In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close. Izzie stops bathing, starts baking, and only leaves the house to deliver some of the thousands of batches of muffins she's made. Alex, for his part, won't stop bothering Bailey -- who's back to her glorious Nazi ways -- to go and stop Izzie's baking frenzy. Cristina gets the shock of her life when she is in Burke's hospital room, mid-strip, and Burke's parents walk in. Burke's mother -- excuse me, "Mama" -- dresses down Cristina for messing with her preshus baybee. Cristina is not pleased. The only light at the end of this particularly dark tunnel is Burke's dad, who is clearly on Cristina's side in the situation. In medical news, there's: an amusing patient with a brain tumor, which causes him to say exactly what he's feeling, like "my sister is fat" and "you look like you want to sleep with that brain surgeon"; a teenage boy who flew off his street luge and got impaled by a gigantic tree limb; and a middle-aged woman with lung cancer who decides she needs to really, really live before dying. Her idea of "living" is making out with Alex in the bathroom of Joe's bar, but we all have our faults. Meredith decides that instead of choosing one or the other, she's going to "date" both McDreamy and McVet before she makes a decision. The two men obviously accept this ridiculous challenge. Meanwhile, Callie takes the blame for the panties Addison pinned to the bulletin board, sending George into a jealous frenzy, which is exactly what Callie wanted. Webber busts Callie in her basement dungeon, leading to a totally sitcom "misunderstanding" in which George walks in and sees them together. She confesses that the panties aren't hers, and they make out. Bailey finally shows up at Meredith's to talk to Izzie and pry the mixing bowl out of her hand, hooray! And Addison, who has realized that her marriage is over, spends the entire episode drunk as a skunk, only to sober up at the end so she can do the nasty nasty with...McSteamy! Want more? The full recap starts right below!
We open with a quick shot of Seattle, then go straight to the hospital, and into the elevator -- where McDreamy feels like re-enacting this hair-sniffing scene from last season. It is simultaneously hot and disgusting. Shut up, McDreamy. Or, you know, don't. DAMN with the hotness. Mere is, as ever, voice-overing through all this: "On any given moment, the brain has 14 million neurons firing at a speed of 450 miles per hour. We don't have control over most of them. When we get a chill: goosebumps. When we get excited: adrenaline." Mere exits the elevator with a very happy look on her face. More VO: "The body naturally follows its impulses, which I think is part of what makes it so hard for us to control ours." Cut to Izzie, who has filled every available surface of Meredith's kitchen with freshly baked muffins. The oven dings, and she pulls out yet another batch. Oh, Izzie. She surveys the muffinly bounty and says to herself, "That's enough muffins. We don't need all these. No more muffins." And then she grabs a mixing bowl and starts cracking eggs for...more muffins. Meanwhile, Cristina pays Burke a visit in his hospital room, and as she naughtily draws the blinds, MereVO tells us, "Of course, sometimes we have impulses we would rather not control..." Cristina does a funny little strip routine, getting down to a matching red lace panty/bra set, and as she straddles Burke, he says, "What are you doing?" Uh, seriously? Cristina: "Just because you can't touch doesn't mean you can't enjoy." Just as she's getting to the good stuff, the door opens, revealing a nice-looking couple Burke addresses as "Mama! Daddy!" Oops. Burke's mother, played by none other than the fabulous Diahann Carroll, looks alarmed, and says in a sickly-sweet Southern drawl, "Preston? Is this a new service the hospital is providing?" Heeeee. Cristina scrambles to get her naked self under the covers. MereVO finishes up: "...that we later wish we had." Indeed.
Outside and re-dressed, Cristina gets into Hot Man Nurse's face about how she told him to guard the door. He says he had a code; Cristina says she had parents walk in. Hot Man Nurse says they saved the guy's life. Cristina: "Whatever. I want my twenty bucks back." HMN says he's sorry; he bought everyone coffee -- to celebrate saving the guy's life. Cristina still wants her twenty bucks back, but the nurse is gone. Meredith pops up in his place, telling Cristina it's not Tyler's fault she's a dirty, dirty stripper. Heh. Cristina's all, "You're one to talk, sleeping with two men?" Mere says she's not sleeping with either one of them -- not until she picks one. Dude! She's so ridiculous. She goes on to say that if she hasn't reached a decision by the end of the day, she's flipping a coin. Gah. Cristina: "Oh, and somehow I'm the dirty stripper." Exactly. Bailey storms over, with her Nazi boots firmly tied on, and snarks, "You two have time to round, or are you too busy getting naked on hospital property?" Snap.
