wise elder of the show, just tells her she can't force people to do what they don't want to do. She agrees and brings up the example of one time when she threw herself at him at a medical conference until he told her he was married. I guess the Chief must really have been the McDreamy of his day to the mothers of his residents. Who knew? She asks if he is still married because she'd love to go to dinner, but he tells her that he is though his voice is tinged with sadness about his situation. Catherine jokes that there's always time, because he knows she doesn't give up. He just wishes her a good surgery and leaves.
Alex is pacing the hall when Cristina walks up in response to a page, griping about how he interrupted her. Her attitude changes right around, though, when Alex tells her that Zola is there with a bowel obstruction and they have to operate. He desperately wants confirmation from Cristina that it's the right thing to do to not tell Meredith and Derek, and she points out that he in fact just told her that it was. They both agree that it's best for the adoption though neither seems wholly convinced, and Alex repeats that this is Cristina's decision then. Cristina can't believe he called her down to take responsibility for his own decisions and mocks him, asking how small are his balls? Alex, usually never one to ignore the bait, actually just shoots back that Mere didn't talk to him for weeks for screwing up her life, so, "The balls are pretty small right now!" Fair enough. A nurse pops her head out of the door and yells at Alex that Zola is seizing again and that's all these two need to simultaneously change their minds. As they run into the room, Alex hollers that they are telling Meredith and Cristina absolutely concurs.
Ryan's OR is as packed as a hot club on a Saturday night because a ton of people were invited to watch the procedure from inside. April is furiously taking notes as they get started, and Mere is in charge of handling suction. Catherine finally makes a reference to Mere's lineage but it's really just to try and dig up some info about Lexie and Mere explains that they are half-sisters. Upon hearing that Lexie was not the fruit of Ellis' womb, Catherine cracks that Jackson picked the wrong Grey. Meredith politely defends Lexie while Jackson keeps warning his mom to stop, and Mark adds that Lexie is a great surgeon and a great girl. Cristina comes in and forces her way to the front of the throng of observers and tells them that she has to speak to Meredith, but Catherine tries to brush her away. Cristina is persistent, and finally she gets Mere to look at her, at which point they have a psychic best friend moment and Meredith apologizes to Catherine that she has to go. Catherine rightly points out that Ellis is rolling over in her grave for Mere passing up this chance, but Mere just leaves and Catherine winds up choosing April to scrub in as Meredith's replacement. Being Facebook friends certainly has its perks.
Both Bailey and Eli are examining Henry and running a bunch of tests to see if the islet cell device is doing its job. Henry asks if they can call him with the results and frets a little bit about overmarinating the fish for that night's dinner. As he talks, Bailey starts to look a little bit afraid while Eli starts to look confused and after Henry confirms that they both like fish, finally asks what is going on. As if Henry isn't even there, Bailey says politely that Henry and Teddy are having a dinner party to which they are both invited, but she admits rather shamefacedly that she forgot to tell Eli about it. He dryly points out that it's good that Henry was there to bring up the marinade. Now Henry is both worried about his fish and caught in the middle of an uncomfortable situation so he does what any of us would do: he starts to babble. They ignore him and Bailey asks Eli if he is free but also assures him that he doesn't have to go, to which Eli points out that this is the best invite he's ever gotten. Seriously, I'm not sure why he's actually agreeing to go at this point, but he does even though his ego has taken a little bit of a blow.
April is falling over herself thanking Catherine for picking her while Catherine just tries to get her to calm down and be careful with her job. She also compliments her son on his technique and Mark chimes in about Jackson's natural ability and how he's born for plastics. Man, when Mark decides he's in, he's in -- I keep expecting him to turn on Jackson but he seems fully sold on his awesome Guntherness. Catherine, however, is not sold on plastics. She thinks that it's easy for someone to get hooked on all of the money they could make from boob jobs and tummy tucks. Mark thinks she's not being fair about the job while Jackson points out that she actually doesn't think he has the discipline to resist the easy money. It's quite an argument to have in front of an audience of your peers, too. They all start to argue but Catherine is still keeping an eye on Ryan's new package as well, and she keeps reminding April to be gentle. As the yelling picks up from the boys she starts to yell to but it's at April, since she has gotten Catherine's beautiful dorsal vein stuck in the suction, and it basically rips the thing apart to everyone's horror, especially April's.
