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Rory, in her pajamas, meets her hero, Christiane Amanpour! That's...really all that happens with that; they just meet, but it's so cool, it must be mentioned. Though Lorelai and Rory have planned a crazy roller-coaster tour of the country, Rory must bail when she gets a surprise job offer to cover Barack Obama's campaign for an online magazine. The thing is, she has to leave in three days, breaking the hearts of the whole town, which was looking forward to her reenactment party. When Luke sees the full scope of the tragedy, he enrolls Sookie in planning a surprise party to be held before Rory departs. Everyone gets involved in a secret town meeting where they overthrow Taylor's protests, and there is all sorts of sneaking around behind the Girls' backs. Lane consoles Rory when she has a panic attack about going off and leaving everything behind. Meanwhile, Lorelai is staying maniacally busy to keep from showing how traumatized she is. Finally, she admits that she's holding herself together until the last minute. During the party setup at 1:00 AM, Babette has a premonition (via her ankles) of a huge rainstorm. Luke stays up all night sewing a tent, and the party goes on as planned, even with a downpour. Even the Grandparents show up. Richard emotionally praises Lorelai for her excellent work as a parent, as does Rory, and Emily thaws one degree when she understands Lorelai wants to continue the Friday Night Dinners, even after Rory is gone. When Lorelai realizes how much Luke has done to pull off the party, she goes to thank him. "I just like to see you happy," he says, and they kiss. On her last morning in Stars Hollow, Rory sits with Lorelai in the diner and, as Luke cooks for them in the background, they chatter over their coffee and we all say goodbye. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously, on Gilmore Girls ...Everything. This is truly one of the most unique, intelligent, heartfelt shows ever to be on TV, and though it has had its ups and downs, even at its very worst, it was better than most. I surprised myself when I realized how disappointed I was that it was going off the air, but I am glad to see it go out on a high note, and hope it isn't long before every member of the cast, down to the most infrequently seen townie, is back on my TV screen. As for Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel? It will be hard to see them in the future without each other. And, as for Scott Patterson... well. Call me.
Lorelai is driving quickly into the parking area of the Inn, having just run home to drag Rory out of bed, in her pajamas, to see the alleged Christiane Amanpour. Rory ain't buying it: "Remember the time when you thought you saw Sandra Day O'Connor?" Rory reminds her mother. Lorelai: "Yeah, well, this is different. I haven't had any cough syrup." Rory rolls her eyes. "I guarantee you, it's not her," she says, walking in and eyeing up this alleged Amanpour. "OH MY GOD, it's Christiane Amanpour!" Rory says with shock. They both freak out. "I told you!" Lorelai says, while Rory panics about having to meet her idol while wearing pajamas. Michel flits by, informing them that Ms. Amanpour checked in late the night before. "She's staying here?" Lorelai asks, shocked. "You didn't tell me?" Michel says he was trying to avoid yet another embarrassing incident where Lorelai embarrasses herself in front of celebrities. "Marisa Tomei's mother's best friend," she says in her own defense regarding one particular incident, "is my hairdresser's cousin's roommate. That's just freaky!" They brush off Michel's concerns, and Lorelai says she will go say hello to Amanpour and ask if she'll meet Rory. "Okay," Rory says, freaking out. "Wait! Don't be funny!" Lorelai goes over and respectfully says hello, shaking hands with Amanpour. She asks if she can introduce Rory, whom she proudly lauds as a recent Yale grad and editor of the newspaper. Shyly, Rory peeks out from behind a post, finally coming over to say a very exuberant hello. Listen, nothing else happens with this -- it's awesome that they got Christiane Amanpour on the show and she is very cool, but yadda yadda, Rory meets her and it is great. She even gives Rory her card, encouraging her to send her some clips.