Webber is in his office folding up a...blanket? Ooh, he slept at the hospital. Richard's in the doghouse! Addison suddenly appears at his door, looking like she just shot the cover of Homeless Bazaar. Her clothes are all baggy and gross, and she's wearing some sort of nutso fishing hat. Richard: "You got a coffee stain on your shirt." Addie: "You got a bed on your couch." Hee. They're both so pitiful. Webber tells her she can't see patients looking like she does, and she requests the day off. "For what?" Webber would like to know. Addie: "For drinking." She says she's feeling the need to do some crying, actually, but her tear ducts are too proud, so she's going to be doing some drinking. Richard asks if she has any patients today, and Addie says she thinks God knows that she needs to get really drunk today, so no. She asks him why he's sleeping in his office. Webber: "Marriage...is hard." Addie buries her face in her hands and says, "Thank goodness. Mine seems to be just about over." Aw. You guys, she's crying! Webber puts a hand on her shoulder, an obvious sign that she is free to get shitfaced all day long.
Cut to our first patient, a middle-aged woman in a hospital bed surrounded by several delicious-looking cakes. They're really into the baked-good food porn this episode. I hope Evany is watching. Bailey and the interns walk in, and Bailey tells the woman she's not supposed to be eating. "Mrs. Seabury" insists she just cannot stop, because these cakes are the most wooooonderful things she's ever tasted in her liiiiiife. She is really out of control with the cakes. She's having a cakegasm. She also might be hopped up on every goofball Seattle Grace has to offer, because when Bailey reminds her that she has a very aggressive form of lung cancer and would do well to get into surgery as soon as possible, Mrs. Seabury just starts to giggle. "It's all very aggressive, heee! I have never smoked a cigarette in my life! I have never smoked pot, hahahaaa! I've never drank! I haven't had a dessert in ten years, before today! I'm the picture of health, and I have lung cancer, hoooo!" Mrs. Seabury apologizes for her behavior, and thinks she might be on a sugar high. Might? Everyone looks very concerned for poor Mrs. Seabury, and it's decided that they'll reschedule her surgery, and possibly get her a psych consult.
The interns all follow Bailey to wherever they're going , and George says, "So um...um, Dr. Bailey?" Bailey, who must have memorized the FAQ in her spare time, responds, "Surgeons don't say 'um,' Dr. O'Malley. If you're going to be a surgeon, learn to speak like one." Yeah, and quit signing your posts, you little son of a bitch! George hesitates so long that Alex finally speaks up and tells Bailey, "He wants you to talk to the Chief about Izzie; see if she can come back." George informs Bailey that Izzie's been doing a lot of baking, and it seems a waste for all her talent and medical skills to go into muffins. Bailey stops and turns slowly around to face them. "Stop. Talking." She turns back around and keeps walking. Yes, that went very well.
McDreamy bounds into the hospital room just as they're getting to the patient, and greets "Benjamin" (the patient) and "Ruth" (his sister) a good morning. Benjamin says it's not a very good morning to him -- he has to have brain surgery. McDreamy turns to Meredith to give her some quick bedroom eyes, as Benjamin continues. "Brain surgery. It's pretty scary. Plus my sister's nervous, and when she gets nervous she sweats." Hee. Same here, but much more of it. He asks his sister if he was rude, and she nods slightly and tells him to let the doctors talk. The doctors explain that Benjamin is in for a brain tumor that's pressing on his temporal lobe, and is clearly messing with his impulse control. Benjamin clarifies: "It makes me say everything I think. It's very annoying." Aw. He looks at Cristina and says she looks annoyed anyway, unless she always has a pinched, uptight look on her face. Ruth tells them that Benjamin can't perceive sarcasm or irony, so you have to actually tell him that he's being annoying or inappropriate. Cristina's like, "Okay, you're annoying me," which gets her a shove from Bailey. McDreamy tells Benjamin that Cristina, pinched and annoyed though she may be, will prep him for surgery, and asks Benjamin if he has any more questions. Benjamin does: "Is that blonde doctor your girlfriend? 'Cause the way you keep looking at her? You may as well just mount her right here and now." Awesome, and Benjamin's total deadpan delivery just ramps the awesomeness to new levels. No one says anything, all looking around like "awkward!" Benjamin: "I'm sorry, was that rude?"
