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It's a miracle; after three seasons, a new calendar year is starting at Seattle Grace. But not a ton has changed for our fab five, at least not personally. And for poor George, they also haven't changed professionally. The other four are now residents and are also in charge of their own interns. Lexie Grey is on Cristina's team, and George is with Meredith. There's an awkward Meredith-Lexie meeting in the ambulance bay, but as they're escorting in multiple victims of a car crash, it's fairly brief (but annoying). Cristina gets a guy they think is dead until he takes a breath, and it turns out he's been internally decapitated. Alex gets the guy with a crushed knee who also turns out to have a psych disorder in which he eats everything around him, including scissors and spare change. Meredith gets the pregnant single mother whose arm is severed, and Izzie gets the deer that caused the accident. She also has a bunch of interns who think she's a lunatic, and while they're all awful themselves, she's not doing a lot to disprove this theory.
While they're all dealing with these various patients, there's naturally lots of behind-the-scenes drama. Derek tells Cristina that Burke has resigned from the hospital. Izzie bitches a lot about George ignoring her and eventually corners him to ask why he didn't say anything when she declared her love. Meredith is Meredith about having her estranged boyfriend and her sister who tried to pick him up in a bar working in the hospital at the same time. Alex wants an actual surgery (before he realizes that his patient has a taste for binder clips) and keeps trying to undermine Callie, who is struggling with a bunch of residents that don't listen to her. Bailey is mad about not being named Chief Resident herself, and George is struggling with his second first intern day. Ultimately, Lexie tells George to suck it up and they strike up the beginning of a friendship. Alex admits he misses Rebecca and Cristina admits she misses Burke in a rare but awesome moment between just the two of them. And George surprises Izzie by showing up at her front door and telling her he loves her too. I throw up a little. But the biggest news is that Derek and Meredith actually decide to officially break up…and then make it official with some break-up break-room sex. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously on Grey's Anatomy, pretty much all of Season 3.
The sun rises over Seattle and actually signifies something new -- a calendar year has now passed. Meredith's voice ushers us into this new phase: "In the practice of medicine, change is inevitable." The Chief puts his glasses on at his desk, clearly still Chief. "New surgical techniques are created, procedures are updated, levels of expertise increase." There's a whole mess of interns in the locker room; were there really this many when the fab five started out? "Innovation is everything. Nothing remains the same for long." That is, nothing except George starting over as an intern after failing his exam; he walks into the locker room with all the newbies. "We either adapt to change, or we get left behind." A group of four of the interns, including one Miss Lexie Grey, walk up to Cristina. She turns from her paperwork to look at them with disdain, and then announces, "I have five rules. Memorize them." I adore both the symmetry and the clear realization that Bailey was and is the most awesome resident ever as shown by the fact that she repeats the same rules they were given back when they were wee babies. I'm also kind of amazed that first-year residents get interns. I'm not familiar with the system so maybe this is normal, but it seems awfully soon to entrust the education of fresh faces to these four. It's never brought up as unusual, though, so on we go with their day.
Cristina naturally delivers rule one, to not bother sucking up as she hates them already. Cut to Izzie and rule two: answering all pages at a run. She then starts to walk, and her interns all hang back until she tells them glumly that they're supposed to follow her, and then they spring to action. Alex is walking his gang across the magical glass walkway and tells them their 36-hour shift starts now. He appears to have spent his time after the intern exam growing out his hair and cultivating a goatee. Meredith shows her gang (which includes George) the on-call room and tells them to get sleep when they can, adding that the sleep should not be with attendings. She's distracted herself, and George brings her back to the rules. Back to Cristina, Lexie asks about the fifth rule. Cristina menacingly tells them, "When I move, you move." It loses a bit of its punch, though, since her pager hasn't beeped and there's nothing to do. She finally just yells, "Go!" and they scatter.
The Fearsome Foursome is out in their hallway of abandoned beds and conferences. Cristina is playing with her name on her lab coat and announces that she hates her interns. Izzie in turn feels like a fraud, but Alex thinks he rocked it, and announces that he could be the new Nazi. Cristina rightly scoffs at his delusions of grandeur. George comes in needing to talk to Meredith, but he's interrupted by Izzie asking pointedly and jealously how his vacation was. He says it was fine and turns back to Mere, only to be interrupted by Izzie's stilted rambling about how she spent her time all alone and hasn't talked to him in 17 days. I'm stunned if Cristina and Mere seriously haven't started to suspect what's going on, as she's practically wearing a sign around her neck that says, "I slept with George and am very, very tortured!" She helpfully exposits that the non-wedding was 17 days ago and that Cristina took Mere on her honeymoon, making Alex snigger at the idea of a two-female honeymoon. Izzie continues that Alex went to see Ava, but he denies it and claims that he only drove in her direction, then corrects Izzie that her name is Rebecca. Cristina demands, "Why is everyone so tingly and hurt? I mean, I'm the one who was left at the altar." The others all pause and look at her and she continues that she's fine, she went to Hawaii and she snorkeled. If you've got to deal with a breakup, I think that's the best venue one could choose.
