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I love when shows do things like try to convince us that something has been going on all along that clearly hasn't. So, while Mark hasn't even been a doctor at Seattle Grace for two years, he's somehow been working on setting up a face transplant surgery for the last three. His patient is a really sweet guy who has no family, and friends that he has only met online are arriving to take care of him after it's over. They arrive early and he freaks out since he didn't want them to see his pre-op (lack of) face but manages to be convinced by the doctors that it will be okay. He lets his three friends see him, and of course they are amazing and love him no matter what the state of his face -- something that Izzie takes particular note of since she's trying to hide her cancer from everyone. The face transplant is successful and totally tear-jerking, and afterward it also convinces Lexie to kiss Mark in front of all of the other interns who have been total jerks about their rumored relationship. The interns don't really have any stones to throw, however, given that they have their own dramas going on that totally mirror some of the things our gang went through in their own intern year.
But back to Izzie: Cristina has been busting her ass to help her, and has managed to get Iz an appointment with a top oncologist. But Izzie ultimately flakes on the appointment and when Cristina confronts her about it, admits she's not sure she even wants to try and get treatment. She's worried about how her own friends will look at her and treat her, and is even afraid of surgery since she knows too well what it's really like, what her chances are, and how doctors can be callous to get themselves through the procedure. Cristina demands to know why Izzie even told her, then, so Izzie yells a whole lot and tells Cristina to just forget about it. Cristina can't really do that, though -- she's gotten her first solo surgery and has basically brushed off the patient while trying to set things up for Izzie. The woman whose hernia she is fixing calls her on it right before the surgery, and Cristina assures her patient that this is really important to her and she'll get her through it. Then, once her patient is asleep but before she takes her first cut, she announces to Bailey and Alex that Izzie has cancer. When she fesses up to Izzie about what she did, it's kind of a miracle -- Izzie actually thanks her, and as Bailey has told Meredith and George, they all help Izzie go from being a doctor to being a patient.
Derek has spent the whole day getting drunk at the trailer, so Bailey sends Callie to go get him back. Callie starts talking about a patient who she killed and winds up feeling like crap and getting drunk with Derek; when she doesn't show back up at the hospital, Bailey sends Hunt after both of them. Of course, he tells his own story and also winds up in the pathetic drinking party. Bailey finally admits to Richard what she did, so he goes after all three of them and when he arrives, Derek yells at him for being selfish in telling Meredith about the ring. Derek then proceeds to actually blame his horrible behavior, including batting away the ring and yelling at Mere, on the Chief. But the Chief doesn't accept it and yells at least a bit of sense back into Derek so that Derek finally admits he was an asshole. Richard assures him that he can fix his life, and says he'll be there for Derek when he is ready to come back to work. Derek then calls Meredith, and when she arrives at the trailer that evening he tells her that he loves her. He then asks if she would still love him if he wasn't a surgeon and she tells him... no! But of course it's not so cold-blooded as it sounds -- she tells him about Izzie's cancer and that he's one of only a handful of surgeons with any hope of saving her life, and that she couldn't love someone who would throw that talent away. It's nauseating, but I'll admit it was also rather well done. And so the circle is complete: Meredith leaves Derek with Izzie's scans, and he finally pulls them out and starts looking at them, which presumably means he'll come back to work at least for a day to try and be the god he's supposed to be.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!"Surgeons aren't known for being warm and cuddly." And their un-warm, un-cuddly leader, Cristina, is sitting at the kitchen table at Mere's, doing research with Izzie on Izzie's cancer. "They're arrogant, impatient, mean as often as not. To illustrate, Cristina crushes a poor little pot of flowers as she puts down a pile of papers but she tells Izzie that though the rates of survival are bad with radiation and chemo, a metastasectomy might be the answer -- they could cut it out. Izzie then shuts her up as Alex walks in and Mere's voice continues, "You think they wouldn't have friends, 'cause who could stand them?" Alex asks what they are hiding and thinks it's some sort of cool surgery, and when Izzie lies that it's nothing he points out that if it's a cool surgery he'll get it since he's already flown solo. "You're still in training wheels." Then he kisses her. Aw, I love it when my boyfriend insults me on his way out the door in the morning. Cristina asks if Izzie is sure she doesn't want to tell Alex, and Izzie is sure. Cristina then tells Izzie to read all of the research she's done before her oncologist appointment that afternoon -- Cristina pulled all the strings she could to get an appointment with the best one in the hospital. Mere then sweeps in wondering why Cristina is there, since Meredith is totally fine. Both of the girls are confused because I don't think they expected Meredith to make this all about herself, but Cristina reminds Mere she's not fine, and Mere agrees that she'd be fine if she knew Derek was fine. Izzie then gets up to go to work despite Cristina's thinking she should call in sick on account of her being sick. But when Mere reminds them there's a big surgery today, Izzie just runs out after her to Cristina's disbelief.
