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Callie and Arizona's wedding day has finally arrived, and while Callie is in great shape for it, there's plenty else to go wrong. Arizona's dad seems rather humorless and is disgusted that Mark is considered part of the family. He's also planned everything down to the second, which wouldn't be so bad except that Arizona realizes that she needs to be able to take a few moments to be sad and miss her brother. At least that does give her and Mark a really nice moment together when she briefly breaks down and he comforts her. Callie's mom keeps acting strange and distant, and when Callie finally confronts her about it, her mom tells her that she thinks the wedding is a joke, and she can't handle that her granddaughter is a bastard and that her daughter is going to go to hell. It's especially sad because Callie's dad has come around to being totally awesome and supportive, but when her mother storms off Callie tells her dad that it's for the best that he leave with her. She's heartbroken but still on board to get married until Mark comes in with news that their minister's wife was in an accident and so he now can't perform the wedding. Callie calls everything off, so Mark sends Bailey to go talk to her. Because Bailey is, as we all know, the best, she convinces Callie that she should still get married and as an extra-awesome bonus, Bailey manages to get herself ordained and conducts the ceremony herself. Meanwhile, Callie's dad realizes that he has wanted to dance with his daughter at her wedding ever since she was born, so he turns the car around and drives back to do just that. No word on if mom is hanging out at the airport or is just sulking in the car.
The race for Chief Resident is seriously heating up, and all of the residents are looking pretty impressive. Meredith and Avery are both helping out on their fancy clinical trials, even though Avery is bitter about having to tend to mice as test patients until the FDA approval comes through on Richard's trial. But when something goes wrong with one of the rodents, he runs a slew of tests and is able to figure out what's wrong and how to fix it to hopefully make the trial that much more successful. April has learned a bit of Swahili to try and help her 10-year-old African patient feel more comfortable, but Stark is still feeling rejected and so is a total ass to her about it. When he finds her making corn porridge for the little girl, April finally stands up for herself and points out that she's done everything she possibly can medically and so if she can help a terrified kid feel a little bit better by giving her food that is more familiar and like she has at home, she'll do it. Stark finally swallows his hurt pride and recommends her as an awesome candidate to Owen. The current frontrunner, though, is Alex, for organizing the transport of all of the kids from Africa in the first place.
The person who isn't doing so well is Cristina, because she and Teddy are still at odds. Cristina goes to Owen to find out what she needs to do and he finally tells her to apologize. Teddy, meanwhile, is trying to come up with good reasons not to take Cristina back, because she's losing her resolve and could use her on an upcoming surgery. The reason Teddy is still so angry is because she thinks Cristina got lucky with the procedure that saved Callie's life, and is galled by the fact that Cristina doesn't see that and just thinks she's totally brilliant. When Cristina gives her a totally insincere apology, Teddy doesn't accept it. Later, at the wedding, Cristina finally tells Teddy what she sincerely thinks, which is that she's sorry Teddy is so threatened by her because she's such a good surgeon with great instincts like the one that saved Callie. Unsurprisingly, this goes over like a lead balloon.
At least while she's going through this with Cristina, Teddy is having some fun dating Dr. Perkins, who is still in town for a few weeks longer. Because it's a short and limited timeframe, she decides not to trouble him with the little detail of her insurance marriage to Henry. It might be something she has to fess up to after all, however, when Perkins tells her that he's accepting a permanent job in Germany... only if she will come with him and work there, too. For now, she can only look stunned and guzzle champagne at the idea.
Finally, Alex figures out pretty quickly that Meredith switched the vaccines in the trial so that Adele could get the medicine. He confronts her about it, pointing out that at some point the FDA will figure it out and at that point her trial will be ruined and they'll also never let Seattle Grace do research again. Mere insists that what she did doesn't affect any of the results or how the medicine works, but it's a pretty weak argument. Alex sort of threatens to spill the beans, but, at least for this hour, he ultimately keeps his mouth shut. Meredith is pretty jumpy about it, but she winds up with something to distract her -- Derek falls in love with the six-month-old African orphan that he is treating and tells Mere that he thinks they should adopt her. After the shock wears off, Mere warms to the idea, and they start the oodles of paperwork and whatnot needed for the application. Derek points out that they can do one of the things on the list right away, and after only minimal hesitation on Meredith's part the two of them go hand-in-hand to the Seattle Municipal Court and get actually, seriously, legally married. Pigs are flying past my window, folks. And I tip my hat to the writers on this one, because I never, ever thought that this would happen and definitely didn't see it coming during this episode. Well played, writers, well played.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Even though they've been together a long time now, it's still a little bit weird for me to see Derek and Meredith eating dinner at home like two grown-ups, talking about their day. Fortunately, Alex is there to help add some drama, and as Derek talks excitedly about the trial Alex glares pointedly at Mere over his sandwich. I'm not going to lie, the sandwich detracts a little from the menace he's trying to convey. But Mere still looks awfully uncomfortable as she VOs about germs and all the other dangers that the body encounters all the time.