Izzie tries to question George some more but he maintains he needs to talk to Meredith. Just then a gaggle of interns head in and are chased away by the residents, hurling insults as they go. George takes this as his own cue to leave, and as Meredith insists they didn't mean him, he pumps his fist in the air, declaring, "I am an intern!" Cristina thinks he needs to learn how to deal with things as they are now, and Izzie mutters she's just glad he came back. I'm so wrapped up in their storyline that until Alex mentioned George failing his exam, I forgot that, besides Izzie, he had another, much better reason not to return to Seattle Grace. Izzie mopes that he won't even look at her. I am over this enough for both Izzie and George. Meredith and Cristina haven't seen their significant others, but maintain they are fine. Izzie notes that "You're either incredibly healthy or completely messed up." And then all of their pagers go off.
Bailey joins Derek, who notes that the interns are back. She stresses that they're now residents and she's now free, but she clearly is not actually glad about it. He follows her when she leaves and tells her that Cristina doesn't know, and Burke asked Derek to tell her. I'll save the non-suspense since we all know Isaiah Washington went on to more bionic pastures against his will: Derek needs to tell Cristina that Burke is gone for good. He asks for advice, and Bailey says honesty always works best. He agrees, and uses the moment to ask her out for a drink. She's surprised and fairly horrified at the idea, and guesses that he has no one to talk to with Burke and Addison both gone, and since "[he] and Grey aren't smelling each other in the elevators anymore." He denies it and goes to try and talk to the Chief, who as it turns out doesn't drink. The Chief tries to get Bailey to talk to him about the Chief Resident situation, but she avoids him cleverly by going to attend to incoming patients. Sloane shows up and expresses interest in a drink, which Derek now denies ever mentioning. He leaves, and Mark shakes his head, seeming both amused and sad.
Richard comes into the ER to tell everyone that three victims from a multi-car crash will be coming in, and they'll need everyone. Thank goodness they have approximately 85 interns hanging around. Callie asks him if there's anything she should do and, surprised, he offers up that she could save lives. Sometimes they need reminding there at Seattle Grace. She meant as Chief Resident, and he tells her to make sure her residents are set. It's at this moment that he notices none of them are there, and after Callie unhelpfully says she paged them, she asks Bailey about them. Bailey shrugs and offers, "When I page them, they come running!" Richard orders Callie to get the residents under control, so she turns on Bailey for making her look stupid. I feel like Callie was a lot more kick-ass when we first met her, but now that they have Izzie hating her and sleeping with her husband, they somehow also turned Callie into a whiny, pathetic, ineffectual leader. Looking back, I'm not sure when it took place, but it makes me sad.
The residents show up, Cristina looking for and not seeing Burke, and Callie screams at them to take charge of their interns. They actually listen, and Cristina orders hers off by referring to them as numbers. Mere laughs, and I realize that this is the first genuine smile she's had in a long time -- turns out, she looks kind of awesome when she's happy. George raises his hand, informing them that he does not respond to being called a number. Still smiling, Mere sends him outside to the ambulance. Alex orders his interns to stand against the wall until they're needed, and Izzie continues to try to be a teacher, telling them to expect a lot of action coming in. As she walks away, one of her interns mutters, "I heard she, like, freaked out and killed a guy and had to go on probation." Izzie hears him, and turns around, only to hear another reply that they're stuck with the dud. There was a time I'd have disagreed with that statement, but that time isn't right now.
Outside, Lexie notes that George is an intern again, but promises not to tell anyone. She then asks which one is Meredith, and is surprised to learn that George knows who she is. She also asks what Meredith is like, since apparently her dad won't tell her anything. Just then, Bailey comes out and shouts an order to Meredith herself, so that Lexie can see and stare meaningfully after her. Seriously, there are now about 20 people out there. The interns seem to multiply like rabbits.
Cristina gets to the first ambulance but finds out that the guy was dead at the scene and all they need is her to call it, which is a complete disappointment. Bailey is at the ambulance, where she's told the patient is a woman 35 weeks pregnant with one arm completely severed. Clearly in shock, the woman asks worriedly, "Did he say arm? My arm is gone? I really need my arm."
