By Demian | Season 5 | Episode 2 | Aired on 10.03.2013
Fake Drama School in New York. St. Gay Of Lima enters the dance studio to find The Horrible Hooker Of Broadway listlessly tuning a piano, and he decides it's long past time she got her mojo back after that disastrous Funny Girl callback of hers, so he promptly propels himself into his rendition of "Get Back," which is perhaps the one Beatles song I never needed to hear them cover on this show. Of course, Old Idiot Rachel quickly joins in, and the two of them prance and strut around the room for a while, and then it's time for this evening's first commercial break.
McKinley High. Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen enters the nurse's office to find a perky and bright-eyed young woman giving a meningitis vaccination to a salami, and then falls all over himself in a desperate attempt to locate the exit, because that's how much needles freak him out. So, you know, consider this the Meet Cute for these two characters, who are clearly meant to be dating each other by the end of this evening's episode. And because I do not give a flying rat's crap about any of the tedious, angst-ridden romantic subplots on this show, here's what you need to know about Sam's new missy: Her name is Penny Owen, she's a sophomore in college who's only taken a few nursing courses so far and she's a moron. In fact, she might very well be the only thing on this show that's stupider than Sam's hair. You should also probably know she's being played by Phoebe Strole, a talented Broadway veteran who's probably kicking herself for ending up on this Ryan Murphy show, rather than the one that's actually good. And are we done here? Excellent.
Out in the hall, Single-T Tina's berating her seldom-seen assistant, Dottie Kazatori, because Single-T Tina's turned into a Grade-A shrew over this whole Prom Queen thing. Of course, the fact that Pretty Kitty's poll numbers just spiked isn't helping matters, nor is the fact that The Hallowed Halls of Dear McKinley High are now plastered with posters promoting Kitty's candidacy. "This is unbelievable!" Tina fumes as she stomps over to get all up in Kitty's face. "I didn't put these up!" Kitty protests, seemingly quite sincere about it all. "That's not even me," she points out, noting that somebody Photoshopped her head onto Olivia Munn's body. "Oh, please," Tina sneers by way of response, adding, "I should have known when you weirdly said you'd support me, it was just some classic back-stabby, Gaslight-y Kitty mind game." Various other Glee Clubbers arrive to berate Kitty for her supposed duplicity -- with Artie in particular voicing a very deep disappointment in his brand-new girlfriend -- and once they've all breezed on by, Pretty Kitty starts ripping down the posters in a rage, all while under the spying eye of New Santana. Yawn.