Across town, another, only marginally more comfortable dinner is taking place. Arizona and Callie's families are together for the first time, and Arizona's dad doesn't seem to be enjoying himself too much. When Mark goes to give a really nice toast, he gripes about the "sperm donor" being allowed at a family dinner and so Callie's dad (yay!) tries to break the ice by asking if he is ever called anything other than "Colonel." His answer is, "The Colonel." In print, it's tempting to make a friend chicken joke here but he seems so stern that the threat of a glare from this fictional character through my TV screen will keep me from making it. Callie realizes they forgot to say grace and so she has everyone stop eating a moment to do so; I fall in love with Arizona's mom when she teases her husband with, "Put the fork down, 'The Colonel.'" Sofia starts to cry and so Callie goes to get her while Mr. Torres shows how much he's making an effort by happily talking about a man on his flight who was on his way to, "A parade! For pride!" It's really sweet how excited he is, but I forget all about that when Callie walks in with the baby, who lets out a yawn and therefore with her masterful baby cuteness powers turns me and Arizona's mother both to jelly. Callie tries to hand the baby to her mom, who hasn't gotten a chance to hold her yet, but her mother makes a super lame excuse and Sofia's three parents exchange surprised but pointed looks. Mere finishes up her VO telling us that the body will detect an invader and attack.
The morning, Alex gives a slide show presentation to introduce each of the young patients he brought over from Africa and their various maladies. As he puts up a picture of an adorable baby named Zola with spina bifida, Cristina and the other residents start griping yet again about how he's using adorable children to steal Chief Resident from the rest of them. Avery points out that they are even helping him do it by performing the surgeries, but how could they possibly say no? April says something in Swahili, which she has been learning in anticipation of the kids' arrival. As they all alternately gripe or brag, or both, Richard yells at them to shut up and implies that if they don't, Alex really does have this in the bag. Once Alex is done, the other doctors (minus his fellow residents) actually give him that which is the pinnacle of television recognition: the slow clap.
One of the reasons that Jackson is so bent out of shape is that while he's assisting the Chief with his own clinical trial, all that currently entails is caring for little white mice. He's not thrilled to have "cleaning mouse poop" on his current to-do list and can barely disguise that from Richard. Richard doesn't seem to notice, though -- maybe he is distracted by Jackson's hair, which he appears to be growing out a little. I am a little leery of this look but will reserve judgment for a couple of episodes to see how it comes along.
The adorable orphan baby from Alex's slideshow, Zola, is crying when Derek goes in to see her. A woman from the orphanage hands her over to Derek, who explains how she might have some fluid buildup from her condition and that repositioning of her might make her more comfortable; just like that, Zola stops crying and McKenna, the orphanage worker, almost falls over from shock since Zola basically hasn't stopped crying since she got to the orphanage four months earlier. Derek just grins and coos at her, already smitten, and seriously, something in my brain just misfired on account of all of this preciousness. My feelings on Derek are well documented but if we see him sweetly coo at this baby much longer, I might take back anything bad I've ever said about him in the last five seasons. I'm not exaggerating, that's how powerful this baby's (and McDreamy's) cuteness are right now. See? I just called him McDreamy. What is happening to me??
Teddy, Arizona, Cristina and Lexie are at their patient's bedside along with the kid's older brother, Sefu. Teddy explains that they are going to repair the boy's heart while Mark constructs a new sternum for him. The boy says something to his brother who translates that his brother just asked: if he dies, can they delay telling the family so that he doesn't ruin his sister's birthday? Oh come on, now you're just blatantly pulling on our heartstrings, people. Arizona sits down on the bed and assures the boy that they will take really good care of him, and he won't ruin his sister's birthday. It's unclear if his serious face is because he doesn't necessarily believe that, or if it's because he doesn't understand English and is trying to decipher what Arizona just said by her tone. Teddy then opens the boy's gown so that they can see his chest, and the doctors gape to see the fully detailed outline of his heart beating just under his skin.