"But surgeons are like a bad cold: nasty, but persistent." Bailey walks up to the Chief to ask him something but he interrupts her twice to ask first Mark and then Meredith if they've seen Derek, which they have not. Meredith adds that she has not heard from him in three days and adds with a grim smile that no, she will not go back out there again. The Chief turns back to the board and as Bailey glares at him, Callie wonders who moved her surgery. When she asks, Richard ignores her too and walks away as Bailey tells her not to try. "He's a wreck, he's disintegrating before our very eyes. That's why men die earlier than women." They comment that the board is a mess, and Bailey says that Richard can't lose Shepherd -- she'd go out and try to get the neuro god herself, but she's too busy and he won't answer his phone. She then gives Callie a very pointed look, and Callie realizes that Bailey wants her to try. Though she protests first that she doesn't "do" the woods (my kind of girl) and second that she barely even knows him, Bailey says that they are both surgeons and Callie has to remind him that they've all been there and all come back. Callie, defeated, calls Bailey a bully and as Bailey turns she looks incredibly satisfied and mumbles to herself, "I wouldn't do it if it didn't work so well."
The residents are all walking their interns to the big surgery that Mere referred to earlier. We cut back and forth so they each have a part in explaining that the patient was hit by a drunk driver 12 years earlier and has horrible facial damage -- no nose and lips, so they call him "Blowhole." He's had tons of surgeries that haven't helped, so today they are doing a face transplant, which has only been done four times before. Blowhole had to go through tons of psychological tests to make sure he could handle it, and there is a huge chance of rejection, infection, or any number of other "-tions." As Izzie hears one of her interns mention the nickname, she angrily tells him to never speak again. They then all line up in front of the patient's bed and try not to gape, some more successful than others. Meredith VO's over the stares, "Surgeons. Nasty, aggressive, unstoppable. Just the kind of people you want on your side when you're really screwed. We are treated to a shot of the patient, David, and he really does have a gaping hole where half of his mouth, cheek, and nose used to be.
Mark stands to a monitor showing David's face and explains that Hunt will retrieve the donor face, and that they are replacing 70% of David's face, and they can see what's currently missing on the monitor. David points out that they can also see it on him, so right off the bat we're endeared to him. They are using a particular technique and when Hunt asks why that instead of something else, Lexipedia of course knows the answer and then an answer to another of Mark's questions. The other interns visibly bristle when Mark compliments her. He then asks David if he has any questions, and David wants to know what the donor looks like. Mark has seen him and tells David he'll be satisfied; David realizes that he'll be satisfied just with a face, period. "If I end up anything above a 'point and stare' freak, I'm gonna call it a success."
Outside, Hunt grabs Alex to help with the face harvest, and Mark picks Izzie and Little Grey to help out, to even more agitated mumbles this time also from the other residents. Cristina tells Izzie she might not have time to scrub in but Izzie brushes her off. Ryan and the other interns start to talk about what Lexie might have done for Mark the night before to earn the honor, but Izzie immediately turns and yells at them so they shut up, and she storms off leaving Lexie to finish the chart. Bailey comes up and assigns a disappointed Mere and George to pre-ops and post-ops, explaining that since half of the attendings are busy with the face surgery they need strong residents to take over the pre- and post-duties. She then tells Cristina that she's with Bailey, moving to the big leagues: solo surgery. She'll be fixing an old woman's hernia. Mere turns to her and whines, "Congratulations. I know I should seem more enthusiastic but I'm not that big a person." Cristina forgives her and George asks Mere if it's wrong to have hatred in your heart. Of all the people, George probably earns that right the most given the shit he takes each day.
Cristina meets her patient, Ms. Sully, who is a sweet, slightly scatterbrained woman. Cristina asks if she has any questions and she digs through her purse for a list she made with her friends, who were all on a European vacation without her. She likes to chat and I'll admit that I was tense from moment number one knowing how Cristina is, well, a robot. Cristina waits patiently until she gets a call on her cell phone and begins to argue with someone about how Izzie (not using her name in front of the interns) is stage four and needs to see a particular doctor. She then tells Ms. Sully that she's sorry, and she'll answer her questions when she comes back for the exam. As she walks out, Ms. Sully looks a little bit nervous despite her efforts at being cheerful; this makes me even tenser for her.