Outside the room, Bailey gives them all hell for being such sex-starved poor excuses for doctors. She tells Meredith that, if she can keep her clothes on long enough to follow up the labs, she'd appreciate it. Alex gets the pit, which pleases him since i
t means he's off "gyney." She starts to say something else, then looks over at something behind them. "Or...you can tell me...whose DAMN PANTIES are on THE BULLETIN BOARD!" Oh shit! The interns look over at the black lacy panties pinned to the board, and some of them cringe. Others cannot control their laughter. Meanwhile, Bailey lectures them that the hospital is a serious place where serious work happens. She asks whose they are. Callie looks over from the nurses' station and starts to giggle. Meredith tells Cristina under her breath, "This is bad. This isn't good." Cristina tells her she better claim them. "She thinks they're mine. Claim them!" Bailey catches them freaking out, and says she knew it was one of them. "It's ALWAYS one of mine. Always. So...tell me. Which one of you left your damn DRAWERS ON MY SURGICAL FLOOR?" No one says anything. Just when it's too unbearably tense to handle, Callie rolls her eyes and walks over. "Oh, no. Did I leave my underwear lying around again? I am so sorry, Bailey." She unpins the panties and slips them into her pocket. Then she walks off, all cool, like she leaves her black panties on hospital bulletin boards every day. Credits.
Bailey tries again when we come back: she tells George and Cristina to prep their patient for surgery. "Karev, pit. Grey, charts." She tells them not to make her regret setting them loose in the hospital, and quizzes George on what she means by that. George: "You mean check with you before we cut any wires or steal any hearts." Heh. Bailey gives George a look, then tells him he better not be trying to be clever. Damn, she is back. And Cristina says so: "Holy crap. The Nazi is definitely back." As she's saying this, she runs into Burke's mother. Cristina stutters around for a minute, then Burke's mom is all, "Did I hear you refer to Miranda Bailey as a Nazi?" She gives Cristina a lecture on who the Nazis actually were, and expects that Cristina -- as a woman of color, and a doctor, no less -- would think twice before using that word as a punchline. Cristina says she'll think about that in the future. McDreamy is passing by just then and is so pleased to meet "Preston's mother." She thanks McDreamy for operating on her son, then asks if she could borrow Cristina for a quick cup of coffee. McDreamy, to Cristina's extreme dismay, says that'd be no problem, no problem at all! Cristina attempts not to freak out and says she just has one quick thing to do, then she'll meet Mother Burke in the cafeteria. Awesome Diahann Carroll drawls, "Yes, yes. I look forward to it." She says it in the way that lots of Southern women do when they say, "Bless your heart," when what they actually mean is, "Fuck you. Honey."
McDreamy and Meredith, they meet again in an exam room. Meredith tells him that she'd normally like the things he said to her, and normally would even think the bulletin board thing was funny, but he's married. McDreamy doesn't know about the bulletin board, but says he's not going to pressure her. "Take all the time you need. Whatever you decide, I'm ending it with Addison today." Mere reminds him that he's said this before. McDreamy says yes, but this time he means it, and he's coming clean with her as soon as he sees her. He gets closer and closer to Meredith as he talks, and nearly kisses her before they're interrupted by Callie. Who looks very annoyed. Because she's the greatest. Derek leaves, and Callie hands Meredith's panties back to her. "You guys should think about getting a hotel room or something."
Cristina busts into Burke's room, where he and his sweet-looking daddy are reading. She acts weird and jumpy, and Burke's daddy kind of gives her this half-smile and goes back to his paper. Cristina walks over to Burke's bed to inform him that his mother wants to have coffee with her, and also thinks she's a racist stripper. Hee. Burke laughs. Cristina says it is not funny, not funny at all. Burke: "She's just my Mama, Cristina." Cristina recoils. "Your MAMA?" Burke says Cristina will love Mama when they get to know each other. "Everybody loves my Mama," says Burke. That's hilarious, and also perfect, because the sheer number of mama's boys below the Mason-Dixon would astound you. Do you know how hard it was to find a husband down here who wasn't retarded in love with his Mama? Al Lowe had to ship hers in from New Jersey! Cristina glares at him, and grits, "You. Will save me. From this." Burke just grins. After she leaves, Daddy Burke joins his son in a good healthy Southern-fried laugh. Silly women!