Having come the closest anyone could to seeing someone's heart beating outside of their body, Cristina marches down to Owen to try and get him to fix the Teddy situation. Owen is struggling with an unruly patient and Cristina jams a needle of B52 in the guy so that he'll calm down and more importantly, she can rant uninterrupted. It seems she was in the room because she's on Arizona's service but she points out that this just puts her tantalizingly close to this amazing cardiac case, but not actually able to work on it when it's time for surgery. As Owen starts to staple the now-dazed guy's head shut, he finally caves and tells Cristina that she has to apologize. Cristina asks him what she should apologize for: having better judgment than Teddy and saving Callie's life? It's arrogant, but she's totally matter-of-fact about it because she believes it with every fiber of her being. Okay, so she gets a little grandiose when she declares that there will be a wedding tomorrow because of her. Even Owen's patient, in his dreamy drug haze, knows this isn't a good apology. Owen points out that she asked him what to do, and he gave her an answer, implying that the rest is now up to her.
Owen and Stark's patient is a little girl named Asha, 10 years old, who has some severe injuries from an explosive which then healed incorrectly and on top of that, she is HIV-positive. April is sitting on the girl's bed trying to say hello in Swahili, but Asha is terrified and physically recoils when they try to take her blood pressure. Owen gives some instructions but April is too busy trying to calm the girl in Swahili and doesn't hear him; after Owen repeats himself Stark pointedly tells April that if she spent more time doing her job and less learning another language that they wouldn't have to repeat themselves. April is mortified, though more from Stark's public chastising than from Owen's repeating himself.
Teddy is in the elevator and is none too pleased when Cristina catches the door as it is closing and hops on. After a moment of staring at the door, she sucks it up, turns around and apologizes. Well, "apologizes." She tells Teddy she's sorry for going over her head and putting her in a difficult position. Worse, she's clearly proud and thinks she just acted completely generously and is about to be forgiven. Teddy isn't impressed, and asks if she means it or if she just wants back on Teddy's service? After a moment of thought, Cristina asks if it matters. Unfortunately for Cristina, it does, and Teddy storms off.
Callie, Arizona and their parents are in the apartment for the wedding rehearsal, and The Colonel starts out by handing everyone a schedule for the two days that is set to the minute. For as scheduled as her dad is, Arizona's mom is easily distracted by Sofia and Arizona tries to keep her on track so that they get through the rehearsal before she has to be back at the hospital. Once she reads the schedule, though, she's appalled that her dad hasn't put in a moment of silence so that they could light a candle for her brother. Arizona's mom just quietly tells Arizona to let it go; this is clearly an issue that has come up in the family before. Callie tries to smooth things out by getting them back on track, and when she mentions "Father Brooks" who will perform the ceremony, her mom is surprised and possibly slightly appalled that they found a priest. Callie clarifies that he's a minister but promises that it will all still be very "churchy." As someone who tends to try way too hard to please everyone else, I ache for Callie as she is clearly trying to do a lot of this for her mom, who is just acting totally weird. Arizona's is pissed when Mark shows up -- while Arizona has found peace with their strange little family, The Colonel obviously isn't ready to do so. The already uncomfortable atmosphere is made even more so when Callie's mom won't hold Sofia when Callie tries to hand her over; Mr. Torres swoops in and is happy to take the baby instead but even he can't cover up that this rehearsal is about as un-celebratory an event as could be imagined.
Jackson, Mr. Complaining McGripey, is bitching about his rodent charges to Lexie, who is carefully practicing a procedure on a plum. She replies with all of the correct, supportive girlfriend niceties, and reminds him that this is just until they get FDA approval, but he can see that she's distracted. She explains that her patient's skin has grown directly on to his heart, so she's helping Teddy remove that without accidentally puncturing his ticker. It's a surgery that seems custom-tailored for Cristina.
Teddy knows it, too, so she finds Owen and orders him to give her a list of reasons why she shouldn't let Cristina back on her service so that she can talk herself out of letting her back on this surgery. The one flaw to Teddy's plan is that she's asking Cristina's husband to do this, and I think he's speaking both as husband and co-worker when he tells Teddy he thinks that she should take Cristina back. Teddy rejects the idea immediately and tells him that wouldn't teach Cristina everything. She finally explains her reasoning behind freezing Cristina out and I'll admit I'm a little surprised when it turns out to be a good one: Cristina got lucky that her procedure worked for Callie, but she can't see that, and just thinks she's the most brilliant resident to ever walk the halls of Seattle Grace. Owen thinks Teddy could just tell Cristina this but Teddy knows Cristina well enough that she knows she won't listen -- she has to learn the lesson herself. Teddy tells Owen she can handle being the bad guy, but could Cristina handle something like killing Callie? I think that Teddy is totally right about Cristina but let's be honest and point out that I think it definitely bruised Teddy's ego a little as well. Owen at least now finally understands Teddy's point of view, and the worried look on his face says he agrees.