Whatever, it's awesome, but I'm already tearing up because, sniff, the credits music is starting and Carole King and her daughter are singing and (SOB!) it is the last time we will ever hear it on a new episode. Okay, I promise I am not going to do this through the whole recap. OH MY GOD IT'S THE LAST RECAP. Waaaah! Hold on. No, actually, I'm happy about that part, especially when the scene starts and Rory and Lorelai are having a chatter-fest about the big roller coaster adventure they're planning. As Rory addresses and seals dozens of resumés to send out to newspapers, Lorelai looks up coasters on the Web and reviews the itinerary. After Great Adventure, she says, their stop will be Lake Compounce, home of the Boulder Dash. "The number-one choice of wooden roller coasters, according to Mr. Arthur Levine of About.com," Lorelai quotes, and Rory acknowledges the venerable Levine's coaster genius. "You can admit if you're scared!" Lorelai says, ominously, but Rory denies it. After the Boulder Dash, they will head to Coney Island, followed by the Millennium Force in Ohio. "This site calls it a 'giga-roller coaster,'" Lorelai says. Holy SHIT, people, go and LOOK at that thing. I think a ride on the Millennium Force would make even Lorelai stop talking for a second. I am a notorious chicken re: speeding to my death from a height of three hundred feet, so I think I would have to give it a pass.
After a little smack talk about how she's going to ride it with no hands, Rory stands triumphant at her desk. "I'm done," she says. "Seventy-four resumes, addressed and sealed." Lorelai can't withhold the snark. "Not at all excessive," she jokes, but Rory says she just didn't want to leave any stones unturned. Lorelai assures her that all forms of rocks, pebbles and boulders have been thoroughly turned, indeed. Rory's about to make a snappy comeback when she opens one of her moving boxes and pulls out Logan's rocket. Pulls out. Logan's rocket. Hmm. I tried to make it sound less dirty, but it isn't possible. Rory sighs, saying she hasn't talked to him since the big moment and that the sadness comes in waves. "Big ones," she says, "really close together." Lorelai commiserates, promising that the waves will get smaller and that it's best to let herself be sad if she needs to. "Believe me," Rory assures her, "I'm letting myself feel plenty sad." Rory says she can't imagine it feeling better. "Do you feel better about Luke?" she asks her mom. Lorelai is downright sanguine when she says yeah, she feels better. "Because, I think," she says, "we're done." Rory is alarmed. Maybe, she says, they just need more time. "More time?" Lorelai rages. "I've given him all the time in the world." She says every time she's vulnerable or makes some gesture like, for example, the karaoke song, he "doesn't do anything." Wait a minute. Every time you passive-aggressively show that you might be, possibly interested in him, maybe, perchance... you're mad because he doesn't respond with a direct declaration of love? Chalk one up to Lorelai -- I adore her, but she ain't learned a single lesson about men in seven seasons, despite being engaged three times and married once.
"I just don't think he's over you," Rory tells her, but Lorelai says it doesn't matter. She's over him. "I need someone who can feel, you know?" she says. "Who can show me how he feels. He can't do that." Anyway, she says, she thinks they're better as friends. You know, coffee friends, she says. "Or like, 'hey, Luke, can you make all the burgers for Rory's reenactment graduation party,' you know?" HA. Rory has to pause. "Hmm," she says, "what reenactment graduation party?" Lorelai: "It's just uh...a graduation reenactment party that we're gonna have for all the people that couldn't attend your graduation!" Despite her attempts to casually make it seem like something normal people would do, Rory is less than thrilled with the party idea. "MOM," she says, when she hears the details. "You owe me."