McDreamy finds Webber in his office and asks him if he's seen Addison. Webber says, actually, she needed a day off. "Something about finding another woman's panties in the pocket of your tux?" McDreamy says that's not how he wanted her to find out. You think? Webber says you don't leave another woman's panties around unless you do want your wife to find them. He admits that he knows a thing or two about affairs -- especially affairs with women named "Grey." McDreamy is all mad because he was going to end it with Addison today, and now he can't find her. He says it has to be over, because Meredith is not an affair.
Meanwhile, Miss Not-An-Affair is drawing blood from Benjamin. He tells her that she's very pretty, but looks kind of tired, and should probably change her hair conditioner. They totally stole that line from me. I think I say it in every recap. Ben's sister tells him that was rude, but Meredith says it's fine, those things are true -- and refreshing. Benjamin pulls out all the stops: "Did you have sex with that brain surgeon?" Meredith says no, she hasn't, not today anyway. Benjamin says he would -- he's hot. "And arrogant, in a way that's still sexy." Exactly. Benjamin says he would TOTALLY have sex with McDreamy if he could, and it looks like Meredith could, so what's the hold-up? Heh. Meredith just smiles placidly at him, like she's not thinking exactly the same thing.
Aw, here comes George, all jealous about Callie and her panties. He gets up close behind her and says he was just wondering about those panties, and how they ended up on the bulletin board, those black lacy panties on the bulletin board. Meredith overhears this and takes off. Chickenshit. George keeps wondering about the panties, and Callie keeps avoiding the question. Finally she turns to him with a coquettish look on her face. "Wow. You're jealous." She is loving it. George starts to argue, but is interrupted by Mrs. Seabury and another patient racing through the halls in wheelchairs. George is all, "Is that my...that's my patient!" and runs off to retrieve her. When the coast is clear, Meredith tells Callie she'll tell George the truth about the panties. Callie: "Don't you dare." They exchange knowing glances. Meredith was actually really cute in this scene, and I'm wondering if she's using a new moisturizer or something. She looks better than she has in months.
Alex is helping Callie prep for surgery and decides to make a little conversation. "So, you and O'Malley, huh? How'd that happen?" Callie: "I don't know. You're a surgeon; how'd that happen?" Bailey tells Alex he doesn't get to ask a resident personal questions, but Callie says it's okay. Bailey is on the warpath today: she says he's her intern, and it's NOT fine, is that clear? Alex says no, it's not, and what's also not clear to him is why she won't talk to Izzie. Bailey can't believe he wants to push her on this today, and turns to head outside to the ambulance bay. Bailey asks Mean Paramedic what they've got, and boy is it a big one: a 14-year-old boy was riding a street luge with his friends, flew off, was catapulted at least twenty feet into the air, and landed on a pile of tree trimmings. Fun. They pull the poor boy out of the ambulance, and...he's got an enormous tree limb poking through his abdomen. It is CRAZY. Drum Beats of "Dude, this is some fucked up shit" start to play, and...commercials.
When we return, Bailey is telling the kid that he's at the hospital an
d is going to be okay. He asks, "Hospital? What's the matter with me?" The kid's dad has just rushed over from his car and answers, "You're an idiot. That's what's the matter with you." Oh, way to make your dying son feel better, DAD. He keeps yelling at his son for being an idiot, and finally Alex jerks him away and slams him up against a wall. Dad comes away from it with a bloody nose, and calls Alex a son of a bitch. They finally get the boy inside and the father led elsewhere, and that's when Bailey turns around to unleash her fury on Alex. "He is terrified! His child IS A TREE! Listen to me, you will not get physical on my watch, ever again. You will not question my authority. And you will not defend your LITTLE GIRLFRIEND for killing a man, ARE WE CLEAR?" Alex answers, "Crystal," and then makes bull-horns with his fingers. Oh, he does not. He just glares at Bailey and says Izzie's not his girlfriend.