Alex gives Derek that they are going to need to put a shunt in Zola's brain and he's still there when Meredith walks up, so he hears Derek ask her how things are going with the trial. The first wave of patients is done and so they are moving on to the group. Once Derek's pertinent exposition is done, he leaves so that Alex can give Meredith more of a hard time. But when he asks her what she did, she plays completely dumb. Alex points out that he saw her with one of the packets from the trial and reminds her that no matter how minor, if she did anything she could invalidate the whole trial in addition to being in legal hot water for screwing around with a blind trial. Mere won't give up on pretending she did nothing, and when Alex is done she presents him with an eloquent reply: she claims she did nothing and he should shut up. As one reader asked, why was this not a double-blind trial? I still am having a hard time swallowing that they'd let the doctors know what medicine was given, rather than keeping them in the dark too so that there's no unconscious difference in the follow-up care the patients receive. But then again, now we have a juicy storyline, so I think I have just answered my own question.
April is worried about Asha since she hasn't eaten since she arrived and still seems terrified, but when April tries to talk to Stark about it he reverts to his most Starkian and refuses to listen to anything she says that isn't about Asha's medical treatment. As he walks off, she seems not to be able to help herself and yells after him that he promised. Stark turns, knowing what's coming, and he's fit to be tied that she'd play this card. April reminds him that they could work together and he'd treat her like any other resident. I guess she already forgot about her first interactions with him when he was a kindness black hole. He icily assures her that he's treating her exactly like he does the other residents. He's not wrong -- He's an equal opportunity jackass. The conversation is cut short when they both get a 911 page.
They run to Asha's room where the little girl is moaning and heaving, and after a moment she vomits blood all over April's coat and shoes. Stark hollers at her to get a gown but April insists that she's fine and keeps working.
The rehearsal over, a frazzled Callie and Arizona are just sitting on their bed, staring blankly across the room. They assure each other that they can handle two more days of family and then can get back to the non-brunching, non-praying life they normally lead. But they manage to laugh about it, and then grin at each other, totally ecstatic that they are about to get married.
Asha is in surgery and her insides are even more messed up than predicted on account of her having some sort of TB that doesn't even exist in the U.S. As Owen goes to work April asks an incredibly intelligent and technical question and earns a surprised look from Stark, who seems to have forgotten until now that April is actually a really good doctor just because he couldn't get over his sad, unrequited love.
Alex and Derek are operating on Zola, putting in her shunt, and as they do Derek tells Alex that while he was unhappy when Alex left the trial, he realizes that Alex was right to focus on working with kids instead, and that his suggestion to have Meredith help was great since she's just the right person for the trial. He might has well have just punched Alex in the gut at the same time to drive the point home that Meredith might not have been the perfect person after all, since it's only a matter of time before the shit hits the fan.
At the coffee cart, Teddy and Arizona have a moment to chat and remind us that they are actually quite good friends, and we don't get to see enough of that friendship with all of the focus on the various romance and sex drama that takes place. They talk about the wedding a bit until Teddy gets a text, and Arizona asks her if it's from "hottie husband or hottie boyfriend?" She really does have an embarrassment of riches right now. Teddy downplays the situation and says that Andrew isn't her boyfriend, but it turns out she hasn't mentioned him to Henry, which speaks volumes. Volumes about her having feelings for both. Teddy just insists, though, that Andrew is just in town for another week and she's just simply enjoying that time with him.
Jackson is in with his mice, and he's gotten punchy enough that he's started talking to them like they are his buddies. It's cute, though, and much preferred to his recent bitterness; seriously, a face that gorgeous shouldn't be doing so much glowering. They appear to all be doing great, until he sees that Mouse J looks like a tiny mouse mummy, and he starts to freak out.