Alex gets Ambulance #3, a 45-year-old man with a knee injury. He helpfully explains that the first guy hit a deer in the road, the woman hit him, and then he hit the woman. This is important -- we know it's a no-fault accident, so we can feel for all the patients without having to hate Guy #1 for causing all this bloodshed. It's crucial to get these things set up so that our heartstrings can be appropriately tugged later. As Alex examines his knee, the guy says he's really hungry and asks for something to eat. The interns are completely baffled.
Cristina's about to call her disappointing dead guy's time of death when he takes a deep breath. Shocked -- and I'm sure delighted -- she springs into action. At the same moment, Meredith is running a stretcher inside when Lexie jumps in front of her to introduce herself as Mere's sister. Meredith finally stops moving to stare at her, and the lady missing one arm just kicks it comfortably while Lexie takes her moment in the doorway.
Meredith is looking after Armless Nancy when she sees Lexie through the window. She comments to George that the "dopey, wide-eyed one" there is her sister. She's surprised when George says he knows, and chastises him for not telling her. He just says, "I kind of had a lot going on." Or you could tell her you came specifically to do that and kept getting interrupted and shoved off, thereby maintaining a shred of the belief that you're a good friend. Izzie brings in her interns and asks if they can help, but it's too crowded already. Mark comes in to examine the patient and Izzie shoves in to note that it's a clean cut. Mark turns and replies, "You want to rub up against me, you've got to buy me a drink first." She actually understands that this means he wants her gone, and heads out. Mark notes that there's a good chance the arm can be reattached -- that is, if they find it, as Mere has to report that they don't have it yet. Nancy tells them that this baby has no father so she'll really need both her arms, so Mark orders Mere out to find it.
Callie and Alex examine Knee Guy, and she gives some orders to set up for drainage and to get some morphine. Everyone then waits expectantly until Alex whistles and tells his interns, "She means one of you morons." They run off to get everything, and Alex laughs and shakes his head conspiratorially with Callie. One might argue that it's not been that long since you were one of those morons, Alex -- or even that you still carry some moronic traits, so maybe save the head-shaking until your second day on the job. The patient, Joey, would rather have something to eat than morphine. Callie is surprised but takes his appetite as a good sign, and she and Alex move over to look at his x-rays. Once their backs are conveniently turned, Joey stuffs a handful of cotton balls into his mouth. Callie turns and tells him that he won't need surgery.
Izzie's stop on the "please let me appear to be a legitimate doctor" tour is Cristina's room, and she quietly begs to help with Cristina's patient so that the interns don't think she's such a fraud. Cristina (busy "saving lives and taking names") tells her no, and orders her to be a fraud somewhere else, loud enough to undermine her authority that much more. I love that woman. Izzie leaves, telling Cristina, "I don't like you." Lexie then runs in with the x-rays, stammering about how she met her sister, got lost, et cetera; Cristina clearly doesn't care. Lexie's definitely got the nervous, too-much-information Grey stammer down pat. Cristina is distracted for the first time upon learning that Mere and Lexie are sisters, but snaps back to attention when she looks at the x-ray. Cristina tells Lexie to page Dr. Shepherd, which Lexie interprets as "take notes and stammer some more," so Cristina hollers for anyone to page Dr. Shepherd immediately.
Derek finds Mere at the nurses' station, making calls to try and find Nancy's arm. Derek makes cute a bit with her when Lexie runs up, stammering apologies and letting Mere know she learned to never block the ER doors again. Derek turns and realizes, "You're the girl from the bar." It takes Lexie a moment, but then she recognizes him, rather embarrassed to realize that he works there. It's Grey-ja-vu, as Meredith states, "Girl from the bar. I'm the girl from the bar." She storms away, and Lexie seems to realize that her taste in attractive neurosurgeons runs in the family. She dejectedly comments that her sister hates her, taking Derek by surprise, and then FINALLY remembers she was finding him to do a consult for the once-dead guy.
Callie heads into the x-ray room and finds George, and she happily starts chatting -- she missed him that morning. He responds dully, "Yeah, I didn't want to be late for my second first day as an intern." He continues to stare morosely at the screen while Callie tries to cheer him up. When nothing works, she tries telling him, "Maybe they'll see you as the daddy intern!" The look on his face is both flat and yet somehow horrified, which she notices and assures him she's not pregnant, or at least not that she knows of. At mention of her boobs being sore, he gets the same look again and she explains that she was trying to cheer him up. This prompts the uncomfortable question of whether he really wants this, but he avoids it by saying he's distracted and having a bad day. As he storms out of the room, she tells him it's a bad month, and he angrily agrees. She calls out a meek "Love you!" to the closing door.