Callie arrives at Derek's trailer and if I'm not mistaken, it looks like she drove up in a vintage powder-blue car that only ups her cool factor even more, if possible. She asks Derek if it's not a little bit early for the beer he's swigging and when Derek says she sounds like his mom, Callie shoots back that she met and liked Derek's mother. He asks if Richard sent her but isn't surprised to hear it was Bailey, and Callie removes a pizza box so that she can sit down. This is my first episode of GA on my gorgeous, wonderful, shiny new HDTV and what I want to say to the makeup department is -- put the makeup down when you're doing up Sara Ramirez. She's a gorgeous woman but right now all I want to do is reach in and wipe some of it off. She doesn't need it! She's hot! Now back to the scene at hand -- she sits down and tells Derek she's been where he is now, and tells a horrible story about the time she performed a knee replacement and that when he had shortness of breath she put him on blood thinners (it makes sense why, I'm just not doctor enough to know why that is) to help. It turns out, however, that his problem was something else entirely, he was bleeding internally, and because of the blood thinners he died and Callie has to live with it each day. She's gutted just retelling the story and Derek asks how she lives with it. It first seems like he's trying to make her feel like shit and he gets angry when she starts to talk about malpractice, growling that he wants to actually know how she herself manages to get out of bed knowing what she's done, presumably so he himself could do it. With that question, it's no wonder she just asks him for a beer.
Mere tells Cristina as they walk down the hall that what's killing her is not knowing what's going on -- basically, not knowing if she's been dumped or not. She realizes Cristina isn't listening as she texts away on her phone and Cristina gives her a distracted apology, but Mere sing-songs that it's fine. Cristina's got a solo surgery and GI Joe which make for a charmed life without time for Mere. Cristina admits to her that she has actually only kissed Owen. "It's like friends with benefits. Without the benefits." Mere is intrigued but they are interrupted by one of the interns, sporting a shiner and a cut under his eye that he hasn't even bothered to wipe up. Seriously? A couple more interns get names (or at least their names are used enough to stick) so I will finally use them -- this is Pierce. He leaves and Mere asks if they ask but Cristina is against it. "No. Because he might tell us."
Alex and Hunt then do the face removal surgery and I'm going to choose this time to once again recap by sound alone. I only saw enough to see a forehead pulled back, but that's enough for me. You guys are good with the makeup and effects. I get it. There's a whole lot of sucking sounds as they work on him, and Alex comments how weird it will be that someone will be walking around looking just like this poor guy. Richard explains -- and this was helpful because I'd never thought about it -- that David won't look exactly the same because of different bone structure and Hunt adds that his mannerisms will also be totally different so the family would never recognize this face on David. Hunt finishes and has Alex pull up the face so that they all can see -- it's basically a sheet of skin with two eye holes, two eyebrows and a nose and looks fake enough that I could watch -- and Alex proclaims it "awesome."
Mere is checking out a patient with Pierce, and the woman keeps staring at the open wound on his face. Seriously, how would this even be legal? Intern Megan then comes in and when George asks her to do something sees that she is sniffling and crying. Mere tries to ask the patient a question when Stinky/Two/Steve comes in with an ice pack on his bloody hand -- clearly we have just found Pierce's puncher. Mere tries to ask another question and the patient apologizes for not listening but points out the bloody, emotional gang in front of her and asks if they are supposed to be doctors. Without batting an eyelash George comments that they are going to reserve judgment on that for now and the patient accurately comments, "Freakshow!" No, I argue soap opera. Freakshow was Izzie and the ghost sex.
Meredith and George whisper with each other and stare down the hall at the intern drama -- Pierce looks pissed and is trying to talk to Megan while shoving Steve out of the way. George logically figures they have to talk to them but Meredith comes up with a novel excuse -- they are professionals, and this dispute is clearly personal so they should leave it be. Also, if they dealt with this they'd miss watching the face transplant and Cristina's surgery. George agrees that this is a good point, but both are clearly just grasping for any excuse to not take charge. They walk off, and Bailey looks around a computer monitor where she's been working with a, "What the hell?" look on her face at the retreating residents.