Meanwhile, Cristina and Mama are having some nice coffee together. Mama tells Cristina proudly that Burke graduated first in his class from Tulane. Shout-out to the Green Wave! Cristina says she did know that, and reveals that she, too, graduated first in her class. Mama is not impressed with this information, and inquires as to whether Cristina is planning to pursue a less time-consuming specialty -- after all, she does want to get married and start a family soon, correct? Jesus gay. Cristina can't get a word in edgewise, what with Mama talking about how any woman in the world would be just THRILLED to marry her Preston -- he's the most magnificent thing she's ever done, he's handsome, and he's brilliant! Luckily, the man himself walks over to save the day. Cristina's all, "Burke! Burke, Burke! Burke's here. Preston. Preston Burke is here!" Heee. Burke says he's so happy to see his two favorite ladies all in one place. Mama asks Burke what on earth he's doing out of bed; Burke gets all little-boy, and finally stutters out that he wanted to stretch his legs. Mama tells him he's supposed to be resting. Burke says he just wanted a little...um...air, and some...ah...some coffee. "Anybody want some coffee?" Oh my God. Cristina says they already have coffee, and asks him to PLEASE have a seat. Burke says he'll be just a second, and escapes. Mama turns on Cristina. "You did this. Cristina, listen to me. It's not that I don't like you. You're a very smart, very attractive woman. But you're selfish! You pulled him out of a sickbed because you were...uncomfortable. That's selfish! You are selfish, and my son is giving, and the combination? Well, it's not going to last." Aaaaaahhhh! Cristina is STUNNED. As she should be. Bless her heart. Burke comes back just then, his confidence back, but he's still whipped. "Hey hey, hi! I brought you a scone, Mama." Kill me now: I was just transported back to my freshman year in high school. And you can stick THIS up your ass, ROBBIE'S MOTHER.
Little Boy Bluge is in surgery, as his father waits anxiously outside. Bailey realizes there's no way to save his kidney, not with a tree sticking through it. Webber tells everyone to pace themselves; they've got a long way to go. Up in the gallery, Cristina is complaining about Mama. "His mother rivals MY mother, and that is saying something." She says Mama is dark -- dark and evil. In retaliation, she kicks George in the ass with her foot. "You're blocking my view, George." Meredith says she misses Dirty Stripper Cristina, because she was fun. Cristina can't believe Mama suggested she change her career. "She wants to call me a racist? I'll call her sexist. What is this, 1953?" She says time Mama comes at her, she's "going there." Mere says she agrees -- they should all tell the truth, spit it out, go with their guts, follow their instincts. Cristina: "I miss Philandering Whore Meredith. She was much more trashy, and much less idyllic." Heh. George turns around and randomly asks the girls if some women have two sets of panties, like they would wear for different occasions. The girls ignore him. Mere tells Cristina she's made a choice: she's picking Derek. "Finn is great, but Derek is...Derek. And I'm following my gut." Cristina says whatever, she just wants her patient back, the one Meredith stole after "Mama" cornered her. Mere says that's fine; she needs to go check on Izzie anyway.
Hot Man Nurse pages George to Mrs. Seabury's room and informs him that she was caught shoplifting chocolates from the hospital gift shop. George can't believe it, but Mrs. Seabury is all, "I've never done that before! It was exhilarating!" She is annoying me. Hot Man Nurse says she's also planning to leave. George tells her she can't leave -- she's supposed to be resting. Mrs. Seabury is not interested in either surgery or her 60% chance of survival. She says she's spent her entire life stifling every impulse and following every rule, and she's done. "I'm claiming my life, Doctor. I can't do that from a hospital bed." George says she doesn't actually know she'll die. Mrs. Seabury: "Maybe. But at least when I do, I'll know that I have lived." She takes a bite of one of her stolen chocolates and experiences another, uh, moment. Mrs. Seabury really does need to get out more often.
Meredith arrives home and calls out for Izzie. Instead, she discovers Izzie's crazy baking frenzy in the kitchen. She picks up a muffin and the doorbell rings. It's Finn! Finn is cute. He asks Mere what she's doing there, and she explains that she is, she just came home to check on Izzie. Finn says he did too, AND he brought her lunch. Aw, Finn. He says there wasn't really anything anyone could say to make him feel better when his wife died, but the bringing of food actually helped. Meredith is immediately in love with him again because he brought Izzie food even though he knew she wasn't there. I can't blame her. She starts listing off all the things he is: sweet, kind, sensitive, et cetera. Finn tells her that he knows she has a decision to make, and he doesn't want to rush her, but he does want to make one thing clear. Mere: "What's that?" Finn: "I'm not all that sensitive." And then he KISSES HER. Because he's SO CUTE. Dear Lord, how am I ever going to make a decision about my two imaginary TV boyfriends? Commercials.