A little boy runs into the ER, yelling for help. His dad follows him, covered in blood, but remembers to tell him to use his indoor voice before he announces that he found an arm in the road. Mere rushes up to claim it, yet during all this the boy is still screaming for someone to "help her." It's rather alarming that his dad is doing nothing -- not responding, not explaining, not reminding him again about the indoor voice -- as his son shrieks like a banshee about a "her" that is hurt back in their truck. Izzie, happy to actually be a doctor, yells at her interns to get supplies, and has the boy lead her out to the latest victim of the car accident. She adds grandly to the grumbling interns, "Still want to baby-sit the arm?"
They run outside with a stretcher and supplies to find the remaining victim -- the deer. And here I was thinking we weren't going to see them treat the patient who caused the accident. The interns are disappointed, and the boy pathetically asks if she's dead. Izzie sadly explains that she's a people doctor, and finally Dad seems to think it's time to step in as a parent. When five doctors are waiting at his truck staring at a bloody deer. Dad of the year, this one. Just then, the doe opens her eyes and tries to lift her fuzzy animatronic head. Izzie begs not to look at her like that, and then turns and sees the boy doing an equally good job of pitifully imploring her to help. He begs Izzie while his dad makes a totally ineffectual effort to get him to stop. Then and there, Izzie makes a decision and orders the interns for supplies and "something that shaves fur." They stare, dumbfounded; she yells at them to move.
Inside, where the humans are getting treatment, an x-ray shows that Cristina's patient Henry's skull is completely severed from his spine -- internally. Everyone marvels, and Derek comments that 90% of people with this injury just die in the field, and he's never seen one live. I assume he means he's never heard of it, since I can't imagine that many internal decapitations are coming through the doors of Seattle Grace each day. Lexie hopefully says there's a first time for everything and that after all, he came back from the dead. This girl talks way too much. Derek turns to talk to Henry directly and instructs him to blink one for yes, two for no. When he determines that Henry has a family, Derek quietly says that they'll be contacted. Even though he's kept completely immobile, the terror on Henry's face is affecting me more than anything else I've seen in the episode.
Joey's still in the ER, looking uncomfortable. When Callie arrives, Alex pulls her aside to ask for a more interesting patient. Callie refuses to let Alex switch patients, despite his begging, which his interns are watching with interest. This gives Joey a convenient window to ingest first some binder clips, and then some scissors. Callie's had enough of Alex and orders, "You are a resident. You go where I say." She's clearly struggling to gain respect by being overly rigid, which is never going to work with such a flighty group of new residents, as we know them to be.
Nancy's in bed and (understandably) crying. Meredith kindly tells her that they have the arm and that Dr. Sloane is currently seeing if it can be reattached. She asks if there's anyone to call, but Nancy explains that she just moved there. She got tired of waiting for the right guy (get in line, sister) and wanted a baby (okay, not quite at that step yet) so she did so on her own. Her family didn't approve, so here she is, alone and armless. Meredith is clearly affected by her, somewhat uncomfortably. But Mark comes in at that moment to tell them that the arm can be reattached.
Deer surgery. Well, no surgery yet. Izzie's giving the stats of the patient, much to the disgust of her interns. Dad of the Year says his son, Michael, is a big boy who doesn't need her to do make-believe medicine. Over his son's protests, he apologizes for wasting Izzie's time and gets a "no kidding" from one of the interns. Izzie may be a loon, but I hate her interns even more right now. Lunatic dud or not, shouldn't they be keeping their rude comments in check in front of a superior? Especially on the first day? Michael's dad continues to explain how they'll take the deer home, skin her, and freeze the meat. Even though I realize this is the accepted method, it still sounds a little cruel to announce this to a kid after he's been interacting with the live animal for, presumably, at least a couple of hours now. Dad finally yells, "You don't try and save them, you eat them!" There's mayhem: the boy is shrieking, Izzie thinks maybe she can save the deer, and then the dad grumbles, perturbed, that the boy needs to grow up and face things. Naturally, as Izzie is an expert in not facing things, she seems to make up her mind to listen to Michael's pleas, and yells, "You're right, I'm not helping him. I'm helping Bambi!" She yells for more supplies, and Michael thanks her.