At the diner, Luke is taking a meat delivery. What? Hmm? Did I say something funny? Look, these things just write themselves. I await the delicious Charlie the meat guy/Luke fanfic. Luke orders a bunch of burgers and hot dogs, despite Charlie's high-pressure sale on bratwurst, and Charlie leaves, disappointed, just as Liz is coming in. My eyes glaze over for the rest of this scene because... though I can accept many things, I cannot accept that Liz can somehow afford a Bugaboo stroller. I mean, only the best for Doula and all, but Liz makes jewelry out of fishing line, and T.J. is employed as a professional irritant. After trying (and failing) to flim-flam Luke into babysitting while she shops for a dress for Rory's party, Liz asks if he gave Lorelai the necklace. Luke hems and haws, insisting he just bought it as a backup gift for Rory. Liz won't hear of it. "That was no backup gift!" she says. "And what about the song!" Luke says again that the "I Will Always Love You" moment meant nothing, and that if Liz is so insistent on Lorelai having the necklace, maybe she should give it to her. He casually asserts that he and Lorelai are done, acting like it's no big deal. Liz shrugs, asking him to mix up some sweet potato and banana for Doula, and he goes to the back to blend it, yelling back over his shoulder: "Don't slip out while I'm making it." Busted. Poor Kathleen Wilhoite, always playing the bad mom. Eight thousand years ago when ER was just starting, she was great as a bad mom, too, and I'd link to the show recap where Susan runs around freaking out because Chloe can't find the baby, or whatever happened but seriously, I am pretty sure I saw that episode when I was still in college, before the internet was even invented.
It's Friday night at the Gilmore mansion, and Rory has yet to arrive. Emily, naturally, is bitching that Rory has taken a meeting during the all-important FND hour, but Lorelai assures her that Rory will be there soon. Apparently, Rory is having drinks with the ever-helpful Hugo Gray. Emily says again that she doesn't think this meeting should be cutting into FND. "Maybe we'll stay later, then," Lorelai says with unprecedented generosity. "For after-dinner drinks?" Emily asks, excited. "Mmmaybe," Lorelai says, and who can blame her? Emily snarks about the upcoming roller-coaster trip. "You're riding roller coasters for a month?" she asks. "This is what Yale graduates do?" Sigh. Lorelai says Rory is tired and needs a break and some fun. Plus, Lorelai says, soon Rory will have a job and will be moving on. "This might be my last shot. This might be the last time I can spend time with her like this." At this, Emily, world's biggest drama queen, has the audacity to suggest that Lorelai's being maudlin. Instead of questioning why Lorelai has shown up to dinner wearing a dress made of material more appropriate for Dancing With the Stars, Emily reveals her newest big idea: she wants Lorelai to put a spa in at the Inn. "Spas," she says, "are exploding." Lorelai: "Sounds dangerous." Emily says spa destinations are the big thing in destination vacations -- little country inns are out. Lorelai insists that business is great right now. "I don't need to start rubbing people with hot rocks," she says, "or wrapping people in seaweed." They are still arguing about it when Rory comes in, but Lorelai promises to think about it.
"Hi," Rory says. "I got a job." Everyone flips. But that's not all -- she leaves in three days. Hugo Gray offered her the position with his online magazine to travel with and cover Barack Obama's Presidential campaign. "I would be traveling with them," Rory says. "I'd be filing stories from the road right up until the convention." She says it wouldn't pay much, but Richard points out that that doesn't matter, as she's just starting out. "It could be quite grueling, Rory," Emily says. "All that constant travel, the seedy motels." Lorelai, smiling with tears starting to form in her eyes, says Rory can handle it. Rory's excited, but she's nervous -- being on a campaign means that she will not be able to come home except on holidays, and if Obama does well, it could be a really long time before she's back in Stars Hollow. "And the roller coasters," she says. "How am I going to go on all the roller coasters if I have to leave and I have to be in Iowa on Monday at the town hall meeting at the Quality Inn Suites bar in Muenster City?!" Lorelai, obviously controlling her powerful emotions of pride and sadness, says again that Rory can handle it. "So, this is it," Emily adds, totally maudlin. "This is the last time we'll see you for...who knows how long." WAAAAAHH!! I know, I know, I promised, but...when the cut around the table and SOB! Edward Herrmann looks all sad and glassy-eyed, I cannot withhold the tears. Lorelai feels for her parents, even in her own moment of personal emotional upheaval. "After-dinner drinks," she says, "for sure."