Callie is alone with her mom for a moment and is excited to surprise her with her veil that she had made to look just like her mom's. But her mom's reaction is just like every other reaction she's had to anything, which is to say lukewarm and covered up with false cheer. Callie tries to ignore it but as her mom gazes at the wedding picture that Callie brought in for comparison, Callie finally demands to know what is up. Her mom tries for a moment to pretend that nothing is wrong but Callie knows better, and points out that she's been bending over backwards to make her mother comfortable. Her mom's hackles go up and she points out that she didn't ask for anything, but Callie goes on that she's getting married in a church for her. That sends her mom over the edge and the truth comes out: she's appalled and disappointed by her daughter having a lesbian wedding and also having a baby out of wedlock. [Editor's Note: No mention of the fact that this is Callie's second wedding? And her first was an impulsive elopement? Isn't that almost equally bad? -- Angel] It's now 1963 again, apparently. Callie is pretty blown away by all this and points out that her mom is an attorney, a professional woman out in the world who knows and even works with other gay people. But that doesn't make a difference, and after a moment her mom tells her how devastated she is to know that Callie is going to go to hell because of how she lives her life. Callie cries out but there's not much she can say to defend herself against her mother's religious beliefs. Not content to have told Callie she's eternally damned, she declares that Callie isn't a bride, she's not the mother of a bride, and this isn't a real wedding. She then adds that she can't stay any longer, and she stands up and leaves. Callie is both furious and terribly hurt, but she tries to hold it together as she sits there in her veil.
It appears to be the middle of the night, and Arizona finds Sefu sitting in the hall outside of his brother's room. He admits that he can't sleep, and every ounce of his being is radiating sadness. She sits down to him as he tells her how scared he is of losing his only brother. Arizona understands, but what is there to say when the kid is about to have an extremely complicated heart surgery? Rather than make any guarantees, she just sits with him.
Stark finds Arizona in the cafeteria, stirring up a giant bowl of what looks like yellow cake batter or cornbread. Yes, please! With a sneer he gives her hell for not answering her pages and giving him post-op reports on Asha because she's cooking instead. April isn't very good at being mad or standing up for herself but Stark is forcing her to learn quickly, and she gives him all of the info he needs to know, including reminding him that she knows and followed the protocol for checking herself out after being exposed to HIV-positive blood. He prompts her about what she is stirring and she explains that this is a corn porridge like what Asha might eat at home, and she found the recipe online so that once Asha finally decides she's ready to eat, she'll have something familiar and not some disgusting, processed American hospital food. Heck, I'm used to it and I still would rather have this porridge than disgusting hospital food. April's not a yeller but she gets close as she finishes that while she can't make Asha talk, she can make her some food and unless Stark has more insults he needs to unload, she's busy. Stark just stares at her, not sure what to make of the little heartbreaker in front of him.
Once Arizona gets home, she and Callie talk with Callie's dad, who is rather devastated about what went down with Callie and her mom, but he can't get her to see reason. Her mom has apparently planted herself in the car like a toddler having a tantrum, but Callie manages to stay calm and tells her dad he has to go. He protests but she insists that he needs to go now so she doesn't start crying and make him feel even worse. He's troubled, but he follows Callie's wishes, gives her a big hug, and goes, while Arizona stands with her for support.
The morning, Meredith comes down for breakfast at Chez Grey and finds Alex eating cereal at the table and ignoring her completely. After she tries a few times to get him to respond, he just tells her that she wanted him to shut up, so that's what he's doing. Childish, yes, but he's also dead serious and seems to be making his point; Mere can't take it and finally walks over and defends that she didn't change any data or falsify anything in the trial. That may be true, but Alex guesses that she did switch out the syringes so that Adele could get the medicine and Mere can only stare at him, which confirms his suspicions. Meredith seems to be arguing with herself as much as with Alex as she tells him that nothing she did will change any results or affect how effective the drug might be. Unfortunately for her, Alex won't be swayed by anything she says and I rather doubt the FDA will either since I feel certain someone will notice pretty quickly when reading the data that the wrong number patient got the medicine. Alex points out that this will finish Seattle Grace as a research institution and will affect every doctor there because of it. But what really cuts into Mere is when he tells her that he's a lot of things, but not a liar, and he thought she wasn't either. She's livid but she stays calm as she asks if he's going to tell Derek, who walks in on cue and wishes them good morning. Alex takes off for work while Mere stares at his empty chair; thankfully for her Derek is so happy about both Zola and the trial that he seems not to notice whatever weirdness keeps going on between his wife and his roommate.
