Episode Report Card AB Chao: B | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Much Too Much
By AB Chao | Season 2 | Episode 10 | Aired on 11.26.2005
Guy's drape. I guess you could say we've got a penis-eye view. Bailey lifts up the drape to check Running Guy's parts. They are still, uh, at attention. No one can believe the enema didn't work, especially Cristina, who remarks, "Huh. Well, it was an excellent enema." Bailey asks what they do next, and the answer is a needle aspiration. Running Guy: "A NEEDLE? My PENIS?" Poor thing. Mere says they have to drain the blood. Running Guy freaks out and tells them no way, forget it, they're not getting a needle anywhere near his manhood. Bailey: "Well, the next step is penile infarction or gangrene, so if you want it to fall off..." Running Guy thinks about this for about two seconds, and relents. Bailey tells them to get to it. "What goes up? Must come down."Alex runs into APCM's assistant on his way out of the room, and tells him not to let APCM to drink any water until his surgery the next day, even if he begs. He asks if there's any family or friends they should contact. Assistant says he doesn't really get along well with most people. Surprise, surprise! Assistant's like, "But he does have me. Three years as his assistant. I guess I'm his friend." Assistant runs into the room with his sad little tweed-jacketed self.
As Mere and Cristina drain the blood from Running Guy's penis, they discuss the keying of Cristina by Burke. Cristina doesn't want to use it, but knows Burke will be hurt. Mere asks why she kept it, then. Cristina argues that a key in a coffee cup isn't like some kind of binding legal contract. Running Guy cuts in, "Your boyfriend gave you a key to his place?" Cristina: "Why is he talking?" Running Guy says she can't not use the key; Burke put himself out there, he's taking the next step. Cristina tells him he's not really in the best position right now to be handing out relationship advice. Running Guy starts to say more, then notices his newly-deflated penis. Cristina congratulates him on being flaccid. Running Guy: "Never thought I'd be so happy to hear that." Aw, Running Guy is kind of cute.
Quints! Addison introduces Dory and her husband to Burke and George, who will be assisting Burke. Yay! He's Burke's Guy! Burke explains that the quint named Emily has a condition called hypoplastic left heart syndrome, which will require extensive surgery. Burke starts to say something about odds, but Dory interrupts, "I don't believe in odds." Indeed. Burke says he doesn't either, and explains what will happen during the surgery. Dory looks relieved that such a strapping young doctor (I trust you realize I'm not speaking of George here) will be taking care of her baby.
Burke runs into Cristina in the elevator. After several seconds of uncomfortable silence, Burke offers, "It's a key." Cristina is all, "Okay. Good, good." More silence, then Burke drops the bomb. "Or...you could start thinking about moving in with me." Hee. Before she can respond, the elevator door opens, and she takes off. Burke looks for all the world like he's trying to keep from laughing his ass off, which makes me love him even more.
An upset-looking Assistant runs into Alex on his way out of the hospital room. Alex calls after him, "Don't mind me," and I swear to God, my hearing must be going or something, because he says it with an Australian accent. "Dain't moind may!" I actually had to go look it up on IMDb to see where Justin Chambers is from. The answer is Springfield, Ohio, so I'm guessing that's a no. Anyway, APCM says he had to fire Assistant, and without missing a beat complains about how thirsty he is. Hate. Alex says the IV's keeping him hydrated, and that's just the tumor talking. He asks why he fired Assistant. APCM says he could see it in his eyes that he didn't respect him anymore. "Illness is a sign of weakness! Once they see it, they never look at you the same way again!" That is about the most retarded thing I've ever heard. APCM says he's sure Alex, a hotshot doctor, doesn't let any of the other hotshot doctors know about his problems. Alex: "I don't have any problems." APCM says he probably doesn't have any friends, either. Ooh, burn!
Penis-eye view of Bailey again. Bailey takes a look, then says, "Oh my Lord. Ooh, child." Mere's all, "Don't tell me!" Cristina claims that the flag is flying once again. Bailey says they've tried everything, so it must be neural. Cristina gleefully tells Mere that Bailey's already called for a consult. Mere is even more mortified than before, because we all know what that means. And speak of the devil, McDreamy walks in just then, all smiles. "Hello, everybody. What's up?" Heeeeee. Commercials.
McDreamy checks Running Guy out, and asks when the problem started. Running Guy says it started this morning. Bailey excuses herself to consult on one of the quints. McDreamy asks Running Guy when he last ejaculated. Running Guy: "I'm not sure...Meredith?" Oh, NO. Meredith makes a "D'oh!" face as realization dawns on McDreamy's. Cristina takes the opportunity to haul her own ass out of the room. Running Guy makes it TOTALLY worse by leaning over and asking, "Meredith? What time did we, uh...you know?" McDreamy: "Yes, Meredith! What time did you two?" Yes, Meredith, what time? The whole world would love to know.
In the Room of Quints, Addison shows Bailey an ultrasound image of the "omphalocele." Dory's interjects that that's the scariest word yet. Cristina, nonchalantly, "Oh, all it means is that some of the baby's internal organs are growing in a sac outside its body." Lordy, no wonder Cristina can't handle the key. She's completely incapable of feeling emotion. Also, awesome. Dory gets kind of hysterical here. "'All it means?' Her organs are growing outside her body, that's ALL IT MEANS?" Izzie tells Dory it's going to be okay. Bailey explains gently that she's going to remove the sac containing the organs, make a small incision, and put them back inside. Dory leans back and covers her eyes with her arm. "Oh, Julie. She's the quiet one." Okay, fine. I hate that this woman is having five babies at once, but I do feel kind of sorry for her.
Burke finds Cristina in the locker room. She asks him what makes him think they can live together; he doesn't know anything about her. Burke says he knows that she prefers an eleven blade; that she likes saying "pickups" instead of "forceps"; that she likes her coffee from the cart by the front entrance. "I know you." Cristina says those are just little things -- details. Burke repeats, "I know you. You don't want to move, but I can't always be the one that takes the step. Any more steps, and I'm walking away." Ooh. And he does, leaving Cristina to think about how she likes that.
Cut to Nurse Olivia of the Syph banging on APCM's bathroom door. He's locked it, and won't let her in. Alex runs in to help as APCM screams, "I don't need any doctors! I am an island! A beautiful island surrounded by water!" Kill me. Alex tells Olivia to go get some restraints and turn the water off to the floor, as he tries to pick the lock.
McDreamy tells Running Guy that his CT shows a tumor on his lower spine, which is pressing against a nerve, which is causing the perma-woody. Poor Running Guy is like, "A tumor? So...I should be scared, right? This is the time for scared?" He grabs Mere's hand as if they're an old married couple, which McDreamy notes with much amusement. He tells Running Guy that he'll remove the tumor, and everything should return to normal. Running Guy, to Mere: "Can you call my mom? Her number's in my wallet." Mere, hating herself, says she will. McDreamy asks how long they've been seeing each other. Mere immediately says they're not, and Running Guy says they met last night at Joe's. McDreamy: "I met a girl there once myself. A very long time ago." So McDreamy!
Back in APCM's room, Alex is trying and failing to pick the lock. So he breaks down the door, and we are treated to one of the most disgusting things I think I have ever seen, and I watch Nip/Tuck, people: APCM with his head in