Oh, it's all Nationals this week. Will and the kids, along with Burt and Carol, troop out to L.A. to defend their title. Along the way, we're treated to numerous reminders that the New Directions are carrying the heavy weight of death of Finn. Burt and Carol give speeches about him, Will implores Sam to step up into Finn's shoes as the straight white male leader of the group, Sam drags out both Finn's plaque and his drumsticks to keep his presence alive, and the show's editors give us a montage of Finn moments from the show. At one point, it's all too much for Carol, who finds that being with the kids just makes the pain of Finn's absence all too real, so she and Burt decide to leave L.A. just before the competition.
In the nooks and crannies between the beginning of the show and the reveal of the competition results, New Finn hits on Boring New Idiot Rachel, who rejects him and tells him that she's quitting glee club after the competition because some songs she wrote were rejected by a songwriting competition. New Finn and New Puck decide to make peace just long enough to do something about that, so they give her songs to Mercedes Jones, who is reveling in the fact that she's got a new record contract. And Mercedes is able to convince Boring New Idiot Rachel that she's talented and, gosh darn it, people like her.
Burt and Carol have a change of heart, and return to the auditorium just in time to give the kids a pep talk. We get to see songs from two of the New Directions' competitors as well as New Directions, and it's genuinely up in the air as to who might win. Until the New Directions come in second place. Back in Lima, this results in Sue following through on her promise to axe the club if they didn't win Nationals. And she seems to have no intention of backing down.
But what will she do when confronted by three angry singing waiters from New York City? I'm guessing we'll find out week.
Featuring Randy Newman's "I Love LA," sung by the New Directions (primarily Blaine, Will, and Artie); The Go-Go's "Vacation," sung by The Amazonians of Oklahoma City: Boston's "More Than a Feeling," sung by the New Directions (with Blaine and Tina on lead); Neil Diamond's "America," sung by the New Directions; U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For," sung by New Directions (with leading vocals from Sam, Blaine, Artie, and Tina); and a medley of Styx's "Mr. Roboto" and OneRepublic's "Counting Stars," sung by the inestimable Throat Explosion.
Previously, on Glee, it's time for Nationals! And Sue has threatened to shut the New Directions down if they don't win. Thanks for the reminder, "Previously on Glee" guy!
Will is in his office when Sam enters. Will wants to talk to him about stepping up and acting like the leader of the New Directions. Because the group has to have a single leader, and Sam has shown such clear and convincing leadership qualities... I'm sorry, I can't do it. There's absolutely no reason for Will to call on Sam to be the group's leader, rather than Artie or Blaine or Tina. For God' sake, he doesn't even know how to wash his own hair. And while I doubt this is the writers' intent, it's kind of suspect that the guy picked out as the "natural leader" just happens to be the straight, white, able-bodied man. Blech.
Tina enters Will's office and calls the two of them into the choir room, where Burt and Carol have just arrived. They are there to give a sweet and slightly morbid pep talk about how proud Finn was of them and how they should enjoy themselves, because all life is fleeting. We also learn that Burt and Carol are going to come to L.A. with the kids. And then Will decides they need a little "mood music" before hitting the road. He gives the signal to Tinkles, and then starts in on Randy Newman's "I Love LA." Blaine soon takes over the lead, and then the song transitions from the music room to the upper deck of an open-air bus cruising around L.A. What I get out of the song is that the number one tourist destination in L.A. is a chili-dog stand.
Hotel lobby. Will is running into some kind of difficulty with check-in. The kids stand behind him and look around, hoping to spot a celebrity. But the only person they see is Ms. Mercedes Jones. And she's dressed up in a fairly glam manner. It turns out that she was selling her self-produced debut album in a convenience store parking lot when she got a pity purchase from a woman who turned out to be Kanye West's housekeeper. Which led to Mercedes being asked by Sony Records to write songs for some of their top acts. Which she only agreed to do if they would also give her a deal for an album. So now, after all her weeks and weeks of struggle, she's on her way to stardom. What a charming story.
Back at the desk, Will is discovering that Sue (calling in her guise as an L.A.P.D. detective) has called the hotel to cancel his reservation and warn the clerk that "a 50-year old Ohio man, with a perm, has abducted twelve emotionally disturbed teenagers, and if he tried to make a reservation, [the clerk] was to call the F.B.I."