Bailey leaves the OR to give "Mr. Hernandez" an update on his son's progress. He's frantic, but relieved that his son is still alive, even though they've had to remove his kidney and a portion of his bowel and, you know, there's still a tree impaling his entire mid-section. Bailey goes back into surgery, and Mr. Hernandez sits back down again. Aw, now I feel bad for the mean jackass.
Joe's Bar. It's the middle of the day, and business is slow. Joe wipes down a counter, then looks up to see Izzie walking in with two huge baskets of muffins. Even in the midst of her incredible grief, she's found time to wrap the muffins lovingly in a pair of decorative towels. It's heartbreaking. Anyway, she looks like shit, like she hasn't slept in days. She tells Joe that she was running out of room and thought maybe he'd like some. She adds flatly she's a good baker, and it nearly does me in. Joe says absolutely, thanks her, and takes the muffins. Aw, Joe. Suddenly, a very drunk Addison stumbles over. "Dr Stevens!" Izzie tells her not to call her "Doctor." Addison plops herself unsteadily onto a barstool and slurs, "Oookay. Please don't call me Mrs. Shepherd. Haaaa! That's funny." Izzie observes that Addison is drunk. Joe agrees. Addison asks Izzie if she knows about the slutty sex her slutty friend had with her super-slutty husband. Izzie tells Addison she should have a muffin -- they're really good, and they'll help. Addison: "I may be beyond help." Izzie: "Yeah. Me too. Don't let her drive, Joe." She walks out. Addison munches on a muffin. (Hee.) That was the worst (best) scene ever.
Cristina watches from outside Burke's room, where her boyfriend and Mama are having a big old time. Meredith passes by with a bag full of muffins and comments, "She's still here." Cristina says she never leaves; she never even pees. "I'm not entirely sure she's human!" Meredith tells her ab
out Finn bringing Izzie lunch, and confides that she's changed her mind, and is now picking Finn. Cristina, again, is all, "Whatever," and THEN says, "You know, I am not selfish!" Heh. She names several reasons she's not selfish, which nobody in the universe buys. Cristina stomps off, and Meredith turns around to witness George flirting with one of the nurses. She asks him if he's still jealous, and George says he's not jealous -- he's just living his life. Uh huh.
Oh no, it's Benjamin who says everything he thinks! He asks Cristina if she has a boyfriend. Cristina tries to ignore him so he repeats the question incessantly. His sister helpfully tells Cristina that he'll keep asking until she answers. Cristina says yes, she has a boyfriend. Benjamin: "If I had a boyfriend I would definitely not be as angry as you. Why are you so angry? Is it because you're frigid?" Aw. Cristina says nobody's frigid, then confesses that her boyfriend's mother called her selfish. Benjamin says she does seem kind of self-obsessed. I love Benjamin! Cristina says she's a surgeon, and in order to be a surgeon, a certain amount of self-obsession is necessary -- which her boyfriend gets, if not his mother. Benjamin tells Cristina that he used to have a boyfriend who understood, and loved him even when he got the tumor. "But his mother didn't. My offending everyone offended her. And he said he didn't care what his mother thought, but he did care. 'Cause now it's two years later, and I'm having brain surgery, and only my fat sister Ruth is here with me." Poor Ruth. Cristina tells Benjamin that was rude, and he says he's sorry.
Cut to Cristina scrubbing for Benjamin's surgery with McDreamy. She asks him if Benjamin will be his old self after the tumor's removed. McDreamy says just getting the tumor out and him living is what they're after; everything else is icing on the cake. We then get a back-and-forth montage of Benjamin and Tree Boy's surgeries. At one point in the latter OR, Alex says something snarky about Tree Boy's dad, and Bailey tells him to shut up, because she's had enough out of him today. Alex: "With all due respect, Dr. Bailey, I think you've gotten me mixed up with Izzie Stevens." I don't even know what that means, but it was awesome. The doctors prepare to cut the tree out of the boy's body. Benjamin starts bleeding in all the wrong places. He crashes. So does the other kid. Benjamin gets defibrillated, and we get commercials.