The morning, Rory is in full panic mode as she and Lorelai walk into Luke's. Her new job has given her a crazy long list of items she'll need for work, and some of them, such as a laptop car adapter, seem nigh on impossible to find. Lorelai tries to calm her, saying their mission over the few days will be to track down all the stuff, even if they have to find an all-night laptop car adapter store. It has just occurred to me during this repeated viewing that...well, where is Rory going to plug in a laptop car adapter? Do the campaign buses have individual adapters at every seat? Really, I'm asking. Otherwise, she'd be begging the bus driver every day for a few minutes with the cigarette lighter. Cesar arrives to provide coffee, overdoing it on the customer service. He's trying to show Luke that he's capable of managing the place if Luke leaves, even though he knows the boat trip has been cancelled. What's weird is that Cesar has already proved this, so I am not sure what that was all about, but whatev -- the point of this scene is that Lorelai has to tell Luke to call off all the burgers and stuff for the reenactment party, because the party's cancelled.
Luke barely has time to react, however, because elsewhere in the diner, the gaggle of townies has overheard the party news and is displeased. "Wait a second," Kirk yells, backed up by Lulu, Babette and Patty. "Did you just say Rory's graduation party is cancelled?" Lorelai tries to put the best face on it, smiling big. "Oh, no, it's GOOD news!" she says, telling them all about Rory's new job. "But you promised us a reenactment!" Babette shrieks. Kirk tries to save it, with fear in his voice, saying they can still have the party, just with Lulu playing the part of Rory. "But it's not the same, Kirk," Patty wails as Rory, Lorelai and Luke look on in horror. Lorelai thinks fast, pushing Rory off her stool. Why they don't just run out the door, I don't know, but instead, Lorelai grabs a menu and stages the reenactment right there in the diner. "Everybody...the graduate...Lorelai Leigh Gilmore!" she says, presenting Rory with the menu and making cheering-crowd noises. "You are one of tomorrow's future leaders, uh, today." Rory shakes her hand and accepts the menu. "I'm so glad to have graduated," she says, "summa cum Luke!" Yay, Lorelai cheers, but the townies are left cold. With hilarious blank stares, they gaze upon Rory. "That's not how I imagined it," Babette croaks, and Rory hangs her head as her mom apologizes and explains that they don't have time to organize a party, since Rory has to leave in two days. "Two daaaays?" Miss Patty moans, and making more apologies and promises to come by and say goodbye later, Lorelai and Rory leave. Luke, at the counter, looks on wistfully. He has an idea.
Sookie is at the Inn cooking up some bouillabaisse when Luke comes in. He wants her help throwing Rory's party anyway, despite the sped-up timeline. "Oh, yeah?" Sookie asks, her eyes lit up with excitement, especially when Luke says he thinks they should make it a surprise party. "I think Rory would really love it," Luke says. Sookie nudges him. "I think Lorelai would really love it," she says. Luke, casual: "Yeah, Rory and Lorelai." Sookie laughs, says she is all over the desserts, and tells him to give Jackson a call for help as well. As Luke walks out, she watches him, grinning.
Out in Stars Hollow, Rory is shopping through her list of items she has to get before leaving. Lorelai advises her about travel shampoo, saying 23 small bottles are lighter than one large bottle, which...I'm not sure if that's technically accurate, but perhaps it would be easier to pack them? ["Not to mention...you're on the road, not shipwrecked. I'm thinking you can buy more shampoo along the way?" -- Miss Alli] They discuss other stuff, like the postcards Rory wants to get to send to Lorelai from all her road stops. "You could just email me," Lorelai reminds her, but Rory says postcard-writing is a dying art and getting mail is so much better than email. "Plus," she adds, thinking of being separated from her mom, "we'll talk all the time." Lorelai shrugs. "Yeah, yeah," she says, and she immediately goes back to discussing the list. Rory looks worried for a second, but is soon caught up in the other items she needs. Lorelai has a sudden recollection -- when Miss Patty hurt her back last spring demonstrating ballet moves for the little daffodils, she got a chair back support thing to help her with the pain. Lorelai is sure she'd loan it to Rory. "Yeah," Rory says, "but do I really want to be known as Back Support Thingy Girl?" Lorelai: "Hello. Two-hour speech. Metal folding chairs. 'And now we'll take questions for an hour.'" Rory sees the logic. They arrive at the dance studio to find the door closed and locked. "Weird," Lorelai says. "She never locks this." Patty cracks the door to their knocks. "I'm consulting with my muse," she says, not letting them see into the darkened studio. Good thing, too, since the entire town is inside pressed up against the wall, hiding from them. When Rory and Lorelai leave and the coast is clear, they hold their secret town meeting. Well, actually, Taylor wants them to all understand that this is not an official town meeting, as they have already broken several of Robert's Rules. Lane sighs. "Taylor, isn't it worth breaking a few rules over?" she snarks. "It is Rory, for God's sake." Hee. Beautiful. Lane has grown up.