Mark and the gang are going over some pre-surgery prep with David and as Mark reminds him he needs to take all his meds, David cuts him off to finish Mark's own sentence about the risk of infection and rejection, reminding him good-naturedly that Mark already drilled this into his head. Lexie then asks if he has family coming to care for him and David admits he has no family but that his friends are coming. He's never met them in person but they met online in a chat room for orchid lovers and he gestures to an orchid at the end of the bed that at first I thought was a poor dead plant. He's excited to meet them and show off his new face after his surgery. Izzie then brings over a little plastic device and explains that it will help his lungs after surgery and he should practice on it now. One still-nameless intern has him sit up, take three easy breaths, and blow... into that... Nameless Girl Intern finishes his sentence with a giggle, "Hole." It's totally inappropriate but probably made even worse by Izzie hollering at them to get into the hall right now.
Izzie is in the hall, ripping the interns new ones, when Mark comes out, pointedly closes the door to David's room and then shoos the interns away before asking Izzie what the hell is going on. She's totally over-emotional as she yells about the interns making jokes at the expense of the patient while in the room. George is standing a little ways away and stops to watch the conversation, clearly concerned. Izzie goes off some more but Mark tells her that while the interns were inappropriate, so is her outburst now. He reminds her that this case is his baby and he's spent three years preparing for it. Let's just ignore the fact that we've been watching these characters for less than 2 calendar years and that Mark hasn't even been here that entire time, as well as when we saw him all concerned that people think he just does nose jobs and nothing substantial. At any rate, he doesn't want her emotional life getting in the way and he boots her off the case. Izzie pleads that David needs her there so Mark says she can be there for him before and afterward but not for the surgery. He then warns her that she'd better get whatever is going on under control, and George furrows his brow some more from a little ways away.
Cristina heads back to her patient's room (IMDB kindly tells me her name is Kendall, since in two viewings I never caught this) where Kendall has found her questions. Cristina is completely distracted and Kendall is clearly nervous about this, which seems to make her even chattier. She says that one of her friends on vacation is a retired surgeon, and he helped her come up with some questions. Cristina disdainfully reads the first one aloud, which is if she will finally be able to pick up her grandkids, and then asks incredulously if a doctor wrote that question. Even for Cristina, this is harsh. Kendall laughs, she's far too nice, clearly trying to make up for Cristina's brusque manner. She says that other friends helped her as well and she added her own questions. It's at this point that I wondered where any family was, since presumably she has some that gave her said grandchildren, but that wouldn't really fit this storyline so we're to leave it be, I presume. Kendall then asks one of her own questions, which is, "Will it hurt?" Cristina distractedly tells her she'll be anesthetized and when the woman asks about afterward, Cristina will only tell her that it's normal post-op pain before her phone rings. She shoves Kendall's questions in her pocket and Kendall's face falls while Cristina seems to have gotten Izzie the appointment she wanted.
Izzie and George go over their various patients and then George tells Meredith that something is wrong with Izzie, though he doesn't know what. Mere isn't in the mood to hear it -- she tells him that they already have enough intern drama and they don't need resident drama. "If it's a problem, she'll tell us. Until then, just ignore it!" Her ostrich impression really is great today, what with all of her sticking her head in the sand. They then see Steve run by, which Bailey notices as well. Mere continues to ignore it but Bailey demands to know what's going on. When Mere gives her lame "It's personal," excuse, Bailey chuckles and asks if Mere thinks Bailey wanted to be involved with all of their intern drama. George actually has the gall to say that they weren't this bad, so Bailey ticks off, "Getting married in Vegas, shacking up with attendings, cutting LVAD wires. You don't have to like it but you have to manage it." Once again she proves herself to be the smartest woman in the hospital but Meredith just promises they have it under control. She is quickly proven 100% wrong; however, when Megan runs down the stairs sobbing, and from above Steve yells after her that he loves her and then mows down a patient when he tries to run after her. To be fair, he does stop and check on the guy rather than follow his weeping beloved. Bailey just turns and gives the two residents a very pointed look.
They pull the three interns aside, and Mere does her best Bailey impression when she orders them to all cut it out. George is playing Good Cop to Mere's Bad Cop, and when Steve tries to talk George quietly assures him that he shouldn't talk while Mere is talking. Mere yells at them for scaring the patients and making the hospital and the residents look ridiculous and George jumps in to shut up Megan when she tries to protest. Mere orders them to stay away from each other, and if she sees a glance or a single tear it's over for them. They all walk away and Mere has to scream after them not to go together before turning to George and admitting how good that felt. I love that there is zero recognition that she was at least this bad if not worse during her intern year.