We come back to Joe's Bar and a very, very, extremely, really super drunk Addison Shepherd. She's eating muffins, drinking a martini, and telling Miranda Bailey how very fat she's planning to get. Just as a stopgap, you see. Until she figures out what to do . She starts kind of crying, and says it's over, over, over, and now what is she going to do? Bailey tries not to fall asleep, and pats her hand. Addie isn't finished: "Over a skanky pair of panties and a bad tux. I am desirable, Amanda!" Bailey: "Miranda." Hee. Joe comes over and Addison tries to get him to say she's desirable. He says he already has a boyfriend. Addison: "I don't need you to tell me how wildly attractive I am. WILDLY! Attractive." Joe tells her that she told him to call a cab at 10, and it is now here. Addison gets all teary-eyed looking at "Amanda," and says she guesses it's for the best, huh? Bailey's all, "I would say so."
Elsewhere in the bar, Mrs. Seabury has ordered one of everything, and offers to buy Alex a drink. He recognizes her as the cake lady from this morning. She cutely wonders if he can't drink with her since he's a doctor, and Alex says he certainly can. They clink glasses and beckon Joe for more drinks. Sweet.
Even elsewhere in the bar, George is throwing darts so badly he's about to put out the eye of the nurse he was flirting with earlier. She is, for no reason I can see, still interested. He nearly takes off the top of her head with his dart, and Meredith asks him what the hell he's doing. George: "If Callie can be bad, so can I." Okay, there's the Callie brand of bad, and then there's George bad, which is just...BAD. On his dart, Flirty Nurse gets a little scared and yells at him to watch it. Meredith has to pull him aside and remind him that Callie is so sexy, she's almost dirty hot. And crazier than that, she's hot for him. "So...you could keep using the darts as weapons, or you could go get lucky with the sexy hot dirty girl." George realizes that this is an incredibly easy decision to make and leaves the bar. Cristina walks up to take George's place, and she can't believe that he's going off to get laid when she can't get five minutes alone with Burke. Mere pulls out a quarter and says the day's over, so she's flipping her coin. "Call it." Cristina says the brain surgeon should be heads. ["And the vet should be tails. Complete the thought, ladies!" -- Joe R] Meredith flips it, and is all, "Choice made!" She says she's being impulsive and honest, like Benjamin. Cristina: "Benjamin died. He wasn't impulsive and honest, Meredith. He was sick and brain-damaged. And now he's dead." Mere makes a sad face and puts away her coin. Oh, well! Guess Mere's got some thinking to do.
Bailey finds Mr. Hernandez in the bar, too, and asks if she can sit down. He nods yes, and he looks so pitiful that Bailey comforts him and tells him his son is going to be fine. Mr. Hernandez feels bad for letting him go off with his friends when he knew better. "I just keep picturing him going down that hill...and I didn't stop him. I should have stopped him." Bailey says kids just spin out of control sometimes, and you can't stop them. Mr. Hernandez says yes, you can. "You can control them. It's your job as a parent to control them." He says he went soft when his son needed him to be the father. Bailey looks at him knowingly and fondles a muffin. I bet you can't guess what she's thinking about right now.
Mrs. Seabury and Alex are talking about being slutty. She's wishing she had been slutty in her lifetime, and wonders why she can't be slutty without being called names, since men don't get the same treatment. Alex is like, "Why do you care what people call you? I get called an ass, I don't care. I don't think you're slutty." Mrs. Seabury gulps her drink and asks Alex if he has a girlfriend. Oh, no! Oh, yes. She says she's going to go to the bathroom, and if she finds herself alone in there after two minutes, she'll touch up her makeup and come back out. "But should you have any interest in fulfilling the wish of a potentially dying woman, you know where I'll be." Ha! The dirty sex music starts up, and Mrs. Seabury heads to the bathroom. Alex downs his beer and follows suit. Woo!
Down in her basement dungeon, Callie is dancing to the dirty sex music, wearing nothing but a t-shirt, panties, and sunglasses, and she is ROCKING it. I think I'm in love with her. Unfortunately, Webber passes by as she's gyrating and busts her hard. He stands in her doorway watching. "Getting some exercise, Dr. Torres?" Callie stops and just stands there in her tiny pink panties. "Yes. Yes. Sir. Chief Webber." She pulls off the sunglasses and stops the music. Commercials.
Meredith sits in Joe's Bar alone, sipping a drink. Finn walks in all slow-motion hot, and she smiles at him. Oh, but wait! Here comes McDreamy, also in slow-motion, and she smiles at him too. She's all, "Thanks for coming. Both of you." Ambush! She tells them that she likes them both, and thought she had a choice to make. "And I thought I had to decide. But I think I owe it to myself to consider my options. There's this thing that allows for the considering of options. In the olden days, they called it dating." McDreamy and Finn are intrigued, and both TOTALLY in. Mere says she understands if they're not up for it, but she really hopes they are. She gets up and leaves. My two boyfriends turn and face off. Finn: "You bowing out?" McDreamy: "No. You?" Finn: "I don't think so." Excellent.