Meredith and Derek are in an office with Alex and Arizona and as you can guess from his thoughtful and measured interactions with Meredith lately, Derek is being equally gracious now. Which is to say not at all. No one is happy -- Arizona is livid that Alex told Meredith and Derek what happened and Derek is livid because he considers Zola to be his patient. The fact that he can't see that no one would ever agree with him and he'd kill his adoption on the spot is just maddening. Owen comes in to try and referee, much to Arizona's relief. She rightly assumes that Owen will agree that there is no way they can see Zola, and Derek's mature response is to order Owen to butt out. Look, I'm not trying to diminish how horrible it would be for people to have their adoption in jeopardy, or how hard it would be if your wife screwed up your job. But I am so sick of Derek not only seeing things just one way, but seeing things only that one way that fits the moment that he's in and nothing else. He's become such a one-note asshole that I am now preconditioned to despise him; then I find that I've become just as bad, a one-note complainer! It just sucks to have a show you like with a character you've grown to actually hate.
Arizona assures them that Zola is being cared for by a team of nurses who are making sure she's well taken care of and not alone at any second. Derek yells that he should be the one to fix the shunt but Alex finally pipes up to remind them that Janet is hanging out and just waiting for something like that to happen. But Derek knows that Alex is also feeling guilty about the whole situation and eventually bullies him into admitting where Zola is, so Derek starts to run off with the whole gang of doctors trailing him. Meredith is ultimately the one who calms him down -- she explains that Zola is here now because the foster parents didn't know what to look for when she started having symptoms, and takes full responsibility for that. She begs him to understand that while she has to live with that, they now need to mind their p's and q's. She also reminds him that Arizona is a great surgeon, and so grudgingly Derek asks her what she will do. She explains how she'll fix the obstruction and if need be, will fix the shunt as well. Derek paces while he thinks.
He seems to have agreed since we see him in the stairwell. Owen joins him and tells him that they are starting the surgery, then sits down on the step just down from him. Much like the male hug/back-clap, this is a way for him to show he's there to talk but not going to sit too close. Derek admits that he knows he should be with Meredith since he can see that she is in pain too, but he can barely look at her because he still considers this entirely her fault. Yes, and he's been nothing but the picture of perfection through this entire ordeal. Gah! Sorry, I've said my peace, and I'm going to try and make it through the rest of this episode calmly and gracefully, like Catherine Avery would like. Derek adds that every time he thinks he's forgiven Meredith something happens that puts him right back at the beginning of all his anger. Owen tells him that he and Cristina just went through something difficult too, so he knows how he feels. He adds that the girls don't make it easy for them, and Derek chuckles while both of them furrow their brows deeply over their difficult, maddening wives.
Richard finds Bailey and brings up Zola and her poor tiny obstructed bowel. He tells Bailey that this can't be easy on Meredith, and kooky music starts up so we know we are to find Richard's persistence charming. I find it admirable that he wants to help Meredith but I think that he knows Bailey well enough to know that this approach is never going to get him anywhere. She knows this too and asks if he's really trying to use their sick baby as a reason to put Meredith on her trial. Richard pleads with Bailey to help her, and adds that Bailey is the moral compass of the hospital. Normally I'd think that even she would agree but not these days -- she starts to berate herself for not being moral in the least and adds that she's using one man like a plaything while making another bribe Pierre to fix his schedule around her. Richard seems incredibly alarmed at what he just had to hear and what more might be coming, while Bailey reiterates that she's using one man as a plaything, "Often! And enthusiastically!" Richard finally manages just to suggest she could just stop. He then reminds Bailey that he promised Ellis on her deathbed that he would look after Mere but this does nothing to sway Bailey, so he finally leaves with visions of playthings unwelcomly dancing in his head.