Bailey has paged Hunt since he's done with the face removal surgery, and has a favor to ask of him. He wants to watch the transplant surgery but Bailey thinks that shouldn't be a problem if he can drive and talk quickly. She then explains that she wants him to go to the woods to talk Derek into coming back and tells him he might also run into Callie, "With a flat tire. Or a broken heel. Or an axe-wielding serial killer." Hunt laughs but quickly realizes that Bailey is serious as she explains that she sent Callie out there and now Callie isn't returning any calls. Bailey apparently has been hiding from us that she loves daytime TV, and so she's imagining some fantastic scenarios about where Callie could be. Hunt just looks at her like she's insane as she tells him to head out there and bring them back before the Chief notices any of them are gone. When he tries to point out that Richard already has noticed Derek's absence she cuts him off to remind him that he survived a war and can certainly do this. He knows he can too, he just doesn't want to. At this, she raises her eyebrows at him and stares until he comments, "People don't really say no to you, do they." She tells him that they don't when she says 'please.' "I'M SAYING PLEASE." He nods and heads out.
And now, get out your Kleenex -- you'll need it on and off for a little while. Lexie announces that the transport is on their way and asks David if he's ready for surgery; he's been ready for the last twelve years. Lexie then asks again about his friends and when David tells her they're coming after the surgery, she tentatively tells him that they're coming now. Three people walk in -- two women and a man -- and very sweetly introduce themselves, saying that he probably recognizes them by the orchids they are each carrying. One of the women, Sheena, sweetly tells him that she hopes he doesn't mind their being there early, and the man adds that he thought they should be there through it all. Dave however has turned away, and in a panic orders them out of the room, calling them strangers. Sheena protests, saying that they've chatted every night for years, but Dave yells that they don't know him or anything about him. Still turned away, he continues to scream to get them out of the room and he begins to cry.
Izzie is then eating lunch and moping when Cristina comes up to bug her about her appointment in 15 minutes, reminding her that it usually takes weeks to get in to see this person. She asks if Izzie looked at any of the research Cristina did but Izzie cuts her off and asks if she can just eat. Awesomely, Cristina tells her that she doesn't have time to just eat. Mere, George and Alex walk up on cue and Alex asks, "Time for what?" Searching for a suitable code, Izzie tells them it's an enema and Cristina points out that it's Izzie's enema. They banter back and forth about the "enema," Izzie saying that she decided it can wait. Cristina is caught between an imbecile and a hard place, since she's trying very hard to help Izzie and also struggling to keep the secret. When she reminds Izzie that enemas can be serious, George finally speaks up as the voice of reason and sternly asks Izzie what "enema" is code for. Izzie gets pissed and says it's her business before storming off. Mere, really taking the willful blindness to a new level, just remarks that this is a weird day.
Hunt has joined the pity party in the woods, and before we see him there we see his truck to what my not-very-car-knowledgeable self thinks is a classic Thunderbird. Callie rocks. Hunt tells his own sad story, about a time he treated an entire family that had been in a car accident. It turns out that the parents had massive internal injuries and both died that night, and it haunts him that maybe he could have moved faster or realized sooner and saved them. When he went out to tell the kids about their dad, he found the oldest trying to console the other two about their mom. Sadly he says he'll never shake the image of, "this 9-year-old boy trying to hold these two little ones -- his arms just not big enough." It's totally not supposed to be funny, and he's a good actor, but that still came out about as hokey as a line ever sounded. He tells Callie and Derek that he's not sure how he went back to work the day. "I think part of me never did." Derek's surprised he didn't talk about Iraq, because Derek totally knows him and has a right to point that out, sheesh. Hunt quickly tells them he doesn't talk about Iraq, and continues with his point, which is that he made himself get up and go back. Derek, showing off some of that blunt condescension that we love, tells Hunt that he must be dead inside because if he had let himself feel anything, he never would have gone back to work. Rather than point out that Derek is a pathetic drunk who doesn't know him, Hunt just takes the beer that Derek offers.