Back in the dungeon, Webber and Callie are enjoying a nice cup of coffee together on her basement bed. Webber is telling Callie he understands why she likes living in the hospital: she gets all the best trauma cases in the middle of the night, and he respects that, but also, he can't have it. Callie's all, "So I have to go, but you're allowed to live in your office?" Webber says he guesses he has to follow his own rules if he's throwing her out. They share a laugh, and then George busts in the door. "Okay, I'm jealous! I have a right to be jealous because I don't want other guys touching your panties!" Hee. George takes in the scene of his girlfriend and the chief of surgery all on the bed together, and storms out. "Great! Just great." Webber hands Callie her coffee mug and says she might want to clear that up. I'll say.
Mrs. Seabury gleefully returns from the bathroom and starts gathering up her things. Joe asks if she's heading out, and she replies with a huge grin, "Gotta get back to the hospital, Joe! Gotta go kick this cancer's ass." Aw. Alex made her want to live. That's quite the testament to his skills, all you naysayers.
When Alex walks back from the bathroom and goes to pay his tab, Bailey stops him and tries to apologize for what happened earlier in the day. Alex: "You were right. I shouldn't be getting physical with patients." He walks off with an evil grin.
Mere voice-overs, "The body is a slave to its impulses." Cristina goes back to the hospital to check on Burke and finds his Mama still there, still hovering over her little boy. She tells Cristina sourly that it's late, and Preston needs his sleep. Cristina takes a deep breath and says, "I'm sorry, Mrs. Burke. I was just coming by to see if either of you needed anything before I went home for the evening." Mama says they're fine, but there's a teeny tiny softening in her face. You can't fool us, Mama! MereVO: "But the thing that makes us human is what we can control." Cristina tells Burke good night, and walks out. She runs into Daddy Burke in the hallway, who gives her a little look and says, "Hang in there." Sniff.
MereVO: "After the storm, after the rush, after the heat of the moment has passed..." Callie finds George outside lying on a bench, and hands him a bunch of flowers. "The panties?" she says. "Not mine." George is all, "Yeah?" Callie continues: "The jealousy? Insanely hot." George asks her what's with the suitcase, and she begins Frenching him. Dirty hot! MereVO: "...we can cool off and clean up the messes we've made."
Mere, George, and Callie arrive home to find Izzie baking some more. She's all sweaty and flour-streaked, and tells them she's busy, and they should leave her alone. "Izzie." Mere moves aside to reveal Bailey standing there. Izzie doesn't know what to do. Bailey walks over to Izzie and puts down her purse and starts talking. "I went soft. I had a baby, and I swore it wouldn't change me, but...it does change you. I got tired, I got busy, and I stopped teaching...when you needed a teacher the most." Izzie says Bailey couldn't have stopped her. Bailey says yes, she could have. "You couldn't have stopped you, but I could have. And in the past, I would have. I went soft. And I'm partly to blame for what happened, so I want you to come back. You'll talk to the Chief, we'll work it out, because you're talented, and you're capable." She walks around the counter to where Izzie's standing, still clenching the stirring spoon with an iron grip. Bailey gently pulls it out of her hand. "That's enough muffins." I am crying. A lot.
As Addison opens the door to her hotel room, MereVO says, "We can try to let go of what was." Addie's all showered and in a robe and looking much better than she did during the "Amanda" hours. She glowers at McDreamy. "I thought you were room service." McDreamy walks in and says he feels terrible, and isn't proud of what he did. "You deserve better. And I'm sorry about the...about the panties. The prom. I'm sorry I did that." He walks over and sits down to her on the bed. Addison says she's sorry he did that too, and takes a sip of her fancy champagne. Derek: "Our marriage is over." Addie guesses it is. McDreamy says it's all his fault, and this is incredibly sad. He's not so incredibly sad when the bathroom door opens, and out walks...McSteamy! He's gorgeous, and damp, and in a towel, and remarks, "This is awkward." McDreamy takes a swig of Addie's champagne and says, "I feel much better now." He gets up and walks out. And we get up and fade out. Yay!