The townies get into a side discussion about the delicious pies Sookie is cooking up, causing Taylor to do his usual shrill routine. Well, what's a town meeting if it doesn't get on my nerves? Why should the last one being any different? SOB! Taylor tries to put his foot down, saying Luke doesn't have the proper permits to barbecue on the square, but the crowd will have none of it. "Hey, Taylor," Babette yells. "If this meetin's unofficial, then whatever you say is unofficial. Luke's barbecuin'." They discuss the arrangements -- Kirk will be the DJ and Lulu will bring balloons -- and all of it stresses Taylor right out. "This is highly irregular," he screeches. At this, Zach stands to be counted. "DUDE," he says, forcefully. "You're who's highly irregular." Finally, somebody says it. Luke joins in. "I don't know what your problem is," he says, "but the town wants to throw this party, and you're either gonna join us, or you're gonna stay home and comb your beard." HA! Well, I don't know why you had to drag his beard into it, but okay. With rousing cheers, Luke tells them all to meet in the square after dark to get started.
That evening, Rory and Lorelai seem to have finished up their shopping for the day, and Rory is preparing to go over to Lane's. Rory tries to get Lorelai to come along, but her mom says she needs to have some Lane-time. "Yeah," Rory says, "but it's cutting into our you-and-me-time, which there just isn't enough of." Lorelai says there's plenty of time. "Thirty-six hours is not plenty of time!" Rory insists, but Lorelai says it is. "Imagine if you had a 36-hour flight," she says. "That would seem like a long time, right? Plus, I have to go to Sookie and Jackson's and get you that fanny pack." Rory: "You honestly think I'm gonna wear a fanny pack?" Lorelai says all she knows is that a fanny pack is on the list (why?), and if it's on the list, she's getting it. Rory tries to argue, asking when in her right mind she'll be wearing one. "Perhaps the senator might like a piece of gum, and no one has any," she says, "and then they say 'what about that girl with the lime green fanny pack?'" As Rory tries to accept a reality in which she might wear a lime green fanny pack, we see the townies sneaking up to the square en masse with all their party supplies. Lorelai and Rory are oblivious and continue to argue. "And then, BAM," Lorelai is saying. "You're Gum Buddies with the future President of the United States." Her "BAM" alerts the sneaking crowd, and as Rory makes fun of being somebody's gum buddy, the townies sneak silently back from whence they came. It's awesome.
At Lane's apartment, the two grown-up girls sit on a bench out front, reminiscing about stinky boys and first kisses. "How weird is this?" Lane says. "Yesterday we were sitting on your mom's front porch, playing jacks and praying to grow boobs. And now, look at us. I have a husband and two babies in there, and you're about to go off and conquer the world, or at least write about it." Rory laughs. "We've come a long way, baby," she says. They are interrupted by Zach, who needs a private word with Lane, inside. "I just got a call from Luke," he says. Apparently the townies are ready to start setting up the square for the party. "Yeah, so?" Lane says. So, Zach explains, they can't do it while Rory is sitting on Lane's front porch, staring at the square in question. "They can't start setting up until she goes home," Zach says. When he suggests that she and Rory hurry it up, Lane swings on him. "It's my last night with my best friend," she says, giving him the laser eyes. Zach's blood runs cold. "You're done when you're done," he says.