Meredith's working on cleaning up Nancy's arm when Cristina moseys in and Meredith gets territorial, shooing her away from the stray appendage. They talk about their significant others -- even though Cristina is searching high and low for Burke, she claims she doesn't care if she never sees him again. Meredith tells Cristina about how awkward it was to see Derek and to find out he knows Lexie. Cristina is appropriately horrified, proving again what an awesome friendship these two have, and they take a moment to ponder the weirdness of it all. Izzie comes in announcing she's trying to save Bambi, mentions her hateful interns, and then exclaims delightedly over the arm. Alex then storms in as well, declaring that Callie is a bitch, and also exclaims over the arm, to the delight of Izzie. There's some deer talk, and then George sticks his head in. In a very generous moment on her part, Cristina tries to involve him in the arm admiration and gossip, but as some of said gossip is that they hate his wife, he merely reports that Mark is ready for the arm, and heads out. Alex takes the moment to comment on how hot the interns are, especially Lexie, and he's thrown out of the room. As he goes, he announces he's going over Callie's head to Bailey. Cristina points out that Callie's the one over Bailey's head, actually, but Meredith counters, "Spiritually, Bailey's over everyone's head." I don't think it's just spiritual, given that the Chief of Surgery has been so scared of her all day. That's some awesome power harnessed in a tiny body right there.
Speaking of, Richard finds Bailey and tries to engage her in conversation. He tells her it's not like her to not want to talk, so she marvelously turns the tables on him and asks about his wife. This helps us, the viewing audience, to learn that Adele isn't taking Richard's calls and hasn't let him move back home yet. Realizing he got distracted, he yells at her to talk. But when she asks if he's ordering her to talk, he says no, so she says goodbye.
Cristina tells Derek that Henry's family is on their way, and he uses the moment to ask her for a drink. Not like that, people! He's got enough subordinate dating issues already; this is a totally innocent question. She's suspicious, and doesn't want to go because she doesn't like him. He asks, "You don't like me because of Meredith?" Cristina: "I don't like you because you're you." He ponders this, seeming to accept it with no problem, and asks how Meredith is. Naturally, she's "fine," which he says is her problem. Cristina smoothly states, "We're fine people, we do fine! We're fine." She then asks how Burke is and if he's off that day, not as nonchalantly as she thinks. Derek for once goes the direct route and tells her gently, "Dr. Burke handed in his letter of resignation two weeks ago. He wanted me to tell you." This clearly shakes her up, but when he apologizes, she tells him not to, since she's "fine." He walks away, and she tries to do paperwork, but is fighting a losing battle to give off an air of "fine."
Alex finds Bailey and asks her if she needs any help with surgery, but she tells him to ask Callie. In true TV style, Callie's walked up right behind him; she orders him back to the pit. Once he's gone, she comments that she doesn't know how Bailey did it. "Get them to listen to you; to show some respect." Bailey only shakes her head, so Callie leaves. Even though she was standing right behind Izzie, she never commented on one of her residents wasting time on animal surgery -- I'd say putting a stop to that might be step one in appearing to be a good leader. Iz asks Bailey what she knows about deer anatomy, but Bailey just leaves: "Not my intern, none of my business. Not anymore." I wish I could do the same. Sad-sack Izzie is someone I'd like to have not be my business. I want semi-airheaded but sassy and cute Izzie back.
Cristina is with Henry's wife, telling her that her husband's injuries are severe. The wife is asking questions, clearly not understanding just what is going on, so Cristina has to explain that there is only skin and muscle holding his head on to his body. Any movement could kill him. Mrs. Henry looks horrified, but still makes Cristina explain that this might be the last time she sees Henry alive. Through the window, she looks at his cute, well-behaved children who are coloring at a table. The closer a patient is to death via a horrible, rare malady, the more likely it is that they'll have a loving, beautiful family with small children.
Inside his room, the family has a moment, and Mrs. Henry can barely contain herself. When their daughter asks why Daddy isn't answering them, she snaps. After a bit of an exchange, Henry blinks three times. There's confusion as to the meaning until his wife guesses correctly that he's telling his family, "I love you." It's a sledgehammer, yes, but with his blinking and his glassy eyes, Henry is breaking my heart right now. The surgeons come in to take him to the OR, but before they move him, his daughter runs back and gives him three blinks back. Cristina can't take it, and leaves.
Stairwell! This must mean that we're going to see some overwrought, emotional exchange. And boy is it ever, as Izzie runs into George and demands to know why he's avoiding her. She reminds him that she said she loved him and that he hasn't said a word since. I think that's because you'd already talked about how you weren't going to pursue each other and because he's MARRIED, Izzie. But instead of remembering these key things, she has the gall to get angry at him and demands to know where he's been. He shoots back, "I've been right here, exactly where I was a year ago." And again with why I hate this pairing. Yeah, he's having a hard day, but he could have also pointed out he was with his wife, trying to salvage his marriage. But then these two wouldn't be the most revolting star-crossed lovers on television, would they?