Cristina heads into the locker room since it seems that Izzie blew off the doctor's appointment that Cristina worked so hard to make. Izzie just demands to know why Cristina cares so much and baffled, Cristina shoots back, "Why DON'T you?" Seriously, I think that everyone knew that while Cristina is a robot she still has some good inside her and wouldn't actually just take Izzie's fatal secret and sit on it for kicks. Izzie brings up the nickname "Blowhole" and says that not only the interns but Alex were using that for David. She asks what they would call her: "Swiss cheese for brains?" Cristina tells her, "No, that's awkward and long. Blowhole is pithy." And the most awesome thing about that is I had the exact same reaction in my head. Izzie just declares that she won't be a piece of meat that everyone fights over and laughs about and zzzzzz. I'm sorry, I just am done with any sort of, "I'm going to keep my terrible secret," storylines because they're lazy and dumb and really, really cheap. There's plenty of good story to be had without having to watch Izzie have this dumb fit. Cristina points out that these are emotional problems and that's what Meredith or George are good for but Izzie tells her that she's not telling them, drop it, and by the way she might not even want treatment. Cristina just loses it, saying she'll tell everyone if Izzie doesn't -- that Iz doesn't get to just dump this on her. Izzie's afraid of the surgery because she knows too much about what it's like and how bad her chances are anyway. Finally, Cristina lets out a defeated laugh, demanding to know why Izzie even told her if she doesn't want her help? By the end of her question, though, you can hear a hint of desperate emotion. Izzie, however, doesn't care and just orders Cristina to forget she ever said anything and storms out. Cristina is left clutching her face, exuding an air of panic that she usually never even remotely shows.
David is hugging his knees to his chest while Mark sits in a chair to his bed and tells David that he has to call his friends back. David is still in prickly self-preservation mode and snaps that Mark is his surgeon, not his shrink, so he should just do that job. Mark, however, can't do that because part of the deal is that David needs a post-op support system and the ethics board wouldn't allow him to even do the surgery if that isn't in place. Izzie and Lexie watch sadly as David explains the dead-looking orchid at the end of his bed. To anyone who doesn't know the flower it looks ugly until you learn how it adapted and how strong it needed to be to survive. His friends had only ever seen a picture of that flower rather than Dave himself, and that's what he waited until he had his own face. He's heartbreaking as he admits, "People look away from me. Kids cry and adults cringe, they look away." Izzie is busy making this all about herself in her head while Lexie speaks up and points out that his friends didn't turn away nor did they cringe -- it was Dave who turned. She asks if she can call them back and Mark adds that if he wants the surgery, he needs to give them a chance.
Richard is in his office when Bailey makes a tentative approach and asks him how his mood is. He thinks a moment and offers, "Meager? Anxious?" but adds that he's excited about the face transplant. He starts to elaborate but Bailey cuts him off to ask if she's his therapist and he rightly reminds her that she asked. She then blurts out that she lost Hunt and Torres when she sent them off after Derek. She (very nicely, I think) wanted to solve the Derek problem for him (though let's face it, totally just so that her boss would listen to her again rather than just brushing her off) but admits she now made it three times worse. She figures the move is calling the police, "Because I'm half convinced they're all dead. On a spit. With a one-armed man turning them into shish-kabobs. Sir. It's my mind. It's just goes there." Richard looks confused, but I'm just daydreaming about how much I want to waste an afternoon eating junk food and watching soaps with Bailey.
Up in the gallery, various female interns are comforting Megan while Pierce sulks. Meredith consciously ignores the whole thing, instead talking to George and explaining that the surgery is late because of a problem with David, and they only have a few viable hours left for the face. George comments that Sloan must be freaking out, but he's interrupted when Steve walks into the gallery, Pierce calls him a homewrecker, and a fight breaks out. Meredith sends them all out except for Ryan, who is ordered to go with the residents.
They sit Ryan down on the stairs outside and George's Good Cop is really more of a Spineless, Wheedling Cop -- he begs Ryan to tell them what's going on and finally lays out that with the face surgery and then Meredith's best friend getting a solo surgery, they all have very little patience right now. Ryan tries to say it's not his place, which causes Mere to issue an ultimatum: he's going to tell them everything or he'll be doing every rectal exam and treating every infected abscess that comes through the doors in the future. George nods sagely to show she's not kidding, so Ryan finally starts talking and excitedly explains how Megan was with Pierce, broke up with him and slept with Steve, and then got back together with Pierce. Then Steve sent an email to everyone that he meant to send to just Megan about their sleeping together, because I know when I sleep with someone, the thing I like to do afterward is discuss it over email. Steve says he loves Megan, Pierce wants to kill him...George and Meredith nearly blind themselves with some heavy eye-rolling as Ryan decides to go back and start from the beginning and Mere slumps against the wall, clearly sorry that she had to ask.
It seems that Dave did call his friends but he's talking to Izzie, wondering why they would come back after what he said. Izzie tries to assure him that he was scared and just trying to protect them, like she is idiotically trying to do herself. Well, except that last part I added in since she didn't actually offer it up. She assures him that if they are his friends, they'll understand, as Lexie walks in with all three of them behind her. He turns and looks straight at them, admitting that he didn't want them to see him like this -- that the ugliness isn't him. Sheena walks up and says that he looks just like the nameofhisorchidicantfigureout, asking if the others see it. They chime in that the coloring is just the same but a very emotional Dave interrupts to say that if the surgery doesn't take he'll be even uglier than he is now. Sheena makes me reach for the Kleenex again as she tells him gently, "Please don't call my dear friend ugly. You're a survivor. And it's written all over your face." With that she leans in and kisses him while Izzie tries not to cry as she watches.