Callie is looking at her dress and her shoes, and while her hair is up in rollers her makeup is all done and she looks STUNNING. Seriously, I'm not sure what's different or amped up for the wedding but she succeeded in following every makeup artist's advice that on your wedding day, you should just look like the most awesome version of yourself, instead of trying anything crazy different. Mark comes in and she asks if she can borrow anything since she's already set with the old, new and blue, but he just tells her calmly that he got a call from Father Brooks. His wife was in an accident and while she is fine, they are at the ER and he can't make it to the wedding. Callie reminds Mark how hard it was to find a minister who would marry them in the first place, but Mark tells her that Brooks gave him some numbers and they can call around. He's staying super calm and level, like he's dealing with a skittish wild animal, but the news is the last straw for Callie. She just gives up, tells him not to bother since the wedding is off, and then she wanders into her bedroom and shuts the door.
Jackson is telling Richard about poor Mouse J, who, he says, "took a turn for the worse." Seriously, in the shot from earlier I thought Mouse J had croaked and somehow mummified -- what I saw looked like a bar of soap crudely carved into the form of a tiny, literally petrified, rodent carcass. However, it seems that Mouse J is actually still alive, and Jackson ran some tests on him to see if he could figure out what happened. After showing Richard an x-ray and a CT with nothing visible on them, and admitting he did an MRI too, Richard starts to freak out about the cost. But Jackson insists he look at the MRI and as Richard comments on the few things he can see, Jackson explains that the problem is just where the device is placed, not how it functions, and that if they move it Mouse J might still have chance to run on his wheel another day.
Alex succeeded in finishing Meredith's transformation from capable doctor to jumpy mess, and she's freaked out when she gets a page from Derek. She finds him holding Zola and adorably introduces the two of them, and then hands Zola over to Mere so that he can so a few quick tests to make sure she's doing well after the surgery, which she is. Mere just asks why he paged and when Derek sends out the nurse and tells her to be honest, she fears the worst and starts to say that if Alex told him anything... seriously, she's going to give herself away way before the FDA can find her out, at this rate. But Derek is too smitten to notice. He just cuts her off and suggests, "Let's adopt this baby." Mere is left literally gaping at him but Derek insists he is serious, and that when he held her the day before and she stopped crying, he felt something different than he'd felt with any baby before, and he couldn't imagine her being with anybody else. He points out that Zola needs a family, and they have been trying to start one. Meredith actually smiles at the idea but she still needs to sit down over the shock of it all. Zola just coos in her arms as she does, though, and her cuteness is so far off the scale that I think she's going to win Mere over in about two seconds flat.
It turns out that Chandra Wilson directed this episode, which I'm sure is why she's not in it that much. But when she does show up, she certainly makes the best of it. She finds Callie lying on the sofa in her unlocked apartment, totally defeated. She's got the video baby monitor in one hand, showing Sofia sleeping, and a wad of soggy tissues in the other. She tells Bailey that she knows why she was sent over but that it doesn't matter because the wedding is off; her mom was right, it's all a joke. Though she can only speak in a monotone, she manages to keep cutting Bailey off so she can continue her pity party -- she can't have a priest, has no minister, isn't going to be given away by her dad and it's not legal, so what is the point? She's thoroughly convinced that nothing about the wedding is real, and then finally stops so that Bailey can speak.
We all know that Bailey is the Queen of Awesometown, and when she finally can answer Callie she lives up to the title with aplomb. She assures Callie that she doesn't need those things to make it real, and that the church is anywhere she wants it to be because God is inside her. Gently, she tells Callie that her mom and the church just haven't caught up to God yet, and Callie finally starts to cry. Bailey continues that her mom might never catch up, but that's okay, because if Callie is willing to stand up in front of her family, friends and God and commit herself to the person she loves, then that is truly a marriage, and that's all that matters. Callie finally smiles. Bailey adds that by way of comparison, she got legally married to a man in a church, and look how well that turned out! She then lets out a chuckle that's just the tiniest bit scary -- it's clear she's still dealing with things herself -- but her talk seems to have done the trick.
Mark walks in to the OR where Arizona and Teddy are working, and as Cristina knew would happen, Lexie is helping with the repair while Cristina gets to provide suction. Teddy goes in to repair some small defect and Lexie asks if she's going to use a particular blade, but Cristina can't seem to stop herself and replies that she's just going in blind. The tone of her voice implies that Teddy is nuts to do it this way, and there's a lot of dramatic music and pointed looks over surgical masks, but then Teddy finishes and Lexie gets to tie it off. I think the hope is that Cristina might realize that Teddy does know what she's doing, even when Cristina might do something different. Just then Bailey walks in to the scrub room and waves to get Mark's attention; when she does she grins and gives him the O.K. sign of success.