Izzie shouts that they're all having a hard day -- for instance, on her first day she's "obsessed with rescuing Bambi." It's a poor choice of words; while he expects it of Cristina, he's disgusted and hurt that Izzie would call him that. It's both a nice little piece of continuity, illustrating what a horrible situation he's in, and horrifying, because I really hope the writers didn't invent an entire Izzie-deer storyline just so the non-lovers could have this misunderstanding. Izzie loses it in response to the accusation, and yells, "I'm Bambi, George! If anyone in this situation is a sad little cartoon character, it's me. I'm all alone in the forest! And my mother's been shot by a hunter, and where are you? Where the hell are you?" He just says he's on his way to surgery, and leaves. She seems to think she's entitled to have all this attitude, but I absolutely don't understand it. Also, what the hell did that analogy even mean? I get the alone part, and the pathetic little creature part kind of fits, though I think I see her that way for different reasons than she does. This is the exact moment where I can say that this whole storyline has officially beaten me. I don't understand anything anymore.
Mark and Derek are scrubbing in for their surgeries, and Mark sincerely tells Derek that he's really up for a drink if Derek needs to talk. When Derek asks what he would talk about, Mark says Meredith, as if it's totally obvious. He then goes on in a buddy-cheer-up tone that Meredith jerked him around and he's lucky to be out of it. But Derek's reaction is the opposite of what he expected as he says that Mark has no idea what he's talking about. Mark explains that he just thought Derek could use a friend, but it's too late, and Derek turns on him angrily. "Meredith's mother never wanted her. And her father was never man enough to hang around. She has a right to be damaged. And us, together? It's a big step for her. Her best friend gets left at the altar and all she sees now is things like this, they don't work. She panics, she wants this, she doesn't know how to have it, and you know what? That's not her fault. So never talk to me about Meredith Grey again because you do NOT know what you're talking about." He then mumbles, "You're not a real friend," as he goes into surgery. Mark looks kind of hurt. I'd offer to comfort him myself, but I'm too busy scraping my jaw off the floor at hearing that Derek finally understands Meredith and isn't being an asshole about it. There's no whining or feeling sorry for himself, there's just defending the woman he loves even though it looks like they're not going to make it work. That speech might just have earned him back the "McDreamy" moniker.
Crowds of people are in the OR, most looking at the arm. Meredith is with Nancy, who absolutely loses it when they're about to put her under, crying that she's not ready. She tells Mere she's not okay with being alone anymore, and grabs Meredith's arm and cries that she's scared. Meredith holds onto her and tells her soothingly that she thinks Nancy's brave. "It's much better to be alone and a success than in a relationship and feel like a failure all the time, right?" Nancy calms down, saying that's what she thinks, and Meredith tells her they'll take care of her arm now and the rest later. Uh-oh, Derek -- this doesn't look good for your romantic future.
Alex heads back to check on Joey, complaining all the way, and when he gets there, he begins yelling at everyone about who took his clamps and bandage scissors. Joey answers by beginning to choke and turning a nice shade of purple. Alex yells for someone to page Bailey as he runs to help him.
Oh, deer. Michael's dad is busy explaining to him where hamburgers come from so that he can understand why making Bambi steaks is best for everyone now. Izzie testily asks, "Can we have the circle-of-life lesson later?" It's actually not a bad call on her part, since Michael hasn't connected the dots yet, and who wants to be there when his happy world of McDonald's is shattered? She examines Bambi, whose heart is failing, and decides to shock her. Michael's dad announces that all of this is "childish and ridiculous." It is, but maybe you could have spoken up back in the ER before any of this started? Izzie wastes one of Bambi's precious few remaining moments of life to declare, "It's not childish to hold onto hope, it's actually hard. Very very hard," and adds that his son wants to believe some things can work out for best. My idea of "best" is if aliens landed right there and whisked all of these people away at one time so we didn't have to deal with kids, dads, Izzie, or the interns again. Izzie asks for the paddles, and when one of the male interns asks what she's doing, Snotty Intern #1 says, "Insuring we never see the inside of an OR this year." Oh, don't make me defend Izzie again, girl -- you kind of need to do what your boss says, especially on your first day on the job. Maybe just a tiny little fissure could form that would suck them all into the center of the earth? That doesn't happen, much to my disappointment; instead Bambi is shocked, and jumps straight up and back to good health. The interns are shocked, Izzie is thrilled, and Michael's dad is disgusted. No venison for you tonight!