Back in the OR, April can't stop apologizing while Catherine just wants a moment to think about how they might salvage the situation now that she has no beautiful dorsal vein to work with. She thinks that they could take a vein from Ryan's leg as a substitute, but Mark has a better idea that I totally couldn't really make out. He has a bunch of reasons why his way would be better, but Catherine is wary. Mark is persuasive, though, and once she finally agrees to go along with it -- provided he's truly comfortable -- Mark is totally jolly as he tells her he's so comfortable, he's going to have her son do it. Jackson has earned the right to give his mom a short but very pointed look, I'd say.
While Derek and Owen sit in the stairwell, their difficult wives hang out on a bench outside. Cristina has a little plastic contraption to which a long piece of thread is attached, and she's practicing some kind of knot while she talks Meredith out of the idea of calling Alex to get an update before he was even due to call them. Cristina knows where Meredith's mind is going and she firmly tells her friend that Zola is not going to die. She then offers her contraption to Meredith as a distraction and tells her to try out what I think she calls a single hand left handed tie. I'm not sure why it is called that since she uses both hands, but whatever it is called Meredith gets it on the first try, which drives Cristina bonkers. Derek then comes out with an update that they had to resect a small part of Zola's bowel but that everything is good so far. Mere visibly relaxes a little bit and Derek actually sits down to share in the relief. As the girls sip on water bottles he picks up Cristina's thing and does the knot she's been practicing perfectly. She snatches the contraption back, declaring that she hates them both, which actually gives the two of them a moment of shared amusement for the first time in weeks.
In the OR, Arizona is still fuming at Alex but he points out that she should understand what Meredith and Derek are going through better than anyone else since she technically has no parental rights to Sofia. Arizona's not pleased with this line of conversation and tells him to mind his own business; when Alex just simply says that the situation sucks Arizona snaps at him that what sucks is that they are now completely worried about Zola and the adoption is in even more jeopardy than it was before when it didn't have to be, because she and Alex would have been able to totally fix Zola without Mere and Derek having to go out of their minds with worry.
Jackson finishes up his work on Ryan and Mark compliments him, but Catherine isn't yet ready to admit that they were right. She reminds them that currently they just have a sad, grey penis with a piece of belly in it. Huh, that's what Mark said they were doing? This is why I'm not a doctor, folks. Catherine tells April to release the clamp and after a few moments of fretting she finally does, and the penis pinks right up, showing that Mark and Jackson did an awesome job. The girls can't help but roll their eyes at the celebration.
Some soulful dude music starts up as Alex comes in to the locker room where Meredith, Derek and Cristina are waiting to tell them that they removed all of the adhesions and that the shunt is working again, and Zola will be fine. Meredith collapses onto her seat and takes Alex's hand as she starts to cry; shockingly, Derek reaches out and starts to rub the back of her neck. Cristina smiles at them too, sincerely happy as well. Alex hesitates a moment while Mere holds his hand as if he's judging if Derek is really going to be there for his wife and if it's then safe to leave. He then goes, and Cristina tells the couple that she'll stay with Zola that night and will call if there are any problems. She then orders them to go home. Mere can't stop sobbing but Derek keeps rubbing her back and he looks at least a little bit happy for the first time I think all season.
Teddy has heard about the awkward Eli invite and finds Bailey to ask her if she should really set a place for him. Bailey moans about forgetting to invite him and then finally admits that she has to break up with him. Teddy begs her to do it after the party, but Bailey doesn't seem to notice since she can only think about how she might tell him. She's worried about not being clear after her conversation with Ben about his waiting at her request. Teddy finally instructs her to use short, declarative sentences. "I'm ending this. All the best to you." She then changes her mind and tells Bailey to do it before dinner, but Bailey wants to wait until tomorrow so as not to deprive Eli of a tasty fish dinner. Teddy isn't excited about hosting a "dead man walking" but Bailey digs deep and finds some of her inner feistiness and tells her to buck up, that she can handle it.