Back outside, Lane finds Rory staring morosely into space. She asks what's wrong. "In the past two minutes, sitting here," Rory says, "I've managed to completely freak myself out." Lane consoles her with a hand on her shoulder. "Rory," she says, "you're going to do an amazing job; you always do." But see, Rory says, that's what she says. It's not a given that she's going to be amazing. "What if I'm a terrible reporter?" she says. Lane takes a tone as the voice of reason: "Then you'll figure out how to get better." Rory says she's still freaking -- she's even worried about leaving her mom. "See?" she says, almost crying. "I'm not ready. What reporter freaks about about leaving their mom?" Lane looks right in her eye. "The lucky kind," she says. Rory sighs, and says it's just embarrassing, especially because Lorelai seems to be handling it so well. "I'm sure she's freaking out on the inside," Lane says. Rory sighs again. "Lane," she says, "your friendship means so much to me. It's so..." They tear up. SOB. Lane: "Me too." Rory: "I mean, I don't know what it's like to have a sister." (Except...um, she does have a sister. Named Gigi. And her mom is practically her sister, so...whatever, I'm still crying.) The two friends laugh again. "Mrs. VanGerbig," Rory teases. Lane: "Ms. Gilmore."
Back at home, Lorelai is ironing all of Rory's clothes on the theory that the flatter they are, the more she can fit into the suitcase. Rory, still emotional, tells her that saying goodbye to Lane was hard, and Lorelai dismisses it, picking up the fanny pack convo where they left off. Finally, Rory's had enough. "Mom," she interrupts. "I don't get it. How can you be so fine with everything?" Finally, Lorelai has to face it. "It's too soon," she says quietly. "If I stop to think about you leaving, now, I'm going to fall apart. We still have time left. It's too soon." Oh my God. Please, please make me stop crying, dammit. It IS too soon! For this SHOW to be off the air! Ain't right! Damn you to Hell, CW! You saddle us with yet another season of Chad Michael Murray and his squinting, hair-gelled, costar-marrying ass and can't make it work for these awesome people? Hate.
In the square, Luke is ordering the folks around during the setup. Turns out, East Side Tillie had a stash of table cloths in her basement, and Patty was delighted to wake her out of a deep sleep to get them. Even the Mystery Asian Waiter from the diner has a line when he arrives with a turntable for Kirk's DJ action. I am barely processing this when Babette comes screaming across the square. Her ankles are swollen! Not to be evil, but I expect it's been a long time since they weren't. She says her ankles only swell in premonition of a huge rainstorm, and Nick Walker, the Weather Channel's charming silver fox, confirms it. "Sorry for the bad news," she says, "but you know my ankles." Luke nods. "Yeah," he says, "that's true. They're never wrong." Hee. Babette says yeah, her hairs only 50/50, but the ankles are never wrong. Jackson, Brian, and Zach try to think of ideas, but none of them will work. "I don't suppose anybody has any idea where we can get a big wedding tent at one o'clock in the morning?" Jackson moans. They all sigh. "It was a nice idea, man," Zach says to Luke and they all wander away, defeated.
At the CS, Rory is asleep when Lorelai comes quietly into her room. She sits on the edge of her daughter's bed, sighs, and cries while the strummies strum. SO DO I.
Meanwhile, at the diner, I KEEP CRYING, as Luke sews a huge tent out of various tarps and raincoats. He opens the drawer under the register and finds the box with the "back-up necklace." He puts it in his pocket and keeps sewing.