While Meredith and Mark work on Nancy, George notes that she's having contractions. These aren't false, though, and the baby starts to arrive at alarming speed. There's no time to call OB/GYN, so George has to get down and do it himself. In about 30 seconds, he's got the biggest, cleanest newborn in the history of the world in his hands, and he takes her away to clean her up while Mark finishes re-attaching Nancy's arm.
In the other McOperating Room, Derek's working on reattaching Henry's spine when Lexie notices, horrified, that Henry's leg has just moved. His anesthesia is light, and while they don't seem worried about him waking up fully, they do need to keep him from moving so he doesn't accidentally kill himself during surgery. Cristina orders Lexie to hold his legs while she gets down in front of him and orders him to not move, since that means he'll die, and his family needs him to live. She informs him that he can't leave the people he loves with just the memory that he loved them. The countdown is on to the "fine" collapse.
While Alex and Bailey are operating on Joey, Callie storms in, guns blazing, to find out why her patient is there without her being notified. Alex starts to answer, but Bailey cuts him off to commend his action, saying that he prioritized and his quick thinking saved Joey's life. Since she can't argue with a patient surviving (though she looks like she wants to), Callie just orders a fully dictated chart from Alex that evening, and leaves. Just then, Bailey pulls the scissors out of his stomach triumphantly and explains that he must have pica, a disorder causing him to eat anything and everything. Alex exclaims that they've just found a buffalo nickel. Richard comes in and tries to sound casual about wanting to see what Bailey was working on, and she glares at him over her mask. When he asks what she's got, she tells him, "Two dollars and thirty-seven cents in change." Yet still no direct order to talk to him. She should just be named Chief of Everything since, to a man, every single person in the hospital is scared of her.
Aw, babies! (Come on, you can't see a montage of newborns without that reaction. You just can't.) George is staring in at them when Lexie comes up and comments on the Cute Festival in front of her. It's another nice little parallel to George's first intern year with another Dr. Grey when they visited the nursery. He dully tells Lexie he just delivered one of those babies. She's terribly impressed, and asks why he's not more excited at himself. Everything he's been keeping in all day pours out as he yells that he's done this before, and it's déjà vu. She gently says that he just happened to not pass the test, and it's no one's fault. He agrees, but mentions everything that had happened -- Callie giving Cristina The Cards, Meredith not writing anything down, the wedding planning, and Izzie. He's tired of being the responsible one, and wants to know when he won't be the guy who repeats his intern year. Lexie says, "But what about you." He heartily agrees.
She quietly tells George that she didn't plan on being in Seattle; she had another internship, "and then, my mother gets the hiccups and I'm at a funeral." George, consider yourself beaten in the Life Is Shit race. She goes on to say everyone has problems. "Moms die, and dads drink so much they don't even know what year they're in..." While I hate Thatcher for leaving Meredith and doing everything he did to her, I now hate him for what he's doing to Lexie too. Who knew a boring little spineless man could do so much damage? Lexie continues about not knowing she even had a sister, and that she'd love to be anywhere but here and to have had her plans work out. "So you change. You get over it. I'm here. Now. And you? You delivered a baby today! So, stop feeling sorry for yourself." There's silence as they both gaze at the babies and finally, George responds. "You." He waits, looking for words. "Are kind of awesome." She agrees. And I've got to admit, so do I. Welcome aboard, Lexie. The camera pulls back and it turns out that Meredith has been watching the exchange, hiding in the doorway.
Back in Joey's surgery, Richard dispatches Alex to get a psych consult and, once he's gone, finally remembers he's the boss and forces Bailey to talk to him. When he says he knows she's angry and disappointed, she cuts him off and corrects him: actually, she is completely speechless that he didn't believe in her. She asserts she would have been excellent, and then, to her surprise, he agrees. But he goes on to tell her that she'll make an even more excellent surgeon. He explains that she should focus on surgery and not on all the red tape, adding, "You'll thank me for this one day." She's thoughtful, but shoots back menacingly, "But not today!"
Derek's erasing his surgery off the board when Mark comes up, so Derek walks away. Mark calls after him that he could use a friend. Derek turns to him and starts to speak, but Mark cuts him off and, in possibly the funniest man-love television moment ever, declares, "I didn't come to Seattle for Addison, I didn't come to Seattle for Chief. I came to Seattle for you, okay? I came to Seattle to get you back." I don't care if this is revisionist history, I'll take it, because after four viewings of the scene, I still crack up. After a moment of abject horror, Derek smiles a bit. Mark admits, "I know, I wanna take it back now but I already said it. So..." They both crack up. The McHotDoctor expression of platonic friendship is already down as one of my favorite moments of the entire series. Derek comments that maybe now they should have a drink, and Mark happily says they could. Derek echoes Bailey, though, when he leaves and yells, "Not today!" I think those two crazy kids might just make it work.