For some reason today I keep typing "Dere and Merek" each time I mention these two. Maybe my subconscious is trying to construct a new couple that's more mature and able to handle their relationship woes and each take responsibility for their parts in what happened, Merek. Our Mere and Derek are in the elevator, actually holding hands, and Mere has her head resting on Derek's shoulder. She looks emotionally and physically drained, like she can't actually hold her own head up, and still has tears and mascara drying on her cheeks. The doors open, and they find themselves face-to-face with Janet. No one says anything as they all stare at each other, everyone sad, and Janet looking mildly accusing. Finally, without any of them uttering a word, the doors close again.
Ryan is awake, and the docs have gathered in his room for the big (well, Chad hopes) unveiling. Chad can't help chuckling and commenting on how this is like Christmas morning, and finally Ryan orders him to shut up. He then takes a deep breath, and Catherine pulls back the blanket. She tells him the swelling will go down (that seems a little cruel, that he gets a look and finds out it's not going to be that big?) and Mark adds the most important thing: it will do everything it is supposed to. Ryan is thrilled and thanks then, then offers his brother one last look. Chad actually turns him down, insisting that if Ryan is happy, he is happy.
Cristina is taking care of Zola and chatting away with her as she gets her bandage and diaper all changed. She tells the baby that she's going to have a scar but that it will just make her look fierce. It's true. All the cool girls have bitchin' scars. Owen is there too, working away, still practicing the idea that his office is wherever he is. Cristina tells him that he should still go to the dinner party, but he's happy to stay there with her and keep her company. She then keeps on talking to Zola about what awesome surgeons her parents are, and how one day when she's also awesome, she'll tell everyone how she comes from a long line of surgeons. Zola is grinning like crazy at her and Cristina looks pretty smitten, which starts to get to Owen. After watching her clearly loving this baby, he can't take it any longer and decides to go to the party after all. Cristina is too busy with Zola to realize what happened, and just happily kisses him goodbye.
Bailey is waiting outside for Eli and looks like she's trying very hard not to vomit as she starts to walk towards the car with him. After a moment she stops and finally tells him that she can't do this. For once, his expression is serious and he doesn't have some snappy comeback to shut her down. She tells him that she wants to make sure she's clear, but he cuts her off to supply that she's not sure what they two of them have but whatever it is, it is ending. She's confused that he seems to know what she was going to say but he tells her that she's been nothing but clear from the beginning that she didn't want a relationship, but he was ignoring that because she is different than any woman he's known before. She's not entirely paying attention now, instead thinking about the implications of his telling her that she's always totally clear. Eli admits that he should have walked away, and reiterates once more that a lack of clarity has never been one of Bailey's issues. She's sad that her playtime is ending, and tells Eli sincerely that she's sorry. He's actually more likable now than ever, since he's actually listening to her and respecting what she says. He hands her the bottle of wine he had been holding and tells her to enjoy the party, then walks away without looking back.
Outside the OR, Catherine manages to swallow her pride and admit that she was wrong and Mark and Jackson made an impressive save. Mark's his cocky self in accepting the praise but then tells her that Jackson is a good kid, and she should let him find his own way and he'll do well. She thanks him, and he starts to walk away but then turns and adds that she shouldn't count out Lexie Grey because she is smart, beautiful, and perfect. She's Mary Poppins: practically perfect in every way. He adds that a guy couldn't do any better, and while Catherine doesn't say anything she clearly makes a big mental note about his praise.
Bailey has taken a seat again outside and waits there until Ben walks out the door. He acknowledges her but starts to walk away, so she stands and calls after him somewhat timidly that she wants to tell him something before he hears it through the incredibly effective hospital grapevine. She informs him that she broke up with Eli, and knows that Ben will think this has to do with him, but she wants to be extremely clear that it has nothing to do with him at all. Unfortunately, awkwardly making a point of informing someone that something has nothing to do with them really is only a giant, loud, bright, clear, unequivocal declaration that it in fact has everything to do with them. Ben certainly knows this, and he doesn't make a lot of effort to control his grin. She keeps insisting that it's not to do with him and keeps asking if she is clear, and finally he just murmurs a little agreement. But she knows he doesn't really mean it, and as he walks away she keeps yelling after him, almost begging him to believe her. He just grins and waves as he wishes her goodnight and goes on his way.