The pity party is still in full slump when the Chief arrives and demands to know what's going on -- Callie, at least, has the good grace to sit up straighter like a student who has just been reprimanded. He yells at Derek that they've all been there, but Callie points out that they already said that. Richard tries pointing out that they've all had tough losses, and that they then show up the day to try and save another life. Hunt and Callie point out that they tried saying that too, so Richard tries another tack. He reminds them that there is nothing they can do to stop death, they can only hold it at bay but eventually everyone dies. "And that's not on us." Angry that his moping has been interrupted, Derek reminds him that he botched a simple surgery on a pregnant woman and that he should feel bad about it. He then adds that Richard should feel bad for sending Meredith to him expecting a ring. When the Chief lamely says he was trying to help, especially since Meredith wanted to just leave Derek alone, Derek yells that he was trying to help himself. I hate to say it, but he's not entirely wrong. However, when Derek then says he hit the ring into the woods (well, grass, but who's counting) and growls, "You destroyed me," it's a little bit much. I think I'd have to choose Condescending Derek over Self-Pity Derek in "Death is Not an Option."
His friends in place, David has gone into surgery and it's time to put on his new face. In front of a huge crowd of doctors, Mark asks Lexie if she wants to do the honors with him; they both take a side of the face and he talks her through placing it onto David. He then compliments her work and they hear a laugh through the glass where the interns are doing a loving reenactment of what just happens. Lexie looks down, uncomfortable.
Richard follows Derek after he storms into the trailer and Derek starts literally screeching at him to get out and punches a wall to show how serious he is. Richard is finally acting like an adult this time, though, and says that while he's destroyed lives before ("several, in fact") Derek's is not one of them. He claims he sent the woman Derek loves to bring him back to his life and that it's all Derek to ruin things, he doesn't accept it. It's a pretty good dressing down, actually, as he says that he was drunk for years while Derek has only been drunk for days and that he knows Derek will need a friend when he comes out of the hole he's been digging. Richard will be there, and he adds that he hopes Derek comes out soon. He's finally broken through where others couldn't, and Derek lowers himself to sit on the bed and whispers that he doesn't think he can get her back. Richard asks logically if he's called, but Derek isn't sure what to say. Richard admits to Derek that he had an affair (though he doesn't mention with whom) and that Adele somehow found it in herself to take him back. "You can make your way back from anything." Derek nods as the music swells with hope.
Meredith and George are all in the bathroom with the interns, and George has taken the guys aside and actually started being helpful, telling them that this is only their first year and they won't make it if they turn on each other now. Megan then comes out of one of the stalls and hands a pregnancy test (!) to Mere. Okay, this part is slightly juicier than some of what Mere and Gang got up to last year. She orders them to never behave like this again, then sends Pierce to get an ice pack for his eye, Steve to get his hand stitched and x-rayed and Megan, "You... should... go to OB. Because yes, you are pregnant." With that punctuation, no one has anything else to say and the interns file out while George tells her admiringly, "That was very Bailey." As in most things, Bailey is the best person ever to look up to, this time in terms of dealing with soapy intern antics.
Cristina is then in her own OR and the anesthesiologist asks if she is ready. Kendall interrupts to say she needs one thing before she goes under, then proceeds to stand up for herself a bit. She says that Cristina didn't answer any of her questions and while Kendall understands that she is busy, she doesn't want to die. "I may just be a batty old lady to you and this may be a silly little procedure, but I need you to tell me that it's going to be ok. You're my surgeon, after all." Cristina's eyes say that she knows she deserves all of that and she's sorry, and she tells Kendall sincerely that it's not a silly procedure to her, and she'll get Kendall through this. Kendall is satisfied, and they put her under. Cristina stares down at the abdomen but the talking-to she just received seems to have gotten to her, and she waits a moment. She then looks up and in an even voice tells Alex and Bailey, "Izzie has stage 4 metastatic melanoma that has spread to her brain, liver and skin. She may only have months to live and she's resisting treatment." The eye acting is especially good throughout this whole scene -- Alex is totally stricken as Cristina adds that Izzie needs help, and Bailey looks like she's just been physically crushed. Having said that, Cristina is ready and asks for the scalpel to make her first cut. Alex, meanwhile, visibly reels from what he's just been told.