Izzie watches proudly as animal control takes Bambi away. She turns to her interns and tells them that she knows they didn't wake up expecting this, and that instead of doing something cool, they helped a deer. But, lunatic or not, she finally stands up for herself, advising them, "You can bitch and complain about it or you can adjust your expectations. Because like it or not you're stuck with me. And I'm the kind of doctor who lets a little kid convince her she can do the impossible. Oh, plus, when I woke up this morning I thought today was going to go a lot differently too. I thought I was gonna get the good interns. Instead, I get stuck with the duds. So I have to adjust my expectations as well." Ignoring the belief-in-the-impossible schlock in the middle, I love this Izzie. I miss this Izzie!
Henry's family heads in to the ICU to visit them, and Cristina turns from her paperwork to watch them. I know this is supposed to be Cristina's moment of personal crisis, but I'm just relieved that Henry is alive.
When George walks in to the locker room, all of the interns stare after him. He turns to demand what's up, and someone says with awe, "We heard you delivered a baby today!" Lexie adds, "On your very first day as an intern," with enough emphasis to get through to George, but not so much that it sounds strange to the others. They all begin to ask him what it was like, including my favorite question, "Did your head just explode with the amazingness?" He smiles, and with one more reminder from Lexie that this is his first day, he turns his frown upside down and begins to answer questions, explaining a procedure and basking in his accomplishment. I would just love it if it turns out that Lexie is there to give each of these guys a good smack upside the head for some perspective.
There's a shot of someone carrying a plastic bag of something in a dark hall, and for a moment, it's a little too much like a horror movie set-up. We see Cristina sitting on a bed against the window, and Alex joins her, carrying a gigantic bag of change which he got from his patient's stomach. When she can't muster up any emotion ever a disgusting medical find, he knows something is wrong, and sits to her. After a quiet moment, he tells her, "I miss Rebecca." It's what she's needed, and after a moment she quietly adds, "I miss Burke." In the only way he knows how to comfort someone, Alex hands over the bag. "Want some money?" It's an awesomely quiet and touching moment for the two unlikely bedfellows. (As it were.)
Mere begins her VO. "Change." Get it? Get it? It was a bag of change? Hardy har har. "We don't like it, we fear it." Bailey leaves the hospital looking amazing in a white coat, and passes Callie sitting dejectedly on a bench. After a moment she demands to know if Bailey wants to humiliate her some more. "Because I get it. I suck at my job, I suck as a wife, I suck all the way around." Bailey doesn't bite, just replies, "Hope tomorrow's better." Lexie needs to turn up as the Honesty Sprite and tell Callie to get back to being an awesome, confident doctor, and to not beat herself up for marrying into a hellaciously conceived love triangle. Then maybe we get Awesome Callie back, too.
VO: "But we can't stop it from coming." Mere gets out of the elevator in an equally awesome blue version of Bailey's coat. Lexie is off to one side and calls her name, and Meredith turns and stares. On her other side, Derek calls her name too. She stands for a moment looking like she might just run out the door, but then turns towards Derek and walks away holding his hand. He glances back apologetically at Lexie. VO: "We either adapt to change or we get left behind." In this case, it's kind of both. The two are in the on-call room, and Meredith looks down and stutters until Derek tells her, not unkindly, "You're not ready for this." She's not. He adds, "I asked for too much." Quietly she adds, "I think so." And he answers sadly, but matter-of-factly, "So this is it." Mere: "Yeah." He says, "We're breaking up."
VO: "It hurts to grow. Anyone who tells you it doesn't is lying." Derek moves closer to her and they have some awkward moments as they each lean towards, then pull away from each other. It's hotter than they've been in months of being a couple. He leans in and touches her hair, then says gently that it's a breakup kiss. They kiss, and then after a fantastically hot moment decide to have breakup sex, and grab at each other's clothes. Mere's voice-over adds appropriately, "But here's the thing. The more things change, the more they stay the same."
A doorbell sounds and Izzie, eating peanut butter from the jar, comes to the door and turns on the light. George is on the porch, and a shocked Izzie opens the door. Meredith VO: "And sometimes, oh sometimes, change is good." To my absolute horror, George declares, "I love you, too." Meredith adds, "Sometimes, change. Is. Everything." Izzie just stares, dumbstruck, and the screen goes black. Make it stop! Make the lambs stop screaming!