Owen and Stark are going over Asha's scans and it sounds like the surgery was successful. Once they are done, Stark decides to speak to Owen about April. He admits that he almost never gives formal feedback and when he does, it tends to be negative. I suppose at least it's good that he knows himself? Because he doesn't seem to regret that this is his pattern. But this time, he's going against the grain and tells Owen he's recommending April as Chief Resident. He tells Owen that she goes above and beyond and sees the patient as a whole person rather than just a list of symptoms, and you can't teach that. In a shocking display of sincerity, he finishes that the hospital would be lucky to have her in that position. Owen seems as surprised as anyone to hear Stark actually say something nice about another person, especially an underling, but he thanks him for the input.
Richard and Avery are looking at now obviously not-dead Mouse J, and Avery pets his head while they try to will him back to good health after fixing the position of his device. While they wait, Richard compliments Avery's work and dedication to the project, which hopefully will lessen the griping for a while and give us back the pretty face we know and love. Mouse J then twitches, and then after a moment springs back to normal. The guys cheer and (very awkwardly on Richard's part) high-five and Richard tells Avery that if he keeps this up he might get his own slow clap one day. I think I'm going to start making that a part of my everyday life. While TV and movies have no shortage of it, the real world I feel is sadly lacking in slow claps, so I'm going to start congratulating people that way. Found some info we've been searching for at work? Slow clap. Meticulously alphabetize the filing? Slow clap. It's going to catch on, I'm sure.
Mark knocks on the door to the girls' bedroom and calls out that the babysitter is there, he looks great in a suit (he's very much not wrong about that) and it's time to go. Interestingly, he's actually there to pick up Arizona rather than Callie, but she walks out of the bathroom with still-wet hair, in tears. By way of explanation she tells Mark the story of when she came out to her brother, and how he asked if this meant she would marry "a chick." When she told him yes, he said, "I'm going to dance so hard at your wedding." She's devastated because now that day is here but her brother isn't here to share it, and then basically tells Mark that the reason her dad scheduled every day down to the minute was to keep everyone from having to grieve. Right now, though, she just needs a moment to miss her brother. Mark just nods and then opens his arms towards her; after a second she goes into them and he holds her and lets her cry. It's a sad but really touching moment between the two, to see how far the two of them have come with each other that Mark can be there for her and Arizona can actually let him.
Meredith and Derek are facing a mountain of adoption paperwork, and Meredith seems pretty overwhelmed that, "Let's adopt this baby," turned into such an intimidating pile of forms so quickly -- and these are just to see if they are suitable to adopt in the first place. But when Derek tells her they don't have to do this, Meredith melts and says that she wants to, and that Zola could be their little girl. They've done a wonderful job having Meredith slowly grow up and making her a likable character and deserve kudos, because I could never, ever imagine that the show was going to get to this point with her and if they did, I would never have thought it would be believable. Derek tells her they'll take the process one step at a time, and he sees one thing they could check off their to-do list today. Mere looks at where he is pointing and smiles, but is serious when she reminds him she doesn't want to do "that." When Derek says it's for the baby, though, she agrees.
And that brings us to the biggest shocker of, I would argue, the entire season: Meredith and Derek walk hand-in-hand to see a judge and get legally married.
They happen to be getting married right at the same time as Callie and Arizona, and Bailey walks up the aisle looking gorgeous in a purple dress and mumbles to herself that she could have kept her mouth shut. The setting is gorgeous -- they seem to be in some sort of park and large ribbons of fabric are set up almost like a tent over where Bailey is standing with some musicians playing. But weren't she and Arizona getting married in a church? Callie did mention at the rehearsal that there would be an altar. This is quite a glamorous set-up for being thrown together in a single day. Regardless, it's a beautiful spot for a wedding. Mark walks Bailey along and tells her she's going to do fine. Fine at what? Why, OFFICIATING THE WEDDING. Because she ROCKS. Arizona is first to walk down the aisle and is escorted by The Colonel; she looks beautiful in a strapless dress with flowered skirt. Callie is , and her escort is a really appropriate stand-in since her dad can't be there -- Mark leads her down the aisle and is the one to give her away. She looks great in a satin dress with sparkly, sheer, elbow-length sleeves and the veil she had made to look like her mother's.
Meredith and Derek's wedding is a total contrast to the beautiful, girly production in the park but both of the ceremonies are perfectly tailored to the couple taking part. Bailey starts the ceremony for Arizona and Callie, and there are lots of happy grins from the couple and the guests alike; it's very romantic. But Derek and Meredith are just as happy about taking this step as our other couple, and they smile at each other as the judge walks them brusquely through their ceremony. He stamps their paperwork and hands each of them a pen to sign their way into marriage while Arizona and Callie kiss, and Bailey pronounces them wife and wife.