Mark goes in to check on David, whose head is covered in bandages, and tells him not to talk since it will only hurt. His friends are gathered around, holding his hands, and Sheena asks if he could see his face. Mark reminds them that it's early, and that the tissue will be swollen and bruised before it settles. Happily, though, he tells them that he'll give them a sneak peek. Izzie gets a mirror, and they all watch as Mark carefully peels away the bandages. Lexie smiles and they hand David the mirror. Sheena holds his hand and the others also hold on to him happily as he lifts the mirror, sees his whole face, and starts to cry. Izzie watches the display of friendship, but clearly still doesn't have the nerve to give her own friends the same credit.
Cristina walks outside that night and finds Izzie sitting on a bench. She pauses a moment and looks almost scared just for a second before she goes and sits down. With no preamble she announces, "Sometimes we fail but that's not always the case." Izzie knows this, so Cristina tells her that, "Blowhole has a new face!" She then starts to say that whatever the docs have to call him to get through the procedure... but Izzie cuts her off because she knows that too. With nothing else left but her point, Cristina tells Izzie that she told Alex and Bailey, who are now telling Mere and George. Izzie is totally stricken but Cristina defends that she couldn't do her job, and that Izzie came to her for help so that's what she did. "Because sometimes we win, Izzie, and I want you to fight." This whole hour has been such a departure for Cristina, but an amazing departure. She seems near tears as she adds, "For whatever that's worth I want you to fight." Izzie is also in tears and after a moment, quietly thanks Cristina. Cristina is surprised but sits back and then takes Izzie's hand. The pile of tissues on my coffee table is starting to reach an alarming state, but at least the cats are amused and have started batting some of it around.
Back inside the interns are all staring judgingly at Lexie. When Mark walks in she gives him an awkward look but after a moment of thought walks over and plants one massive kiss on his lips. Mark gives a happy, "Dr. Grey!" She announces that the interns think he's taking advantage of her and that Lexie is using him. But in the second accidentally humorous, totally clumsy and schmaltzy line of the episode she announces, "But they don't know us. They think that we're ugly, but I know that we're beautiful. And we can adapt to a hostile environment." Mark gazes after her as she walks away.
Mere has ventured out to the woods, and it seems that Callie and Hunt have finally sobered up and left. She's tentative, but Derek smiles and thanks her for coming. She thanks him for calling, and he tells her he loves her. She knows. Derek then asks her if she'd still love him if he wasn't a surgeon -- when she tells him no, he tries to take it like a man as she walks over and sits down to him with a bag of things. She then explains herself so she doesn't seem quite so cold-hearted, "No, because Izzie has skin cancer that's spread to her brain." Derek drops his head as Meredith explains that he's one of only 20 people in the world who could save her. "And I don't know if I could respect somebody that could walk away from a gift like that." Surprisingly well said, Mere! She asks him to then not walk away and pulls out the scans, admitting that the situation is pretty bad. They look at each other a moment and she seems to maybe lean in just a hair, but then she turns her back and goes to her car with one look back at him.
She then VO's: "Practicing medicine doesn't lend itself well to the making of friends." Izzie takes off her badge as Bailey, Alex and then Richard watch her from the doorway. Alex drops his head -- it's clear that his heart is totally broken to bits. "Maybe because life and mortality are in our faces all the time. Maybe because in staring down death every day, we're forced to know that life, every minute, is borrowed time."
While we don't hear what she says, we see Bailey tell George the news and he turns and starts to run towards his friend as she drops her head in anguish. Back at the trailer, Derek sits with his head in his hands. After a moment, though, he picks up the scans as Meredith goes on: "And each person we let ourselves care about is just one more loss somewhere down the line.
"For this reason, I know some doctors who just don't bother making friends at all. But the rest of us? We make it our job to move the line. To push each loss as far away as we can." Back at the hospital, Meredith ties Izzie's hospital gown while Alex puts on her bracelet and Cristina listens to her heart and gives a small smile. George runs in and he and Izzie have a Best Friends Moment before he smiles at her through his own tears. She gets into bed with the help of her friends and Cristina takes her wrist ostensibly to take her pulse, though it looks like it's her own way of once again giving Izzie a friendly touch. Izzie then sits forward and starts to talk as the others gather around. And while I seriously thought I was numb to any story involving Izzie Stevens, I just added the last bit to the tissue sculpture that's going on my coffee table, because that was seriously some well done heartstring-tugging right there.