The Averys and April have gone to Joe's to celebrate their successful surgery, but April can't stop apologizing for shredding up the vein. Catherine repeats that she has to learn how to relax, adding that she's now making a good day feel bad. Chad has wandered over to the bar as well, and he walks up to the table and thanks April for the drink. She's flustered and utterly confused, but Catherine very pointedly says that he's talking about the drink she sent to him; it takes April a few beats to realize what Catherine did and Chad surely must know this is a setup. Catherine tells April with a grin that this is the moment where she gets up and plays darts with the guy; April takes a giant gulp of her drink for some Dutch courage and then gets up and walks over there while Jackson watches, embarrassed but amused. He asks her why she has to be such a meddler but she happily clinks his glass and insists she is using her powers for good this time.
Some of the guests are gathered at Teddy and Henry's apartment, and Owen gives them Cristina's regrets. Henry jokes that with this many doctors, having only three of them stood up is not bad. The count is actually down to two no-shows when Arizona arrives. Henry goes over and sits down to Bailey on the couch, who tells him that Eli is stuck at the hospital, and then she proceeds to pour about half of the bottle of wine Eli gave her into her glass. I like the way she thinks.
Despite her bravado in the OR, Arizona is totally disconcerted by what Alex said to her and she pulls Callie aside and asks to talk. Without pausing for breath she tells Callie that she wants a paper that says that Sofia is hers, which is something they've said they are going to do but have not yet done. Callie is kind of wigged out by Arizona's mania, and tells her calmly, "Let's do it." Arizona is so worked up she doesn't really register that Callie just completely agreed with her and she goes on to say that she is hers as well as Callie's and Mark's, and that Sofia calls her "Mama" and Arizona is the only one who can get her back to sleep at night. Callie assures her gently that she knows all of this, and promises her that they will get that piece of paper right away.
Back at the bar, Catherine stirs her martini and asks Jackson to tell her about plastics. He moans and tells her he's too tired to try and justify his life choices, but she insists she just was trying to get him to share his interests with his mom. She points out that he could also tell her about the girl he sent away, so I guess that means she realizes that it was Jackson's doing and not Lexie's choice to avoid this meeting. Jackson asks if she can blame him, pointing out her treatment of Mark, but she retorts that Mark can take it. Jackson tries to put the subject to bed by telling her that he really likes Lexie a lot, but Catherine tells him -- to his dismay -- that she's going to meddle one more time. She then warns him that, if he really likes Lexie, he needs to watch out for Mark because Mark talks about Lexie the way Jackson should be talking about her. Jackson insists that whatever Lexie and Mark had is over, but Catherine just twirls the olives in her drink with an eyebrow raised and asks Jackson if he's in love with her. Jackson shuts her down and she laughs, thinking that she finally had gotten him to open up a little bit. Her advice is good, though, and she hit the nail on the head that Jackson should be the one telling his mom everything Mark actually said about Lexie. Although y'all know my feelings about Mark and Lexie, so I'm actually kind of happy that we might have some kind of triangle. Jackson, honey, if she ever leaves you, you can just take your shirt off and come over here. I'll comfort you.
Meredith and Derek are back to their standard awkward position of late: both are lying on the bed, on top of the covers, fully clothed, not touching each other. The phone rings; it's Cristina calling so that they can wish Zola goodnight. After they each take the phone for a moment, Derek settles it between them and they lean in and sing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" while Cristina holds the phone up to Zola, who is in her arms. Mere VO's that some people say that the inability to accept loss is a form of insanity, which could be true, but sometimes it's the only way to stay alive. Once they hang up the phone, Derek and Meredith go back to their awkward, tense co-existence, with Derek staring at the ceiling and pointedly not touching his wife. I guess Mere is saying that this might be a form of insanity, but I think it's his way of being able to maintain that all of this is her fault and he had absolutely nothing to do with it and is merely a tragic victim.
Lauren S is a writer and gal-about-town who lives and works in Atlanta and would love to gossip with Debbie Allen over martinis. She wants everyone to know: "The views expressed in my recaps and anything else I might write on TWoP are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views of my employer."