Their reception takes place that evening under a big tent in the park, and a giddy April takes pictures as the ladies have their first dance. Owen and Cristina are cuddling as they watch the happy couple and he asks her how it went with Teddy, but they are interrupted by Alex who says that his date couldn't make it because she got stuck delivering a baby... who got stuck during delivery. Har, har. I keep forgetting that the show is trying to make Lucy happen and I find I enjoy it much more without her. Avery and Lexie drift over and Avery brags about his mice and his new standing in the race for Chief Resident. Owen adds that April is also very much a contender. Alex, realizing he can't rest on his African laurels, then lifts the drink out of Owen's hand and points out that he's doing a surgery in the morning on one of the kids, and Alex wants to make sure Owen at his peak for that. He's just looking out for the kids, you know.
Cristina wanders off while all of the Chief Resident talk is going on and goes to sulk by herself at the bar. She's joined by the Chief, who is having a coffee and wants to know when they are going to cut the cake. Richard then starts musing about the great work the residents have all been doing as they compete for Chief Resident. After a moment he casually adds that he had always assumed she would be the frontrunner, but it just goes to show you can't count anyone out. While he acts like he's talking about the weather, I think he's actually trying to light a fire again under Cristina to get her to solve her shit and get back to work. He didn't become Chief of Surgery for nothing -- his method works and Cristina is murderous. After he leaves, Teddy walks up to get another drink and Cristina can't handle it anymore. She asks Teddy if she wants a real apology. Teddy, however, does not, and she tries to go back to her date.
Cristina's reputation as The Best has been threatened, though, and so she won't let it go and chases after Teddy. In this super-appropriate environment of a wedding reception, Cristina yells that she's sorry that she's so good that Teddy is threatened and that her procedure was the one saved Callie's life. She fights back tears as she talks about having been on the sidelines for the past three months, and I'd say that this "apology" is doing a way better job at ruining her chances for Chief Resident than her stretch on the sidelines has done. She finishes by assuring Teddy that she couldn't be more sincere than she is right now. Teddy's torn up by all of it but stands firm and tells Cristina that even with all this, she still doesn't understand.
She leaves a baffled and angry Cristina and heads back to her date; once at the table she downs an entire glass of champagne in one fell swoop. She and Andrew stare at each other a moment and then he tells her that he just took a permanent job at a hospital in Germany. She's taken aback but quickly composes herself and tells him sincerely that it is a great opportunity, but that isn't all he has to say. He tells her that he accepted only on the condition that they find his talented surgeon girlfriend a job there too. Suddenly, hottie secret husband seems like a teensy detail she maybe should have mentioned earlier. Andrew continues that he never saw himself settling down until now, and he wants to do it with her. She's stunned, and he slides a new, full glass of champagne her way to help her digest the news. Meredith voiceovers about life throwing curveballs.
Back on the dance floor, the DJ announces that it's time for the father-daughter dance. Arizona is mortified that she forgot to cut this from the program but Callie is very zen about it all and insists that Arizona dance with her father. Mark continues his streak as substitute and tells Callie that he's a dad and he can dance, so he's going to dance with her. Have I mentioned again in the last few moments how happy I am that the three of them have figured out a way to coexist, at least for now? SO HAPPY. I am so happy to not be recapping the same argument over and over. And hey, it only took one of them nearly dying to accomplish it!
At the hospital, Derek is having his own father-daughter dance with Zola, who is cooing and sticking her tongue out and generally being the cutest baby in the entire world. Meredith grins as she watches him, and though she tries to get him to leave so that they can make an appearance at the wedding, she realizes Derek is too happy there and they aren't going to make it. Oh dude, then Zola gives this wide baby grin. And now Derek really is all McDreamy again. It's the power of the baby, I swear!
Callie is super happy, but after all this crap with her mom she deserves the awesome surprise that awaits her. Unexpectedly, her father cuts in on Mark so that he can dance with his own baby girl at her wedding like he's always wanted to do. I now have visions of her mom just sitting in the car, wondering when he will return, a la Miss Farrell on Mad Men.
We wrap up the episode with all of the fathers and daughters dancing happily, and a shot of the wedding cake with two little brides on top, and Meredith says that the universe has a funny way of making sure you wind up just where you belong. It's true, it does. I am also wondering if it has a way of revealing shady goings-on in clinical trials, since that's hanging like quite a cloud over Meredith's possibly new family.