Tina and Sam are in Burt and Carol's hotel room -- Burt is showing Sam how to tie a bow-tie, while Carol is fixing something on Tina's dress. Tina remarks that her life will "feel so empty" after this, their last competition. That sets Carol off a bit, who reminds Tina "at least you get to have one." And then she realizes she said that out loud. Tina apologizes, Carol apologizes, and then Sam and Tina leave. Carol tells Burt that she really wanted to be their for the team, and that she thought being around all of Finn's friends would make her feel close to him, but all it's really doing is reminding her that he's gone. Burt, of course, is the perfect husband, telling her that there's no need for them to stay. Look, Romy Rosemont and Mike O'Malley are amazing in this scene (and all of their scenes), but this writing is just so maudlin and manipulative.
Oh, hello shirtless New Puck. He's lying in bed reading while New Finn pesters him to get ready. I guess these guys have been fighting? Or not talking to each other, or something, over all the stupid romantic bullshit they're involved in, about which none of us cares. In any case, New Finn tells New Puck about Stupid New Idiot Rachel's plans to quit the glee club, and they decide they need to get someone famous to listen to her songs and tell her she's got talent. And then stupid New Puck puts a shirt on. God damn it!
Team bus. Sam discovers that Finn's plaque is missing from its case, and he gets frantic. He notices Throat Explosion walking by, and runs out of the bus to accuse them of the theft. Nothing comes of the confrontation, except for a reminder that the New Directions are only at Nationals on a technicality, and that they couldn't even win their own Sectionals. Also, the entire team overhears the confrontation. Sam enters the bus and gives them another Finn-centric pep talk. Commercials.
It's showtime! Mercedes enters the hall and greets the kids before taking her seat. The judges are introduced. This year we get Marlee Matlin, Jackée Harry, and the Prancerise lady. Well, these should be some interesting deliberations. (Spoiler: they won't be.) And then the show starts off with the Amazonians of Oklahoma City, singing The Go-Go's "Vacation." They sound fine, but their Vegas showgirl costumes and beach ball choreography aren't much to write home about. While the song goes on, we get a quick cutaway to Burt and Carol packing up and heading out on the open road. And then we get to see Throat Explosion, with their medley of Styx's "Mr. Roboto" and OneRepublic's "Counting Stars." They start out in robot masks and dark camo jump suits. Which they strip off to reveal royal blue suits and dresses for the second song. The judges are eating it up. Commercials.
The New Directions are getting ready backstage. Sam peeks out under the curtain and sees that Burt and Carol aren't in their seats. Will tells them, "They're with us in spirit, just like Finn." Will calls them into a circle and tells them, "We're not like the other teams here. We don't have the big budget, or the giant pool of students to pull from." If the New Directions budget (which includes fully staged numbers, complete with costumes, lighting, and water effects at least once per week) is small, I cannot possibly imagine what a large budget would be like. Will also tries to tell them that they're "not there to win, but to sing and dance our hearts out." And then a voice calls out, "Oh, that's horse poop, Schuester!" It's Carol -- she and Burt had second thoughts and came back. She gives them another Finn-centric pep talk, and tells them to crush the competition.
And then the New Directions perform a set comprised of Boston's "More Than a Feeling," (with Blaine and Tina on lead); Neil Diamond's "America," (with tons of kids taking turns on lead vocals); and U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For," (with leading vocals from Sam, Blaine, Artie, and Tina). The dancing is way below the standard of the two groups we've already seen, but the vocals are great. As with the best New Directions performances, it demonstrates just how many strong singers they have. As the third song starts, Carol leans over to Burt and whispers that they're singing all of Finn's favorite songs. As the kids belt out their U2, we get brief shots of a smiling, happy Finn in a ton of different scenes. And as the performance ends, Sam pulls a pair of Finn's drumsticks from behind his back and holds them high over his head. Shut up! I'm not crying, you're crying. They get a nice standing ovation as they finish.
Backstage, Will congratulates the kids, and then notices that Sam is missing. He finds him around a corner, with tears in his eyes. Will pulls him into a hug as Sam whisper "I did my best. I did my best." Very nice work from Chord Overstreet. Commercials.
Stupid New Idiot Rachel is hanging out on the theater's loading dock. Mercedes walks out behind her and tells her, "Three minutes." By which Mercedes means that when one of Marley's songs gets rejected, she's allowed three minutes for self-pity before she gets back on the horse. Mercedes tells her that she has talent, and that it won't be long before she's writing songs for big stars. Stars just like Mercedes Jones. Stupid New Idiot Rachel asks how Mercedes got ahold of her songs. Mercedes: "A couple of birdies. Those guys really care about you. Don't mean you should date 'em." YES! Mercedes speaks the truth!