It is indeed storming the day as Lorelai and Rory drive through town. Rory complains that no one is picking up their phones, which will make it hard for her to find them to say goodbye. "We'll track 'em all down," Lorelai promises, but as they pull up the square, they realize they won't have to. The whole town is there, under a huge tent, cheering and waving good luck signs. "I think you're gonna get to say goodbye to everybody," Lorelai says, and from the tent, Jackson and Zach run out with huge umbrellas. Even THAT is making me cry. The husband of Lorelai's best friend and the husband of Rory's best friend? SOB. I am getting ridiculous over here. I'm supposed to be a mean ol' recapper! But, but...y'all. I'm giving myself a sinus headache. "Did you...?" Rory asks her mom, amazed. Lorelai shakes her head. "No," she says, "I didn't do a thing." They arrive at the tent to the cheers of the whole town -- everyone is there, clapping and yelling about how they love her. The camera lingers for a moment on Sookie, tears in her eyes, and moves to Luke, looking on proudly. Kirk steps out, in his capacity as town sash presenter, to present her with a Rory Gilmore sash, which he also made as, you know, town sash maker. "Kneel before me!" he says, officially, but when Rory cringes, he allows her to merely bow her head. "I got the material from one of Mother's nighties," he says, and Rory's subsequent "ew" is drowned out by the cheering throng. Even the Grandparents are there, standing at a remove. Emily is sure to get in a complaint about the last-minute nature of the party, but Richard and Lorelai ignore her. "I can't believe they did this all for her," Lorelai says, looking at the party, but Richard says he thinks the party is for more than just Rory. "I think it's a testament to you and the home you've created here," he says, causing me to cry like I have never cried before. "I regret...that you needed to..." But of course Emily can't let him finish. "Oh, please, don't become one of those 'I had a heart attack, let me express my every thought' types," she groans. SHUT UP, EMILY. I AM TRYING TO CRY, OVER HERE.
Even in the face of her scorn, Richard rises above the Gilmore tradition of coldness toward Lorelai and says what has needed to be said for seven seasons. "It takes a remarkable person," he says, choking up, "to inspire all of this." Lauren Graham absolutely kills me as she squeaks out a "Thanks, Dad," with tears in her eyes, and I have to just throw away the thesaurus, because I have run out of ways to describe myself, and other people, crying. Emily can take no more. "That's enough," she snarks. "It's not as if the two of you are saying goodbye." And of course, neither of them hugs their daughter, which makes me very mad, but I expected no more.
As Taylor begins his unofficial farewell speech to Rory, Emily leans over to Lorelai, asking again if she's thought more about the spa idea. "Yeah," Lorelai says. "I don't think I'm interested, though." Emily's face goes pale, but that could be because of the speech Taylor's giving. It's almost too gross for me to recap, but I shall do my duty. The town, Taylor says, is pregnant with pride and anticipation, and preparing to birth her from their collective womb, into the world. It seriously, includes him saying they're going to push her out, spank her bottom and wipe the amniotic fluid from her eyes as she takes her first independent breath. Gag. "Is this speech making you a little queasy?" Emily whispers to Lorelai. No one is more queasy than Rory, but she gamely takes the mic to say a few words. "I love this place," she says. "I just loved growing up here." She tells them all that she loves them, and she thanks them for the amazing party. "I don't want to gush," she says, getting emotional, "except one more. To my mom, who is just everything to me, and everything I am. And, who I'm gonna miss. So much." The whole world is crying. Even Taylor is choked up and puts his arms around Rory, calling for the party to get started.
Night falls and crazy dancing ensues. Lorelai's about to get to eat something when Emily comes back over, saying they're going to leave, but want to say goodbye to Rory. As they go to find her, Emily bends her ear again about the Inn. Instead of a spa, she suggests, what about a tennis court? "It's a little expensive," Emily says, as Lorelai rolls her eyes behind her back, "but your father and I have discussed it and we're willing to loan you the money." This appeals to Lorelai about as much as you'd expect, but when Emily says the terms of the loan would require them to get together from time to time to see how things are progressing, Lorelai figures it out. "Mom," she says, "why don't we just talk about it Friday night. At dinner." Emily is thrilled, of course, but can't let on. "So, our Friday night dinners are going to continue then?" she asks. Lorelai cringes and forces herself to say it: "We might as well. I've kind of gotten used to it." Emily must concentrate with the full force of her Protestant heritage in order not to crack a smile. "All right," she says. "But don't be late and don't wear jeans to dinner." Lorelai sighs, saying she's never worn jeans to dinner, and the two of them are back to their normal bickering when Rory and Richard walk up. "There you are," Emily says, starting a lecture about how Rory must keep in touch with postcards, phone calls, etc. Her stern tone quickly dissipates, though. "It's an honor to be your grandmother, Rory Gilmore," Emily says, and oh, what's that? I'M CRYING AGAIN. Dear Everybody Who Votes for Awards in Hollywood: What is WRONG with you? Look at these people! Kelly Damn Bishop?! Edward Freaking Herrmann?! LAUREN GRAHAM? Give them. Some Flipping. Statuettes. Rory clings to her G-units and walks them to their car as Sookie walks up.
Lorelai tells her that the party is beautiful and she can't believe she pulled it off. "I just did all the baking," Sookie tells her. "This was all Luke." Lorelai is amazed. "He made me promise not to say anything," Sookie goes on, "but I don't care. This is ALL Luke. He did all of it." She tells Lorelai how Luke planned the whole thing, came to her and had the town meeting and how, last night, when they heard about the storm, Luke went around getting tarps and raincoats. "I don't know how he did it," Sookie says, exuberant. "He must have stayed up all night doing this. Can you believe it?" Lorelai has a funny look on her face. "Yeah," she says. "I'll be back." She wanders slowly toward the diner, avoiding getting sidelined by Kirk and Taylor, both being ridiculous in their classic ways. She even declines to make a Morey sandwich with Babette, heading straight across the street.
Luke comes out of the diner to see her walking up. "Hey," she says, all vulnerable and on the edge of tears. "Thank you." He tries to brush it off, saying it was no big deal. She gets quiet. "Luke," she almost-whispers, cutting through his denial. He sighs, at last prepared to say the truth. "I just like to see you happy," he says, and finally, finally, finally, they rush together and, to the strains of a million squees and the gorgeous lyrics of the Mighty Lemon Drops, they kiss, and my husband and dog and I abandon all hope that any of us will ever cease sobbing.
It's very early morning at the CrapShack as Rory and Lorelai complete the packing. "I just feel like I need more time," Lorelai says. "I really just feel ambushed." She says she thought she had the whole summer to impart her wisdom about life and work. "On the bus," she says, "make sure you choose a good seat. Get a window seat, honey, because there's so much to see." She suggests sitting toward the back of the bus, because those people are just more fun. The front-of-the-bus people just tend to be more bossy and uptight, she says, for whatever reason. "It's been that way since first grade." She goes on and on, reminding Rory not to wear shorts on the bus, as it's not professional, and not to be too shy. Or too forward. "You make a lovely first impression," she says, "but you really grow on people, too." Rory finally has to interrupt her as Lorelai rants on about giving her that orange sweater Rory has always wanted. "Mom," Rory says, "you've given me everything I need." My eyes are out of tears, and apparently so are Lorelai's. Okay, she says, and she asks if Rory's ready. "What's the rush?" Rory asks. "It's like, 5:00 AM." Lorelai picks up some luggage. "We've got," she says, "a stop to make."
They arrive at the diner in the dark. Inside, Luke has one little table lamp lit as he pours the ladies some coffee. "Gotta take care of my best customers," Luke says. They, naturally, need a little time with the menu, and tease him about how charming the place is. "You know, I'm gonna need a minute," Lorelai trills at him, all smiles. He smiles back. "Take all the time you need," he says. Rory sees and knows all and is happy. She compliments Lorelai on her necklace as Luke goes to the kitchen to make them a smorgasbord breakfast. "Suits you," Rory says. As Rory takes a sip of coffee, Lorelai reminds her to be careful of coffee on the bus. She brilliantly suggests getting Rory a thermos that says "World's Greatest Reporter," and we fade out as they laugh together, in their favorite place, as Rory prepares to go out into the world and Lorelai prepares to start a new life with Luke. Could I cry any more? Doubtful. Could there be any sweeter finale? Nope. It is very hard to say goodbye, and I wish we never had to, but honestly...what a pleasure it's been to follow this excellent show. Thanks.